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1
00:00:02,278 --> 00:00:09,837
♪♪
2
00:00:09,871 --> 00:00:12,460
Hey, what's up, bitch?
Get the fuck out
of the car, bitch!
3
00:00:12,495 --> 00:00:14,048
Get the fuck out of the car!
-[ Screams ]
4
00:00:14,083 --> 00:00:15,670
You know what time it is,
bitch. Get out the car.
5
00:00:15,705 --> 00:00:16,809
Woman: [ Gasps ]
6
00:00:16,844 --> 00:00:17,810
[ Screams ]
7
00:00:17,845 --> 00:00:19,329
[ Crying ]
8
00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:22,125
[ Tires squeal ]
9
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,264
[ Horns blaring ]
10
00:00:23,299 --> 00:00:24,610
Fuck!
11
00:00:24,645 --> 00:00:26,198
Oh, shit!
12
00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:27,751
Whoo! That's what
I'm talking about!
13
00:00:27,786 --> 00:00:29,684
We got her, baby!
14
00:00:29,719 --> 00:00:31,790
[ Metal scraping ]
15
00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:34,068
The fuck
is that, man?What the fuck
are you talking about?
16
00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:36,691
Are you
dragging something?No, I didn't
fucking hit anything.
17
00:00:36,726 --> 00:00:38,521
[ Scraping continues ]
18
00:00:38,555 --> 00:00:43,077
♪♪
19
00:00:43,112 --> 00:00:44,837
Man, I don't know.
I hear something.Wait, I hear
that shit, too.
20
00:00:44,872 --> 00:00:46,425
What the fuck is that?
-All right, man. Well, just...
21
00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:53,122
♪♪
22
00:00:53,156 --> 00:00:54,295
[ Tires screech ]
23
00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:55,572
What the hell?
24
00:00:57,367 --> 00:00:58,541
The hell was that?
25
00:00:58,575 --> 00:01:01,440
[ Car doors open,
ignition chiming ]
26
00:01:01,475 --> 00:01:08,516
♪♪
27
00:01:08,551 --> 00:01:09,793
[ Shouts ]
28
00:01:09,828 --> 00:01:13,832
♪♪
29
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:22,703
♪♪
30
00:01:22,737 --> 00:01:24,843
[ Sirens wailing ]
31
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:34,163
♪♪
32
00:01:34,197 --> 00:01:44,173
♪♪
33
00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:49,212
♪♪
34
00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:52,560
[ Laughing ] Man.
He fucked y'all up.
35
00:01:52,595 --> 00:01:54,493
Wow!
I mean, God damn.
36
00:01:54,528 --> 00:01:56,875
Y-Y'all look like you did
10 rounds with Adonis Creed.
37
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,601
And y'all didn't
see nothing, huh?
38
00:01:58,635 --> 00:02:00,534
Man, I told y'all,
it was dark.
39
00:02:00,568 --> 00:02:03,571
He had a mask.
He had body armor and shit.
40
00:02:03,606 --> 00:02:06,298
Man, the nigga looked like
LEGO Batman, all right?
41
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,542
Batman? LEGO Batman.
42
00:02:08,576 --> 00:02:10,958
Does that make you
the Joker and the Penguin? Huh?
43
00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:12,753
[ Laughs ]
44
00:02:13,961 --> 00:02:16,791
[ Sighs ]
Compton Crusader. Damn.
45
00:02:16,826 --> 00:02:19,277
You know, they already
had a Compton Crusader
up on Hollywood Boulevard,
46
00:02:19,311 --> 00:02:22,625
posing with tourists
like all those other
bootleg-ass superheroes.
47
00:02:22,659 --> 00:02:24,627
Yeah, well, people need
heroes, too. Come on.
48
00:02:24,661 --> 00:02:27,250
[ Laughs ]
They do.
49
00:02:27,285 --> 00:02:28,907
Dianne: You know,
whoever this guy is
50
00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:31,427
has basic knowledge
of tactics, surveillance.
51
00:02:31,461 --> 00:02:33,325
He hasn't made any mistakes
on this one.
52
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,465
None. Hmm?
53
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:38,261
Well,
well, well.
54
00:02:38,296 --> 00:02:40,263
Detective!
55
00:02:40,298 --> 00:02:42,645
Look like you got a little
competition around here.
56
00:02:42,679 --> 00:02:44,819
Finally got somebody
to keep the people safe.
57
00:02:44,854 --> 00:02:46,994
You wouldn't know anything
about this, would you, Lloyd?
58
00:02:47,028 --> 00:02:48,789
I know
about everything.
59
00:02:48,823 --> 00:02:52,655
I keep my ear to the streets,
but I need my hearing aid.
