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1
00:00:03,153 --> 00:00:04,986
MAN [OVER RADIO]:
On your way out?
2
00:00:04,988 --> 00:00:07,523
If you want to make sure
you have a good time, stop.
3
00:00:07,525 --> 00:00:11,827
Go to the nearest mirror and
take a good look at yourself.
4
00:00:11,829 --> 00:00:14,262
Are you really attractive?
5
00:00:15,533 --> 00:00:18,834
I mean, as attractive
as you can be?
6
00:00:20,003 --> 00:00:22,971
We don't think so.
7
00:00:22,973 --> 00:00:24,940
Maybe it's your hair.
8
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,475
Yes, hair.
9
00:00:26,477 --> 00:00:29,511
Ever wanted to see yourself
as a flaming redhead?
10
00:00:29,513 --> 00:00:31,246
We think you can be a knockout.
11
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:34,049
We can make you
anything you want to be.
12
00:00:34,051 --> 00:00:36,051
And remember, if you don't
like the result,
13
00:00:36,053 --> 00:00:38,019
you can easily rinse it out.
14
00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:40,188
Use our brand of magic.
15
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:42,491
Even your neighbors
won't recognize you.
16
00:00:44,528 --> 00:00:46,862
Perhaps you'd be happier
as a brunette.
17
00:00:46,864 --> 00:00:49,264
We guarantee you'll be
a knockout in any color
18
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:50,532
[DOORBELL RINGS]
19
00:00:50,534 --> 00:00:52,300
with Tortoise and Hare,
20
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,570
H-A-R-E, color preparations.
21
00:00:54,572 --> 00:00:58,039
It's the old story
of the tortoise and the hare.
22
00:00:58,041 --> 00:00:59,107
[CLICKS RADIO OFF]
23
00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:00,576
[DOORBELL RINGS]
24
00:01:10,454 --> 00:01:11,820
Hello,
Mrs. Stephens.
25
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,655
I ran out of sugar
and I wondered if...
26
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:14,723
[GASPS]
27
00:01:14,725 --> 00:01:16,424
Ooh!
28
00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:18,460
Is something the matter?
29
00:01:19,196 --> 00:01:20,829
Your hair changed color.
30
00:01:21,532 --> 00:01:22,564
It's a wig.
31
00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:26,034
You sure got it on fast.
32
00:01:27,204 --> 00:01:28,504
[GASPS]
33
00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,739
What happened to the mirror
that was hanging there?
34
00:01:30,741 --> 00:01:32,007
What mirror?
35
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,609
Well, I was sure I saw a mirror,
36
00:01:33,611 --> 00:01:35,343
and you were looking, uh...
37
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,445
Mrs. Kravitz,
why don't we go
into the kitchen?
38
00:01:37,447 --> 00:01:38,614
I'll get you your sugar.
39
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,718
Does your husband
like your hair
like that?
40
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,554
Well, he hasn't seen it yet.
I want it to be a surprise.
41
00:01:45,556 --> 00:01:47,222
He doesn't like you as a blond?
42
00:01:47,224 --> 00:01:49,124
Oh, well, it isn't that.
43
00:01:49,126 --> 00:01:50,592
I think that every man likes
44
00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:53,128
a little variety
in his daily life,
don't you?
45
00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:56,164
Besides, it's easy
to become bored
with the same old face.
46
00:01:56,166 --> 00:01:57,766
You may be right.
47
00:01:57,768 --> 00:01:58,867
Come to think of it,
48
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,037
Abner hasn't been
his old self lately.
49
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:04,105
You sure one cup's
gonna be enough?
50
00:02:04,107 --> 00:02:06,408
He doesn't even kiss me
good night anymore.
51
00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:09,144
Last night
he just shook my hand.
52
00:02:09,146 --> 00:02:11,914
Well, some people
have different ways
53
00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:13,281
of showing affection.
54
00:02:13,283 --> 00:02:15,617
It wasn't even
a friendly handshake.
55
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,420
Excuse me.
56
00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:24,526
[♪♪♪]
57
00:03:09,707 --> 00:03:11,840
[PHONE RINGING]
58
00:03:11,842 --> 00:03:13,609
Hello?
Hi, honey.
59
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:16,812
Oh, hi, sweetheart.
Everything okay?
60
00:03:16,814 --> 00:03:17,946
Sure, why?
61
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,547
I thought
something had gone wrong,
62
00:03:19,549 --> 00:03:20,916
and you couldn't make it.
63
00:03:20,918 --> 00:03:23,384
Honey, I wouldn't let anything
interfere with tonight.
64
00:03:23,386 --> 00:03:24,786
I just wanted
to ask you to bring
65
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,454
that mystery story
I was reading.
66
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,590
Oh, I'll put it in
with the things I packed.
67
00:03:28,592 --> 00:03:31,093
And I'll meet you
in the hotel lobby at 6:00.
68
00:03:31,095 --> 00:03:33,895
At 6.
Bye, sweetheart.
69
00:03:33,897 --> 00:03:35,831
Bye.
70
00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:37,899
You going away someplace?
71
00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:40,969
Darrin and I are
spending the night
at the President Hotel.
72
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,871
We do that
once in a while.
