All language subtitles for Bewitched.S07E19.Samantha.and.the.Troll.1080p.ROKU.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-HiNGS_track3_[eng]

[♪♪]

All done, Mommy.
Can we go play now?

SAMANTHA:
Not until Adam finishes
his milk.

I’m gonna go out
and get the newspaper for Daddy.

And when I come back, I want
that cup of milk to be empty.

You understand, Adam?

Don’t worry, Mommy.
He’ll do it for me.

Adam. Go ahead, Adam.
Drink your milk.

Milk, up.

Go ahead.
The rest is up to you.

I wanna go out and play,

and if you don’t empty that cup,
I will.

Cup, go.

Tabitha, put that back.

[SHATTERS]

Tabitha, that was naughty
and you know it.

It wasn’t my fault, Mommy.

You scared me
and broke my spell.

You shouldn’t be doing spells.

DARRIN:
Honey, breakfast ready?

Uh-oh.
In a few minutes, sweetheart.

[PHONE RINGS]

DARRIN:
I’ll get it.

We’ll discuss this later,
young lady.

Now, I better clean this up
before your daddy sees it.

You turn the other way.

You too.

[GIGGLES]

What’s wrong, Mommy?
I don’t know.

[GIGGLES]

Never mind, Tabitha.

Now, why don’t you two
go out and play?

And, Adam, you will have
two cups of milk for dinner.

Okay, Mommy.

Hi, little cousin.

[CHUCKLES]

I see you’re still working hard
on housemaid’s knee.

What’s the matter? Super-boob
too cheap to hire a maid?

Just had
a little accident.

And frankly, Serena, I prefer
to do things the mortal way.

Especially when
your witchcraft doesn’t work.

Tabitha, will you please take
Adam out on the patio and play?

Okay. Come on, Adam.

Just a minute.

What was it Tabitha
snitched about?

I don’t know what’s wrong.
I seem to have a pooped twitch.

How long has it been
since you’ve had a checkup?

I mean, the full
10,000-spell overhaul.

Well, it’s been a long,
long time. Probably--

Sam, that was Larry
on the phone, and for some...

For some reason,
he wants to pick me up.

And you can forget about
breakfast.

I’ve just lost my appetite.

Well, I see tall, dark
and nothing

is as nothing as ever.

Never mind, Serena.

Sweetheart, I think
I have a little problem.

I know.
When did she get here?

Ding-dong,
when it comes to dense,

you go to
the head of the class.

She’s sick
and she needs a checkup,

and yesterday wouldn’t
have been too soon.

My witchcraft has gone fluey.

It could be serious.
What can you do about it?

Well, I should go in for a
full checkup and rehabilitation.

Well, how long
would you be gone?

Oh, I should be back
by 9 tonight.

Serena, could you stay
with Adam and Tabitha?

Of course.

Sam, couldn’t you get Esmeralda
or your mother or--?

There isn’t time.
Give me a boost, Serena.

Weebus worbus
Toodle-flick

Get a checkup or you’ll be sick

Alone at last.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

That must be Larry.

Do me a favor.
Uh, stay out of sight.

Sure, poopsie.

[GIGGLES]

[NARRATOR READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Good morning, Darrin.
Good morning.

Uh, hadn’t we better get going?
We’ll be late.

Darrin,
how can you be late?

You’re with the boss.

Uh, Larry, is there
some special reason

why you want me
to drive in to work with you?

Yes. My seat belt’s broken

and I want you to hold me
in the car.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I finally arranged a meeting
with Mr. Berkley

of Berkley Hair Tonic
for this afternoon.

Forget it.
Who needs a hair tonic account

at a time when nobody
is buying hair tonic?

But that’s the point.

When the sales are slipping,
opportunity knocks.

There’s no way to go but up.

Let’s make sure that the client
understands that.

You’ll make that perfectly
clear, but not too clear.

And if there are any loose ends,

we’ll sew them up tonight
at dinner.

DARRIN:
Oh, that would be a good idea,

but I’m afraid Sam and I
can’t make it.

LARRY:
Can’t make it? You’re the hosts.

DARRIN:
Forget it, Larry.
Sam’s not here.

She went out of town
to take care of something,

and, uh, she won’t be back
till after dinner.

[IN SAMANTHA’S VOICE]
Sweetheart.

Let’s go.

SERENA: Hi, Larry.
Sam?

Oh, Darrin, I’m so glad
I caught you.

Darrin, that really
wasn’t worthy of you.

If you don’t want the client
to come for dinner, just say so.

I don’t want the client
to come here for dinner.

Sam, Louise is away
visiting her mother.

