Original subtitles

Well, Mary and I have been discussing it,

and we've decided we won't be able

to go to Miami to the conclave.

We just don't feel right about going off

and leaving your poor Aunt Clara by herself.

Doesn't she want to go along?

Of course she does.

But she won't.

She's no longer able to fly that far.

Oh, poor dear.

And she's too proud to take a plane.

Well, you know, she gets all mixed up in her spells,

and then when anyone tries to help her,

she gets so depressed.

Where is she now?

Well, she should be here.

I offered to bring her,

but she insisted on flying by herself.

What can I do to help?

Let her stay with you

until we get back from Florida.

You seem to be doing so well

without witchcraft.

Maybe you could show Clara how to manage.

Of course she can stay with us,

and we'll help her in any way we can.

I knew you wouldn't let me down.

[KNOCKING]

Oh, that must be Clara now.

Don't you worry about a thing.

I'll talk to her.

It would be better if I weren't here.

She gets terribly self-conscious

in front of me.

Well, you run along, and don't worry.

All right. Goodbye, dear.

I'll just go out this way.

[KNOCKING]

Hi...

Aunt Clara?

[KNOCKING]

Aunt Clara?

[KNOCKING]

Aunt Clara?

[KNOCKING]

Aunt Clar...

[KNOCKING, RATTLING]

Uh-oh.

Oh! Aunt Clara.

Thank goodness it's you.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Oh! I've lost my doorknobs.

No, you haven't, sweetheart.

They're all over the floor.

Don't move. Don't move.

Oh, Samantha...

How'd you get in the closet?

I don't know.

I don't know, I just...

Don't go away.

Oh, dear. Ooh. Ooh.

Well, at least I'm in the right house.

[♪♪♪]

Of course I'm glad Aunt Clara's here for a visit,

but I wish you'd let me know.

Oh, I'm really sorry

I couldn't get you in time

to cancel the theater tickets,

but I knew you'd understand.

It's okay. It doesn't matter.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Aunt Clara!

I'm so glad to see you.

Oh! Thank you, dear.

Now, I don't need any looking after,

and I refuse to be treated as a guest.

I hope you'll excuse me

if I give you a little hug

once in a while.

Well. Oh...

But don't overdo it.

[CHUCKLES]

Here you are, Aunt Clara.

No, I don't need that.

Would you like a little sherry?

Oh, yes, but I'll, uh, get my own sherry.

I can still do things for myself,

although some people think otherwise.

Now, let me see. Now, that's, um...

Prendel...

brun...

stackpool.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, don't worry.

Don't worry, Aunt Clara.

No harm done.

None at all.

These are my favorites.

Here you are, dear.

Oh, but you handed it to me!

Yes, of course.

Oh!

So you've forgotten the spell too?

No, no.

We prefer it this way. No witchcraft.

Oh, I see what you're trying to tell me,

and you're both very sweet,

but I'm not going to stay here

another moment

unless you go on living your lives

just as if I weren't here.

Well, all right,

if that's the way you feel.

Darrin and I have tickets

for the theater tonight,

and we're going to use them.

And since you're not a guest,

you can come in the kitchen

and help me fix dinner.

Oh, good.

I'll take my sherry with me.

We better hurry, honey. We'll be late.

Well... Oh, now...

Now, have a good time, a good, good time.

All right. Now, don't you work too hard.

No. No.

You promise? I promise.

All right. BOTH: Bye-bye.

Have a good time. Have...

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

Well, I suppose

we must get all you dirty dishes into the kitchen.

Now, gently, now, so none of us break.

[CHUCKLES WEAKLY]

Ah...

Franken...

blue...

crugut.

Oh, dear.

I wonder what I did wrong?

Well, now, I suppose I can...

do the leftovers myself.

Suds.

S-Suds.

Zolten...

durban...

lye...

loam.

Well! Oh...

That wasn't so difficult, was it?

[CHUCKLING] Oh!

[HUMMING]

[STAMMERING]

Zolten, durban, lye, and lo...