60
00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:55,416
Lloyd, please. I don't
walk around with a fifth
of Darby in my purse.
61
00:02:55,451 --> 00:02:56,831
Can you believe this guy?[ Laughs ]
62
00:02:56,866 --> 00:02:58,316
Darby?
63
00:02:58,350 --> 00:02:59,800
Darby can
kiss my ass.
64
00:02:59,834 --> 00:03:01,250
Okay.
65
00:03:01,284 --> 00:03:02,527
No Darby?
66
00:03:02,561 --> 00:03:05,426
W-Word is
Jesus performed a miracle
67
00:03:05,461 --> 00:03:07,290
and Lloyd
can't get drunk.
68
00:03:07,325 --> 00:03:08,774
Probably saved his life.
69
00:03:08,809 --> 00:03:10,949
He ruined it.
That's what he did.
70
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:13,952
Darby was the only friend I had
in times of trouble.
71
00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:16,851
Now my only friend I got now
is my boy Benjamin.
72
00:03:16,886 --> 00:03:18,301
Benjamin?
73
00:03:18,336 --> 00:03:20,269
Yeah, the nigga
that fly that kite.
74
00:03:20,303 --> 00:03:21,960
[ Sighs ] For crying out loud.
I can't...
75
00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:23,789
I got it.
[ Clears throat ]Oh, no, partner.
76
00:03:23,824 --> 00:03:25,791
Mnh. Sss.
77
00:03:25,826 --> 00:03:27,828
Think this'll help your hearing
a little better?
78
00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:30,348
$5?
No, no, no.
79
00:03:30,382 --> 00:03:32,522
I said "Benjamin",
not "Lincoln".
80
00:03:32,557 --> 00:03:36,008
That mulatto-ass
son of a bitch ain't
gonna get you nothin'.
81
00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:37,803
Well, if you
don't want it...
Ah!
82
00:03:37,838 --> 00:03:39,564
Ehhhh...
83
00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:41,669
I-I'll take it.
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
84
00:03:41,704 --> 00:03:43,844
All right.
Y'all ready?
85
00:03:43,878 --> 00:03:46,571
-Hold on.
-Listen to me.
86
00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:48,297
All right. This is gonna
blow the case wide-open.
87
00:03:48,331 --> 00:03:49,539
[ Clears throat ]
88
00:03:49,574 --> 00:03:53,025
The Compton Crusader
is...
89
00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:56,581
[ Coughs,
clears throat ]
90
00:03:56,615 --> 00:03:59,031
...an African-American
male.
91
00:03:59,066 --> 00:04:01,965
Thank you, kindly.
Have a mighty nice day.
92
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,382
H-Hey! Hey!
93
00:04:04,416 --> 00:04:06,384
Many believe
that the Compton Crusader
94
00:04:06,418 --> 00:04:08,006
is more hero than villain.
95
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,525
Neighborhood advocates
are concerned
96
00:04:09,559 --> 00:04:11,389
that innocent residents
may be harmed.
97
00:04:11,423 --> 00:04:13,287
See, my guess is,
98
00:04:13,322 --> 00:04:15,358
them Compton Crusaders
ain't packin' no real heat.
99
00:04:15,393 --> 00:04:18,430
Why you say that? I bet he has
a bunch of guns and ammo.
100
00:04:18,465 --> 00:04:20,501
No, I'm not talking
about that kinda heat.
101
00:04:20,536 --> 00:04:22,710
I'm talking about
in the bed.
102
00:04:22,745 --> 00:04:24,574
I took a psych class.
[ Chuckles ]
103
00:04:24,609 --> 00:04:26,852
And it said that dudes
that like to beat people up
104
00:04:26,887 --> 00:04:29,441
and wear costumes
are just overcompensating
105
00:04:29,476 --> 00:04:32,030
for small genitalia
and erectile issues.
106
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:33,342
Look here.
107
00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:35,447
My -- a-and by "my",
I mean --
108
00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:38,899
I'm pretty certain my man
the Compton Crusader's package
109
00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:40,832
is damn big
and hella functional.
110
00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:42,558
Right, Boonie?
111
00:04:42,592 --> 00:04:44,387
Nigga, how the hell
should I know?
112
00:04:44,422 --> 00:04:47,079
I know I'd give
the Crusader a chance.
113
00:04:47,114 --> 00:04:50,911
I see a fine man in uniform,
and my panties get so humid,
114
00:04:50,945 --> 00:04:53,120
it's like taking off
a wet suit.
115
00:04:53,154 --> 00:04:55,605
"Wh-khh! Wh-khh!"
[ Cackles ]
116
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,435
Nessa: But what if his stuff
is really small, though?
