Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

Hello, Derwood, my boy.

Mother, I'm terribly busy.

Where's my grandchild?

Darrin's mother is taking care of her while I do this.

While you do precisely what?

Obviously, I'm making a dress.

But why all this rigmarole?

Oh, Samantha, have you forgotten everything I've ever taught you?

No, mother, of course I haven't forgotten.

But you know very well I prefer to do it this way.

When I'm through I'll have

the most enormous feeling of accomplishment.

It's fun.

Oh, it's pathetic. It isn't.

Darrin and I have been invited to the home of the Glendons

for dinner this evening,

and Mr. Glendon is a very important client.

Darrin wanted me to look my best,

so instead of spending the money,

I thought I'd just whip this up.

Think it'll look okay?

Well, it depends.

Is it a hard-times party?

Well, I know it doesn't look the way they pictured it.

There's so many loose threads that I can't quite--

I did so want to make an impression.

Wear that and you'll really make an impression.

Goodbye, Mother.

Goodbye?!

Goodbye?! Mm-hmm.

We had a date for lunch, which you've obviously forgotten.

Oh, I am sorry.

I did forget.

What do you want me to make?

Tracks.

I'm gonna take you to lunch

at a charming little French restaurant I've discovered.

Mother, I have to finish this dress before this evening.

I-- I don't think I have time to go out.

Now, look...it'll take less time to eat out

than it would to cook a meal yourself.

Oh, well. All right. All right.

Is it far from here?

No, not really.

Actually, it's practically around the corner...

from the Rue de la Paix.

You'll love it.

Mother, this charming little French restaurant is in France.

Of course.

Where else would it be?

And you should be dressed accordingly.

Well, this is all very nice, Mother, but I'm going home.

Oh, darling, you'll be home in a half an hour.

And you did promise to have lunch with me.

Not in Paris.

You know what I always say?

What?

If you're going to have lunch... have an excellent one.

Garçon.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

L'addition, s'il vous plaît.

Well?

How did you like it?

Very much. Thank you.

But now I think I better be getting home.

Samantha...why don't we go to Aubert's while we're here?

The couturier?

The most inspired dress designer in all of France.

And if I may say so, my dear child...

you are sorely in need of inspiration.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

I promised Darrin I was gonna make that dress myself,

and that's exactly what I intend to do.

How important is this Mr. Glendon to your husband, hm?

Very. Why?

Well, don't you think you should make every possible effort

to...please your husband and look your best?

Darling, I'm only thinking of you.

Having a peek at the work

of a truly creative Paris designer can only help.

Don't you think so?

Oh, come on.

Come on. It'll only take five minutes.

Oh, well, all right.

All right. You've convinced me.

On to Aubert's.

No, no, no, no.

[BELL DINGS]

Send whoever that is away, Brigette.

If they are good customers, maestro?

I plan the conquest of a nation.

Do not bother me with customers.

Besides, they may be spies.

Send them away.

At once.

Please ring them again, Samantha.

They're obviously closed, mother.

Oh, nonsense.

Oh. Oh, Bonjour, madame.

Bonjour, madame. I am sorry, but Aubert is not receiving.

Another day perhaps.

Well!

After all that mortal money I've spent here.

Come on, darling, we'll just take a peek,

and then you can get on home to Darwin.

Darrin.

You're rather a beastly looking little man,

but I must say, these do have a certain flair.

Now, that's definitely your style.

Shall we take it along with us

or would you rather have it sent?

Neither, thank you.

You still insist on continuing with that dreary

do-it-yourself project?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'd better be getting home.

Very well, then.

I'll go along with you as far as Bermuda.

Mr. Aubert!

Merci. Merci.

Oh.

[MUTTERS]

Ouch!

Oh, well. [BABY COOS]

There you are, Tabatha.

A Samantha Stephens original, complete and ready to wear.

What do you think of it?

Pbbt.

Marvelous. Now you're an authority on high fashion.

Well...up to bed, young lady.

That's where you're going.

Doo-doo.

She said she'd let me know when they were ready to leave.

Who?

Mrs. Stephens.

She asked me to babysit for them.

She did?

Well, I offered to sit.