What for?
73
00:03:42,873 --> 00:03:46,174
Well, to get away from
the drudgery of everyday life.
74
00:03:46,176 --> 00:03:48,243
We relax, have a nice
dinner in our room,
75
00:03:48,245 --> 00:03:49,845
get to know each other
all over again
76
00:03:49,847 --> 00:03:51,312
without having to worry about
77
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,781
phones that ring,
dishes to wash.
78
00:03:52,783 --> 00:03:53,782
You know how it is.
79
00:03:53,784 --> 00:03:56,685
Hm. I'm trying
to remember.
80
00:03:56,687 --> 00:03:59,721
You mean Mr. Stephens
goes for that romantic stuff?
81
00:03:59,723 --> 00:04:02,557
Well, I don't think he'd want
any of his friends to know,
82
00:04:02,559 --> 00:04:04,793
but just between you and me,
I think he enjoys it.
83
00:04:04,795 --> 00:04:07,328
I've got to hand it to you,
Mrs. Stephens.
84
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,998
You certainly know how
to keep the magic
in your marriage.
85
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,000
Well, I keep trying.
86
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,879
I thought we'd use
a distinctive motif
87
00:04:23,881 --> 00:04:25,080
in the campaign, Larry.
88
00:04:25,082 --> 00:04:26,614
I have a few sketches
in the office
89
00:04:26,616 --> 00:04:27,916
I'd like you to take a look at.
90
00:04:27,918 --> 00:04:29,551
And...
91
00:04:29,553 --> 00:04:30,618
Larry?
92
00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:32,287
Pretty girl.
Uh-huh.
93
00:04:32,289 --> 00:04:34,422
I have a couple
of ideas on
the subject.
94
00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:35,757
So have I.
95
00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:37,826
I was thinking of the campaign.
96
00:04:37,828 --> 00:04:38,994
Oh.
97
00:04:42,099 --> 00:04:44,833
All the letters for you to sign
are on your desk, Mr. Stephens.
98
00:04:44,835 --> 00:04:46,534
Thanks, Ellen.
99
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,503
Here, take a look
at these, Larry.
100
00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:49,971
See what you think.
101
00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:53,775
Larry?
102
00:04:53,777 --> 00:04:55,476
Larry, will you put
your eyeballs back
103
00:04:55,478 --> 00:04:57,179
and take a look at these?
104
00:04:57,181 --> 00:05:00,682
Look, just because
I'm married doesn't
mean I'm dead.
105
00:05:00,684 --> 00:05:02,317
It's very frustrating
106
00:05:02,319 --> 00:05:05,253
when I think of all
that charm and sex appeal
going to waste.
107
00:05:05,255 --> 00:05:06,254
Ellen's?
108
00:05:06,256 --> 00:05:08,423
No, mine.
109
00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:10,425
You talk a great game, Larry,
110
00:05:10,427 --> 00:05:12,393
but I think you're a sheep
in wolf's clothing.
111
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,129
Now will you please
take a look at these?
112
00:05:14,131 --> 00:05:16,098
Maybe we can go over 'em
on the train tonight.
113
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,900
No, I'm staying
in town tonight.
Yeah?
114
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,469
Look, I'm half-planning
on meeting Louise in town.
115
00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:24,072
Give Sam a call,
and the four of us
could make a night of it.
116
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,742
Uh, no, I'm afraid
we can't make it tonight.
117
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,343
I have something
to take care of.
118
00:05:28,345 --> 00:05:30,612
Well, there's nothing
pressing here, is there?
119
00:05:30,614 --> 00:05:31,880
No, it's a personal matter.
120
00:05:31,882 --> 00:05:33,381
Maybe some other time, huh?
121
00:05:33,383 --> 00:05:34,783
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
122
00:05:34,785 --> 00:05:36,218
Yes?
123
00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:37,352
Sure, put her on.
124
00:05:37,354 --> 00:05:38,720
It's for you. Louise.
125
00:05:41,725 --> 00:05:45,360
Hi, honey. Decided on
what you wanna do yet?
126
00:05:45,362 --> 00:05:47,262
Oh, I don't care.
What do you wanna do?
127
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,697
I don't know.
What do you wanna do?
128
00:05:49,699 --> 00:05:51,933
Oh, anything.
But you make up your mind.
129
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,368
I'll do anything you wanna do.
130
00:05:53,370 --> 00:05:56,171
Okay. Let's go
to a ball game.
131
00:05:56,173 --> 00:05:57,472
No, I don't wanna do that.
132
00:05:57,474 --> 00:05:59,040
Since I'm already in town,
133
00:05:59,042 --> 00:06:01,176
why don't I go to
the ball game on my own, hm?
134
00:06:01,178 --> 00:06:02,510
Well, okay.
135
00:06:02,512 --> 00:06:05,013
Maybe I'll give Samantha
a call and drop over there.
136
00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:08,049
You do that, and I'll
pick you up over there later.
137
00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:12,020
Want company for dinner?
138
00:06:12,022 --> 00:06:14,389
Sorry, Larry.
I have an appointment.
139
00:06:14,391 --> 00:06:15,423
Oh.
