Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

SAMANTHA: Try switching them around.

Uh-huh.

Huh.

Little further to the left now.

Sam, I've gotta go to work.

Of all the time to hang pictures!

It'll only take a minute.

We've been putting it off. We have to get it done sometime.

Move the left one. Up.

Up. Up.

Up, Darrin. Up, up, Darrin!

Do I get a biscuit?

That looks terrible.

Nothing works.

I do, and I have to be there at 9:00.

But when are we gonna do this?

When I get home. That's what you always say.

I'm tired of looking at a blank wall.

Don't worry. You'll think of something. Oh, sure.

There's always one thing we can do. What?

Move.

I'll see you tonight.

Good morning, Mrs. Kravitz.

Is Mrs. Stephens at home? I'd like to return this.

Yes, she's inside arranging some pictures. Maybe you can help her.

Oh, I'd be glad to. I'm very good at that.

I'm glad somebody is.

See you later.

[SHRIEKS]

[♪♪♪]

[MOANING]

You moved the pictures!

Now, Mrs. Kravitz...

This time I saw you do it.

I saw it. I caught you red-handed.

I was just hanging pictures.

From ten feet away?

All along I said there were crazy things going on in this house.

People appearing and disappearing

and furniture moving around.

It must be your imagination.

I have no imagination.

I'm telling you, Mrs. Kravitz,

there's nothing going on.

I say that there is and so does Mrs. Grumbacher.

Mrs. Grumbacher?

Yes.

I told her all about you and she believes me.

She's got a theory.

She does?

Yes. And now I happen to believe her.

Y-you do?

We don't think you're one of us.

You don't?

You're from Venus, aren't you?

Venus? Don't touch me!

Mrs. Kravitz, this has gone far enough.

There is absolutely no truth in what you're saying.

You know Mrs. Grumbacher is the biggest gossip

in the neighborhood.

How can you believe such nonsense?

Venus! Hmph!

All right, all right. Maybe you're not from Venus.

But I saw what you did with my own eyes.

Hmph.

And whatever or whoever you are, we'll find out.

What do you mean?

Mrs. Grumbacher has a friend at the university.

He knows about these supernatural things.

We'll see what he thinks.

Mrs. Kravitz!

[GASPS] Wait!

I've got something to tell you.

It is Venus, isn't it?

Remember, we want peace. We're a peaceloving world.

Now, we've had problems...

Will you please listen to me?

Uh, what you just saw,

well, maybe those pictures did move by themselves.

She's unlocking the secrets of the universe.

You probably won't believe this.

Oh!

Of all the ears in the world,

mine have been chosen to hear the secrets of life.

Talk, talk, talk.

If those pictures did move,

did it ever occur to you

that you might've moved them?

Me?

Every time these strange things supposedly happen,

and you insist they do,

you've been watching, right? Yeah, yeah.

Maybe you were doing more than just watching.

What are you talking about?

Maybe you were doing those things.

I'm not sure,

but it might have something to do with extrasensory perception.

Huh?

They've been doing a lot of studying about E.S.P.

People moving objects, predicting the future.

Ohh!

Oh.

Mrs. Kravitz,

I think you've got it.

When I was hanging those pictures,

you were thinking about them, right?

Yes, yes.

Mind over matter!

Thought waves can work wonders,

especially from an intelligent, fertile mind like yours.

Oh, you...

You mean I moved the pictures?

Oh, I couldn't have done that. I couldn't have.

Well, there's one way to prove if you've got the power.

How, how, how, how, how, how, how? Wait.

I saw it on a television show once.

Now, you close your eyes and concentrate.

And I'm going to write a number on this piece of paper.

Ooh!

Oh.

And then you tell me

what it is.

Thirty-seven?

I did it!

I did it!

I can't believe it.

All the time it was me.

Oh, I just can't believe it. What am I gonna do?

Wait until Mrs. Grumbacher hears about this.

Oh, I wouldn't discuss this with Mrs. Grumbacher,

or anyone else,

at least for a while.