And if it isn’t too much
of an imposition--

Imposition?

Oh, my goodness.
Of course not.

We would love to have Mr. and
Mrs. Berkley here for dinner.

Wouldn’t we, sweetheart?

Uh, Larry, why don’t you
go along without me?

I think Sam and I have to--

Oh, now, don’t worry about me,
Darrin.

You and Larry run along.
That’s right.

Let’s run along,
and fast.

I’ll be home early.
Very early.

I can hardly wait.

Aren’t you
forgetting something?

I don’t think so.

Darrin, give her a kiss goodbye
and let’s go.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

How long have
you two been married?

Seven years.

Remarkable.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
What’s a gorgeous girl like you
doing in a face like this?

Oh! Fantastic!

[CHUCKLES]

Darrin, I talked to Berkley
a while ago,

and I think he and his wife
are going to accept

your gracious invitation
to dinner.

He should be here any minute.

You have something dazzling
to spring on him?

Well, not exactly dazzling,
but I do--

I think I have something
sensational.

"Berkley’s Hair Tonic.

It makes your hair and your
love life easier to manage."

I don’t like it.

LARRY:
Mr. Berkley! Ha-ha-ha.
Good to see you.

That slogan
is not for my product.

Of course it isn’t.
It’s old hat.

But I was just trying
to show Stephens here

an example of
the wrong way to go.

Well, that’s right.
It’s wrong. Heh-heh!

Uh, Mr. Berkley, this is
Darrin Stephens, our top man.

Nice to see you,
Stephens.

Thanks for the invitation
to dinner.

A little short notice.

Hope the little lady
didn’t squawk.

No, not at all.

Good. Neither did mine.

And believe me,
she’s a great little squawker.

[LAUGHS]

I understand you have something
exciting to talk about.

I am aware that your sales
have slipped considerably

in the last few years,

and it’s just because the kids
are not buying hair tonic.

It’s a sign of the times.

Oh, that’s very astute.
Very astute.

You’ve just told me
what my Research Department

told me six months ago.

Stephens, it is not your job

to report
on the state of the union.

Your job is to come up with
ideas which sell my hair tonic.

Yes!
What I want is action.

And y-you’re going
to get it.

All I want is enough time
to come up with the plan

for recapturing
the youth market.

Okay, take all the time
you like,

as long as you come up
with an idea by tonight.

Gentlemen.

Oh, uh, by the way,

thanks again for the
invitation to dinner, Stephens.

Okay, sweetie.
Adam’s down for his nap.

What kind of a game
would you like to play?

[PHONE RINGING]

What’s that noise?
It’s the telephone.

There’s one in Mommy
and Daddy’s room.

Oh! Well, there’s one in here
too.

Hello?
Uh, hi, Serena.

I’m just checking in to see
if everything’s all right.

Everything’s fine.

It’s your daddy.

Adam is taking his nap,

and Tabitha and I
were just about to play a game.

Game? What kind of a game?

Well, I thought it might be fun
to play Catch a Falling Star.

Serena, can’t you play
regular games like other people?

I am not like other people.
Neither is Tabitha.

Serena, would you do me
a big favor?

It depends.

Is there any way
you can reach Samantha

and get her back here
in time for dinner tonight?

Nope.

When a witch goes in
for the 10,000-spell checkup,

she is incommunicado.

Say bye-bye to your daddy.
Bye-bye, Daddy.

I know a game we can play,
Auntie Serena. Hide-and-seek.

Neat-o! Well, we need
a whole bunch of us for that.

Oh.
I bet they’d love to play.

And Prince and Panda and Fuzz.

[LAUGHS]

And you too, Rag Doll.

[CHUCKLES]

There.
This is gonna be fun.

[LAUGHS]

Now, we are all going
to play hide-and-seek.

Scoot.

Come on, gang.
Let’s hide.

[SERENA COUNTING
IN FRENCH]

Here I come, ready or not!

Aaa-ooo!

Where is everybody?
Everybody hidden? Aaa-ooo!

Here I come! Oh, I’m looking.
I’m looking, but I’m not seeing.

Oh, my goodness.
You’re such good hiders.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, Rag Doll, Rag Doll,
I see you behind the chair.

Oh, and all the rest of you.

Oh, my goodness.
All right, all right.

And last one to tag the base
is it.

Let’s go!
I’m gonna get you. Ha-ha!

Ooh, I’m gonna catch you,
you cute little furry things.

[LAUGHS]

Here I come.

[♪♪]

DARRIN:
Serena.

Serena.

All right. Everyone
back where they belong.

