Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

[MEOWS]

Well, hello there.

[MEOWS]

Where did you come from?

You hungry?

I don't think so.

Oh! Hello, Mrs. Kravitz. Looking for your cat?

No, my bird.

Oh, my stars.

Well, you don't mean...

Well, I put Tweety out for her sunbath,

and then I heard this meowing,

and when I went out, the cage was empty.

There she is. Where?

There. Don't you see?

No, I don't see. Where?

[SQUAWKS]

Oh! There you are, Tweety.

Oh, I'm so glad you're safe.

Oh, Tweety, don't you ever worry your mommy

like that again.

Oh, you saw Tweety way up there on the roof.

You must have wonderful eyes.

Thank you.

I'm glad Tweety's back.

Oh, so am I!

Oh, Tweety!

Tweety...

[♪♪♪]

[RINGS]

Hello!

Oh, hi, Wally.

How are you?

In trouble as usual, Samantha.

Has Darrin left yet?

No. No, he hasn't.

Just a second. I'll call him.

Darrin... ooh.

It's for you... Thank you.

Wally Ames. He sounds upset.

I'll bet he does.

Hello, Wally.

What's that?

Rick Avery just called.

He's tired of waiting around

for Pickering to approve a girl

for the "Jewel of the East" campaign.

He said to tell you that he is on his way to Paris.

Okay, so he is on his way to Paris.

When we find the right girl, you'll photograph her.

Of course you can do it, Wally.

You're every bit as good as Avery

any day of the week.

Yeah. The only trick is to find a girl

that Pickering will approve.

He said to tell you...

Don't panic, Wally.

I'll be down as soon as I can.

Goodbye.

Here, darling, drink this.

I'll fix the eggs.

Oh, never mind, honey. I won't have time. Oh!

Could you believe it?

There isn't a girl in this city

that Pickering will approve as the "Jewel of the East."

What's he looking for?

Someone exotic and Eastern

for the annual institutional layout.

We just haven't been able to come up with the right face.

Well, don't worry.

You'll find her. I know you will.

It better be soon.

We're right down to the deadline.

I only need her for one day.

I wish I could help you. So do I,

but never mind.

See you tonight.

[MEOWS]

Oh!

[MEOWS]

He's very upset, you know?

Say...

you're exotic-looking...

[MEOWS]

And you come from the East.

You may just be the right face.

Cat, how'd you like to be a cover girl?

Hmm?

The "Jewel of the East."

The point is, Wally,

you've been doing Avery's work for years.

He got the reputation, you've got all the talent.

I wish I could believe that.

I wish you could too, because it's the truth.

All you need is a chance.

Now, you're willing to give Wally a shot

at photographing the Pickering campaign,

aren't you, Larry?

What makes you think there's going to be a campaign?

All we need's the right model.

How many have we shown him? Twenty, 25.

All great-looking girls,

and he hasn't okayed one, right? Right.

[CHIMING]

Suppose the impossible happened

and the right girl did walk in right this minute,

would we still have time to make the next issue?

Sure.

If she walked in right this minute.

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

Yes?

SECRETARY: There's a young lady

to see you and Mr. Stephens.

Not now.

Mr. Tate, I think you'd better see this one.

Okay, send her in.

Cheer up, Larry. This might be the one.

Dreamer.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

My name is Ling-Ling.

A friend suggested I might serve your needs

as the girl

for the "Jewel of the East" campaign.

I haven't much experience,

but I'm very adaptable and...

and agile.

Would you be interested in me?

What's the trouble?

Cat got your tongue?

I don't know about the others,

but I think you'd be perfect.

She is perfect.

Sensational.

Gentlemen, I think we're in business.

I think you're right my boy.

Wally, I want you to shoot Miss Ling-Ling.

A headshot, a real choker. Yes, yes.

Larry, you go see Pickering, get him all steamed up.

I'll wait for the pictures then dash over to meet you.

LARRY: Good thinking, Darrin.

If he doesn't go for this, he doesn't deserve a campaign.

As a matter of fact, Wally,

don't even wait for Pickering's okay.

Go ahead and shoot the campaign as planned.

I've got the assignment?