140
00:06:15,425 --> 00:06:17,959
Well... see you tomorrow.
141
00:06:18,662 --> 00:06:20,295
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
142
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,330
Yes?
143
00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:24,565
Mr. Stephens,
the President Hotel just called
144
00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:26,968
and confirmed
your reservations for tonight.
145
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,536
All right.
146
00:06:28,538 --> 00:06:30,505
Did you say
Darrin had reservations
147
00:06:30,507 --> 00:06:31,773
at the President Hotel?
148
00:06:31,775 --> 00:06:33,275
Yes, sir.
149
00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:37,012
Why, that son of a gun.
150
00:06:37,014 --> 00:06:38,046
I beg your pardon?
151
00:06:38,048 --> 00:06:39,447
That boy deserves an Oscar.
152
00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:40,882
He had me completely convinced.
153
00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:42,851
Who?
154
00:06:42,853 --> 00:06:44,319
Never mind.
155
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,857
That son of a gun.
156
00:07:14,885 --> 00:07:16,417
Got a light?
157
00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:17,819
Mm-hmm. Sure.
158
00:07:24,895 --> 00:07:28,263
My, you do have strong hands.
159
00:07:28,265 --> 00:07:31,366
I beg your pardon.
160
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,400
Sam!
161
00:07:32,402 --> 00:07:33,835
[GIGGLES]
162
00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,537
What have you done to yourself?
163
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,906
What do you think of the new me?
164
00:07:37,908 --> 00:07:39,741
Well, I don't know.
165
00:07:39,743 --> 00:07:43,544
I don't think the old model
is quite obsolete yet.
166
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,280
Thank you, darling.
167
00:07:45,282 --> 00:07:47,349
Bleachers?
That all you got?
168
00:07:47,351 --> 00:07:48,649
Afraid so,
Mr. Tate.
169
00:07:48,651 --> 00:07:50,551
But I'll freeze without a coat.
170
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,820
Yeah, but it should
be a great game.
171
00:07:52,822 --> 00:07:54,923
Ohhh.
Not worth pneumonia.
172
00:07:54,925 --> 00:07:57,092
I think I'll skip it.
173
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,365
[♪♪♪]
174
00:08:12,175 --> 00:08:15,043
That son of a gun.
175
00:08:19,783 --> 00:08:21,849
There. That better?
Much.
176
00:08:21,851 --> 00:08:23,151
What did you do with the wig?
177
00:08:23,153 --> 00:08:25,320
Oh, easy come, easy go.
178
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,822
How could I ever possibly
179
00:08:27,824 --> 00:08:29,584
become interested
in anyone else?
180
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,228
What brought that on?
181
00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:35,230
Well, never mind.
182
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,334
Sam, can I ask you
a hypothetical question?
183
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,037
Yes, I'd know.
184
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,139
What?
185
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,875
If you became interested
in another woman.
186
00:08:47,877 --> 00:08:49,811
You really have
that sort of power?
187
00:08:49,813 --> 00:08:54,049
That's for me to know, and you
better not try and find out.
188
00:08:54,918 --> 00:08:56,484
You wanna watch some TV?
189
00:08:56,486 --> 00:08:58,286
No, I thought I'd finish
190
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,887
that mystery story
I was reading.
191
00:08:59,889 --> 00:09:01,589
I only have
three chapters
left to go.
192
00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:03,191
Where is it, honey?
193
00:09:03,193 --> 00:09:04,926
I knew I'd forgotten something.
194
00:09:04,928 --> 00:09:07,362
Oh, Sam, I specifically
asked you to bring it.
195
00:09:07,364 --> 00:09:09,630
Well, there's no problem.
I'll pop home and get it.
196
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,865
It'll only take a minute.
197
00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:12,200
Never mind.
198
00:09:12,202 --> 00:09:14,769
You wanna know who
the murderer is, don't you?
199
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:15,770
Well...
200
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:18,173
Only be a second.
201
00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:24,446
Sometimes I think
I'm married to Peter Pan.
202
00:09:32,622 --> 00:09:34,155
[DOORBELL RINGS]
203
00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:44,165
Oh! Uh, Larry,
what are you doing here?
204
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,666
Well, isn't Louise here?
205
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:46,701
No, she isn't.
206
00:09:46,703 --> 00:09:48,403
Well, that's funny.
207
00:09:48,405 --> 00:09:51,106
I guess she decided
to stay home after all.
208
00:09:51,108 --> 00:09:53,941
Well, I'm sorry, Sam.
I guess I disturbed you.
209
00:09:53,943 --> 00:09:56,544
Oh, I wasn't going to bed.
210
00:09:56,546 --> 00:09:57,745
As a matter of fact,
211
00:09:57,747 --> 00:09:59,580
I was just gonna
get dressed and go out.
212
00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:01,216
At this time of night?
213
00:10:01,218 --> 00:10:02,950
Yes, I thought
I'd surprise Darrin.
214
00:10:02,952 --> 00:10:04,285
Oh.
215
00:10:04,287 --> 00:10:06,121
He's working late at the office.
216
00:10:06,123 --> 00:10:08,563
I thought I'd pick him up, and
we could get something to eat.
217
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,960
Can I offer you
some coffee or something?
