Original subtitles

[child laughs]

[muffled heartbeat]

[Kristen] "If thou wilt cut off

"the heads of thy two children

"and besmear me with their blood, I shall receive life again."

"Besmear me"?

That's disgusting.

Fairy tales?

Weak, Kris. Very weak.

Weak? Have you ever read these things?

Not the Wimpy versions-- the original ones.

Ah, no. Can't say I have.

[Gary] I have.

They're full of stabbings and demons

and man-eating animals

and cutting off limbs and what not-- cool stuff.

My favorite's the one where the old man kidnaps the prince

and puts blood on the queen's mouth while she sleeps

to make the king think she ate him.

That's so gross. I love it!

I'm not buying it.

A kiddie story's a kiddie story, no matter how you cut it.

Oh, man, you're not going to tell

some tired old fairy tale, are you?

[Kristen] Not exactly.

The story I'm going to tell is about a girl who loved fairy tales.

She had a huge collection. She knew most of them by heart.

But the trouble was, she spent so much time

thinking about the world of make-believe

that she started to forget the difference

between reality and imagination, and when you do that,

a fairy tale can soon become a scary tale.

Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Society,

I call this story...

Go ahead, my dear.

Have a taste.

Such a pretty apple.

You must take a bite, for if you don't, I'll have to...

force you to eat it!

Ah ha ha ha!

You got to grow up, Jill.

This is stupid.

There's nothing under there.

Aah!

Mom, Dad-- the bed! There's something there!

Something under the bed-- it grabbed me!

Oh, Jill, not again.

I swear it! It grabbed me!

- Oh, honey, it was a dream. - Oh, it wasn't!

I sat on the bed,

and these green, nasty-looking, scaly hands

reached out and tried to pull me under.

I'm not kidding. Look!

Aah!

Mmm.

Didn't we have this last week?

Don't make fun of me.

[boy] What's going on?

Nothing. Jill had a nightmare.

It wasn't a nightmare. There was something under there.

Jill, we all have nightmares.

You just can't take them so seriously.

Go back to bed.

- Got you. - It was you?

Mom!

Come on. Don't be such a snitch.

I hate you! Why did you do that?

I thought you wanted to find something under the bed.

- You're always looking. - Why don't you just grow up?

Me? You're the one who's still living in a fairtland, princess.

You're 13 years old. Listen to the radio.

Go to a concert or something.

Stop being a kid, and maybe you won't be scared

or bogeymen under the bed anymore.

Sweet dreams.

Jill, come on!

You're going to miss the bus.

Jill, don't do this again.

I'm coming.

[Kirsten] Jill was having a rough time.

Everyone kept telling her to "grow up" and "act your age,"

but she didn't know how to grow up any faster,

and she wasn't exactly sure

how kids her age were supposed to act.

- Yuck. - I can't wait. Adios!

Jill, I am not going to call you again!

- I'm late. - Why does she always do this?

I don't know, but if she missed the bus again,

it's your turn to drive her.

- But-- - Bye.

Jill, I am not going to be late for work.

I'm coming!

- Sorry. - Why do you do this?

All I ask is that you get up and out on time.

Now I'm going to have to drive you to school,

and I'm going to be late for work again.

- I told you I'm sorry. - Don't ignore me.

You are going to have to learn some responsibility, miss.

Other people live in this house,

and we're getting tired of putting up with your childishness.

Come on.

[Kristen] Jill kind of understood

why her family was getting angry,

but her friends weren't helping much, either.

[sigh]

He's so fine.

I'd talk to him, but I'd probably drool or something.

Aren't you guys being kind of obvious?

We're just looking.

Yeah-- like a couple of silly gooses.

Silly gooses?

My grandmother says that.

Did you see that?

He checked her out! Did he check her out?

No way. He wouldn't check out a geek.

Look at this-- Grimmes' Fairy Tales, Mother Goose,

the Sandman and other tales. What is with her?

Is she, like, a baby or something?

Talk about us! We saw you flirt with him.

I didn't! I had to sharpen my pencil.

Yeah, right.

He's coming. He's coming.

- Hey, Jill. - Hi.

You have that reading assignment

Kelly gave us yesterday? I lost it someplace.

[Jill] Sure.

This what you're supposed to read?

- Hey! - These are really interesting.

You reading these?

Yeah. No. I have to do a book report.

- On what-- Humpty Dumpty? - [boy] Hey, trolls!

I used to play with these when I was a kid.

Jill plays with them now.

Get out of here. Really?

Hey, Jill, you forgot your doll.

[Kristen] Jill knew she was being kind of childish,

but there was something inside her

that didn't want to give up the world of fairy tales,

because in all those stories, no matter how bad things got,

everyone always lived happily ever after,

and the princess always got the prince.

I've come to awaken you, Sleeping Beauty.

- Grrr! - Aah!

- Oh, Jill, it's me. - Why did you do that?

I got this for Halloween, and I just wanted to show you.

You did not. You wanted to scare me again.

No, really, I didn't mean--

Yes, you did! I hate you! I hate all of you!

I'm sorry! Geez, don't get so bent out of shape.

Get out of here! Leave me alone!

No sweat. I'm gone.

