Original subtitles

[HUMMING]

Oh!

Hey, Abner!

Abner, come here quick.

How about that?

Kind of funny,

people like that going into the Stephens' house.

They look normal to me.

That's what's funny about it!

Wally! Margaret!

What a surprise!

How are you, Samantha?

Wally, what a silly question.

Need you ask?

Oh, hey, congratulations!

Oh, thank you. We're very happy about it.

Do come in.

Don't tell me this is Merle.

Yeah, it's me.

How I've grown, right?

Right.

Uh, sit down, sit down.

Why don't you have some coffee.

Oh, no. We'd love to, but, uh,

we're really in a terrible hurry.

Oh, no, no. I haven't seen you for ages.

Merle, how about you?

Would you like some cake?

Gee, yeah. Do you have chocolate?

Mm-hm. Kitchen's right in there, just help yourself.

Well, he did that very well.

He's learning.

[♪♪♪]

Too bad you don't like chocolate, Merle.

It's delicious!

What brings you to this part of the world?

Didn't Endora tell you?

Tell me what?

Oh, ho, great.

What's the matter?

Well, Wally and I have to attend an important conclave in London.

All our usual sitters fell through,

and we didn't know what to do, so--

Well, luckily, we bumped into Endora.

We'd never have thought of asking you, but she said

you wouldn't mind.

Mind what?

She said you wouldn't mind

taking care of Merle while we were gone.

Oh, it isn't that. It's-- Uh... It's my husband.

He doesn't like kids?

Oh, no, no, no. He loves them.

It's just that--

Well, Darrin's had some rather nasty experiences

with my friends and relatives and...

he's been working so hard lately, I hate to--

Well, he's mortal, you know.

Yes, Endora told us.

Well, that shouldn't be a problem.

Merle can pass for a mortal, can't you, Merle?

Sure, Mom.

Will you promise not to do any magic in front of Mr. Stephens?

Okay.

Well, in that case, I-- I guess it's all right.

Thanks, Samantha.

I'm sure he'll be no trouble.

He's got a lot of studying to do.

Oh, what are you working on now, Merle?

Elementary spells and incantations.

You're not to help him, Samantha.

Oh, don't worry, I won't.

Thanks again, Samantha.

We really appreciate it.

And, uh, you behave yourself

and do everything Mr. and Mrs. Stephens tells you.

Give Mother a kiss.

Aw, Mom.

Well, we'd better take off.

See you tomorrow.

So long, Mom. So long, Dad.

Have a good time.

All right, Merle, I'll show you your room.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Uh-huh. That's Gladys Kravitz.

Hey!

Can you see through walls?

I can't seem to get the hang of it.

No magic involved, Merle.

I just know from the knock and the timing.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Kravitz. What a surprise.

I came over for a snoop of-- A scoop of sugar.

I hope I'm not disturbing you.

No, no.

Oh, hi, young man. Hi.

This is Merle. He's come to spend a day or two.

Oh, did your parents bring you? I'd be pleased to meet them.

They've already left.

Oh, they couldn't. I was watching.

I mean, are you sure they're not still here?

Positive.

They went through the roof.

They went through the roof?

Mrs. Kravitz, would you like your sugar?

No.

No, no. I've got plenty at home, thanks.

Hey, she's pretty weird, even for a mortal.

Oh, no, Larry.

You paid last Saturday.

No, no, you did.

No, I'm sure you did, Larry.

All right, I'll toss you for it.

Loser pays. Okay.

All right, call it. Heads!

I don't see it. It must have rolled under the bar.

Well, it was your 50 cents, so I'll pay.

DARRIN: What time do you want us there tomorrow night?

LARRY: Oh, about 8:30.

Louise is getting a little touchy about her birthdays.

But she always likes to see you and Sam.

[CLINKS]

I guess this is yours.

Thanks.

It was heads.

Thanks.

Oh, I want to show you the necklace I got

for Louise's birthday.

Hey, that's beautiful. Does she know about it?

No, I just got it today, so she hasn't had a chance to find it.

You know, she always snoops around.

So that by the time I give her her present,

it's never a surprise.

I've got it!

Darrin, would you keep this for me until tomorrow night?

I'll be glad to.

Thank you.

[♪♪♪]

Anybody home?

Yeah!

Hi, I'm Merle Brocken, Mr. Stephens.

Well, glad to know you, Merle.

Hi, darling.

I, uh, see the two of you have met.

Yes.

Merle's gonna be with us for a while.

