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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,153 --> 00:00:04,986 MAN [OVER RADIO]: On your way out? 2 00:00:04,988 --> 00:00:07,523 If you want to make sure you have a good time, stop. 3 00:00:07,525 --> 00:00:11,827 Go to the nearest mirror and take a good look at yourself. 4 00:00:11,829 --> 00:00:14,262 Are you really attractive? 5 00:00:15,533 --> 00:00:18,834 I mean, as attractive as you can be? 6 00:00:20,003 --> 00:00:22,971 We don't think so. 7 00:00:22,973 --> 00:00:24,940 Maybe it's your hair. 8 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,475 Yes, hair. 9 00:00:26,477 --> 00:00:29,511 Ever wanted to see yourself as a flaming redhead? 10 00:00:29,513 --> 00:00:31,246 We think you can be a knockout. 11 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:34,049 We can make you anything you want to be. 12 00:00:34,051 --> 00:00:36,051 And remember, if you don't like the result, 13 00:00:36,053 --> 00:00:38,019 you can easily rinse it out. 14 00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:40,188 Use our brand of magic. 15 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:42,491 Even your neighbors won't recognize you. 16 00:00:44,528 --> 00:00:46,862 Perhaps you'd be happier as a brunette. 17 00:00:46,864 --> 00:00:49,264 We guarantee you'll be a knockout in any color 18 00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:50,532 [DOORBELL RINGS] 19 00:00:50,534 --> 00:00:52,300 with Tortoise and Hare, 20 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,570 H-A-R-E, color preparations. 21 00:00:54,572 --> 00:00:58,039 It's the old story of the tortoise and the hare. 22 00:00:58,041 --> 00:00:59,107 [CLICKS RADIO OFF] 23 00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:00,576 [DOORBELL RINGS] 24 00:01:10,454 --> 00:01:11,820 Hello, Mrs. Stephens. 25 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,655 I ran out of sugar and I wondered if... 26 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:14,723 [GASPS] 27 00:01:14,725 --> 00:01:16,424 Ooh! 28 00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:18,460 Is something the matter? 29 00:01:19,196 --> 00:01:20,829 Your hair changed color. 30 00:01:21,532 --> 00:01:22,564 It's a wig. 31 00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:26,034 You sure got it on fast. 32 00:01:27,204 --> 00:01:28,504 [GASPS] 33 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,739 What happened to the mirror that was hanging there? 34 00:01:30,741 --> 00:01:32,007 What mirror? 35 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,609 Well, I was sure I saw a mirror, 36 00:01:33,611 --> 00:01:35,343 and you were looking, uh... 37 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,445 Mrs. Kravitz, why don't we go into the kitchen? 38 00:01:37,447 --> 00:01:38,614 I'll get you your sugar. 39 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,718 Does your husband like your hair like that? 40 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,554 Well, he hasn't seen it yet. I want it to be a surprise. 41 00:01:45,556 --> 00:01:47,222 He doesn't like you as a blond? 42 00:01:47,224 --> 00:01:49,124 Oh, well, it isn't that. 43 00:01:49,126 --> 00:01:50,592 I think that every man likes 44 00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:53,128 a little variety in his daily life, don't you? 45 00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:56,164 Besides, it's easy to become bored with the same old face. 46 00:01:56,166 --> 00:01:57,766 You may be right. 47 00:01:57,768 --> 00:01:58,867 Come to think of it, 48 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,037 Abner hasn't been his old self lately. 49 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:04,105 You sure one cup's gonna be enough? 50 00:02:04,107 --> 00:02:06,408 He doesn't even kiss me good night anymore. 51 00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:09,144 Last night he just shook my hand. 52 00:02:09,146 --> 00:02:11,914 Well, some people have different ways 53 00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:13,281 of showing affection. 54 00:02:13,283 --> 00:02:15,617 It wasn't even a friendly handshake. 55 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,420 Excuse me. 56 00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:24,526 [♪♪♪] 57 00:03:09,707 --> 00:03:11,840 [PHONE RINGING] 58 00:03:11,842 --> 00:03:13,609 Hello? Hi, honey. 59 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:16,812 Oh, hi, sweetheart. Everything okay? 60 00:03:16,814 --> 00:03:17,946 Sure, why? 61 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,547 I thought something had gone wrong, 62 00:03:19,549 --> 00:03:20,916 and you couldn't make it. 63 00:03:20,918 --> 00:03:23,384 Honey, I wouldn't let anything interfere with tonight. 64 00:03:23,386 --> 00:03:24,786 I just wanted to ask you to bring 65 00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,454 that mystery story I was reading. 66 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,590 Oh, I'll put it in with the things I packed. 67 00:03:28,592 --> 00:03:31,093 And I'll meet you in the hotel lobby at 6:00. 68 00:03:31,095 --> 00:03:33,895 At 6. Bye, sweetheart. 69 00:03:33,897 --> 00:03:35,831 Bye. 70 00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:37,899 You going away someplace? 