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[ Man singing in Latin ]
2
00:00:07,317 --> 00:00:16,119
♪♪
3
00:00:16,154 --> 00:00:24,783
♪♪
4
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,233
[ Italian accent ]
Cardinal Ciabatti,
5
00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:27,855
are we sure this footage
isn't doctored?
6
00:00:27,889 --> 00:00:29,719
Ciabatti:
Not as far as we know.
7
00:00:29,753 --> 00:00:32,273
The real issue here
is that there is
8
00:00:32,308 --> 00:00:36,105
a very small yet scattered
international following
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00:00:36,139 --> 00:00:38,314
of a man who is
interpreted to be
10
00:00:38,348 --> 00:00:40,799
the Second Coming
of Jesus Christ.
11
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,595
They call him Black Jesus.
12
00:00:44,596 --> 00:00:47,599
And he has a very strong
social media presence.
13
00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:49,152
[ Bell rings ]
14
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[ Italian accent]
Any confirmed miracles?
15
00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:54,088
No, and that's why
you are here, gentlemen.
16
00:00:54,123 --> 00:00:56,159
You must find him.
Bring him here
17
00:00:56,194 --> 00:00:58,437
so that he can be
thoroughly examined,
18
00:00:58,472 --> 00:00:59,714
and possibly exterminated.
19
00:00:59,749 --> 00:01:01,302
Exterminated?
20
00:01:01,337 --> 00:01:03,339
But what if
he's really --
21
00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:04,409
Jesus Christ?
22
00:01:04,443 --> 00:01:07,619
Returned as a Black man
in an American ghetto?
23
00:01:07,653 --> 00:01:09,241
Right.
24
00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:12,313
If we ignore this,
we do it at our own peril.
25
00:01:12,348 --> 00:01:15,454
So you must
bring him to Rome
26
00:01:15,489 --> 00:01:17,491
so that we can
deal with him properly.
27
00:01:17,525 --> 00:01:19,182
Where is he?
28
00:01:19,217 --> 00:01:21,771
In a section of Los Angeles.
29
00:01:21,805 --> 00:01:23,635
A place called Compton.
30
00:01:23,669 --> 00:01:24,912
Compton?
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00:01:24,946 --> 00:01:25,947
Yes.
32
00:01:25,982 --> 00:01:29,158
I understand that Compton
is Hell-adjacent.
33
00:01:30,642 --> 00:01:32,126
[ Bottle clinks ]
34
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Would you care for
the blood of Christ?
35
00:01:34,611 --> 00:01:37,683
♪ Amen
36
00:01:37,718 --> 00:01:45,691
♪♪
37
00:01:45,726 --> 00:01:53,699
♪♪
38
00:01:53,734 --> 00:01:58,463
[ Gulls crying ]
39
00:01:58,497 --> 00:02:00,499
Damn, Boon.
40
00:02:00,534 --> 00:02:02,294
Where your mom get all this
knock-off merchandise from?
41
00:02:02,329 --> 00:02:03,675
God only knows,
Jesus.
42
00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:06,436
I don't think he does.[ Dogs bark in distance ]
43
00:02:06,471 --> 00:02:09,232
Matter of fact,
I know Pops don't have a clue
44
00:02:09,267 --> 00:02:11,821
as to where you get
counterfeit condoms from.
45
00:02:11,855 --> 00:02:13,305
Hey, man,
you gonna mess around
46
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:14,962
and have some major
baby-mama drama with these.
47
00:02:14,996 --> 00:02:16,688
Heh.
Who you tellin'?
48
00:02:16,722 --> 00:02:21,486
Anyway, what's your virgin ass
know about counterfeit condoms?
49
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,833
And all this shit ain't fake --
some of it is stolen.
50
00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:25,524
Which means
it's legit,
51
00:02:25,559 --> 00:02:27,837
just in an il-legit
sort of way.
52
00:02:27,871 --> 00:02:29,873
Like these phones.
You know, you...
53
00:02:29,908 --> 00:02:31,185
You know,
folks gonna get
54
00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:33,256
one phone call
before the activation lock
55
00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:35,465
turn those into some
pretty-ass paperweights.
56
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:37,571
[ Laughs ]
57
00:02:37,605 --> 00:02:39,400
What -- What's good
in the bag, Lloyd?
58
00:02:39,435 --> 00:02:40,125
Nothin'.
59
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,713
And you know why.
60
00:02:41,747 --> 00:02:43,922
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
61
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,751
Damn right, here we go.
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00:02:45,786 --> 00:02:47,926
Because
of some unwanted miracle,
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00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,515
I can't enjoy
my favorite pastime
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00:02:50,549 --> 00:02:53,449
of getting drunk off
my motherfucking ass.
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00:02:53,483 --> 00:02:55,416
Have a fucked day,
gentlemen.
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00:02:58,902 --> 00:03:00,766
Oh, lookit, Jesus!
67
00:03:00,801 --> 00:03:02,734
Look, Jesus.
68
00:03:02,768 --> 00:03:05,840
Darby, Darby...