[GASPING]

What's the matter?

It's Abner. He needs me.

Abner, Abner, I'm coming!

Uh, Mrs. Kravitz...!

Mrs...!

Abner, Abner! I'm here!

I felt that you want me! You want me!

Why would I want you?

Is everything all right? There's nothing wrong?

I'm fine.

Thank goodness.

You've been eating those radishes again?

Abner, a wonderful thing has happened.

Guess what I've got.

Heartburn.

Abner, I've got the power.

Take some lemon juice and hot water. That'll knock it out.

It's nothing to joke about.

All right.

Until you get over it, I'll sleep in the den.

Abner,

do the initials E.S.P. mean anything to you?

E.S.P.?

E.S.P.?

Oh, now I get all this funny business.

Esther Pearlman's coming, right?

Extrasensory perception. I've got it.

What? Mind over matter.

Predicting the future. Or talking to the spirits.

Who knows what I can do!

Where did you get this crazy idea?

I was over at the Stephens' house.

Now I know it's hard to believe, Abner,

but I moved all the pictures on their wall

and without even touching them.

You moved their pictures, huh?

Over here I'd be glad if you just dusted the pictures.

You don't believe me, do you?

When is this all gonna stop? When?

When am I gonna have peace?

The last time it was yoga. Before that it was karate.

Remember this...

to protect yourself at night from strangers?

To tell the truth, I wish you'd go out some night and meet a stranger!

All right, Mr. Smartypants. We'll see who's got E.S.P.

Now, you write down a number on a piece of paper,

and I'll tell you what it is.

Write down a number?

Gladys, I've got better things to do than play games.

What? You've retired.

Go ahead, any number. Gladys!

Write it!

I've got one life, and I have to live it with her.

Don't let me see it.

Ooh.

Ooh,

I see the number.

The number is seven.

Wrong. It's one. Go make lunch.

It's a seven. See that little thing there?

It's a one. That is a one!

You made a seven, and you don't even know it.

You're nuts, and you don't even know it.

I made a one. That's how I make a one.

It's seven! One.

Seven! One!

Seven!

Why won't you admit you were thinking of seven?

All right, it's a seven!

You see? I've got the power.

I can do anything.

You've got the power? You can do anything? Yes.

Good! Disappear.

[♪♪♪]

Hi, Mrs. Kravitz.

Hi, Mrs...

Kravitz?

Is something the matter, Mrs. Kravitz?

[CHANTING] Water.

Don't go near her. She's crazy.

She's trying to turn on the sprinklers. Give me the key.

You don't need the key! You're forgetting about my powers.

I can will the sprinklers on.

Sprinklers, on!

What's happening?

The lawn is dying, that's what's happening.

Three hundred dollars' worth of landscaping. Give me the key!

[WHISPERING] Uh, Mr. Kravitz.

GLADYS: Water...

Does she get like this often?

I've never seen her this bad.

She thinks she's got special powers:

Turning on the sprinklers, guessing numbers,

moving pictures.

Where'd she get an idea like that?

From your wife, I think.

Water!

Mrs. Kravitz.

Mrs. Kravitz, what did my wife tell you?

Everything.

If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't know the secrets of the universe.

She gave me the power.

I don't believe it.

Water.

Water!

[THUNDERCLAP]

I did it! I did it!

I've got the power! I did it!

ABNER: You did what?

That's from the sky, dumb-dumb!

Not the sprinklers!

It's close enough. I've got the power, Abner!

[GLADYS CACKLES]

Samantha!

Come in out of the rain!

[LAUGHING]

[CHANTING] Water!

What's the matter? What do you mean?

You see what's going on there?

[CACKLING]

She's acting like a maniac. What did you do to her?

Well...

Come on, Sam, do something. You've gotta stop her!

Don't worry, darling. It's not that serious.

Not that serious? Look at her! She thinks she's the rainmaker.

[THUNDERCLAP]

Did you talk to her? Yes.

She thinks she still has the power.

What's she doing out here?

