Original subtitles

Hi, Darrin.

Hi, Larry. All set for your trip?

Mm-hm. Leave tonight.

Be in London tomorrow morning, Paris tomorrow night.

I'm afraid that's one of the disadvantages

of having a top designer for a client.

Mm-hm.

I'd like to get out of it,

but I figure it's good business

to go and look at his spring collection.

Yeah, it's tough having to go to dull places

like London and Paris.

Oh, this is no pleasure trip, especially this year.

My wife insists on coming with me.

Look, if you're that much against the trip,

why don't you send me instead?

Darrin, you're my best friend.

I wouldn't send my worst enemy on a trip with Louise.

So I know you won't mind.

I had a feeling you were leading up to something.

I do have a few loose ends that need looking after

and I wondered if you could take care of them while I'm gone.

If you're going to be slaving away in Paris,

it's the least I could do.

Now, Susan.

Well, au revoir.

And tour jeté... I think.

[♪♪♪]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

DARRIN: Honey, I'm afraid I won't be able

to take you to dinner tonight.

Larry just dumped a load of urgent work on my desk.

Oh, well...

That's all right, darling.

Maybe tomorrow?

Better not make any plans, Sam.

I'm afraid you're going to have to amuse yourself

for the next few days.

Bye, darling.

[GUNFIRE]

[ROMANTIC THEME PLAYING]

ENDORA: Red queen on the black king.

Oh, thank you.

Mother!

Oh, am I glad to see you!

What's wrong?

Can't I be glad to see my own mother

without something being wrong?

Oh, really?

Bored, eh?

I knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

It's not that.

Darrin's been working very hard lately.

I've been sort of lonely, that's all.

I've hardly seen him the last few days.

The situation is obvious, Samantha.

Busy husband, neglected wife

vegetating in front of the telly set.

Finito!

That's what I like about your visits, Mother.

You always bring a ray of sunshine

into my drab existence.

That's what mothers are for, dear.

You just say the word

and I'll take you away from all of this.

Good idea!

Really?

But only for lunch.

Well, at least that's a start.

Well, where would you like to go?

We can go to the cozy Have-a-Snack.

It's nothing fancy, but it's not far from here.

The cozy Have-a-Snack?

Oh, darling, you've got to be kidding.

We can go to a restaurant in town if you like.

I have a better idea.

I know of a marvelous little bistro

that serves the most divine cheese soufflé.

Sounds wonderful. Where is it?

On the Left Bank.

Left bank of what?

Of Paris.

Where did you think? The left bank of Flushing?

Paris. We can't go there.

Why not?

Mother, you know very well

Darrin doesn't like me to do those things.

Oh, well. It's a pity.

Paris is so lovely this time of year.

Remember?

Yes, I remember.

Oh, the trees are budding in the Champs Élysées.

The sidewalk cafés are crowded with people.

The children are playing in the Bois de Boulogne.

No, Mother.

Oh, you'll be back

before he gets home for dinner.

He's not coming home for dinner.

Oh, well, then, really, Samantha.

You are being ridiculous.

I'm trying to be a good wife.

Well, aren't good wives allowed

to have lunch with their mothers?

Of course they are.

Well, what difference does it make

where they have it?

It's not that at all.

Well, I suppose you mean now that you're married

what was once between us is no more?

All right, Mother.

We will go.

Wonderful!

But we can't be too long.

Is that understood?

Understood.

Last one to the boulevard St-Germain

is a rotten egg.

That's my gal!

[LAUGHS]

Isn't quite the same.

No. He had to.

Mesdames?

Oh, deux cafés, s'il vous plaît.

Oui, madame. C'est tout?

Une demi-tasse pour moi, s'il vous plaît.

Bien, madame. Merci.

Well, I think it's been a divine lunch, hasn't it?

Just marvelous.

But I remember the salade niçoise

as being a little better the last time we were here.

When were we here last, anyway?

Two or three years ago, I think.

That summer you and I spent

a couple of weeks on the Italian riviera.

La Spezia, I believe.