71 00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:40,969 Darrin and I are spending the night at the President Hotel. 72 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,871 We do that once in a while. What for? 73 00:03:42,873 --> 00:03:46,174 Well, to get away from the drudgery of everyday life. 74 00:03:46,176 --> 00:03:48,243 We relax, have a nice dinner in our room, 75 00:03:48,245 --> 00:03:49,845 get to know each other all over again 76 00:03:49,847 --> 00:03:51,312 without having to worry about 77 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,781 phones that ring, dishes to wash. 78 00:03:52,783 --> 00:03:53,782 You know how it is. 79 00:03:53,784 --> 00:03:56,685 Hm. I'm trying to remember. 80 00:03:56,687 --> 00:03:59,721 You mean Mr. Stephens goes for that romantic stuff? 81 00:03:59,723 --> 00:04:02,557 Well, I don't think he'd want any of his friends to know, 82 00:04:02,559 --> 00:04:04,793 but just between you and me, I think he enjoys it. 83 00:04:04,795 --> 00:04:07,328 I've got to hand it to you, Mrs. Stephens. 84 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,998 You certainly know how to keep the magic in your marriage. 85 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,000 Well, I keep trying. 86 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,879 I thought we'd use a distinctive motif 87 00:04:23,881 --> 00:04:25,080 in the campaign, Larry. 88 00:04:25,082 --> 00:04:26,614 I have a few sketches in the office 89 00:04:26,616 --> 00:04:27,916 I'd like you to take a look at. 90 00:04:27,918 --> 00:04:29,551 And... 91 00:04:29,553 --> 00:04:30,618 Larry? 92 00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:32,287 Pretty girl. Uh-huh. 93 00:04:32,289 --> 00:04:34,422 I have a couple of ideas on the subject. 94 00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:35,757 So have I. 95 00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:37,826 I was thinking of the campaign. 96 00:04:37,828 --> 00:04:38,994 Oh. 97 00:04:42,099 --> 00:04:44,833 All the letters for you to sign are on your desk, Mr. Stephens. 98 00:04:44,835 --> 00:04:46,534 Thanks, Ellen. 99 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,503 Here, take a look at these, Larry. 100 00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:49,971 See what you think. 101 00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:53,775 Larry? 102 00:04:53,777 --> 00:04:55,476 Larry, will you put your eyeballs back 103 00:04:55,478 --> 00:04:57,179 and take a look at these? 104 00:04:57,181 --> 00:05:00,682 Look, just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm dead. 105 00:05:00,684 --> 00:05:02,317 It's very frustrating 106 00:05:02,319 --> 00:05:05,253 when I think of all that charm and sex appeal going to waste. 107 00:05:05,255 --> 00:05:06,254 Ellen's? 108 00:05:06,256 --> 00:05:08,423 No, mine. 109 00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:10,425 You talk a great game, Larry, 110 00:05:10,427 --> 00:05:12,393 but I think you're a sheep in wolf's clothing. 111 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,129 Now will you please take a look at these? 112 00:05:14,131 --> 00:05:16,098 Maybe we can go over 'em on the train tonight. 113 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,900 No, I'm staying in town tonight. Yeah? 114 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,469 Look, I'm half-planning on meeting Louise in town. 115 00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:24,072 Give Sam a call, and the four of us could make a night of it. 116 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,742 Uh, no, I'm afraid we can't make it tonight. 117 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,343 I have something to take care of. 118 00:05:28,345 --> 00:05:30,612 Well, there's nothing pressing here, is there? 119 00:05:30,614 --> 00:05:31,880 No, it's a personal matter. 120 00:05:31,882 --> 00:05:33,381 Maybe some other time, huh? 121 00:05:33,383 --> 00:05:34,783 [INTERCOM BUZZES] 122 00:05:34,785 --> 00:05:36,218 Yes? 123 00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:37,352 Sure, put her on. 124 00:05:37,354 --> 00:05:38,720 It's for you. Louise. 125 00:05:41,725 --> 00:05:45,360 Hi, honey. Decided on what you wanna do yet? 126 00:05:45,362 --> 00:05:47,262 Oh, I don't care. What do you wanna do? 127 00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,697 I don't know. What do you wanna do? 128 00:05:49,699 --> 00:05:51,933 Oh, anything. But you make up your mind. 129 00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,368 I'll do anything you wanna do. 130 00:05:53,370 --> 00:05:56,171 Okay. Let's go to a ball game. 131 00:05:56,173 --> 00:05:57,472 No, I don't wanna do that. 132 00:05:57,474 --> 00:05:59,040 Since I'm already in town, 133 00:05:59,042 --> 00:06:01,176 why don't I go to the ball game on my own, hm? 134 00:06:01,178 --> 00:06:02,510 Well, okay. 135 00:06:02,512 --> 00:06:05,013 Maybe I'll give Samantha a call and drop over there. 136 00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:08,049 You do that, and I'll pick you up over there later. 137 00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:12,020 Want company for dinner? 138 00:06:12,022 --> 00:06:14,389 Sorry, Larry. I have an appointment. 139 00:06:14,391 --> 00:06:15,423 Oh. 140 00:06:15,425 --> 00:06:17,959 Well... see you tomorrow. 