Original subtitles

(music)

(♪ CREEPY MUSIC ♪)

(rustling)

(pouring)

(grinding)

(wind blowing)

(bubbling)

(whispering)

(blender whirring)

Hey, hey ladies! It's your girl Olivia with my

top three tips to keep him interested,

oh yes, interested, via text. Now, rule number one...

Ladies... do not text him first (voice becomes muffled)

(struggling breaths)

(sighs) (phone chimes/vibrates)

(click)

(sighs)

Olivia: Before I sign off, I have some very exciting news.

I'm hosting a contest for ten lucky fans

to receive a one‐on‐one beauty and relationship consultation

to unlock your most alluring, infatuation‐worthy, self.

So, I'm going to need you to click the link in bio‐

(slam)

♪ ♪ ♪ (scrolls, clicks)

(typing)

(scrolls, clicks)

(ticking)

(knock, knock)

(♪ WHIMSICAL MUSIC ♪) (door creaks)

Um, hi! My name is‐

Sammy Stevens. Likes Johnny but you've never

actually met in person and the only photos he's seen of you

are ten years old.

Your ex left you for a younger woman, which is why you're (typing, phone chiming)

afraid for Johnny to see what you look like now because

you're no longer as young and pretty as you used to be.

(phone locks)

Hmm. I could see you being pretty

at one point.

So, is this the negging portion of the consultation, or...

Behind that curtain is a glass of my signature

"Stay Beautiful" protein shake.

Drink it and your problems are solved.

Drink a shake. That's your solve?

Now, it's very important that you drink it

at the same time every morning.

First month's supply is free with consultation.

And how much does it cost after that?

Well that's a conversation for later, but I promise

once you drink it you will never want to live without it.

Alright! Uh, whatever.

(music swells)

Oh, and Sammy.

Stay beautiful.

♪ ♪ ♪

(♪ FUNKY MUSIC ♪)

(gulps)

(sighs)

(thud)

(thud)

(SCREAMS)

(clanging)

(clanging)

(SCREAMING) (teeth grinding)

(gasping)

(bones breaking) (gasping, grunting)

(heavy breathing)

(back and bones breaking) (SCREAMING)

♪ ♪ ♪

(click)

(pouring)

(scooping)

(slicing)

(blender whirring)

(gulp, gulp)

(click)

(pouring)

(scooping)

(slicing)

(blender whirring)

(gulp, gulp)

(click)

(pouring)

(scooping)

(slicing)

(blender whirring)

(gulp, gulp)

(kissing) (heavy breathing)

(chuckles)

Sammy, look, I don't want to pressure you,

but, um, I like you a lot and‐

You can come in, but you're not spending the ni‐

(chimes)

Mmmm

(click)

Johnny: Hey, uh, who's this?

Wh‐

Is that your sister?

It's me. From a long time ago.

Oh, that's good cause, uh,

woulda been kind of awkward if it was your sister.

I think you look pretty gorgeous.

♪ ♪ ♪

Johnny: That's a nice one.

Hm.

(click)

(♪ ROMANTIC MUSIC ♪ )

(kissing)

(music intensifies)

(coughs)

(gasps)

(coughs)

(♪ HECTIC MUSIC ♪)

(vomitting) (clattering)

(whimpering)

(music stops) (footsteps creaking)

Uh, Sammy, you okay in there?

(♪ HECTIC MUSIC ♪)

(SCREAMS)

Olivia: Thanks for watching! Now, be sure to

like and subscribe below, and as always...

Stay beautiful.

(chuckles)

Smooches!

(♪ CREEPY MUSIC ♪)