69
00:03:05,875 --> 00:03:09,913
[ Up-beat music plays ]
70
00:03:09,948 --> 00:03:10,845
I know this place!Yeah?
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00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,295
It's famous.
72
00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:13,779
Famous? For what?
Being a shit hole?
73
00:03:13,814 --> 00:03:15,367
No.
74
00:03:15,402 --> 00:03:17,749
I-It's in this video game
my nephew plays.
75
00:03:17,783 --> 00:03:19,371
Ah.
"Grand Theft Auto."
76
00:03:19,406 --> 00:03:21,339
This is just like
the part of the game
77
00:03:21,373 --> 00:03:23,548
where the ghetto is,
and where the poor Blacks live.
78
00:03:23,582 --> 00:03:24,411
[ Laughs ] Ahh.
79
00:03:24,445 --> 00:03:26,275
It's where all
the bad shit happens.
80
00:03:26,309 --> 00:03:27,966
Huh.
Bad shit like what?
81
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,588
Bad shit like this,
mother...
82
00:03:29,623 --> 00:03:30,934
Get your bitch ass out the car.[ Screaming ]
83
00:03:30,969 --> 00:03:32,453
Don't --
Ow!
84
00:03:32,488 --> 00:03:33,937
Ah[ Horn blares ]
85
00:03:33,972 --> 00:03:34,904
Santino:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
86
00:03:34,938 --> 00:03:36,561
Oh, no, don't --[ Indistinct shouting ]
87
00:03:36,595 --> 00:03:38,425
You got my car,
but you won't get Jesus!
88
00:03:38,459 --> 00:03:39,943
[ Blows landing ]Santino: Oh, get the Jesus!
89
00:03:39,978 --> 00:03:41,497
Renzo, get Jesus!Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
90
00:03:41,531 --> 00:03:42,739
Aaah!
91
00:03:42,774 --> 00:03:44,258
[ Indistinct shouting ]
92
00:03:44,293 --> 00:03:45,915
I got the Gesu Cristo!It's the Jesus!
93
00:03:45,949 --> 00:03:47,710
[ Yelling, blows landing ]
94
00:03:47,744 --> 00:03:49,781
Oh, yeah!
95
00:03:49,815 --> 00:03:51,852
I got my Jesus, nigga!
96
00:03:53,785 --> 00:03:55,580
[ Horn honks ]
97
00:03:55,614 --> 00:03:58,652
And welcome back to
the Regal Seasons, gentlemen.
98
00:03:58,686 --> 00:04:00,792
Have a great afternoon.
99
00:04:00,826 --> 00:04:02,794
None of my business.
100
00:04:02,828 --> 00:04:05,900
Ciabatti:
You got robbed three fucking
hours after you landed?
101
00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:07,592
Compton is crazy.
102
00:04:07,626 --> 00:04:10,595
Can't we just pray until he
comes to Beverly Hills?
103
00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:14,461
Just get the Black
[snarls] Jesus!
104
00:04:18,637 --> 00:04:20,915
[ Snoring ]
105
00:04:20,950 --> 00:04:23,297
[ Slams ]
106
00:04:23,332 --> 00:04:25,437
Damn, Miss Emma.
What the hell?
107
00:04:25,472 --> 00:04:27,474
Hell is where
y'all should go
108
00:04:27,508 --> 00:04:30,097
for selling these fake-ass
feminine-hygiene products.
109
00:04:30,131 --> 00:04:31,616
These tampons
that you sold me
110
00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,100
couldn't soak up the blood
from a paper cut,
111
00:04:33,134 --> 00:04:34,826
much less my period.
112
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:35,861
My flow ain't no joke.
113
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,000
I'ma need a refund.
114
00:04:37,035 --> 00:04:39,451
Damn, Miss Emma.
T-M-I!
115
00:04:39,486 --> 00:04:42,040
And, anyway,
ain't no refund.
116
00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:45,630
Well, then, I'ma trade for
one of these fake-ass Bibles.
117
00:04:45,664 --> 00:04:46,493
Nah, Miss Emma.
118
00:04:46,527 --> 00:04:49,012
See, these Bibles,
they 100% legit.
119
00:04:49,047 --> 00:04:52,464
From Genesis to Revelations,
all accounted for and accurate.
120
00:04:52,499 --> 00:04:54,086
Trust me.Mm-hmm.
121
00:04:54,121 --> 00:04:57,952
Is that why it says "Holly
Bible" instead of "Holy Bible"?
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00:04:57,987 --> 00:05:05,408
♪♪
123
00:05:05,443 --> 00:05:07,065
Clancy, I don't like
the look of these white dudes
124
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,618
clocking us
from down the block.
125
00:05:08,653 --> 00:05:12,657
You're right.
126
00:05:12,691 --> 00:05:18,352
Prepare to discharge
the artillery.
127
00:05:18,387 --> 00:05:20,009
Prepared.
128
00:05:20,043 --> 00:05:22,356
Fire!Fire!
129
00:05:22,391 --> 00:05:23,495
[ Missile charges, launches ]
130
00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:26,498
Aaah!