She's trying to turn off the rain.

Trying to turn off the rain?

Abner insulted her.

He wouldn't believe she turned it on,

so she's going to show him and turn it off.

Rain, go away!

That woman...

She's standing there stiff as a board.

Go!

She looks like a lawn statue.

She promised me she was coming right in.

She's gonna get pneumonia.

Maybe I better turn it off.

Are you kidding? Gladys will think she did it.

Tomorrow she'll try for an eclipse.

You really did it this time, Sam!

SAMANTHA: It isn't all my fault.

If you would've helped me hang the pictures,

she wouldn't have caught me.

If you hadn't twitched your nose,

she wouldn't have caught you, either.

Oh! Oh, good!

Here comes Mr. Kravitz.

He's trying to drag her in.

Is he using a rope?

No, Mr. Henderson's got the rope.

They got her!

Sam, tomorrow morning you go over there and knock this crazy idea out of her head.

All right.

But it's not gonna be easy.

It just stopped raining.

[♪♪♪]

Stove, on.

Stove, on.

Stove, on.

Gladys...

Shh!

It's coming.

Stove, on.

Gladys, it is now 9:30.

We have been out here for two hours.

I want my breakfast.

[KNOBS CLICKING]

I command you to stand back.

Did I hear right?

Did I hear right?

If my ears are lying, I should cut their tongues out.

Back! I heard right.

I'm getting a doctor. I don't need a doctor.

All right, then I'm getting a cook.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Good morning. Good morning!

Good morning. Come on in

and have some breakfast.

If you like your pancakes rare, you're in luck.

Stove broken?

Her head is broken.

It's an experiment in psychokinetics.

Listen to the big reader.

Mind over matter to the layman.

Is it working?

Not yet. I'm not surprised.

I did some reading after we talked.

This power isn't the kind of thing you can control.

But the book said concentration is important.

If you still have the power. But I do, don't I?

I guess not. Lots of people have it for a little while.

Then it just disappears.

Even the scientists don't understand it.

Do they understand that a man has to eat?

When it's gone, it's gone.

And there's nothing you can do about it.

Now, the stove might be too much.

Maybe I should try smaller things.

Start on the toaster.

How about the rain yesterday?

I had the power then, didn't I?

Maybe. But the paper did say there was a chance of showers.

In fact, you could've read that and been subconsciously influenced.

Listen to the smart girl, Gladys.

Turn on the stove.

You mean, I might not have the power anymore?

That's right.

But it could come back. I doubt it.

Meanwhile, turn on the stove, please.

Go ahead, Gladys. Turn on the stove.

I never thought I'd beg to eat her cooking.

Oh! Here you are, sweetheart.

Thank you, honey.

Sure you don't want anything else?

No, this is fine.

I saw Mr. Kravitz turning on the sprinklers this morning.

Guess Gladys kicked the habit.

I had a little talk with her,

and I convinced her everything's gonna be just fine.

It's lucky for you that Mrs. Kravitz is forgetting this nonsense.

I hope you learned a lesson.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, Mr. Kravitz. Hello, Mrs. Stephens.

What is it?

She's doing it again. She's worse than ever.

Oh, no.

We're standing in the market and she starts yelling

a spirit is telling her we're in danger.

A spirit? ABNER: Of all days.

The whole neighborhood was at the market.

Mrs. Grumbacher calling her friends...

We'll be a tourist attraction.

She really thinks she talked to a spirit?

I can't stand it anymore. When is this all gonna end?

Tonight. We're gonna have a seance.

A seance?

Sam, that's ridiculous.

Now, please, Mr. Kravitz, this will cure her.

I know about these things.

Something might happen.

If it does, don't worry.

I've been to seances before and sometimes your mind plays tricks on you.

[PHONE RINGS]

Oh, excuse me.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Kravitz?

Well...

Yes. Yes, all right.

Calm down.

You better go home.

What is it?

She says she's getting vibrations.

ABNER: Vibrations?

She's chewing on the electric blanket again.

