Original subtitles

Oh, dear.

No. Not fair.

(CLATTERING)

(CLATTERING CONTINUES)

Oh, dear.

Aunt Clara! Easy. I’m sorry, Samantha.

I’m sorry. I thought I was popping into the kitchen.

Don’t worry about a thing. You only missed by a few feet.

Oh, yes. Oh, it’s distressing. What?

It’s distressing. What?

Oh, dear. You know, I used to pop in on the dime.

Hmm. Oh, but when you get old,

you know, the, uh, equipment... The navigation equipment...

You know, it’s not what it was. Oh, oh! Yes, well.

Yeah, so I see. Come on in. Come on in.

You come in and sit down. (CHUCKLING)

There you go. Oh, go on, go on.

Do just what you were doing. (CHUCKLES)

What are you doing?

Trying to fix this lamp, but I think I’ve got it wired wrong.

Oh, dear. Now do be careful.

Electricity is a very tricky thing,

with all the watts and the ohms and the... And the...

(LAUGHS) I’ll call an electrician.

Oh, no. Don’t bother, Aunt Clara.

Darrin will look at it when he gets home.

I’m gonna go take a look at Tabatha. You just relax.

Wait till you see how she’s grown. Yes.

Yes. No bother. No bother at all.

Hark ye, hark ye,

ye Witches who live in lamps,

ye powers of watts and ohms and amps,

wizards of AC/DC transmission,

send to me an electrician.

(CHUCKLES) (SCREAMS)

It worked!

Benjamin Franklin at your service, madam.

Oh! (CHUCKLES)

Samantha, the electrician’s arrived.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Uh, here’s the lamp, Mr. Franklin.

Madam, who are you? What manner of contraption is that?

(SIGHS) It’s an ordinary lamp, and we want you to fix it.

Excuse me, madam. Who are you?

Benjamin Franklin, madam, at your service, but...

Benjamin Franklin?

Aunt Clara, what have you done?

FRANKLIN: Ladies, I fear you have the advantage.

You seem to recognize me,

yet I don’t know you or where I am

or, for that matter, how I came to be here.

Are you really Benjamin Franklin?

Madam, although a prudent man should be miserly

with those things he holds to be certain,

I can assure you that I am indeed he!

Uh, Samantha, you know, electricians cost $7.50 an hour.

Aunt Clara. Aunt Clara, do you know what you’ve done?

You’ve brought back Benjamin Franklin, the famous one.

Now, all he did was experiment with electricity. He wouldn’t know how to fix a lamp.

He wouldn’t know how to fix a lamp?

Shocking.

Um, uh, Mr. Franklin.

I’m Samantha Stephens,

And this is my Aunt Clara.

Enchante, madame. (SPEAKING FRENCH)

Oh, merci! (SPEAKING FRENCH)

What did he say? Uh, what did you say, I mean?

Oh, "we’re pleased to meet each other" in French, Aunt Clara.

You see, in Mr. Franklin’s time, people often spoke French

when they wanted to be very polite.

In my time, madam?

In my time? How come you...

How come you to say my time as if it were far-removed from your own?

Forgive me, but I am perplexed.

Well, I don’t blame you.

Forgive us.

Um, Mr. Franklin,

this is 20th-century America.

But that’s impossible.

It’s against the laws of nature!

Want to see a calendar?

And yet I confess,

I find myself in strange surroundings,

the room filled with devices I’ve never seen before.

Can it be...

Is it possible that modern science has advanced so far

as to be capable of transporting a man from one century to another?

Well, yes, I suppose you could put it that way.

That’s fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.

You mentioned the word electricity earlier.

I’m... I’m curious.

I dealt with some of the natural phenomena of electricity.

I... I wonder, did anything come of it?

Electricity, Mr. Franklin.

But that’s... That’s astounding!

It’s astounding!

Oh, it does work. It works!

Oh, there were those in my day who would have clapped me in the stocks

for dealing with witchcraft. (CHUCKLES)

Oh... Oh... Well, I remember...

Aunt Clara, let’s get Mr. Franklin some coffee from the kitchen.

Oh, don’t trouble yourself, ladies.

Although, if you should happen to have a tankard of ale...

(MOANS) Why, Mr. Franklin,

somehow I never thought of you as a drinking man.

Well, drinking doesn’t improve our faculties, it’s true, but it helps.

(GIGGLES)

Come on, Aunt Clara.

Aunt Clara, you have to get rid of him...

Nicely, of course.

Now, Samantha, he hasn’t fixed the lamp, you know.

