All language subtitles for Monk_S06E03_Mr. Monk and the Naked Man.English (CC)

[suspenseful music]

[vehicle approaching]

[touchpad beeping]

Hello!

-[beeping]
-[dial tone]

Hello!

Mr. Magneri. Anybody! Hello!

It's very important.

It's a matter of life or death.

Somebody please answer me.

[touchpad beeping]

Hello!

Mr. Magneri.

Please, somebody… answer me, please.

Oh my God. Please.

Did you follow me here?

Okay, I-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Here. You can take it.

Take it. It's fine.

What is that?

Oh my God. No!

No!

[gasping, whimpering] No… no!

Oh! Oh my God. No, no, no. Oh!

[whimpering]

Help! Please! Somebody!

Help me! Somebody please!

Anybody! Oh… oh!

No!

No! No! [exclaims]

No! No! No, no, no!

-[slice]
-No! [groans]

[gasping, moaning]

["It's a Jungle Out There"
by Randy Newman plays]

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Disorder and confusion everywhere ♪

♪ No one seems to care, well, I do ♪

♪ Hey, who's in charge here? ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ Poison in the very air we breathe ♪

♪ You know what's in
The water that you drink? ♪

♪ Well, I do, and it's amazing ♪

♪ People think I'm crazy
'Cause I worry all the time ♪

♪ If you paid attention,
You'd be worried too ♪

♪ You'd better pay attention
Or this world we love so much ♪

♪ Might just kill you ♪

♪ I could be wrong now ♪

♪ But I don't think so ♪

♪ 'Cause it's a jungle out there ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

[soft intriguing music]

Give me some good shots of her face, okay?

You get those barricades up?

Yes, sir.

[Stottlemeyer] Dr. G. is guesstimating

around 1:00 a.m. at the latest.

Probably midnight.

-Is this a bad time?
-It's this MagnaPod.

Thing's brand-new
and it keeps getting stuck.

I can get to the menu,
but every time I press play, it just goes…

I'm gonna put it away now.
We've got work to do.

And what happened to your gun?

Right here, back pocket.

Well, I use my gun,
what, maybe once a year. Ha.

Use this all the time.

Bet I can guess what you're thinking.

I bet you can't.

Natalie!

Thank you for coming.

Is he okay?

Yeah. Uh, he doesn't like the beach.

-What's he doing?
-Putting on his sand shoes.

-What are sand shoes?
-I don't know.

[Stottlemeyer] We've got
a little problem here.

This is a clothing optional beach.

-Clothing optional.
-Yeah.

Oh.

[gasps] Oh.

[Stottlemeyer] What do you think?

I just want him to look around
a little bit, see if we missed something.

It'll just take a minute.

Oh my God, I see one.

Oh God, they're everywhere.

Oh no, there's another one.
I-I gotta take him home.

This is too risky.

It's too late. Here he comes.

We can do this. Just distract him. Monk!

Hey. How are ya?

There should be a law against
murdering people on a beach.

[Stottlemeyer] Yeah.

Who was she?

Oh, actually, we don't really
have that much.

Her name was Vickie Deline.

Twenty-three. Lived in Mission Hill.

And she worked in a bar.

-What was she doing here?
-Well, don't know.

She parked her car up top,
left her keys in the ignition.

Up the hill?

Why-why didn't she park
down here on the access road?

Any footprints?

No. Uh, it rained this morning.

But body's over here.

-Okay.
-Oh, hey, like those shoes.

Yeah. These are my sand shoes.

[Disher] Nice.

Oh, look at the sand!

Never seen…

-sand quite that color.
-[Natalie] Yeah.

Mr. Monk, what would you call that color?

[Monk] I don't know. Sandy.

[laughter]

Oh, look. A sand dollar.

No, it's just a shell. Here she is.

Here we go.

-What are you doing?
-Uh, just missed my old pal Natalie.

There's a small cut on the forefinger.

Oh, guess Dr. G missed that.

It's like a paper cut.

[stretching] Oh, yeah,
those hurt like the dickens.

