Original subtitles

X-timestamp-map=local:00:00:00.000,mpegts:9000

>> [ gulps ] >> all right.

We've been doing this for four Seasons.

You know the drill.

Fast and hard, people.

[ gun cocks ] >> [ gulps ]

>> blam! Let's give them all a Taste of the bitch pudding!

>> I can't promise everyone They'll survive season five, but

I know you'll make me proud.

Sunshine cowboy, you're new, so I'm expecting great things.

[ crash, clattering ] Let's do it!

>> aah!

[ drumbeats ] >> aw!

>> [ sobbing ] I'll tell your Story.

>> [ sobbing ] I'll tell Seth green's story.

Your story has less commercial Appeal.

>> no! Water!

My only weakness!

Aw, bullets!

My only weakness!

Oh!

[ hollow ringing, wind howling ] [ muffled clanging ]

>> geez, I can't believe they Think a "Saving private ryan"

Parody is still fresh and Original.

>> [ screams ] I need a medic up in this bitch!

>> looks like someone hasn't Been flossing.

>> ow! You one-dimensional son Of a whore!

>> our father, who farts in Heaven, halloween thy name!

>> oh! Who's even shooting at Us?!

>> it's just a metaphor for Season five, stupid!

Aw, "Parent trap," "Mean girls," "Herbie," "Georgia rule."

"I know who killed me."

>> [ breathing heavily ] [ screaming ]

[ machine-gun fire ] >> ba-bawk!

>> ♪ robot chicke-e-e-e-e-n ♪ ♪ robot chicke-e-e-e-e-n ♪

♪ thank you, jesus, we're Renewed ♪

♪ without a paycheck, we'd be Screwed, oh! ♪

♪ I spent mine on meth ♪ ♪ so did matt and seth ♪

♪ I'm not gonna lie to you ♪ ♪ no! ♪

♪ robot chicke-e-e-e-e-n ♪ ♪ robot chicke-e-e-e-e-n, ow! ♪

>> ah-choo!

>> I-is someone there?

[ warble! ] >> [ chitters ]

>> [ sobs ] I tried.

>> sorry, honey, sorry.

I just got to crap like a Bastard.

I can't wait.

[ farting, water splashing ] This is getting -- oh, boy, that

Is -- here comes the second!

Oh, god!

>> so long, assholes!

>> [ screams ] [ siren wailing ]

>> I won't last 10 days in Prison.

>> blockheads, you are charged With murder in the first degree

Of glen gumberson, a.K.A. Gumby.

[ splat! ] [ crunch! ]

[ whap! Whap! Whap! ] [ pop! ]

[ gavel bangs ] How does the jury find?

>> guilty as [bleep] >> sentencing is scheduled

For...

Now, and it's death.

[ gavel bangs ] [ rattling ]

>> [ farts ] >> mom, can we have a snack?

>> wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

>> voldemort! Hey, no-nose!

>> smell you later, sir.

[ laughs ] >> where's your [bleep] Nose,

Man?

>> [ sighs ] I'm sick of all the stares.

I want the nose job.

>> this is a big decision.

You need to be 100% sure you're Ready.

>> [ inhales deeply ] I'm ready.

Cut me!

>> ...A nice nose...

>> that is a great-looking nose.

>> nose.

>> wonderful no-- >> ow!

>> thanks for the new wand, Mr. Ollivander.

>> nothing's too good for James potter.

>> [ groans ] Ow! My [bleep] No--

Ow!

>> oh, do you validate?

>> sorry, no.

>> I'll get you, potter, Someday!

>> hey, voldemort, why so bent Out of shape?

[ laughter ] >> he looks angry enough to kill

That guy's baby.

[ rhythmic clanging ] >> [ sighs ] I can watch my kids

Bang on pots and pans at home For free.

[ clanging continues ] >> please, god, make it stop.

[ loud clanging ] [ groans ]

[ crowd murmuring ] [ trash cans rumbling ]

[ crowd grumbling ] >> I can't do it anymore.

[ creak! ] [ stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! ]

[ creak! ] [ stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! ]

[ creak! ] [ stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! ]

[ creak! ] [ stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! ]

[ kaching! ] [ smack! Smack! ]

[ kaching! ] [ smack! Smack! ]

[ stomp! Stomp! Stomp! ] [ smack! Smack! ]

[ stomp! Stomp! Stomp! ] [ clanging continues ]

[ stomp! Stomp! Stomp! ] [ smack! Smack! ]

[ stomp! Stomp! Stomp! ] [ smack! Smack! ]

[ stomp! Stomp! Stomp! ] [ clanging intensifies ]

>> ♪ oh! Hoo-ah! ♪ ♪ oh! Hoo-ah! ♪

>> I can't take it anymore.