141 00:06:18,662 --> 00:06:20,295 [INTERCOM BUZZES] 142 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,330 Yes? 143 00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:24,565 Mr. Stephens, the President Hotel just called 144 00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:26,968 and confirmed your reservations for tonight. 145 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,536 All right. 146 00:06:28,538 --> 00:06:30,505 Did you say Darrin had reservations 147 00:06:30,507 --> 00:06:31,773 at the President Hotel? 148 00:06:31,775 --> 00:06:33,275 Yes, sir. 149 00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:37,012 Why, that son of a gun. 150 00:06:37,014 --> 00:06:38,046 I beg your pardon? 151 00:06:38,048 --> 00:06:39,447 That boy deserves an Oscar. 152 00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:40,882 He had me completely convinced. 153 00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:42,851 Who? 154 00:06:42,853 --> 00:06:44,319 Never mind. 155 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,857 That son of a gun. 156 00:07:14,885 --> 00:07:16,417 Got a light? 157 00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:17,819 Mm-hmm. Sure. 158 00:07:24,895 --> 00:07:28,263 My, you do have strong hands. 159 00:07:28,265 --> 00:07:31,366 I beg your pardon. 160 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,400 Sam! 161 00:07:32,402 --> 00:07:33,835 [GIGGLES] 162 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,537 What have you done to yourself? 163 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,906 What do you think of the new me? 164 00:07:37,908 --> 00:07:39,741 Well, I don't know. 165 00:07:39,743 --> 00:07:43,544 I don't think the old model is quite obsolete yet. 166 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,280 Thank you, darling. 167 00:07:45,282 --> 00:07:47,349 Bleachers? That all you got? 168 00:07:47,351 --> 00:07:48,649 Afraid so, Mr. Tate. 169 00:07:48,651 --> 00:07:50,551 But I'll freeze without a coat. 170 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,820 Yeah, but it should be a great game. 171 00:07:52,822 --> 00:07:54,923 Ohhh. Not worth pneumonia. 172 00:07:54,925 --> 00:07:57,092 I think I'll skip it. 173 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,365 [♪♪♪] 174 00:08:12,175 --> 00:08:15,043 That son of a gun. 175 00:08:19,783 --> 00:08:21,849 There. That better? Much. 176 00:08:21,851 --> 00:08:23,151 What did you do with the wig? 177 00:08:23,153 --> 00:08:25,320 Oh, easy come, easy go. 178 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,822 How could I ever possibly 179 00:08:27,824 --> 00:08:29,584 become interested in anyone else? 180 00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,228 What brought that on? 181 00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:35,230 Well, never mind. 182 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,334 Sam, can I ask you a hypothetical question? 183 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,037 Yes, I'd know. 184 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,139 What? 185 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,875 If you became interested in another woman. 186 00:08:47,877 --> 00:08:49,811 You really have that sort of power? 187 00:08:49,813 --> 00:08:54,049 That's for me to know, and you better not try and find out. 188 00:08:54,918 --> 00:08:56,484 You wanna watch some TV? 189 00:08:56,486 --> 00:08:58,286 No, I thought I'd finish 190 00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,887 that mystery story I was reading. 191 00:08:59,889 --> 00:09:01,589 I only have three chapters left to go. 192 00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:03,191 Where is it, honey? 193 00:09:03,193 --> 00:09:04,926 I knew I'd forgotten something. 194 00:09:04,928 --> 00:09:07,362 Oh, Sam, I specifically asked you to bring it. 195 00:09:07,364 --> 00:09:09,630 Well, there's no problem. I'll pop home and get it. 196 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,865 It'll only take a minute. 197 00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:12,200 Never mind. 198 00:09:12,202 --> 00:09:14,769 You wanna know who the murderer is, don't you? 199 00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:15,770 Well... 200 00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:18,173 Only be a second. 201 00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:24,446 Sometimes I think I'm married to Peter Pan. 202 00:09:32,622 --> 00:09:34,155 [DOORBELL RINGS] 203 00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:44,165 Oh! Uh, Larry, what are you doing here? 204 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,666 Well, isn't Louise here? 205 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:46,701 No, she isn't. 206 00:09:46,703 --> 00:09:48,403 Well, that's funny. 207 00:09:48,405 --> 00:09:51,106 I guess she decided to stay home after all. 208 00:09:51,108 --> 00:09:53,941 Well, I'm sorry, Sam. I guess I disturbed you. 209 00:09:53,943 --> 00:09:56,544 Oh, I wasn't going to bed. 210 00:09:56,546 --> 00:09:57,745 As a matter of fact, 211 00:09:57,747 --> 00:09:59,580 I was just gonna get dressed and go out. 212 00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:01,216 At this time of night? 213 00:10:01,218 --> 00:10:02,950 Yes, I thought I'd surprise Darrin. 