-What about all the stab wounds?
-Yeah, they probably hurt too.

There's still sand in it. It's fresh.

Did you find anything nearby?

Any papers or an envelope?

-Not yet.
-Oh.

Well, she was holding something.

Maybe that's what the killer was after?

-She's missing a fingernail.
-Yeah.

Yeah, we got that. Officer!

-You got that fingernail?
-Yeah.

We found it on that porch over there.

-[Monk] Who lives there?
-[Stottlemeyer] Chance Singer.

We haven't found him yet.

Uh, officer… XYZ.

XYZ?

Examine Your Zipper.

Oh, I get it. XYZ.

This might be him now.

Mr. Singer?

I'm Captain Leland Stottlemeyer, SFPD.

There was a homicide last night.
A woman was murdered.

Oh, wow. No. All that negative energy.

It's the last thing the world needs.
Am I right?

Do you know a girl named Vickie Deline?

I know a couple of Vickies.
I'm not so into last names though.

Sir, would you mind
putting your shirt on?

May I ask why?

It would just-- it would mean a lot to me.

Sir, we found a broken fingernail
belonging to the victim

on your front porch.

Where were you last night around midnight?

I was in jail. I just got out.

[Stottlemeyer] Easy enough to check.

Yeah, sir, about that shirt…

I'm gonna have to insist.

[scoffs] All right.

Whatever. Well…

I had one 'cause I had to go to prison.
Okay.

There we are. Now I'm one of you.

Are you happy?

I take it you're a nudist.

I prefer naturist.

You know,
social nudity has been around

for hundreds of years, gentlemen.

Get used to it.

[Monk, muttering] XYZ!

There's absolutely
no biological necessity for clothing.

It's a construct.
It's a man-made artifice.

XYZ. XYZ.

-I'm sorry, I don't know what that means.
-Examine Your Zipper.

Maybe you should examine your attitude.

[Stottlemeyer] Sir, do you mind
taking a look?

-Uh, see if you recognize her.
-Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.

You know, when I first pulled up,
I thought Peter Magneri sent you.

Peter Magneri?
Magneri Computers Peter Magneri?

Yeah, he lives up there.

-He's been hassling me for years.
-Hmm.

Guy owes me 200 bucks.

Mr. Monk, what are you doing?

-You'll go blind.
-I know.

But when?

[Stottlemeyer] Mr. Magneri,
I just need you to look at one photograph

for our investigation.

I appreciate your seeing us, sir,
and believe me,

I understand your time
is extremely valuable.

Actually, a reporter worked it out.

I'm worth three hundred thousand
and twenty-five dollars a minute.

Well, then we'll make it quick.

Do you recognize this girl?

-Never seen her.
-You didn't even look at her.

-Where's my coffee?
-You've already had four cups, sir.

A-and your wife said--

-Oh, do I need a doctor's note?
-No, sir.

I got a clean bill of health from
St. Andrews less than three weeks ago.

They checked me over, head-to-toe--

MRIs, X-rays, blood tests.

Do you know what?
I'm gonna bury the lot of you.

Coffee, coffee, coffee now. [snapping]

She was murdered last night on your beach.

Oh, that's not my beach.

It should be my beach,
but it's not my beach.

Don't even get me started on that.

I didn't actually pay for this, did I?

No, sir, that's a thank-you note
from the children at Lincoln Elementary.

You donated some computers.

The zoning commission meets on Wednesday.
You wanna come?

Sir, where were you
last night about midnight?

I was here.
I'm always here. I was working late.

[Disher] Did you see anyone
or hear anything?

As a matter of fact, there was
a woman trying to get in last night.

She kept on ringing the buzzer.

-[Stottlemeyer] Who was she?
-How should I know?

Well, did she say anything?

Yeah. Something about
a matter of life and death.

-And you didn't let her in.
-What, are you crazy?

Everybody wants a piece of me.

Everybody's problem's
a matter of life and death.

Yeah, I know. Happens to us all the time.

Everybody wants something.

Listen, while we are here,
when I press play on this thing,

why does it keep sending me
back to the menu?

