Original subtitles

[♪♪]

[DOORKNOB RATTLING]

Congratulations, sweetheart!

Sam, how did you know?

Louise called me. Why didn't you?

Aw, I wanted to tell you myself.

I should have known there was something big going on

when you told me I could get Mother to baby-sit.

- Is she here yet? - No, but she will be.

Hmm?

In the meantime, let's celebrate.

Honey, hold it. Hold it, hold it!

It's not that big a deal.

I am not the Advertising Man of the Year,

I am just one of a number

of Advertising Men of the Year

named by the Huckster's Club.

That is an honor.

Like being named the most valuable player,

or being invited to one of

Truman Capote's parties.

Well, not that much of an honor,

but it did get us invited

to a cocktail party that's being thrown

by McMann & Tate in my honor.

Ah, well, how about that?

So, don't be so modest.

Sammy, it's really not that big a deal.

Here's to Darrin Stephens,

who has just won the humility trophy.

I did have a little celebration of my own planned.

Like going out to dinner,

and dancing at the Starlight Club.

Oh!

Made reservations for--

8:00!

Huh, I'd better go up and change.

I'm very proud of you.

Thank you. Yeah!

[SINGS]

Ohhh.

He's disgusting.

Mother.

What a fantastic ego.

I thought he was being rather modest.

[LAUGHS]

Behind that façade

is the president of the Darwood Stephens Fan Club.

Mother, you have always claimed

that Darrin was a nobody.

Now that he's being honored by his peers,

you cannot stand it.

A few compliments,

people accepting Dumbo's ideas and agreeing with him.

Then you think everything he said was pure gold.

That may be true of some mortals,

but what you don't understand is Darrin is special.

Now, I'm gonna go upstairs

and lay out his dinner jacket,

and you make yourself at home.

[SNICKERS]

On the morrow Praise will heap

High upon That mortal creep

Then my daughter You will see

Just how humble He can be

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

From this day on You will find

Mortals bending To your mind

You will have A glow of charm

Extending twice Your outstretched arm

Mortals Who in this circle be

No matter what you say Agree

Now, my boy

We'll see We'll see

Good morning, Miss Willis.

Did you get that report out last night?

Yes, but I'm still hung up on your "good morning."

What?

Everyone says hello when they come in,

and it doesn't mean much.

But when you say good morning, it--

Well, it just lights up the office.

Well, um, thank you very much, Miss Willis.

All I said was good morning.

- Darrin? - Yeah, Lar.

O.J. Slocum's in my office, being impossible.

Well, would you like me to see what I can do with him?

Look, if the old smoothie here can't handle him,

what could you do?

No, I just came in

to rest a little between rounds.

On the other hand,

why don't you give him a try.

Whatever you say.

Well, you do have a kind of a...

Something about you.

A-- An air of confidence.

You know, maybe it's

that hokey award you won.

- Ha, ha, ha. - Thanks.

I don't know, though.

You know, Slocum can be a real bear.

He might just tear you to shreds.

[LAUGHING] Larry, if you enjoy suffering,

don't let me interfere with your fun.

No, maybe you're right.

You-- You've got a kind of

glow of success about you today.

All right, Darrin, sic 'em, huh?

Yeah.

Air of confidence?

Glow of success?

Hello, Mr. Slocum.

Goodbye, Stephens.

Trying to double-team me

with one of your junior partners, huh?

Oh, no, of course not, O.J.

I don't deal with junior partners.

But, uh, tell me

what you have in mind, Stephens.

Oh, well, thank you, sir.

I'm a reasonable man,

and I feel a warmth from you.

The right chemistry.

Now, let me have your thoughts.

Well, um...

Mr. Slocum, I think that our job

is, uh, to take your thoughts,

give them sales appeal, in our own way,

and extend that through all the advertising media.

Exactly.

I think he has a positive way of putting things.

I like that.

Yes, of course.

But what, in a positive way, were you referring to

that he was putting?

Join the party, Tate.

He said, take my thoughts, give them sales appeal

and extend them through all the advertising media.

Oh.

Oh, yes!

I'm hip!

How about a little brainstorming?

Well, um, Mr. Slocum,

this is a little short notice, uh...

Come on, now.

What do you think of when I say, "soup"?

