Original subtitles

- Randy?

- Yeah, that's me.

- Sorry, I was late, my GPS. - Don't sweat it, it's okay.

- Ah, 12.99.

- Gotcha.

- I'm sorry, I-I can't break this.

- It's all right, it's all you.

- [Alex] Thanks.

- Of course.

- Ah, enjoy the Hawaiian pizza, it's-it's my favorite.

I know, I'm sorry.

- Really?

- [Alex] Yeah.

- Do you wanna maybe come in, have some?

- I can't.

- Sure?

- Yeah, I'm supposed to see my dad.

(Randy laughing) Yeah, bye.

- See you.

(door thudding)

(phone ringing)

- [Jack] Alex, it's Jack, you forgot another pizza again.

I had to have one of the other guys deliver it

and it was 20 minutes late.

Guess who's paying for that motherfucking pizza?

You, I'm docking your pay, I told you a dozen times

to check the tickets before you leave.

(gentle melodic music)

(drawer thudding)

- Hey.

- Hey.

- [Gracie] Are you there yet?

- I'm outside.

- You can do this, Alex.

- This isn't gonna work.

- Maybe he's changed.

- [Alex] Gracie, not my dad.

- Well, you changed.

- Because I got sober.

He's just an angry,

drunk, old man.

Would you eat that fucking candy bar already?

- I'm stressed, okay. - Would you stop?

You're an amazing artist

and your first show's gonna be great.

- I hope you're right.

I've got two weeks and I don't feel ready.

Oh, my boss's husband is coming, he's a music manager

and I told him all about you.

- You're always looking out for me.

- [Gracie] I got you, boo.

- I really don't wanna do this.

- You know, you once told me

everyone deserves a second chance and I gave you one, right?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Talk to your sponsor.

- You told her to call me?

- Love you.

(phone ringing)

- You hate video calls.

- Oh, I know.

I'm just checking on you, honey, you okay?

- No.

- Alex, I want you to think back a year ago.

If it helps you stay sober, it's worth it.

You've been mad at your father your whole life.

You need to talk to him, tell him what he did wrong.

He may not change, but you will.

- Ronnie, you ever been this angry?

- (laughing) Oh, yeah,

so angry

at myself, (gentle melodic music)

but I had to let it go if I wanted to stay sober.

- Okay, so I stay sober, then what?

- And then you're free.

Alex, your father made your life hell,

but if you can think of him as sick, instead of bad,

the shift in your perception might be the miracle you need.

- I'll call you after.

- I love you. - Love you too.

(TV static hissing)

Dad.

Dad.

Hello? (knocking)

(door clicking) Dad.

Dad.

Hello.

(faucet water running)

Dad.

You home?

(Alex vomiting)

(police radio broadcasting quietly)

- Detective Braden Cole, Slowsburgh County.

Mind if I ask you a few questions?

- Yeah, sure.

- [Braden] You live here with your dad?

- No, um, actually I haven't seen him in a while.

- Why?

- We weren't that close?

- I see.

What were you doing here today?

- I don't have to tell you that.

- Alex, just tell her.

He was coming up to talk to his dad to work things out.

- Alex is sober, Detective, almost one year.

The time apart from his dad, he needed it to heal.

- I see.

- I didn't kill my father.

- I never said you did, can you think of a reason

why someone would do this to your dad, anger anyone?

- No, he was, he was kind of a loner.

- If you think of anything, here's my number.

- Thank you.

- I might have a few more questions later on too.

I'm sorry for your loss.

♪ I was wondering what you thought ♪

- How you doing?

- Just,

who would do this?

Why?

- There are a lot of really sick people in this world.

- Nothing was stolen, it just, it doesn't make sense.

- Did he have any enemies?

- No, didn't have any friends either.

Why do I miss him?

- He was your dad, Alex.

It's okay that you loved him.

- I don't know what to do. (sighing)

- Honey.

(soft melodic music)

- I can't believe this house is mine.

- Yeah, along with the mortgage and the unpaid bills,

seems your dad was falling a little behind, honey.

- How much?

- Almost $5.000 and I'm not even done

going through everything yet.

- Well, sell his car.

- You'd be lucky if you got $500 for that old wreck,

but you could sell the house though.

- It's probably worth a lot.

You could pay off the mortgage and keep the rest.

- I don't wanna sell the house.

- Well, where are you gonna get five grand?

- I don't know. - And how are you gonna

pay the mortgage, delivering pizzas?

- I'll figure it out.

- Well, don't forget property taxes and insurance.

When something goes wrong, you gotta fix it.

- I'm not selling the house, Ronnie.

- Why not? (Veronica sighing)

- Because when else am I gonna be given a house?

- Well, to be fair, a house is a solid investment.

You can't go wrong with real estate.

- Yeah and with both of us living here,

it'd be half the mortgage, half the bills.

- I do not wanna live here.

- Why not, because my dad was killed here?

- That and it's in Slowsburgh,

I don't wanna drive 45 minutes back and forth

to work every day.

- GJ, it's a huge house

and we live in a dinky, little shithole.

- I love our dinky, little shithole and it's a night.

- So now what?

- Don't worry about me, the house is a big deal, I get it.

Do what you need to do.

- Hey, come here.

You're gonna have to get a roommate, baby.

- No pressure.

- Oh, an artiste.

- Well, I'm just starting. - Don't be modest.

- I am, but if you can come,

it would be a great chance for us to get to know each other.

You are hands down our favorite applicant.

- Stop it. - Hey.

- Ah, can we help you?

- I'm here about the room for rent?

I knocked, but nobody heard me.

- Ah, I don't have anyone else listed.

- I was driving by and I saw the sign out front.

Shane Collins.

- I-I'm Alex.

- Well, I will let you all do your thing.

Come on, Peachy, come on, baby.

Ah, we could always share the room.

(Shane laughing)

Just mull it over.

Bye, y'all.

- Not shy, is he?

- You must be used to it, you know,

what are you, like a, like a model or something?

- (laughing) No, I'm a trainer.

- Nice. - Yeah.

Do you work out?

- Oh, struggling a little bit, if I'm being honest,

but I just need like a little motivation.

- I could help with that.

- [Alex] Yeah?

- Yeah, maybe I could train you sometime.

- Wow, that's like a scary, generous offer.

Thanks. - Yeah.

Can I see the room?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Sure, sure, it's just this way.

(gentle melodic music)

- [Shane] You don't want this room?

- I like my room, besides this was my parents' room

and they, they don't...

- They what?

- They passed away.

- And you don't wanna sleep in their room?

- Yeah. - That makes sense.

Did they pass away together?

- No, ah, my mom died when I was a kid,

cancer and my dad, um,

he had a heart attack.

He died in his sleep though.

- At home?

- No, no, Bear Mountain, he loved it out there.

- That must have been quite a shock.

- Yeah.

- This is beautiful.

Must be a nice having the woods as your backyard.

- Yeah, yeah, totally.

(Gracie clearing throat)

Ah, it is nice.

- [Shane] Is this the bathroom?

- Yeah, feel free to check it out.

(door clicking)

(door thudding)

- Do you believe in cosmic energy?

- I, I don't know, (laughing) what is that?

- (laughing) I don't know.

- Well, when you walk into a room

and someone's sad or angry, you can tell, right?

- Can you tell?

- I can tell.

- Well, that's cosmic energy.

This room has a, a dark history.

Maybe if I move in,

we can figure it out together.

- Or you could just tell him, Alex.

- I was just about to, Gracie.

- Tell me what?

(gentle melodic music)

- My, my dad,

he was a raging alcoholic, like a mean, a mean drunk

and I, I used to drink too mostly to get back at him,

but I don't anymore.

- You guys must've had some fights?

- Yeah.

- Well, that doesn't bother me,

but I appreciate your honesty.

- Sweet.

- So I would pay rent in cash if that's okay?

My clients pay in cash and I don't really trust banks, so.

- Cash works for me.

- Well, it was really nice meeting you, Shane.

We will let you know by the end of the week.

- Yeah. - Listen, Alex,

I like you and I, I like the place.

When it's right, I don't really hesitate,

so I kind of wanna know now if that's okay.

- (clears throat) Alex, can I please talk with you

for one moment in the kitchen?

- Yeah, just, just one second.

- I understand.

Well, have a nice day both of you.

- No. - Thanks.

- GJ. - What?

What is your problem?

- Shane.

- [Gracie] Alex.

- Yeah?

- It's yours.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Cool, oh, last thing,

I'll need a place to set up my workout area.

Not for clients or anything, just for you and me.

- Will the garage work?

- That's perfect.

- Mind if I ask if you do any drugs or drink?

- I don't drink or do drugs, so.

We good?

- Yeah. - We are also asking

for first month's, last and security.

- Of course.

This would be first month,

last month and security.

Ah, I'll see you this weekend?

- Yeah.

Oh, one sec.

(keys jangling)

These will work in all the doors.

- Thanks.

(soft melodic music)

I'll see you around, Gracie.

(door clicking)

(door thudding)

- Freddy was nice.

- So was Shane, I don't know why you don't like him.

- (laughing) Doesn't trust banks

and who carries around that much cash?

- You're overreacting.

- Really, hm, because I searched the internet

for Mr. Pays in Cash and guess what I found?

- What? - Nothing!

No social media, not even a stupid, shirtless pic

and every trainer has that.

- I'm a singer songwriter and I don't have social media,

every singer's got that.

- Yeah and a career, but you don't.

- Hey-o! - Oh, keep?

- Absolutely not.

- Just take my word for it, okay, he's hiding something.

- Hiding what?

- Okay, fine, whatever, just do not hook up with him.

- Okay, like I have a chance.

- You beat yourself up too much.

- Maybe if I start training with Shane,

I'll feel more confident. - Just remember, Alex,

you don't need this guy.

He creeped me out.

- I'll feel safer with a guy like Shane around.

- You know, you could probably get more than 500

for this thing.

(gentle melodic music)

Is that?

(laughing) I haven't seen this in years.

I remember you making this for him at camp.

- Yeah, he used to say, "You're a chip off the old block."

Stupid that he kept it, right?

- No.

It's really sweet.

♪ I need ♪

(soft piano music)

♪ Need a friend ♪

♪ I can take ♪

(door clicking)

♪ You there ♪

Fuck!

- Relax, it'll come.

- I didn't hear you come in, sorry.

- I didn't wanna interrupt.

- No problem, ah, can I help you

with the rest of your things?

- Ah, this is pretty much it.

I got some workout stuff in the truck.

- Oh, you must've got rid of a lot of stuff,

that didn't spark joy.

- Spark joy?

- The lady on the TV, Marie something.

- I'd like to get the gym set up in the garage,

so I can work out later.

- For sure, sure, can I help?

- Do you have a mirror?

(soft tense music)

(chain rattling)

- How's this?

- Yeah, that's good. - Yeah.

- [Shane] Put it up against the wall over there.

- Sure.

- Was that one of your songs you were writing?

- Trying to, I got stuck.

- Do you sell any of your songs?

- No, not yet, at least, um, I've really gotta get myself

out there more a little bit and-

- What's stopping you?

- I want them to be good enough.

- I see.

(Velcro crunching)

- [Alex] Is this all the stuff you use?

- I run once in a while.

Sometimes I go to the gym, but I don't like the gym,

too many people sitting on their phones,

wasting time at machines.

- I have a gym membership, but I don't, I don't really go.

- That's a waste of money.

- [Alex] I suppose.

- No, you don't suppose, if you know something, say it,

say yes or no.

- Yes, I guess.

Yes, having a gym membership is a waste of money,

if you, if you don't go.

- There you go. - Okay.

- Is that so hard?

Not owning up to it is worse than not going.

(blows thudding)

- Wow, intense.

- You wanna try?

- No, no, I don't, I don't, I don't think so.

- Come on.

(soft tense music)

Put these on.

(Velcro crunching) This one.

- Okay.

I, I don't think they fit actually.

- I think they do, other hand.

(Velcro crunching)

Halloween.

All right, first we're gonna get you in your fighter stance.

All right, what are you, right-handed, left-handed?

- Right-handed.

- Okay, so put your right leg back, put your hands up.

Guard your chin, tuck your elbows.

There you go.

That's your fighter stance.

- I feel that. - All right.

- Okay.

- Give it a shot. - Okay.

(soft tense music)

(blow thudding lightly)

Oh. (laughing) - Try again.

(blow thudding lightly)

Common mistake.

You don't push the bag, you hit the bag.

All right, use your weight and extend your arm all the way.

- Okay. - Go again.

(blows thudding lightly)

(Alex groaning) Better.

(blow thudding lightly)

Go again.

(phone ringing) - Oh.

My bad. (Velcro crunching)

- [Gracie] Did your fantasy man arrive? (laughing)

- Hello, Gracie. - Sorry.

Hi, Shane.

- Gracie, we're in the middle of something,

Alex will call you back.

- [Gracie] Alex, I need one more painting for my show

and I can't decide if- - Ah, GJ,

I'm gonna call you back.

- [Gracie] Fine, whatever.

- Okay.

- When we're here, don't answer your phone.

Be present.

- Okay, all right, I didn't know the rules.

- Now you do.

(soft tense music)

- I'll go again. - Good.

- Okay.

(blows thudding lightly)

- There you go, Alex.

(blows thudding lightly)

Okay, okay.

- Okay.

- Don't worry, it takes practice.

We'll make a fighter out of you yet.

(melodic rock music) (blows thudding)

All right, rotate more.

(blows thudding)

Not bad.

Not bad, but remember, the other guy's not stopping.

What are you gonna do?

- Ask for time out.

- All right, smart ass, 45 more seconds,

then we'll take a break 'til tonight.

(blows thudding) (Alex breathing heavily)

Go on.

There you go.

(soft melodic music)

(door thudding)

(phone ringing) (Alex groaning)

(Alex groaning)

- Hope that was your last 10?

- Sadly, no. (breathing heavily)

- [Shane] Get up.

- [Alex] What are you doing?

- Give me your hand.

- Where were you?

- Don't worry about it.

One thing I notice about you, Alex, you have pent up anger,

you learn to control that or it controls you.

- What makes you think I'm angry?

- Why, do you think you hide it?

- [Alex] I'm supposed to be meditating,

Veronica says- - That's not gonna help.

- Well, what about Paul McCartney, Madonna, Oprah?

I mean, a lot of- - If you wanna sit there

and listen to yourself breathe, go for it.

But that comes after you fight for what you want.

Punch hard, don't stop.

Go.

(blows thudding)

Why do you let your little girlfriend Gracie run your life?

Don't stop.

- She's just looking out for me.

- No, she's trying to control you,

'cause you're her little fixer upper.

- She's a good friend, okay.

- She's just sorry for you, Alex,

but you don't mind, you like the companionship

and you don't wanna be alone.

(blow thudding)

- I don't wanna do this with you, okay.

- Alex.

I'm trying to help you. - Help what?

No, I'm fine.

- You're fine? - Yeah.

- You dream about guys, you dream about songwriting,

but all you do is dream, you never do anything.

You know what, it's your life, spend it how you want.

- Hey,

you're not wrong.

- Do you wanna know why I train?

(soft melodic music)

You're in the mirror, you're forced to face yourself.

No lies, no excuses.

Look hard at yourself, Alex,

you wanna know what I see?

Fear.

Something happened to you.

- What if it did?

- The past is the past, Alex,

do something about it and you move on.

- It's not that easy and you don't know everything, okay.

- I know you're afraid of sex.

- What?

- Intimacy?

- I-I've never been comfortable with it.

(soft tense music)

- Do you want me to show you?

- [Alex] What?

- I've seen the way you look at me.

- Oh, if you're going off what Gracie said.

- Don't lie to me, Alex.

- I'm-I'm embarrassed, okay.

- Don't ever be embarrassed of wanting somebody,

being honest about it.

- I freeze up or I don't, I don't know what to do

around guys, I-I.

- Do you want my help?

- I don't know.

- This has got to come from you, Alex.

- [Alex] You mean with sex stuff?

- With anything you want.

(soft tense music)

If you want my help, Alex,

say it.

- I, I want your help.

(soft tense music)

- You're trembling.

- I'm sorry, I'm-I'm a little nervous.

- [Shane] You don't need to be.

- Ow!

- That keeps you present,

you don't think about anything else.

- Okay.

(soft tense music)

- Try to get up.

- Like, like wrestle you?

- Try to take control.

(soft tense music)

Try harder.

- I can't, you're too strong.

- Stop making excuses.

Come on.

(soft tense music)

Ready for more?

Someone's getting excited.

(soft tense music)

(Alex coughing)

(hand slapping) Fight, come on.

Come on, fight.

(soft tense music)

Come on. (Alex choking)

Fight me, Alex.

- What the fuck, man, you trying to kill me?

(upbeat rock music)

(blows thudding) (upbeat rock music)

(upbeat rock music)

- I showed up drunk to my son,

Ethan's high school talent show,

not even sure how I got there.

After the show, Ethan wouldn't speak to me.

He grabbed the car keys out of my hand

and he drove us home.

He was 16.

On our way home, we were hit by a drunk driver

on his side of the car.

That shouldn't have happened,

he had his whole life in front of him,

but because of me, it was cut short.

After that, my life fell apart.

Soon after, I went to a meeting,

after the meeting, a woman walked up to me

and she asked what was wrong

and I told her and she said,

I'm not responsible for my disease of alcoholism,

but I am responsible for my recovery.

I think about my Ethan every single day, (sobbing)

my living amends to my son

is my sobriety

and I would like to think

that Ethan

would be proud of the woman that I am today.

Thank you for letting me share.

(group applauding)

- Thank you for sharing so honestly, Veronica.

We like to celebrate milestones at this meeting

for every 365 days of continuous sobriety.

Tonight, we have one birthday,

Alex for one year

and for that, Gracie and Veronica will give you your cake.

(group applauding)

Come on.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Alex ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Keep coming back ♪

(Veronica laughing)

(group applauding)

- [Alex] Hi, I'm Alex, I'm an alcoholic.

- [All] Hi, Alex.

(Veronica laughing)

- I'm serious.

I'm serious.

(Veronica laughing)

- Brent?

- Yeah, I think I got a shot.

- So if someone like Brent or Shane likes you,

that's enough for validation?

- Is wanting to be liked a bad thing?

- God loves you, honey, that's why we have God,

because people won't always be around.

- Come on, Ronnie, don't you ever get lonely?

- (laughing) Do I get lonely?

But with God, I'm not alone, that's the difference.

- Hey, you two.

- Listen, thanks for sticking around for my one year.

- You know I wouldn't miss it, but we do have to go,

so I just wanna say congratulations

and sorry about your dad. - Thanks.

Hey, listen, if you, ah, if you wanna take in a meeting

or like, like dinner or something?

- Yeah, I'll text you tomorrow, that was good.

- Yeah. - Good seeing you, Brent.

- Bye, Brent.

(hand patting) (Gracie laughing)

Did you just ask him out?

- Sort of.

- Not really. (laughing)

- Mm-hm, yeah, it sounds about right.

- GJ. - Yeah.

- You think I like, I'm gonna like hold you back

from like meeting people or something?

- What? - I don't know.

- Where did that come from?

- [Alex] I just don't wanna hold you back.

- Can I talk to Alex for a sec?

(clears throat) Hello.

- Ah, Gracie, why don't you help me clean up?

- Sure,

sure and we will finish this later.

- Okay.

- [Shane] Isn't that the guy you told me about?

- [Alex] Brent, yeah.

- You just stood here and watched.

- [Alex] What am I supposed to do?

- Tell him not to leave.

- Then what? - Anything.

Tell him you wanna wrestle for top, I don't care.

- Come on, if I said that, he would laugh in my face.

- Why do you think that?

- Because I'm not you.

I don't look like you, I don't talk like you, come on.

Why do you care?

- Alex, you take your shot.

You don't let anyone steal that shot away from you.

That's the main difference between you and me,

(soft tense music) I'm not afraid.

- I don't wanna be afraid anymore.

- You act strong, you feel strong.

You act weak, you feel weak.

- Shane, this looks heavy.

- This isn't about lifting weights.

This is about whether or not you have the strength

to step out of your comfort zone.

You've been comfortable for too long, Alex.

- How do you know me so well?

- I used to be you.

Now let's do this.

(background rock music)

- Here? - Yep, there.

(metal clanking) - Argh!

Fuck! - Push.

- I am!

- I'm not helping you. - I know.

- Get angry.

- Trying.

- Push it.

(Alex groaning) Come on, Alex.

Alex, think of a time you were so angry,

you wanted to put your fist through a wall,

tap into that right now.

- Ah, motherfuck, argh! - Push!

(metal clanking) - Ah!

Fuck!

Shit.

- Good job, you did good.

(phone ringing)

- Sorry, it's my boss,

probably gonna tell me off for some shit.

- Quit.

- What? (phone ringing)

- People like your boss get away with it,

because people like you put up with it.

- Hey, Jack.

- [Jack] Hey, Alex, glad I got you.

You're working Sunday, starting next week

and it's a busy day, so no fuck ups.

(soft tense music)

- Jack, you can't talk to me like that, man.

- [Jack] Stop fucking up and I won't.

- Yo, I quit, how about that?

- [Jack] You're making a big mistake, Alex.

- Yeah, go fuck yourself, jag off.

(phone clattering)

- Feels good, doesn't it?

- Yeah.

(soft melodic music)

- Do you have that guy's number?

- Who, Brent?

- I don't know, the guy that you were talking to

at your party. - Brent, yeah.

- I want you to invite him to one of your meetings,

then when you see him, you tell him you're taking him out.

You don't ask him over the phone, you got it?

- Yeah.

- Good.

Tell me, Alex, how did you choose your sponsor?

- Veronica?

She was a, a speaker at one of my first meetings.

I don't know, I just, I liked her, she was kind to me.

Why?

- Because she's not like you.

You were abused and you couldn't deal with your anger

because of that, so you drank.

- Yeah, I guess.

- And sex sucks, because you're afraid of men thanks to Dad,

am I right?

- What does this have to do with Ronnie?

- She enables your fear of men.

- She's a good sponsor, okay.

- Maybe.

- Look, Gracie's gonna be here soon, so I gotta get dressed.

Thanks for the shake.

(door thudding)

(Braden knocking)

- I'll get it.

(shower running)

(Braden knocking)

(door clicking)

Can I help you?

- Detective Cole, Slowsburgh County,

looking for Alex Romero.

- Alex isn't here right now.

Anything that I can help you with?

- [Braden] You live here?

- Yeah, I'm his new roommate, I just moved in recently.

- Just had some questions to ask

about the murder of his father.

- Murder?

Here?

- [Braden] Yeah.

- Wow.

I, I had no idea.

- Do you know when Alex will be back?

- Sorry, I, I don't, he left with a friend.

- Okay, well, just tell him that I was here.

He has my number.

- Of course, yeah.

- I hope I didn't give you any cause for concern.

- I'm not worried, but I'll keep my eyes open for you.

- Sure, right.

Appreciate it.

(door thudding)

- Who was it?

- I was reading that recovery book you all subscribe to.

- Ah, big book.

Who was at the door?

- It says a lot about being honest,

rigorously honest, I think it says.

- Yeah, so?

- So get honest with me, Alex,

right now.

Or should I ask Detective Cole?

- Shane.

I'm, I'm sorry, I should've told you.

- And Veronica knew about this?

- Yeah.

- And Gracie? - Yeah.

Look, they wanted me to tell you the truth,

but I, I didn't wanna lose you.

Come on, don't do this, Shane, say something.

Do something.

Hit me.

Come on, hit me, I deserve it, hit me, go ahead.

(Alex gasping sharply)

- I'm the only honest person in your life.

(door thudding)

- (sighing) I hate to say I told you so,

but you should have told him.

- I get it, now what's the deal with tomorrow night again?

- The gallery closes at eight,

we reopen for the show at nine and it's over at 10,

so you don't have to worry about it being all night.

- Who said I was worried?

- Huh?

My boss's husband is coming

and I want you to make a good impression.

- Should I get a tux? (soft guitar music)

- (laughing) No, I know you've got something in here.

Yeah, yeah, a button down and jeans,

that look like you didn't run over them is enough.

You really need a music manager, Alex.

- You're too good to me.

- But I know, but I want this for you, okay.

So this,

these and this,

only, nothing else, okay, I gotta go.

- Give me a kiss.

- Love you. - Love you too.

(soft tense music)

- Hi, Shane.

Bye, Shane.

- [Alex] What?

- She's picking out your clothes now?

What, is she gonna dress you too?

- Do we have to do this right now, Shane?

Look, Shane, I'm sorry that I lied to you.

(hand slapping)

(soft tense music)

Stop.

- (hand slapping) Do something about it, Alex.

(hand slapping) Come on, Alex.

(hand slapping) Fight me.

- I don't feel like- (hand slapping)

- What if I do?

What if I was the guy who broke in here?

What if I was gonna hurt you?

Would you whine like a little bitch?

Think that would help?

- Why you doing this?

- Because the world isn't nice, Alex.

You wanted honesty, right?

Courage to change.

(soft melodic music)

- [All] The courage to change the things we can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

- Thank you all, have a good night.

- Goodnight. - Thank you.

Thank you, drive safe please.

Have a good night.

- Hey. - Oh, hi, what's up?

- What's going on?

Feel like grabbing dinner?

- Ah, right now? - Sure, why not?

- Yeah, sure, let's do it.

- I'll drive.

(Shane knocking)

(Dale clears throat)

(door clicking)

- [Dale] Hi, Peter?

- Yeah, Dale?

(glass clinking) (alcohol pouring)

(background classical music)

- Wow.

Um, you look great.

(both laughing)

- Thanks. - Yeah.

Um, I-I, I was a little afraid, you know,

faceless pic and all.

- The internet and faces these days, you get it.

- Oh, do you want a drink?

- No, thanks.

- [Dale] You mind if I have one?

- Yeah, go ahead.

(glass clinking)

First time jitters?

(Dale laughing nervously)

- [Dale] Yeah, is it that obvious?

- Don't worry about it.

- Thanks. (ice cubes clanking)

I just um, wasn't too sure how this all works.

Do we, um?

- We can just talk, while you have your drink,

give you a chance to relax.

- [Dale] Sounds good to me.

(background classical music)

- Nice fire you have going here.

- Hm.

So what do we talk about?

- Tell me about yourself.

- [Dale] Ah, like what?

- Well, you like Shakespeare?

- Um, (laughing) yeah,

"The Tempest" is a favorite.

- "Tempest?"

What made you find me?

- Well, um,

I haven't been with anyone in a while.

- Must be difficult to meet people,

when you're on the Sex Offender List.

- You know about that?

- I check every address I go to.

I should, shouldn't I?

- Oh, absolutely.

- Yeah.

I did some digging online, I couldn't believe what I found.

- That was a long time ago.

- Johnny Owens was a minor.

- I, I, I swear, I thought he was 18.

- How'd you do it?

How'd you lure him in?

Did you build a little fire, offer him a drink?

- Listen, that's not who I am anymore.

I've recovered from that.

- Do you think Johnny recovered?

- Listen, if you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about this.

- You're right, it's cool.

I don't mind.

- Good.

- The thing is, Dale,

Johnny minds.

(blow thudding) - Oh!

Oh, oh. - Johnny minds a lot, Dale!

- Oh, my God. (groaning)

Ah, ow!

Look, oh God, I know it was wrong, I know it was wrong.

I was sick, I needed help, I was abused too.

- Then you should've known better.

What do you see when you look in the mirror, Dale?

- I don't know, please, please, please,

I'll do anything you want, please.

If it's money, I have money, please.

- Money?

(Dale thudding to floor) (Dale groaning)

- Don't, please.

(background classical music)

- "He that dies pays all debts."

(Dale shrieking)

(poker thudding) (melodic classical music)

(Shane breathing heavily)

(melodic classical music)

(shower running) (tense melodic music)

(background classical music)

(door clicking)

(door thudding)

- I hated my first year,

the sponsor said no dating, that sucked.

- Mine said the same thing, but you know,

it's all right now.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Well, now that you're past a year sober,

got your eyes on anybody you wanna ask out?

- Sure.

We're here, aren't we?

- You mean me?

- Yeah, I mean you, I'm looking at you.

What, didn't you know this was a date?

- I mean, I thought you were into me,

but I didn't think it was like a date date.

- You thought I was into you, but you just,

you decided to come for the attention?

- Ah, I don't know about that.

We're guys, we flirt, that's what we do.

- Brent, you're totally leading me on.

- No, I'm being nice to you 'cause you're a newcomer.

- Bullshit, bullshit!

No, no, come on, you fucking owe me this date.

- Ooh, no, I don't owe you this date.

I don't owe you anything, no one does.

- Okay, oh what, we're gonna go there with it?

What an asshole!

- Okay, let's just dial it back.

- Oh, fuck you.

No, yeah, yeah, fuck you!

(glasses clanking)

(background guitar music)

(background people chattering)

(hand thudding)

- Oh.

- Who's she?

- [Kirsty] Who are you?

- Alex, this is Kirsty.

- Hi.

- You okay?

- I'm fine.

- [Kirsty] Don't look it.

- Don't worry about it.

- (laughing) Is this about that guy?

- Yeah.

- Did he dump you?

- Something like that.

- Remember, it's not about him,

it was about you taking your shot.

Now move on.

- It's not that easy.

- Don't worry, baby,

somebody's gonna love that sweet face of yours.

(Shane laughing)

Now if you'll excuse me.

Don't leave me waiting too long.

- All right.

(hand patting)

(Shane laughing)

- Is she one of your clients?

- Why would you think that?

- I just thought that you- - You just thought that?

(soft tense music)

You have your little girlfriend.

(hand patting)

(Shane and Kirsty laughing)

(soft melodic music)

(Alex knocking)

(door clicking)

- Hey. - Hey.

- I didn't expect to see you back here.

- What's up, Randy?

- What's up?

(background soft music)

- [Freddy] Any word yet?

- No, just starting to get a little worried.

- Well, he could still show up, the night is young.

Meanwhile, you are so unbelievably talented.

- Thanks, Freddy.

- You know, we do tend to always think the worst.

I'm sure there's just some dumb reason,

that he is not here yet.

- Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

- Is this okay?

- Yeah, let's fucking do it.

- Damn!

(background melodic music)

Damn!

- I take it it'll be a rough one?

- Yeah, what you don't know about me.

- Like what? - Like this.

(Randy moaning)

- Damn.

- You ready for some more? - Yeah.

- Yeah? - Oh.

(tense melodic music) (Randy moaning)

What the fuck are you doing?

- Relax. - What the fuck are you doing?

- Come on, it's fine. - No!

I want you to go. - Randy, I'm sorry,

I thought you liked it, man, it's cool,

we could, we could do- - No, no, no, no, no, no.

- Randy.

- I don't know what you think this is.

- Yo, don't be like that. - I'm not into that.

- I-I'm sorry, I was just trying to impress you.

Don't be like that. - Just get out, man.

- Come on, we could try again, Randy, don't be like...

(door thudding)

(Randy exhaling heavily)

♪ I thought that's what you wanted all the time ♪

(keys jangling)

(Randy sighing heavily)

- [Randy] Alex, Alex, hey, you forgot your keys.

- Look, Randy, I'm so sorry.

I'm, I would never hurt you, man,

I just, I wanted you to like me.

- Look, some people are what, into that.

It's just not my thing, okay.

- I get it, I get it.

Let me just try again, I'll be gentle.

- I don't know.

- Please, please, look, I'll be gentle.

- Look at the fairy boys.

- Come on, man. - What did you just say?

- I think you heard me, faggot.

- You can't talk to us like that.

- Yeah? - Alex.

- Step back, Randy.

Yeah, well, at least I'm not some fucking closet fuck

getting your rocks up-

- You trying to start something?

- Maybe I am, but how about you blow me first?

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

- Yeah? (blow thudding)

(soft tense music)

- Come on. - Fucking bitch.

- [Alex] Come on.

(metal bar thudding)

(Alex thudding to ground)

- Yeah, yeah, how'd you like that?

(blow thudding) Huh?

(blow thudding) - Oh!

- [Man] You wanna punch me?

(blow thudding) - Uh!

- [Man] Huh?

(kick thudding) - Uh!

- Fuck you!

(Alex coughing)

(tense melodic music)

- Yeah, they're over here in the, in the alley,

my, my friend.

Alex, come on.

(soft tense music)

- Oh, there he is.

(soft melodic music)

- It hurts so much.

- You're gonna be okay.

- Hm.

- [Veronica] Okay.

- So you drank?

- I can't do this with you right now, GJ.

- [Gracie] I thought you were done.

- Yeah, so did I.

Did they find the guy?

- No, not yet anyway.

- So what happened?

- This asshole called me a faggot.

- [Gracie] And you fought him?

- What was I supposed to do?

- Walk away, let it go.

- I'm tired of being pushed around, Gracie.

- You could have been killed, Alex!

- You have every right to stand up for yourself, baby,

but you have to pick your battles.

- You know this started when Shane moved in?

You should have listened to me.

- Well, I'm a little more concerned with being the victim

of a hate crime right now, if that's okay with you.

- No, actually it's not okay, it's not okay at all,

because there shouldn't have been a hate crime.

You weren't supposed to be drunk,

you weren't supposed to be hooking up

and you for damn sure weren't supposed to be

starting a fight with some homophobic jackass!

You were supposed to be with me at my show,

because it was my night!

(Alex sighing)

Yeah, after I talked you up to my boss's husband,

told him all about my talented best friend,

who didn't even bother to fucking show up!

- Shit, Gracie, I'm,

I'm sorry.

- I'm so done with you, Alex, I have one life

and I am done trying to help you fix yours!

Good luck, Veronica, you're a saint.

- Gracie.

(Veronica sighing)

(door thudding)

- So I guess you hate me now too?

- No, honey,

I love you and I'm your sponsor,

but I can't run your life.

I'm just here to try to help you stay sober.

Do you want that?

- I really don't know.

- Well, you think about it and let me know

and I urge you to ask yourself,

do you want the rest of your life to look like this?

(gentle melodic music)

Here you go, slowly. - Mm-hm, mm-hm, okay.

- Do you need anything?

- No, they said the pillow, I should be okay,

I just, I don't know.

- Do you want me to stay?

- No, it's fine, Ronnie, you've done enough really.

- [Veronica] Okay.

- What happened to you?

- He was gay bashed.

- Did you put up a good fight?

- He cracked his ribs, you know.

- Here,

for next time.

(flick knife clicking)

I believe in protecting myself.

- What you do is none of my business.

- Just like it was none of your business,

when I moved into a house where his father was murdered?

Alex told me you knew.

- That was Alex's business to disclose if he wanted to,

there was no law that said he had to.

- Hm, I see how it works.

- I don't think you do.

Honey, I'm gonna come back and check on you.

(gentle melodic music)

- Bye.

- She's wrong, you know.

- Would you get off of her?

She helps a lot of people.

- I never said she didn't.

- I shouldn't have pushed that guy.

- If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?

- It was stupid, it was stupid.

- Why are you so afraid to fight back?

- Look at me.

- You're stronger than you think you are, Alex.

I wanna show you something.

(Shane knocking)

(door clicking)

- [Grant] Peter?

- Yeah.

Grant?

- [Grant] Yeah, that's me.

Who are you?

- A friend.

- I don't go alone these days, you understand?

- [Grant] Yeah, sure.

- Can we come in?

- [Grant] Oh, yeah.

- Thanks.

Ah, this is a nice place you have.

(door thudding)

You live alone?

- Yeah, just me.

Do you guys want a drink or something?

- No, thanks.

- Okay, what do we do now?

We could go to the bedroom,

if your friend doesn't mind staying here.

- Yeah, in a minute.

I have a few more questions, if you don't mind.

- Okay, sure.

- Can you tell me about Rachel Monahan?

- Why do you wanna know about her?

- I think you know why.

(soft tense music)

- Okay, you know what, you two are starting to freak me out

and I think you should go. - You're freaked out?

That's interesting, you molested Rachel, a teenager,

you think Rachel was freaked out?

- Who the fuck are you? - Who the fuck are you

to do that to a kid?

Did you do that to your own fucking daughter,

you punk bitch? - Okay, get out!

I'm gonna call the cops! - Shut the fuck up!

(blow thudding)

(Grant thudding to floor)

- Holy shit!

(soft tense music)

- Come on! (Grant coughing)

- Oh.

- This is your chance.

(flick knife clicking)

You wanna kill him?

- [Alex] Shane, I can't.

- If you don't do this, he gets away with it.

- I'm not killing anybody.

(knife clattering to floor)

(soft tense music)

(kicks thudding) (Grant groaning)

- You have a choice here, Alex,

you can crawl back to that safe, little cave

and drink your life away

or you can give this sick fuck what he deserves.

(kicks thudding) (Grant groaning)

- Fuck!

(Grant groaning)

- No, no! (groaning)

Stop.

- Look at yourself, Grant, you did this,

you brought this on.

(flick knife clicking)

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Think hard about what he did, Alex.

- Shane.

- No, no, please don't.

- Should I do it? - No!

- No, stop, stop, don't, please.

(knife thudding)

(soft tense music) (Grant gurgling)

(Grant gasping softly)

(Grant thudding to floor)

- One less monster.

- Shit.

You had no right.

- He's nothing but a fucking schoolyard-stalking

child molester, do you really think he deserved to live?

Do you?

That's what I thought.

(soft tense music)

(background rock music)

I don't think I need to tell you this,

but this isn't something you run and tell your sponsor

or little girlfriend about. - Yeah, why not?

- Are you fucking serious? - Are you fucking serious?

I didn't fucking do this, I didn't want this!

- Give me your shirt.

- What? - There's blood on it.

- Does anything you fucking listen to have lyrics?

(blows thudding) (upbeat rock music)

(Shane breathing heavily)

(Shane roaring)

(blows thudding) (upbeat rock music)

- How's that working out for you?

- What you did tonight, have you done it before?

- People pay for my company, I look up their address.

If they're not on a list, then everyone has a good time,

but if they are, yes, I do the right thing.

- Kill people?

- That deserve to die.

- You're not God.

- Alex.

I'm doing God's work.

- What the fuck happened to you?

- That doesn't matter,

all that is in the past.

What matters now is we set things right.

- They deserve a second chance.

- Do you really believe that?

Some people, after they're abused, they commit suicide.

Did they get a second chance?

- I want you out.

I'm calling the cops.

- Calling the cops, yeah.

(gentle melodic music)

It's okay, call the cops then,

you were there too.

- So what?

- In fact, you're the one that killed him.

I tried to stop you, I have your shirt with his blood on it.

- Fuck you.

- No, fuck you, Alex!

Fuck you.

(soft piano music)

(objects clattering)

(Alex thudding to floor)

- Fuck.

(soft piano music)

Gracie.

Gracie

I'm sorry.

I'm fucked up,

but I love you.

I'd do anything for you.

(bag thudding)

(soft piano music)

I told you to get the fuck out.

- Tell me one thing.

What were you gonna say to your dad?

- I don't have to tell you shit.

- Yeah, you do.

- I was, I don't know,

just gonna see if he'd changed.

Maybe give him a second chance, I don't know.

- And then what?

Pretend nothing ever happened?

(soft piano music)

You gonna drink some more?

Maybe try to kill yourself again.

- You're fucking crazy.

- You try to kill yourself.

I kill monsters.

Who's the crazy one here?

- Bye.

(soft piano music)

(light haunting music)

(Alex groaning)

- [Gracie] There are a lot of really sick people

in this world.

- [Veronica] If you can think of him as sick instead of bad,

the shift in your perception might be the miracle you need.

(soft orchestral music)

- I forgive you, Dad.

I forgive you.

(birds chirping)

- There's more than 300 murders a year in New York

and almost 10.000 unsolved murders.

- What, what are the odds of, of, of us catching him?

- This guy knows what he's doing, he doesn't leave a trail,

but I won't stop until we find him.

- I should've just called you sooner.

Stupid.

- Some people never report a crime, it takes courage.

- Thanks.

(soft tense music)

(door clicking)

(door thudding)

(light switch clicking)

(keys jangling)

(soft tense music)

(phone ringing)

Gracie.

- I have nothing to say to you, Alex.

- [Alex] Let me just explain to you, I know it's different,

it's different. - I don't care.

- [Alex] You were right about Shane, okay.

- [Gracie] I don't care, it's always the same with you.

- [Alex] No, I know, but he's dangerous, Gracie.

(soft tense music) - Goodbye, Alex.

(Gracie gasping)

- God, I'm having a bad day here.

(soft piano music)

(Veronica sobbing)

(Alex knocking)

Oh.

(Veronica clearing throat)

(door clicking)

- Gracie won't speak to me.

- No how are you

or I'm sorry for dropping by without calling?

- I did call, you didn't answer, I'm sorry,

but Gracie won't see me.

- Alex, you relapsed, you missed her show.

You do nothing but think about yourself,

including right now.

Honey, I am beat,

do you want anything else?

- I need to know how I can get Gracie to forgive me,

Ronnie, please. - Stop saying I'm sorry,

it's just words.

Show up, be the friend she's been to you.

You do anything you want, no matter the cost.

It's time to grow up, Alex.

- Thanks.

I'm sorry I bothered you.

- Alex. (sobbing)

(soft orchestral music)

When I lost Ethan, I woke up and I got sober,

but being sober is only the beginning.

You've got to show Gracie real change,

before she can trust you again.

You have a chance that I didn't have

and with time and with patience, you can fix this,

I know you can.

- Goodnight, Ronnie.

(soft orchestral music)

(car door thudding)

(Veronica sobbing)

(car engine starting)

(car rumbling)

(phone ringing) (soft tense music)

- GJ.

- [Shane] No, but she's here.

- I'm calling the cops. - You don't wanna do that,

not if you wanna see your little girlfriend alive.

- Leave her alone, you fuck, this is between you and me!

- [Shane] I want you to come to the garage, Alex,

she's running out time. - Gracie!

(tense orchestral music)

(car engine idling)

Gracie!

- Alex! - Gracie! (hands tapping)

(Alex thudding) Uh!

- I said I'd make a fighter out of you, Alex.

The only way to do that is to get rid of your little crutch.

You're gonna have to fight harder than that.

You really wanna let her die?

(Alex grunting)

(tense orchestral music)

You said you'd do anything for Gracie, prove it!

(head thudding) - Uh!

(blows thudding) (Alex grunting)

(tense orchestral music)

- Do you really wanna know what happened to me, Alex?

I went away to Little League camp.

Your dad, that sick fuck, he was my coach!

You know what he did to me, don't you, Alex?

I can't count how many years I walked around ashamed,

a loser, weak!

But then I found a way out, I became a fighter

and every time I kill one of those monsters,

I see your dad's face!

(Alex roaring) (blow thudding)

- Gracie! (Gracie screaming)

- How are the ribs, Alex?

- No, argh!

(head thudding)

(Alex thudding to floor)

- I did the world a favor killing your father

and I tried to help you,

because I know what it feels like to be afraid.

(Gracie sobbing fearfully)

I tried to help you become somebody that fights back.

(car horn tooting)

You really think he's gonna save you, Gracie?

He's done nothing but let you down,

why should today be any different?

(light switch clicking)

(car engine idling)

(tense orchestral music)

Hope this is your best shot, Alex.

- Uh! - What are you gonna do now,

give me a second chance?

- I learned a lot from you, Shane.

(flick knife clicking) (flick knife thudding)

Like always carry a knife.

(tense orchestral music)

(Shane thudding to floor)

Gracie.

(tense orchestral music)

(blows thudding) (Alex grunting)

(glass shattering)

(car door clicking)

Gracie, Gracie, Gracie!

(soft orchestral music)

(tape tearing) (Alex grunting)

Come on, Gracie.

Come on, Gracie, Gracie, Gracie, please.

Gracie, Gracie, Gracie.

Come on, Gracie!

(hand patting)

Come on, come on, come on!

Come on!

Gracie! (wailing)

(Gracie gasping) Argh!

(Gracie coughing)

You're good.

(Gracie screaming) No, it's me, it's me!

It's me, it's Alex, Alex, it's Alex, it's Alex.

(Gracie sobbing)

Breathe.

(soft orchestral music)

That's good, that's good.

(Gracie sobbing)

Come on.

(gentle orchestral music)

- Oh, my God, baby, are you okay?

Oh.

Oh, it's okay.

It's okay.

- [Gracie] "Dear Alex, I wish you only love.

I hope you figure it all out,

I hope you go after your dreams,

but I need to focus on me for a while.

You know I care about you,

I just can't be with you right now.

You have to take these first steps on your own.

Love Gracie Jean."

(background people chattering)

- Hey, guys.

I wrote this song, um, I hope you guys like it.

♪ Now we're apart, seems like years ♪

♪ It's only been a couple of days ♪

♪ I broke your heart, caused your tears ♪

♪ Said I'd never change my ways ♪

♪ I never meant to hurt you ♪

♪ Even now, I won't desert you ♪

♪ If you need a friend to hold you again ♪

♪ I will hold you ♪

♪ I am still here ♪

♪ Whatever I do, I will love you ♪

♪ And if you miss me ♪

♪ I'm still here ♪

(muffled rock music) (Henry snorting cocaine)

(Shane knocking)

(sirens wailing in distance)

(door clicking)

- Who are you?

- [Shane] Hello, Henry, I'm here with Kirsty.

- Where is she?

- She's in the car, I typically come up ahead of her

just to make sure everything's safe.

You know how it is.

- Okay, so could she come up?

- It depends, Henry, are you gonna drug her,

like you drugged Julie Erickson?

♪ When this crazy world got out of control ♪

♪ You were the one to lift my soul ♪

(blow thudding)

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Someone who knows you ♪

♪ I am still here ♪

♪ Darling, whatever you do ♪

♪ I will always love you ♪

♪ And I miss you ♪

♪ I am still here ♪

(soft tense music) (Henry grunting)

- What do you see?

(knife thudding)

(upbeat rock music)

♪ Something inside me is waking up ♪

♪ Forming an alliance with enough ♪

♪ It's never too late to find yourself ♪

♪ 'Cause there's a spirit, can you hear it ♪

♪ Something inside me is waking up ♪

♪ You've been asleep, now it's time to atone ♪

♪ Who are you when you're alone ♪

♪ Reality lost in a crisis ♪

♪ I dug any deeper in your pockets ♪

♪ And fought in your heart and took a piece of your soul ♪

♪ Sold the remains for foolish gold ♪

♪ You bet it all, 'cause you lost it ♪

♪ And now put the nail in your coffin ♪

♪ When will we learn that change comes from within ♪

♪ Something inside me is waking up ♪

♪ Forming an alliance with enough ♪

♪ It's never too late to find yourself ♪

♪ 'Cause there's a spirit, can you hear it ♪

♪ Something inside me is waking up ♪

♪ Forming an alliance with enough ♪

♪ It's never too late to find yourself ♪

♪ 'Cause there's a spirit, can you hear it ♪

♪ Something inside me is waking up ♪

♪ Why do we sink, the water is low ♪

♪ Down in a pool of our own shadow ♪

♪ Stuck with ourselves, caught in there ♪

♪ You know it's better with you ♪

♪ And I see that, let's do it ♪

♪ Not back in the suicide, missing the love ♪

♪ Been only hypnotized, stumbling to decide ♪

♪ Know that enough is enough is enough ♪

♪ When will we learn that change comes from within ♪

♪ Something inside me is waking up ♪

♪ Forming an alliance with enough ♪

♪ It's never too late to find yourself ♪

♪ 'Cause there's a spirit, can you hear it ♪

♪ Something inside me is waking up ♪

♪ Forming an alliance with enough ♪

♪ It's never too late to find yourself ♪

♪ 'Cause there's a spirit, can you hear it ♪

♪ Something inside me is waking up ♪