Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

[DIVING BOARD CREAKING]

[WATER SPLASHING]

Ooh. Ahh!

[GIGGLES]

Ooh!

Ooh.

[GIGGLES]

Right!

[SCREECHES]

Aahh!

Eeeh!

[♪♪♪]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Samantha? This is Louise Tate.

I'm at the corner filling station.

I must see you right away.

Right away?

Well, wouldn't it be better if I met you somewhere?

Oh, well,

if it's that urgent, Louise, yes, all right, I'll see you.

I'll be right there.

Good. Goodbye.

[♪♪♪]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hello, Loui... Hello, Samantha.

Louise, what's the matter?

Has something happened to Darrin?

Oh, no, no. Of course not.

Is Larry all right?

Up till now, yes.

Well, for heaven's sakes, Louise, what happened?

Samantha, Larry and I have been married for 16 years.

Did you know that?

Yes, of course.

Well, now, after all this time...

Has something happened between you and Larry?

Yes, finally.

Louise, no!

I'm going to be a mother.

Louise, no!

Yes. The doctor just called to say the tests were positive.

I'm on my way to see him now. Will you come with me, Samantha?

Oh, yes, of course!

I'm terrified! Why?

It's the most wonderful thing

that could ever happen to a woman.

Well, I'm not so terrified of the thought of being a mother

as I am of Larry being a father!

Larry will make a wonderful father.

What did he say when you told him?

I'm afraid to tell him, Samantha.

Afraid?

Well, after all these years,

I don't think Larry's gonna care for the idea.

Besides, he hates children.

Why?

He says they're too young.

Oh, my stars. Come on, Louise.

[DOOR SHUTS]

Well, what is it? A cavity.

A cavity?

Yeah, I think you better have it taken care of, Larry.

Yeah. I guess I better go during my lunch hour.

That's a good idea.

Uh, Darrin? Hmm?

How'd you like to go with me?

Well, what for?

Well, I just thought if you weren't particularly hungry,

perhaps you'd like to spend lunch with me.

You're not scared, are you, Larry?

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I just thought you could drive me back to the office

from the medical center, that's all.

That gas makes you a bit groggy, you know?

Gas? Oh, he won't give you gas for that.

What do you mean, no gas?

He's going to drill the tooth, isn't he?

Of course, but he'll probably give you a needle.

You're not serious?

To deaden the pain of the drill.

What deadens the pain of the needle?

Come on, Larry, it's just a little stick.

It only lasts for a minute.

Haven't you ever been to a dentist before?

Only once.

My father took me.

Well, how old were you?

Thirty-seven.

[LAUGHS]

Well, don't laugh. Everyone has their Achilles heel.

Mine happens to be in my mouth.

[CHUCKLES]

I know when I tell Larry, he'll faint.

Don't be silly.

It's times like these men become very strong.

You really think so?

I know it.

Then he'll probably hit me.

Louise.

And I just can't wait to see the look on Darrin's face

when I tell him.

Why, that lucky son of a gun.

Oh, hi, Larry. How'd it go?

[CHUCKLING]

Larry, are you all right?

What's the matter? They give you laughing gas or something?

Darrin Stephens, you are one lucky son of a gun!

What are you talking about?

Who do you think I saw

when I came out of the dentist's office, hmm?

I don't know. Who? Guess!

I don't know. Samantha.

Samantha? What was she doing at the medical center?

I didn't talk to her.

She didn't see me. Oh?

Know where she went? No.

Guess! I don't know!

I don't suppose I really ought to tell you.

Certainly you ought to tell me!

All right. Sit down.

I don't wanna sit down!

[CHUCKLES]

You lucky son of a gun!

What are you talking about?

Oh, oh, okay, okay.

Don't sit down.

But if you fall down, don't blame me... papa.

What did you say? You heard me.

Papa.

Larry, are you serious?

Of course I'm serious.

I saw her go into Dr. Bricey's office.

Hmm? Dr. Bricey, the obstetrician?

That's incredible.

Louise was with her, and I heard them talking.

Samantha said she couldn't wait

to see the look on your face when she told you.

That's incredible. I'll call her.

No, no, no, no, no. Don't do that.

This is probably the most important moment

in a woman's life.

Let her give you the news in her own way.

You're right.

I won't say a word.

I'll let her tell me when she wants to tell me.

I'll just call her now in case she wants to tell me now.

Take it easy, will you, Darrin?

She hasn't had a chance to get home yet.

Oh, yes, of course.

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

WOMAN: Mrs. Stephens is calling.

Remember, not one word, you lucky son of a gun.

Hello, sweetheart. How are you feeling?

Oh, I'm fine. How are you?

Oh, I'm fine. I'm just fine.