There are some dolls missing,
Auntie Serena.

DARRIN:
Serena!

Well, don’t worry, sweetheart.
We’ll find them later.

You bellowed,
O Square One?

Serena, our guests will be here
in less than an hour.

How’s dinner coming?

Wow-ee.
What a worrywart.

I’m going to zap up

the exact dinner
I once cooked for Henry VIII.

Never mind, Serena.
Just something, uh, simple.

How about peanut butter,
straight, no jelly?

Is that simple enough?

How about salad, roast beef,
string beans and baked potato?

Believe me, it was more fun
cooking for Henry VIII

than it is for Ding-Dong I.

Serena, I’m going upstairs now
and get ready,

and I’d appreciate it
if you’d get with the dinner.

Haven’t you forgotten something?
What?

Don’t you give your
sweet little wife a kissy-poo

when you come home
from work?

Forget it, Serena.

Look, dum-dum,
I am not a live-in maid.

I am a wife, and I want a kiss.

I’ve had more passionate kisses
from my mother.

Uh, look, Serena,

uh, when the client and his wife
get here,

eh, promise you’ll behave.

I promise I’ll behave.
Witch’s honor.

And you’ll be nice
to the client and his wife.

And I’ll be nice to the client.
I don’t know about his wife.

Just be nice.

Dum-dum, I promised you
I’d be nice,

and nice
is what you’re going to get.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, Darrin.
Please come in.

Mrs. Berkley.
How are you doing, Mrs. Berkley?

Good evening, Stephens.
DARRIN: Mr. Berkley.

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Berkley,
this is my wife, Samantha.

How do you--?

[IN SAMANTHA’S VOICE]
Oh. Uh, how do you do, Mrs...?

Berkley.
Berkley.

How do you--?
My.

Darrin certainly
didn’t exaggerate, did he?

I didn’t?
Am I supposed to ask

what this is all about?

Oh, I couldn’t tell you.
It would just embarrass you.

If you’re going to pay him
a compliment, don’t hesitate.

He can use it.
My biggest fan.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Well, speaking of compliments,

anyone care for
a complimentary drink?

Anything. Double. Heh.

Darrin.
SERENA: Well, come in.

Make yourself comfortable.
Well, thank you.

You too.

Well, come right in

and sit down
and make yourself comfy.

There you go.

You’re not gonna keep us
in suspense.

What did your husband
tell you about Roland?

SERENA: You want me to tell you?
What’s the matter with Sam?

ROLAND: Only if you want to.
Nothing. Why?

SERENA: I want to.
Since when does Samantha

greet the client with a kiss?

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Mrs. Stephens, you’re a very
affectionate person, aren’t you?

Well, what’s wrong with that,
Martha?

You’re right,
Mrs. Berkley.

I am a very affectionate person.
I just love people.

Don’t you think people
should love people?

Listen to her, Martha.
It wouldn’t hurt.

I’ve become
terribly interested

in the, uh, new trend
of developing the senses.

Particularly touch.

Now-- Now, tell me, Roland.
Yes.

Do you feel something?

LARRY:
Yours is a martini,
Mrs. Berkley, right?

Oh, yes.
Mr. Berkley.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yes.

[CHUCKLES]

Now, Martha, let’s try.

Feel the warmth?

No, it’s cold and wet.

I have always felt that--
That people should be nice.

Don’t you think so,
Roland?

Yes. Yes-- Yes, I do.

Something else
for you to remember, Martha.

I have a feeling
I’m not going to forget

anything about tonight.

This new kick that Sam’s on,
heh, I think she’s overdoing it.

She’s not herself tonight.

Well, why don’t we come back
when she’s recovered?

Oh, nonsense, Martha.

The world is an uptight place.

People don’t express
enough warmth.

I think we should
let ourselves go.

Well, I’m for that.
Let’s go.

Oh, heavens,
Mrs. Berkley.

Don’t tell me you misunderstood
what I meant by "affection."

LARRY:
Ha-ha! Yes, Mrs. Berkley.

I mean, I hope
you didn’t misunderstand

what Samantha meant
by "affection."

What did you mean?

Sam, why don’t you let me
help you in the kitchen?

I think something’s burning.
I think it’s Martha. Hee-hee!

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Come on, Sam.
The kitchen.

Um, how about a little kiss
for the cook?

I refuse to serve dinner
until I get a kiss.

Well, I guess we’re all
pretty hungry, aren’t we?

Darrin, you kiss her.

Come on, Sam.
The kitchen.

[CHUCKLES]

Serena, if you were a mortal,
I’d wring your neck.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Easy. Don’t aggravate
my witchcraft.