At first she didn't want to take advantage of me, but I insisted.

I thought it was the only neighborly thing to do.

You mean a snoopy thing to do.

She's supposed to send up a smoke signal when she wants you?

Of course not.

She'll telephone.

And you can't hear the phone ring unless you're standing

at that window with your spyglass.

Oh...boy, is that a mess.

She'll never get it finished in time.

What?

The dress she's making.

She's supposed to wear it tonight when they have dinner

with his big client.

How did you find all that out?

Well, I've got eyes, ears and a mouth

like any other normal person, Abner.

Wanna bet?

Ah!

Hi, honey!

I'm home!

Like it?

Oh, yeah. It's fine. Fine.

But do you think you'll have it finished in time?

But, it--

You don't like it.

No, no, sweetheart.

It's great.

It will look swell on you.

After it's finished.

Right.

Uh, where's our daughter?

Upstairs in her crib.

Oh, we have to be at the Glendons' at eight, so, uh,

snap it up, huh?

Mm-hmm.

[SIGHS]

Good.

Wow-wow-wow-wee!

Really?

Is that the dress you were working on?

Mm-hmm.

I just made a few last-minute changes.

Sure looks a lot better on you than it did on that dummy.

Thanks.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, uh...that'll be Mrs. Kravitz.

I'll be right down, honey.

Hi there, Mrs. Kravitz.

Hi. Come on in.

This really is so nice of you.

Now, Tabatha is asleep,

but I'm sure we'll be back before she wakes up.

That settles it.

I've got to get a new pair of opera glasses.

I beg your pardon.

Hi, Mrs. Kravitz.

Honey, we'd better step on it.

J.T. Glendon is a nut on punctuality.

Well, have a good time.

Thank you.

Oh, you look lovely, both of you.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Kravitz.

Night-night.

Bye. Good night.

[GROANS]

That's a...marvelous cigar, Mr. Glendon.

Would you like to have one or two to take home?

Uh, no. Uh, thank you.

They're...too hard to come by.

Have you been to Paris recently, Mrs. Stephens?

Paris?

Yes. I've been admiring your gown.

And I know you didn't buy it here.

Darn right she didn't.

She made it herself.

You're joking.

No, I'm not.

You are talented, Mrs. Stephens.

I could've sworn that was a Paris original.

No, she whipped it up herself.

Only took a couple of days.

Please, Darrin.

Well, if you ever decide to open up a shop,

I'll be your first customer.

I'll remember that.

I know it's an imposition... but do you think

you might be able to design something for me?

[CLEARS THROAT]

She'd be glad to.

Wouldn't you, Sam?

I do believe my husband's getting a little carried away

with family pride.

I'm-- I'm not that good.

Sam, you're being too modest.

Yes, you obviously have a rare talent.

But not for dressmaking.

This one was just a-- A fluke.

Well, I'd be willing to trust you.

Will you make a gown for me?

Ah...well, I'd love to. But you see, my husband likes me

to spend all my spare time with him.

Don't you, dear?

Well, I'm sure Darrin is willing to make the sacrifice

in this case, aren't you, boy?

Well, of course I am.

I'll even be willing to watch the baby while she's working.

Then it's all settled.

I guess it is.

Doris, I'm green with envy.

That's my sister for you.

Whatever my wife wants, she wants too.

Sam...

Well, why not?

I'd be happy to make one for you too, Mrs. Granger.

You sure it wouldn't be too much trouble?

Oh, no. No trouble at all.

Honey.

Honey!

Honey, I just couldn't say no.

Well, you might have checked with me before you said yes.

And what would you have said?

No.

But you know how important the Glendon account

is to the agency.

I suppose so.

Besides, when I said you'd do it, Mr. Glendon gave me

a whole box of these great cigars.

I don't smoke cigars.

Sam, I wouldn't have offered if making dresses

didn't seem so easy for you.

Besides, you've only got yourself to blame.

You shouldn't be so talented.

In the future, I'll try not to be.

Oh well, sure. Sure.

Why not? The more the merrier.

[GIGGLES]

Okay. Bye.

Oh, well. My career as a dress designer is booming.

Gladys Kravitz wants me to make one for her.