He is?

His parents had to go away overnight,

and they wanted to know if Merle could stay here, okay?

Uh, fine.

New family in the neighborhood?

You might say that.

I did say that.

So you did.

Uh, Merle,

why don't you run outside and play for a while.

You mean, you want me to have fun?

That's the general idea.

Whatever you say, Mrs. Stephens.

It's a pity he didn't bring any toys with him.

Seems like a nice kid.

Well, what's that?

It's a necklace Larry bought for Louise's birthday. Oh?

He asked me to keep it for him till tomorrow.

Honey? Hmm?

You sure you don't mind Merle's being here?

Why should I mind?

He seems like a nice, normal little boy.

Hey, sonny!

Yes, ma'am?

Water just came out your ears.

Yes, ma'am.

Well, how do you explain that?

I was in swimming yesterday.

I see.

How do you like staying with the Stephenses?

Oh, they're real nice people.

Did you notice anything strange about them?

No.

Excuse me. I'm supposed to be having fun.

Hi, Merle. You weren't out very long.

There wasn't anybody to play with.

Oh.

Well, you want to play catch with me?

I don't know how.

Didn't your father ever teach you?

No. He's traveling all the time.

Well, come on.

I think I can make a ball player out of you before supper.

See? Pops right in there.

Now, don't be afraid to throw the ball

just as hard as you can.

I'm sure you'll catch on pretty quick.

Well, let's toss it around a bit.

Bat there. Why don't you stand over here,

and I'll go on down the road a piece.

Okay, it's comin' in.

Good catch.

Okay, now let's have it.

Burn one in here, Merle. Burn one in. Let's have it, boy.

Let me have it.

Uh, did you say you, uh...? You never played before?

That's right, Mr. Stephens. But it's not so hard to do.

Oh.

Well, let's see how you can do with the bat.

Why don't you pick it up and I'll pitch you a few.

Okay, Mr. Stephens.

Now, don't be disappointed if you miss the first couple, okay?

You set?

Here you go.

Is that what you wanted me to do, Mr. Stephens?

Did you ever think about being a ball player?

No. What for?

Well, a lot of kids dream about being in the major leagues.

You could be.

I suppose so. but I don't really want to be.

Well, what do you want to do?

I want to be like my father.

Well, I can't argue with that.

[SCREAMS]

Oooh! Abner!

Abner!

The kid from across the street

broke our window with his baseball!

Abner! Abner!

Is this the one he broke?

I saw it with my own eyes.

Gladys, you must have your contact lenses reversed.

What are you reading, Merle?

That book about space travel you had on the shelf.

The one over there, where you hid the necklace.

I didn't know that was a funny book.

Oh, it's not meant to be, but it is.

Look at this one!

Oh, boy!

Eat your dinner.

No, thanks. I don't like meat loaf.

Well, unfortunately, Merle,

this is not a restaurant.

And meat loaf is all we have on the menu tonight.

I didn't think it was a restaurant, sir.

Well, put the book aside and eat.

This is a dining room, not a library.

I didn't think it was a library either, sir.

Merle, in this house, when someone reads,

they read in the other room.

Yes, sir.

Thank you very much.

That's a very hard boy to criticize.

He's so polite.

Oh, I wouldn't criticize him, darling.

Why not?

Well...

Honey, a little constructive criticism never hurt anyone.

Well, he's only going to be here overnight.

Sam, that's not the point.

While he is here, I expect him to behave

like any other well-mannered boy.

Mm. He's very well-mannered.

Why don't you finish your dinner and forget about it.

All right.

DOLL: Mama. Mama.

I got it! I got it!

Hi, Merle.

Hi, Mr. Stephens.

Merle, I'd like to have a little talk with you.

You know, it's through the little things in life

that we learn about the big things.

Now take, for instance, that meat loaf...

Merle, what's that?

It's really a hairbrush.

Let's not have any games, Merle.

I happen to know you didn't bring any toys with you.

Now, did you, uh, just happen to find that

in some other boy's yard?

No! It's mine!

Merle, I'm sure you think it's yours,

but until I'm sure, um, I'd better take charge of it.

[DARRIN YELLS]

What happened?

He tried to take my fire truck that I made out of a hairbrush,

so I stopped him.

Is he a--?

A--? A--?

Yes.

A plain, simple, ordinary, everyday little warlock.

[♪♪♪]

A warlock?!

Sam, why didn't you tell me?

I didn't want to make you nervous.