Has he, Larry?

What's he waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

Yes, what are we waiting for?

Miss. Ling-Ling,

would you sit up here in this seat, please,

and just relax, be comfortable?

That's it.

And drop the coat anywhere you want.

That's a beautiful necklace.

The lights might get a little warm after a while.

I'm sorry to have to rush you this way.

Oh, that's all right.

I'm used to moving swiftly...

When I have to.

You're, uh,

you're tilting your head too much.

Would you...? Would you straighten it

and look right into the lens, please?

Oh, now you're...

Now you're looking too much the other way.

Uh... Just watch the birdie.

Birdie?

That's it! Hold it.

Hold it.

That's fine.

You can relax now.

Well, that's it, and you were wonderful.

Thank you.

Would you like cream in your coffee?

No coffee, just cream, please.

You know...

I have a hunch

you're going to be lucky for me. I'm lucky?

If Darrin and Mr. Tate sell the Pickering people,

I think we've got a great campaign started.

Started?

You must have taken 200 pictures of me this afternoon.

Almost.

And I must say you were wonderful.

I've never seen such patience.

It's one of my virtues.

[LARRY LAUGHING]

Congratulations, Miss Ling-Ling.

You're officially the "Jewel of the East."

May I change now?

Of course.

Wally, it worked.

Pickering was crazy about that picture you took.

Well, wait till he sees what we got this afternoon.

He'll go out of his mind.

That girl is just great. I agree wholeheartedly.

So do I.

Now, this calls for a celebration,

at my house.

Larry, why don't you call Louise

and have her meet us there at 7:00?

It's a date.

We'll drink to the success

of the most promising photographer in town.

Well, thanks to you, Darrin,

and that fabulous girl.

She's is so self-reliant, and...

so delicate and graceful.

Well, what do you know,

I think Wally found himself a model

and new career all in the same afternoon.

We'll see you at the house. It's almost 6.

You'd better phone Samantha and let her know we're coming.

It is awfully short notice.

Maybe I'd better bow out.

You'll do nothing of the kind.

You sure Samantha can handle it?

Gentlemen, my wife can handle anything.

But I'd better call her just in case.

I told Abner

about your finding Tweety this morning,

you remember?

Oh, yes, of course.

By the way, have you seen that cat?

I sent her out on an errand.

She should be back any minute.

Oh... it wasn't important.

I'll bet Mr. Kravitz is glad to get Tweety back too.

No, he wasn't.

He hates birds.

Say, are you going out to dinner tonight?

No. No. I was just going through the cookbook

to see if I could find something different.

I just wondered.

Your kitchen is so uncluttered, and it's after 6.

Oh, it doesn't take long.

It's just the two of us.

Well, I'd better get back to my own kitchen. Bye.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello!

Oh, hi, darling.

I've got a lot to tell you and it's all good news.

I'm bringing, Wally, Larry, and Louise home for dinner.

Is that the good news?

No. It's about the Pickering account.

I'll tell you all about it when I get there.

How soon will that be?

I'm leaving right now.

Bye, sweetheart.

Oh, goodbye, sweetheart.

Cocktails and dinner for all those people.

Ooh!

Oh, dear.

Darrin, please forgive me,

but I'm sure

that you'd consider this an emergency.

First...

the hors d'oeuvres.

Some of that cream soup that Darrin is so crazy about.

Let's see...

Ah! Leg of lamb might be nice.

Maybe a green salad.

With some rolls

and an unpretentious little wine.

Delicious.

Now...

I wonder what would be good for dessert.

I just got back to explain that remark I made about Abner.

He doesn't hate all birds,

just mine.

You know what I think?

I think he's jealous

of the time I spend with her.

Hmm... hmm!

Sardines, delicious.

Have another.

Look at all this food. Where did it come from?

The market.

Yeah, but I mean, a minute ago,

there was nothing here.

I'm a fast worker.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh.

I knew there was nothing here.

Yeah.

Well, I wish I was a fast worker.

[DOOR SHUTS]

Now... dessert.

Honey, I'm home.

Hi, sweetheart. Hi, sweetheart.

Where are the others?

They're right behind me.

