Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,038 --> 00:00:03,831
[♪♪]
2
00:00:03,831 --> 00:00:06,417
[BOTH LAUGHING]
3
00:00:07,752 --> 00:00:10,380
SAMANTHA:
Okay, okay, come on.
4
00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:12,632
Come on. Morning
swim is over.
5
00:00:12,632 --> 00:00:15,009
Here, sweetheart. You hop
out here and grab this.
6
00:00:15,009 --> 00:00:17,720
Mommy, are we ever
gonna have a real pool?
7
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,223
Yes, when we can afford
the right kind.
8
00:00:20,223 --> 00:00:22,767
What kind is that?
The kind we can afford.
9
00:00:22,767 --> 00:00:25,728
Oh. Goodness.
He’s all dripping wet.
10
00:00:25,728 --> 00:00:28,523
Now, I’ll tell you what.
You take-- Oopsie.
11
00:00:28,523 --> 00:00:31,693
You take Adam upstairs,
get him dried off,
12
00:00:31,693 --> 00:00:34,654
and get ready
for breakfast, okay?
13
00:00:34,654 --> 00:00:36,906
Okay.
14
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:42,745
Boy, I’d love that.
A big, beautiful pool.
15
00:00:45,164 --> 00:00:46,624
I heard that.
16
00:00:46,624 --> 00:00:49,377
I heard that poor child
gasp for water.
17
00:00:49,377 --> 00:00:50,586
Good morning, Mother.
18
00:00:50,586 --> 00:00:52,422
To think my grandchildren,
19
00:00:52,422 --> 00:00:56,092
who are honor-born to ride
the wings of the wind.
20
00:00:56,092 --> 00:00:59,262
To think my grandchildren
would be found swimming
21
00:00:59,262 --> 00:01:01,973
in this Olympic-size
rubber band.
22
00:01:01,973 --> 00:01:04,267
It’s just too disgusting.
23
00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:05,727
What else is new?
24
00:01:07,186 --> 00:01:11,566
Oh. Well, if it isn’t
El Cheapo.
25
00:01:11,566 --> 00:01:13,985
Good morning, El Moutho.
26
00:01:13,985 --> 00:01:15,361
[HISSES]
27
00:01:16,446 --> 00:01:19,490
Okay, you two,
n-now, stop that.
28
00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:21,326
Uh, sweetheart, would you
please empty the pool?
29
00:01:21,326 --> 00:01:22,952
I’m gonna take
the kids shopping,
30
00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:26,456
and we won’t be needing it
for the rest of the afternoon.
31
00:01:26,456 --> 00:01:28,916
[♪♪]
32
00:01:28,916 --> 00:01:30,877
How can that miserly
husband of yours
33
00:01:30,877 --> 00:01:33,629
allow my grandchildren
to spend another summer
34
00:01:33,629 --> 00:01:36,215
sweltering in
the unbearable heat?
35
00:01:36,215 --> 00:01:38,217
Mother, we don’t
exactly live
36
00:01:38,217 --> 00:01:40,303
at the corner of
Sahara and Equator,
37
00:01:40,303 --> 00:01:42,096
so will you stop ranting?
38
00:01:42,096 --> 00:01:44,015
As you wish,
my darling.
39
00:01:44,015 --> 00:01:48,436
But my grandchildren
shall have what they want.
40
00:01:48,436 --> 00:01:49,896
[MAGIC CHIMES]
41
00:01:49,896 --> 00:01:52,940
[WATER SPLASHING]
42
00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:54,317
Mother, what did you do?
43
00:01:54,317 --> 00:01:55,943
About what?
44
00:01:55,943 --> 00:01:59,697
Did you pop a pool
into our back yard?
45
00:01:59,697 --> 00:02:01,157
Why?
46
00:02:01,157 --> 00:02:03,951
Darrin’s out there.
47
00:02:03,951 --> 00:02:05,912
[♪♪]
48
00:02:08,373 --> 00:02:09,957
I was out there.
49
00:02:11,376 --> 00:02:13,795
But I just came in
with the tide.
50
00:02:22,512 --> 00:02:25,973
Mm. Hi. Mother
got rid of the pool.
51
00:02:25,973 --> 00:02:30,478
Isn’t that nice?
One down, one to go.
52
00:02:32,188 --> 00:02:33,981
I won’t have time
for breakfast, Sam.
53
00:02:33,981 --> 00:02:37,276
My morning swim made me
a little late for work.
54
00:02:37,276 --> 00:02:39,904
Oh, but you look so refreshed.
55
00:02:39,904 --> 00:02:43,449
Well, under this calm,
refreshed exterior,
56
00:02:43,449 --> 00:02:47,829
is a burning urge to invite you
to a lynching, Endora. Yours.
57
00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:51,749
No one seems to appreciate me.
58
00:02:51,749 --> 00:02:55,002
Mother, it isn’t as if
we don’t appreciate you.
59
00:02:55,002 --> 00:02:57,547
We will get our own pool
with our own money
60
00:02:57,547 --> 00:02:58,714
when we can afford it.
61
00:02:58,714 --> 00:03:01,717
Which will probably
be never.