214 00:10:02,952 --> 00:10:04,285 Oh. 215 00:10:04,287 --> 00:10:06,121 He's working late at the office. 216 00:10:06,123 --> 00:10:08,563 I thought I'd pick him up, and we could get something to eat. 217 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,960 Can I offer you some coffee or something? 218 00:10:12,962 --> 00:10:14,929 No. No, thanks, Sam. I... 219 00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:16,597 I have some business to attend to. 220 00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:18,866 Bye. Good night. 221 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,273 GLADYS: Abner! 222 00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:26,874 Uh-huh? 223 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,577 I've got a surprise! 224 00:10:29,579 --> 00:10:31,346 Mm-hmm. 225 00:10:31,348 --> 00:10:34,282 [♪♪♪] 226 00:10:34,284 --> 00:10:35,917 Hi there. 227 00:10:35,919 --> 00:10:37,185 Hi. 228 00:10:39,322 --> 00:10:42,257 You've had your nose stuck in that book all day. 229 00:10:42,259 --> 00:10:44,292 I wanna see how it turns out. 230 00:10:44,294 --> 00:10:46,594 It's about the Civil War! 231 00:10:46,596 --> 00:10:48,896 The North won! 232 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,998 Let me find out for myself, huh? 233 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,500 Abner? 234 00:10:52,502 --> 00:10:53,901 What is it, Gladys? 235 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,237 I want you to look at me. 236 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,276 So? I'm looking. 237 00:11:02,345 --> 00:11:04,179 But you're not seeing me. 238 00:11:04,181 --> 00:11:06,281 You haven't really looked at me in years. 239 00:11:06,283 --> 00:11:08,849 I don't have to. I already committed you to memory. 240 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,721 Abner, don't you notice something different? 241 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:17,992 Oh, you bought new shoes? 242 00:11:18,695 --> 00:11:20,128 [GROWLS] 243 00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:21,862 [GRUNTING] 244 00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,933 [♪♪♪] 245 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,275 Did you find out who done it? 246 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,611 Mm-hm. Wouldn't have been able to sleep if I hadn't. 247 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,612 [BOTH LAUGH] 248 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,779 [KNOCKING] 249 00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:40,215 What's a seven-letter word...? 250 00:11:40,217 --> 00:11:42,617 LARRY: Darrin, open up. It's Larry. 251 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:43,618 How did he know...? 252 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,986 Oops. 253 00:11:44,988 --> 00:11:46,721 I'd better make myself scarce. 254 00:11:48,391 --> 00:11:50,024 Sam. 255 00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:52,360 Honey, you don't have to hide. W... 256 00:11:52,362 --> 00:11:53,361 Sa... 257 00:11:53,363 --> 00:11:54,862 [KNOCKING CONTINUES] 258 00:11:54,864 --> 00:11:56,498 [SIGHS] 259 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,735 [LAUGHS] 260 00:12:00,737 --> 00:12:02,069 You son of a gun. 261 00:12:02,071 --> 00:12:03,070 What? 262 00:12:03,072 --> 00:12:04,172 I should've known. 263 00:12:04,174 --> 00:12:06,407 The quiet ones are always the worst. 264 00:12:06,409 --> 00:12:09,110 Have you been drinking, Larry? Oh, come on, Darrin. 265 00:12:09,112 --> 00:12:10,911 I saw the brunette downstairs. 266 00:12:10,913 --> 00:12:12,813 Brunette? 267 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,949 Oh, that brunette. 268 00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:16,884 [BOTH LAUGHING] 269 00:12:17,687 --> 00:12:19,354 That was Samantha. 270 00:12:19,356 --> 00:12:21,656 Boy, you never give up, do you? 271 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,691 I'm telling you, that was Samantha. 272 00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:26,628 Oh, come on, Darrin. I saw her with my own eyes. 273 00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:28,396 Now, you come on, Larry. 274 00:12:28,398 --> 00:12:30,398 Samantha? Samantha? 275 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,800 Come on out. Appear before me. Darrin, this is silly. 276 00:12:32,802 --> 00:12:34,001 Let's go, Sam. Come on. 277 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,637 You don't have to put on an act for me. 278 00:12:35,639 --> 00:12:36,971 Let's go, Sam. 279 00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:40,007 Darrin, I was just at your house talking to Sam. 280 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,108 I don't care if you... 281 00:12:41,110 --> 00:12:43,144 You were what? 282 00:12:43,146 --> 00:12:46,381 Twenty minutes ago. I drove here like a maniac. But... 283 00:12:46,383 --> 00:12:48,749 You gonna tell me this Sam can be in two places 284 00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:49,917 at the same time? 285 00:12:49,919 --> 00:12:52,953 No, I'm not gonna tell you that. 286 00:12:53,723 --> 00:12:55,323 You son of a gun. 287 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,094 Well... you got me, Larry. 288 00:13:00,096 --> 00:13:01,296 [BOTH LAUGH] 289 00:13:01,298 --> 00:13:02,763 Yeah, you're right. 