Original subtitles

MAN: Automatic doors by Magi-Door Company

is the only automatic door manufactured

that can be opened as far as a mile away.

And as you approach your garage,

you merely press the button in your car

like so...

And presto! The garage door is open.

Presto! The garage door is closed.

How do you like that for magic?

Not bad.

I have some brochures here

that explain everything.

Would you like to take one

home with you?

[SIGHS]

Abner, Samantha Stephens. Hmm. Right there.

[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]

I'll see you at the car, Abner.

[CRASH]

Are you all right? I think so.

Didn't you read the sign?

This door is out of order!

Not for Samantha Stephens, it isn't.

How is that, Abner? Tell me.

Please explain it to me!

I'll explain it to you. You're out of order.

Hmph. Hmph.

[♪♪♪]

Abner, did you see that?

Now, that's what I call magic.

She opened the garage door!

So, what do you want me to do? Applaud?

No, no! She opened it.

No hands, nothing.

She just sat there.

Oh, why don't you stop.

They've probably got an electric door

like they demonstrated down at the market.

I don't believe it.

She opens doors without electricity.

Somebody ought to tell the electric company.

They're losing a bundle on her.

I'm losing a bundle on you.

I have to pay for a glass door.

Eyeglasses, lessons in how to read would be cheaper.

All right, go ahead and joke.

I'm telling you, she's strange.

She's strange? You're strange.

So prove it!

Prove you're strange?

Prove they've got an electric door!

How? Go over and ask 'em.

I will. Tonight I'll go.

Why do you have to wait until tonight?

Because if I have to look like an idiot,

I'd rather do it in the dark!

I don't know, Sam. This is so expensive.

I can make do with my old rod and reel.

You cannot make do with your old rod and reel.

This is your vacation.

You've earned it, you need it

and you deserve the best.

I have spoken.

Like a true and loving wife.

Which, by an odd coincidence, I just happen to be.

The best odd coincidence I ever heard of.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Somebody's timing leaves much to be desired.

Much.

Oh, hi, Mr. Kravitz.

Hello, Mr. Stephens.

DARRIN: Come in.

No, thank you. I just stopped by for a second.

I wanted to ask you about your door.

Our door?

Pretty nice.

I've been thinking of getting one too.

You recommend it?

No house should be without one.

Wait a minute. I'm not talking about this door.

I was talking about your garage door.

Our garage door?

Like I said, I'm thinking of getting one.

And today, when my wife and I saw yours work...

DARRIN: Ours work?

ABNER: Your electric door.

Samantha!

Was our electric garage door

working today, sweetheart?

Only once.

Only once. That's what I'm afraid of.

Some of these new gimmicks,

they haven't got the kinks out of yet.

Did you get yours from the guy at the market?

DARRIN: I forget.

Which market did we get ours from, sweetheart?

Mind if I have a look at it?

Uh, look at it?

Well, there's no point

in looking at it tonight, Mr. Kravitz.

It's so dark out. Especially with it not working.

Why don't you come back

tomorrow night, Mr. Kravitz,

and we'll give you a full demonstration.

Yes. Thank you.

Darling...

what are you going to do?

Do? It's simple.

I'll have to buy one new electric garage door

and make do with one old rod and reel.

You ready, Max?

Okay, Noel.

Three, two, one, zero!

A-okay, Noel.

Be my guest.

Well, that wraps it up, lady.

Wear it in good health.

Just what I've always wanted.

Only not really.

You know you can be as far as a block away

and open that door?

Is that so?

That's hard to believe.

Your husband should be very pleased with it.

I don't think so.

He didn't want to buy it for himself.

He didn't?

No.

That's why you had it put in, huh?

We only had it put in for the neighbors.

That makes sense.

Not to me, it doesn't.

Bye!

Ain't it a shame?

Always the good-looking ones.

Here, they come up empty.

I was just thinking of that installation on Maple.

Oh?

I put in one of these doors

and I tuned in the receiver

just a little bit wrong.

What happened?

I got tuned in on the aircraft bands.

An aircraft band?

Every time a plane went overhead

and the pilot turned on the radio,

it opened the Brian" garage door.

It was a real fluke.

I probably couldn't do it again if I tried.

[AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARS]

I closed that.

At least I thought I did.

[AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARS]

I know I did.

All right.

Have it your own way.

Stay open.

Hello, dear.

Oh, hi, Mother...

Aha!

I should have known.

What are you talking about?

You're the one that's been

opening and closing my garage door.

I've been doing nothing of the kind.

Oh, really, Samantha!

If I was starved for entertainment,

I certainly could conjure up

something more amusing than that.

Then who has been doing it?