62
00:03:03,386 --> 00:03:05,221
Keep your cool, sweetheart.
63
00:03:05,221 --> 00:03:07,140
I’ll be out of the office
most of the day.
64
00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:09,725
Larry and I have appointments
all over town.
65
00:03:09,725 --> 00:03:12,728
And when I come home,
if your mother isn’t here,
66
00:03:12,728 --> 00:03:14,730
I won’t exactly
be disappointed.
67
00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:17,066
Don’t worry,
she won’t be here.
68
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:18,484
Mm.
69
00:03:25,950 --> 00:03:28,494
[NARRATOR READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]
70
00:03:28,494 --> 00:03:30,246
[♪♪]
71
00:04:07,074 --> 00:04:08,367
[♪♪]
72
00:04:14,499 --> 00:04:16,501
[♪♪]
73
00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:18,252
LARRY:
All in all, we didn’t do badly.
74
00:04:18,252 --> 00:04:20,338
We’re in with
the Patterson account
75
00:04:20,338 --> 00:04:22,507
and Pridewell is
a definite maybe.
76
00:04:22,507 --> 00:04:25,092
DARRIN: With the new approach,
we can still land the Cushman
Restaurant account too.
77
00:04:25,092 --> 00:04:26,969
If you fellas are gonna
talk any longer,
78
00:04:26,969 --> 00:04:29,514
I’m gonna have to
put my meter down again.
79
00:04:29,514 --> 00:04:32,350
Ah. I didn’t realize
we were at the office.
80
00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:36,521
Time stands still when he counts
money in the bank. Heh-heh-heh.
81
00:04:36,521 --> 00:04:38,397
Oh, Darrin, take care
of the cab, will you?
82
00:04:38,397 --> 00:04:40,900
I just remembered I’m expecting
a call from the coast.
83
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,276
Oh. Thanks a lot.
84
00:04:42,276 --> 00:04:45,780
[♪♪]
85
00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:48,866
Here, keep the change.
Ah. Thanks, thanks.
86
00:04:50,243 --> 00:04:53,287
Hey! You forgot something.
87
00:05:02,296 --> 00:05:04,131
Just what I need,
one more thing. Heh-heh.
88
00:05:04,131 --> 00:05:06,133
Just shove it under
the arm here.
Okay.
89
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:08,177
Thank you.
Right.
90
00:05:12,348 --> 00:05:14,308
[♪♪]
91
00:05:27,863 --> 00:05:29,240
Yes, Darrin?
92
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,951
Uh. Larry, did you leave
something in the cab?
93
00:05:31,951 --> 00:05:33,661
I don’t know.
Did you find something?
94
00:05:33,661 --> 00:05:35,329
If you left it behind.
95
00:05:35,329 --> 00:05:40,751
If I left it behind and you
found it, I must have lost it.
96
00:05:40,751 --> 00:05:44,171
Or let me put it another way.
What are we talking about?
97
00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:47,883
I’m asking you if you left
an envelope in the cab.
98
00:05:47,883 --> 00:05:49,302
Well, what’s in it?
99
00:05:49,302 --> 00:05:50,720
Hold on.
100
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,930
[♪♪]
101
00:06:10,364 --> 00:06:12,950
Hello? Darrin?
102
00:06:14,285 --> 00:06:15,494
Darrin?
103
00:06:15,494 --> 00:06:16,746
Uh. Yes.
104
00:06:16,746 --> 00:06:18,080
Well, what is it?
105
00:06:19,582 --> 00:06:21,709
What is what?
106
00:06:21,709 --> 00:06:23,502
What you found.
107
00:06:23,502 --> 00:06:25,212
What I found?
108
00:06:25,212 --> 00:06:28,341
Oh, you’re asking what I found.
109
00:06:28,341 --> 00:06:32,219
It’s, uh... It’s, uh...
110
00:06:32,219 --> 00:06:33,679
It’s a not yours.
111
00:06:33,679 --> 00:06:35,222
What?
112
00:06:35,222 --> 00:06:40,936
Uh, it’s just a, um, message
from my mother-in-law.
113
00:06:40,936 --> 00:06:43,230
How sweet.
114
00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:45,608
Does she often send you
little notes?
115
00:06:45,608 --> 00:06:47,985
Oh, yeah.
116
00:06:47,985 --> 00:06:49,612
Big ones too.
117
00:06:49,612 --> 00:06:53,240
[♪♪]
118
00:06:54,408 --> 00:06:57,244
[PHONE RINGS]
119
00:06:58,954 --> 00:07:01,040
Hello?
120
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,291
Oh, hi, Darrin.
121
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,418
Wanna hear something funny?
Sure.
122
00:07:04,418 --> 00:07:07,004
Really funny?
Yeah.
123
00:07:07,004 --> 00:07:08,964
Hilarious, in fact?
124
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:13,094
Uh-oh. It’s getting funnier
every second.
125
00:07:13,094 --> 00:07:15,596
You’re not going to believe it.
126
00:07:15,596 --> 00:07:18,349
Sweetheart, I love the way
you come right to the point.
127
00:07:18,349 --> 00:07:19,642
Uh, maybe I can help you.