117
00:04:57,469 --> 00:05:00,403
Even the small stuff
can get the job done.
118
00:05:00,438 --> 00:05:01,991
All they got to do
is a little flick,
119
00:05:02,025 --> 00:05:03,924
and from what I hear
about the Compton Crusader,
120
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,754
he can flick up in my stuff
any damn time.
121
00:05:06,789 --> 00:05:07,548
[ Laughs ]
122
00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:09,654
[ Gagging ]
123
00:05:09,688 --> 00:05:10,620
You done?
124
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:13,727
Suddenly, I'm not
as hungry as I thought.
125
00:05:13,761 --> 00:05:14,969
Hey.
126
00:05:15,004 --> 00:05:16,764
I'll give it a flick.
127
00:05:18,179 --> 00:05:20,492
[ Grunts, chuckles ]
128
00:05:20,527 --> 00:05:23,668
So, Ms. Tudi got y'all out there
slanging that low budget, huh?
129
00:05:23,702 --> 00:05:26,533
Man, I'm so glad I still
ain't out there doing that shit.
130
00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:29,121
It sure feel good to
kick it with the homie
one more gear, man.
131
00:05:29,156 --> 00:05:30,916
Shit feel like old times.
132
00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:33,125
Look at you, man --
you all settled,
133
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,611
responsible and things,
you know what I'm talkin' about?
134
00:05:35,645 --> 00:05:38,614
Handling business, got your life
on track and shit.
135
00:05:39,891 --> 00:05:41,927
Well...I guess
it ain't like old times.
136
00:05:41,962 --> 00:05:43,170
[ Door opens ][ Laughs ]
137
00:05:43,204 --> 00:05:45,137
But it's cool, anyway,
though, pimp.
138
00:05:45,172 --> 00:05:47,623
Dianne: [ Sighing ] Hi.
Sorry it took so long.
139
00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:50,902
Hey, Jesus! [ Chuckles ]
-What's happenin', pimp?
140
00:05:50,936 --> 00:05:52,938
-Hi, baby.
-Hi, baby.
141
00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:54,975
Both: Mwah!
142
00:05:55,009 --> 00:05:59,013
So, Jesus, now, I know
you know who it is, don't you?
143
00:05:59,048 --> 00:06:00,705
Who?
144
00:06:00,739 --> 00:06:03,017
The Compton Crusader.
Come on.
145
00:06:03,052 --> 00:06:06,400
Girl, I'm Jesus Christ.
Of course I know. [ Chuckles ]
146
00:06:06,435 --> 00:06:09,127
Baby, look, that ain't
even really, like,
no divine knowledge.
147
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,611
I mean,
that's right in our face.
148
00:06:10,646 --> 00:06:12,095
Everybody know
who that is.
149
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:13,925
You know who
the Compton Crusader is?
150
00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:15,513
Yeah.
151
00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:17,549
Crazy-ass AmBro.
152
00:06:17,584 --> 00:06:19,482
-AmBro?
-Mm-hmm.
153
00:06:19,517 --> 00:06:20,863
AmBro?
154
00:06:20,897 --> 00:06:22,830
[ Gasps ] Gun-obsessed,
over-testosteroned,
155
00:06:22,865 --> 00:06:24,694
always looking
for a fight?
156
00:06:24,729 --> 00:06:26,800
AmBro that does security
at the apartment complex?
157
00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:28,042
That AmBro?
158
00:06:28,077 --> 00:06:29,216
Oh, my God.
159
00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:31,045
He does
dress like Batman.
160
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,185
A broke-ass Batman.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Sighs ]
161
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:35,187
Baby, I didn't even know
you was working that case.
162
00:06:35,222 --> 00:06:36,844
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just got assigned.
163
00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:38,639
Wow! AmBro?
164
00:06:38,674 --> 00:06:40,123
Look, Jesus,
can you handle this?
165
00:06:40,158 --> 00:06:41,884
Just...make it go away.
166
00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:42,988
Oh, for sho'!
167
00:06:43,023 --> 00:06:44,714
I'll go down there,
hollah at him.
168
00:06:44,749 --> 00:06:46,992
It ain't nothin', girl.
I got this.Thank you!
169
00:06:47,027 --> 00:06:48,546
You got some weed?
170
00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:53,792
♪♪
171
00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:55,173
AmBro!
172
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,933
What's happenin',
pimp?!
173
00:06:56,968 --> 00:06:59,039
Hey! No drugs
to sell today?
174
00:06:59,073 --> 00:07:00,834
You scarin'
all the customers off
175
00:07:00,868 --> 00:07:04,216
with your military tactics
and regimes and things and...