[WHISPERING] She's fine.

Where are you, darling?

I, uh, I'm in town, shopping,

and I ran into Louise Tate.

Oh, that's wonderful, sweetheart.

Yes, isn't that nice?

And we thought it might be a good idea

if you brought Larry home,

and the four of us could have dinner together.

[WHISPERING] Larry's there with him.

All right, sweetheart. Yes, we'll see you at home.

Hmm? Oh. Larry wants to talk to you.

What'll I say to him?

Oh, for heaven's sakes, Louise,

you've been married to him for 16 years.

Hello, Larry?

Yes, dear.

Oh, certainly, dear.

Goodbye, dear.

Darrin thought dinner was an excellent idea,

so long as I didn't stand on my feet too long.

I'll tell you,

that husband of mine is one kind and considerate man.

Seems like I've got

a pretty kind and considerate husband myself.

Oh? What'd he say?

He told me to cook the dinner.

He doesn't want you to stand on your feet too long either.

It'll be great for you, the best thing that ever happened.

It's gonna be wonderful.

Oh, children are marvelous when you're young.

Of course, when you get old and tired and impatient,

that's a different story.

That doesn't sound like you, Larry.

It isn't me. I meant Louise.

Oh.

Well, lucky, what do you think it'll be?

Well...

I haven't the faintest idea.

Well, one thing's for sure: It'll be either a boy or a girl.

I certainly hope so.

Well, I'll see you around 7. We'll head for home... papa.

[LARRY'S VOICE ECHOING] What do you think it'll be? What do you think it'll be?

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

Yes, Miss Nelson.

Mrs. Stephens and the children are here, Mr. Stephens.

Children?

Yes, sir. Shall I send them in?

Uh, yes, of course. Send them in.

Hi, Daddy!

Hi, Daddy!

Hi, Daddy!

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, Daddy.

Hello, darling.

I hope we didn't catch you when you were too busy.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Of course not, sweetheart.

I'm taking the children to lunch.

Then we're all going to the park.

Well, swell. I'll, uh...

Get down from there!

Okay, Daddy.

[BLOWING]

Oh, no.

Mama?

Yes, Rebecca?

Samuel has to... you know.

You take him, dear.

Okay. Come on, Samuel.

Samantha, are all our children...?

Well, of course, darling. What did you expect?

Mother, you tell Maurice to give me back my candy.

MAURICE: Oh, yeah?

Well, you're getting too fat anyway.

Don't you dare say that again.

Fat, fat, the water rat

Sam... Sam... Samantha, do something!

Now, little Endora,

you change your brother back immediately, do you hear?

Do I have to?

Yes, of course.

Okay.

Are you sure you can't come to the park with us, darling?

No! I don't think I can.

I mean, I've got so much to do, I'd better not.

Oh, all right, sweetheart. We'll see you at home.

Now, now, now, children. We've disturbed your father enough.

Last one to the park is a rotten egg!

SAMANTHA: All right, now. All together.

One, two, three.

[HEAVY WIND BLOWING]

Hey, Mom!

Come on, Julius.

[HEAVY WIND BLOWING]

Sam, what have we done?

Gladys, even if there was a pool,

you can't find it now!

It's dark out!

I don't know what they did with it,

but it's here somewhere, Abner,

and I've got to find it!

We'll get arrested, Gladys!

Not if you don't yell!

Why don't you stop all the noise and help me look?

I looked already, Gladys. Where'd you look?

I looked in the garage.

There is no swimming pool.

I examined the yard from one end to the other.

No swimming pool.

I even looked around the back, under the garbage cans.

There is no swimming pool!

Look once again, Abner!

What time do you think they'll be here?

Any minute now.

Why don't you try to relax.

I can't relax. I'm scared to death.

Why don't you have something to munch on.

That ought to calm you down.

That's a good idea. Do you have any Indian nuts?

No, I don't think so.

You know, lately I'm crazy about them.

Isn't that ridiculous?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, there they are. Now, you just relax. I'll get it.

Oh, good evening, Mr. Kravitz, Mrs. Kravitz.

Good evening. Mrs. Stephens, do you have a swimming pool?

No. No, we don't.

Are you absolutely sure?

Yes, of course.

Thank you. Good night, Mrs. Stephens.

Good night.

Uh, Gladys.

Gladys?

Oops.

[LAUGHS]

What in the world would make them think

we had a swimming pool?

[VEHICLE APPROACHES]

That's Darrin's car.

Oh, Samantha, what am I gonna do?

Just get hold of yourself.

This is the most important moment of your life.

Louise! Stop fussing. You look gorgeous.

[DOOR RATTLES]

Hello, darling.

Hi there.

Hello.

How are you feeling? I'm just fine.