128
00:07:19,642 --> 00:07:21,811
It has something to do
with Mother, right?
129
00:07:21,811 --> 00:07:23,437
Right.
130
00:07:23,437 --> 00:07:25,773
We said we wouldn’t put in
a pool until we could afford it,
131
00:07:25,773 --> 00:07:29,568
so she conveniently zapped up
a plain, unmarked envelope
132
00:07:29,568 --> 00:07:32,071
with I don’t know how many
thousands of dollars in it.
133
00:07:33,197 --> 00:07:35,908
Uh, where did she zap it up?
134
00:07:35,908 --> 00:07:37,451
In the cab.
135
00:07:37,451 --> 00:07:39,954
I would appreciate it
if you get hold of her,
136
00:07:39,954 --> 00:07:42,206
and tell her to zap it
out of my life.
137
00:07:42,206 --> 00:07:44,083
We’re not interested.
138
00:07:44,083 --> 00:07:49,088
Y-yeah. Okay, sweetheart. Bye.
139
00:07:50,715 --> 00:07:53,718
Mother!
140
00:07:53,718 --> 00:07:55,720
Mother, is it possible
141
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,473
that you could be lurking
somewhere nearby?
142
00:07:59,473 --> 00:08:03,519
I never lurk.
What’s your problem?
143
00:08:03,519 --> 00:08:06,147
Mother, that wasn’t funny.
What?
144
00:08:06,147 --> 00:08:07,606
It wasn’t funny at all.
145
00:08:07,606 --> 00:08:09,358
I don’t know what
you’re talking about.
146
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:12,236
As a matter of fact,
it was insulting.
147
00:08:12,236 --> 00:08:14,488
You must have a pretty
low opinion of Darrin
148
00:08:14,488 --> 00:08:16,073
to think that he
wouldn’t see through
149
00:08:16,073 --> 00:08:17,533
something so obvious.
150
00:08:17,533 --> 00:08:20,453
You’re quite right about
my opinion of Durwood,
151
00:08:20,453 --> 00:08:22,830
but if you don’t tell me
what this is all about,
152
00:08:22,830 --> 00:08:26,542
I shall scream and shatter
glass all over Westport.
153
00:08:26,542 --> 00:08:30,796
Darrin found a ton
of money in a taxi.
154
00:08:30,796 --> 00:08:32,339
Wonderful.
155
00:08:32,339 --> 00:08:36,385
I hope he found enough to get
his parched children a pool.
156
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:39,722
He found enough to get them
an entire ocean.
157
00:08:39,722 --> 00:08:43,434
And I will thank you to zap it
back where it came from.
158
00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:45,519
You know I always take credit
where credit is due,
159
00:08:45,519 --> 00:08:47,813
and once in a while,
where it isn’t.
160
00:08:47,813 --> 00:08:49,607
But in this case,
161
00:08:49,607 --> 00:08:54,361
if I were to do such a thing,
I would be much more clever.
162
00:08:54,361 --> 00:08:58,407
That feeble zap was not mine.
163
00:08:59,992 --> 00:09:02,036
Witch’s honor?
164
00:09:02,036 --> 00:09:04,872
Witch’s honor.
165
00:09:04,872 --> 00:09:10,044
Well, if you didn’t
leave the money in the cab,
166
00:09:10,044 --> 00:09:11,796
who did?
167
00:09:13,047 --> 00:09:15,216
[♪♪]
168
00:09:23,766 --> 00:09:26,435
Are you the gentleman
that called the dispatcher?
169
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:31,524
It was I.
Oh, yeah. Two rides ago.
170
00:09:31,524 --> 00:09:33,651
First time anything like that
ever happened to me.
171
00:09:33,651 --> 00:09:37,071
Somebody calling the dispatcher
requesting my services.
172
00:09:37,071 --> 00:09:39,240
You give a very smooth ride.
Thank you.
173
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,617
Where to?
Uh. Nowhere.
174
00:09:41,617 --> 00:09:44,537
Oh, I get it.
You lost something?
175
00:09:44,537 --> 00:09:47,414
Yes. Something
very dear to me.
176
00:09:47,414 --> 00:09:49,583
Something I want back
badly.
177
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:52,253
I know the guy that’s got it.
178
00:09:52,253 --> 00:09:55,422
[♪♪]
179
00:10:01,345 --> 00:10:03,097
That’s him.
180
00:10:03,097 --> 00:10:04,306
Follow him.
181
00:10:04,306 --> 00:10:06,267
Follow him? Why?
182
00:10:06,267 --> 00:10:08,894
Why don’t you just go over
and ask for the envelope?
183
00:10:08,894 --> 00:10:10,354
This area is too crowded.
184
00:10:10,354 --> 00:10:12,189
To ask a fella
for an envelope?
185
00:10:12,189 --> 00:10:13,440
There’s so much noise,
186
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,776
maybe he wouldn’t be
able to hear me.
187
00:10:15,776 --> 00:10:16,944
Follow him.
188
00:10:16,944 --> 00:10:19,154
[♪♪]
189
00:10:27,872 --> 00:10:30,249
That’s a lot of money.
