Original subtitles

"And then Prince Charming bent over Sleeping Beauty

"and kissed her.

"Her eyes fluttered and opened.

"There was joy and wonder in them as she beheld the prince.

"'Oh, Prince Charming,' she sighed.

"'I've waited so long for you.'

"Soon after, their marriage was celebrated

"throughout the kingdom,

and they lived happily ever after."

And then what?

That's all.

No, read more.

Well, there's no more to read, Sweetheart.

They got married, and that was the end.

The end of the story, I mean.

You stop stalling, young lady. Lie down.

And shut your eyes.

And go to sleep.

Shut.

Surprise.

Mother, I wish you wouldn't do that.

Not that I mind,

but you know how Darrin objects.

I also know that he's gone out of town on business.

And I've come to help you celebrate.

I thought a nice weekend on the Riviera.

You, Tabatha and me.

We would also have to include

Louise and Larry Tate,

and Darrin's cousin Helen and her boyfriend,

because that's who's coming for dinner.

Oh, how revolting.

So, It's been nice seeing you, Mother.

Ah! You're going to throw me out?

I'd be delighted if you'd stay,

but they'll be here any minute,

so would you mind changing?

Of course not.

Oh, lovely.

Thank you, darling. Oh, that is lovely.

[♪♪]

Book.

And then what happened?

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

You won't mind being bartender,

will you, Larry?

In Darrin's absence, it's the least I can do.

Especially since you are responsible for his absence.

If I didn't know you better, Sam,

I'd think you were kidding.

Larry says we've met Helen,

but I don't recall her.

Oh, yes.. Yes, you met her.

She's the one that brought that baseball player

to our Christmas party a couple of years ago.

The one with the great strikeout record.

I thought he was a catcher.

I'm talking about Helen.

Well, the truth is that she hasn't been

very lucky with men, poor girl.

And I think she's kind of hoping to impress

this latest candidate

with the joys of married life.

Remember that.

Don't worry.

Fortunately, I've had quite a bit

of acting experience.

Samantha. Yes?

Oh, how do you do? Endora, how are you?

Could you excuse yourself a moment, Samantha?

Well, Helen and her friend will be here any second.

Just the same,

I think you'd better tear yourself away.

Oh. Ah, excuse me.

Her mother visits her an awful lot,

doesn't she?

Yes, but at least she waits

until her son-in-law's out of town.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hi, Helen. Hi.

Remember me? Larry Tate? Of course.

Samantha will be down in a moment.

This is Ralph.

Nice to meet you, Ralph.

Come in.

And this is my wife, Louise.

Hi. Hello there.

Won't you sit down?

Oh, Mother,

you have to do something.

I can't have him roaming around here

with a house full of company.

There's nothing I can do, Samantha.

For some reason, Tabatha can't seem to work

the spell in reverse.

Oh...

Tabatha, how often have I warned you

about this sort of thing?

Please, do not blame the dear child.

She was merely curious.

And she's so lovely.

So like her mother in beauty and grace.

Personally, I think the child

is remarkably advanced.

And I'm not saying that because I'm prejudiced.

You should be very proud of your niece.

Granddaughter.

No. Impossible.

The story doesn't mention

where you're from, Prince Charming.

But there must have been a lot of oil on the property.

For the time being,

Would you please step in here?

Of course, dear lady.

[♪♪]

That is not going to help, Samantha.

Why?

That's why.

Samantha, he has no substance.

Have you forgotten?

He's a product of witchcraft.

Oh, no.

Mother, what am I going to do?

I hope you won't think me too forward.

But it would give me great pleasure to join your company.

It's so dull being confined to the pages of a book.

Always the same old faces.

Yes. Um...

Nothing against you, but-- [KNOCK AT DOOR]

Uh...Yes?

HELEN [IN HALL]: Couldn't I please see the baby

before she goes to sleep?

Just a moment!

I hope you don't mind.

Dear lady, to make you happy

is the object of my existence.

Come in.

I hope you don't mind,

but I haven't seen the baby since--

[♪♪]

Mother,

this is Darrin's cousin, Helen.

Oh, hi, Helen.