You could've said no.

Oh, I didn't have the heart to turn her down.

Besides, she'd already gotten the material.

Mm. I'm sorry I got you into this.

Uh-huh. Now, you better run along

or you'll be late for the office.

I am not going to the office.

I am driving out to the airport to meet a new client.

Oh. What time is the plane due?

[BABY CRIES]

Oh. I've got it written down here somewhere.

Excuse me.

There.

Aubert of Paris, arriving at...

Honey, I'm late! I've got to run!

Ah.

By the great beard of Merlin!

Are you still on this seamstress kick?

Not still, Mother. Again.

I got trapped into making dresses for Gladys Kravitz,

and the wife and sister of Darrin's client.

Samantha...would it be fair to say

you are totally inept as a dressmaker?

No. It wouldn't be fair.

But it's true.

Then how can you hope to make three gowns the mortal way?

Well, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to use witchcraft.

Oh, Samantha, it makes me very happy to hear you say that.

I was beginning to think I'd failed you as a mother.

Don't get carried away.

I'm only doing it because there's no other way out.

Well, I don't understand.

If you're going to use witchcraft,

why are you bothering with all this?

Because in just a few moments, my customers

are coming for their fitting.

I have to make it look like

I'm doing things the normal way.

After they've left, I'll simply twitch up

the other three originals that we saw at Aubert's.

Oh, that's my Samantha.

Chk.

Mother.

Well, that just about does it.

Now that I have all your measurements, I can start, uh...

working with the material.

Well, what about my hips?

What about them?

You didn't measure them.

Well, I don't think we have to bother with that.

Don't you even jot down the measurements?

Oh, no, no.

I have a different way of working.

My measurements are easy to remember: 32, 32, 32.

Well, don't worry, Mrs. Kravitz, yours are burned into my memory.

That's funny.

Abner says the same thing.

[PHONE RINGS]

Oh. Excuse me.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Darrin.

I won't keep you, sweetheart.

I just wanted to tell the ladies

they're both invited to a cocktail party Friday,

at which they can wear

their gorgeous, new Samantha Stephens originals.

Did you hear that? Yes.

Tell him we accept.

They accept.

What's the party for, Darrin?

Oh, I can't tell you any more about it.

It involves a new client, and it's very hush-hush.

But I'm sure you and the girls will get a big kick out of it.

All right, darling. Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Well, I don't have to keep you any longer, ladies.

As soon as your new dresses are ready, I'll send them over.

Oh, boy. I sure am looking forward to getting a new dress.

I just wish I had somewhere to wear it.

Here I'll be all dressed up, and no place to go.

Well, see you Friday.

Oh, you mean, you'd like me to come too?

Uh...well, I'm sure Darrin would love for you to come.

I'll have to check our engagements, of course.

You mean you might be busy?

Oh, I wouldn't think of disappointing you.

Are you sure, Samantha,

that you don't want us for a second fitting?

No, I have everything I need.

I just hope you don't give her my bust.

I beg your pardon?

I meant if you got the measurements mixed-up.

Oh, don't worry. I won't.

Goodbye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye, Mrs. Kravitz

[GIGGLES] Bye, Mrs. Stephens.

Ugh!

I just wondered, uh, what time for the cockta-- Ugh!

SAMANTHA What's the matter, Mrs. Kravitz?

Well, how can you make three dresses in three seconds?

I just went out the door...

Then I went and suddenly saw...

Huh?

You looking for something, Mrs. Kravitz?

Only my sanity, Mrs. Stephens.

Only my sanity.

Sanity.

[GROANS]

Phew.

It's some sort of a glamorous cocktail party.

I said we'd be glad to come if we're free.

If we're free?

We're free all the time.

What'll I do if my dress isn't ready in time?

So you'll wear the old dress.

Guess I'll have to go to the beauty parlor, huh?

Boy...I'll say.

What are you doing anyway?

S.S. Sorrento.

That's the ship that sank.

How come you're making a model of it?

I'm sentimental.

It's the ship on which we had our honeymoon.

Oh, yeah.

And during all the time we were floating around

in our lifebelts,

I kept thinking,

"Somebody's trying to tell me something."

