Original subtitles

X-timestamp-map=local:00:00:00.000,mpegts:9000

[ static ]

>> hello?

[ sniffs ]

Oh, my.

It smells like this room has not

Been cleaned for five whole

Seasons...

Of a television show.

[ static continues ]

>> [ clucks ]

>> [ gasps ]

Oh! Hello, chicken!

Oh, your chair so dirty.

If I clean, you no run away,

Okay?

>> [ clucks ]

>> you promise?

>> [ clucks ]

[ squawking ]

>> I like you, chicken.

>> [ squawks ]

[ flies buzzing ]

[ clucking ]

[ wind whistling ]

>> oh, man! I just realized They'll probably

Show the "Sex and the city 3" Trailer!

>> why are you so excited?

I tried to drag you to the last

One, and you almost broke up With me.

>> the last one flopped pretty

Bad, so the studio's making the

Third one more guy-friendly.

[ film projector clicking ]

>> well, the lack of testes was

Making me testy, but this boring

Event just took a sperm for the Better.

[ all laugh ]

[ laughter ]

Huh?

>> hey, everyone!

This chick is giving me some --

Ah, you know what?

It's too easy.

Joke withdrawn, everyone.

Joke withdrawn.

>> "The detective said Samantha's collar was rigged to

Blow as soon as she made a sex

Pun, so it couldn't have been on

Her for more than 60 seconds."

[ cellphone rings ]

>> carrie, come to miranda's,

Quick!

>> the collar was rigged to blow

As soon as she tasted tuna.

But ironically, she was making

An actual tuna-fish sandwich.

>> mr. Big, someone is killing

My friends!

You've got to help us!

>> carrie, I have two secrets.

First, my real name isn't

Alexander big.

My second secret...Is this.

[ shing! ]

>> out of the way, gaybies!

>> hyah! Hyah!

>> aah!

>> ha ha!

>> aah!

Big? I feel so strange.

>> your brain is getting used to

Your new body, miss bradshaw.

Uhh, what shall I do with her

Old body?

[ flies buzzing ]

>> donate it to science.

>> yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

"Sex and the city 3"!

>> shut up!

The katherine heigl movie is Starting.

>> [ sighs ]

"Sex and the city 3"!

>> "Sex and the city 3"!

>> shhhh!

[ pitter! Pitter! Pitter!

Pitter! Pitter! ]

>> hey, hey, hey!

I avoid starvation for

Another day!

[ clang! ]

>> sorry, yogi, but if you steal

One more basket, it's my job.

>> you'll never catch me!

I live the life of the free!

>> not this time, yogi.

Ho chi hacharu!

>> quite the surprise, but try

this on for size!

Hey, hey, hey!

>> ♪ go, go, power forest

Rangers! ♪

♪ go, go, power forest

Rangers! ♪

>> raaaaaaaah!

>> ♪ go, go, power forest

Rangers! ♪

♪ go, go, power forest

Rangers! ♪

♪ go, go, power forest... ♪

>> what the [bleep] Is

Happening?!

>> and that is how you bring

Yogi bear to japan!

You're welcome!

[ door closes ]

>> they called me mad, but I did

It!

Egypt shall forevermore be known

As the land of giant boobies!

>> ha ha!

They're like giant boobies!

>> don't be an idiot!

>> I just don't think that we're

Ready for this, not -- not right

Now.

>> okay. I understand.

It's okay.

[ both sobbing ]

>> [ clucks ]

[ clucks in surprise ]

[ static ]

>> [ snaps fingers ]

[ static ]

[ shower running ]

[ static ]

>> [ squawks ]

[ clucking fearfully ]

>> it's no big deal.

[ indistinct voices ]

[ static ]

>> [ clucks angrily ]

[ thunder rumbles ]

[ clucks angrily ]

[ all screaming ]

>> are you on your way to a Fancy party?!

That was my line from our first

Appearance on this show!

>> [ clucks ]

>> eyegorp!

[ buzzing ]

I deserve it!

>> [ gulping ]

>> oh-ho, man.

>> you seem so ruthless.

Time to make you toothless!

Oh! Aah!

>> bah-bah!

>> [ neighs ]

Your beak looks ribbed for my

Pleasure!

Ow!

Aah!

That's not half bad, actually.

Whoa!

>> ♪ I'm so happy 'cause you are

Gonna die, gonna die! ♪

No, no, no! No! Stop!

[ chomp! Chomp! ]

Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aaaaaaaaah!

[ drumroll ]

>> a drumroll?

It's so suspenseful!

Aah!

What an ironic death!

>> I'm a champion!

>> hmm!

Looks like someone's been

Watching tony jaa's

"The protector."

Ooh!

Looks like someone just peed in

His gatchaman boxer shorts!

[ metal whirring ]

[ electricity whirs, crackles ]

>> he he!

[ sighs ]

[ gunshot ]

>> suck my sleigh balls!

Aah! Oh!

My only weakness!

>> ♪ duh da-da-da-da-da-da

Daaaah! ♪

Bitch pudding!

B-b-b-blam!

How do you like the taste of

Bitch pudding?!

Your mama sure liked it when she

Ate it out of my butthole!

[bleep]

Blam! Bitch pudding!

Blam, blam, blam, blam!

Whoo! Blam!

Oh! Oh!

Blam!

[ splat! ]

>> [ coughs ]

You saved me?

My life has value after all!

Oh!

>> ooh!

>> ding, dang!

This is gonna be one dilly of a

Slobberknocker!

Ow!

>> these ratings...Will be

Glorious.

[ both moaning ]

>> let me just get that for you.

[ door hinges creak ]

I wish I was a bionic chicken.

That would be so cool.

[ static ]

>> [ clucks inquisitively ]

>> [ clapping slowly ]

>> [ clucks impatiently ]

>> [ snaps fingers ]

>> [ clucking angrily ]

[ metal clinking ]

[ clucking angrily ]

[ electricity crackling ]

[ glass shatters ]

[ panting ]

>> [ clucks softly ]

>> [ clucks happily ]

>> ♪ we love you ♪

>> ♪ what a journey we've been

Through so far ♪

>> ♪ we've been through so far ♪

>> ♪ because of you, we've had

To raise the bar ♪

>> ♪ raise the bar ♪

>> ♪ toys and violence ♪

♪ molesting your brain

And then buying your silence ♪

>> ♪ silence ♪

>> ♪ and you were there and

Nothing was taboo ♪

>> ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

>> ♪ we love you ♪

>> ♪ we love you ♪

>> ♪ nerds on unicorns ♪

♪ dirty, filthy puppet porn ♪

>> ♪ we love you ♪

>> ♪ we love you ♪

>> ♪ robotic sexual assault ♪

♪ it's not the washing

Machine's fault ♪

>> ♪ five whole seasons of

Nothing but pleasing ♪

♪ when our cold hearts

Are freezing, you give

Our lives a reason ♪

♪ thank you ♪