Oh, wait a minute.

I may have something.

I like it, but it might be

too obvious.

No, no, I have a feeling I'll like it too.

- Go ahead. - Who, me?

I'm thinking of showing

the big family that makes your soup.

The bean dumpers, the chili shovelers,

the salters, the pepperers,

the stirrers, the strainers,

the canners, the labelers.

A group picture, you follow?

Yes, yes, I do.

Underneath,

the caption might read,

"We're nuts about our soup."

We're nuts about our soup.

It tastes good to me.

Well, maybe I got lucky.

Stephens, I want you to know

that I'm nuts

about your suggestion.

[LAUGHS]

Best idea that's come out of McMann & Tate in years.

Thank you, sir.

Now I know why you were voted whatever it was.

We're nuts about our soup?

You know, on second thought...

Yes, sir?

On second thought, I like it even better.

I want you to take personal charge

of this campaign, Stephens.

All right, sir.

[WHISTLES]

How about that?!

I don't think that was such a great idea.

It's not that bad.

Wait a minute.

Say it again.

We're nuts about our soup.

It's got a ring to it.

[PHONE BUZZES]

Yes?

MISS WILLIS: It's Mr. McMann calling.

My weekly get-on-the-ball call.

Uh, will you excuse me?

I'd better take it alone.

Put him on.

MISS WILLIS: He wants to speak to Mr. Stephens.

Oh.

Yes, sir.

Of course.

Tomorrow morning?

Oh, uh, my pleasure, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Well, back to the old drawing board.

[LAUGHS]

- Darrin? - Yeah, Larry.

What was that all about?

Oh, uh, Mr. McMann wants to see me

on his yacht tomorrow morning.

But he's my partner.

What does he wanna see you for?

I guess he wants to congratulate me

on being one of the Advertising Men of the Year.

Well, he can do that tomorrow night

at the cocktail party.

I don't know of any other reason why.

I do.

He'll do anything to bug me.

You know, it's funny.

You make one little breakthrough

and suddenly they all recognize you

for what you really are.

What's that?

Well, you know what you were saying

about me this morning.

Oh, they recognize you

for a sweet and loving husband?

No.

You know how you always tell me I'm smart

and talented and creative.

And modest.

Honey, I can't help it.

Did I tell you about O.J. Slocum?

Twice, but who's counting?

Larry thought I'd be eaten up alive, but no.

Right off the top of my head,

I had it.

We're nuts about our soup.

We're nuts about our soup?

Slocum was stunned.

So am I.

Well, honey, I don't say it's the...

greatest phrase in the world,

but it's got something.

It's got, um...

It's got, uh...

Mediocrity?

Well, sweetheart, it really isn't that--

Everybody loved it.

Now, don't get grumpy.

What do I know about the advertising business?

Yeah.

Anyway, in the afternoon,

I practically sewed up a new candy account.

It was one of those great days

when everybody was going along with me,

and I have a feeling

it's going to keep on going that way.

Bravo.

Tomorrow morning I see Mr. McMann on his yacht,

and from then on it's going to be

up, up, up!

Good, good, good.

Who knows where it'll end.

Maybe someday I'll become president.

Of McMann & Tate?

No, president.

Oh, uh, thank you.

Well, Stephens, glad to have you aboard.

Glad to be aboard, sir.

Would you like a cup of my special coffee, Stephens?

Uh, thank you, sir.

Pour, Gregory.

Yes, sir.

Let me congratulate you

on being chosen one of the Advertising Men of the Year.

And I might add that you reek

of the magnetic personality

that goes into the making of great men.

Oh, well, that's especially complimentary

coming from you, Mr. McMann.

Did you know that I was the first

Advertising Man of the Year, 25 years ago?

No, that's quite an honor, sir.

Not really.

I started the thing and elected myself.

[LAUGHS]

That's very good.

[COUGHS]

What's in-- What's in this?

151-proof rum.

How do you like it?

It's delightful.

Four parts rum and one part coffee.

Coffee does wonderful things to rum.

Ha, ha.

- Sit down. - Yes, sir.

It's a funny thing, you know.

I, uh-- I asked you over here

to, uh, give you, uh, ordinary congratulations.

