Original subtitles

X-timestamp-map=local:00:00:00.000,mpegts:9000

[ thunder crashing ]

[ drilling, sawing ]

[ electricity crackling ]

>> it's alive!

>> lift-off in 3...

2...

1...

Ignition.

>> sir, launch failure!

Launch failure!

>> oh, my kids 6 to 12!

Scramble emergency crews!

And someone better get me

Answers -- and now!

>> we're trying, sir.

Most of these computers are just

Painted on!

>> damn budget cuts!

[ explosions ]

>> aah!

[ siren wails, horn blares ]

[ both screaming ]

>> the pilots are still inside!

It's no use!

The window and the axe are made

Of the same material!

They're done for.

[ horn honks ]

>> out of my way!

[ engine revving ]

Let's see how this door likes

450 horsepower.

[ poink! ]

>> oh, it's a no go!

The cable snapped like it was

Made of thread!

>> aah! They're burning alive!

Their faces!

Their horrible faces!

>> well, it would appear that

There was a missing 1x2 brick

From the space-shuttle assembly

Kit.

It was believed at the time that

We could finish the vessel

Without affecting the demanding

Launch schedule.

In hindsight --

>> aah! It's all our fault!

We were playing god, and you

Know it!

[ people gasping, screaming ]

[ camera shutters clicking ]

>> oh!

>> and then, at the funeral, the

Lego astronaut's wife meets her

Husband's mistress.

>> does she have big tits?

>> may I join you?

>> of course, mr. Bond.

>> aah!

>> aah!

Ungh!

[ thud ]

[ all cheering ]

>> awesome!

>> that was the best movie ever!

>> I've never --

[ muffled screaming ]

>> and top off that happy meal

With a tasty apple pie.

Warning -- apple pies are hot.

Do not stick your [bleep] In

The mcdonald's apple pie.

>> what do you call

Wilmer valderrama's mom?

A fez dispenser!

Oh!

I'll be here all week!

>> mommy, those people look like

Ants.

>> oh, that's because we're

Landing in the kingdom of the

Ants!

>> aaah!

>> ah-ha! I got you.

I'm just kidding.

>> would you mind keeping it

Down?

I'm trying to read.

[ both scream ]

[ both slurping ]

>> oh, what the [bleep]

[ wood creaking ]

>> oh, no! No, no, no!

>> okay, guys, andy's almost

Home from college for spring

Break!

[ all cheer ]

>> why would they celebrate a

Spring breaking?

That's the saddest time for me.

>> [ chuckling ] Oh, slink.

>> silly canine.

>> what a freaking jerk.

>> andy's here!

>> all right, ladies!

Single file, front and center!

Commander in chief on the

Premises!

>> you mean obama?

>> he's not my president.

[ both smooching, moaning ]

>> tell my story!

>> etch!

What's going on up there?

[ all groan ]

>> oh, lord!

>> [ vomits ]

>> you've got to help that girl,

Sarge.

>> oh, god!

She won't stop screaming!

What does "[bleep] My [bleep]

Box dry" even mean?!

>> this is awesome!

[ squish ]

>> oh! Oof!

Aw, damn it!

I left my favorite toy back at

The dorm.

>> his favorite toy?

>> time to improvise.

>> aah!

>> what's he doing with buzz?

[ plastic creaking ]

>> yes!

And ready for a test drive.

[ lighter flicks ]

>> he didn't. Not buzz.

>> [ inhaling deeply ]

[ water bubbling ]

[ exhaling ] To infinity and

Beyond!

Domino, mother [bleep]

[ laughs ]

>> buzz?

>> buzzed by buzz!

>> you okay?

>> [ goofy voice ] Hello, woody!

[ gasps ]

Do you know what my daddy did?

Poop!

He pooped!

♪ boop-de-doop doop boop ♪

Ah, somebody left some poop in

His pants.

>> it's okay, pal.

We're here for you.

>> and the farmer, he hauls...

Another load away!

Bye, load! Bye, load!

>> [ cries ]

[ voice breaking ] Good night,

Sweet prince.

>> we gonna play tomorrow?

>> you bet, pal. You bet.

>> to infinity...

[ muffled shouting ]

[ shouting stops ]

>> and beyond.

[ cries ]

>> garfield, we have some bad

News.

>> oh, someone got a case of the

Mondays?

>> you have type-2 diabetes.

>> oh, garfield!

Your love of lasagna was your

Undoing.

>> actually, his astoundingly

Irresponsible owner was his

Undoing.

>> whoa!

Garfield plays by his own rules,

Liz.

>> we need to remove all four

Feet.

>> w-what? Hands, too?

>> you don't have hands,

Garfield.

You're not people.