I have no idea. Call customer service.

No, no, no. Ha ha. They kept me on hold
for an hour and a half.

My warranty just expired.
If you could take a quick look at it--

Lieutenant!

Holster your MP3. That's an order.

Is there a security camera by the gate?

-Yeah, but it's broken.
-[snorts] That's a big surprise.

Look at him, out there in public.

[Natalie] Mr. Monk, it's a nude beach!

[Magneri] Ugh. It's repugnant!

[Monk] That's the word. Repugnant.

-Degenerate.
-That's the other word.

Degenerate!

[Natalie] Don't you think
that's a little bit harsh?

[scoffs] We're being polite.

-Where was he last night?
-[Monk] Exactly.

We already spoke to Mr. Singer.

[Magneri] Well, speak to him again.

Oh, he likes to pretend
he's all peaceful and new age-y,

but believe you me, there's a dark side.

[Monk] I believe it.
I can tell. Even from here.

He threatened me once at a zoning meeting.

Hit me with a microphone.

He's a nudist! That's what they do.

They-they hit people with microphones.

Captain.

[soft intriguing music]

He's the guy.

Well, he says he was here all night.
We need to talk to his staff.

Not him. The nudist.

Singer?

No, I already called, Monk.
His alibi checks out.

He was in lockup all night.

I don't know how he did it…

but he's the guy.

I still can't believe it.

She was more than my roommate.
She was my best friend.

I'm so sorry. How long did you know her?

Three years.

We met at a bar downtown.

She was waitressing,

and I was working across
the street at the hospital.

I used to be a lab technician.

-Used to be?
-I quit.

About two weeks ago to play the market.

Day trader? Good for you.

Well, we'll see.
Ask me again in a few months.

[Monk] Sand.

That must be Vickie.
She'd been going to the beach a lot.

To meet a nudist?

A nudist?

Was she seeing anyone in particular?

Uh, I think so.

She'd been hinting about a guy--

Was he a nudist?

Let me put it another way.
Was he always naked?

Mr. Monk, you're not letting her talk.

[Arlene] I don't know.

I think she might have been
meeting him last night.

That's him. I knew it.

-You don't know his name.
-We all know his name.

Can I talk to you?

Excuse us. Come here.

What are we doing here?
We should be getting a search warrant.

We gotta get back to the beach.
Get into his trailer.

Would you relax?
I have never seen you like this.

We're wasting our time. It's the nudist.

-We both know it.
-I don't know that, Monk.

Look, maybe you're right. You usually are.
But I have to do my job here.

I need to dot every I
and cross all the Ts.

-You can appreciate that.
-[cell phone rings]

You don't want any uncrossed Ts, do you?
Just sticking up. Some crossed.

-Some of 'em not crossed.
-Hello.

At different angles.
That would be anarchy, wouldn't it?

-Yes.
-And we don't want that, do we?

No.

Sweetheart, I can't leave just now.
Mr. Monk isn't feeling very well.

He saw a naked man today.

I knew you'd understand.
All right, so I'll be there at 4:30?

I just need to get the address. Um…

'Scuse me. May I use this?

-Sure.
-Kay. Go ahead, sweetie.

CDs, huh?

I've gone digital. 60 Gigs.

Over 5,000 songs in here.
Of course, I can't play any of them.

Okay. Where were we?

-We were talking about the nudist.
-No, we weren't.

-Randy, check your notes. Where were we?
-Uh, right.

Um, did, uh, Vickie have any other--

Oh. There it is.

-What?
-[tinny music plays]

No, no, no. No, no, no.

'Scuse me.

[exhales] Okay.

Did Vickie have any other boyfriends
that we need to know about?

No.

[moody music]

Wait, Mr. Monk.
I don't think we should do this.

-You got a better idea?
-Yes. Not doing it.

The door was open.

-Must've been the wind.
-Don't we need a search warrant?

What about the guy's rights?

[scoffs] All your little rules.

All your little laws.

They don't apply down here.

It's nudie town.