218
00:10:12,962 --> 00:10:14,929
No. No, thanks, Sam.
I...
219
00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:16,597
I have some business
to attend to.
220
00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:18,866
Bye.
Good night.
221
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,273
GLADYS:
Abner!
222
00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:26,874
Uh-huh?
223
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,577
I've got a surprise!
224
00:10:29,579 --> 00:10:31,346
Mm-hmm.
225
00:10:31,348 --> 00:10:34,282
[♪♪♪]
226
00:10:34,284 --> 00:10:35,917
Hi there.
227
00:10:35,919 --> 00:10:37,185
Hi.
228
00:10:39,322 --> 00:10:42,257
You've had your nose
stuck in that book all day.
229
00:10:42,259 --> 00:10:44,292
I wanna see how it turns out.
230
00:10:44,294 --> 00:10:46,594
It's about the Civil War!
231
00:10:46,596 --> 00:10:48,896
The North won!
232
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,998
Let me find out for myself, huh?
233
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,500
Abner?
234
00:10:52,502 --> 00:10:53,901
What is it, Gladys?
235
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,237
I want you to look at me.
236
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,276
So? I'm looking.
237
00:11:02,345 --> 00:11:04,179
But you're not seeing me.
238
00:11:04,181 --> 00:11:06,281
You haven't really
looked at me in years.
239
00:11:06,283 --> 00:11:08,849
I don't have to. I already
committed you to memory.
240
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,721
Abner, don't you notice
something different?
241
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:17,992
Oh, you bought new shoes?
242
00:11:18,695 --> 00:11:20,128
[GROWLS]
243
00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:21,862
[GRUNTING]
244
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,933
[♪♪♪]
245
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,275
Did you find out who done it?
246
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,611
Mm-hm. Wouldn't have
been able to sleep
if I hadn't.
247
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,612
[BOTH LAUGH]
248
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,779
[KNOCKING]
249
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:40,215
What's a seven-letter word...?
250
00:11:40,217 --> 00:11:42,617
LARRY:
Darrin, open up.
It's Larry.
251
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:43,618
How did he know...?
252
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,986
Oops.
253
00:11:44,988 --> 00:11:46,721
I'd better make myself scarce.
254
00:11:48,391 --> 00:11:50,024
Sam.
255
00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:52,360
Honey, you don't
have to hide. W...
256
00:11:52,362 --> 00:11:53,361
Sa...
257
00:11:53,363 --> 00:11:54,862
[KNOCKING
CONTINUES]
258
00:11:54,864 --> 00:11:56,498
[SIGHS]
259
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,735
[LAUGHS]
260
00:12:00,737 --> 00:12:02,069
You son of a gun.
261
00:12:02,071 --> 00:12:03,070
What?
262
00:12:03,072 --> 00:12:04,172
I should've known.
263
00:12:04,174 --> 00:12:06,407
The quiet ones
are always the worst.
264
00:12:06,409 --> 00:12:09,110
Have you been drinking, Larry?
Oh, come on, Darrin.
265
00:12:09,112 --> 00:12:10,911
I saw the brunette downstairs.
266
00:12:10,913 --> 00:12:12,813
Brunette?
267
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,949
Oh, that brunette.
268
00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:16,884
[BOTH LAUGHING]
269
00:12:17,687 --> 00:12:19,354
That was Samantha.
270
00:12:19,356 --> 00:12:21,656
Boy, you never give up, do you?
271
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,691
I'm telling you,
that was Samantha.
272
00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:26,628
Oh, come on, Darrin.
I saw her with my own eyes.
273
00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:28,396
Now, you come on, Larry.
274
00:12:28,398 --> 00:12:30,398
Samantha?
Samantha?
275
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,800
Come on out. Appear before me.
Darrin, this is silly.
276
00:12:32,802 --> 00:12:34,001
Let's go, Sam.
Come on.
277
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,637
You don't have to
put on an act for me.
278
00:12:35,639 --> 00:12:36,971
Let's go, Sam.
279
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:40,007
Darrin, I was just
at your house
talking to Sam.
280
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,108
I don't care if you...
281
00:12:41,110 --> 00:12:43,144
You were what?
282
00:12:43,146 --> 00:12:46,381
Twenty minutes ago. I drove
here like a maniac.
But...
283
00:12:46,383 --> 00:12:48,749
You gonna tell me this Sam
can be in two places
284
00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:49,917
at the same time?
285
00:12:49,919 --> 00:12:52,953
No, I'm not gonna tell you that.
286
00:12:53,723 --> 00:12:55,323
You son of a gun.
287
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,094
Well... you got me, Larry.
288
00:13:00,096 --> 00:13:01,296
[BOTH LAUGH]
289
00:13:01,298 --> 00:13:02,763
Yeah, you're right.
290
00:13:02,765 --> 00:13:05,366
Nobody's perfect, right?
Right.
291
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:08,603
I hate to be inhospitable,
but, you know...
292
00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:09,637
Sure.
293
00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:11,038
Oh.
294
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,607
Wait, I better tell
you why I'm here.
295
00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:13,608
Why?
296
00:13:13,610 --> 00:13:14,942
Sam's on her way to the office.