Is everything all right? Mm-hmm. Just fine.

Hi, Samantha.

I bet you're delighted to have us turn up

at the last minute like this.

I'm delighted to see both of you any time.

Darrin, she's a gem.

An absolute gem.

If I pulled this on Louise, she'd kick me out of the house.

And Samantha would probably be foolish enough

to let you in. Oh!

Where's Wally?

WALLY: Here I am.

I brought a friend. I hope it's all right.

Of course it is.

Come on in. It's all right.

She...

she was a little timid about imposing, Samantha,

but I told her you wouldn't mind.

Relax, Ling-Ling, you're among friends.

She does look a little nervous, doesn't she?

Nervous as a cat.

Actually, we discovered we have a lot in common.

Ling-Ling doesn't care much for drinking.

She likes to hunt and fish,

and at night, she...

Oh, thank you.

She is perfectly content to just curl up

around the fire.

Not only that,

but she is really curious about everything...

Hey, you forgot Ling-Ling.

Well, I... I don't want to spoil her dinner.

We'll be going in in a minute.

Well, at least offer her some.

Better hurry, she's starving to death.

[LAUGHING]

Here you are, Louise.

Thank you.

Did Wally tell you

he was a tennis champ at college?

I don't think he mentioned it.

He used it to work his way through the school.

Quite a racket,

if you'll excuse the pun.

Well, how about you telling us your side of the story?

What do you feel about this lovesick shutterbug?

I beg your pardon.

Wally, what do you think of him?

Oh, I like him.

He gave me a pretty collar to wear

and took my picture.

A pretty collar?

The "Jewel of the East,"

and she calls it a pretty collar.

I wish Pickering could hear that.

There are spoons

for those of you who wish to use them.

However, if you prefer

to drink your soup

in the true native manner,

as Ling-Ling is doing,

you will find it a delicious way

to savor the brew.

You sound like a guide.

Lap up your soup, darling, before it gets cold.

I think those two are getting serious.

Did you see the way he looked at her

all through dinner?

She's something to look at, isn't she?

Yes, she certainly is.

I think Ling-Ling and I

ought to have a little girl talk.

Ling-Ling?

You're angry because I didn't come back.

Oh, you came back all right.

Now I know it's just as much my fault

as it is yours,

but I wanted to help my husband.

I had no idea it would go this far.

Well, it has and I like it.

But it's impossible.

Oh, is it?

Of course.

Wally is just finding himself.

Now, you cannot let him fall in love with you,

and you cannot lead him on,

promising things you can't give him.

Why not?

Because sooner or later,

you're going to have to go back to what you really are.

One of these days,

you're going to wake up in a little tiny fur coat

you won't be able to take off,

then where will you be?

Oh, I know

how you feel about Wally now...

but you're very independent, you'll get over it.

I don't feel one way or the other about Wally,

but I do like things the way they are.

I like to be pampered and made a fuss over.

As long as he does that, I'm going to stay with him.

Ling-Ling, you listen to reason.

I'm not interested.

And you wouldn't be either

if you spent your life scrounging around alleys,

searching for scraps.

But all that's over with now.

From now on it'll be martinis and sardines

all the way.

Ling-Ling.

I'm shocked.

Don't be, pet.

Where I come from, it's one big rat race.

Hi there.

Am I interrupting anything?

Oh, no, darling.

We're just having a little kit-kat...

A chitchat.

We're all finished now, so if you'll excuse me.

She is all girl, isn't she?

Not exactly.

I know, there's something different about her?

You can say that again.

What's the matter, honey? Don't you like her?

It's not that, Darrin.

It's...

Well, she's just wrong for him.

Wally's crazy about her.

I might as well get this over with.

Ling-Ling is wrong for any man.

What do you mean by that?

She's a cat.

DARRIN: Why?

Did she say something about Louise?

Not that kind of a cat.

A cat-cat.

Honey, you're not making any sense.

You're not listening.

Well, say what you mean.

I said it.

Ling-Ling is a cat.

A cat?

A cat?

Cat?

Oh, no.

No.

No, no. You... You didn't take a cat

and turned it into a...

A Siamese cat.