Meeting you again, I see that it's

a great deal more than that.

You are the crown prince of McMann & Tate.

Well, that's very flattering, Mr. McMann, but--

Now, now, now, none of that modesty.

It doesn't fit in at all with the high voltage personality

that's coming across to me.

I always wondered

who was behind McMann & Tate.

Now I know.

Aren't you forgetting Larry Tate?

I've tried,

but I've never been able to.

Larry has a lot of good qualities.

He's hard-working.

He's not impressed by facts.

He's slippery.

He lies beautifully.

And he's got a nice head of hair.

But he's had it.

Frankly, deep down, he's shallow.

With all due respect, sir, I disagree.

I know Larry pretty well, and--

Now, I know that you're loyal, Darrin,

but it's time that Larry turned over his surfboard to you

and let a younger man ride the wave of the future.

Remember, Larry gets a cut on every account you bring in.

Well, that's, uh, true.

Actually, you'll be doing him a favor.

It's, uh, a nice way of looking at it.

Well, there's always a nice way

of looking at things.

Well, I'm going to start on Project Stephens.

And, uh, don't you worry about Larry.

He'll be in line for a big bonus.

I'm just happy to find a man

that has what I like to call

rememberability.

That's the human version of product identification.

Uh, thank you very much, sir.

I do have a lot of ideas

I'd like to carry out.

I wanna see McMann & Tate

ready for the future.

That's the way I like to hear you talking.

I like the way you said that.

Well, I'll be seeing you at the party tonight

for our Advertising Man of the Year.

Sir.

Well, there goes an impressive

young man, Gregory.

I thought so too, sir.

Yeah, but for the life of me

I don't know why I'm impressed.

I hope that's a good sign.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Oh, hi, sweetheart!

How'd the meeting go with Mr. McMann?

I bowled him over.

I dazed him.

Sam, he said I'm going to be

the crown prince of McMann and Tate.

Terrific.

That makes me a princess.

I'll wear a tiara tonight.

I'm not kidding, Sam.

I'm on my way to the top.

McMann realized I've got it.

And, uh, you thought I was overreacting, didn't you?

Well, I was beginning to suspect something.

What about Larry?

Oh, he's going to come off just fine.

Uh, look, I'll be home early to change for the party.

Yes, Your Excellency.

Mother?

Mother!

Mother, I know you're up to something!

Oh, you're a wicked witch.

[MEN CHUCKLING]

Yes, Mrs. Stephens, you're gonna be very proud of friend hubby.

Impact, that's what he's got.

Impact.

Is that what it is?

I thought it was sex appeal.

Well, that I'm not willing to judge.

You don't drink, Mr. McMann?

Uh, well, only coffee.

Hello, McMann.

Oh, uh, Mrs. Stephens,

this is Charles Gilbert,

the head of the Hercules Tractor Company.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

And Darrin Stephens, our young executive

who's been voted one of this year's

you-know-whats.

How do you do, sir?

Why, I'm happy to know you, Mr. Stephens.

I wish you'd sit in on our next conference.

Well, things are kind of piling up on me, and--

He's just full of ideas.

I really don't have the time.

You see, Mr. Stephens, we sell our tractors

to the man who has made America great.

The common man.

And right now,

you're coming across to me

as the man who could speak his language.

- Hercules Tractor, huh? - Mmm-hmm.

Impact, that's what he's got.

I see a picture.

A picture of a tractor pulling a stump.

The caption reads...

It reads...

"Let Herc give it a jerk."

It's great.

I love it.

Let Herc give it a jerk?

It's amazing.

Right off the top of his head.

It's a very fertile area.

They loved it.

Yes, but, sweetheart,

it really isn't that good.

If McMann, Gilbert and I

think it's good, it's good.

Right.

Darrin.

Samantha.

This is Mr. Angel,

who makes that wonderful brew,

Angel Coffee.

Samantha and Darrin Stephens.

How do you do?

How do you do, sir?

You're that fellow, aren't you?

Okay, Stephens, do it.

Uh, do what?

If you're that good, give me an idea

for our new campaign.

Oh, um, more coffee,

and don't put so much coffee in it this time.

Doesn't he get a chance

to think about it a little first?

I'm thinking about it now.

