All language subtitles for Monk_S07E03_Mr. Monk Gets Lotto Fever.English (CC)

And the final number is… 44.

Making tonight's gold rush numbers
35, 4, 7,

53, 23 and 44.

This is your gold rush girl
Marissa Kessler

wishing everyone a lucky lotto day.

Somebody help me!

[man grunts]

[suspenseful music]

Help!

[screams]

[breathing heavily]

[car alarm chirps]

-[man grunts]
-[screams]

Help me!

-No!
-[man grunts]

No! [grunts]

No, no, please, don't!

[screaming]

-No!
-[body thuds]

["It's A Jungle Out There"
by Randy Newman plays]

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Disorder and confusion everywhere ♪

♪ No one seems to care
Well, I do ♪

♪ Hey, who's in charge here? ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Poison in the very air we breathe ♪

♪ You know what's in the water
That you drink? ♪

♪ Well, I do, and it's amazing ♪

♪ People think I'm crazy
'Cause I worry all the time ♪

♪ If you paid attention,
You'd be worried too ♪

♪ You'd better pay attention
Or this world we love so much ♪

♪ Might just kill you ♪

♪ I could be wrong now ♪

♪ But I don't think so ♪

♪ 'Cause it's a jungle out there ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

There's something wrong here.

This is wrong.

This is very wrong.

This is very, very--

Wrong?

This was no random mugging.

This was all about her. He was after her.

Took her purse and some jewelry.

He wanted us to think robbery.
She was stabbed six times.

That's right.
Two in the neck, four in the back.

Or was stabbed three times.

Look at the pattern.

Two, two, and two.

Three times with a pair of scissors.

-Yes, that's possible.
-Who brings scissors to a mugging?

-Scissors say what?
-Spur of the moment, not planned.

Plus… The mud on her shoes.

There's a mud puddle near the exit.

But there's a light right there.

If she was walking,
she would've seen that.

So she was running
when she left the building.

Whatever happened started inside.
There was some kind of fight.

He grabbed some scissors
and chased her out here.

Find me the station manager.

I want a list of every employee
that was here last night.

-Make that every employee, period.
-Yes, sir.

Any idea on motive?

I guess you can say
that there were 12 million people

with a motive, myself included.

This was the lotto girl.

She broke my heart three times a week.

What is that?

-[Stottlemeyer] What's what?
-[Monk] On her fingertips.

Is that paint?

Yeah, looks like it.

Hey, Gabby!

Take a sample from
her left fingers, left hand.

[officer] Excuse me, Mr. Monk?

I have a nephew. He's 10 years old.

He's your biggest fan.

-Oh.
-He clips articles.

He thinks you're cooler than Spider-Man.

Really? Kids!

If I could get your autograph,
he'd think I'm some kind of hero.

Uh, sorry, Mr. Monk is working.

Maybe when he's finished.

Oh, sorry.

Anything else?

Clues, clues, scanning, scanning.

No, that's it, all done.

You said something about an autograph?

That would be great. Thank you so much.

I got a…

Uh, would you mind? Uh…

Would you mind? Perpendicular.

Put your head down.
Your hair's in the way.

Head down, head down.

-Are you okay?
-Oh, she's fine.

She looks mad.

No, that's just her look.

What's that?

"It looks like her number came up."

It's a zinger. [chuckling]

She's a lotto girl. Her number came up.

-Get it?
-Mm-hmm.

You remember last year Sergeant Beecham
shoved that junkie into a lamp post,

and he said, "I'll keep you posted."

-Oh, yeah, I heard about that.
-Everybody heard about it.

I mean, people were repeating it.
It was famous.

This is even better.

This is a classic.

If you say so.

Yeah, I just need
to pick the right moment.

Captain, if you're ready
to release the body,

-I can take her downtown.
-Okay.

I still don't get it.
Who'd want to kill the lotto girl?

I guess her number came up.

[laughter]

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, what are you doing?
That was my line, man.

What are you talking about?

I just said the exact same thing
two seconds--

Ask the captain.