Ohh! Inflato!

Oh, no! Stop 'em.

Stop 'em! Halt 'em?

Stop 'em!

Help, I said...

Oh, help 'em.

Help 'em.

It was a great play, if you ask me.

One of the best I've ever seen. Don't you think so?

Well, sweetheart,

I've seen an awful lot of plays.

Oh, really?

I was only kidding.

I agree with you 100 percent!

Well, I hope Aunt Clara

found something to amuse herself.

My stars!

Aunt Clara?

I had a bit of trouble in the kitchen.

Oh, my goodness.

Here, Aunt Clara.

A nice cup of tea

will make you feel better.

Oh, no, I...

you know, I feel terrible

over the mess I made of things.

Don't be silly, sweetheart.

As a matter of fact, you've done me a favor.

The house has never looked cleaner.

I can't do the simplest thing, like washing the dishes,

or the simplest kind of a spell.

You could learn the mortal way of doing things.

Oh, no, I don't want to do that.

Aunt Clara, you're simply feeling sorry for yourself.

And who has a better right?

No, I might as well face it.

I'm earthbound.

I'm nothing but a...

helpless old witch.

I hope we're doing the right thing.

Oh, of course we are, darling.

All ready, Aunt Clara.

It'll be good for her to get out

and do a little nightclubbing with us,

and she'll love the Caldwells.

I know, sweetheart.

I just don't want her to feel

we're pushing too hard.

Nonsense.

She'll have a marvelous time.

Well, well. Here I am.

All set, Aunt Clara?

Oh, yes, yes, dear. Yes.

But I do feel like a fifth wheel.

What's wrong with a fifth wheel?

There have been many times

I was glad I had a spare.

Oh.

What's he mean by that?

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Hi.

Hi!

Hi, Darrin. Hi, Bea.

This is my Aunt Clara.

Aunt Clara, this is Bea Caldwell.

I'm glad to meet you.

[STAMMERING] How do you do?

Stash your coats.

We may be here for a while.

SAMANTHA: Oh? Tom still working?

BEA: Oh, we'll meet him downtown,

but I'm afraid we have other problems.

SAMANTHA: What happened?

BEA: My regular babysitter copped out on us,

and I still haven't been able to find another one.

Something wrong, Aunt Clara?

Oh, no, no.

I was just, uh, admiring the doorknob.

Well, let me take your coat.

No, no, no.

Now, you run along with the others.

I'll hang it up myself.

I beg your pardon.

They must have somebody on call

in case of an emergency.

I collect goldfish.

Would you like to see them?

Ooh, I certainly would, yes.

I'm gonna introduce her to my fish.

Thank you.

Well, that's that. No babysitter.

Oh, that's a shame, Bea.

Well, I wanted to be a mother.

Fish are a lot of fun.

Oh, yes, I'm sure they are.

Why don't you three go on downtown and meet Tom?

DARRIN: Nothing doing.

BEA: Oh, no, please.

It's better than leaving him

in the big city all by himself.

Let him come home.

We'll fix something here.

Oh, y-you know,

I have a splendid idea!

Now, why don't you all run along,

and I'll stay here with Jimmy?

BEA: No, no, I wouldn't think of it.

Uh, no, Aunt Clara, wherever we go, you go.

Oh, no.

But I'd enjoy it. Really, I would.

Well, it's sweet of you to offer, Aunt Clara,

but we can all go out to dinner

another time.

Oh, well...

if I'm a guest, I must do as you like,

but if I had my druthers,

I'd druther stay home with Jimmy.

Well... all right.

If you'd druther.

I wanna show you my marbles.

I've got an agate lagger.

Oh, no!

Have a good time.

I'll get our coats.

What do you think?

I think it's marvelous.

Oh, isn't he nice and fluffy.

Yes, but he doesn't like me much.

Oh, that's nonsense.

Of course he does.

Well, now, you watch...

[BELL RINGING]

Hey, he wagged his tail!

Yes. Wasn't that good?

[RINGING]

[CHUCKLING]

This is my favorite, but I broke it.