190
00:10:30,249 --> 00:10:34,795
One hundred thousand dollars.
I counted it.
191
00:10:34,795 --> 00:10:38,299
[♪♪]
192
00:10:38,299 --> 00:10:41,677
This guy lives at 1164
Morning Glory Circle.
193
00:10:41,677 --> 00:10:43,512
I’m going in there now
after the money.
194
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:46,181
If something should
happen to me, you know.
195
00:10:46,181 --> 00:10:48,851
Anyway, I need you
to pick me up.
196
00:10:48,851 --> 00:10:53,022
Hey, don’t get so heavy
about it. Nobody’s perfect.
197
00:10:53,022 --> 00:10:54,356
Hm.
198
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:58,027
At first, I hoped the money
was counterfeit.
199
00:10:58,027 --> 00:11:01,113
But I took $100 bill down
to the bank, and no such luck.
200
00:11:01,113 --> 00:11:04,325
Your mother must have zapped it
out of a Federal Reserve Bank.
201
00:11:04,325 --> 00:11:07,286
Darrin, I know my mother
is not responsible.
202
00:11:07,286 --> 00:11:09,079
She gave me
her witch’s honor.
203
00:11:09,079 --> 00:11:11,999
Her witch’s honor is like
getting the Boy Scout salute
204
00:11:11,999 --> 00:11:13,334
from Benedict Arnold.
205
00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:17,671
Darrin, you’re acting
very flaky.
206
00:11:17,671 --> 00:11:19,548
May I join you?
207
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,884
I love to watch him
go to pieces.
208
00:11:21,884 --> 00:11:25,304
I’m glad you’re here,
O weird one.
209
00:11:25,304 --> 00:11:28,098
Samantha, let me change him
into a ripe melon
210
00:11:28,098 --> 00:11:30,851
in a field of fruit flies.
211
00:11:30,851 --> 00:11:32,061
Never mind that.
212
00:11:32,061 --> 00:11:34,980
Just zap this money back
where it came from.
213
00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:37,816
I don’t know where it came from.
214
00:11:37,816 --> 00:11:39,777
Now, I better be leaving,
Samantha,
215
00:11:39,777 --> 00:11:43,781
before I make him get down
on all four knees and apologize.
216
00:11:43,781 --> 00:11:45,574
Four knees?
217
00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:47,868
He’ll be a billy goat.
218
00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:54,583
Sam, can’t you send it back?
219
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,752
Darrin, did you ever
think of the possibility
220
00:11:56,752 --> 00:11:59,505
that this money might
have been lost by someone?
221
00:11:59,505 --> 00:12:02,633
I called the lost and found
at the cab company.
222
00:12:02,633 --> 00:12:05,552
Somebody lost an umbrella
with a rib missing,
223
00:12:05,552 --> 00:12:07,388
and some lady
lost a pair of gloves.
224
00:12:07,388 --> 00:12:08,722
But nobody lost
an envelope
225
00:12:08,722 --> 00:12:10,975
with enough money in it
to choke a horse.
226
00:12:10,975 --> 00:12:12,893
That’s it.
227
00:12:12,893 --> 00:12:15,729
That’s the answer
to whose money it might be.
228
00:12:15,729 --> 00:12:17,898
A horse lost it?
229
00:12:17,898 --> 00:12:21,652
A horseplayer or a bookie.
230
00:12:21,652 --> 00:12:23,320
Or, who knows,
maybe even a gangster
231
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,322
who’d be afraid
to report the loss.
232
00:12:25,322 --> 00:12:29,410
Oh, come on, Sam.
I mean, gangsters?
233
00:12:29,410 --> 00:12:31,578
What you won’t think of
to defend your mother.
234
00:12:31,578 --> 00:12:33,664
Darrin, you’re
overreacting.
235
00:12:33,664 --> 00:12:36,667
I know Mother’s been
a problem in the past,
236
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:40,295
but believe me,
this incident is not her work.
237
00:12:40,295 --> 00:12:43,424
How can you be so sure?
238
00:12:43,424 --> 00:12:44,967
Unless it’s because you--
239
00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:46,468
What?
240
00:12:46,468 --> 00:12:48,262
Oh, no, you wouldn’t
have done it.
241
00:12:48,262 --> 00:12:51,557
Darrin, are you accusing me?
242
00:12:51,557 --> 00:12:52,933
I didn’t accuse you.
243
00:12:52,933 --> 00:12:55,394
Oh, yes, you did.
244
00:12:55,394 --> 00:12:57,187
You’re being obstinate,
stubborn,
245
00:12:57,187 --> 00:12:59,273
childish and pigheaded.
246
00:12:59,273 --> 00:13:01,942
Terrific. You didn’t
leave out anything.
247
00:13:01,942 --> 00:13:03,777
Oh, yes, I did.
248
00:13:03,777 --> 00:13:06,572
You are being
intractable, obtuse,
249
00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:09,116
unyielding and pigheaded.
250
00:13:09,116 --> 00:13:10,659
You used that one already.