Helen, this is my cousin, Charlie.

How do you do?

It's a great pleasure

to meet you, dear lady. [GIGGLES]

Oh, my.

I just know I'm blushing.

Do you mind if I say that the bloom of your cheek

rivals the rosy dawn?

Oh, no, go ahead and say it.

Helen, did you want

to say goodnight to Tabatha?

Who? Oh, of course.

Hi.

My, how she's grown.

Helen, I really think we should go down

and join the others.

I just love the English.

Especially English men.

Mother,

haven't you any suggestions at all?

Just one.

What's that?

Set another place for dinner.

Guess who dropped by unexpectedly?

My cousin, Charlie.

This is Louise Tate.

Charmed.

Samantha,

where have you been hiding him?

This is Larry Tate.

A great honor, sir. Hi.

And you must be Ralph.

My mother.

How do you do? And Cousin Charlie.

A great pleasure to meet you, sir.

Likewise.

Well, dinner won't be too long.

Please sit down.

Larry, would you freshen this drink?

Yes.

Well, um...

Dear ladies,

as I cannot divide myself,

suppose I give you instead

my undivided attention?

What a marvelous sense of humor.

You're very kind,

but a sense of humor is useless

until it falls on a receptive ear.

I can't get over the feeling

that I've seen you before.

PRINCE CHARMING: How happy that makes me.

For is not familiarity

the doorstep to friendship?

What'd he say?

You got me.

I have to do something

to divert Helen's attention

from the Prince.

Well, I'd suggest an earthquake,

but I doubt if it would work.

I think I'll try some nice loud music.

[WHISPERING] Yes.

Oh, good.

I was just in the mood for dancing.

I thought Larry didn't like to dance.

He doesn't.

[SLOW MELODY PLAYING]

Oh, that one's perfect.

Oh, Charlie!

[GIDDY LAUGHTER]

You're making a fool of yourself.

Jealous?

Of him?

You could learn a couple of things from him.

What?

How to smile and say nothing?

It would be an improvement.

Ralph, can I get you another drink?

Oh, thanks.

Could you make that a double?

Say, can I ask you something? Mm-hm.

Is that guy for real?

[GIGGLES] What a marvelous dancer you are.

And my I say that you, dear lady,

dance as if the air were your home.

Oh?

What do you mean?

Well, he talks and he talks,

but he doesn't say anything.

Well, for your information,

he won't be staying long.

That makes two of us.

You know,

you're just too good to be true.

Oh, look. A full moon.

Let's dance out there.

She may have problems,

but being shy isn't one of them.

If she isn't careful,

she's going to be shy one man.

Excuse me.

Where's Ralph?

I'd better find him and talk to him.

He might be a little upset.

Too late. And he was.

What do you mean?

He just left.

Oh, no.

You're a regular David Niven.

SAMANTHA: Helen. Yes.

I think you should know,

Ralph just left.

Ralph who?

Well, it's wonderful to hear your voice, Darrin.

Oh, everything's just fine.

Cousin Helen?

Oh, she had a wonderful time last night.

You're coming home when? Late tonight?

Well, if I sound funny, it's just because I miss you.

[SMOOCHING] Me too.

Bye.

Did you hear that?

I did, and I thought it was revolting.

Mother, he is coming home tonight.

And you haven't done one thing

about getting the Prince back in the book.

Well, please don't get overwrought.

And above all, don't lose your sense of humor.

There's a funny side to everything.

Oh really?

Can you see the look on Darrin's face

if he comes home and the Prince is still here?

See? There is a funny side.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, hi, Sam.

Sorry to bust in on you so early, but--

Oh, good morning, Endora.

--but I just had to speak to you

before I went to the office.

Oh? About what?

Your cousin Charlie.

I tell you I couldn't sleep a wink last night.

Oh, Larry, you don't think Louise

was seriously interested in him?

No, but she was pretty darned intrigued,

wouldn't you say?

Well, maybe.

But I don't think you have to worry about Louise.

Well, who's worried about her?

You're not? Then what kept you up?

Well, that's what I want to talk to you about.

Can we go into the den?

Excuse us.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Helen. Hi.