290 00:13:02,765 --> 00:13:05,366 Nobody's perfect, right? Right. 291 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:08,603 I hate to be inhospitable, but, you know... 292 00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:09,637 Sure. 293 00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:11,038 Oh. 294 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,607 Wait, I better tell you why I'm here. 295 00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:13,608 Why? 296 00:13:13,610 --> 00:13:14,942 Sam's on her way to the office. 297 00:13:14,944 --> 00:13:17,745 So if I were you, I'd get on over there, boy. 298 00:13:17,747 --> 00:13:19,614 Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. 299 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,151 You son of a gun. 300 00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:28,089 Oh, great. 301 00:13:28,091 --> 00:13:31,426 Samantha? Samantha! 302 00:13:31,428 --> 00:13:33,661 I'm not sure I like his attitude. 303 00:13:33,663 --> 00:13:35,763 It's entirely too... French. 304 00:13:35,765 --> 00:13:37,599 Why didn't you tell me you saw Larry? 305 00:13:37,601 --> 00:13:39,100 You never asked. 306 00:13:39,102 --> 00:13:41,168 The doorbell rang, so I answered it. 307 00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:42,303 Did you have to answer it? 308 00:13:42,305 --> 00:13:44,439 How could I possibly know it was Larry? 309 00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:46,574 I thought you were pretty good at that thing. 310 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:47,875 You needn't get huffy. 311 00:13:47,877 --> 00:13:48,876 What am I gonna tell him? 312 00:13:48,878 --> 00:13:50,245 If I tell him the truth, 313 00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:52,980 he's liable to suspect that you're a, you know. 314 00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:54,282 Go ahead, Darrin. 315 00:13:54,284 --> 00:13:56,751 You can say it. You're among friends. "Witch." 316 00:13:57,987 --> 00:14:01,021 Samantha, Larry's eaten up with curiosity. 317 00:14:01,023 --> 00:14:02,990 He's not going to stop until he finds out 318 00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:04,492 who the other woman is. 319 00:14:04,494 --> 00:14:07,428 Darling, you've done nothing to be ashamed of. 320 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,398 There's nothing wrong with being interested in two women... 321 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,499 [SILENTLY] What? 322 00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:13,668 As long as they're both your wife. 323 00:14:20,543 --> 00:14:21,942 LOUISE: Oh, I meant to tell you. 324 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,178 The other night, instead of going to Samantha's, 325 00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:26,213 I went with Mabel to the high school play. 326 00:14:26,215 --> 00:14:28,015 Her son was very good. 327 00:14:28,017 --> 00:14:29,484 Mmm? 328 00:14:29,486 --> 00:14:31,352 Larry, are you listening to me? 329 00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:32,353 Sure I am. 330 00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:34,221 Anyway, on the way home, 331 00:14:34,223 --> 00:14:36,257 we were attacked by two masked bandits, 332 00:14:36,259 --> 00:14:38,726 knocked unconscious and shipped to the casbah. 333 00:14:38,728 --> 00:14:40,395 Glad you had a nice time, dear. 334 00:14:40,397 --> 00:14:43,364 Don't you think it's a little undignified for a man your age 335 00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:45,966 to have a lifetime subscription to a magazine like that? 336 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,102 It has some very interesting articles. 337 00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,004 Sure, and they all fold out. 338 00:14:50,006 --> 00:14:52,674 I meant, it has intellectual content. 339 00:14:52,676 --> 00:14:54,375 You mean the girls wear glasses? 340 00:14:54,377 --> 00:14:57,312 Louise, every man likes to look at pretty girls. 341 00:14:57,314 --> 00:15:00,481 It's a normal, healthy American pastime. 342 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,317 Something you wives don't understand. 343 00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:06,354 Because it's not true. Some men grow up. 344 00:15:06,356 --> 00:15:08,189 Name one. 345 00:15:08,191 --> 00:15:09,590 Well... 346 00:15:09,592 --> 00:15:10,825 Darrin, for one. 347 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,361 I bet he doesn't ogle girls. 348 00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:16,664 Well... Darrin's not as perfect as you think. 349 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,833 You mean he buys magazines like that? 350 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,100 He doesn't have to. 351 00:15:20,102 --> 00:15:21,902 Because he's married to Samantha? 352 00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:23,471 I mean... 353 00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:27,375 Of course, that's what I meant. 354 00:15:27,377 --> 00:15:30,478 No, you didn't. What are you trying to hide? 355 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,447 Why do you think I'm trying to hide something? 