[ click! ] [ bang! ]

[ click! ] [ bang! ]

[ click! Click! ] [ bang! Bang! ]

[ click! Click! ] >> make it stop.

[ click! Click! Bang! ] >> make it stop.

[ click! Click! Bang! ] >> make it stop.

[ bang! Bang! Bang! ] [ slice! ]

[ bang! Bang! Bang! ] [ slice! ]

[ bang! Bang! Bang! ] [ clanging intensifies ]

>> ho!

>> [ sighs ] [ bang! ]

[ ding! ] >> a skydiving proposal?

Baby, of course I'll marry you!

I wish my parents could see This!

>> then maybe you should turn Around.

>> mom, dad!

>> congratulations, honey!

>> now, you treat her right, you Hear?

>> this calls for a toast.

Bubbly, anyone?

>> champagne?

>> what a surprise.

>> amazing!

[ doorbell rings ] >> who is that?

>> [ grunts ] >> [ gasps ] Ted!

>> how could you do it, cindy?

How could you say yes to him?!

[ gun cocks ] >> put the gun down!

>> you're mine, cindy!

[ grunts ] You can't have her!

She's mine!

God damn it!

Take it!

Don't! Don't!

[ screaming ] >> [ sobbing ]

No!

>> oh, shh, shh!

It's okay.

It's all over now.

It's all over now.

[ splat! Splat! Splat! ] [ splat! Splat! Splat! ]

>> ♪ build, build, build ♪ ♪ work, work, work ♪

♪ without the work, we'd go Berserk ♪

>> good afternoon, my doozer Brethren.

Everyone working hard today?

>> you better believe it.

>> we love to work.

>> you are preaching to the Mother-f'ing choir there, my

Friends.

How about you?

You like to work?

>> y-yes.

>> oh, yeah?

What do you like more, putting Scaffolding up or taking it

Down?

>> me love the fraggle rock.

>> yeah, yeah.

Me love the fraggle rock, too.

Let me see your work visa, son.

>> me love the fraggle rock?

>> all right, all right, okay.

Get this guy out of here.

>> m-me love -- >> that is a one-way ticket back

Across the border, son.

Shut it down, doozers!

>> I think we almost won today.

Good effort.

>> oh, shut up, beast man!

He-man put his heel right in my Balls, did a [bleep] Pirouette!

I can still feel them unwinding.

What?!

>> well, I'm sorry, choppers, But your adjustable-rate

Mortgage came due.

>> but -- but -- but this Balloon payment is astronomical!

You never told me that I was -- >> it's called "Fine print,"

Chuckles.

Maybe you need some eyeballs Instead of those eye...

Holes.

>> oh, I'll get the money...

When I crush he-man once -- >> bud, lie to me, but don't lie

To yourself.

You really gonna crush he-man by The 15th of this month?

>> eeeeaaaaah!

Well...

>> that property's, what, 12,000 Square feet?

Duplex that bitch.

>> okay, well, rent's due on the First of the month, and I will

Hold your security deposit in Escrow --

>> dude, I've never got a Security deposit back in my

Life.

>> what?

>> bros!

Our landlord is Jack skellington!

>> all: whoo!

[ thudding, rock music playing In distance ]

[ crash! ] [ crash! ]

>> oh, damn it!

What the -- panthor!

[ cheering ] >> toga! Toga! Toga! Toga!

[ music continues ] >> hey! Douche bag!

Turn this crap down!

>> how do you hear music with no Ears?

>> magic, asshole.

Is that my havoc staff?!

This is a mystical artifact!

You can't just -- >> uhhhhh!!

>> right...Into...My...Eyeholes.

>> ah, skellington!

You are always grinning, man!

>> I'm not grinning!

I'm furious!

Absolutely furious!

>> naw-haw-haw!

You grinnin', man.

You here to party!

>> no! I'm here to...

Tell you...There's a rival frat That's totally talking crap all

About you, man!

>> say what?

[ record scratches ] >> [ gasps ]

>> [ belches ] >> no way!

>> yep.

They say you're not the Number-one frat at eternia tech

Anymore.

>> the hell we aren't!

We'll show those assholes!

>> together: yeah!

Whoo!

[ all cheering ] >> who's the number-one frat

Now, retards?

[ splat! ] >> we'll be right down.

[ indistinct shouting ] >> ahh.

>> you're still overdue on that Mortgage, smurfy.

>> oh, I've got a solution for That, too.

>> what are you doing?!

>> oh, I don't know.

What am I doing?

>> mr. Skeletor, I don't know What you're suggesting, but...

Close the door.

No teeth, okay?

>> yeah, good luck with that.