131
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:27,913
[ Coughs ]
132
00:05:27,948 --> 00:05:30,985
[ Santino and Renzo coughing ][ Dog barking ]
133
00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:35,645
[ Guns cocking ]
134
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,164
Jesus Christ.
135
00:05:37,198 --> 00:05:40,892
Jesus ain't here to save you
Mafia thugs.
136
00:05:40,926 --> 00:05:41,927
And drop
your weapons.
137
00:05:41,962 --> 00:05:43,377
We don't have
any weapons.
138
00:05:43,412 --> 00:05:46,138
Only one way to prove it, huh?
Strip.
139
00:05:49,694 --> 00:05:53,594
Grazie.
140
00:05:53,629 --> 00:05:56,425
Hold on. Welcome back to
the Regal Seasons, gentlemen.
141
00:05:56,459 --> 00:05:58,979
Legs looking good.
I need a room key from you.
142
00:05:59,013 --> 00:06:00,705
Welcome back
to the Regal Seasons.
143
00:06:00,739 --> 00:06:03,846
Ciabatti: What the hell
is wrong with you putzes?
144
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,088
Have you no cajones?
145
00:06:05,123 --> 00:06:06,607
No testicolis?
146
00:06:06,642 --> 00:06:07,919
No balls?
147
00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:09,438
In fact, show me your balls.
148
00:06:09,472 --> 00:06:13,580
Show me what you morons think
are balls.
149
00:06:13,614 --> 00:06:14,719
Show them.
150
00:06:14,753 --> 00:06:15,754
I want to see them.
151
00:06:15,789 --> 00:06:16,962
All four of them.
152
00:06:16,997 --> 00:06:19,620
Right now!
153
00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:21,726
Oh, my Lord.
154
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,866
You call those balls?
155
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,800
These are balls!
156
00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:27,904
Uh...
157
00:06:27,939 --> 00:06:29,630
Huh.
158
00:06:29,665 --> 00:06:31,667
Quite substantial,
Your Grace.
159
00:06:31,701 --> 00:06:33,979
You got to man
the fuck up,
160
00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:41,677
and you need to go and find
the Black [yells] Jesus!
161
00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:44,473
[ Hip-hop music plays ]
162
00:06:49,892 --> 00:07:01,248
[ Santino and Renzo conversing
in Italian ]
163
00:07:01,282 --> 00:07:02,939
Santino:
Hey, buddy!
164
00:07:02,974 --> 00:07:04,631
We're looking for a Black guy.
165
00:07:04,665 --> 00:07:08,773
So was Jeffrey Dahmer.
You weirdos kiss my ass.
166
00:07:08,807 --> 00:07:10,188
Wait, no, no!
We're not assholes.
167
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:11,810
We're --
We're not weirdos, either.
168
00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:13,709
We're looking for the --
the Black Jesus.
169
00:07:13,743 --> 00:07:14,779
The Black Jesus, yes.
170
00:07:14,813 --> 00:07:17,954
And we're willing to pay
to find him.
171
00:07:17,989 --> 00:07:20,923
Pay?
Sure.
172
00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:22,925
Jesus? Yeah.
173
00:07:22,959 --> 00:07:24,616
Jesus is an asshole.
174
00:07:24,651 --> 00:07:25,548
I see.
175
00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:29,034
Uh, does this asshole
perform miracles?
176
00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:30,519
Are you kidding?
177
00:07:30,553 --> 00:07:32,521
It's because of
one of his miracles
178
00:07:32,555 --> 00:07:34,281
that I'm in this fucked
up condition today.
179
00:07:34,315 --> 00:07:35,869
He made you poor?
180
00:07:35,903 --> 00:07:37,629
And Black?
181
00:07:37,664 --> 00:07:38,388
Worse.
182
00:07:38,423 --> 00:07:42,841
The motherfucker
made me sober.
183
00:07:42,876 --> 00:07:44,671
Nice rings.
Heh, heh.
184
00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:47,018
You guys are from the Vatican!
185
00:07:47,052 --> 00:07:48,191
No, no.
No, no.
186
00:07:48,226 --> 00:07:49,814
Like the Pope's secret police.
187
00:07:49,848 --> 00:07:50,849
No, no.
No.
188
00:07:50,884 --> 00:07:52,713
Bullshit.
189
00:07:52,748 --> 00:07:55,647
Ever since that meddling-ass
Jesus made me sober,
190
00:07:55,682 --> 00:07:57,131
I can remember
a whole bunch of shit
191
00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:58,305
I couldn't remember before.
192
00:07:58,339 --> 00:08:00,687
I mean,
just like those rings.
193
00:08:00,721 --> 00:08:03,034
Listen, maybe we can
help each other.
194
00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:04,760
You want Black Jesus.
195
00:08:04,794 --> 00:08:07,521
I want to get rid of this
piece-of-shit-ass miracle.
196
00:08:07,556 --> 00:08:08,522
So?
197
00:08:08,557 --> 00:08:12,146
So, I'll show you
how to get to Black Jesus.
198
00:08:12,181 --> 00:08:14,908
You have the Pope
talk to God
199
00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:18,877
to reverse this
unwanted curse of sobriety.