356 00:15:32,449 --> 00:15:35,049 Your skull is moving back and forth. 357 00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:37,284 It always does that when you're hiding something. 358 00:15:37,286 --> 00:15:40,054 Louise, you can question me all night, 359 00:15:40,056 --> 00:15:42,089 and you'll never find out a thing. 360 00:15:42,091 --> 00:15:43,257 Darrin? 361 00:15:44,594 --> 00:15:46,260 Now can I go to sleep? 362 00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:48,229 You actually saw this brunette? 363 00:15:48,231 --> 00:15:51,733 Louise, if you breathe a word of this to anyone, I'll... 364 00:15:51,735 --> 00:15:53,568 I'll cut off your charge accounts. 365 00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:55,470 Poor Samantha. 366 00:15:55,472 --> 00:15:57,538 Especially to Samantha. 367 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,708 Now repeat after me: 368 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,111 I promise I will not mention this to Samantha. 369 00:16:04,113 --> 00:16:05,480 Oh, Larry. 370 00:16:05,482 --> 00:16:08,282 Say it. Oh, okay. 371 00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:11,486 I promise I will not mention this to Samantha. 372 00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:13,855 [GROANS] 373 00:16:15,492 --> 00:16:16,824 Hello, Samantha? 374 00:16:16,826 --> 00:16:18,726 Yes, this is Samantha. 375 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,762 May I speak to Darrin, please? 376 00:16:20,764 --> 00:16:22,162 Is that you, Louise? 377 00:16:22,164 --> 00:16:25,065 How are you, dear? How have you been feeling? 378 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,434 Oh, just fine. 379 00:16:26,436 --> 00:16:29,570 Well, I just want you to know you're not alone. 380 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,939 You always have friends if you need them. 381 00:16:31,941 --> 00:16:35,576 Well, thank you, Louise. I'll get Darrin. 382 00:16:37,013 --> 00:16:38,880 I think she knows. 383 00:16:38,882 --> 00:16:40,114 Did she say so? 384 00:16:40,116 --> 00:16:42,650 No, but she's treating me as if you just died. 385 00:16:42,652 --> 00:16:45,152 I don't see how she could know. Hello, Louise. 386 00:16:45,154 --> 00:16:46,921 Good morning, bluebeard. 387 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,589 She knows. 388 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:51,292 I realize you can't talk, so just listen. 389 00:16:51,294 --> 00:16:53,494 Meet me in the lobby of the President Hotel 390 00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:55,596 this afternoon at 3:00. 391 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,799 And promise not to tell Larry. 392 00:16:57,801 --> 00:17:01,201 I want to talk some sense into you. Goodbye. 393 00:17:01,203 --> 00:17:02,303 Okay... 394 00:17:03,706 --> 00:17:05,272 What'd she say? 395 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,341 She's determined to save our marriage. 396 00:17:07,343 --> 00:17:08,843 I don't like this, Samantha. 397 00:17:08,845 --> 00:17:10,044 Well, neither do I. 398 00:17:10,046 --> 00:17:12,146 I guess there's only one thing you can do. 399 00:17:12,148 --> 00:17:13,681 Tell her you're a witch? 400 00:17:13,683 --> 00:17:14,882 No. 401 00:17:14,884 --> 00:17:16,250 Listen to her, look guilty 402 00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:17,552 and promise to give her up. 403 00:17:17,554 --> 00:17:18,553 Her? 404 00:17:18,555 --> 00:17:19,987 The other woman. 405 00:17:19,989 --> 00:17:22,423 Obviously, one of me has got to go. 406 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,493 [FLUTE PLAYING LIVELY MELODY] 407 00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:31,499 Abner, I'm home. 408 00:17:34,337 --> 00:17:36,170 Well, don't you have anything to say? 409 00:17:36,172 --> 00:17:38,305 Did you remember to get my corn plasters? 410 00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:41,742 Put that flute down. 411 00:17:41,744 --> 00:17:43,845 I wanna talk to you. 412 00:17:43,847 --> 00:17:46,246 Abner, don't you ever think of romance anymore? 413 00:17:46,248 --> 00:17:49,249 Gladys, please. I'm retired. 414 00:17:49,251 --> 00:17:51,385 We've got to face facts. 415 00:17:51,387 --> 00:17:52,553 Now, over the years 416 00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:54,421 we've come to take each other for granted. 417 00:17:54,423 --> 00:17:56,390 Well, I think we should do something about it. 418 00:17:56,392 --> 00:17:58,359 Now, what have you got in mind? 419 00:17:58,361 --> 00:18:01,195 I've made a reservation at a hotel downtown. 420 00:18:01,197 --> 00:18:02,864 We'll spend the weekend there, 421 00:18:02,866 --> 00:18:05,165 away from the drudgery of everyday living. 422 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:08,268 We'll relax and really get to know each other again. 423 00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:10,270 How about it, Abner? 424 00:18:10,272 --> 00:18:11,639 I don't know, Gladys. 425 00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:13,708 It seems like a lot of trouble to save a marriage. 426 00:18:13,710 --> 00:18:15,910 Besides, I know you well enough already. 427 00:18:15,912 --> 00:18:19,346 Oh, no, you don't. Look at me carefully. 428 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,148 There's something different about me. 429 00:18:21,150 --> 00:18:22,190 Now, what is it Abner? 