Randy, this is a crime scene,
for God sakes--

No, you heard me.

You know what? He must've heard me.

Oh, it's okay, look.

It's written in my notebook right here.

See that?

"It looks like her number came up."

Let's see your notebook.

I didn't write it. I just thought of it.

Oh, please, come on!
Can you believe this guy?

You know what?

I'm gonna have your badge, Officer Kil--

Come on, Shecky, let's walk it off.

Excuse me. I'm Stan Lawrence.

I'm the station manager.
Here's that list you wanted.

Oh, great, great, great.
I'll make sure they get it.

How long did she work here?

Not long. Just a few weeks.

I still can't believe it.

I… I should've put more lights back here.

Oh, no, no, no, you can't blame yourself.

It was after midnight.
The parking lot was empty.

More lights wouldn't
have made a difference.

Thank you, Officer.
That's very nice of you to say.

I'm not an officer. I work with Mr. Monk.

Is that Adrian Monk?

I've heard of him. He's a genius, right?

And you're his partner.

Partner/babysitter/ assistant/babysitter.

[laughter]

What's your name?

Natalie Teeger.

Miss Teeger, I know
this probably sounds callous,

but have you ever done any acting?

Me? No. [laughs]

Well, here's my problem.

We've got another show tomorrow night,
and I know it's terrible timing,

but we need someone to pick the numbers.

You mean on TV?

I think you're a natural.

No, I don't think so. [chuckles]

Here you go.

I was just talking
to his nephew on the phone.

He couldn't even believe it was really me.

Felt like Fats Domino.

Mr. Monk, this is Mr. Lawrence.
He's the station manager. Hi.

He just asked me to be the new lotto girl.

Only for one night.

We can hold a regular audition
over the weekend.

What do you think?

I don't know.

What do you think?

Oh, I think it sounds like fun.

I know, but here's the thing.

Tomorrow is Wednesday.

Oh, we already made plans.

What plans?

Me making dinner while you vacuum the rug?

Exactly. And here's the other thing.

If I let you take a night off,

I have to let everybody take a night off.

Who's everybody?

What are you talking about? It's just me.

Mr. Monk, come on. It's one night.

Well, then I'll guess
I'll just have to say no…

Kay.

Nokay.

Nokay.

Which is it? "No" or "okay?"

Nokay. Nokay.

He's trying to say okay.

-That's as close as he's ever gonna get.
-No… kay.

[Natalie laughs]

-"Nokay."
-I'll do it.

-[laughter]
-"Nokay."

[whispering] She looks nervous.

I don't care, as long as she's lucky.

Is it too much?

You look great.

Excuse me, new girl.

-New girl, you're off your mark.
-My mark?

Yeah, the big "X" on the floor.

-Look where I'm pointing.
-Oh.

-Ninety seconds!
-Ninety seconds?

Wait, no, no! I don't have a script.

Excuse me, I never got a script.

There is no script. This is the lottery.

For the love of God,
if there was a script,

-we'd all be rich.
-God.

Amateurs.

[crew] You guys all set?

Captain, Lieutenant.
How's the investigation going?

Well, we're just getting started.

Spoke to the staff, the camera crew.

Everybody said they left
the building after the show.

They usually do.

Well, somebody was here.
The girl didn't stab herself.

You wanted to know if Marissa
received any fan mail.

Some of them are pretty dicey.

You know, personal. I put them on top.

I need quiet, everyone!

New girl.

New girl, you're on in five,
four, three, two,

-[music plays]
-Good evening… people.

[music stops]

Welcome to the Big Gold Rush pick 6.

I'm Natalie Teeger. Are you ready to play?

Then let's play the lottery.

And the first number is…

[whispering] Turn it on!

Turn it on!

Oh.

-[music playing]
-Oh, my God!

And the first number is…25.

[giggling] My mother's birthday.

The next number…

52!

Fifty-two… cards in a deck.

[Natalie chuckles nervously]

The next number is…

seven.

The Seven Dwarves.

Seven Dwarves.

Thirty-two.