Ooh!

Oh, that's a pity.

Let me see, now.

Maybe I can fix it.

Sailboat... mast?

Boy!

How did you do that?

Oh, it's really nothing.

What else can you do?

Well, I... I can't do what I used to do, but, uh...

Let me see. Uh...

How would you like a toy soldier?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, uh...

Oh! Oh, dear.

I've done it again.

Well...

Hey! You're a magician.

No, I'm a witch.

You are?

Gee.

I wish you could live here all the time.

Oh! Oh, thank you very much, Jimmy.

Well, now, off to bed.

[♪♪♪]

Hey!

Neato!

I'm sorry.

Aunt Clara's booked solid on Thursday.

Just a minute.

She could sit with your little girl

from 2:00 until 4:30 on Friday.

Oh.

No, mm-mm. Saturday's all filled up.

Okay, 2:00 Friday.

[♪♪♪]

Fine. Oh, fine!

Yes, I'll have her there at 2:00,

a week from Thursday.

Uh-huh. Bye.

Oh, isn't it wonderful?

I've never been so busy in all my life.

[SIGHS] Neither have I.

Come on, let's go.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Now, no more arguments.

You go to sleep.

Hey!

It squirted in my face!

See what happens when you're naughty?

Well, we had breakfast in Cairo,

then we flew off to London.

How did you fly, Aunt Clara?

Prop or jet?

A proper what?

What airlines did you take

from Cairo to London?

Airlines? Oh.

Witches don't bother with airlines.

They just take off.

Really? Gee.

How do you do it?

Well, when you're a young witch, it's easy.

Oh, the joy of wanting to be in some place

and... alakazam! You're on your way.

Alakazam! Alakazam!

Ah, but it's different when you get older.

You mean you can't fly anymore?

Well, not like I used to.

I can't even fly across the Gulf of Mexico

with a favorable wind.

But you still can make short hops,

can't you?

Oh, well, if I'm up to it,

um, from rooftop to rooftop, that sort of thing.

Are you up to it tonight, Aunt Clara?

Will you show us how?

Oh, no, Louise, no, not tonight,

but by the way I'm feeling...

I may be up to it by next week.

Oh, boy! That's great!

Oh, and in the meantime...

Do you think it's normal for a babysitter

to tell children she's a witch?

Oh, Agnes,

it's just her way to amuse them.

Well, I don't know what she's done to my kids,

but they believe she's a witch.

So do Louise and Gary!

And if you ask me,

I think she believes it herself.

But Aunt Clara's a good witch.

If I promise not to try,

will you let her fly off our roof?

Elsie?

But Mama...

Please be quiet.

Oh, no, not you, Elsie.

There's something I think you should know

about Aunt Clara

before you hear it from your children.

You have?

Yes.

Darrin, this paper says

that Aunt Clara's restrained from any further babysitting

until she reports to Judge Virgil Winner

for a hearing.

There's a troublemaker in this neighborhood.

Now, Sam, calm down.

Never trouble trouble.

I will not calm down!

Just when she's found something

she loves to do? It isn't fair!

That much I agree with,

but if Aunt Clara appears before that judge

and starts talking...

I want to come face-to-face

with the person

that started this smear campaign

against my Aunt Clara!

And I'll help you,

but...

No rash acts, no temper, and above all, no...

Please, promise, for everyone's sake.

Well...

Sam!

All right, Darrin, I promise.

Aunt Clara.

Is there no surname?

It isn't necessary.

You may call me Aunt Clara.

Very well.

Aunt Clara,

are you aware of the nature of the complaints

Mrs. Agnes Bain has filed against you?

Yes, of course, quite aware.

Now, you understand this is not a trial?

It's only a hearing

to determine the accuracy of the complaint.

Now, would you mind answering

a few questions for me?

Not at all, not at all.

Aunt Clara,

do you know the meaning of the word "competent"?

Yes, I do.

Do you believe

that you are a competent person?

CLARA: Well, of course!