176
00:07:04,251 --> 00:07:06,978
Hey, why you got to protect
the neighborhood so well, AmBro?
177
00:07:07,012 --> 00:07:08,842
Uh-huh.
178
00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:10,464
Hey, look, bruh,
179
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:13,225
I know we don't really
know each other that well --
180
00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:14,882
Well, I know you,
'cause I'm Jesus,
181
00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:16,746
but I know you don't
really know me like that --
182
00:07:16,781 --> 00:07:18,507
Look, bruh.
183
00:07:18,541 --> 00:07:20,888
I don't need to know you
like that, a'ight?
184
00:07:20,923 --> 00:07:23,753
I don't know what spell
you got over everybody else,
185
00:07:23,788 --> 00:07:25,755
but bullshit
bounces off my brain
186
00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:28,206
like greased ass
on rubber sheets.
187
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,794
Look, bruh,
188
00:07:29,828 --> 00:07:32,072
I know the military sent you
through hell and back.
189
00:07:32,106 --> 00:07:34,212
They fucked you up,
but have you ever wondered,
190
00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:36,594
how did you make it back
and so many others didn't?
191
00:07:36,628 --> 00:07:38,561
God got your back.
192
00:07:38,596 --> 00:07:42,047
He lookin' out for you, bruh,
even if you don't know it.
193
00:07:42,082 --> 00:07:45,119
And that's why I'm here --
to save you from yourself
194
00:07:45,154 --> 00:07:46,742
and all this bullshit
you're creating
195
00:07:46,776 --> 00:07:48,571
as this Compton Crusader
character.
196
00:07:48,606 --> 00:07:50,055
Me --
the Compton Crusader?
197
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:52,057
No, no, no.
198
00:07:52,092 --> 00:07:53,852
That's flattering,
and while I do think
199
00:07:53,887 --> 00:07:55,716
that that guy is great
at what he does and everything,
200
00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:58,236
but, nah,
it ain't me.
201
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,652
I know, bruh.
I know.
202
00:08:00,687 --> 00:08:02,067
Look, man,
I know you think
203
00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:03,759
you doin' the right thing
and all,
204
00:08:03,793 --> 00:08:05,554
but stay in your lane,
man.
205
00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:06,762
This ain't
your purpose.
206
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,802
And I sayeth
there ain't no Lord,
207
00:08:12,837 --> 00:08:14,735
so vengeance is mines.
208
00:08:14,770 --> 00:08:16,496
I don't care
what you sayeth.
209
00:08:18,256 --> 00:08:25,194
♪♪
210
00:08:25,228 --> 00:08:27,679
Man: Where it at? Where it at?!
Throw this stuff up in here!
211
00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:29,301
[ Clatter ]Man #2:
Look over there, man!
212
00:08:29,336 --> 00:08:32,132
♪♪
213
00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:33,651
Where's the drugs?
214
00:08:34,997 --> 00:08:36,170
Hurry up!
215
00:08:36,205 --> 00:08:38,310
[ Clatter continues ]
216
00:08:38,345 --> 00:08:40,002
[ Breathing heavily ]
217
00:08:40,036 --> 00:08:44,144
♪♪
218
00:08:44,178 --> 00:08:52,083
♪♪
219
00:08:52,117 --> 00:08:53,636
[ Siren wailing ]
220
00:08:53,671 --> 00:09:02,645
♪♪
221
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,613
[ Pounding on door ]
222
00:09:04,647 --> 00:09:09,859
♪♪
223
00:09:09,894 --> 00:09:15,727
♪♪
224
00:09:15,762 --> 00:09:18,281
You won't believe the shit
that just happened here.
225
00:09:18,316 --> 00:09:20,629
[ Police radio chatter ]
226
00:09:20,663 --> 00:09:22,803
♪♪
227
00:09:26,013 --> 00:09:31,709
♪♪
228
00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:33,676
[ Tires screech ]Woman: Oh, Lord, Jesus!
229
00:09:33,711 --> 00:09:35,160
[ Thud ]Unh!
230
00:09:35,195 --> 00:09:37,335
[ Car alarm blaring ]
231
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:42,374
♪♪
232
00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:45,757
[ Grunting ]
233
00:09:45,792 --> 00:09:48,691
"Jesus," my ass.
234
00:09:48,726 --> 00:09:50,382
[ Camera clicks ]What up, pimp?
235
00:09:50,417 --> 00:09:52,384
Where you get
your sunglasses at?
236
00:09:52,419 --> 00:09:55,215
I know
exactly who you are.
237
00:09:55,249 --> 00:09:57,873
Ms. Emma: [ Clicks tongue ]
Come on. That ain't real.