Yes, I remember.

No, it wasn't La Spezia. It was Portofino.

Oh, yes! The count from Genoa!

Lord Fredo. Of course!

Oh, followed you all over Italy.

"Fly with me to the moon, Endora,"

he used to say.

[LAUGHS]

Finally, one night I agreed.

Poor chap, he had a nervous breakdown.

We were only halfway there.

Oh, we have had good times, haven't we?

Yes, we have.

Don't you sometimes miss all this, Samantha?

Not really.

I have other things that make up for it.

Like a snappy game of solitaire?

Topped off by a gourmet lunch at the cozy Have-a-Snack?

Now, let's not go into that again.

By all means let's not.

Come on. On to the fashion show.

No fashion shows.

I left a whole pile of laundry on the ironing board.

Oh, now, Samantha, no woman, witch nor mortal,

ever visits Paris or leaves without buying a dress.

It would be a betrayal of our whole sex.

Let's go. Ah!

Larry, can you imagine

how sensational I'd look in that dress?

Well, the packaging can only do so much for a product, dear.

Oh, you, always thinking of business.

Oh, Mother.

Isn't that beautiful?

Oh, yes. You'd look marvelous in a dress like that, Samantha.

Oh, if I ever walked in in a dress like that

Darrin's eyeballs would fall right out of his head.

I doubt if he'd know a Dior from a gunnysack.

Mother, that's not very nice.

Come on, let's find a seat.

Mother! What?

Let's get out of here. Why?

Never mind. I'll explain later. Come on.

Samantha?

Samantha?

Hi.

It is you.

I thought it was you

but I couldn't be sure.

Oh, what a surprise.

Wait till Louise sees you. Come on over.

[LAUGHS]

Louise, look who's here.

Samantha. Samantha Stephens!

What on earth are you doing in Paris?

Hello, Louise.

Oh, I just flew in.

LARRY: Look at her face.

Absolutely stunned!

Quite a surprise seeing us, eh?

Oh, yes. You're the last people I wanted...

Expected to see.

I don't believe we've met your charming companion.

Who?

Oh.

Oh, this is my mother.

This is Larry Tate and Louise Tate.

How do you do?

Mr. Tate is Darrin's employer.

Oh, really? Isn't that amusing?

That we should bump into each other.

Oh.

Darrin didn't say anything

about you coming to Paris.

Oh, well, he's been working a lot lately

and I've been more or less alone,

so of course when Mother...

I convinced Samantha to make the trip with me.

Yes. It all happened very suddenly.

Just like... that.

Well, we're going to have to celebrate.

Celebrate?

Sure! Make a night of it.

A night of it?

Uh, no.

I mean, I don't think

I can.

Oh, now, Samantha, no excuses.

LARRY: That's right.

Darrin would never forgive us

if we didn't take care of you while you were here.

Now, where can we pick you up?

Well, I-I think it might be easier

if we met at your place.

All right. The Plaza Athenée.

How would you like to pop in about 8:30?

I'd love it.

[LOUISE LAUGHS]

Well, I think it's absolutely wonderful of you

to get Darrin to let you come to Paris without him.

Samantha? Hmm?

Oh, yes, it was.

What did you do to get him to agree?

Well, we really didn't talk about it that much.

Did you hear that, Larry?

It took me eight years

to get you to bring me to Paris,

but they didn't even talk about it that much.

Well, neither did we.

I can remember weeks when we didn't talk at all.

Would you excuse me for a moment?

Of course.

Would you like company? Oh, no.

I mean, well, that's very sweet of you,

but your dinner might get cold,

and, well, I'll be back in a second.

Samantha doesn't seem quite herself tonight, does she?

Oh, for goodness sakes, Larry.

She's still a bride,

and this is her first separation.

Isn't that right, Endora?

I imagine she's very lonesome for Donald.

Who?

I beg your pardon?

You mean Darrin.

Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

I've got a great idea.

Let's phone Darrin

and tell him what's happened.

Marvelous! Isn't that a wonderful idea, Endora?

