Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

You were up early this morning, huh?

What were you doing in the den?

Darrin?

Hm?

Oh! I'm sorry, honey.

Oh, just what I need.

Ketchup with my oatmeal.

Big day today, sweetheart?

Good.

Have a nice time.

I have a feeling I'm not getting through to you.

I'm sorry, honey.

I'm worried about a presentation

I have to make to a client today.

Problems with the campaign?

Well, with a little bit of work, it could be mediocre.

[GIGGLES]

Can't you postpone the meeting?

Mm-mmm.

He's only in town for one day.

I even got up early today

to try to come up with some new ideas for his product.

Oh, honey--

That's it!

What?

Honey. That's the product.

Sorry.

Your cousin Miranda is going to get married,

and we're going to the wedding,

so be ready to leave tonight.

Don't you ever say hello?

You'll enjoy a vacation from this suburban prison.

Mother, I can't go.

The Tates are coming for dinner tonight.

And anyway, I couldn't leave Darrin alone.

You know, Samantha,

your devotion to that mortal is absolutely pathetic.

Well, I suppose we could drag him along.

Show him how the elite live.

Oh, I don't think so, Mother.

Besides, Darrin is very busy.

And I-- Derwood,

we're all going to a wedding.

So you better arrange

to take two days off

from whatever it is you do.

Don't you ever say hello?

Darrin,

you think you could get a couple of days off?

I'm afraid not, honey.

I'm snowed under with work.

I'm sure Larry wouldn't let me off.

Oh, I can take care of that.

Oh? How?

Well, I'll simply turn Mr. Tate

into an inanimate object for two days.

He'll never know you've gone away.

Mother!

Oh, well, it was just an idea.

Let's keep it that way.

I'm afraid you'll just have to count us out, Endora.

Oh, don't give up so easily.

[CHUCKLES]

I don't!

You know the trouble with your mother?

Hm.

She's here today and here tomorrow.

See you tonight.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Endora!

What a coincidence seeing you here.

Well, let's say a surprise.

A very pleasant one, I hope.

Well, I've never had a day spoiled by an attractive woman.

Oh, Mr. Tate.

As a matter of fact,

I've often told Darrin he should be glad

he has such a charming mother-in-law.

You should meet Louise's mother.

A real witch.

Well, it happens in the best of families.

I'm glad that we happened to meet, Mr. Tate.

I wanted to ask a favor of you.

Well, fire away.

I'd like to take Samantha and her husband out of town

to attend a very special family function.

I'd really appreciate it

if you could spare him from the office for, uh...

two days.

Well, if it means that much to you, of course I can.

Oh, thank you.

I'll try to repay you sometime.

Oh, that won't be necessary.

Well, I'm afraid I'll have to run.

Oh?

I was hoping to pick up a teddy bear for my son,

but they're all out of them.

Well, there seem to be plenty around.

Oh, no.

I need one like this.

It nods its head when you press its toe.

This was taken with my son.

Oh, he has lovely brown eyes.

Oh, he was very fond of that teddy bear.

So fond, that last night

it finally disintegrated under the constant affection.

How sweet.

I promised him I'd get him another one just like it.

Well, if I happen to run across one, I'll let you know.

Thank you.

Nice seeing you, Endora.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Mr. Tate.

Bye-bye.

Is Mr. Tate in?

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

He's out.

When do you expect him?

I doubt if he'll be back today.

He has a number of calls to make.

Can I help you?

Yes.

I'd like to send this to Mrs. Tate

with my compliments.

Oh, isn't he cute.

What is your name, please?

Endora.

Endora.

And your last name?

Betty, do you have the charts on the Harper account?

Oh, right here, Mr. Stephens.

Oh, I'll get them.

You know, a psychiatrist could cure you

of an attachment like that.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, it isn't mine.

It's a gift for Mrs. Tate.

Hm. It's an unusual gift.

Well, the lady who delivered it

wasn't exactly the run-of-the-mill either.

Very striking, with red hair.

Odd name too.

Idora...

or Andora...

Endora?

That's right, Endora.

What did she say?

She told me to send this to Mrs. Tate

with her compliments.

Let me have that.

Kind of cute, isn't he?

It's easy to see how people

can become so attached to inanimate objects.

Oh, she couldn't.