238
00:09:57,907 --> 00:10:00,047
This is real, Ms. Emma.
I took the picture.
239
00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:01,911
I saw this happen.
-Look, I told you.
240
00:10:01,946 --> 00:10:04,431
What probably happened is
that boy got ahold of some weed
241
00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:06,398
that was laced with some PCP
or some shit.
242
00:10:06,433 --> 00:10:08,228
You know that shit
make you feel superstrong
243
00:10:08,262 --> 00:10:10,264
and you can't feel no pain.
-I don't know, man.
244
00:10:10,299 --> 00:10:12,059
We know dudes
who are into hard drugs,
245
00:10:12,094 --> 00:10:13,785
and he doesn't seem like
that kind of guy.
246
00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:15,407
You don't believe in Jesus,
Ms. Emma?
247
00:10:15,442 --> 00:10:17,893
I only believe
in some money in my pocket
248
00:10:17,927 --> 00:10:19,722
and for something hard
in bed...
249
00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:21,068
to chew on.
250
00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:22,932
[ Crunches ] Mmm!
-Damn, woman!
251
00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:24,727
Would you please stop
talking about your sexual needs
252
00:10:24,762 --> 00:10:25,866
around people food?
253
00:10:25,901 --> 00:10:27,316
[ Chuckles ]
254
00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:29,732
Now, anyway, I will
agree with you on this --
255
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,838
this dude is not
the son of God.
256
00:10:31,872 --> 00:10:34,392
But what if he's a son
from another planet?
257
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,739
You mean like an alien?
Like E.T.?
258
00:10:36,774 --> 00:10:37,878
No!
259
00:10:37,913 --> 00:10:39,121
His fingers
are too short,
260
00:10:39,155 --> 00:10:40,467
and they don't light up
at the tip.
261
00:10:40,501 --> 00:10:43,988
I'm saying
this fake-ass Jesus
262
00:10:44,022 --> 00:10:46,749
might be Superman
in disguise.
263
00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:48,233
Superman?
264
00:10:48,268 --> 00:10:50,270
[ Laughs ]
265
00:10:50,304 --> 00:10:53,307
Okay, AmBro.
I'm gon' go with PCP.
266
00:10:55,309 --> 00:10:57,898
[ Muffled talking ]
267
00:10:57,933 --> 00:11:02,800
♪♪
268
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,111
Oh!
269
00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:05,837
Black Batman!
Look out!
270
00:11:05,872 --> 00:11:12,430
♪♪
271
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,259
[ Screams ]
272
00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:17,953
♪♪
273
00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:19,920
Holy nick of time,
Batman!
274
00:11:19,955 --> 00:11:21,922
I've come to save
your black ass!
275
00:11:21,957 --> 00:11:24,097
♪♪
276
00:11:24,131 --> 00:11:26,064
[ Cape whooshes ]
277
00:11:26,099 --> 00:11:28,411
♪♪
278
00:11:28,446 --> 00:11:29,792
[ Grunts ]
279
00:11:29,827 --> 00:11:39,802
♪♪
280
00:11:39,837 --> 00:11:41,839
♪♪
281
00:11:41,873 --> 00:11:43,461
[ Choking ]
282
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,325
♪♪
283
00:11:45,359 --> 00:11:50,123
[ Deep voice ]
Submit to the will
of your lord and master.
284
00:11:51,469 --> 00:11:53,954
Nooooooooo!
285
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:56,474
[ Dog barking,
horn blares in distance ]
286
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,168
[ Scatting ]
287
00:12:04,482 --> 00:12:06,208
Oh, Jesus!
288
00:12:06,242 --> 00:12:09,211
AmBro! Don't sneak up
on an old black man like that.
289
00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:10,764
What's wrong with you?
290
00:12:10,799 --> 00:12:13,284
Hey, I'm gonna need
to disappear for a while.
291
00:12:13,318 --> 00:12:14,768
What's wrong, AmBro?
292
00:12:14,803 --> 00:12:17,012
There are some things
happening -- crazy things.
293
00:12:17,046 --> 00:12:18,841
Like what, AmBro?
294
00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:20,222
Jesus.
295
00:12:20,256 --> 00:12:23,087
You know he's not
who he says he is, right?
296
00:12:23,121 --> 00:12:26,021
-Jesus isn't Jesus?
-No, of course not!
297
00:12:26,055 --> 00:12:28,195
You don't seriously believe
he's Jesus, do ya?
298
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:30,404
Yeah.
Who else can he be?
299
00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:31,785
I'm serious, Lloyd.
300
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:34,167
I've seen him do things --
crazy things.