251
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,536
Well, there are just
a few more I may use again,
252
00:13:12,536 --> 00:13:13,829
so I think I’d better go out
253
00:13:13,829 --> 00:13:16,623
and get some air
for a little while.
254
00:13:19,543 --> 00:13:22,296
Thank you very much.
255
00:13:22,296 --> 00:13:23,464
My pleasure.
256
00:13:23,464 --> 00:13:27,301
And I hope nobody
comes for it.
257
00:13:27,301 --> 00:13:29,428
Where are you going?
I don’t know.
258
00:13:29,428 --> 00:13:32,389
I may go to a movie,
I may go and visit Louise,
259
00:13:32,389 --> 00:13:33,932
I may go to the moon.
260
00:13:33,932 --> 00:13:37,603
But wherever I go, I will have
better company than here.
261
00:13:41,065 --> 00:13:43,025
[♪♪]
262
00:13:50,407 --> 00:13:53,535
Here, keep the change.
Ah, thanks.
263
00:14:01,085 --> 00:14:02,753
[DOORBELL RINGS]
264
00:14:02,753 --> 00:14:04,922
[♪♪]
265
00:14:06,965 --> 00:14:09,259
How do you do?
How do you do?
266
00:14:09,259 --> 00:14:11,678
What can I do for you?
My name is Rudolph Kosko.
267
00:14:11,678 --> 00:14:16,600
"Rudolph Kosko. Public relations
and advertising."
268
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,186
What a coincidence.
I’m in advertising too.
269
00:14:19,186 --> 00:14:21,772
Heh. We have something else
in common: the envelope.
270
00:14:21,772 --> 00:14:23,190
The envelope?
271
00:14:23,190 --> 00:14:25,484
Yes, the one the cab driver
found and gave to you.
272
00:14:25,484 --> 00:14:29,780
It’s a very special envelope
in that it contains $100,000
273
00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:31,615
of which I am very fond.
274
00:14:31,615 --> 00:14:34,326
Oh, that envelope. Heh.
275
00:14:34,326 --> 00:14:38,956
Yes. Well, if you’ll just give
it to me, I’ll be on my way.
276
00:14:38,956 --> 00:14:42,251
Uh, I’m afraid
I can’t do that.
277
00:14:43,502 --> 00:14:46,630
J-j-just who do you
think you are?
278
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:48,757
I am somebody who,
279
00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:51,051
when you use
an ill-considered tone to me,
280
00:14:51,051 --> 00:14:53,220
you do something more
courageous than you realize.
281
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:55,389
Well, what are you
trying to say?
282
00:14:55,389 --> 00:14:57,307
I’m saying I want
my $100,000 back,
283
00:14:57,307 --> 00:14:59,476
and I don’t want
any complications.
284
00:14:59,476 --> 00:15:01,353
Oh, there are no
complications.
Good.
285
00:15:01,353 --> 00:15:05,065
Except for one.
One little complication.
286
00:15:05,065 --> 00:15:06,984
I don’t have the money.
287
00:15:06,984 --> 00:15:10,070
I mean, it’s around,
but it’s not.
288
00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:11,989
One little complication.
289
00:15:11,989 --> 00:15:13,615
Where is it?
290
00:15:13,615 --> 00:15:15,826
My wife has it,
but she’s not here.
291
00:15:15,826 --> 00:15:17,202
Where is she?
292
00:15:17,202 --> 00:15:20,497
Well, she might be anywhere.
The movies, the moon.
293
00:15:20,497 --> 00:15:23,250
[LAUGHING]
294
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:25,627
If that’s supposed
to be funny, I don’t get it.
295
00:15:25,627 --> 00:15:26,670
Call your wife.
296
00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:28,964
I wouldn’t know
where to start.
297
00:15:28,964 --> 00:15:31,008
I’ll start by
calling Louise.
298
00:15:31,008 --> 00:15:33,051
Yeah, you do that.
299
00:15:36,346 --> 00:15:39,349
[DIALING]
300
00:15:41,018 --> 00:15:43,562
Louise.
301
00:15:43,562 --> 00:15:45,856
Hello, Louise. Look,
I know Sam isn’t there yet,
302
00:15:45,856 --> 00:15:47,441
but as soon as she comes--
303
00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:49,193
What?
304
00:15:49,193 --> 00:15:54,072
Oh, the kids are fine.
Look, as soon as she walks in--
305
00:15:54,072 --> 00:15:56,241
I’m fine too.
306
00:15:56,241 --> 00:15:59,453
And my mother is fine.
Look, Louise,
307
00:15:59,453 --> 00:16:04,541
as soon as Sam gets there,
tell her to call me.
308
00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:06,710
She’s not there yet.
Heh-heh-heh.
309
00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:08,629
[♪♪]
310
00:16:09,546 --> 00:16:11,924
Men. They’re all alike.
311
00:16:11,924 --> 00:16:13,383
Darrin called and sounded like
312
00:16:13,383 --> 00:16:15,052
he was having
a nervous breakdown.
313
00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:16,553
Oh, what a performance.
314
00:16:16,553 --> 00:16:18,347
Well, I don’t blow up
at Darrin often,
315
00:16:18,347 --> 00:16:20,557
but this time he really
asked for it.