I hope you don't mind my dropping in like this

so early in the morning,

but I think I left my gloves here.

You weren't wearing gloves.

Oh, no wonder I didn't have them

when I got home.

Well, as long as I'm here,

do you mind if I stay to have a cup of Charlie?

I mean, coffee?

Samantha, you don't understand these things,

but take it from me,

this cousin of yours is dynamite.

I won't deny he's got something.

But how can you and Darrin use it?

One of our big problem clients,

and Darrin's the account executive,

is Abigail Adams Cosmetics.

Know how many guys they've turned down

to do their commercials?

You don't mean

you're going to recommend him to do their commercials.

No, I'm going to recommend him to work in the mail room.

That would be better, Larry.

Sam, come on, get with it.

We've got hold of a guy who's dynamite with women.

Yes, it's certainly worth thinking about.

So why don't you wait and discuss it with Darrin

when he gets back tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

Sam, I'm so sure of this, I've set up a camera audition

for 11:00 this morning.

This morning?

Today, this morning?

The client's going to meet us at the studio,

with his wife, at my suggestion.

So tell Charlie to grab his coat and come on.

Now, wait a minute, Larry.

I mean, don't you think you ought to find out

if cousin Charlie's interested?

I thought you said he was between jobs.

Well-- You realize

what kind of income these commercials bring?

Now come on, let's stop wasting time.

Would you like some coffee?

Thanks, but no time for that now.

Where's Charlie?

Out on the patio with Helen.

Excuse me.

[WHISPERING] What's going on?

I just love a man who loves children.

I think it's such an important quality

in a husband--

father--

man!

There you are. Good morning.

Charlie, may I tell you what a lucky man you are?

You mean they're going to put him in front of a camera?

Yes.

Oh, that should be delicious.

I'd love to be there when it happens.

Or rather, when it doesn't happen.

What do you mean?

Well, the Prince can't appear on the telly.

He has no substance.

Oh, Mother,

this is no time for character analysis.

Oh, Samantha, I've never known you to be so dense.

Haven't I already told you that the Prince

is only a projection?

That he is a creature of witchcraft?

You put him in front of a camera,

and there won't be an image.

Well, then he won't get the job, and--

You mean the screen will be blank?

Exactly.

Larry!

Oh, isn't it exciting about Charlie?

Where is he?

Did he go upstairs? Did Larry go with him?

He went with him, but they're not upstairs.

Where are they?

On the way to the TV studio.

Oh, no.

Mother! ENDORA: What?

Mother, will you please watch Tabatha.

I have to go after them.

Oh?! Could I possibly drive down with you?

I'm not driving.

I've got to fly. Oh.

Fly?

I don't very often go out on a limb,

but I can practically guarantee

this fellow will put Abigail Adams Cosmetics

in the number one spot.

Believe me, Mr. Blumberg.

Well, I'm willing to be shown.

But I do wish you'd brought your wife along.

Then she'd prove my point.

But I did bring her.

MRS. BLUMBERG: As far as I'm concerned,

I think you'll be perfect for the job.

If I can merely approach your expectations,

it will be my special joy, dear lady.

In fact, I think you'll be more than perfect.

See what I mean?

Now, why don't you go get your wife,

and let's go into the booth, hm?

Samantha, I would have waited for you

if I'd known you wanted to come along.

Well, it isn't that I wanted to--

They haven't started yet, have they?

Just about to.

What is it, Sam? You seem a little upset.

Who? Me?

No, no. I'm perfectly relaxed and calm.

Larry, you have to call off this audition.

Well, why?

Now, look. It's something about Charlie.

Don't ask me what it is.

But if you put him in front of a camera,

you're going to be very embarrassed.

[WHISPERING] And this is very confidential.

What is?

What I just told you.

What did you tell me?

DIRECTOR [OVER P.A.]: Okay, Al, put him in the chair.

AL: Right.

I want to wish you all the luck.

Since I've met you, fortune has already smiled.

If you ask me, he's some kind of nut.

You should be such a nut.

DIRECTOR: What's happening, Al?

Why isn't he in the chair?