What's so wrong about wanting to live in a world

where dreams come true and you can wish on a star?

I wish I could,

and I wish everybody would just leave me alone.

[ticking]

Jon! That's it, I'm telling!

You're going to get it!

I'm sorry, but Jon is--

Mom?

Dad?

Are you down there?

Jon?

Come out, will you?

[rustling]

You are such a slime.

If you think that you're going to scare me again--

- Hi, there! - Aah!

Aah!

No!

[ticking]

Hello?

Hello?

Excuse me.

I got to be dreaming.

[snoring]

Don't touch that! You'll ruin everything!

Who-- who are you?

Who do you think I am? Take a guess.

- You're the guy under my bed. - That's it?

My entire persona described as "that guy under your bed"?

I think you can do a little better than that.

This is a dream.

I've got to be dreaming.

You're getting warmer, but you're only half-right.

This place is a dream, but you're not dreaming.

I don't like riddles.

"The strangest things I've are there for me,

"both things to eat and things to see.

"And many frightening sights abroad

till morning in the Land of Nod."

Stop it. I'm scared, and I want to know where I am.

Oh, all right. You're no fun.

Young Miss, you're in the Land of Nod,

where everyone goes to dream.

Land of Nod? And who are you?

Uh, isn't it obvious?

I'm the Sandman...

and this is my home.

The Sandman.

Like, the guy who puts sand in your eyes

to make you go to sleep?

At your serivce. Thank you.

But that's a fairy tale.

Exactly. Now we're getting somewhere.

Excuse me.

[snoring]

Oh!

- Needs more snooze. - I don't believe you.

I don't believe any of this. It's a joke.

- It's... it's just... - It's, uh, what you wished for.

- What? - Here's the scene.

You took my book, clutched it to your chest,

looked out at the first star, and said,

"What's so wrong about wanting to live

"in a place when dreams come true,

"where you can wish upon a star?

"I wish I could,

and I wish everybody would leave me alone."

Sound familiar?

No. No way.

Yes way! You're in your own fairy tale.

Would you like to see how it comes out?

Yes!

Sorry. That would be cheating.

- I want to go home. - Uh...

Sorry. That's not what happens.

Besides, fairy tales can't be changed.

Where's my family? Did you take them, too?

Don't worry. They're here.

They won't bother you anymore, just like you wished.

- No. I'm going home. - You can't. That's reality.

You wanted a fairy tale, remember?

No, I don't. I want to go home.

Then maybe you should have been a little bit more careful

about what you wished for.

Ha ha ha ha!

[Sandman laughing]

[Sandman] I don't think so. Ha ha ha!

[Sandman laughing]

[Sandman] Hoo hoo hoo!

Like to try another fairy tale?

They're all so much fun.

Off with her head!

Aah!

[Sandman] Ha ha ha ha!

Didn't like that fairy tale?

Try another. Ha ha ha ha!

Hoo hoo hoo!

I was expecting Hansel and Gretel, but you'll do nicely.

Come closer, my dear.

Ah ha ha ha!

[Sandman] Maybe you should have left

a trail of breadcrumbs,

or maybe you should stick with your own fairy tale.

Stacy?

Stacy, wake up!

Rick?

Jon, wake up. You got to wake--

- [Sandman laughing] - [Jill] No!

I didn't want this!

This isn't what I wished for!

[Sandman] Yes, you did!

Welcome to your fairy tale. Ha ha ha ha!

Aah!

I want to go home!

I'll break it! I swear!

Put it down, Jill. You don't know what you're doing.

You send me home,

and send my family and friends home, too.

I can't. Fairy tales can't be changed.

They are what they are. Now, leave it alone!

Not until you let us go.

But you wanted everyone to live happily ever after.

They'll sleep peacefully forever in the Land of Nod.

They're prisoners, and so am I.

This isn't the way your family tale's supposed to end,

but if insist on being foolish, I'll have to put you to sleep, too.

What?

So the fairy tale can be changed, after all.

I didn't say that.

Yes, you did. It's my fairy tale,

and if you can change it, so can I.

Please, put that down!

And I'm going to close the book!

No!

Off with her...

- Just like you... - No!

[Sandman laughing]

- Ha ha ha! - Aah!

Jill?

Jill, honey, what's the matter?

Yeah, now what?

It-- it was a dream.

It was all a dream.

You were screaming. Are you OK?

No. She's not. She's a nut case.

Ha ha ha!

- See? - No. I'm fine.

It was a stupid nightmare. I'm sorry.

It's OK, honey.

Go back to sleep.

[Jill] Guys?

I know I've been kind of a pain.

I think it's time to start giving up this fairy tale stuff.

Hooray.

That's fine, honey.

Just don't give up on the kid inside altogether, OK?

I'm never going to get back to sleep.

[Sandman] The little girl went back to sleep,

promising never to believe in fairy tales again.

If only she knew--

she would have never gone back in that bed again!

Ha ha ha ha!

The End.

So...

don't take fairy tales lightly.

You never know which ones are made up

and which ones are real.

Excellent.

I just have one question.

What?

Where's the part about the kids getting their heads chopped off?

Captioned by Grant Brown