Thirty-two teeth.
[clicks tongue]

And… Whoo!

Ten, my boss' absolute favorite number.

Oh, crap.

Apparently not everybody's favorite.

And the final number is 17.

My daughter's age. Hi, Julie!

Once again, the gold rush numbers
are 25, 52, 7,

32, 10, and 17.

So that's it for now.

Keep playing lotto.

You'll thank me later.

[giggles]

You'll thank me later?

That's my line. I say that.

Hurts, doesn't it?

You know, I might as well flush 20 bucks
down the toilet once a week.

God, I was terrible.

Wasn't I terrible?

-Yes.
-You were great.

God, I don't know what happened.
I just got so nervous.

You were great.

It's like a tax on the stupid.

Come on, Randy. We're parked out front.

Great job.

[Monk laughs]

[chuckling] Well, thank you, Mr. Monk.

-Oh, it was fun.
-Yeah.

I'm glad you did it.

What a fun thing to do only one time

and never try it again
or mention it again.

Natalie, where you going?

Mr. Lawrence, I told you
I wasn't an actor.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry about what?

That you did such a terrific job?

The phones are lighting up like crazy.

They love you.
And those little ad lib things you did.

You were wonderful. Wasn't she wonderful?

[fake laughter]

So, what do you say?

About what?

About doing it full-time.

It's just three nights a week.

I promise it won't interfere
with your day job.

I mean, I don't know.
You really thought I was good?

I told you when I met you
you're a natural.

Oh! Mr. Monk?

Well, why…

Why don't we think about it?

Okay, I will.

I just did. I want to do it!

Oh, Mr. Monk, I'm so sorry
but I could really use the money

-and I think it could be fun.
-There you go.

-A star is born!
-[Natalie laughs]

Uh…

Don't worry.
It's not gonna change a thing.

My job with you always
comes first, I promise.

Come on, we've got a million things to do.

We gotta talk to the publicity people
and set up a photo shoot.

I hope your afternoon is free…

[Monk muttering]

[bus door hisses]

Oh, I hate that picture!

I like the other one better.
The one on the trolley cars.

What do you think?

I don't know.

[laughing] Oh, my God, it's so weird
seeing myself on a bus like that.

I mean, I can't believe
it's really me up there.

I can't believe this is really happening.

I can't believe it either.

I hate to bring this up,
but we have work to do.

Remember, your predecessor,
Marissa Kessler.

Murder victim.

Multiple stab wounds.
Does that ring a bell?

-Sorry, sorry.
-[bus brakes hiss]

All right, Randy and the captain
are probably already there.

Should be just around the corner.
It's number 24.

Twenty-four.

Twenty-four!

-Twenty-four.
-Are you done?

Sorry, let's do this.

What's the guy's name again?
Her-- Who was it? Her ex-boyfriend?

No! No, the ex-boyfriend had an alibi
and he checked out. God.

That's right, you weren't
at the meeting this morning.

But I had to shop for a dress.

I can't wear the same thing every show.

I had to wear the same blouse
three times last week.

Three!

Three.

Three, tres, three.

-Hello.
-Sorry.

Just remind me.

All right, his name is Malcolm O'Dwyer.

He's some kind of lottery fanatic.

Wrote a bunch of fan letters
to Marissa before she was killed.

Hey! I'm a big fan!

Thank you very much.

Not you. The lotto girl.

You'll thank me later!

[chuckles]

That's not actually my line.

Mr. Monk said it first!

I thought that was you. It's you, right?

-Yeah, yes, it is. Natalie Teeger.
-Yeah.

Oh, my God. [chuckles]

I hate to bother you. Would you mind?

-We really do have to--
-Oh, sure.

We should… we should head up.

Mr. Monk, do you mind?

-Captain's probably--
-Mr. Monk.

Bend. Bend a little.

Bend, please. [giggling] Bend.

I never know what to say.

I know what to say.

[Malcolm] Did I write those letters?

Of course I wrote the letters.

My name's on them.
I'm not gonna deny that.

Did you bother reading them?

Yes, sir, I have.