I haven't the faintest idea.

Now, what's all this nonsense

about garage doors, anyway?

Oh, well, it's a long, dull story, Mother.

I made the mistake of flipping ours open,

and Gladys Kravitz saw me.

Is that the story?

Just about.

Well, it's not long

but it certainly is dull.

Darrin was afraid that Mrs. Kravitz's curiosity

might lead to trouble,

so we gave up all his fishing equipment

and bought this gadget for the door.

That is sad.

That's the longest, dullest,

saddest story I've ever heard.

But if that's all that's troubling you...

I'll fix it.

Oh, my stars.

All right, Mother. Your little joke is over.

Now take all this stuff away.

I thought you said Dobbin needed new fishing equipment.

Dobbin is a horse.

Yes.

Darrin is my husband.

And he wants fishing equipment he pays for himself.

Abner!

All right. All right, Samantha.

No lectures, please.

Boo!

Good.

Look for yourself.

I never saw anything like it.

Stop pushing, Gladys.

I know that when I turn my head

to look in that window

there'll be nothing there.

Stop talking. Get up on that thing and look.

Like I said, there's nothing there.

What?!

Uh, but I saw it.

There was a room

full of poles and reels and fish.

There was a sailfish this big.

And rubber boots!

Hey!

( babbling )

Hi, sweetheart. Hi, darling.

You're late.

I know. I missed the bus.

Well, that's another thing

we can blame on that door.

Another thing? Yes.

If you hadn't had to leave the car here

to have that thing installed...

Oh, well. Hurry up.

I tried to call you at the office

but you were in a meeting.

Why? What's the matter?

That door.

I wondered why you left it open.

You mean it's open again?

Uh-huh.

That's the fifth time today.

That's what I mean.

What's what you mean?

Well, it keeps opening and closing,

opening and closing, all by itself.

At first I thought Mother was responsible,

but she swears she isn't.

Then I thought it might be

the kids in the neighborhood

fooling around the way they do.

So I watched.

But no kids.

No kids, huh?

No. They were all in school.

Really, Darrin, it's strange.

There was nobody around. Nobody around for miles.

And the door kept opening and closing all by itself, huh?

Exactly.

Ooh, it's eerie.

It gives me the creeps.

What do you suggest we do about it?

Well, that's the best part.

The solution to all our problems.

Oh?

Well, there's obviously

something the matter with that darn door.

Defective or something. So...

So?

So we call the company

after we've shown it to the Kravitzs

to prove we really had one.

We show them that it doesn't work,

which we already established last night, remember?

We make the company take back the door.

They return the money.

And you get your rod and reel as planned.

Marvelous?

Marvelous.

That was a nice touch about your mother.

Huh?

And I like the bit about the kids too.

It gave it a note of reality.

Darrin,

don't you believe me?

Come on, honey.

Even if it were true,

the company wouldn't give us our money back.

They'd just fix the door, that's all.

What do you mean, "If it were true"?

Come on, honey. We've got to get going.

Darrin?

Sweetheart, will you come on?

Darrin!

Darrin.

Darling, I appreciate why you want to do this.

I know you feel guilty about our having to buy that door,

and it's very generous of you to want to make it up to me.

But you can't do it with this.

That would be cheating.

If you put a pshh on that door,

and you threw the mechanism out of whack,

the company's gonna have to pay for it.

You don't believe me.

I want you to put your nose out to pasture.

Now you're being ridiculous.

I am not being ridiculous!

As a matter of fact, I am not suggesting,

I am not requesting, I'm not even putting in a plea.

I am commanding, calmly, but commanding.

No more witchcraft...

no matter how tempted or provoked you may be.

You mean like now?

That's right.

Even like now.

Sam!

Darrin, if you don't listen to me

we're going to have a fight.

No, if you don't do as I ask,

we're going to have a war.

All right.

All right.

Believe me.

Nothing in this world

could ever make me resort to witchcraft again.

Not after this.

Shall we go?

Thank you.

Ooh!

[PLAYING SIMPLE TUNE]

Shh! Abner!

They just came out of the house.

They're getting into the car.

Who? The Stephens!

You interrupted Johann Sebastian Bach

to deliver that startling bulletin?

I think they're going out together.

Well, that's nice.

They're married.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Where is it?

What?

The button.

Thank you.

[PLANE ENGINE ROARS]

[CLICKING BUTTON REPEATEDLY]

What's the matter?

It's... Nothing the matter.

It's out of kilter or something.

I'll let it rest for a minute.

Oh, by all means.

We wouldn't want to tire it out.

Now.

[CLICKING]

It's dead.

In this marvelous door?

If you hadn't played around

with it this afternoon...