200
00:08:18,912 --> 00:08:20,085
Uh...
Deal.
201
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,673
Deal?
Mm.
202
00:08:21,708 --> 00:08:23,848
I'ma take you straight
to that motherfucker.
203
00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:25,021
Yeah!
[ Chuckles ]
204
00:08:25,056 --> 00:08:26,057
And thanks, Judas.
205
00:08:26,091 --> 00:08:27,576
The name is Lloyd,
nigga.
206
00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:29,612
Uh, do you prefer Lloyd
or Mister Nigga?
207
00:08:29,647 --> 00:08:32,270
Do you prefer your ball sack
up by your neck?
208
00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:33,996
If you do,
the name is "Mr. Nigga."
209
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:36,101
If not, Lloyd.
210
00:08:36,136 --> 00:08:38,000
Hi, Lloyd.Hi, Lloyd.
211
00:08:38,034 --> 00:08:43,246
♪♪
212
00:08:43,281 --> 00:08:47,216
Ms. Tudi, Ms. Tudi,
Ms. Tudi.
213
00:08:48,286 --> 00:08:50,046
Later, bitch.
214
00:08:50,081 --> 00:08:54,568
How many times I told Tudi
to keep them punk-ass niggas
215
00:08:54,603 --> 00:08:57,709
off my corner
slanging that silly-ass shit?
216
00:08:57,744 --> 00:08:59,228
How many times?Too many times.
217
00:08:59,262 --> 00:09:00,367
How many times?Too many times!
218
00:09:00,401 --> 00:09:03,266
That's right.
A whole lotta damn times.
219
00:09:03,301 --> 00:09:05,959
Now I got to handle it.
220
00:09:05,993 --> 00:09:07,754
[ Guns cock ]
221
00:09:10,619 --> 00:09:12,137
Hold up.
222
00:09:12,172 --> 00:09:14,070
Wait a minute.
223
00:09:14,105 --> 00:09:16,314
Who these motherfuckers?
224
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,040
[ Car doors close ]
225
00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:21,284
That bitch Tudi.
226
00:09:21,319 --> 00:09:27,049
She done put some real
Mafioso muscle on her payroll.
227
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:29,845
We got to re-think this.
228
00:09:29,879 --> 00:09:33,849
Come back on these fools
with some real firepower.
229
00:09:33,883 --> 00:09:35,782
[ Engine revs ]
230
00:09:38,785 --> 00:09:40,234
Hey, it's right there --
[ Groans ]
231
00:09:40,269 --> 00:09:41,684
Get up.Up, up.
232
00:09:41,719 --> 00:09:43,065
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
233
00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:44,791
Let's go.
234
00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:47,690
Santino.
Come on.I'm tired of this shit.
235
00:09:52,143 --> 00:09:53,420
But we have reservations.
236
00:09:53,454 --> 00:09:55,802
We just want to
go to Disneyland.
237
00:09:55,836 --> 00:09:57,044
Sorry, amigos.
238
00:09:57,079 --> 00:09:58,632
But without proof
of citizenship,
239
00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:00,979
I'm afraid it's not
"a small world after all."
240
00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:02,325
He's adorable.
241
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:03,637
Welcome back,
gentlemen.
242
00:10:03,672 --> 00:10:04,811
He with you?
243
00:10:04,845 --> 00:10:08,953
Great.
Slide him in.
244
00:10:08,987 --> 00:10:11,127
Hotel guests.
245
00:10:11,162 --> 00:10:13,060
What the hell you mean
they got Jesus?
246
00:10:13,095 --> 00:10:15,166
And hit me
over the head.
247
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,892
But they got Jesus?
248
00:10:16,926 --> 00:10:19,964
I think I'm about to have
a concussion or some shit.
249
00:10:19,998 --> 00:10:22,725
Baby...
250
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,865
them bastards got Jesus.
251
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,349
Ow.
252
00:10:26,384 --> 00:10:28,386
[ Whining ]
I don't feel good!
253
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,112
The whole room is spinning!
254
00:10:30,146 --> 00:10:32,079
I can't focus good.
255
00:10:32,114 --> 00:10:33,425
You still got
that Obamacare?
256
00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:35,393
Jesus is cheaper
than Obamacare, nigga.
257
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,084
Plus, he was
my best salesman.
258
00:10:37,119 --> 00:10:39,052
Mama, you don't
understand.
259
00:10:39,086 --> 00:10:40,985
These was some
real Mafia dudes.
260
00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:44,333
Man, they got out the car
with them Italian accents,
261
00:10:44,367 --> 00:10:47,267
that olive-complected-
but-still-white-guy skin,
262
00:10:47,301 --> 00:10:49,683
them cheap-looking suits
that cost a fortune,
263
00:10:49,718 --> 00:10:50,788
the whole nine.
264
00:10:50,822 --> 00:10:54,861
In fact, that dude hit me
with a nine, I think.
265
00:10:54,895 --> 00:10:57,898
What you just said right there
ain't a disadvantage.