Then you know
I didn't threaten anybody.

I offered the producers
and the lottery commissioner

some constructive criticism.

I don't know why they don't listen to me.
I know more about this lottery system

than any living American.

I'm sure you do, Mr. O'Dwyer.

It's not just a game. Not to me.

I can see that.

Where were you a week ago Monday, sir?

A week ago Monday.
That would be 4, 7, 23, 35, 44, 53.

Excuse me?

I was here.

Like always…

Watching a drawing.

Three prime numbers!

I did not see that one coming.

Do you own a pair
of scissors, Mr. O'Dwyer?

Of course I do. Who doesn't?

May I see them, please.

How about some metallic paint?

Paint?

Yeah, a shade called Titanium Black.

Do you think I killed Melissa Kessler?

Well, you do have her picture
up all over the wall?

I've got everybody's picture
up on the wall.

I mean, these are the past lottery girls.

Jackpot winners.
People who work there.

Secretaries, gaffers.
They all know me.

I'm a freelance journalist.

I, uh, publish a newsletter.
Lotto Bulletin.

Yeah, I've seen that. What's this?

Oh, these are some numbers
I'm thinking of playing.

Oh, no, Malcolm, don't worry.
Nobody's gonna steal your numbers.

Well, you'd be a fool not to.

These six numbers
aren't just chosen at random.

They're my own algorithm

based on probability,
emerging number patterns,

the theories of Sir Isaac Newton.

Isaac Newton.

Really?

There's just six numbers.
You only buy one ticket a week?

That's all I need.

How many do you buy?

Um…Well, it depends.

Um… 20.

[laughs]

You're just shotgunning it, huh?

Rookie move.

Well, how much have you won?

How much ever or how much this year?

-Let's say ever.
-Zero.

It's not just about winning or losing.

It's the lottery!

It's all about winning.
What else is there?

The journey, Captain!

It's how you get there.

I'd rather lose my way

then win a $20 million jackpot your way.

Okay.

I think we're through here.

You think you're pretty clever,
don't you, Mr. Lottery Expert?

Well, I've got news for you.

We've got your number.

[exhales]

-Hey.
-Mother of mercy.

Yeah, we were just leaving.

I don't blame you. Who is this guy?

A very colorful dead end.

Where's Natalie?

Uh, she's downstairs.

Oh, she's signing autographs.

You hate this, don't you?

-What?
-Natalie getting all the attention.

No, I'm happy for her.

Sure you are.

It's good for her. She deserves it.
It's long overdue.

It's driving you crazy. I can tell.

You used to be the superstar.
Now you're Garfunkel.

I'm not Garfunkel.

You're Garfunkel, and you can't stand it.

I'm not Garfunkel.

I'm not Garfunkel.

[exhales]

Congratulations to all your winners.

We'll see you Monday night

for the biggest super jackpot
in lotto history.

$212 million.

I'm Natalie Teeger
reminding everybody to try your luck.

-You'll thank me later.
-[music playing]

Bye-bye.

[director] And we're out.

Eddie, you did it again.

Please don't cue the music
until I'm waving good-bye.

-Sorry.
-It's not rocket science.

Stan, there you are. Did you get my email?

-About?
-My new idea.

About all the fan letters
I've been getting.

Thought I could read a few on the air.

Well, I don't really think we have time.

Oh, sure we have time.
I'll pick the lotto numbers faster.

Well, you see, Natalie,
the show's about the numbers.

That's why people are watching.
It's not really about you really.

[giggles]
Really? Is that what you're hearing?

Because that's not what I'm hearing.

[chuckles]
Why don't we discuss this later?

-I'll see you Monday.
-Okay.

Jeez. Excuse me.

Do these cables have to be right here?

Yes, they do.

They carry your voice
from this microphone to that soundboard.

Can't you put them someplace else?
I almost broke my neck.

Almost doesn't count.

Fine, I'll do it.

Okay, what are you doing?

Are you mental?

Put it down, put it down.

Let it go. I'm taking care of it.

I got it. Put it down!