297
00:13:14,944 --> 00:13:17,745
So if I were you,
I'd get on over there, boy.
298
00:13:17,747 --> 00:13:19,614
Oh, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
299
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,151
You son of a gun.
300
00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:28,089
Oh, great.
301
00:13:28,091 --> 00:13:31,426
Samantha? Samantha!
302
00:13:31,428 --> 00:13:33,661
I'm not sure
I like his attitude.
303
00:13:33,663 --> 00:13:35,763
It's entirely
too... French.
304
00:13:35,765 --> 00:13:37,599
Why didn't you tell me
you saw Larry?
305
00:13:37,601 --> 00:13:39,100
You never asked.
306
00:13:39,102 --> 00:13:41,168
The doorbell rang,
so I answered it.
307
00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:42,303
Did you have to answer it?
308
00:13:42,305 --> 00:13:44,439
How could I possibly
know it was Larry?
309
00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:46,574
I thought you were
pretty good at that thing.
310
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:47,875
You needn't get huffy.
311
00:13:47,877 --> 00:13:48,876
What am I gonna tell him?
312
00:13:48,878 --> 00:13:50,245
If I tell him the truth,
313
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:52,980
he's liable to suspect
that you're a, you know.
314
00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:54,282
Go ahead, Darrin.
315
00:13:54,284 --> 00:13:56,751
You can say it. You're
among friends. "Witch."
316
00:13:57,987 --> 00:14:01,021
Samantha, Larry's
eaten up with curiosity.
317
00:14:01,023 --> 00:14:02,990
He's not going to stop
until he finds out
318
00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:04,492
who the other woman is.
319
00:14:04,494 --> 00:14:07,428
Darling, you've done
nothing to be ashamed of.
320
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,398
There's nothing wrong with
being interested in two women...
321
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,499
[SILENTLY]
What?
322
00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:13,668
As long as they're
both your wife.
323
00:14:20,543 --> 00:14:21,942
LOUISE:
Oh, I meant
to tell you.
324
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,178
The other night,
instead of going
to Samantha's,
325
00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:26,213
I went with Mabel
to the high school play.
326
00:14:26,215 --> 00:14:28,015
Her son was very good.
327
00:14:28,017 --> 00:14:29,484
Mmm?
328
00:14:29,486 --> 00:14:31,352
Larry, are you listening to me?
329
00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:32,353
Sure I am.
330
00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:34,221
Anyway, on the way home,
331
00:14:34,223 --> 00:14:36,257
we were attacked
by two masked bandits,
332
00:14:36,259 --> 00:14:38,726
knocked unconscious
and shipped to the casbah.
333
00:14:38,728 --> 00:14:40,395
Glad you had a nice time, dear.
334
00:14:40,397 --> 00:14:43,364
Don't you think it's a little
undignified for a man your age
335
00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:45,966
to have a lifetime subscription
to a magazine like that?
336
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,102
It has some
very interesting articles.
337
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,004
Sure, and they all fold out.
338
00:14:50,006 --> 00:14:52,674
I meant, it has
intellectual content.
339
00:14:52,676 --> 00:14:54,375
You mean the girls wear glasses?
340
00:14:54,377 --> 00:14:57,312
Louise, every man likes
to look at pretty girls.
341
00:14:57,314 --> 00:15:00,481
It's a normal, healthy
American pastime.
342
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,317
Something you wives
don't understand.
343
00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:06,354
Because it's not true.
Some men grow up.
344
00:15:06,356 --> 00:15:08,189
Name one.
345
00:15:08,191 --> 00:15:09,590
Well...
346
00:15:09,592 --> 00:15:10,825
Darrin, for one.
347
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,361
I bet he doesn't ogle girls.
348
00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:16,664
Well... Darrin's not as
perfect as you think.
349
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,833
You mean he buys
magazines like that?
350
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,100
He doesn't have to.
351
00:15:20,102 --> 00:15:21,902
Because he's married
to Samantha?
352
00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:23,471
I mean...
353
00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:27,375
Of course, that's what I meant.
354
00:15:27,377 --> 00:15:30,478
No, you didn't.
What are you trying to hide?
355
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,447
Why do you think
I'm trying to hide something?
356
00:15:32,449 --> 00:15:35,049
Your skull is
moving back and forth.
357
00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:37,284
It always does that
when you're hiding something.
358
00:15:37,286 --> 00:15:40,054
Louise, you can
question me all night,
359
00:15:40,056 --> 00:15:42,089
and you'll never
find out a thing.
360
00:15:42,091 --> 00:15:43,257
Darrin?
361
00:15:44,594 --> 00:15:46,260
Now can I go to sleep?
362
00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:48,229
You actually saw this brunette?
363
00:15:48,231 --> 00:15:51,733
Louise, if you breathe a word
of this to anyone, I'll...
364
00:15:51,735 --> 00:15:53,568
I'll cut off
your charge accounts.
365
00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:55,470
Poor Samantha.
366
00:15:55,472 --> 00:15:57,538
Especially to Samantha.
367
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,708
Now repeat after me:
368
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,111
I promise I will not
mention this to Samantha.
