Original subtitles

(sound of picture developing)

(creepy music with whispers)

(Loud beeping)

(loud beeping continues)

Oh Shit!

Ahhh!

(loud beeping continues)

Come on!

(cell phone rings)

Fuck!

(Cell phone keeps ringing) Fuck, fuckety, fuck!

(cell phone ringing)

(ringing stops) No no no no no!

(little beep from ankle monitor)

(sound of beeping returns)

(beeping stops)

(sound of beeping returns)

(beeping stops)

(ominous music)

(sound of beeping returns)

No no no no!!

What the F...?

(beeping continues)

(ominous scary music)

(door bell sound)

Hello.

I'm looking for Evan Johnson.

Is he home?

Yes.

Yes he's home or yes he's you?

Yes.

It's confusing if you just say yes.

I'm him.

It's me.

Mr. Johnson

I was sent a notification from the Department of Corrections.

You failed to respond to a breathalyzer.

Yeah, I was sleeping when it went off.

And a phone call?

My phone is upstairs so...

Oh...

I...

It's all good man.

You alone in there?

I just fell but...

Yeah, it's just me.

Actually... Sir.

The breathalyzer machine has been acting up.

Do you wanna come in and check it out?

You're new.

You renting this house?

It's one of the suggested DOC rentals.

Came furnished.

I have to stay in Dane County cause that's where I caught my case.

Makes sense.

You didn't strike me as the French lace type.

That's Swiss lace though.

I'm a Swiss lace type.

(laughing)

No for real though.

I have an Etsy account. People pay bank for Swiss lace.

It's softer against the skin.

Where's the machine?

Ah, it keeps flashing this warning sign?

Yeah, it does that

when it senses something is off.

These machines are very sensitive.

I have never seen this before?

Pardon me.

Ah!

That's wild man, I didn't realize it was taking real pictures.

Thought it was just sending digital shit into the ether.

You have an old machine.

Came with the house.

The new ones are digital. You should as for a trade in.

I told the last guy.

The last guy?

These ones have issues.

Issues?

Yeah, they keep loosing people.

I probably shouldn't tell you that.

Don't go getting any ideas.

You know the Jail Diversion Program is just two strikes and you're out.

So basically, this is strike one.

If you don't respond to the machine the DOC will call.

If you don't answer, you will most likely

spend the rest of your sentence in the Dane County jail with additional time.

We clear?

Yup!

Can I have this?

I've always wanted one.

Sure?

Wow!

(loud laugh)

(beeping)

Oh, and the other person in the picture should get registered.

Nobody else is here with me.

Well, since "nobody" is in every picture ...

Just get him registered. Then we'll be all good.

Hope we don't meet again.

Good luck.

(phone ring)

Yo, fucking sheriff came and took my sticker off my box!

Evan! Why was the sheriff there?!

All good, the machine was just acting up so...

I'm gonna need you to be less of a mess, it's like you want to be in jail.

I'm to soft for jail, I'm giving Bed Bath & Beyond.

I'm giving Down Pillow top. I'm giving Popeyes Biscuit.

Which is why I need you to come stay with me...

Oh no no no, I'm not staying there, don't be weird.

I'm giving full time employment. I'm giving 401K. I'm giving health insurance.

(beeping starts)

What the fuck?

Evan?

Where is it?

It was just here?

Where is it?

Evan, All I'm hear are a bunch of complaints.

When all I should be hearing are a bunch of thanks.

Like, thank you wonderful sister for finding me a place to live.

Shut up, I can't fins the machine!

Excuse me!

You need to make that damn lace and stop selling weed!

Nobody told you to get a degree in costume design!

(beeping upstairs)

(beeping continues upstairs)

(beeping continues)

Fucker!

(beeping continues)

What the?

(beeping starts again)

(beeping starts again)

(whispering voices)

(ankle monitor beeps)

(machine beeping continues)

(loud scream)

(creepy music)

(whispers join the creepy music)