A lot of other things, but not this.

Are you all right, Mr. Stephens?

Have, um...?

Have you seen Mr. Tate today?

No. He was supposed to phone, but I haven't heard a word.

Well, I better put this in a box, and--

No. I'll-- I'll keep him.

What?

I'll take care of it.

Gee, I don't know, Mr. Stephens.

I was supposed to send it to his home.

I don't want Mr. Tate to get mad at me.

You know what a bear he can be.

Betty, that's not funny.

Did I say something wrong?

No, of course not.

Just let us have a few minutes alone.

I mean, will you excuse us?

Me?

Sure, Mr. Stephens.

Sure.

Larry?

Larry, is that you?

Larry, is it you?

Did Endora turn you into a teddy bear?

Larry, nod your head if you understand.

Oh!

Larry.

[WHIRRING]

[WHIRRING STOPS]

Mother, will you stop playing games?

I can't talk with that infernal din.

Now, start packing, Samantha.

You're leaving tomorrow.

I told you, Larry will not let Darrin go.

But I saw Mr. Tate,

and everything's taken care of.

Mother--

I can't stay now.

I'll be back soon.

I'm off to get a new wardrobe.

Wait!

[PHONE RINGS]

Hold along, Lar. Don't give up the ship.

Hello, Sam?

Have you seen your mother?

Yes.

She just left. Why?

Did she say anything about Larry?

Well, she said something about having seen him

and having taken care of everything.

Taken care of everything?

I don't really know what she was talking about.

Have you seen Larry?

I'm holding him in my arms.

Oh, well, then ask him--

What?

Sam, she did it!

She did it!

Put Larry in your arms?

She turned him into a teddy bear.

A teddy bear?

Darrin, are you sure?

Don't you think I know a teddy bear when I see one?

Oh, this is terrible.

Sam, you have to get ahold of her.

She has to take this spell off.

Oh, but, Darrin, I don't know where she is.

She went on a shopping spree.

We'll just have to wait till she gets back.

Well, what am I supposed to do in the meantime?

Look, darling,

j-just keep him warm a-and let him know you care,

that is,

you're trying to do something about his, uh...

condition.

Try not to worry too much.

I'll phone you as soon as mother shows up.

All right, sweetheart.

Well, Lar,

you certainly look warm enough.

And you heard what Sam said.

We'll have you back to normal in no time.

You understand?

Do...you...understand?

Larry, you have every right to be sore at me,

but at least speak to me.

Are you kidding?

You spoke!

You spoke to me!

Hardly,

I think he's in hibernation this time of year.

I'm sorry, Mr. Stephens.

Mr. Harper said he couldn't wait any longer.

As you know, my time is somewhat limited.

Yes, of course, Mr. Harper.

Uh, thank you.

Thank you, Betty.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Harper.

I think you met my assistant, Ted Bertram,

last time he was in town.

Yes, how are you, Ted?

Nice to see you again.

And this is the young lady

who will help us demonstrate our product.

Oh, we met outside.

Yes, we, uh, certainly did.

Well, now that we've all met,

won't you sit down?

Oh, thank you.

Diane.

Now...

We, uh, haven't met your friend.

Friend?

Mm-hmm.

Um, I guess you're wondering

why I was talking to this teddy bear.

Well, we all have our hang-ups, Darrin.

Yes. Well, uh...

It's my hobby.

Ventriloquism.

I was practicing.

You must have a very funny act.

Yes.

Uh, well, uh, I'll just be a moment.

Doesn't look like a ventriloquist's dummy.

Seems to be just an ordinary teddy bear.

Well, I was only using that to--

Don't hold him like that!

All the blood will rush to his head. What?

Are his eyes bloodshot?

Ha! It's nice to have a client

with a good sense of humor. Huh?

I would like to call your attention to the story-bear.

Board!

I'll have Diane read the copy for you later.

But right now,

I would like to tell you some of our ideas.

Our ideas?

Yes, Larry Tate's and mine.

I'm only interested in hearing your ideas, Darrin.

You see we're a young, progressive company.

And frankly, I think Mr. Tate's ideas

are a bit too fuddy-duddy for us.

Well, you're wrong, Mr. Harper.

You're dead wrong.

Er, uh, some of Larry Tate's ideas are very creative.

I'd say brilliant.