301
00:12:34,201 --> 00:12:35,893
Yeah,
because he Jesus.
302
00:12:35,927 --> 00:12:37,342
I'm serious, man!
303
00:12:37,377 --> 00:12:38,550
I'm confused.
304
00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:41,899
Look at this.
305
00:12:41,933 --> 00:12:44,073
-Yeah, that's Jesus.
-Yeah.
306
00:12:44,108 --> 00:12:46,938
Don't you see what this is?
It's proof of aliens.
307
00:12:46,973 --> 00:12:48,837
[ Laughs ]
308
00:12:48,871 --> 00:12:50,942
You think
Jesus is an alien?
309
00:12:50,977 --> 00:12:52,357
Yes! From Krypton!
310
00:12:52,392 --> 00:12:55,050
[ Laughs ]
311
00:12:55,084 --> 00:12:56,879
I've heard a lot of shit
in my day...
312
00:12:56,914 --> 00:12:58,363
There's no other
explanation.
313
00:12:58,398 --> 00:12:59,502
Yes, it is!
314
00:12:59,537 --> 00:13:01,228
He's Jesus.
315
00:13:01,263 --> 00:13:02,885
Ooh! Goodness.
316
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,611
I saw him
lift a car, Lloyd.
317
00:13:04,645 --> 00:13:07,062
A car!
By himself!
318
00:13:07,096 --> 00:13:09,064
What kind of stuff
is that?
319
00:13:09,098 --> 00:13:10,065
I'm not crazy!
320
00:13:10,099 --> 00:13:11,929
-So?
-"So"?
321
00:13:11,963 --> 00:13:15,449
Someone with that kind of power
is too dangerous to live.
322
00:13:15,484 --> 00:13:17,072
Jesus isn't dangerous.
323
00:13:17,106 --> 00:13:20,144
He's just a meddling
goody-two-shoe, divine being
324
00:13:20,178 --> 00:13:23,112
who ruin lives
'cause he wanna heal everybody.
325
00:13:23,147 --> 00:13:24,562
Everybody don't wanna
be healed!
326
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,944
Okay, but what if he decides
to turn against us?
327
00:13:26,978 --> 00:13:29,084
What if he decides
to use that power for evil?
328
00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:32,259
If there's even just a 1% chance
of that happening,
329
00:13:32,294 --> 00:13:33,605
then we got to kill him!
330
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,401
-Kill Jesus?
-Yeah!
331
00:13:36,436 --> 00:13:39,404
You probably not the only person
who's had that brilliant idea.
332
00:13:39,439 --> 00:13:42,269
Your job is to keep
this building secure.
333
00:13:44,409 --> 00:13:46,446
I'm sorry, Lloyd.
334
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,586
Time to do
my own thing.
335
00:13:50,484 --> 00:13:52,624
Everybody know
it's you, AmBro.
336
00:13:52,659 --> 00:13:55,110
You got
responsibilities here!
337
00:13:55,144 --> 00:13:57,526
Wow. [ Chuckles ]
338
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,942
That's some sober shit
for me to say that time.
339
00:13:59,977 --> 00:14:02,082
"You got
some responsibilities here."
340
00:14:02,117 --> 00:14:03,981
"You got responsibility here."
341
00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:05,016
[ Chuckles ]
342
00:14:05,051 --> 00:14:07,122
[ Indistinct talking ]
343
00:14:07,156 --> 00:14:13,991
♪♪
344
00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:15,544
I can't wait anymore,
Jesus.
345
00:14:15,578 --> 00:14:18,892
Samuels: Yeah. This is clearly
the sign of a disturbed mind.
346
00:14:18,927 --> 00:14:21,136
Can't believe I got to
write a report on this.
347
00:14:22,689 --> 00:14:25,657
Dianne, look, I just need
a little more time.
348
00:14:25,692 --> 00:14:27,487
I promise I'm-a get it right.
I got it.
349
00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:29,558
[ Laughs ]
"More time"? No.
350
00:14:29,592 --> 00:14:31,560
The man is going to
kill somebody soon,
351
00:14:31,594 --> 00:14:33,631
and that's going to be
on me and you, huh?
352
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,564
If you can't stop him,
I'm gonna have to.
353
00:14:35,598 --> 00:14:37,117
Yo lo entiende
que hacer.
354
00:14:37,152 --> 00:14:38,636
He's a good dude.
355
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:40,500
He just didn't get
the psychological help
356
00:14:40,534 --> 00:14:42,157
he needed after the war.
357
00:14:42,191 --> 00:14:43,675
I mean,
his is the story
358
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:46,195
of so many underserved veterans
in this country.
359
00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:48,197
You know that, Dianne!