-Billy, what the hell are you doing?
-Stan, I can't work with this guy.

You can't work with me?

Who do you think you are, lady?

I've been here for eight years,

and you're just another
untalented pretty face.

-Billy, calm down.
-Untalented, huh?

The ratings keep going up every night.
How do you explain that?

The ratings go up
when the jackpot goes up!

It has nothing to do with you, you moron!

Billy, I've warned you
before about your attitude.

That's it. You're out of here.
You're fired!

Somebody call security!

What? No, no, no, fired?

Wait, no, don't fire him.

Look, see, I'm moving it.
I'm moving the cable.

-Too late. Get him out of here.
-Stan, don't do this.

-Please, not now, okay? I'm sorry.
-It's too late, Billy.

-I'm apologizing!
-Mr. Logan has been terminated.

I don't want him back in the building.

You make sure
you get his security pass and keys.

Get him out of here!

Stan, listen to me. It was my fault too.

-I tripped over the cable.
-Natalie, this is not about you.

I've been warning this guy all summer.

Come on, people.

Let's get that stage reset
and make it look good.

Big, big jackpot on Monday.

[indistinct chattering]

Garfunkel?

Yeah, I'm probably the biggest Garfunkel
who ever lived.

I mean, after all I've done for her.

You know, I give her money
almost every week.

But doesn't she work for you?

That's not the point exactly.

Adrian, Natalie's a human being.

Now all this attention can
throw a person off-balance,

especially if it comes suddenly
and unexpectedly.

I once wrote a book on body language,
and it… [chuckles]

It spent all of three minutes
on the best seller list.

Now I was very young, and I'm sorry to say
I became a bit of a diva.

I didn't like myself very much.

Oh, so now you're on her side.

The question is
why aren't you on her side?

Why aren't you happy for her?

Natalie's your friend.

Maybe you're afraid
she doesn't need you anymore.

Maybe you're afraid of losing her.

Maybe I just feel insulted.

Insulted?

What I do is hard.

I am out there.

I am sweating out every clue.

I'm putting killers behind bars.

What does she do?

What does she do?!

Ninety-one.

Number 91!

Ninety-one.

Number 91.

Ninety-one. Number nine--

I mean… [scoffs]

How hard is that?

A talking monkey could do her job.

It's embarrassing.

Actually, that's 16.

You're holding it upside down.

Oh, it's confusing.

There's usually a little
line under the nine.

It goes under the six.
The line goes under the six.

I'm pretty sure it's the nine.

It's no big deal.
I've seen it my whole life.

I've never seen it under the six.

Why don't we ask Natalie then?

-She's the expert.
-Okay, okay.

But I see your point.

About the monkey.

Look, all I'm trying to say is
it's not the same Natalie.

If you knew her, you wouldn't know her.

Last night after the show,
she got somebody fired.

Really? One of the crew, the sound guy.

There were some wires on the floor.

She was like… [roaring and hissing]

Complaining and…

I mean, I met the guy when I was--
He was a nice kid.

Now what's he gonna do?

What's he gonna do?

[muttering]

Wait. Don't tell me.

Sound engineer Billy Logan, right?
Oh, my, what are you doing here?

Oh, my God, come in,
come in, come in, come in!

Oh, I can't believe this.

You've been taking pictures of me.

Yeah, I thought I saw you.

I hope you don't mind.

There was nothing on the web site,

so I took a few candids.

Uh, they're for the next issue.

Cast and crew after-hours,
behind the scenes.

While I have you here,

I have, uh, well, a couple of questions.

[menacing music]

[groans]

[sniffs]

It's not your lucky day.

What a shame. Just a kid.

At least he didn't
hit anybody when he jumped.

Are we sure he jumped?

"Tired of losing." Not much of a note.

Brevity, the soul of wit.

But he was a writer.

Look at all these letters.

No, there's something weird about this.

[chuckles] Monk, look around you.

That note's probably the least weird thing
in the whole apartment.

This is the birthplace of weird.

But why today?
This guy was a lottery nut.

Isn't tomorrow night the big jackpot?