Well, I'm sure that Mr. Tate's work

is quite competent in some areas, but not for us.

You see we're looking for something fresh and imaginative.

And I find that old-timers like Tate,

well, they're old hat. Stale.

Their ideas lack style.

And why are you doing that?

Doing what?

Could you please put down that teddy bear?

It's rather distracting.

Here let me hold him.

Aw.

He's so cute and cuddly.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Why?

He bites. Uh, sheds!

Could we forget about the teddy bear

and get on with the presentation?

Of course.

[PHONE RINGS]

Excuse me.

Is that you, Sam?

The model's dress is here!

Look, Betty, the only person I want to speak to is my wife.

Excuse me.

I'll go change.

DARRIN: Will you please keep the line open?

Thank you.

I'm sorry, but, uh...

Where's Diane?

I think she went to change into her costume.

What did she do with Larry?

Larry?

Teddy! I mean the teddy bear.

She took it into the changing room with her.

She can't do that!

Darrin.

I've gotta get that teddy bear back.

Ted, I don't want to be an alarmist,

but I have a sinking feeling that we're doing business

with a first-class fruitcake!

Diane!

DIANE: Yes.

Have you got a teddy bear in there with you?

Yes. Why?

He can't stay in there!

Give him to me!

Do you have to have him right now?

I don't have any clothes on.

Just get him out of there!

Did you have to do that?

Are you all right?

No heartbeat.

Do you hear anything?

Mr. Stephens, teddy bears don't have heartbeats.

Look, can we get on with this meeting?

Um, yes.

Certainly. No!

Leave the teddy bear.

You don't understand, Mr. Harper.

He's sort of a mascot.

Look, Mr. Stephens,

you don't need luck

to sell us this campaign, do you?

No, of course not.

I'll take care of him, Mr. Stephens.

All right, but see that you don't let him out of your sight.

Sure, Mr. Stephens.

Look, I'll put him right in this drawer.

No!

You'll cut off his air.

Put him right here on the desk.

And don't touch him.

Are you ready,

or do you want to get into your Doctor Dentons?

The costume is very nice, Diane.

Hi, Betty.

Is my husband in?

No, he's been out all day, Mrs. Tate.

Oh. Well, never mind, I'll...

Oh, no! Larry must've bought one too.

I've been looking all over town for one just like this,

and finally located one half an hour ago.

Well, I was supposed to send this to your house.

A lady named, um,

Endora said to send it to you with her compliments.

Oh, how sweet of her!

I wonder how she knew we were looking for one.

Cute, isn't he?

Yeah.

Well, we can't use two of these.

He must have come from Tippet's Toy Shop.

It's the only place in town that has them in stock.

I told them to send the bear I bought to our house,

so I'd better return this one.

We'll just treat the other one as a gift.

Do you want me to give Mr. Tate any message when he phones in?

Oh, no, I'll be busy all day too.

Just tell him to meet me at the Stephens' tonight.

All right, Mrs. Tate.

Darrin,

why did you want me to meet you here?

Louise returned Larry to this store.

He's here somewhere.

Take it easy.

We'll find him, get him home.

And soon Mother will be there,

and everything will be back to normal.

Oh, no, it won't.

Why not?

What do the words "nervous breakdown" mean to you?

Awww.

Excuse me.

Did a brunette lady return a teddy bear a little while ago?

Yes. Why?

Well, he's a very special bear.

I mean, he has great sentimental value.

Would you mind telling us where you put him?

On the shelf over there.

Thank you.

Don't worry, darling.

We'll have him home safe and sound in--

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Can't you tell which one's him?

Not a chance.

Honey, maybe you can contact him.

After all, you are a--

[WHISPERS] A witch.

Larry.

Larry?

Which one of you is Larry Tate?

Larry?

Larry!

Is that you, Larry?

Lar.

Hey, Lar. Give us a sign.

Larry.

Larry?

Look.

Darrin, that must be him.

He nodded.

Lady... Hm?

they all nod.

They do?

It's a button in his toe.

Can you remember which one the lady returned?

I'm sorry.

You sure?

Look, do you want to make a purchase or not?

Uh, yes.

We'll take all these teddy bears.

Mister, there are 24 teddy bears here.

I know. We're having a picnic.

A teddy bears' picnic?