430 00:18:26,288 --> 00:18:28,122 Is it animal, vegetable or mineral? 431 00:18:28,124 --> 00:18:29,891 Ooh! 432 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:36,764 Darrin in his office? 433 00:18:36,766 --> 00:18:39,500 No, he left the building about 10 minutes ago. 434 00:18:39,502 --> 00:18:41,569 Three in the afternoon? 435 00:18:41,571 --> 00:18:43,971 Did he say where he's going, or when he'd be back? 436 00:18:43,973 --> 00:18:44,972 No, he didn't. 437 00:18:44,974 --> 00:18:46,807 Well, I've got to get hold of him. 438 00:18:46,809 --> 00:18:48,709 Look, get Mrs. Stephens on the phone. 439 00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:49,844 I'll take it here. 440 00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,116 [PHONE RINGING] 441 00:18:56,118 --> 00:18:57,284 Hello? 442 00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:58,819 Uh, Sam, this is Larry. 443 00:18:58,821 --> 00:19:00,788 Do you, by any chance, know where Darrin is? 444 00:19:00,790 --> 00:19:02,423 Why? Is something wrong? 445 00:19:02,425 --> 00:19:04,992 Well, we had a meeting scheduled for tomorrow morning. 446 00:19:04,994 --> 00:19:06,393 I just heard from the client, 447 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,596 and he has to leave for the West Coast tonight. 448 00:19:08,598 --> 00:19:11,331 He wanted the meeting pushed up to 4 this afternoon. 449 00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:13,167 Unfortunately, I can't find Darrin. 450 00:19:13,169 --> 00:19:14,902 Well, you might try paging him 451 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,771 in the lobby of the President Hotel. 452 00:19:16,773 --> 00:19:18,505 The President Hotel? 453 00:19:18,507 --> 00:19:20,975 Yes, he's meeting someone there. 454 00:19:20,977 --> 00:19:22,109 Thanks, Sam. 455 00:19:22,111 --> 00:19:24,178 You're welcome, Larry. Bye. 456 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,783 I know that young people have trouble 457 00:19:28,785 --> 00:19:29,884 adjusting to each other 458 00:19:29,886 --> 00:19:31,552 in their first year of marriage, but... 459 00:19:31,554 --> 00:19:32,920 You're right, Louise. 460 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,489 And I promise to give her up. It was just one of those things. 461 00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:36,958 I'd better get back to the office. 462 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,560 Sit down. I'm not through with you yet. 463 00:19:48,671 --> 00:19:49,904 [♪♪♪] 464 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,815 Now, you know, I wouldn't be here, Darrin, 465 00:20:00,817 --> 00:20:03,150 if I weren't very fond of you. 466 00:20:03,152 --> 00:20:05,620 I realize that, Louise. 467 00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:12,627 [GASPS] Louise. 468 00:20:17,867 --> 00:20:18,933 Abner? 469 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:21,869 What did you do to your head? 470 00:20:21,871 --> 00:20:23,170 You noticed. 471 00:20:23,172 --> 00:20:24,538 Well, who wouldn't? 472 00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:27,108 It looks like you just stuck your finger in a light socket. 473 00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:28,208 Well, You didn't before. 474 00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:29,576 Before what? 475 00:20:29,578 --> 00:20:31,912 When I wore the platinum wig and the blond wig. 476 00:20:31,914 --> 00:20:34,481 Well, I couldn't notice that. I'm color-blind. 477 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,716 Color-blind? 478 00:20:35,718 --> 00:20:36,751 You knew that. 479 00:20:36,753 --> 00:20:38,853 That's wonderful. 480 00:20:38,855 --> 00:20:40,087 I thought you didn't care, 481 00:20:40,089 --> 00:20:43,057 but you were only color-blind. 482 00:20:43,059 --> 00:20:44,992 I'll get your medicine, Gladys. 483 00:20:46,029 --> 00:20:47,194 [LAUGHS] 484 00:20:50,767 --> 00:20:51,799 Oh, hi, Larry. 485 00:20:51,801 --> 00:20:54,068 You philanderer, you. What? 486 00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:57,038 Oh, no wonder you wouldn't tell me what the girl's name was. 487 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,339 Why... No, no, don't try to lie about it. 488 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:00,975 All the pieces have fallen into place 489 00:21:00,977 --> 00:21:02,442 to make a horrible picture. 490 00:21:02,444 --> 00:21:04,879 Larry, you're supposed to be liberal-minded 491 00:21:04,881 --> 00:21:06,801 about this sort of thing, right? 492 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:11,919 You go near Louise again, and you're fired. 493 00:21:22,165 --> 00:21:24,231 What is this? An old witch's cure? 494 00:21:24,233 --> 00:21:27,802 Nope, a young witch's cure, called beefsteak. 495 00:21:27,804 --> 00:21:29,770 I'm worried about this whole plan. 496 00:21:29,772 --> 00:21:31,038 We've got to do something 497 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,307 to patch up your friendship with Larry. 498 00:21:33,309 --> 00:21:35,076 Also, I can't let something I did 499 00:21:35,078 --> 00:21:37,244 come between Larry and Louise. 500 00:21:37,246 --> 00:21:38,713 Can't we just tell him our story 501 00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:40,915 instead of staging this ridiculous scene? 