You're a pet with no job or

Income who somehow managed to

Consume enormous quantities of

Italian cuisine year after year.

>> [ sighs ]

How much is this going to cost?

>> oh, about $2,200.

>> uh, no. No.

>> jon?

>> you did this to him!

>> that's like a used car, man!

I can't drop that kind of cash

Into a 13-year-old cat!

Unh-unh.

No.

No!

Negatory, good buddy.

Not givin' you -- no.

>> what's it gonna be,

Garfield two -- dry food or

Spaghetti and meatballs?!

[ kitten meows ]

Excellent.

I knew you'd make the right

Choice.

>> attention, everyone.

We are now in orbit around the

Planet of hot chicks who turn

Out to be monsters.

But they're friendly monsters,

And they're very horny.

Unfortunately, they have

Razor-sharp teeth in their

Vaginas.

Although they do have 10 breasts

Each.

Oh, and the ship is on fire.

[ metallic banging ]

>> everyone remembers the heroic

Heroism that made

Captain "Sully" sullenberger a

Hero.

But while one hero was born,

Another died in the bowels of

The jet engine --

Launchpad mcquack.

For not filing an faa flight

Plan, he and 17 seagulls paid

The ultimate price.

All too common.

The decade we called the '90s

Introduced characters we thought

We'd never forget, and then we

Did.

Darkwing duck remembers.

Launchpad was his sidekick from

1991 to 1995.

>> oh, that idiot!

I lost everything in the flight

1549 class-action lawsuit.

And life, being a cruel bitch,

Now my daughter gosalyn here

Needs money for a kidney

Transplant.

So I've donated my body.

>> to science?

>> to this chinese restaurant.

Let's get dangerous.

Hey, hey, hold on! Wait!

Hold on!

You said this would be humane!

Wait! Wait! Stop! Stop!

What the hell?!

Hey, at least slit my throat

First!

Aah! Kill me!

Come on, what the [bleep]

Aah! Aaaaaah!!

>> live ones cook better.

>> there's waldo.

He hid from our eyes, but never

From our hearts.

Later, he became a follower of

The reverend moonrise sunbeam

And took up permanent residence

On his compound.

Well, I got tired of always

Standing out in the crowd.

From now on, I just want to be

Part of something bigger, man.

>> brother waldo, come join us

For some fruit punch.

>> on august 12, 1998, all of

America played "Where's waldo"

One last time on cnn.

There he is.

Mesagog planned to send the

Earth back to the mesozoic

Era -- that is, until the

Power rangers defeated him with

Mild gymnastics.

Turning humanity into

Dinosaurs -- how's that going?

>> well, I assume you're being

Facetious, since as you can

Clearly see, I'm now the manager

Of a wendy's.

I'm trying to treat it like a

Minor setback.

The big roadblock was the

Dinosaur dna --

>> mr. Mesagog! Mr. Mesagog!

Yo, triple stack -- does it go

Cheese, bacon, meat, cheese,

Bacon, meat, cheese, bacon,

Meat; or meat, bacon, cheese,

Meat, bacon, cheese, meat,

Bacon, cheese; or bacon, bacon,

Cheese, bacon, meat, cheese,

Meat, meat?

I always forget, yo.

>> cheese, bacon, meat, meat,

Meat, bacon, cheese, bacon,

Cheese.

>> for a different perspective,

I caught up with pinky and the

Brain, still incarcerated at

Acme labs as test subjects.

>> oh, the glory days when me

And brain was mates.

Narf!

Moved him to a different cage,

See?

'member his big noggin? Zort!

Thought he was smart, but it was

Paget's disease.

>> side effects include

Crippling arthritis.

Oh, and I'm blind.

>> so, pinky --

>> what'd you say, friend?

You'll have to speak into the

Giant human ear!

Troz!

>> ooh!

Remember daria?

I know. Yuck!

I was anxious to get an

Acerbic, dry-witted take on

The tumultuous '90s from this

Anti-feminine, basically

Asexual, boy-repelling

Train wreck.

Thanks for sitting down with us,

Daria.

>> it's daryl now.

All those years, I thought I was

An exceptionally gross girl,

When, in fact, I was a beautiful

Man.

>> I see. How did this happen?

>> well, first they enlarged my

Clitoris with androgenic

Hormones.

Then they fashioned my labia

Into a makeshift scrotum.

>> [ vomits ]

>> life's a crazy ride,

Especially if you have your

Urethra rerouted.

>> [ vomits ]

Sad fates for beloved characters

From such a recent era.

Let us forever hold them in our

Hearts.

>> dinner is served!

>> dad?

>> this...Still has a face on

It.

>> [ echoing ] E-e-e-e-e-e-e!

[ mid-tempo chinese music

Plays ]