316
00:16:20,557 --> 00:16:21,767
[RINGS]
317
00:16:21,767 --> 00:16:24,228
That’s him again.
318
00:16:26,563 --> 00:16:28,899
Yes, Darrin?
319
00:16:28,899 --> 00:16:30,234
Oh, she’s here,
320
00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:32,194
but I’m not sure she
wants to talk to you.
321
00:16:32,194 --> 00:16:34,112
Yes, I do.
322
00:16:34,112 --> 00:16:36,657
Shh. Let him stew for a while.
323
00:16:39,034 --> 00:16:42,496
I’m sorry, Darrin, but you’ll
just have to call back.
324
00:16:42,496 --> 00:16:43,664
Louise.
325
00:16:43,664 --> 00:16:45,916
Well, let him cook
till he’s well-done.
326
00:16:45,916 --> 00:16:49,753
You wouldn’t have understood
him anyway. He’s so incoherent.
327
00:16:49,753 --> 00:16:51,421
Incoherent about what?
328
00:16:51,421 --> 00:16:54,883
Oh. Something about somebody
coming over for the money,
329
00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,927
life or death.
330
00:16:56,927 --> 00:16:58,428
It’s always life or death.
331
00:16:58,428 --> 00:17:02,724
Louise, I appreciate
what you’re trying to do,
332
00:17:02,724 --> 00:17:05,686
but it sounds like there
might be something wrong.
333
00:17:07,604 --> 00:17:09,439
[DOOR OPENS]
334
00:17:09,439 --> 00:17:13,610
Mr. Kosko,
I’m so glad you showed up.
335
00:17:13,610 --> 00:17:15,946
I knew that money
belonged to someone.
336
00:17:15,946 --> 00:17:19,366
Heh. It usually does,
and I’d like to have it back.
337
00:17:19,366 --> 00:17:21,702
Well, now, I-I don’t
know if I should.
338
00:17:21,702 --> 00:17:24,788
I mean, you must admit
it was rather careless of you.
339
00:17:24,788 --> 00:17:27,749
I mean, $100,000
is a lot of money
340
00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:30,377
to leave in the back
of a cab, or anywhere.
341
00:17:30,377 --> 00:17:31,795
Except a bank.
342
00:17:31,795 --> 00:17:33,547
Lady, I know it’s a lot,
343
00:17:33,547 --> 00:17:35,507
but since we’re approaching
the dinner hour,
344
00:17:35,507 --> 00:17:37,301
let us conclude
our little transaction
345
00:17:37,301 --> 00:17:39,428
without further stalling.
346
00:17:39,428 --> 00:17:41,805
Sam, why don’t you
just whip out the money
347
00:17:41,805 --> 00:17:43,432
and give it to Mr. Kosko?
348
00:17:43,432 --> 00:17:46,393
Yeah, well, I will, but I want
to ask him something first.
349
00:17:46,393 --> 00:17:48,645
Mr. Kosko, where did you
get all that money?
350
00:17:48,645 --> 00:17:51,398
I got it selling
Girl Scout cookies,
351
00:17:51,398 --> 00:17:53,483
and I’d like it back now.
352
00:17:53,483 --> 00:17:54,651
Now.
353
00:17:54,651 --> 00:17:57,404
Come on, Sam.
I’m sure Mr. Kosko
354
00:17:57,404 --> 00:17:59,489
has a lot more
cookies to sell.
355
00:17:59,489 --> 00:18:01,116
He’s a very busy man.
356
00:18:01,116 --> 00:18:03,201
[DOORBELL RINGS]
357
00:18:03,201 --> 00:18:04,786
This is a very
busy house.
358
00:18:04,786 --> 00:18:07,331
[♪♪]
359
00:18:09,041 --> 00:18:10,292
Who are you?
360
00:18:10,292 --> 00:18:13,670
I’m associated
with Mr. Kosko.
361
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,422
This is Mr. Braun.
362
00:18:15,422 --> 00:18:16,965
Oh, I get it.
363
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,759
You’re the brains
and you’re the Braun.
364
00:18:18,759 --> 00:18:21,511
Hey, that’s not bad.
I’ll use that.
365
00:18:21,511 --> 00:18:24,639
I don’t get it.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
366
00:18:24,639 --> 00:18:26,975
Ever thought of putting
in a revolving door?
367
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:28,894
Heh-heh.
368
00:18:30,312 --> 00:18:32,189
Darrin, I’ve put together
some rough layouts
369
00:18:32,189 --> 00:18:33,357
on the Cushman account.
370
00:18:33,357 --> 00:18:35,400
Using women’s lib--
371
00:18:36,443 --> 00:18:38,987
Oh, I didn’t know
you had guests.
372
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:41,114
Hi, Larry.
Sam.
373
00:18:41,114 --> 00:18:43,408
This is Mr. Kosko
and Mr. Braun.
374
00:18:43,408 --> 00:18:44,868
Of Kosko and Braun,
375
00:18:44,868 --> 00:18:47,204
public relations
and advertising.
376
00:18:47,204 --> 00:18:50,040
Kosko and Braun,
377
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,292
public relations
and advertising.