502 00:21:40,917 --> 00:21:41,916 Certainly. 503 00:21:41,918 --> 00:21:42,983 All you have to do is say, 504 00:21:42,985 --> 00:21:44,651 "Larry, my wife is a w..." 505 00:21:44,653 --> 00:21:46,120 Forget it. 506 00:21:46,122 --> 00:21:47,221 Where's Larry now? 507 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,190 In his office. 508 00:21:49,192 --> 00:21:50,457 Mm-hmm. 509 00:21:50,459 --> 00:21:52,126 Louise should be here any minute. 510 00:21:52,128 --> 00:21:53,160 Good. 511 00:21:53,162 --> 00:21:55,096 [DOOR OPENS] 512 00:21:55,832 --> 00:21:57,664 Hi, honey. 513 00:22:03,773 --> 00:22:05,139 Ho-ho! 514 00:22:05,141 --> 00:22:06,140 I love the way your face 515 00:22:06,142 --> 00:22:07,674 lights up when I enter a room. 516 00:22:07,676 --> 00:22:09,176 What do you expect? 517 00:22:09,178 --> 00:22:11,011 What's the matter, Larry? 518 00:22:11,013 --> 00:22:13,180 You look like you just lost your best friend. 519 00:22:13,182 --> 00:22:15,415 Huh. Who cares about that? 520 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,618 Are you coming down with something? 521 00:22:17,620 --> 00:22:18,919 Maybe you need a shot. 522 00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:21,321 That's the best idea I've heard all day. 523 00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:25,760 Larry, you wanna tell me what's bothering you? 524 00:22:28,131 --> 00:22:29,596 Louise... 525 00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,766 where were you today? [GASPS] 526 00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:33,200 Oh. You found out, huh? 527 00:22:33,202 --> 00:22:35,035 Yes, I found out. 528 00:22:35,037 --> 00:22:36,971 Oh, darn. 529 00:22:36,973 --> 00:22:39,940 I specifically told Darrin not to mention it to you. 530 00:22:41,543 --> 00:22:43,177 Is that all you've got to say? 531 00:22:43,179 --> 00:22:45,612 Well, it is rather disappointing. 532 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:47,347 I mean, who can you trust these days? 533 00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:50,617 Oh, Louise. 534 00:22:52,989 --> 00:22:53,988 [GROANS] 535 00:22:53,990 --> 00:22:55,422 [WOMAN GIGGLING] 536 00:22:57,493 --> 00:22:58,592 What's that? 537 00:22:59,929 --> 00:23:01,395 I don't know. 538 00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:12,039 Darrin, you promised. 539 00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:13,040 Promised what? 540 00:23:13,042 --> 00:23:14,408 Hello there. 541 00:23:14,410 --> 00:23:15,709 Hi. 542 00:23:15,711 --> 00:23:18,712 I don't even wanna talk to you, you... You... 543 00:23:18,714 --> 00:23:20,214 You... 544 00:23:22,584 --> 00:23:23,918 Samantha? 545 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,154 Who else would be kissing Darrin? 546 00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:29,656 Darrin, what happened to your eye? 547 00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:32,426 Yes, er, what happened to your eye, Darrin? 548 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,195 Larry hit me. 549 00:23:34,197 --> 00:23:35,395 Who? You. 550 00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:41,735 He thought you were the other woman in the hotel room. 551 00:23:41,737 --> 00:23:44,071 He thought what? 552 00:23:44,073 --> 00:23:46,506 [LAUGHS] Oh, darling. 553 00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:48,508 You've just made my day. 554 00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:51,445 I told you I went to the high school play with Mabel. 555 00:23:51,447 --> 00:23:53,680 But, as usual, you weren't listening. 556 00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:55,082 I still have the program. 557 00:23:55,084 --> 00:23:56,717 I believe you. 558 00:23:56,719 --> 00:23:59,519 Louise met Darrin in the hotel this afternoon 559 00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:02,289 because she believed what you told her the other night. 560 00:24:02,291 --> 00:24:04,624 She thought she'd be able to help. 561 00:24:04,626 --> 00:24:06,126 But you promised me you wouldn't 562 00:24:06,128 --> 00:24:07,594 say anything to Samantha. 563 00:24:07,596 --> 00:24:09,629 Now look at the mess you've cau... 564 00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,766 Oh, forget it. 565 00:24:12,768 --> 00:24:13,934 SAMANTHA: I have an idea. 566 00:24:13,936 --> 00:24:15,135 Good. 567 00:24:15,137 --> 00:24:17,471 Why don't we all go out somewhere and celebrate? 568 00:24:17,473 --> 00:24:18,739 I'll buy that. 569 00:24:18,741 --> 00:24:20,875 You must let me try your wig on sometime later. 570 00:24:20,877 --> 00:24:22,276 I don't think it'll fit, Louise. 571 00:24:22,278 --> 00:24:23,643 It was custom-made for my head. 572 00:24:23,645 --> 00:24:24,644 Darrin... 573 00:24:24,646 --> 00:24:25,645 just a moment. 574 00:24:25,647 --> 00:24:26,646 Ha...? 575 00:24:26,648 --> 00:24:28,782 How did Samantha get from your house 576 00:24:28,784 --> 00:24:31,352 to the hotel in less than 20 minutes? 577 00:24:31,354 --> 00:24:33,087 She, um... 578 00:24:33,089 --> 00:24:35,455 She's a witch! 579 00:24:35,457 --> 00:24:37,224 [CHUCKLES] 580 00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:38,993 You son of a gun. 581 00:24:46,202 --> 00:24:48,903 [♪♪♪] 39936

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