Yeah.

Yeah, he probably knew he'd never win,

which makes him a whole
lot smarter than me.

What do you got?

Contact lens case.

With only one lens.

[groans]

Fluid! It's fluid!

I need a wipe.

I don't have a wipe.

Give me a wipe. Just-- I need a wipe.

Where's Natalie?

[woman] I'm your biggest fan.
I never miss a show.

Oh, thank you. That means a lot.

Natalie, what's your favorite number?

Oh, my gosh, there's so many.

-Mine's 19.
-That's a good one.

You think it's gonna come up tomorrow?

-Excuse me.
-Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Monk.

I got a little distracted.

Is the cadaver in your way?

We could move it across the street
if you like.

I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

So how did it go upstairs?

Fine.

That your boyfriend?

Oh, no, this is my boss.

This is Adrian Monk,

who's a hugely famous detective.

-He solves huge--
-Natalie, who does your hair?

Oh, God.

Well, um, you take your time, okay.

I'll just be over here at the crime scene
if anybody's interested.

[woman] Natalie, my mom's in the hospital,

and it would mean so much to her
if you would take a picture with me.

Please?

-Okay.
-Thanks.

Murder!

Or suicide.

Or murder.

It's a tough call.

Yeah, this is a tough one.

In many ways, this reminds me
of the killer astronaut case

I solved last year.

You probably read about it.

Hey, Monk, look at this.

Hello!

It's the other lens.

Looks like you were right.

Nobody jumps after putting in
one contact lens.

Want me to put it in this evidence bag?

Bag number 32!

Hey, 32!

Thirty-two!

Three-two!

Thirty-two!

Mr. Monk, are you mocking me in public?

I don't make fun of your job.

That's because I have a real job.

I'm solving a homicide here.

Well, I have a real job too.

I'm changing people's lives.
I'm making them rich.

You are not making them rich.

You're not giving them financial advice.

You're just reading little numbers
off little white ping pong balls.

And if it wasn't you,

they'd just hire some other bim--

Some other what? "Bim" what?

"Bimportant" person.

Mr. Monk, do you think I'm a bimbo?

Hey, look, I know what I do

isn't the most bimportant job
on the earth,

but what do I do for you?

Hand you wipes all day long.
Pick up your laundry.

You know, people admire me now,

and I admit it,
I am enjoying the attention.

I guess I needed it.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry,

but I can't work like this.

So you're gonna have to choose.

[dramatic music]

All right, then I guess I quit.

Thank God!

Well, call the station manager.

Tell him to find somebody else.

No, I quit you.

I quit us.

-[murmuring]
-Excuse me.

Just one more shot.

Monk, stop crying.

I don't know where she is.

It's gonna be okay.

No, no, I can't, Monk. I'm at the gym.

No, you don't want to come
down here, believe me.

There are naked people here.

Look, I tell you what.
I gotta work late tonight.

Why don't you come by the office.

Good, okay. See you then.

Hello, everybody. I'm Natalie Teeger.

Who's ready to make lotto history?

Our super jackpot is worth $212 million.

Why did I make her choose?

Of course she'd choose to leave.

-Everybody leaves. First my father.
-Monk, don't do this now.

-Then Trudy.
-Trudy didn't leave you.

Sharona and Dr. Kroger.

I can't blame Natalie for leaving.

I'd leave me too if I had the chance.

Oh, I am the King of Garfunkel.

I am oozing Garfunkel.

[Disher] She'll be back, Monk.
She just needs time to cool off.

That's right.
She probably feels worse than you do.

Oh, she looks pretty happy to me.
Oh, would you just turn it off, please?

This is too painful.

No, no, wait, did she just say 15?

I got four numbers here.

[Natalie] Ooh, our next number is 33.

Three-three, so nice they named it twice.

-Oh, my God.
-Okay, all right

I can't stand it anymore, all right?

And our final number for $212 million is…

Fifty-four. Fifty-four.

Fifty-four!

[suspenseful music]

54!