360
00:14:48,232 --> 00:14:50,544
I try my best to help out,
but it's like --
361
00:14:50,579 --> 00:14:52,236
it's like
he's scared of me.
362
00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:54,169
Dude don't even believe
I'm Jesus.
363
00:14:54,203 --> 00:14:57,068
[ Scoffs ] And who's he think
you are, huh? Superman?
364
00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:01,072
[ Hispanic accent ]
Superman.
365
00:15:02,729 --> 00:15:04,558
iPerfecto!
366
00:15:04,593 --> 00:15:06,112
¿Qué?[ Man groans ]
367
00:15:06,146 --> 00:15:08,355
Can we get a paramedic over here
for this guy?!
368
00:15:08,390 --> 00:15:09,943
[ Sighing ] Jesus.
369
00:15:09,978 --> 00:15:12,359
Next time,
bring your sister, man.
370
00:15:12,394 --> 00:15:14,396
You know I always give her
something extra.
371
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:16,087
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
372
00:15:16,122 --> 00:15:19,159
♪♪
373
00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:21,092
[ Gruff voice ]
♪ Boonie
374
00:15:21,748 --> 00:15:23,094
AmBro?
375
00:15:23,129 --> 00:15:24,475
AmBro, is that you?
376
00:15:24,509 --> 00:15:26,339
No. It's not.
377
00:15:26,373 --> 00:15:28,203
I don't know
who you're talking about.
378
00:15:28,237 --> 00:15:30,067
Man,
it's obviously you.
379
00:15:30,101 --> 00:15:32,552
Hey, man, don't be
coming over here with
that crazy, man.
380
00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:35,037
I'm just selling my weed.
I ain't messing with nobody.
381
00:15:35,072 --> 00:15:37,729
Man, don't come over here
fucking with me.
382
00:15:37,764 --> 00:15:39,593
It's not the weed,
Boonie.
383
00:15:39,628 --> 00:15:41,009
It's him.
384
00:15:42,596 --> 00:15:44,046
You think I'm playin'.[ Shotgun cocks ]
385
00:15:44,081 --> 00:15:45,565
Look, you better
get your ass away from me
386
00:15:45,599 --> 00:15:47,429
'fore I shoot
your crazy ass!
387
00:15:47,463 --> 00:15:50,570
You know the truth.
He's got to be stopped, Boonie.
388
00:15:50,604 --> 00:15:52,952
Nigga, what is
you talkin' about?
389
00:15:54,229 --> 00:15:55,437
Nigga, what the --
390
00:15:55,471 --> 00:15:57,059
[ Gags ]
391
00:15:57,094 --> 00:15:59,751
Now, if I'm right,
392
00:15:59,786 --> 00:16:04,273
your savior should be here
right about...
393
00:16:04,308 --> 00:16:05,757
Black Jesus: AmBro!
394
00:16:05,792 --> 00:16:08,657
Jesus! Get this crazy nigga
up off me!
395
00:16:08,691 --> 00:16:10,279
Boonie,
be quiet, man.
396
00:16:10,314 --> 00:16:13,248
AmBro, I'm not an alien
from outer space, man.
397
00:16:13,282 --> 00:16:14,456
It's your boy!
398
00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:17,148
I know what --
[ Coughs ]
399
00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:19,771
[ Normal voice ]
I know what I saw!
400
00:16:19,806 --> 00:16:23,154
They can call me crazy
all they want,
401
00:16:23,189 --> 00:16:24,431
but I know what I saw!
402
00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:25,674
I'm not crazy!
403
00:16:25,708 --> 00:16:28,125
Crazy people
always say that, AmBro.
404
00:16:28,159 --> 00:16:30,127
[ Grunts ]
-Boonie, stop! Please!
405
00:16:30,161 --> 00:16:33,440
AmBro, AmBro, bud.
You're not crazy, dawg.
406
00:16:33,475 --> 00:16:36,616
I'm Jesus Christ,
the son of God.
407
00:16:36,650 --> 00:16:38,273
You're no God.
408
00:16:38,307 --> 00:16:41,586
You're just a Negro
with silky hair from Krypton!
409
00:16:41,621 --> 00:16:43,174
And this...
410
00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:47,351
...a little thing
I invented in my laboratory,
411
00:16:47,385 --> 00:16:48,697
called the Krypto-Star.
412
00:16:48,731 --> 00:16:50,595
Hey, this nigga
got a laboratory?
413
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:53,184
Real stars
dipped in kryptonite.
414
00:16:53,219 --> 00:16:55,152
Where do niggas
get kryptonite from?
415
00:16:55,186 --> 00:16:58,189
From a website called
This Is Real Kryptonite.