266
00:10:57,933 --> 00:11:00,867
All it mean is them niggas
ain't gonna be hard to find.
267
00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:04,042
What, two white boys driving
an Impala in our neighborhood?
268
00:11:04,077 --> 00:11:05,734
Please.
Come on.
269
00:11:05,768 --> 00:11:06,907
Grab my bag.
270
00:11:06,942 --> 00:11:08,391
[ Gun cocks ]Come on!
271
00:11:11,809 --> 00:11:14,225
Ciabatti: Finally,
you have successfully
272
00:11:14,259 --> 00:11:17,469
apprehended
the so-called Black Jesus.
273
00:11:17,504 --> 00:11:19,713
So-called
because it's so true.
274
00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:20,610
If you don't
knock it off
275
00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:21,991
with all the disbelief,
Cardinal...
276
00:11:22,026 --> 00:11:23,475
Let me live.
277
00:11:23,510 --> 00:11:25,443
If you are
the real Jesus,
278
00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:28,066
then why don't you
put an end to all this
279
00:11:28,101 --> 00:11:32,726
and just make yourself magically
disappear up outta here?
280
00:11:32,761 --> 00:11:35,936
For the same reason I didn't
just magically disappear
281
00:11:35,971 --> 00:11:37,904
when they had my Black ass
nailed to that cross.
282
00:11:37,938 --> 00:11:40,009
You know wouldn't nobody
would have received
283
00:11:40,044 --> 00:11:42,115
none of God's love or the spiritual enlightenment,
284
00:11:42,149 --> 00:11:43,426
man, so thank me later,
pimp.
285
00:11:43,461 --> 00:11:45,532
I mean,
Pops always had a plan.
286
00:11:45,566 --> 00:11:46,533
Just like now.
287
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:48,224
Achoo!
288
00:11:48,259 --> 00:11:49,467
Ahh.
289
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,227
Scusate.[ Heavenly music plays ]
290
00:11:51,262 --> 00:11:52,297
Bless you, pimp.
291
00:11:52,332 --> 00:11:55,404
Demon magic!
Get him!
292
00:11:55,438 --> 00:11:56,854
Aah!
293
00:11:56,888 --> 00:11:59,891
You're not getting away
from me, Jesus!
294
00:11:59,926 --> 00:12:01,928
[ Laughs ]
Hey, you guys are friends.
295
00:12:01,962 --> 00:12:05,897
You can stop whuppin'
each other's asses now.
296
00:12:05,932 --> 00:12:07,554
[ Laughs ]
297
00:12:07,588 --> 00:12:10,419
♪♪
298
00:12:10,453 --> 00:12:12,110
Ohh...
299
00:12:12,145 --> 00:12:14,112
Mm, mm, mm!
300
00:12:14,147 --> 00:12:17,115
Them white
Vatican bastards lied!
301
00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:19,014
This shit don't work!
302
00:12:19,048 --> 00:12:21,464
A whole case of Darby
and the only thing got a buzz
303
00:12:21,499 --> 00:12:23,812
is my dick
from pissin' too much.
304
00:12:23,846 --> 00:12:26,228
Oh, man!
305
00:12:26,262 --> 00:12:30,266
[ Bottles clinking ]
306
00:12:30,301 --> 00:12:32,337
[ Glass shatters ]
307
00:12:32,372 --> 00:12:34,443
Damn you,
miracles from Heaven!
308
00:12:34,477 --> 00:12:36,514
Damn you!
309
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:39,275
I don't care
what old-world crime family
310
00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:41,519
Ms. Tudi got
them white boys from.
311
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,314
I bow down to no male.
312
00:12:43,348 --> 00:12:45,281
That's right. We don't take
nothing from no man.
313
00:12:45,316 --> 00:12:47,042
Hey, hey.
Ask them.
314
00:12:47,076 --> 00:12:50,355
Hey! You kids see some
mob-looking white dudes?
315
00:12:52,047 --> 00:12:54,290
Oojah!
316
00:12:54,325 --> 00:12:56,120
[ Boy grunts ]
317
00:12:56,154 --> 00:12:57,500
[ Boy groaning ]
318
00:12:57,535 --> 00:12:59,848
Ms. Tudi: Hey.
Hey, kids!
319
00:12:59,882 --> 00:13:03,023
Y'all seen some mob-looking
white dudes pass by here?
320
00:13:03,058 --> 00:13:06,820
♪♪
321
00:13:08,166 --> 00:13:10,824
Clancy: I can't believe it,
Ambro. It's right here.
322
00:13:15,864 --> 00:13:16,726
You see this?
323
00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:19,143
This shows a breach
of our security.
324
00:13:19,177 --> 00:13:21,076
Who would do something
like this?
325
00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:25,390
Some Commie-gook, neo-Nazi,
border-crossing, sand-nigga,
326
00:13:25,425 --> 00:13:28,359
white-honky, hood-rat,
gender-bending,
327
00:13:28,393 --> 00:13:31,534
Millennial hipster, metrosexual,
feminazi, libtard,
328
00:13:31,569 --> 00:13:33,536
rainbow-flag-wearing
bastard.