How about, "The good, good morning flavor

that makes getting out of bed worthwhile."

- Marvelous. - Great.

Brains.

Fantastic.

You have a higher duty than McMann & Tate.

Our government

needs men like you.

Have you ever thought of running

for congressman or senator?

No, but he's thought of running for president.

That's what I wanted to hear.

I'd like you to lead

a middle-of-the-road party.

I'll back you.

Think about it, Mr. Stephens.

Think about it.

Sam, did you hear that?

With both ears.

Of course, it's ridiculous.

I'm not ready for that yet.

What do you think?

I think we should go

while we can still get your head

through the door.

I should think that you would be happy

that other people are beginning

to appreciate my special talent.

But, oh, no! You have--

- Mother! - Huh?

Sweetheart, why don't you sit down

and plan who's going to be in your cabinet.

I have a few questions I want to ask Mother.

Oh, darling. I'm sorry,

but I must leave immediately.

My club is having a costume party

and I'm going as Twiggy.

Not yet.

I figured it out.

You didn't put a spell on Darrin.

You put one around him, didn't you?

A spell?

Does that mean I'm not really

one of the Advertising Men of the Year?

No, no, of course not.

Mother cast a spell that affects all mortals around you.

They are overwhelmed by anything you say.

Then I don't have impact

and rememberability and all that?

And you said it wouldn't go to his head.

[LAUGHS]

Mother was right, wasn't she?

No.

Now you remove that spell this instant.

But dumb-dumb loves it.

I do not.

Oh...well.

Edgeful, eyeful Trifle, tree

This removes The spell round thee.

Thank you.

I thought I had some good ideas tonight.

Sweetheart, how often have you had really good ideas

right off the top of your head?

Not very often.

They were always the result of a lot of hard work.

Nothing worthwhile comes that easily.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

It'll probably take all night,

but why don't you go into the study

and come up with some good ideas

to sell those clients tomorrow.

Uh-huh.

Goodnight, Mr. President.

[SIGHS]

No, no, I'm sorry, gentlemen.

There's something I like about,

"That good, good morning flavor

that makes getting out of bed worthwhile."

I don't know why I like it, but it impresses me.

Maybe I just impressed you.

No, I'm not particularly impressed by you.

I'm not, either.

Excuse me, I'll be back

in a moment.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

How are the new ideas going?

They still like the bad ones.

I can't sell them the good stuff.

Honey, can, uh, can you put that you-know-what

back on you-know-who, just temporarily?

Well, uh...

Well, okay.

Is that it?

Uh, that's it. Goodbye, honey.

Believe me, Mr. Angel.

I can't explain why Darrin

has gone sour on these ideas,

but, well, sometimes it happens

to creative people.

Darrin, Mr. Angel and I agree

that you completely lost your judgment.

Mr. Angel, I'm going to tell you this new idea

just once more,

and I want you to listen

as if you were hearing it for the first time.

Nothing can make me listen to that again.

Oh, no?

Except a man like you.

Go ahead.

- I see a cloud. - Mmm-hmm.

On the cloud are a couple of angels

drinking Angel Coffee.

Yes, yes, I like it.

From their expressions,

you can see the coffee is sublime.

I like it very much.

Underneath it says,

"By special permission this heavenly brew

is now available

to deserving people on Earth."

The greatest!

I don't know why

I didn't see that before.

Well, I've heard all I have to hear.

Carry on, gentlemen.

Well, goodbye, Mr. Angel.

We'll keep in touch.

- Bye-bye. - Bye.

Goodbye, sir.

That was great, Darrin.

Thanks, Lar.

Send the next customer in.

We're rolling, Larry.

Ha, ha.

You through with that spell now?

Throw it away.

Hmm.

We talked six different clients

out of bad ideas and into good ideas.

And I talked Mr. Ramser

into finding another presidential candidate.

Good. I only wanna be your first lady.

Even without a spell,

I do have a little witchcraft

of my own, and a talent for persuading people.

After all, I persuaded you

to marry me, didn't I?

Oh, that you did.

That alone is enough to make me

Advertising Man of the Year.

In my opinion,

- you are man of the century. - Hmm.

But, uh, don't let it go to your head.

It went to my head.

- Ha. - Mmm.

[♪♪]