-Making tonight's final gold rush numbers…
-Twenty-five, 62,

-12, 15, 33, and 54,
-12, 15,

-15, 33 and 54.
-33… [giggles] And 54.

[laughter]

Oh, my dear lord!

-All day I had this feeling.
-Congratulations.

Are you gonna quit?

What? You kidding?

I quit 30 seconds ago when the 54 ball
popped out of the drum.

[laughs heartily]

Come here, you big beautiful
no longer hypothetical boat!

Mwah!

[chuckling]

[laughs]

Randy, do you still have
those student loans?

Yeah, I got eight more years.

Not anymore!

No way. No way, I love you!

Yes! Oh, thank you! Oh, thank you.

I don't believe it. Wait, wait, 200 what?

$212 million!

I gotta call my kids.
I gotta find a good accountant.

Hey, I can buy a good accountant.

I can buy 20 good accountants!

-I hit the jackpot!
-Captain just won the lottery!

Hey, next time you call me captain,
it's because you're on my boat!

-Yeah! [laughs]
-[cheering]

Oh, my goodness, I'm a rich man!

Everybody leaves.

Mr. Monk, I'm sorry.
I didn't know where else to go.

What happened? Are you okay?

-You haven't heard?
-What?

What time is it?

5:00, one minute after.

Turn on the news.

-What channel?
-Any channel.

[Female reporter] A major scandal
involving the Gold Rush lottery.

As we told you this morning,
there were two winners

in last night's jackpot giveaway.

Eugene Maddox, a truck driver
from Rockaway Township,

and Leland Stottlemeyer,
a highly decorated officer

with the San Francisco police.

Now according to the rules,
these two men would split

the $212 million grand prize.

Mr. Maddox, what do you do for a living?

Yesterday I was unemployed.

Today, I guess I'm retired.

[laughing] That makes two of us, brother.

[reporter] But in a stunning
development this morning,

the lottery commissioner
suspended all payment

to Captain Stottlemeyer
after it was revealed

that Stottlemeyer has known
and worked with Natalie Teeger,

the newly hired lotto ball girl.

There is a news conference…

They said we cheated.

Why? Just because you know the captain?

I mean, it looks bad,
but it's not impossible--

No, it's not just that.
They said they have proof.

They checked the equipment.

There was something wrong
with the machine.

-It was rigged.
-Rigged.

They said I'm going to jail.

Mr. Monk, I sorry
I said I quit, I'm sorry.

Okay, okay.

You have to help me.

Yeah.

Good morning, Miss Teeger, Captain.

You and your friend Mr. Monk wanted to see
what evidence we had.

-Yeah.
-Well, here it is.

Before we begin,
is there anything you want to say

to the lottery commissioner?

Yep.

I'm not a cheater. Neither is Natalie.

That's all I have to say.

Well, I'm afraid we can prove otherwise,
Captain Stottlemeyer.

After the drawing,
we received a phone call.

An anonymous tip.
I asked Mr. Lawrence to check it out.

I reviewed the tape
from Monday night's show.

I didn't see anything suspicious,
so we examined the machine itself.

We examined the balls.
We measured them. We weighed them.

We were bouncing them,
and everything seemed perfectly normal.

So what's the problem?

This is the problem.

-The same numbers?
-The same numbers.

But that's not possible.

That's what we thought. So we tried again.

And again. And again.

And the same six numbers kept popping up.

Not always in the same order,

but the very same numbers.

How did that happen?

They're very lucky numbers.

Metallic paint.

Very good, Mr. Monk.

We took a closer look.

The numbers on these six balls,

and only these six balls,

were painted with metal-based paint.

All the others are acrylic-based.

There's a magnet in the microphone.

Right again, Mr. Monk.

[Lawrence] An electromagnet,
battery-operated.

Strong enough to pull these six balls

and only these balls up the chute.

Well, we didn't put that there.

Oh, Miss Teeger, please. Don't insult us.

You started working here two weeks ago.

You had access to the equipment.

Suddenly your friend wins what,
$106 million?

I suggest you both get good lawyers.