378
00:18:52,292 --> 00:18:54,044
If I didn’t know I could
count on your loyalty,
379
00:18:54,044 --> 00:18:57,381
I’d suspect you were negotiating
with another company.
380
00:18:57,381 --> 00:18:58,799
Oh, I’m not negotiating
with them.
381
00:18:58,799 --> 00:19:02,594
They’re, um,
negotiating with me.
382
00:19:02,594 --> 00:19:05,555
And to think
I ran over here as a pal,
383
00:19:05,555 --> 00:19:07,974
offering you ideas
for the Cushman account.
384
00:19:07,974 --> 00:19:09,810
Larry, they’re not
even in advertising.
385
00:19:09,810 --> 00:19:12,562
They just advertise
they’re in advertising.
386
00:19:12,562 --> 00:19:15,065
Well, what business
are they in?
387
00:19:15,065 --> 00:19:16,441
Money.
388
00:19:18,693 --> 00:19:20,862
I-it’s a long story, Larry,
389
00:19:20,862 --> 00:19:22,906
but that envelope I told
you about this morning
390
00:19:22,906 --> 00:19:24,032
had money in it, and--
391
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:27,619
You mean you took money
from them already?
392
00:19:27,619 --> 00:19:30,414
I’ll explain later.
393
00:19:30,414 --> 00:19:32,249
I can give a bonus too.
394
00:19:32,249 --> 00:19:34,251
How much money
was in that envelope?
395
00:19:34,251 --> 00:19:36,086
Larry, will you
let me explain later?
396
00:19:36,086 --> 00:19:39,423
No, no. I’ll give you
a 15 percent raise right now.
397
00:19:39,423 --> 00:19:40,757
Forget it.
398
00:19:40,757 --> 00:19:43,802
I’m not leaving until
I know where we stand.
399
00:19:43,802 --> 00:19:45,595
Darrin...
400
00:19:46,847 --> 00:19:49,099
Take it.
401
00:19:49,099 --> 00:19:50,308
I’ll take it.
402
00:19:50,308 --> 00:19:52,894
Larry, we were here first.
403
00:19:52,894 --> 00:19:55,814
And a $2500 bonus.
I’ll take it.
404
00:19:55,814 --> 00:19:57,023
Good.
405
00:19:57,023 --> 00:19:58,442
[CHUCKLES]
406
00:19:58,442 --> 00:20:00,944
That’ll teach you to try
to steal my employees.
407
00:20:00,944 --> 00:20:02,779
Sam.
408
00:20:03,780 --> 00:20:05,866
Ungh!
I’ll see you tomorrow.
409
00:20:05,866 --> 00:20:08,869
[♪♪]
410
00:20:10,328 --> 00:20:11,788
You work for
that fruitcake?
411
00:20:12,831 --> 00:20:14,499
Mm-hm.
412
00:20:14,499 --> 00:20:17,043
Well, shall we proceed?
413
00:20:17,043 --> 00:20:19,212
Without a doubt.
414
00:20:19,212 --> 00:20:21,631
Well, Sam,
get them the money.
415
00:20:21,631 --> 00:20:24,259
Okay, but you’ll
have to turn around.
416
00:20:24,259 --> 00:20:25,802
What for?
417
00:20:25,802 --> 00:20:28,472
I don’t want you to see
where my hiding place is.
418
00:20:28,472 --> 00:20:31,767
Let’s turn around.
419
00:20:31,767 --> 00:20:34,603
You too.
It’s her hiding place.
420
00:20:34,603 --> 00:20:35,937
Right.
421
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:40,442
Gentlemen.
422
00:20:42,402 --> 00:20:44,112
I’m having a little trouble
423
00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:46,990
remembering where
my hiding place is.
424
00:20:48,742 --> 00:20:51,036
Would this, uh,
jog your memory?
425
00:20:52,162 --> 00:20:53,497
Oh, now, wait a minute.
426
00:20:53,497 --> 00:20:54,873
Lady, the boys don’t like
427
00:20:54,873 --> 00:20:57,334
having their collections
tampered with.
428
00:20:57,334 --> 00:20:59,211
The boys?
429
00:20:59,211 --> 00:21:00,545
The boy--
430
00:21:00,545 --> 00:21:02,547
We want our money,
and we want it now.
431
00:21:02,547 --> 00:21:04,925
Would you consider a check?
432
00:21:04,925 --> 00:21:06,760
I’m gonna count to three.
433
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,262
Sam, give them the money.
434
00:21:09,262 --> 00:21:13,183
I’m counting. One, two...
435
00:21:13,183 --> 00:21:14,684
[MAGIC CHIMES]
436
00:21:19,606 --> 00:21:22,025
Hey, what’s going on here?
437
00:21:24,528 --> 00:21:27,072
Something weird’s happening.
438
00:21:27,072 --> 00:21:30,200
Lady, did you do
something sneaky?
439
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,993
[MAGIC CHIMES]
440
00:21:31,993 --> 00:21:33,995
[SIREN WAILING]
441
00:21:35,997 --> 00:21:38,917
MAN:
Okay, we know you’re
in there, Kosko, Braun.