Aunt Clara, he isn’t an ordinary electrician.

He’s Benjamin Franklin, and he doesn’t belong here.

Well, um, I suppose you’re right.

(CHUCKLES) Yes, I’ve done it again.

Hmm? I’ve gone and witched the whole thing up.

Oh, no, no, you haven’t at all.

It was just a little mistake in judgment.

As a matter of fact, I’m rather impressed that you were able to get him here.

It was a bit of the old Clara, wasn’t it?

(BOTH CHUCKLING) Oh, yes, you can still teach me a thing or two.

And I’m sure you can get rid of him just as easily.

Well, I don’t know.

It’s much harder to reverse the spell, you know. Ah, yes, I know.

Well, Aunt Clara, you just stay in here and concentrate.

I’ll go outside and entertain Mr. Franklin.

(MUMBLES) Concentrate.

Ooh, forgot. One tankard of ale coming up.

DARRIN: Hi, honey. (DOOR CLOSES)

Hi.

Well, that’s a fine way to greet a husband after a hard day at work.

Well, what’s that? Oh...

And who is that? This is a tankard of ale.

DARRIN: Sam, who is he? What have you done?

Well...

Saman... Samantha... Oh, he’s still here.

I thought I had it. Oh.

Mr. Stephens, I presume.

I’m proud to make the acquaintance of such a charming lady’s husband

and an enlightened gentleman of the 20th century.

I thought I’d sent him back. I might have known. Samantha!

Uh, darling, dinner will be ready in about an hour.

Why don’t you just relax and have a nice chatty evening with Benjamin Franklin?

Benjamin Franklin?

That’s right.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

At the risk of your thinking me a vain and foolish old man,

can you tell me... Has anything happened to the...

To the innovations that I... I began in Philadelphia?

Well, as you can see, electricity has caught on pretty well.

Oh, we showed him that first thing. Yes!

FRANKLIN: Oh, yes, and I am delighted, of course.

Although, I’m still very much in the dark about light.

He hasn’t fixed the lamp yet, you know.

Uh, when I was in Philadelphia,

I began... I began an experiment of lending books

which I called the public library.

Every city has one. SAM: New York City alone has over 50 branches.

Oh, Mr. Franklin, so many of your inventions have become household words,

well, it’s hard to tell you how important they are.

The public library, the fire department,

the rocking chair, bifocals.

Uh, (STAMMERS) Mr. Franklin,

uh, did you start the fire engine?

I started the fire department, madam, yes.

Oh. Darrin!

I have a wonderful idea.

Instead of trying to tell all of this to Mr. Franklin, why don’t we show him?

Tomorrow, Aunt Clara and I can take him on a tour of the town.

Well, that’s a splendid idea, madam. Sam, no.

Oh. (STAMMERS) Now, Darrin,

I think it would be much simpler, you know.

Have you two taken leave of your senses?

In case you’ve forgotten, Mr. Franklin did not exactly get here by bus!

But, Darrin, no one has to know how he got here. He could...

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Stay right where you are. I’ll get that.

Darrin? Larry!

LARRY: Am I too early? DARRIN: Early? For what?

For anything. I’m just dropping in.

T-tonight? Yeah. How’d you guess?

Well, Larry, as a matter of fact... Still at dinner, huh?

That’s all right. I’ll just have a drink while you finish.

Hi, Larry. My, it’s nice to see you.

You two finish dinner. I know my way to the bar.

Darrin, why don’t you have a drink with Larry? I’ll clear off the table.

Well, the electricity comes from outside, you know.

Isn’t that so, Samantha?

Oh, uh, Larry, you know my Aunt Clara.

And this is Aunt Clara’s friend, who’s a friend of Aunt Clara’s.

Aunt Clara.

Uh, costume party.

We’re going to a costume party. Oh, Tate.

Larry Tate. Costume party, huh?

Oh, wait a minute. Don’t tell me. Let me guess.

Thomas Jefferson.

Uh, no, sir. Mr. Jefferson was much taller.

My name is Benjamin Franklin. Of course.

I should have gotten it. Those little square glasses.

Yes, they’re called bifocals. I invented them, sir.

You see, one can look through the top part or the bottom...

Hold it. You’re not going to any costume party.

We’re not? Darrin, you sly dog.

No wonder you didn’t want to let me in the door. You want to spring it at the meeting.

What are you talking about? Sam, you’ve got a sneaky husband.

Oh? Oh. LARRY: Brilliant, but sneaky.

We’ve been racking our brains for just the right approach

to the Franklin Electronics account.