No, I wouldn't do that. Why not?

Oh, I don't know.

Change of time, the hour, you know?

Well, it's early back there.

Garçon!

I'll get a telephone right here on the table.

It'll put Darrin's mind at ease

when he knows we're taking care of you two.

Won't he be surprised?

Oh, he'll be surprised all right.

Darrin?

I was wondering how late

you're gonna have to work tonight.

Pretty late, I'm afraid, honey.

Bear with me another day, huh?

I should have the work cleaned up by then.

Oh, I understand, dear.

Thank you, darling.

What have you been up to today?

Me?

Well, nothing much.

I've been... looking at a few dresses.

You sound funny. Is something wrong?

Wrong? No, no, of course not.

I just...

I miss you, darling.

Look, to heck with work.

I'm gonna come on home.

No, no, no. Now, don't do that.

It's important that you finish your work.

I'll see you later.

Goodbye.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Hello? Who's this?

This is Samantha.

Samantha?

Yes. Who's this?

OPERATOR: Is this 555-7328?

Yes, it is.

A Mr. Larry Tate is calling you from Paris, France.

Oops.

Operator, did you get me the right number?

OPERATOR: We are checking that number, monsieur.

What's the matter?

I could have sworn it was Samantha.

It hardly seems possible.

I know it, but when I asked her who it was,

she said Samantha.

At least, I thought she said Samantha.

Oh, they just gave you the wrong number.

I'm sorry, monsieur, your number

is now reported not to answer at all.

Oh, thank you, operator.

Oh, hold on a moment, will you?

You know, come to think of it,

considering the difference in time

and all the work I left him,

Darrin's probably still at the office.

I'll place a call there.

Operator, would you please try to get me

555-6059?

That's it, operator. Thank you.

Larry just thought he spoke to you on the phone.

Me?

[LAUGHS]

We have a surprise for you, haven't we?

Oh, yes. A beauty.

Hello?

Hello, Darrin?

Hey, boy.

This is Larry Tate, calling from Paris.

Oh, Larry, how are you?

Fine! Have I got a surprise for you.

You'll never guess who's sitting next to me right here in Paris!

Samantha!

Wait, wait!

Go on. Talk to your husband.

He's all yours!

Go on, Samantha! Darrin's on the other end.

Oh, Sam!

How? Where are you?

Darrin?

Oh, hi, darling. It's Samantha.

S-Sam? How did you...? When did...?

Oh, yes, I'm having a wonderful time!

Sam, when...? How...?

Who...?

Well, I just can't wait to get home

and tell you all about my trip.

Trip? Trip to...?

Where are you right...?

I love you too, sweetheart.

Goodbye!

Sam?

Well, was he surprised?

Oh, yes. He was surprised.

I bet that just about made his day.

Just about.

Yes.

I'm sorry, darling. I got home as soon as I could.

That's all right. That's all right.

I needed time to work things out.

You look lovely.

Well, it's just a little something...

Well, you see, we had dinner with the Tates.

Mm-hm.

You're not angry with me?

Angry? How can I be angry?

I don't understand.

I added things up,

then I stood back, took a look at the total.

Saving three cents a can on waxed beans is, well...

What kind of a thrill is that for someone like you?

Darrin, have you been drinking?

Your mother is right.

You have been drinking!

Just enough for me to see things

in their proper perspective.

You can't expect to snatch an eagle out of the sky,

tie it to the ground, clip its wings

and expect it to walk around with a smile on its beak.

Please let me explain.

Well, there's no need to explain.

I understand perfectly.

I'm sorry about what happened today.

No one can blame you for that.

This is a poor swap for Europe, glamour and gaiety.

All I want is the normal life

of the normal housewife.

That's why you went to Paris.

I only went there for lunch.

Oh, I see. Well, that's normal.

I only did it because...

Well, you've been working so much lately and...

It's my fault, Sam.

There's no need for you to apologize.

I should have known

you can't take a beautiful witch

in the prime of her life

and expect her to hang up her twitch.