369
00:16:04,113 --> 00:16:05,480
Oh, Larry.
370
00:16:05,482 --> 00:16:08,282
Say it.
Oh, okay.
371
00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:11,486
I promise I will not
mention this to Samantha.
372
00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:13,855
[GROANS]
373
00:16:15,492 --> 00:16:16,824
Hello, Samantha?
374
00:16:16,826 --> 00:16:18,726
Yes, this is Samantha.
375
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,762
May I speak to Darrin, please?
376
00:16:20,764 --> 00:16:22,162
Is that you, Louise?
377
00:16:22,164 --> 00:16:25,065
How are you, dear?
How have you been feeling?
378
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,434
Oh, just fine.
379
00:16:26,436 --> 00:16:29,570
Well, I just want you
to know you're not alone.
380
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,939
You always have friends
if you need them.
381
00:16:31,941 --> 00:16:35,576
Well, thank you, Louise.
I'll get Darrin.
382
00:16:37,013 --> 00:16:38,880
I think she knows.
383
00:16:38,882 --> 00:16:40,114
Did she say so?
384
00:16:40,116 --> 00:16:42,650
No, but she's treating me
as if you just died.
385
00:16:42,652 --> 00:16:45,152
I don't see how
she could know.
Hello, Louise.
386
00:16:45,154 --> 00:16:46,921
Good morning, bluebeard.
387
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,589
She knows.
388
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:51,292
I realize you can't talk,
so just listen.
389
00:16:51,294 --> 00:16:53,494
Meet me in the lobby
of the President Hotel
390
00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:55,596
this afternoon at 3:00.
391
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,799
And promise not to tell Larry.
392
00:16:57,801 --> 00:17:01,201
I want to talk some sense
into you. Goodbye.
393
00:17:01,203 --> 00:17:02,303
Okay...
394
00:17:03,706 --> 00:17:05,272
What'd she say?
395
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,341
She's determined
to save our marriage.
396
00:17:07,343 --> 00:17:08,843
I don't like this, Samantha.
397
00:17:08,845 --> 00:17:10,044
Well, neither do I.
398
00:17:10,046 --> 00:17:12,146
I guess there's only
one thing you can do.
399
00:17:12,148 --> 00:17:13,681
Tell her you're a witch?
400
00:17:13,683 --> 00:17:14,882
No.
401
00:17:14,884 --> 00:17:16,250
Listen to her, look guilty
402
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:17,552
and promise to give her up.
403
00:17:17,554 --> 00:17:18,553
Her?
404
00:17:18,555 --> 00:17:19,987
The other woman.
405
00:17:19,989 --> 00:17:22,423
Obviously, one of me
has got to go.
406
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,493
[FLUTE PLAYING LIVELY MELODY]
407
00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:31,499
Abner, I'm home.
408
00:17:34,337 --> 00:17:36,170
Well, don't you have
anything to say?
409
00:17:36,172 --> 00:17:38,305
Did you remember
to get my corn plasters?
410
00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:41,742
Put that flute down.
411
00:17:41,744 --> 00:17:43,845
I wanna talk to you.
412
00:17:43,847 --> 00:17:46,246
Abner, don't you ever
think of romance anymore?
413
00:17:46,248 --> 00:17:49,249
Gladys, please.
I'm retired.
414
00:17:49,251 --> 00:17:51,385
We've got to face facts.
415
00:17:51,387 --> 00:17:52,553
Now, over the years
416
00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:54,421
we've come to take
each other for granted.
417
00:17:54,423 --> 00:17:56,390
Well, I think we should
do something about it.
418
00:17:56,392 --> 00:17:58,359
Now, what have you got in mind?
419
00:17:58,361 --> 00:18:01,195
I've made a reservation
at a hotel downtown.
420
00:18:01,197 --> 00:18:02,864
We'll spend the weekend there,
421
00:18:02,866 --> 00:18:05,165
away from the drudgery
of everyday living.
422
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:08,268
We'll relax and
really get to know
each other again.
423
00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:10,270
How about it, Abner?
424
00:18:10,272 --> 00:18:11,639
I don't know, Gladys.
425
00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:13,708
It seems like a lot of
trouble to save a marriage.
426
00:18:13,710 --> 00:18:15,910
Besides, I know
you well enough already.
427
00:18:15,912 --> 00:18:19,346
Oh, no, you don't.
Look at me carefully.
428
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,148
There's something
different about me.
429
00:18:21,150 --> 00:18:22,190
Now, what is it Abner?
430
00:18:26,288 --> 00:18:28,122
Is it animal, vegetable
or mineral?
431
00:18:28,124 --> 00:18:29,891
Ooh!
432
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:36,764
Darrin in his office?
433
00:18:36,766 --> 00:18:39,500
No, he left
the building
about 10 minutes ago.
434
00:18:39,502 --> 00:18:41,569
Three in the afternoon?
435
00:18:41,571 --> 00:18:43,971
Did he say where he's going,
or when he'd be back?
436
00:18:43,973 --> 00:18:44,972
No, he didn't.
437
00:18:44,974 --> 00:18:46,807
Well, I've got to
get hold of him.
438
00:18:46,809 --> 00:18:48,709
Look, get Mrs. Stephens
on the phone.