You know, something socko, original. And here it is. Franklin himself!

I don’t believe I understand, sir.

You wish me to lend my name to a commercial venture?

Terrific, terrific. Just the right quality.

Integrity, honesty. Let’s hear some more.

And this time, sprinkle in a few thees and thous.

You know, for the old-world flavor.

Aunt Clara, why don’t you show Mr. Franklin how the telephone works?

Wonderful gadget, the telephone. Works by electricity.

Yes. Well, just come this way.

Yes, uh, thank you.

Oh, come on, Darrin. You don’t need to keep up the act with me.

I’m convinced. Just wait till Bernie Franklin hears about this.

He’ll be tickled pink. Larry, I don’t think it’s such a hot idea.

It’s a question of... (DOOR CLOSES)

Sam, they’re going outside!

Uh, Aunt Clara has a cold. She can’t go out without her sweater!

Abner, there’s something funny going on over there!

Something funny "ha-ha," or something funny "you’re seeing things again"?

(SCOFFS) Mr. Franklin! Aunt Clara!

Don’t you think we ought to go inside?

It’s getting a little chilly out here.

Mrs. Stephens! Yoo-hoo, Mrs. Stephens!

Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!

That lady seems to be hailing you, madam. GLADYS: Yoo-hoo!

Mrs. Stephens. Uh, Mrs. Stephens,

I wonder whether I could borrow...

Hello! My name is Kravitz.

Gladys Kravitz. Enchante, madame. My name is...

Uh, Mrs. Kravitz, you know my Aunt Clara.

They’re going to a costume party. Costume party?

How come she isn’t dressed? Oh, but I am. I’m going as a witch.

Uh, Mrs. Kravitz, what is it you wanted to borrow?

Well, just a... Mrs. Kravitz. Good night, Sam.

Clara. Oh, and good night, Ben.

You son of a gun.

Ben! Benjamin Franklin. I was right. I was right.

Oh, Mrs. Kra...

Funny frog. That’s a funny frog. It’s a green frog.

You know what his name is? Fergis?

Funny frog. Fergis frog. How can you talk with your hand... Yeah.

Well, for the guy who said, "Early to bed, early to rise

"makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise," Mr. Franklin sure can sleep.

(CHUCKLES) If you just traveled two centuries, you’d be sleepy too.

Well, you better not let him sleep too long. You’ve got a lot to see.

And while you’re sightseeing, keep trying to make Aunt Clara

remember that spell to send him back, please!

Don’t worry, darling. And you call me every half hour.

Shall we synchronize our watches? Mmm-mmm.

We are synchronized. Oh!

See you tonight. Bye, darling.

Bye-bye, Daddy. (STAMMERS) Samantha. Oh, Samantha.

Oh, he’s gone. Mr. Franklin. He’s gone.

Oh, Aunt Clara, you mean you remembered the spell? Oh, no, no, no.

No, he’s gone. He isn’t here.

(STAMMERS) What I mean to say, he’s not here, but...

(CONTINUES STAMMERING) There.

"Not wishing to be the source of domestic discord,

(GASPS) "I’ve decided to see a bit of the city myself.

"With kindest regards, B. Franklin."

Oh! Oh, Aunt Clara, that’s terrible!

It is. I’ll get a baby-sitter.

Yes. Oh, dear. Come on, Tabatha.

Well, there’s the electric company, the phone company

and three fire stations, and still no sign of him.

Oh, dear. Don’t you think you should phone Darrin?

Oh, no. No, no, Aunt Clara. No sense in him worrying too.

I have an idea. Let’s try the public library.

Come on, mister. Let us in on the gag. What are you advertising?

I’m merely waiting, sir, for the library to open.

In those weirdo rags?

Which, by your sundial, sir, should be in exactly 10 minutes.

Aw, come on, buddy boy. Stop puttin’ us on.

What are you pitchin’, huh? A new movie or somethin’?

Hey, I know. Shampoo. (LAUGHING)

Aw, leave the old guy alone. Oh, what’s buggin’ you, buster? You got a gripe?

Young man, in the sense that one may learn

a good deal about a man by his clothing,

I am, in fact, advertising myself,

in the same sense that you, by your appearance,

proclaim what you are.

By your clothes and countenance, I take you to be advertising

dirt, slovenliness and a dislike for soap and water.

Your demeanor proclaims your insolence and your disrespect.

And by your speech, I suspect that you are advertising

rudeness, vulgarity and an ignorance for the English language.