It's against nature.

Darrin?

What are you trying to say?

I'm saying it's time for complete honesty.

I'm not going to stand in the way of your freedom,

and that's obviously what you want.

That's not true.

And stop trying to spare my feelings.

If there's anything I can't stand,

it's anyone feeling sorry for me.

Especially when you're doing such a good job of it yourself.

Where are you going?

Back to la dolce vita.

And I hope you're satisfied.

Samantha!

Darrin.

Hi, Larry. You just get in?

A few minutes ago. How are you?

Okay. How's Louise?

Fine. She's still in Paris.

You came back alone?

Louise insisted.

Oh, I fought it for a while to make it look good,

but she said it was so marvelous

how understanding you were about Samantha

the least I could do

was let her stay on a few extra days.

I see.

So they're having a ball.

They?

Louise, Samantha and Endora.

Samantha's with Louise?

Sure. Didn't you know?

Oh, sure. I mean, well, she didn't say.

Haven't you talked to her?

Well, of course, but it's been a couple of days.

Mm-hm.

Then Louise was right.

You two did have a beef.

No, of course not. It was nothing like that.

I guess that explains it.

Explains what?

Louise said she'd never seen a girl

working so hard

at having a good time.

Is Samantha really unhappy?

Yes.

Matter of fact, now that I think of it,

I'd say she's downright miserable.

You're not just saying that to make me feel better?

Not at all.

You know, it's never occurred to me

how close Paris is

since the innovation of the jet plane.

Wait a minute. You mean you're going over now?

Why not? I finished up all the work.

I'm entitled to a bonus.

Besides, I miss my wife.

But that has no bearing on...

Would you rather I call Samantha

and insist that she come home immediately?

She and Louise could be here in a matter of hours.

That's blackmail.

Yes, it is, isn't it?

See you Monday, Larry.

Thanks.

The fashions this year were... generally exciting,

particularly the line presented by...

Hello, Larry. Hello, Samantha.

Excuse me for a moment while I...

Samantha!

What are you doing here?

I took the flight right after yours.

I had to come back.

Is Louise with you?

No. She doesn't know I've left yet.

Good.

That is, there's no sense

in Louise having to cut her holiday short

because you two lovebirds are having problems.

Where is Darrin? He wasn't in his office.

Oh. Oh, well, he's probably...

Darrin?

Oh, for heaven's sake.

He's on his way to Paris to find you.

Really?

Yes. He left about an hour ago.

Thank you, Larry. I'll see you later.

[SCREAMS]

He's not on this one either.

Well, you'll have to check

several dozen flights, Samantha.

Why don't you go to Paris and wait for him?

No, this may sound silly to you,

but I miss him so much.

I'll check that one down there.

Now, if he's not on board that,

we'll just go on to Paris.

Samantha!

What is it, Mr. Stephens?

My wife's out there!

What?

I-I mean...

I mean, I was thinking about my wife,

and I thought I saw her out there.

You see, she's in Paris.

I'm on my way to meet her.

Oh, yes, of course. I understand.

I'm sorry.

I was asleep. I was probably dreaming.

Well, that's quite all right.

Would you care for your dinner now?

Yes. Thank you. Certainly.

Samantha!

Hello, sweetheart.

You scared me to death.

Oh, I'm sorry, but I just couldn't wait to see you.

I'm sorry about the other night.

Please try to understand how I feel.

I do understand,

and you don't have to explain anymore.

I just want you to know how lucky I think I am.

Thank you, darling.

Are you sure you wouldn't like to just go back home?

From here?

We can, you know.

Nothing doing.

My nervous system has suffered

enough trauma for one day, thank you.

All right.

Anyway, it'll be fun seeing Paris for the first time.

What do you mean? You've been there before.

Never with you.

And being in Paris with someone you love

is like being in Paris for the first time.

When we arrive,

I wouldn't be at all surprised

if Louise calls Larry

and asks him to come back right away.

You think so?

I know it.

Larry will never forgive me.

It's the only way to fly.

[♪♪♪]