439
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:49,844
I'll take it here.
440
00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,116
[PHONE RINGING]
441
00:18:56,118 --> 00:18:57,284
Hello?
442
00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:58,819
Uh, Sam, this is Larry.
443
00:18:58,821 --> 00:19:00,788
Do you, by any chance,
know where Darrin is?
444
00:19:00,790 --> 00:19:02,423
Why? Is something wrong?
445
00:19:02,425 --> 00:19:04,992
Well, we had a meeting
scheduled for tomorrow morning.
446
00:19:04,994 --> 00:19:06,393
I just heard from the client,
447
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,596
and he has to leave
for the West Coast tonight.
448
00:19:08,598 --> 00:19:11,331
He wanted the meeting pushed up
to 4 this afternoon.
449
00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:13,167
Unfortunately,
I can't find Darrin.
450
00:19:13,169 --> 00:19:14,902
Well, you might try paging him
451
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,771
in the lobby of
the President Hotel.
452
00:19:16,773 --> 00:19:18,505
The President Hotel?
453
00:19:18,507 --> 00:19:20,975
Yes, he's meeting someone there.
454
00:19:20,977 --> 00:19:22,109
Thanks, Sam.
455
00:19:22,111 --> 00:19:24,178
You're welcome, Larry. Bye.
456
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,783
I know that young people
have trouble
457
00:19:28,785 --> 00:19:29,884
adjusting to each other
458
00:19:29,886 --> 00:19:31,552
in their first year
of marriage, but...
459
00:19:31,554 --> 00:19:32,920
You're right, Louise.
460
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,489
And I promise to give her up.
It was just one of those things.
461
00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:36,958
I'd better get back
to the office.
462
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,560
Sit down. I'm not
through with you yet.
463
00:19:48,671 --> 00:19:49,904
[♪♪♪]
464
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,815
Now, you know,
I wouldn't
be here, Darrin,
465
00:20:00,817 --> 00:20:03,150
if I weren't very fond of you.
466
00:20:03,152 --> 00:20:05,620
I realize that, Louise.
467
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:12,627
[GASPS]
Louise.
468
00:20:17,867 --> 00:20:18,933
Abner?
469
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:21,869
What did you do to your head?
470
00:20:21,871 --> 00:20:23,170
You noticed.
471
00:20:23,172 --> 00:20:24,538
Well, who wouldn't?
472
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:27,108
It looks like
you just stuck your finger
in a light socket.
473
00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:28,208
Well, You didn't before.
474
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:29,576
Before what?
475
00:20:29,578 --> 00:20:31,912
When I wore
the platinum wig
and the blond wig.
476
00:20:31,914 --> 00:20:34,481
Well, I couldn't notice that.
I'm color-blind.
477
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,716
Color-blind?
478
00:20:35,718 --> 00:20:36,751
You knew that.
479
00:20:36,753 --> 00:20:38,853
That's wonderful.
480
00:20:38,855 --> 00:20:40,087
I thought you didn't care,
481
00:20:40,089 --> 00:20:43,057
but you were only color-blind.
482
00:20:43,059 --> 00:20:44,992
I'll get your medicine, Gladys.
483
00:20:46,029 --> 00:20:47,194
[LAUGHS]
484
00:20:50,767 --> 00:20:51,799
Oh, hi, Larry.
485
00:20:51,801 --> 00:20:54,068
You philanderer, you.
What?
486
00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:57,038
Oh, no wonder
you wouldn't tell me
what the girl's name was.
487
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,339
Why...
No, no, don't try
to lie about it.
488
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:00,975
All the pieces
have fallen into place
489
00:21:00,977 --> 00:21:02,442
to make a horrible picture.
490
00:21:02,444 --> 00:21:04,879
Larry, you're supposed to
be liberal-minded
491
00:21:04,881 --> 00:21:06,801
about this sort of thing, right?
492
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:11,919
You go near Louise again,
and you're fired.
493
00:21:22,165 --> 00:21:24,231
What is this?
An old witch's cure?
494
00:21:24,233 --> 00:21:27,802
Nope, a young
witch's cure,
called beefsteak.
495
00:21:27,804 --> 00:21:29,770
I'm worried about
this whole plan.
496
00:21:29,772 --> 00:21:31,038
We've got to do something
497
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,307
to patch up
your friendship
with Larry.
498
00:21:33,309 --> 00:21:35,076
Also, I can't let
something I did
499
00:21:35,078 --> 00:21:37,244
come between Larry and Louise.
500
00:21:37,246 --> 00:21:38,713
Can't we just tell him our story
501
00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:40,915
instead of staging
this ridiculous scene?
502
00:21:40,917 --> 00:21:41,916
Certainly.
503
00:21:41,918 --> 00:21:42,983
All you have to do is say,
504
00:21:42,985 --> 00:21:44,651
"Larry, my wife is a w..."
505
00:21:44,653 --> 00:21:46,120
Forget it.
506
00:21:46,122 --> 00:21:47,221
Where's Larry now?
507
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,190
In his office.
508
00:21:49,192 --> 00:21:50,457
Mm-hmm.