Good day, sir. Hey, the old man can take care of himself.

I’m from the Morning Gazette. I wonder if I could ask you a few questions.

Hello, Mr. Franklin. My, I’m certainly glad we found you.

You needn’t have bothered, Mrs. Stephens. SAM: Oh, no bother at all.

But I do think we should be running along. We’ve got lots of things to see.

Franklin, huh?

How long has he been like this? Oh, about 200 years.

Give or take a few. Come along.

It’s marvelous, simply marvelous.

What a contraption! I should imagine it’s very efficient too.

Oh, well, this one must be at least 35 years old.

The ones they use now are inside.

Would you like to inspect this one further? Oh, indeed I would!

Good. Well, I’ll be right back. I just wanna call Darrin.

Yes.

Larry, it’s just not dignified. That’s all.

What could be more dignified than a man playing Benjamin Franklin

pitching transistor radios?

The Franklin Electronics people were ecstatic.

You told them? Of course!

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

Oh, hello, Sam. How’s it going?

Don’t you worry, darling. Everything is going beautifully.

And Mr. Franklin is very grateful to all of us.

And this machine operates on the same principle

as these other conveyances I see moving about?

Yes, yes, you see, it’s automatic.

And there’s a button you press to start it.

Oh, yes. This button here?

(ENGINE STARTS) (GASPS) Oh, dear! Oh, dear!

Well, this is very exciting, but how does one turn it off?

(STAMMERING) If you... What?

Well, um, don’t you think you’ve seen enough?

Don’t forget. Aunt Clara has some memory work to do this afternoon.

I seem to be moving. Where’s the braking device? (STAMMERS) The pedal.

Press the pedal!

(YELLING) (SIREN WAILING)

Oh, there must be a spell for this. There must be a spell!

Mr. Franklin, come back!

(CAR HORNS HONKING)

Oh, oh! Listen! Oh!

(GIGGLES) We’ll be home in about an hour. (HORNS HONKING)

S-s-Samantha! Oh, Samantha!

(STAMMERS) The fire engine!

Well, what happened, Aunt Clara?

(STAMMERS) He... I’m telling you. What?

Oh! Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness.

Sam? Sam?

Oh! Oh!

Uh, Aunt Clara, Aunt Clara, go home.

And, please, try and remember that spell.

Yes, yes. (STAMMERS) I will. I will, I will.

(GASPS)

Mr. Franklin? Mr. Franklin, are you all right?

Right this way, lady.

I, uh... I am unhurt, madam. Hey, mister, where’s the fire?

Oh, um, Officer, I’m Samantha Stephens.

And I’m sure I can explain everything. Well, fine.

Why don’t you do it down at the station house?

This gentleman, whoever he is, is under arrest.

Right this way, sir.

What a story! "Ben Franklin steals fire engine."

Aunt Clara, now you remember that spell.

Right? You’ll remember that spell at once.

Right. Oh.

What spell?

What you’re supposed to remember.

Oh, dear. I’m the dumbest witch of all.

Oh.

This has all the trappings of some kind of publicity stunt.

The idea that a name like Benjamin Franklin

should be involved in this kind of proceeding.

As to whether the name Benjamin Franklin is involved or not,

Your Honor, I believe I’m the best judge of that.

(SCOFFS)

The charge is grand theft, and bail is set at $1,000.

I’ll, uh, put up bail, Your Honor.

Your Honor, could you tell us when the trial will be?

Oh, in about four weeks. Four weeks!

Um... Your Honor, due to the advanced age of the defendant,

couldn’t we have the trial a little sooner?

How old are you? Two hundred and sixty.

Four weeks. You can pay the clerk.

We... We should have protested more vigorously.

The Constitution guarantees to every citizen the right to a speedy trial.

Oh, don’t you worry, Mr. Franklin. You won’t have to stand trial.

Oh, wait a minute, Sam. We can’t send him back now.

If he doesn’t appear in court in four weeks, I’ll lose $1,000.

I understand, of course.

Abner, Ben Franklin!

There he is! Come quick! Come quick!

Although it grieves me to impose upon your hospitality this way.

We’re delighted to have you. As long as you don’t cause any more trouble.

Where is he? Mr. Franklin? Mr. Franklin! Oh, no!

Ben Franklin? Where’s Ben Franklin?

(GASPS) He... He was... He was...

(SCREAMS)

Oh, I remembered! I remembered!

Aunt Clara, Aunt Clara, you’ve got to bring him back,

or we’re out $1,000!

(STAMMERING) What?

Now she remembers.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)