Oh, fine. Next time, just blurt it out, huh?

Well, now darling, it was an emergency.

I wouldn't ordinarily have done this without asking you first.

But it was only for overnight, and I didn't expect any trouble.

Sam, I like surprises as much as the next fellow,

but this is--

I am furious with you.

You promised no witchcraft.

First, you misbehaved at the table,

and then you misbehaved here.

Misbehaved? He-- He darn near electrocuted me!

Well, he tried to take my fire engine.

And I don't like meat loaf.

March!

March!

Come on, darling.

Eat!

First time I ever saw a meat loaf

with strawberry and whipped cream.

Merle!

Meat loaf!

That's right.

Next stop, spinach! The whole plateful!

I think you're outclassed, Merle.

Uh-uh!

Don't you dare.

Let me remind you, young man, that I am older

and more experienced than you.

And anything you can do, I can do an awful lot better.

Okay, I give up.

And I want you to promise me, no more witchcraft

while you're in this house.

Aw, gee whiz.

You heard me.

But as long as he knows, what's the difference?

That's it, Merle.

Okay. But what about my fire engine?

Do I get to keep it?

Darrin will decide whether you keep it or not.

Why him? Who's he?

He is my husband

and the master of this house,

that's who.

Why don't you try a little smile, Merle.

[♪♪♪]

[HORN HONKS]

[CLANGING]

[BANGS]

[DOOR OPENS]

Stop!

Put up your hands, or I'll shout--

Or I'll shoot!

Now what?

Now, where's the necklace?

I can't tell you. It belongs to my boss.

It's a present for his wife.

Tell me where it is and let me get out of here,

I'm gettin' nervous.

MERLE: Hi. Ooooh!

Hi, Mr. Stephens.

I thought I heard you talking down here.

All right, all right,

what's the idea, sneakin' up behind me like that?

Hey, are you a burglar?

I bet you came for that necklace in here.

MAN: Yeah, kid. That's right. Do you know where it is?

Sure.

Come on, Merle, let him have it!

DARRIN [WHISPERS]: You know what I mean!

Gee, I'd like to,

but I really promised Mrs. Stephens I wouldn't.

Don't you remember?

Well, here it is.

Thanks for you cooperation.

You're welcome.

Sorry, Mr. Stephens, but I gave my word.

Thanks, kid.

Okay, so you got the necklace.

Why don't you take the fire engine.

You're probably mean enough to.

You know, you're right, I am.

And my nephew's got a birthday comin' up.

Leave it alone! It's mine.

Oh, knock it off, kid.

Don't you touch it. I'm warning you!

Ahh!

[SIREN WAILING]

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Stop!

Stop it! Stop it!

Stop it! Stop it!

Help! Somebody help me!

Police!

Police!

I would have gotten away,

but I was surrounded by that fire truck.

Yeah, I heard it with my own ears!

It kept chasing me around, squirting water at me!

Well, that's right!

Well, that's the way it is with fire trucks.

What do you mean?

Look, come on, buddy.

You can tell your story to the sergeant.

You'll brighten up the whole night for him.

Goodnight. Goodnight.

Phew.

I'm sorry I broke my promise, Mrs. Stephens.

Well, that's all right, Merle. I'm glad you did.

I bet this is the first time a burglar was ever captured

by a hairbrush.

That's right.

A hairbrush?

What hairbrush? I never saw a hairbrush!

I thought it was a fire truck. What are you all talking about?

This is the silliest thing I ever heard of!

A hairbrush?!

Samantha, I'll get you a new hairbrush to replace that one.

Don't bother. It was a pleasure having Merle.

It was very educational.

Did he, uh, behave himself?

He was just fine.

Well, let's go, Walter. I'm anxious to get home.

GLADYS: Hi there! Hi!

Hello, Merle! Are these your parents?

Uh, I'm Gladys Kravitz from across the street.

You ought to have Merle's ears looked at.

He's been having trouble with them.

Honestly!

I was so excited after what happened last night,

I couldn't sleep another wink.

People say, "How can you live in that dull neighborhood?"

But I don't think it's dull at all.

You folks should have--

Hey, where are they?! Where'd they go?!

They were here just a minute ago!

They, uh, walked down the street and then went around the corner

while you were talking, Mrs. Kravitz.

Well, I wasn't talking that long, was I?

Was I?

Or was I?

I guess I was, I--?

Come on in the house, Mrs. Kravitz.

I'll give you a scoop of sugar.

[♪♪♪]