It either operates electronically or manually.

I suggest that if we're going to

get to the Tates' this evening,

you open it manually.

That's what I'm doing.

Shh! They'll hear you!

Well, I've got nothing to hide.

I do.

I don't want them peeking over here

while I'm spying on them,

so don't play!

Well, let me know when they go.

They're just sitting in the car in the garage.

Good.

Now, should I go back to Bach

or would you rather hear "Cheek to Cheek"?

Huh?

What would you like, Gladys?

Make a request.

Don't play.

Wait a minute.

Where's the switch?

What switch?

The switch to put it on manual?

You can't operate it manually unless you turn off...

They never said anything about a switch.

You didn't ask?

Well, it's gotta be around here somewhere.

Outside, maybe.

[SIGHS]

They don't put 'em outside.

They put them inside

in case somebody gets trapped

in the garage.

How could anyone get trapped in a garage?

Well, they could have a short like we have,

and they might not be able to find the switch

like we can't,

and they might get trapped in the garage like we are!

Sam, we gotta get out of here.

How?

I don't know how!

Sure I do.

Go ahead.

Go ahead what?

You know... open the door.

You're kidding.

Do I look like I'm kidding?

You made me swear.

My solemn oath. My vow.

But this is an emergency.

You said, "under no conditions," and I quote.

I'm glad you remember, sweetheart, but...

Under no circumstances.

Well, that's right.

And that's what I meant.

But... under no ordinary circumstances,

and these are certainly not ordinary circumstances.

So... I uncommand you.

You can't do that.

It can't be "no" one minute and "yes" the next.

If I give my word, and I gave my word,

it's a matter of principle.

It is indeed a matter of principle.

And I, your husband,

am asking you, my wife,

to open that door.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Darrin... I didn't touch that door.

Honestly.

Of course you didn't. But thank you, anyway.

You don't believe me!

Well, that does it.

Sam, what are you doing?

That is one crazy, nutty, rotten door.

If you're gonna believe it and not me

then there's no point in going on.

So take your pick. It or me.

For crying out loud, Sam. Do you know what you're saying?

I know that I'm perfectly willing

to take the blame for anything I do.

But I am not going to take the blame

for whoever or whatever

is turning that door into an electronic yo-yo.

So there.

Gladys, get away from the window.

Could you explain something to me?

If it's about why we got married, no.

Why would two grown-up people

get all dressed up,

walk out their front door into the garage,

close the door and just sit there?

Why, Abner? Explain it to me.

What are they doing?

Maybe they're necking.

I want you to come over there

with me right now.

Gladys, please.

No, I mean it!

There's something fishy going on

and I want to find out what it is!

Sam...

Don't be angry.

What's there to be angry about?

You don't believe me.

That's plenty to get angry about.

I believe you.

If you're gonna get this angry, I believe you.

You promise? I promise.

I know they're in there. I saw them with my own eyes.

Didn't you see them, Abner?

Yes, Gladys.

What are they doing in there?

Inhaling carbon monoxide, maybe.

How do I know?

You could be right.

Open the door, Abner.

It's not my place to open their door, Gladys.

There! You see?

I couldn't have opened it.

You were kissing me.

You were in front of my nose.

You saw my nose.

Now, take it easy, sweetheart.

I believe you. I believe you.

Did you hear that, Abner? What?

Something about her nose...

Gladys, keep your voice down.

Good evening.

Uh, we saw you

going into the garage,

and we thought that maybe you were in trouble.

We couldn't get the door open.

I was asking my wife to open it.

You asked her to open the garage door?

Well, it wouldn't open.

That seemed like the only solution.

That isn't what I mean at all.

What I mean is, um...

sometimes you hear about women

doing things with hairpins.

Um, you understand what I mean, don't you?

SAM: Oh, well, I do.

You see, he means that sometimes

women can work magic

with things that don't work.

And when that happens,

a man should definitely let her do so.

Right, darling?

Right, darling.

Well, we've got to get going. Good night.

Good night. Good night.

I hope you noticed I didn't say one word

about her being strange.

I'm glad you didn't, because she isn't. He is.

Well, it's all fixed.

You won't have that problem again.

What about the Kravitzs' door?

Oh, theirs is working fine.

But while we're here,

we'll check it again, just to make sure.

Say, Max, why don't you

turn off the Kravitzs' door

until we check it out for any shorts.

I already did.

That's what I was doing.

It's off now. Ah, swell.

Well, Mr. Stephens,

would you like to give it a try?

Okay.

There, now. See?

How about that? That's real nice.

Yoo-hoo!

We got ours too!

[SCREAMS]

[♪♪♪]