416
00:16:58,224 --> 00:16:59,501
Of course.
417
00:16:59,535 --> 00:17:02,331
This thing is guaranteed
to seal your fate.
418
00:17:02,366 --> 00:17:04,437
Prepare to die,
Superman!
419
00:17:04,471 --> 00:17:08,130
♪♪
420
00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:09,511
[ Slo-mo whooshing ]
421
00:17:09,545 --> 00:17:12,790
[ Slo-mo grunting ]
422
00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,482
♪♪
423
00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:17,484
[ Shouts ]
424
00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:21,143
Hey! Fuck him up,
Jesus!
425
00:17:21,178 --> 00:17:24,077
Come on, man!
Give him that holy beatdown!
426
00:17:24,112 --> 00:17:26,390
Kick him with
that hard-ass foot, Jesus!
427
00:17:26,424 --> 00:17:27,805
Toss his salad,
Jesus!
428
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,531
[ Straining ]
Get your little ass off me!
429
00:17:29,565 --> 00:17:31,326
[ Screams ]
430
00:17:34,225 --> 00:17:36,503
[ Angelic singing ]
431
00:17:36,538 --> 00:17:39,679
♪♪
432
00:17:39,713 --> 00:17:41,474
I knew it.
433
00:17:41,508 --> 00:17:42,682
I knew it!
434
00:17:42,716 --> 00:17:47,307
[ Deep voice ]
AmBro, you are right.
435
00:17:47,342 --> 00:17:49,482
I am...
436
00:17:49,516 --> 00:17:51,518
Black Superman.
437
00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:55,522
Jesus Christ is
my mild-mannered alter-ego.
438
00:17:55,557 --> 00:17:59,664
I mean no harm
to the people of Earth.
439
00:17:59,699 --> 00:18:03,496
♪♪
440
00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:04,600
I knew it.
441
00:18:04,635 --> 00:18:06,533
I knew I wasn't crazy.
442
00:18:06,568 --> 00:18:09,329
So, you see,
we on the same side.
443
00:18:09,364 --> 00:18:11,504
We all got to have
our secret identities.
444
00:18:11,538 --> 00:18:13,885
I knew it. Wow!
445
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,578
O-Okay. Okay.
I'm just glad I'm not crazy.
446
00:18:16,612 --> 00:18:19,684
No, bruh, you not crazy,
but you do need some help.
447
00:18:19,719 --> 00:18:21,238
You been through
a whole lot, AmBro,
448
00:18:21,272 --> 00:18:23,412
but right now, I'm gonna need
the Compton Crusader
449
00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:24,896
to disappear
for a little while --
450
00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:26,691
you know,
'til this thing blows over.
451
00:18:26,726 --> 00:18:28,935
You feel me?
-Got it.
452
00:18:28,969 --> 00:18:31,696
Yo, but when the
Compton Crusader comes back,
453
00:18:31,731 --> 00:18:33,319
we need to team up.
454
00:18:33,353 --> 00:18:35,562
We could be like
the 'hood Justice League, man.
455
00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:37,150
We'll run this shit.
456
00:18:37,185 --> 00:18:38,772
But remember
those secret identities.
Shh!
457
00:18:38,807 --> 00:18:40,912
This spot is piping-hot
right now, man,
458
00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:43,743
so we got to lay low
while you go get
some super-therapy.
459
00:18:43,777 --> 00:18:46,194
Got it, got it --
lay low, super-therapy.
460
00:18:46,228 --> 00:18:47,402
All right.
461
00:18:47,436 --> 00:18:49,473
Then we send
our message.
462
00:18:49,507 --> 00:18:51,613
[ Laughs ]
I like the way you think!
463
00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:53,580
♪♪
464
00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:55,375
[ Sighs ]
465
00:18:55,410 --> 00:18:56,790
[ Gruff voice ]
Sorry, Boonie.
466
00:18:56,825 --> 00:18:59,310
♪♪
467
00:18:59,345 --> 00:19:01,278
Crusader -- out.
468
00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:05,247
Hey, so, uh, should I call you
"Jesus" or "Superman"?
469
00:19:05,282 --> 00:19:06,662
[ Chuckling ]
Come on, man.
470
00:19:06,697 --> 00:19:08,837
Let's get back on this corner
and peddle this weed
471
00:19:08,871 --> 00:19:10,735
'fore your mama
kick your ass.
472
00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:12,737
[ Chuckling ]
473
00:19:12,772 --> 00:19:20,745
♪♪
474
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:28,719
♪♪
475
00:19:28,753 --> 00:19:36,727
♪♪
476
00:19:36,761 --> 00:19:44,769
♪♪
32998
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