AL [ON P.A.]: He is.

I mean the black leather one.

AL [OVER P.A.]: That's the one he's in.

Well, what do you think?

Of what?

Well, how does he look to you?

Frankly, I don't know what they see in him.

Me, neither.

How you doing?

Well, we're having a little strabismus trouble, Mr. Tate.

I'm afraid we'll have to

postpone the audition.

[♪♪]

Mother!

Oh, there you are.

How did it go, darling?

Well, fortunately, it didn't.

They thought there was something wrong

with their equipment.

Oh, what a shame.

It would have made a delightful

conversation piece.

Yes,

and when Darrin found out about it,

he would have a fit.

As I say, what a shame.

Have you made any progress with Tabatha?

Who had a chance?

Elena hasn't left me alone for a moment.

It's Helen.

Oh, well, whatever her name is,

she certainly knows how to keep a conversation ho-humming.

[YAWN]

Is she upstairs?

Well, I'll get rid of her.

We have to get the Prince back in the book

before Darrin gets home.

Oh, please. I beg of you, don't send me back.

Sorry Charlie, but I don't have any choice.

Besides, you'll be much happier there.

No, I won't. I like it here.

Everyone's so kind.

Especially the ladies.

I don't want to go back.

Well, for your information,

you don't have any choice, either.

ENDORA: Samantha, I hate to say you're wrong,

but you're wrong.

Pardon?

Now I realize what the problem's been all along.

It isn't that Tabatha's not performing the spell properly.

But it can't work if he doesn't want to go back.

Mother, I hope this isn't another one of your

questionable jokes.

If I'm not telling the truth,

may I never enjoy another glass of wolfsbane on the rocks.

What about Sleeping Beauty?

Who?

Now who's joking?

No. No, I don't think he is.

I'll be back in a minute.

Oh...

Gad, you're beautiful.

If only you were a little more inhuman.

I'll go right down.

Oh, would you mind

if I called my mother in Buffalo

and reverse the charges?

I really ought to tell her about Charlie.

Helen,

why don't you wait till later?

You mean when the rates change?

Well, when somethin' changes.

Oh.

Do you have any objections to a big wedding?

SAMANTHA [UPSTAIRS]: Mother, would you and Charlie

come up here for a minute?

Very well.

Mind if I borrow him for just a little bit?

Oh.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Will you see who that is, please?

Oh, of course.

Oh.

How did you know I was here?

They told me at the hotel.

I just wanted to s--

Well, anyway, I'm sorry I left last night

without saying anything.

Oh, that's okay.

RALPH: No, it's not.

I shouldn't have left without telling you,

I think you're one of the rudest girls I ever met.

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

Well, that's the way I feel.

I'm just glad that I found out in time.

Look, if the only reason--

What do you mean, "found out in time"?

You think I want to marry somebody

that runs after every pretty face she sees?

Marry?

Ralph, dear, don't stand out there.

You'll catch your death of cold.

It's who?

Sleeping Beauty, who else?

You see, Tabatha zapped him out of the middle of the book.

He didn't know about the end of the story.

See what you get if you go back?

Well, go ahead.

[♪♪]

Do you still want to stay here?

As you people say, "are you kidding?"

In that case...

All right, Sweetheart.

Uh-huh...

Ah.

Ha! Very good.

And they lived happily ever after.

Right.

Now it's my turn.

Now remember Tabatha,

under no circumstances whatsoever

are you to do that again.

Now, do you understand?

Do you understand?

Yes, Mommy. [SNICKERS]

Well, it could have been worse.

Suppose you'd been reading her one of the Babar books?

Well, at least Helen wouldn't have flipped

over an elephant.

Which reminds me,

how am I going to tell her about Charlie?

Ah. My suggestion is straight shock treatment.

Behave yourself.

TABATHA: Yes, Mommy.

Helen?

Helen?

Yes?

Charlie is gone, Helen.

And he's not coming back.

Charlie who?

I've got something to tell you, too.

Guess who's getting married.

Us.

[♪♪]

Would you say she's rather fickle?

Maybe so.

But I'm sure she'll never forget

cousin what's his name.

[♪♪]