[GROANS]

Thank you.

[LAUGHS]

Thank you.

No, thank you.

No more for me. Thank you.

Sam, you look particularly beautiful.

And you look particularly beautiful.

Also particularly nervous.

What's the matter?

I'm about to make a speech.

Oh. What about?

Top-secret.

But you'll know all about it in just a minute.

Excuse me.

How can Mrs. Stephens look so good while my wife

looks so terrible, Mr. Glendon?

You must be a professional mind reader, Mr. Kravitz.

Friends, may I have your attention for a moment.

I, uh-- I can now satisfy your understandable curiosity.

This is a preview... or, if you like, a dry run...

during which you will be afforded the privilege

of an advance peek at the product my client will display

to his prospective customers in the same room tomorrow morning.

Until now, it has been necessary to maintain secrecy in order

to protect the character of my client's design.

But the time for secrecy has passed.

Therefore, it is with great pleasure that I introduce

Aubert of Paris.

[APPLAUSE]

Bonjour, mesdames et messieurs.

Today, I would like--

[MURMURING]

[MOUTHS WORDS]

Have you any idea what your little lunch in Paris cost us?

Aubert fired the agency?

Fired us?

He's going to sue us for 5 million dollars.

Shh! You'll wake up the baby.

[WHISPERS] Five million dollars!

That's ridiculous.

It is?

What's my defense? The truth?

You do kind of have a problem, don't you?

He tried to introduce his line into the country before

and he failed.

This was his last chance.

The agency was supposed to help put him over the top.

Darrin, I'm sorry.

You know the thing he was the most angry about?

The fact that he thought you'd given me

all his top-secret designs?

No.

The fact that only you looked good in his gowns,

and everybody else looked terrible.

Aubert seemed to think that I hunted the entire country

to find the three women who would sabotage his gowns.

Wait just a minute.

What?

When I get through talking to Aubert,

he won't sue the agency, he'll give you a bonus.

When you get through...

well, what makes you think he'll talk to you?

Oh, he'll talk to me all right.

Sam, no more witchcraft.

That's what got me into this jam in the first place.

Don't worry.

No witchcraft.

Maybe just a little.

Only if it's absolutely necessary.

[SIGHS]

Monsieur Aubert?

You!

How did you get in here?

I have to talk to you.

How did you get in here?

That doesn't matter.

I have to talk to you.

I'm going to have you thrown out!

Oh, dear.

Hello!

Mm!

I hate to do this.

Now...in just a few moments,

we're going to be very good friends.

And you are going to believe that the mysterious events

of this afternoon were caused by

my husband's attempt to dramatize

the reason for your past failure to capture

the American mass market.

The true reason for that failure is this.

Your designs look great on half-starved fashion models.

But if you could come up with a design that looked good

on the average American woman,

well, then you'd really have something.

Oh.

Got it?

Got it!

The answer is the pear shape.

The shape most natural to most mature women.

Now, since there is nothing quite so luscious

and quite so tempting as a ripe pear, why camouflage it?

Brilliant.

I bow to the master.

Yes, I see it all now.

I do.

It's too late. Oh?

Now, the designs, the sketches, they are easy

for a man of my genius.

You see, but to have the proper models

in the finished gowns by morning...is not possible.

Monsieur Aubert... I'll make you a deal. Yes.

You provide the designs and leave those humdrum

petty details to me.

Yes, but how can you possibly turn out a whole line

of dresses overnight on your own?

Oh, I won't be working alone.

Oh.

My mother's gonna help me.

Oh.

[SILENTLY MOUTHS]

I don't know.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Aubert of Paris!

[APPLAUSE]

Merci. Merci.

How did you explain to Aubert

how you made the dresses so fast?

I simply told him,

Ne regarde jamais un cheval dans la bouche.

Which means?

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Today, Aubert will lead the fashion world

one giant step forward.

But rather than tell you about my revolutionary new concept,

I would prefer to show you.

Presenting my first creation for the average American woman

as modeled by the average American woman.

Voilà!

[APPLAUSE]

Voilà!

[APPLAUSE]

And voilà!

[APPLAUSE]

[♪♪♪]