509
00:21:50,459 --> 00:21:52,126
Louise should be here
any minute.
510
00:21:52,128 --> 00:21:53,160
Good.
511
00:21:53,162 --> 00:21:55,096
[DOOR OPENS]
512
00:21:55,832 --> 00:21:57,664
Hi, honey.
513
00:22:03,773 --> 00:22:05,139
Ho-ho!
514
00:22:05,141 --> 00:22:06,140
I love the way your face
515
00:22:06,142 --> 00:22:07,674
lights up when I enter a room.
516
00:22:07,676 --> 00:22:09,176
What do you expect?
517
00:22:09,178 --> 00:22:11,011
What's the matter, Larry?
518
00:22:11,013 --> 00:22:13,180
You look like you just
lost your best friend.
519
00:22:13,182 --> 00:22:15,415
Huh. Who cares about that?
520
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,618
Are you coming down
with something?
521
00:22:17,620 --> 00:22:18,919
Maybe you need a shot.
522
00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:21,321
That's the best idea
I've heard all day.
523
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:25,760
Larry, you wanna tell me
what's bothering you?
524
00:22:28,131 --> 00:22:29,596
Louise...
525
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,766
where were
you today?
[GASPS]
526
00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:33,200
Oh. You found out, huh?
527
00:22:33,202 --> 00:22:35,035
Yes, I found out.
528
00:22:35,037 --> 00:22:36,971
Oh, darn.
529
00:22:36,973 --> 00:22:39,940
I specifically told Darrin
not to mention it to you.
530
00:22:41,543 --> 00:22:43,177
Is that all you've got to say?
531
00:22:43,179 --> 00:22:45,612
Well, it is
rather disappointing.
532
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:47,347
I mean, who can you
trust these days?
533
00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:50,617
Oh, Louise.
534
00:22:52,989 --> 00:22:53,988
[GROANS]
535
00:22:53,990 --> 00:22:55,422
[WOMAN GIGGLING]
536
00:22:57,493 --> 00:22:58,592
What's that?
537
00:22:59,929 --> 00:23:01,395
I don't know.
538
00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:12,039
Darrin, you promised.
539
00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:13,040
Promised what?
540
00:23:13,042 --> 00:23:14,408
Hello there.
541
00:23:14,410 --> 00:23:15,709
Hi.
542
00:23:15,711 --> 00:23:18,712
I don't even wanna talk
to you, you... You...
543
00:23:18,714 --> 00:23:20,214
You...
544
00:23:22,584 --> 00:23:23,918
Samantha?
545
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,154
Who else would be
kissing Darrin?
546
00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:29,656
Darrin, what happened
to your eye?
547
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:32,426
Yes, er, what happened
to your eye, Darrin?
548
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,195
Larry hit me.
549
00:23:34,197 --> 00:23:35,395
Who?
You.
550
00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:41,735
He thought you
were the other woman
in the hotel room.
551
00:23:41,737 --> 00:23:44,071
He thought what?
552
00:23:44,073 --> 00:23:46,506
[LAUGHS]
Oh, darling.
553
00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:48,508
You've just made my day.
554
00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:51,445
I told you I went to
the high school play
with Mabel.
555
00:23:51,447 --> 00:23:53,680
But, as usual,
you weren't listening.
556
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:55,082
I still have the program.
557
00:23:55,084 --> 00:23:56,717
I believe you.
558
00:23:56,719 --> 00:23:59,519
Louise met Darrin in
the hotel this afternoon
559
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:02,289
because she believed what
you told her the other night.
560
00:24:02,291 --> 00:24:04,624
She thought
she'd be able to help.
561
00:24:04,626 --> 00:24:06,126
But you promised me you wouldn't
562
00:24:06,128 --> 00:24:07,594
say anything to Samantha.
563
00:24:07,596 --> 00:24:09,629
Now look at the mess
you've cau...
564
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,766
Oh, forget it.
565
00:24:12,768 --> 00:24:13,934
SAMANTHA:
I have an idea.
566
00:24:13,936 --> 00:24:15,135
Good.
567
00:24:15,137 --> 00:24:17,471
Why don't we all go out
somewhere and celebrate?
568
00:24:17,473 --> 00:24:18,739
I'll buy that.
569
00:24:18,741 --> 00:24:20,875
You must let me try
your wig on sometime later.
570
00:24:20,877 --> 00:24:22,276
I don't think it'll fit, Louise.
571
00:24:22,278 --> 00:24:23,643
It was custom-made for my head.
572
00:24:23,645 --> 00:24:24,644
Darrin...
573
00:24:24,646 --> 00:24:25,645
just a moment.
574
00:24:25,647 --> 00:24:26,646
Ha...?
575
00:24:26,648 --> 00:24:28,782
How did Samantha
get from your house
576
00:24:28,784 --> 00:24:31,352
to the hotel in less
than 20 minutes?
577
00:24:31,354 --> 00:24:33,087
She, um...
578
00:24:33,089 --> 00:24:35,455
She's a witch!
579
00:24:35,457 --> 00:24:37,224
[CHUCKLES]
580
00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:38,993
You son of a gun.
581
00:24:46,202 --> 00:24:48,903
[♪♪♪]
39936
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