You wanted something exotic and Eastern

for the campaign.

I thought I was doing you a favor.

A favor?

You took a cat and turned it into a girl.

Oh, I can't believe that.

Why can't I believe that?

I'm married to a witch

and a witch can do anything with anything,

so she just took a cat and turned it into a girl,

and my friend, Wally, fell in love with her.

What's so hard to believe?

Darrin, please.

Can you change her back?

Not in front of all those people.

What are we going to do?

You're Wally's friend. You tell him.

You're right.

I'll have to tell him.

I'll go right out there and tell him.

Tell him what?

Just try and discourage his feeling for her.

I'll take care of the rest later.

Darrin, have a heart.

Ling-Ling and I were planning for tomorrow.

Wally, this can't wait.

It's about her.

What about her?

Well, she...

she's no good.

What?

You heard me.

Well, why would you say a thing like that?

Because she's...

She's just not right for you.

Well, let me be the judge of that,

besides you hardly know her.

Believe me, I know more about her

than I can say right now.

I don't care about her past.

She's told me all about that.

I know she's been around,

but she's always managed to land on her feet.

There's more to it than that.

You just don't understand. Look, Darrin,

I've always considered you a friend of mine,

but you're out of line on this.

Wally, I am your friend.

If you only knew how much of a friend

I'm trying to be, that...

Wally!

Oh! Ling-Ling, we were just talking about you.

Um...

you will excuse us?

Ling-Ling, you forgot your drink.

Oh, thank you.

What happened?

What could happen?

He still doesn't know she's a cat,

but now he thinks I'm a rat.

Don't you worry.

I think everything is going to be just fine.

I'll bet.

I put something in her drink.

Catnip, I suppose.

Yes!

Sam, you didn't?

I did.

It'll relax her.

She just may tip her paw.

You look lovely in the moonlight.

Mm...

Ling-Ling, I'm crazy about you.

Everybody's interfering, but I won't listen.

I think you're the most wonderful girl in the world.

[LAUGHS]

You're so beautiful.

You're so graceful, so sweet.

[GIGGLES]

Are you all right, Ling-Ling?

Purr-fect.

Now, listen,

there's something very important

I want to tell you.

Don't drink any more.

I want you to hear what I have to say.

Give it back.

What's the matter, Ling-Ling?

I want it back.

Ling-Ling.

I want it back!

Sounds like the lovebirds are having a little spat.

Oh, I hope not.

They were getting along so well.

[HISSES]

Does a little nip mean more to you than I do?

Ling-Ling, I thought you cared for me.

[HISSES]

You may need this.

Don't stray too far.

Louise, I think we'd better go.

Larry, wait.

It is getting late.

But Wally is coming in.

Oh, my, Wally!

What happened?

Ling-Ling.

You were right, Darrin.

There must be something wrong with her.

I think she's a... Or something.

Wally, I'm sorry.

I don't know what came over her.

All I did was just take her drink away from her,

and all of a sudden, she arched her back

and hissed at me and scratched me.

It was terrible.

Good heavens.

That's too bad, my boy, but don't worry.

She probably had a bit too much.

It happens in the best of families.

She'll probably call and apologize tomorrow.

Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that.

It's better that you found out now than later.

Yeah, I guess so.

LARRY: Of course!

After all, you're going to be

a famous photographer.

Think of all the pretty girls you'll be meeting.

Yeah.

It was just disappointing, though.

We had a date tomorrow to go bird watching.

[HUMMING]

What are you doing now?

Oh, it's for that cat

that's been hanging around, Abner.

I feel guilty for what happened today.

What happened?

I accused her of molesting Tweety.

She should get a medal.

I'm just going to leave her

a saucer of milk to apologize.

Here, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss.

Here, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss.

Well, it's here when you're ready, puss.

It's been quite a day, hasn't it?

Yes, but it turned out all right.

Even for Ling-Ling.

Ling-Ling!

I forgot to change her back.

Abner, there's a woman in a fur coat

lapping up the milk.

Is there?

Ling-Ling.

Abner, will you please come look?

Abner, hurry!

Ling...

Good.

Here, Gladys.

I thought I'd be prepared this time.