But there's some things I don't do as well as I used to,

not at my age.

Who does?

Aunt Clara, do you like children?

Well, very much so.

Do you ever feel resentful toward children?

Resentful?

Oh, my, no!

Why should I?

Well, sometimes when we get a little older,

we resent those around us who are younger.

Well, I suppose you have a point there...

but I don't think "resentful" is the right word.

No.

I think we like to look back, remember when we were young,

at a time free of care,

full of happiness,

and, uh, music and bright colors.

[CLARA CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Aunt Clara,

during your employment as a babysitter,

did you ever tell children you were a witch?

Oh, yes.

Well, y-you told them this in the spirit

of make-believe?

Oh, no, no.

I was quite serious.

But witches are evil beings.

Were you trying to frighten the children?

Oh, certainly not.

And what makes you think that witches are evil?

Well, aren't they?

Oh, pure flummery.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, flapdoodle and...

blatherskite.

We're like just ordinary people...

only we do, uh,

little extra things, that's all.

Oh. What sort of little extra things?

Well, some of us paint,

write music,

like Mozart and... Rembrandt.

You mean Mozart and Rembrandt were witches?

Well, you don't think

they were ordinary, um... human beings, do you?

Aunt Clara,

what sort of extra things are you able to do?

Well, not as many as I could when I was younger.

Let's put it this way:

Did you tell the children in your care

that you could perform feats of magic?

Yes, I did tricks for them.

Oh? What kind of tricks?

Can you do any of them now?

Why... I suppose I can.

How about a rabbit?

A rabbit...

Let me see.

That would be winken, blinken,

three times three.

[CHIRPING]

Oh.

Oh, dear.

Doesn't look like a rabbit at all, does it?

[CLARA CHUCKLING]

Well, now, let me see.

Oh, I thought a rabbit

was "winken and blinken..."

Well, it is, yes.

Four times four!

[POODLE YAPPING]

Oh!

Yes.

Oh... yes.

[STAMMERING]

It isn't right yet, no.

[CHUCKLES WEAKLY]

Well, we're getting closer.

Oh, dear.

You know, I... I know the spell

just as well as I know my own name.

Now, winken, blinken, and...

Oh, yes!

Ten times ten.

[LOUD ROAR]

[ROARING CONTINUES]

How did you do that?

[STAMMERING] I'm not sure.

Very funny!

If you think this is a laughing matter,

ask her how she intended

to fly off the roof

carrying my children.

Will you be seated, Mrs. Bain?

Now, Aunt Clara,

had you intended to attempt such a thing?

Uh, well, I... I... I told the children

that if it were possible, I'd fly with them next week.

They got a great kick out of that.

[CLARA CHUCKLES]

Uh, but it wasn't possible, so I explained to them

that I was no longer a young witch,

and there would be no flying from rooftop to rooftop.

We don't like to disappoint children, do we?

So I could make it up to them

with several other little tricks I think they'd like.

I just have one more question I'd like you to answer.

Yes?

Could you possibly arrange

to come sit at my house with my son?

He's 7 years old.

[STAMMERING SILENTLY]

Oh, yes, I'd...

I'd be delighted.

Oh, yes.

I'm sorry, judge,

but Aunt Clara won't be available

for the next two weeks.

She's going to Florida today.

She'll be glad

to sit with little Otis for you

when she gets back.

Oh, thank you.

Bye.

Well, you've got a list of clients

whenever you want them.

Well, isn't that nice?

Are you all set?

We'll have to hurry to get the train.

No, no, you don't have to drive me.

I can get there under my own power.

Aunt Clara, are you sure?

But I told you I felt much better.

Oh, y... I'll prove it.

Are you all right?

[STAMMERING] F-Fine. I'm fine.

What went wrong?

Maybe you didn't concentrate.

Ooh. Oh. Yes.

Could be, you know.

These walls are getting harder and harder.

Well, I... I proved it.

[CLARA CHUCKLING]

Oh, there's no witch like an old witch.

I... I'll get the car.

[♪♪♪]