329
00:13:33,571 --> 00:13:36,022
Clancy,
who don't you hate?
330
00:13:36,056 --> 00:13:38,852
Michelle Obama.
331
00:13:38,887 --> 00:13:40,060
Lloyd!
332
00:13:40,095 --> 00:13:41,510
More Darby, I see.
333
00:13:41,544 --> 00:13:42,891
Hell no.
334
00:13:42,925 --> 00:13:45,376
I got breath mints
and some Alabama Tea.
335
00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:46,584
Only thing calm me down.
336
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,551
Well, this gon'
get your blood up.
337
00:13:48,586 --> 00:13:49,690
You see this?
338
00:13:49,725 --> 00:13:52,866
Some damn punks done threw
they damn Darby bottles
339
00:13:52,901 --> 00:13:53,936
all over the complex.
340
00:13:53,971 --> 00:13:55,041
Where's the respect?!
341
00:13:55,075 --> 00:13:56,663
Uh, uh, uh...
342
00:13:56,697 --> 00:13:57,595
I agree with you.
343
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,562
Who the hell would do
something like that?
344
00:13:59,597 --> 00:14:02,048
Some Commie-gook, neo-Nazi,
border-crossing, sa--
345
00:14:02,082 --> 00:14:03,946
Ah, ah, ah.
346
00:14:03,981 --> 00:14:06,190
Probably them mob dudes that we
stripped and sent away earlier.
347
00:14:06,224 --> 00:14:08,261
Yeah, I had
a run-in with them.
348
00:14:08,295 --> 00:14:09,572
Mean hombres.
349
00:14:09,607 --> 00:14:11,609
They told some lies,
made some promises,
350
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:13,576
made me take them
to Jesus.
351
00:14:13,611 --> 00:14:17,166
What?What?
352
00:14:17,201 --> 00:14:19,410
Yo, they probably realized
dude got super powers
353
00:14:19,444 --> 00:14:22,551
from another planet and want to
use him as a weapon for evil.
354
00:14:22,585 --> 00:14:24,415
Ohh.And if that's the case,
355
00:14:24,449 --> 00:14:26,589
[Gun cocks]they need to be dealt with.
356
00:14:26,624 --> 00:14:28,108
They need to be
dealt with.
357
00:14:28,143 --> 00:14:29,558
You mean "dealt with" like
critically injured?
358
00:14:29,592 --> 00:14:30,939
[Giggling] Yeah.
359
00:14:30,973 --> 00:14:33,113
Well, if that's the case,
I agree with you.
360
00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:35,598
[ Brakes screech ]
361
00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:36,945
'Scuse me!
362
00:14:36,979 --> 00:14:39,326
Have you seen any mob-looking
white dudes?
363
00:14:39,361 --> 00:14:42,502
Any mob-lookin' white dudes?
364
00:14:42,536 --> 00:14:43,986
Goddamn
American youth.
365
00:14:44,021 --> 00:14:45,712
Look at you,
facedown in the gutter.
366
00:14:45,746 --> 00:14:49,060
Making me jealous.
Here's a dollar.
367
00:14:49,095 --> 00:14:50,441
[ Chuckles ]
368
00:14:50,475 --> 00:14:51,925
According to
everybody we ask,
369
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,134
them white dudes
staying up in here.
370
00:14:54,169 --> 00:14:57,344
Excuse me, ladies --
and I use the term loosely --
371
00:14:57,379 --> 00:14:58,656
are you staying with us?
372
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,935
No.
And neither are your nuts.
373
00:15:01,970 --> 00:15:03,281
[ Groans ]
374
00:15:03,316 --> 00:15:05,594
Namaste on that,
motherfucker.
375
00:15:05,628 --> 00:15:07,630
♪♪
376
00:15:07,665 --> 00:15:09,632
When we get
to the desert airfield,
377
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:11,496
there should be
a private plane
378
00:15:11,531 --> 00:15:13,740
to transport us
and the Demon Black Jesus
379
00:15:13,774 --> 00:15:16,294
back to Rome.
380
00:15:16,329 --> 00:15:19,194
And you,
no funny business.
381
00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:20,989
Capisce?
382
00:15:22,266 --> 00:15:25,959
Man, I was waiting on you
to say that shit! "Capisce."
383
00:15:25,994 --> 00:15:28,962
Man, that's some
gangster-ass shit.
384
00:15:31,171 --> 00:15:33,449
[ Elevator bell dings ]
385
00:15:38,661 --> 00:15:41,181
[ Man groaning ]
386
00:15:41,216 --> 00:15:42,734
Ms. Tudi: What the fuck
happened to you?
387
00:15:42,769 --> 00:15:44,495
Boonie:
Look like somebody
kicked him in the nuts.
388
00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,669
That means them Yoga Bitches
is here. Come on!
389
00:15:46,704 --> 00:15:49,500
[ Groans ]
I-I -- [ Groans ]
390
00:15:49,534 --> 00:15:52,330
I need to see a key.
391
00:15:53,055 --> 00:15:54,367
Ambro!Yeah.