These are for you.

Oh, thank you.

And so are these.

Hi, Louise. Hi, Louise.

You look lovely.

You certainly do. That's a beautiful dress.

Thank you.

You smell beautiful too.

How about that perfume, Darrin?

It's perfect.

Well, aren't you both nice.

I think I'll go and put these in some water.

I'll help you.

Oh, uh, has anyone noticed how lovely Louise looks?

Certainly did.

You look very pretty, Louise.

I don't smell bad, either. Would you like to try me?

How'd everything go today, darling?

Wonderfully.

I got a little shopping done.

Sure you didn't get too tired?

No, no, not at all. I feel wonderful.

Are you all right?

Oh, I'm fine.

We're both fine.

That's fine.

Who's for a martini?

Great idea.

I'll have one.

Me too.

You think you ought to, Samantha?

Sure. Why not?

Well, I mean, maybe...

Uh, maybe it'll spoil your appetite.

Oh, nothing can spoil my appetite.

Well, all right, but just one. A little one.

I'll have one.

Here you are, Samantha.

Oh, thank you.

I'll take this with me, and I'll check on dinner.

I'll carry it for you, sweetheart.

It isn't heavy.

Well, uh, I like to make things easier

for you whenever I can.

Oh.

I'll have one.

Larry, I'd like a drink.

All you have to do is ask.

New dress?

Yes. You like it?

I might. How much did it cost?

Not very much.

I'm crazy about it.

Here you are.

A little tight, isn't it?

Tight?

Oh, well...

Larry, I'd like to talk to you.

Well?

Larry, you're not an old man.

You're a very young man, really.

What are you talking about?

Well, what I mean is...

it's not too late.

Too late? For what?

Well, it's not too late for an old man

who really isn't old to be a young man.

Really.

Are you sick or something?

No, I'm not sick, but I want another martini.

Phew.

I've never seen you down one that fast before.

You better take it easy.

I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

I was thinking about your weight.

What about my weight?

Well, martinis are fattening.

Two of them?

It all adds up.

You know, I've been noticing,

lately you're getting a little thicker in the waist.

I am?

It's nothing to get panicky about,

but you could try a little exercise during the day.

You know, pushups or knee bends or something.

I can't do that, Larry.

Why not?

I'm going to have...

Dinner's on the table.

Come and get it, Louise, Larry.

Okay. Going to have what?

You're going to have what?

I'm going to have... dinner.

Louise.

There you are, sweetheart.

Thank you, darling. Aren't you sweet?

DARRIN: Comfortable?

SAMANTHA: I certainly am.

Now, you all better eat before this gets cold.

LARRY: It smells marvelous.

Here, Louise.

Louise?

Well, what's wrong? Aren't you hungry?

Larry, I have something to say, and I'm going to say it.

Is something wrong, Louise?

I only meant it as a joke.

Good girl, Louise!

Well, what is it?

This morning, Samantha and I

went downtown to see a doctor.

[THUMPS UNDER TABLE]

Ooh!

What happened?

He kicked me!

I'm sorry. M-my foot slipped.

It was an accident.

Go ahead, Louise.

We went to see Dr. Bricey. And, Larry, you know what?

Yes, I know what. You can't keep your mouth shut, that's what.

Larry!

Well, I'm sorry.

I know you were at Dr. Bricey's. I saw you.

You mean you know?

Of course I know.

Don't be angry, Larry. It's made me very happy.

I was hoping you'd feel the same way.

I do. I think it's marvelous.

But I also think

that Samantha should be the one to tell Darrin.

It's all right with me. Go ahead, Samantha.

You sure?

Go on. Tell him.

All right.

Darrin?

Yes, dear?

Louise is gonna have a baby!

Who?

Congratulations, Darrin,

you lucky son of a gun!

No two people in the world are dearer to me

than you and Louise.

And now there's going to be...

Louise?

Louise?

Louise!

You?

After all this time?

I'm sorry, Larry.

What do you mean, sorry? I think it's wonderful.

How do you feel?

My leg is killing me.

I just can't understand why it took you so long to tell me.

Well, I didn't know how you'd feel about it.

Great! That's how I feel about it.

Just great!

You thought it was me.

I sure did.

That isn't all I thought.

Oh? What else?

It's not important.

Samantha, when we do have a child,

what sort of child do you suppose it'll be?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Oh, I know it'll be a boy or a girl...

Won't it?

Oh, I imagine.

A boy or a girl... what?

I don't know.

I just hope it'll be a happy child,

with your eyes and your hair,

and it would be nice if it had my...

[♪♪♪]

[DIVING BOARD CREAKING]

[WATER SPLASHING]

[WHIMPERING]

[♪♪♪]