Do you know what you did
in there?

You took a man who represents
a $500,000 account

and obviously
played up to him.

You asked me to promise
to be nice.

I was,
and he seemed to enjoy it.

But his wife seemed to hate it.
Goody.

Hi, sweetheart.

The winds of adversity

got through to me
on the atmospheric continuum.

I got back as soon as I could.

All right, cousin.
What are you up to?

Oh, cousin,
there is no satisfying

this mortal oaf
you’re married to.

He asked me to be nice
to the client.

I was merely being nice
to the client.

And now he’s in a snit,

and my feelings are hurt
and I’m leaving.

What’s going on?
Your beloved cousin

has been flirting
with the client

and driving his wife
up the wall.

What are you two trying to do,
sabotage the account?

Mr. and Mrs. Berkley are at
each other’s throats in there.

Well, at least
they’re still in there.

Yeah, but not for long.
I mean it, Roland.

I want you
to take me home now.

Well, not before dinner,
for heaven’s sakes.

That-- That would, eh,
hurt her feelings.

Roland.

Wait a minute.

I believe
that you’re actually jealous.

Jealous?

Of what? Of you and her?

What are you doing?
That’s it, isn’t it?

Tell the truth. You’re
a little jealous, aren’t you?

I’m not a little jealous.
Oh.

I’m a lot jealous.

Oh, Martha.

Martha, that’s the nicest thing
you’ve said to me in years.

Do--? Do you feel something?
Yes.

Okay, now we can go home.

Ooh.

Mr. and Mrs. Berkley,

I am terribly
embarrassed.

Mr. Tate just told me that
you misunderstood my intentions.

I’m the one
who’s embarrassed.

I’m afraid
I overreacted.

But you did react.

And that’s the whole point
of sensitivity awareness.

You’re doing very nicely,
Mrs. Berkley.

I am? Oh, thank you. I try.

Oh, you certainly do,
Mrs. Berkley.

Heh-heh! Now, let me
hold your hand again.

You feel something?

[♪♪]

No, but I think I saw something.

Oh, that’s no--

What is that thing?

What is it? Does it bite?
It’s Harry.

Yes, it certainly is.

Oh. I-- I-- No, not-- Not hairy.

Harry.

Oh, Harry!
Oh, Stephens, wait a minute.

I think I know
what you’re up to.

Is it okay
if I, uh, guess?

It looks like you’re
ahead of me, so guess away.

Yes. Now,
you were, uh, talking earlier

about a campaign
aimed at the young folks.

The, uh, longhairs, so to speak.

Harry is part of that campaign.
Right?

Fantastic guess.
Ha-ha-ha!

Huh, Sam?

Huh? Oh! Phenomenal.

Mr. Berkley, under all that hair
is a boy actor

who will be playing
the "before" part

in the Berkley Hair Tonic
campaign.

I thought so. Ha-ha-ha!

[LAUGHTER]

He’s cute.
Yes.

Does--?
Does he have fleas?

[ALL LAUGHING]

Oh, so sweet.
Harry.

Give me a kiss.

[GIGGLES]

Sensitive, is he?
Very sensitive.

Harry, Harry.
Come on, Harry.

You forget
how much you shed.

Come on, Stephens. Tell me, how
do you plan to use, uh, Harry?

Oh, well, Mr. Berkley,

uh, we-- We don’t want
the young people

to think that Berkley Hair Tonic
i-is against, uh, long hair.

No.

And we want to establish that,
in fact, you’re all for it.

Right.
And we also wanna establish

that the young people don’t have
to carry it to this extreme.

Yeah. How are you going

to illustrate
the, eh, better-groomed look?

Here’s how it goes.

"Why look like this?

"With Berkley Hair Tonic
and a trip to the barber,

you can look like a prince."

I think you’ve got something.

[CHUCKLES]

The boy never misses.
Brilliant, Darrin.

It was nothing.

Just another one
of Darrin’s hare-brained ideas.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, Stephens, tell this young
man to take off his fur coat.

I wanna shake his hand.
He can’t do that.

Why not?

Because he--
He’s a Method actor.

He lives his part.

Well, it’s past his bedtime,

so I’ll just take him on
upstairs.

Sweetheart, you fix the folks
another drink, okay?

Great idea. Let’s drink to
my signing with McMann & Tate.

I’ll drink to that.

Oh, darling,
I can hardly wait

to get back to our
sensitive awareness. Now.

Sam, I’d like to tell you
that I love you,

but somehow it doesn’t
seem like enough.

It’s enough. I’m not greedy.

[♪♪]