Honey, they all look absolutely identical.

Isn't there any way we can tell which one is Larry?

Hasn't he got a mole or something?

Who notices moles?

Larry.

Darrin!

What?

Darrin, this must be Larry.

How can you tell?

He's the only one that doesn't have "Made in Japan" on his--

Here.

And he doesn't have this little tag either.

Ooh!

You're right.

It must be him.

Larry, are you all right?

Listen, I better get these out of the way,

so we don't get him mixed up again.

Good idea.

I wish you wouldn't keep staring at me

with those unblinking eyes.

They're sort of accusing.

Oh, darling,

I'm sure it's nothing but your imagination.

Ha.

Bears don't bear grudges.

At least I don't think they do.

Are you sure your mother

is the only one that can reverse the spell?

I'm afraid so.

I suppose I could try.

But not knowing the spell,

there's no telling what would happen.

And I'd hate to end up

with a live bear in the living room.

This time she did it.

This time she really did it!

Well, Darwin.

Ready for your afternoon nap?

You ought to be arrested and locked up.

Don't you ever say hello?

Do you know what you could get

for turning a man into a teddy bear?!

I have no idea.

But I can imagine

they'd have a hard time finding a precedent.

You know what you are?

You're a childish, irresponsible old witch!

Darrin, Darrin, now, I know you're upset.

Upset?!

She turned my boss into a teddy bear!

Just to satisfy a selfish whim.

It's about time you thought of somebody else besides yourself.

Are you quite through?

No, I'm not!

You better do something about him!

Certainly.

So much for your boss.

[WEAKLY] She murdered him.

I don't believe it.

Oh, mother wouldn't.

Sam...

Sam, call a doctor.

A doctor?

Sam, call a doctor!

He may still be alive.

Call a doctor before he dies from...

loss of...stuffing.

Darrin, I can't believe

that mother would do something like that.

How can you say that with Larry all over the table?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I rang twice, but nobody--

Hey, looks like you had a little accident.

Is Larry here yet?

Is something the matter?

Um, matter?

No.

No, you just caught us in the middle of something.

Do you want me to help you clean up that mess?

We were just going to try and put him back together.

Listen, forget it.

Whatever that was originally, it's beyond repair now.

But I'll help you clean it up th--

Hey, that looks familiar.

Familiar?

Our little boy has a teddy bear--

Sam, I can't stand it any longer.

I have to tell her.

Darrin, Darrin,

I don't think you should rush into this.

Sam, it's the only decent thing to do.

Louise, sit down.

But what is this?

Louise,

these pitiful bits of cotton and fuzz

are all that's left of dear L--

Larry!

Larry!

What's the matter with you, Darrin?

You act as though I'd just returned from the dead.

Larry, is it really you?

If it really is you, nod your head.

Is he kidding?

Darrin, maybe you ought to sit down.

He's had a hard day.

Well, it couldn't have been any worse than my day.

How do you mean?

Oh, you know.

One meeting after another.

Hi, Louise.

Who knocked the stuffing out of that teddy bear?

Oh, it's a long story.

Well, he looks like I feel.

I think we could all use a little drink before dinner,

don't you? Hear, hear.

Don't you?

By all means.

Eat drink and be merry,

but tomorrow

I apologize to your mother.

I think mother accepted your apology rather graciously,

don't you?

Yes.

Although I did have a little trouble getting to my feet

after being in that kneeling position for so long.

Well, the only problem we have now

is what to do with 23 teddy bears.

That is not the only problem.

I'd also like to convince Larry and Mr. Harper

that just because I bought 24 teddy bears--

Twenty-four teddy bears.

All nodding yes!

Twenty-four teddy bears all nodding yes?

Don't you see? Bears, honey?

Twenty-four teddy bears all nodding yes

to a jar of Harper's honey.

Oh.

I might be able to get him

before he leaves for the airport.

At least it'll be a good excuse

for me being so preoccupied with bears.

Mr. Harper, please.

He has?

He just left three minutes ago.

Are you absolutely sure he checked out of the hotel?

He is?

Great.

I just got a lucky break.

He's coming back into the hotel?

He's heading back to the desk right--

How did you know that?

Would you believe me if I said it was intuition?

Of course.

But just this once.

Hello, Mr. Harper!

[♪♪♪]