442
00:21:38,917 --> 00:21:41,378
Come out with your hands up.
The house is surrounded.
443
00:21:41,378 --> 00:21:42,546
[MAGIC CHIMES]
444
00:21:42,546 --> 00:21:44,714
[SIRENS WAILING]
445
00:21:46,216 --> 00:21:48,593
Sounds like the whole
police force is outside.
446
00:21:48,593 --> 00:21:50,011
[MAGIC CHIMES]
447
00:21:50,011 --> 00:21:54,140
MAN:
Come on out, Kosko, Braun.
448
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:56,893
Gladly. Anything to get
out of this crazy place.
449
00:21:56,893 --> 00:21:58,895
We’re coming peacefully.
450
00:22:01,064 --> 00:22:02,899
See? We’re unarmed.
451
00:22:04,526 --> 00:22:06,444
[♪♪]
452
00:22:08,905 --> 00:22:12,993
You know something, Kosko?
I think we’re going bananas.
453
00:22:14,077 --> 00:22:17,414
[SIREN WAILING]
454
00:22:17,414 --> 00:22:20,584
[♪♪]
455
00:22:28,675 --> 00:22:31,761
Oh, am I glad you
fellas happened by.
456
00:22:31,761 --> 00:22:33,930
We just didn’t
happen by.
457
00:22:33,930 --> 00:22:36,433
We heard all the sirens.
We thought something was up.
458
00:22:36,433 --> 00:22:38,226
Like I always say,
459
00:22:38,226 --> 00:22:40,437
police are always around
when you need them.
460
00:22:40,437 --> 00:22:42,439
Officer, these gentlemen
461
00:22:42,439 --> 00:22:46,985
are members of some boys’ club
who make collections.
462
00:22:46,985 --> 00:22:49,946
Maybe you’d like to see
what they’ve collected.
463
00:22:51,656 --> 00:22:53,867
And you seemed
like such a nice lady.
464
00:22:54,993 --> 00:22:58,330
Officer, we didn’t
do nothing, honest.
465
00:22:58,330 --> 00:23:00,457
Who said you did
anything honest?
466
00:23:02,584 --> 00:23:05,837
Hey, there’s a lot of loot here.
467
00:23:05,837 --> 00:23:08,465
Come on. Let’s go downtown
and do a lot of talking.
468
00:23:08,465 --> 00:23:09,883
Come on.
469
00:23:09,883 --> 00:23:11,801
[♪♪]
470
00:23:14,179 --> 00:23:17,515
Sweetheart, I’ll never
doubt you again.
471
00:23:17,515 --> 00:23:19,893
And I’m sorry for the--
472
00:23:19,893 --> 00:23:22,270
It was all part
of a master plan.
473
00:23:22,270 --> 00:23:23,980
Master plan?
Yes.
474
00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:25,982
To give Larry a reason
for offering you
475
00:23:25,982 --> 00:23:30,070
a 15 percent raise
and a $2500 bonus.
476
00:23:30,070 --> 00:23:31,738
Is that true?
477
00:23:31,738 --> 00:23:35,659
No. But it would have
been rather clever.
478
00:23:35,659 --> 00:23:37,827
[♪♪]
479
00:23:43,792 --> 00:23:47,504
All right, Larry, all right.
If you insist.
480
00:23:47,504 --> 00:23:49,172
See you in the morning.
481
00:23:50,757 --> 00:23:53,176
Is that Larry Tate
a beautiful person?
482
00:23:53,176 --> 00:23:55,553
Is he one of the great
people of the world?
483
00:23:55,553 --> 00:23:57,681
I told him the truth
about Kosko and Braun.
484
00:23:57,681 --> 00:23:59,516
And do you think
he’d back down on the raise
485
00:23:59,516 --> 00:24:00,725
and the six-week vacation?
486
00:24:00,725 --> 00:24:02,477
He would.
He did.
487
00:24:02,477 --> 00:24:04,854
Because you’re
a yo-yo.
488
00:24:04,854 --> 00:24:07,774
Well, the bad fairy
is here again.
489
00:24:07,774 --> 00:24:10,318
Mother, you missed
a fair share of excitement.
490
00:24:10,318 --> 00:24:12,028
Would I miss it?
491
00:24:12,028 --> 00:24:15,073
Figures. Snoopy
wouldn’t miss a thing.
492
00:24:15,073 --> 00:24:19,160
But dum-dum here has
the brain of a dropout guppy.
493
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,579
Why did you tell
Larry Tate the truth?
494
00:24:21,579 --> 00:24:23,373
He need never have known.
495
00:24:23,373 --> 00:24:25,166
Darrin would know.
496
00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:26,626
Ick, ick, ick.
497
00:24:26,626 --> 00:24:29,087
It’s an act of sheer stupidity.
498
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:35,552
Maybe it was stupid,
but I love him for it.
499
00:24:36,886 --> 00:24:38,263
What?
500
00:24:38,263 --> 00:24:42,559
Oh. Oh, sweetheart,
you know what I didn’t mean.
501
00:24:47,564 --> 00:24:50,775
[♪♪]
35627
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof