Original subtitles

SUNDAY 11:00 A.M.

Juan Pablo, your mom wants you to call her.

-Pick up your clothes. -Yes.

-This should be enough, 200 pesos. -And the Cokes?

Here you are.

Bring the change back.

Come here.

Your aunts' phone number is over there.

-Give me a call later. -Yes.

Make sure the pilot light stays on, okay?

Okay.

-Don't forget! -Okay!

Wait.

Mario!

-Did I turn off the coffee maker? -Yes.

What?

You didn't shake hands with me, asshole.

Finger.

Finger.

Finger.

-Bin Laden. -Hey, you had him last time.

So?

I'll go with Bush.

Where are you?

You go.

-No, idiot, it's your house. -So?

-You have to get the door. -I don't give a shit.

I don't give a shit either.

Time out.

Who is it?

-It's me, your neighbor. -What do you want?

Can I please borrow your oven?

My oven broke down.

No, my mom is not here.

-What? -It will only take me 15 minutes.

Okay, come in.

Lock the door.

If it is a problem, I'd better not.

It will only take 15 minutes.

Leave it.

Get out!

Reload!

-What…? -You're going down, asshole.

Come on, then.

Where are you, asshole?

There you are.

Asshole. Reload already!

Come out here, fucking sissy.

Did the power go out?

The thing is that, without electricity…

I'll have to beat it by hand and it will take a little longer.

What?

Hey, do you know how much is 63 degrees Celsius in Fahrenheit?

Can you hear that?

What is it?

The sink. The tap is always dripping.

Are you hungry?

Why don't we order some pizza?

A large pizza with mushrooms.

No, asshole. Salami.

Okay, half mushroom and half salami.

And two large Cokes.

Nonoalco Tlatelolco Residential Complex,

Niños Héroes building, apartment 803.

Please, have them knock, because the power went out. Thanks.

Why are you timing them? They always make it.

TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS

-Who is it? -Telepizza, your friendly pizza.

Hi, buddy.

You ordered a large pizza…

half salami, half mushroom, right?

Yes. And two Cokes.

-Two Cokes. -Yes.

-One. -One.

And here is the other one.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

No, no. Wait. That will be 190.

No, you were 11 seconds late.

No. I got here in exactly 30 minutes.

Our stopwatch says you were late.

Mine says I wasn't late, buddy.

So, what should we do?

Call your parents, kid.

Come on.

Look. First of all, my mom is not home.

And secondly, don't call me kid!

Okay, okay.

What are you doing?

Sorry, I'm not leaving until I get paid.

Do you want to bet?

Halo.

Halo? What's that?

It's a video game.

The winner gets the pizza and the money.

The loser gets nothing.

What about football?

Manchester.

But how are we going to play?

With a 4-3-3 formation.

A 5-3-2 formation is best.

No.

-But I think that-- -Stop it.

-But listen-- -5-3-2 formation!

We haven't played in ages.

It doesn't matter.

Let me handle it.

Then you will pay him.

Let's play.

Okay.

Level?

Amateur, pro or world-class?

World-class?

Is there any other?

Hey.

Can you set your stopwatch for 15 minutes?

Ready?

Let the first half begin!

It's an interesting game between two evenly matched teams.

The ball is near the danger zone.

He takes the ball to a good position.

Goal! Hell yeah!

I got distracted, that's all. She distracted me.

They did a great job moving the ball until finding an opening to score.

Only one minute has gone by

and we already got the first goal of this match.

He anticipates and stops the opponent's attack.

He takes control of the ball.

It's a good pass.

Goal!

One all.

He's trying to lose the marker.

He is quickly trying to run towards the opening.

He passes the ball to a teammate.

A cross ball, a wall pass, and he's going to hit it.

He's going to hit it, and he hits!

Goal!

He's going to score.

Goal!

That's a dangerous corner kick.

Goal!

Again!

What a close first half!

Looks like we will be having free pizzas.

I'm sure we will see a good and exciting second half.

Be careful.

He keeps control of the ball.

-I'm almost there. -No, careful!

They are in the danger zone. They almost scored!

The ball gets stolen in the center line with no chance to counterattack.

There he is! Ronaldo!

Goal! Goal!

Let's see the goal replay.

I told you to use another defense formation.

You play, then.

I'm not criticizing you, I'm just advising you.

The moment he touches the ball, he scores.

The match is tied and the referee is looking at his watch.

He cleverly steals the ball.

Golden goal.

Have a good stretch.

If only every game were like this.

Come on.

It's your turn to kick off.

A new match starts in this overtime.

Three all!

He kicks the ball forward.

Go. Pass the ball.

They place the ball in a good position.

The goalkeeper rose in the air.

The ball hit the crossbar.

The goalkeeper reacted quickly.

That was a great kick!

He needs to clear the danger zone.

The goalkeeper stole the ball without fouling.

Stop him there.

He takes the ball and has a good chance.

He already knew where to go through.

Goal!

What the hell?

-It was a goal. -No, it didn't go in.

Of course it did. It went in.

It was at the goal, right at the corner.

Yes, but it didn't go in.

-It clearly went in. -It was a goal.

-Yes, but not-- -It was a goal.

-It was a great goal. -No, it didn't really go in.

It was a goal. It clearly went in.

Of course it went in. It was a shot in the corner.

He shot it in the corner.

-Did you see it going in? -No, but it did go in.

It hit the net. It went in. It must have gone in.

-No. -It was a goal!

Don't cheat!

It was a goal!

-It was going to hit the crossbar. -It's not true. It was going down.

-It was going down. -It was already in.

-It was already in. -No, kids, forget it.

You have to be kidding me!

-Really, it went in. -Don't cheat.

Come on, no way.

Martita?

Yes.

Listen, tell Jorge I'm going to be a bit late.

I had a problem with a delivery.

Yes, I'll be there in ten minutes.

Okay, bye.

It was a goal.

Don't you want to put it here?

So it won't get cold.

Pay up.

What a pretty picture, right?

It's horrible.

Well, it's a matter of taste.

It's a matter of who screws over who.

His parents are fighting over who gets to keep it.

And who bought it?

They won it in a raffle at a Christmas party.

His dad kept the two tickets,

his and his mom's.

One of them won, but they never knew who it was.

If he were a gentleman, he should leave it to his mom.

Let's see…

If you had two raffle tickets,

yours and your boyfriend's,

and a car is being raffled.

And you win the car.

But you don't really know

whose ticket was whose.

Would you really give it to your boyfriend?

Whose Christmas party was it?

His mom's.

If it weren't for his mother,

his father wouldn't have been there.

Yes, but if his mother had gone alone,

there would have only been one ticket.

And maybe that wasn't the winning ticket.

What?

The alarm didn't go off.

What's your name?

Juan Pablo.

Well, Pablito, you'll have to help me.

It's your fault my cake got burned.

You need to exercise your memory.

Of course, you have to care about something

to remember it, right?

It'll take you hours.

No, it won't.

It says here preparation time is 40 minutes.

Come here.

Help me chop some strawberries. Okay?

Yes, sir.

Yes, I know.

Yes, I'm on my way.

Okay, that's enough.

Now you're fucked!

You need to sieve it well or you'll get lumps.

Juan Pablo is John Paul.

Like the Pope.

People call me Moko. With a "K."

My name is Rita.

I saw the Pope once.

But I was very little.

We went with my mom to Insurgentes Avenue, and we saw him.

You know? It was like a miracle.

He was passing by,

and suddenly, he gives an order to stop the Popemobile.

And then he started walking, you know, all gracefully.

He walked and walked towards me and my mom,

and then he stared right at me.

And then what?

Nothing.

If we don't clean the wound, it'll get infected.

How do you separate the egg whites?

Don't worry, just toss them in.

How old are you?

Fourteen.

I'm 16.

When is your birthday?

On June 6th.

On June 6th?

Six. January, February, March, April, May, June.

Sixth of the sixth month of what year?

In 1990.

1990? Let me see.

Nine and nine is eighteen… Oh, no.

No, you're safe.

From what?

From being the Antichrist. Six, six, six.

Sorry, it was an accident.

I'm sorry.

-Let me see. I'll clean you up. -No, leave it.

You don't want any water?

Set your watch for 20 minutes, okay?

Enough. I give up.

Relax.

To beat the egg whites stiff you need to be patient.

Yes, but my arm hurts.

Don't worry, you're doing great.

Come on, continue.

It's almost ready.

What do you do?

In life.

I go to school.

Is that all?

I listen to music and play video games.

I sing in a band.

A rock band.

What's the band called?

The Icing on the Cake.

Got you!

You fell for it.

They won't charge me, but there's a limit.

You have to be more careful.

-What are those? -False nails.

I found them in the bathroom.

-They're cool, right? -They are horrible.

The idea is not for them to look pretty.

Give me your arm.

Relax.

I'm relaxed.

Ethologists study animal behavior.

I was going to be a vet, but…

Lucía told me I should study ethology.

God knows what her deal was.

Lucía was my girlfriend.

We broke up because…

she said my great aunt tortured her.

I live with my great aunt, Lucha Elena.

When I graduated,

I wanted to go back to San Juan, but…

my great aunt got really sick and I had to stay here and look after her.

I couldn't find a job here.

Until one day,

an uncle recommended me for a job in a…

in a dog shelter.

In there, we decided which dogs lived and which ones would be put down.

At first, I wanted to…

save a lot of dogs.

But I couldn't.

They killed them in the end anyway.

They had no home.

I worked there…

for six months.

And they started laying people off.

The manager of the shelter said it was a budgetary luxury

to decide which dogs lived and which ones didn't.

They offered me the job of…

killing the dogs.

CULLING AREA

OBSERVATION

Until one day,

something caught my attention.

One of the dogs had a mark between its eyes.

So I took him.

I quit.

And the pizza restaurant needed delivery men.

"Enthusiastic young men wanting to get ahead."

Mondays through Sundays, from 12 to 8, Wednesdays off.

I don't like delivering pizzas.

But as my aunt Lucha Elena says,

"Opportunities in life are like the bullets in a shotgun."

And I've already used mine up.

What is this?

My lucky coin.

Keep it.

Don't heat it in the microwave or it will get soggy.

Try it.

Is it too hot?

It's disgusting.

Stop exaggerating.

Yes, it's disgusting.

Yes. One day, I bought a couple of yellow-headed parrots,

the ones that talk.

And suddenly, two months later, they had chicks.

They had six or seven little parrots.

I thought about selling them.

But the room they were in…

was really cold,

and they died.

And the worst part is that the couple died too.

Then I realized it was a great business.

So?

So I'm going to try again.

Look. With my Christmas bonus, I can buy a new couple.

I'm going to buy them in December, so I should have saved enough

to buy a heater for the room.

Once I have the heater and the couple of parrots,

I have to wait for two months for them to get into heat.

I hope the female wants to mate.

They are usually willing. Right?

So, in one go, you'll get six or seven chicks.

I have to wait for another month for them to grow up,

and once they are big enough,

I could sell them for 2000 or 2500, depending on who buys them.

So, I have to save for two months to buy the heater, right?

I have to wait until December to get the Christmas bonus.

July, August, September, October, November, December.

Two months for them to mate, one month for them to grow up,

and the time it takes me to sell them.

With that money,

I can bring over my aunt Eugenia to take care of my aunt Lucha Elena,

and I can go back to San Juan.

What do you think?

I'll be gone in a year.

Let's make brownies. It's easier.

Make them by yourself.

What?

I already helped you make a cake.

Why don't you close your eyes?

Why don't you close yours?

Come on, close them.

-What? -It feels funny.

-What does? -Your tongue.

Well, that's the point.

Let's try again.

Close your eyes.

We were in the kitchen, you know?

We were making a cake.

And she was… in the next chair.

I think she was beating eggs.

I saw her there all alone and bored,

and I went behind her and started rubbing her back, like this.

And then I started stroking her hair, like this.

And then…

She turned around.

And when she turned,

we looked at each other for three or four seconds,

and I kissed her for about ten or fifteen seconds.

And then, just before the kiss ended,

we kind of pulled apart

and I realized her eyes were open.

So I asked her, "Why don't you close your eyes?"

And she said, "Why don't you close yours?"

But I did have my eyes closed.

So she said, "Okay, let's try again."

You know how it is, right?

So, I tried once again,

and I told her, "Close your eyes."

So I tried again,

and the kiss lasted about ten or fifteen seconds.

And we were kissing, everything was cool,

but suddenly, she pushed me away.

She pushed me, and I said, "What? Now what?"

And she said, "It feels funny." And I said, "What?"

She said, "Your tongue."

But that's the point, right?

I mean, that's the idea of a French kiss.

Then she said, "Okay, let's try again, but I'll give you the kiss."

So I took my time to say okay, just to play hard to get.

And then I got ready and closed my eyes,

she was going to kiss me,

but just before that, I feel her coming close to my face,

like an inch away,

and then… I don't know what happened.

She moved back and sucked my ear.

She stuck her tongue in, and licked all around.

Then what?

Nothing.

You really like her.

How do you know?

Do you want to do it with her?

How do I know if I want to do it with her or not?

Did you get like this?

No.

Well, this is a comic, but more or less.

I didn't look at it.

But you felt it.

Yes.

Then you really like her.

What's that?

You'll knock her dead with this.

Just don't suck my ear.

Yes, making brownies is easier.

Do you smell that?

No.

Who are you thinking of?

What?

Are you sure?

Is it good?

Okay, just a little.

Blonde or brunette?

Blonde, right?

Tell me.

Why do you all like blondes so much?

Like Lourdes Azcona from 302.

She's not that pretty, but she's blonde,

so everyone is in love with her.

I'm not biased, really.

I don't.

But that girl is stupid.

I don't think she's very smart.

I don't think she really cares

or even realizes that she's not smart.

You need to be smart to know whether you're smart or not.

I feel sorry for you.

You'll get bored to death

when you realize she's not smart.

Or maybe not.

Maybe you don't care about being with a smart woman.

Or maybe you aren't smart either.

But sooner or later,

you'll want to be with someone smart.

A palindrome.

1991 is a palindrome.

I was born in a palindrome.

Where's the sieve?

I'm not going to dye my hair.

Besides, the dyes cause cancer. Did you know that?

Of course, it's not just a matter of being blond.

You could easily dye your hair, but that's not it.

You have to be blonde and busty.

Because if you're just blonde,

guys get disappointed.

That's why I always say it's not the hair color that matters,

it's the attitude.

Aren't you going to tell me who you were thinking about?

My mom wants to take the picture to Morelia.

My dad wants it to stay here.

That's why they are fighting.

Because for them that picture has great sentimental value.

It reminds them of the year you were born.

It had been in the closet for 13 years.

Can you set it for 20 minutes?

We were at the TechnoMotion.

We were losing.

It was my turn and I jumped,

turned and landed on both feet.

And he hugged me.

Who?

Flama.

Usually, ducks…

have a great need to emigrate.

It's not that the duck that emigrates is a bad duck,

it's their nature that makes them emigrate.

They seek new waters or…

warmer weather.

I don't know, they are ducks.

And are these…

fantasies recurring?

Kind of.

For example, in another one, we were in the supermarket.

And it was weird because…

there was no one else, just him and me.

And we were eating plums.

What?

Nothing.

No. What are you thinking?

The pizza was for both of us, asshole.

-I'm sorry. -No.

I'll make you a sandwich.

-Do you have Cheez Whiz? -Yes.

What's up?

What the hell, look at this mess!

It's not my fault.

You were with her, asshole.

And you let her in, asshole.

Get out.

No, my cake isn't done yet.

I don't give a shit.

The problem is your oven is in Fahrenheit.

It's harder, as none of the recipes are in Fahrenheit.

It's almost done. How many minutes to go?

-Five minutes. -Five minutes.

Hey, no, wait a minute. Come on, wait!

Your cake is done.

Get out!

It's my birthday today.

Happy birthday.

My family forgot about it.

Happy birthday, dear Rita Happy birthday to me

To tell you the truth…

it is delicious.

Weed.

That's what was inside the can?

Did you put marijuana in it?

That sounds great.

Dry mouth?

Drink it! Drink it!

Drink it! Drink it!

Thirty-eight!

Thirty-nine!

Come on!

Forty!

Take it off, give it to me.

Give it to me.

Where did you get it?

It was my mom's.

Your mom gets stoned?

Only in weekends.

There are four of us.

Like The Beatles.

The Beatles were all men.

John Lennon was a woman.

Make a wish.

How?

Think of a wish. Then think of a color.

Bite it, and if you get the color you chose,

your wish comes true.

Look. Red.

Blue.

Try again.

Green.

Yellow.

Out of 65 sweets,

I didn't get the color right once.

Here we are in Acapulco.

Here we are in Veracruz.

Look, you were so cute.

That's my cousin Julián.

Here we are in… Cuernavaca.

What?

What?

Neither of your parents is a redhead.

Any redheads in your family?

A grandparent, an uncle?

No, don't be stupid. You're not adopted.

Neither of my parents is a redhead.

Relax.

Look. Who's that?

My mom, when she was young.

Do you have one of your father?

They look alike, but the hair…

Well, the color changes with age, right?

No. Once a redhead, always a redhead.

Oh, shit!

Who is holding you?

I think he was a waiter in Acapulco.

He's a redhead.

Maybe your parents went to Acapulco,

they met this poor guy who couldn't support you

and gave you up for adoption.

-What? -Come.

Can you see it?

Shit.

Are they moving?

Are they moving?

Do you know why ducks fly in a V formation?

The first duck that takes off clears the way for the second one.

And the second one clears the way for the third one.

The energy of the third one

impels the fourth one.

The fourth one, then the fifth,

and the sixth one.

And so all the ducks go together

driven by the force of a shared flight.

They fly together,

rising and soaring…

through the skies.

And when the first duck gets tired,

the leading duck,

it goes to the back of the flock

and another duck takes its place.

They take turns, like that.

One by one, going to the front and then back.

And if a duck becomes exhausted and tired out,

two ducks leave the flock and fly along with him…

until it recovers…

or falls.

I have to find my real parents.

I can't live without knowing who they are.

Why don't we go to Acapulco?

Are you coming?

I can't move.

Smile.

Angry.

Smile.

You look exactly the same.

No fucking way!

Why do you get angry?

I told you you're not adopted.

That's why.

And who are you going with?

See that bowl?

The other day they argued for two hours

over who was going to keep the bowl.

Then the next day, it's not the damned bowl,

it's the damned dining room, the fucking plates,

or the fucking dishes!

Any fucking thing is an excuse to start a fight!

Let's help them decide who gets to keep the fucking Chinese vase.

Ten points.

It's a souvenir from the honeymoon.

Go.

Heck yeah!

What?

Nothing.

You haven't asked me what happened with the cake girl.

What happened with the cake girl?

I gave her a big kiss.

A French kiss?

Did you like it?

I like the ear thing better.

Why?

I don't know.

Close your eyes.

I'll lick your ear.

No.

So you can see what it feels like.

-Who is it? -Telepizza, your friendly pizza.

Does this look extra thin to you?

You're never satisfied.

All I want is for the Cokes to be as they should be.

Cold.

Hello?

Who's calling?

Just a second.

The manager is calling you.

Let me see.

Hello?

Yes, I had a little problem with a delivery.

Go to hell!

Fire me.

I don't give a shit.

-Thank you, Flama. -You're welcome.

I'm going to go with my mom.

What are you going to do in Morelia?

When are you leaving?

If the moving company comes this week, on Saturday.

No more Sundays.

SUNDAY 8:00 P.M.

Out of 385 sweets,

I didn't get any color right.

Well, it's a game.

It's a bit cruel, isn't it?

Congratulations.

What?

It's your birthday.

Thank you.

No, thank you.

Your shirt, asshole.

FOR AME AND CAMILO

You made such a huge mess just to make some brownies?