392
00:15:54,401 --> 00:15:55,713
[ Grunts ]
Sorry.
393
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:57,335
Handicap coming through.Room key.
394
00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:59,406
I need a room key.All right.
395
00:15:59,441 --> 00:16:01,374
Look at this
motherfucker.
396
00:16:01,408 --> 00:16:04,515
Trying to get a key so he can
steal from people's minibars.
397
00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:06,379
Aren't you drunk enough?
398
00:16:06,413 --> 00:16:07,725
Good God!
399
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,727
Everybody can get
drunker than me.
400
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:12,316
Oh, here.
401
00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:13,524
James Brown.
402
00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:15,595
Whoo!
There! Hey!
403
00:16:16,665 --> 00:16:19,357
[ Indistinct conversations ]
404
00:16:19,392 --> 00:16:22,188
[ Dramatic music playing ]
405
00:16:22,222 --> 00:16:32,198
♪♪
406
00:16:32,232 --> 00:16:42,208
♪♪
407
00:16:42,242 --> 00:16:45,211
I see them motherfuckers.
408
00:16:45,245 --> 00:16:48,386
I see them bitches.
409
00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:49,353
Aw, damn!
410
00:16:49,387 --> 00:16:53,736
♪♪
411
00:16:53,771 --> 00:16:55,048
Come on!Eee!
412
00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:56,256
[ Guns cock ]
413
00:16:56,291 --> 00:17:07,543
♪♪
414
00:17:07,578 --> 00:17:10,374
[ Slow-motion footsteps ]
415
00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:15,793
I see them lyin' bastards
right over there.
416
00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:18,071
I see a lot of Black people
with guns!
417
00:17:18,106 --> 00:17:20,591
I see a way we can
work this all out.
418
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:26,148
And I see
a bunch of people without keys
419
00:17:26,183 --> 00:17:29,255
that need to get
the fuck out of my hotel.
420
00:17:29,289 --> 00:17:31,153
Man:
Eat lead, scumbag!
421
00:17:31,188 --> 00:17:32,327
Woman: Die, sucker!
422
00:17:32,361 --> 00:17:33,431
Whoa, whoa!
Hey! Uh...
423
00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:34,639
Unh!
Oh, my God.
424
00:17:34,674 --> 00:17:36,262
[ Gunshots ]Don't act tough! Unh!
425
00:17:36,296 --> 00:17:37,504
Game on!
426
00:17:37,539 --> 00:17:39,299
-That's right!
-Clancy, I'm comin'!
427
00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:40,783
Clancy!
428
00:17:40,818 --> 00:17:42,647
I thought
you couldn't walk!
429
00:17:42,682 --> 00:17:43,786
I do it for the checks.
430
00:17:43,821 --> 00:17:45,409
Hold up![ Indistinct shouting ]
431
00:17:45,443 --> 00:17:46,479
Namaste, bitch!
432
00:17:46,513 --> 00:17:47,480
Aah!Don't kill them!
433
00:17:47,514 --> 00:17:49,309
No![ Yells ]
434
00:17:49,344 --> 00:17:50,310
They owe me a reverse miracle
from the Pope!
435
00:17:50,345 --> 00:17:51,794
Aah!
436
00:17:51,829 --> 00:17:53,244
-Man down!
-Mr. Nigga!
437
00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:55,729
Ms. Tudi:
My bad, Lloyd!
438
00:17:55,764 --> 00:17:57,283
Aaaah!
439
00:17:57,317 --> 00:17:58,594
-Oh, shit!
-[ Laughs ]
440
00:17:58,629 --> 00:17:59,802
Hey! Come on!
441
00:17:59,837 --> 00:18:01,149
I've been hit!
I need -- I need --
442
00:18:01,183 --> 00:18:03,289
Jesus!Nah, I need my wig, nigga!
443
00:18:03,323 --> 00:18:05,360
Them bitches shot it off!
444
00:18:05,394 --> 00:18:06,809
Get off of me!
445
00:18:06,844 --> 00:18:08,811
[ Groans ]Hey, hey! Watch out! Watch out!
446
00:18:08,846 --> 00:18:11,676
Jesus, I --
I came back to save you.
447
00:18:11,711 --> 00:18:13,713
Ah, come on,
knock it off, Lloyd.
448
00:18:13,747 --> 00:18:15,370
We both know
why you came here.
449
00:18:15,404 --> 00:18:17,648
Ms. Tudi: I need my wig!
450
00:18:17,682 --> 00:18:20,478
You didn't come to save me.
You want that Darby.
451
00:18:20,513 --> 00:18:22,549
I love you
anyway, Lloyd.
452
00:18:22,584 --> 00:18:24,137
Here, keep that --
a souvenir.
453
00:18:24,172 --> 00:18:25,828
Santino:
I just peed myself a little bit!
454
00:18:25,863 --> 00:18:27,175
[ Laughing maniacally ]Damn, boy!
455
00:18:27,209 --> 00:18:29,315
-Shoot them bitches!
-Save us, Jesus!
456
00:18:29,349 --> 00:18:32,214
[ Heavenly music plays ]Aah!
457
00:18:32,249 --> 00:18:33,388
Oh, no.
458
00:18:33,422 --> 00:18:35,286
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
459
00:18:35,321 --> 00:18:39,566
[ Shouts in Italian ]
460
00:18:39,601 --> 00:18:42,535
Ms. Tudi: Ha, ha!
Take 'em down, Jesus!
461
00:18:42,569 --> 00:18:45,227
[ Gunshots ]
462
00:18:48,403 --> 00:18:50,232
Santino!
463
00:18:50,267 --> 00:18:52,407
Gesu Cristo!
464
00:18:52,441 --> 00:18:53,822
No, no, no.
465
00:18:53,856 --> 00:18:56,687
Santino's deathly allergic
to Oncidium orchids!
466
00:18:56,721 --> 00:18:58,827
Help!
467
00:18:58,861 --> 00:19:02,244
Oh...
Poor guy. He's gone.
468
00:19:02,279 --> 00:19:03,521
He's gone.
469
00:19:03,556 --> 00:19:04,660
And he had so much
left to live for.
470
00:19:04,695 --> 00:19:08,526
A pet fish...a dog...
471
00:19:08,561 --> 00:19:10,908
a transgender mistress that he
thought nobody knew about,
472
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:13,704
but I -- [ sobs ]
I knew. I knew.
473
00:19:13,738 --> 00:19:15,740
Hey, don't even trip,
pimp.
474
00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:17,535
Pops say it's cool.
I got this.
475
00:19:17,570 --> 00:19:18,536
[ Heavenly music plays ][ Gasps ]
476
00:19:18,571 --> 00:19:20,435
[ Shrieks ]
477
00:19:20,469 --> 00:19:22,368
[ Chuckling ]Mwah!
478
00:19:27,890 --> 00:19:28,822
My God...
479
00:19:28,857 --> 00:19:31,825
Get you some air, player.
480
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:34,897
Santi!It really is you!
481
00:19:34,932 --> 00:19:37,245
Yeah, you can tell
that Cardinal of yours
482
00:19:37,279 --> 00:19:38,418
that he would'a
never known that
483
00:19:38,453 --> 00:19:40,455
had I started doing all
that disappearing and shit.
484
00:19:40,489 --> 00:19:44,769
Y'all quit trippin'
and all them shenanigans.
485
00:19:44,804 --> 00:19:46,875
[ Sighs ] Did y'all have enough
for the day?
486
00:19:46,909 --> 00:19:48,635
Yep.
That was enough for today.
487
00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:49,912
-[ All agreeing ]
-Whew!
488
00:19:49,947 --> 00:19:51,742
That's enough bullets
and gun slingin'.
489
00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:53,433
How 'bout
some fish sandwiches?
490
00:19:53,468 --> 00:19:54,607
Come on.
491
00:19:54,641 --> 00:19:56,712
Oh, snap!
492
00:19:56,747 --> 00:19:58,542
Rise.[ Heavenly music plays ]
493
00:19:58,576 --> 00:20:00,923
[ Groans ]
494
00:20:00,958 --> 00:20:03,409
[ Laughs ]
495
00:20:03,443 --> 00:20:05,445
-Bye, Jesus.
-Bye, Jesus.
496
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:09,725
-Black Jesus, I believe!
-Well, at least they're gone.
497
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,590
You know that bitch
almost shot me in my head?
498
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:15,006
Anyway, how long is it
gonna take
499
00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:16,836
to get that stand
set back up?
500
00:20:16,870 --> 00:20:19,321
Ms. Tudi,
it still ain't safe out here
501
00:20:19,356 --> 00:20:21,254
with them Yoga Ladies
on one with them guns.
502
00:20:21,289 --> 00:20:23,912
Oh, Jesus.
Baby, what you worried about?
503
00:20:23,946 --> 00:20:27,502
Listen,
I love you like a son.
504
00:20:27,536 --> 00:20:28,675
Maybe even better.
505
00:20:28,710 --> 00:20:30,815
But, Jesus,
it ain't like somebody
506
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:33,301
could kill
your divine [Laughing] ass.
507
00:20:33,335 --> 00:20:35,268
Look here, I can't just be
risin' from the dead
508
00:20:35,303 --> 00:20:36,890
every time you catch beef
with somebody.
509
00:20:36,925 --> 00:20:39,030
Easter only come
once a year.
510
00:20:39,065 --> 00:20:41,585
Hey, hey! Hey, hey!
Wait, wait, wait.
511
00:20:41,619 --> 00:20:51,595
♪♪
512
00:20:51,629 --> 00:20:53,838
♪♪
513
00:20:53,873 --> 00:20:56,358
[ Heavenly music plays ]
514
00:20:59,499 --> 00:21:01,294
Thanks, Jesus!
515
00:21:01,329 --> 00:21:03,572
Right on, young pimp.
516
00:21:03,607 --> 00:21:06,437
[ Chuckles ]
517
00:21:06,472 --> 00:21:13,651
♪♪
518
00:21:13,686 --> 00:21:15,066
[ Chuckles ]
35049
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