[Stottlemeyer] What?

This is a mess.
Hey, Monk you got anything?

There were two winners.
What happened to the other man?

The truck driver.

Eugene Maddox.
We've already talked to his lawyers.

He's agreed not to sue us

in exchange for a rather
generous settlement.

I'm sure he did.

Waiter, yo!

There's something wrong with my glass.

It's empty!

You know what? Just bring the whole bottle
and charge it to the room.

I'm afraid you can't afford it, Billy.

Think you guys won the jackpot?

We got news for you, Billy.

We got your numbers.

Number. We got your number.
Numbers?

Will you girls excuse us for a minute?

So you guys are old friends?

No, no. We just met at the bar.

Yeah, I recognized him from TV.
I went over and said hello.

-What was your name again?
-Billy, don't bother.

We've already checked.

You've known each other for years.
You've worked on five movies together.

I knew I'd seen this logo
somewhere before.

At the press conference.
It was on your friend's jacket.

That's the clue that capped the case.

That's not even a real phrase.

It's all over, Billy.
We know why you killed Marissa Kessler.

The paint we found on her
fingertips told the whole story.

That night after the show,

she must've caught you
rigging the equipment.

[Disher] Looks like you painted
yourself into a corner.

[Stottlemeyer] Randy.

You think I rigged the super jackpot?

That's right.

It's… Okay, if I rigged the lottery,

if I'm so smart, why would I let
this hammerhead win half the money?

You didn't want to, you didn't plan on it,
but you got fired.

Well, because of her.

Hey, there were cables on the floor.
Somebody could've gotten killed.

They were duct taped down.
Nobody was tripping on it.

Okay, okay.

I told you about her.

Can we focus here?

Your plan was already in motion.

You put the gizmo in the microphone,

but getting fired ruined everything.

They escorted you out of the studio.

They took your security pass,
and you couldn't get back in.

You had a problem, Billy. A real dilemma.

-Is that right?
-Yeah.

You knew the six numbers
that were going to hit, but then what?

You were locked out of the building.

You couldn't just turn the magnet off.

You knew the same numbers were gonna keep
coming up night after night.

After four or five times,
somebody would've noticed.

Yeah, they'd find the magnet.

You'd be the first and only suspect,
so you framed us.

Do you have any idea
what you did to this man?

This man has nothing.

His wife left him.

His girlfriend is in jail, and he's been
living in a ratty little condo.

Thank you, Randy.

He's been looking at a sad little picture
or a boat on a wall for 11 years,

and you gave him hope,
and then you ripped his heart out.

Randy.

For that, you're gonna burn in hell.

That and a homicide.

Actually, two homicides.

Don't forget the lottery fanatic
who had a picture of them both together.

I think we're done here.

You two are under arrest. Stand up.

-Let me see your hands, hotshot.
-[cuffs click]

Thank you.

Glad you like numbers, Billy,

'Cause you're gonna be wearing
some numbers on your shirt.

-Is that right?
-They're not gonna be lotto numbers.

-I get it.
-Because you're going to prison.

-I get it.
-You have the right to remain silent.

I will if you will.

[Monk] Oh, you miss it, don't you?

[Natalie] More than you know.

No, I have the best job
in the world right here.

I'm proud to be your Garfunkel, Mr. Monk.

You know, we can both be Garfunkels.
A couple of Garfunkels.

Yeah, maybe. There's no law against it.

Yeah.

Do you know who Garfunkel is?

Sure, he's a cartoon cat.
He hates Mondays.

No, that's Garfield. This is Garfunkel.

Oh, Garfunkel! Right.

That's the thing my grandmother
had on her neck.

[laughing] No, he's a singer.

Simon and Garfunkel.

Oh, right! The Chipmunks.

No, not The Chipmunks.

"Bridge Over Troubled Water."
"Mrs. Robinson."

What are you talking about?

Their songs. "Feelin' Groovy."

Oh, so they're hippies?

-Yeah, I guess so.
-Cartoon hippies.

No, not cartoon hippies. Mr. Monk!

[theme music playing]