Now, what's all this business about a seance?

Don't you understand?

A seance will be the answer to all our problems.

Really? How?

I'm gonna scare the daylights out of her.

[SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYING]

I-I-I don't like this, Mrs. Stephens.

T-to tell you the truth, I'm s-s-scared.

It'll be all right.

We've been waiting 20 minutes.

Maybe you better go get her, Mr. Kravitz.

GLADYS: No need for that. I'm here, my son.

You look lovely tonight, my dear.

So good of you to come.

Are you ready to start, Mrs. Kravitz?

Yes, my child. Let us join hands.

First we must empty our minds.

Erase everything.

Our minds must be clear.

Think of nothing.

[HUMMING]

I feel a presence in the room.

Someone in the room.

If you are here, make your presence known.

[KNOCKING]

It's here.

T-t-there's nothing here.

[KNOCKING]

There must be somebody at the front door.

Come in!

It must be windy out.

Mr. Kravitz, you're hurting my hand.

Maybe you better stop, Mrs. Kravitz.

Oh, not now.

We must all keep concentrating.

[GLASS BREAKING]

[GLADYS SHRIEKING]

Mr. Kravitz, my hand!

Appear before me, great spirit.

Appear before me.

I'm-I'm begging you, Gladys. Stop.

He's right, Mrs. Kravitz. Maybe you better stop.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm in control.

I'm in control. Have no fear.

Appear, great spirit.

[MOUTHS]

I'm not looking. I'm not listening.

I'm closing the eyes, I'm covering the ears.

I see nothing. It's a dream.

Appear, I say!

Appear!

[CHUCKLING EERILY]

Mrs. Kravitz, look what you've done.

You better stop before it's too late.

[WICKED LAUGHTER]

[GASPS]

Oh, hi, Uncle Harold!

Abner, it's Uncle Harold. Say hello.

SPIRIT: You should not have disturbed me! I am angry!

You're angry?

Some nerve. He didn't even give us a wedding present.

Meddling in the unknown.

Heed my warning. Stop.

He's right. Stop. Who said that?

[LAUGHING]

That's enough, Gladys.

Turn on the light.

Quiet!

Turn on the light!

I'm ending this whole thing!

Oh, dry up!

Mrs. Kravitz,

what have you done?

I don't know. I just told him to dry...

[GASPS]

You did do that, didn't you?

Oh, Abner, forgive me!

Oh, please come back!

Oh! I started all this.

What can I do?

Whatever you do, don't sneeze.

If you swear off this magic forever, you may get him back.

Oh, I promise I'll never do it again.

Oh, Abner, I love you. Come back!

I swear I'll never do it again.

Oh, I swear, I swear.

[GLADYS SHRIEKS]

Gladys? What happened to Gladys?

Well, she fainted.

But she'll be all right now.

That's right, Mr. Kravitz.

I'm sure you'll never have to worry about Gladys again.

I'm going to get some water.

DARRIN: It's a good idea.

That'll bring her around.

Not for her, for me.

I feel like I'm all dried up.

You all ready, sweetheart?

SAMANTHA: Be ready in a minute, sweetheart.

I'll get the car.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hello. Good evening.

We just stopped by to return this.

Thanks very much.

Oh, the chicken was delicious.

I'm getting to be a marvelous cook.

Good for you.

I say you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

Stop. We've had enough with the mind, Gladys.

Yes, I'm sure everyone is glad

that other business is over with.

I never want to go through another seance again.

Don't worry. You won't have to. I'm all through with that.

Good. I'm taking Gladys to the Tivoli tonight.

There's a good double bill.

That's nice.

It's more than nice.

It's strange. It's remarkable.

He didn't say a word about it till now

and I was thinking the same thing.

Good night, Gladys. Good night, folks.

Abner, wait, wait!

I have an idea.

Maybe we shouldn't go out tonight.

I can whip up something here.

Great Scott! It's uncanny!

What?

I was thinking the exact same thing.

Sam, do you think I have the power?

Yes.

But not that kind.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]