[lightly suspenseful music]

Mr. Monk, it's a petition
to keep beach clothing optional.

Oh, yeah. That could give somebody
a nasty paper cut.

There's a knife missing.

[Natalie] Uh, it's right here.
He was making a sandwich.

[Monk] Oh, this guy's good.
He's one step ahead of us.

-Hello.
-What? What? What?

Skinless chicken.

Seedless grapes.
You see how it's all fitting together?

No.

-Look. Sugar in the raw.
-Okay, Mr. Monk, you're scaring me.

I've never seen you like this.
It's like you want this man to be guilty.

Mr. Monk, there's something
that I have to tell you.

Uh… when I was an exchange student
in Greece--

Oh. Somebody's coming!

The nudists. It's the nudists.
The nudists are back. The closet!

No! There's no room!

Oh yeah. No clothes.

[car doors close]

[Singer] Okay, let me get the lights here.
There we go.

-[man] Do you have anything to drink?
-Oh yeah, sure, in the fridge.

-Anything you want. The water's potable.
-[man] Oh, cool.

So who was she, the girl who was killed?

[Singer] You know, I just know
what I read in the paper.

-She was a waitress from Mission Hill.
-[man] Right.

And they think that you're actually
involved in this somehow.

I'm not surprised.

They're always looking for a reason
to kick me outta here.

-[woman] What was she doing?
-[sighs] You know, I don't know.

I get kids coming down here every night.
Maybe she was looking to score some drugs

or meet a dealer-- I don't know.

-Can we talk about something else?
-Yeah.

All this murder talk's
really bringing me down.

Yeah. It's sad. All right.
To business, yeah, okay.

-So Jenny, can you take some notes?
-Sure.

-Okay, babe.
-Anybody got a pen?

-[man] Why have a pen?
-[man 2] Definitely not.

-[Singer] Something…
-[woman] Whoops, 'scuse me.

-Sorry.
-[man] I saw one in here--

-[woman] Here, I got one.
-[Singer] I thought there was one.

-Oh, cool. Whoops--
-I'm sorry, I just dropped it.

-[Singer] No, it was my fault. Hang on.
-[woman] Went down that way.

-Under here?
-Yeah, right behind you.

[man] No, no, I think you just
kicked it behind you, man.

[Singer] I don't see it.
Maybe under the fridge.

[woman] I can't see 'cause it's so dark.

-[man] Check under there.
-Where?

[man] I'm getting tired of this.
Just get a new pen.

[woman] If I get lower, I can see more.

-[man] No, here. That's weird.
-[chatter]

-[woman] Bend over-- there. Bend over.
-[man] Where?

[man] This is getting tiring.
Can we please find another pen?

[woman] Wait a second.
Isn't that it right there?

-The shiny thing?
-I don't even see it by your foot.

-It's the other foot, the other foot.
-[woman] I have no idea.

-No, Chance's foot.
-Where?

Wait, there it is. I see it.
Wait a second.

-Yeah, it's right there.
-Oh, it's right under there.

-We're good to go.
-Nice grasp.

[Singer] That's funny, doesn't look like
the same pen. My memory…

Slid all the way down there.
That's crazy, huh?

-[woman] Yeah.
-Okay, so item number one.

-Zoning board meets tomorrow.
-[all] Yeah!

Marin County Courthouse. 10:00 a.m.

This is it, people. The Super Bowl.

[Jenny] Ah, what's the use?

Peter Magneri's
gonna buy their votes anyway.

Hey, no negative thoughts. Come on.

-You gotta stay positive. It's our beach.
-We have to chant.

-Nobody can take it from us, right?
-I hope not.

-No, they can't.
-Okay.

We have to remember the petition
and copies of the survey.

And also here's the thing…

we have to go textile.

-[groaning, exclamations]
-Are you kidding?

[Singer] It's just for one day,

and we don't want to do anything
to offend these people.

Plus, I think it's illegal.

Forget it. I don't have anything to wear--
literally.

[Jenny] Huh.

I have an old suit in the closet.
Wanna try it on?

-You want me to try on… a suit?
-Ha ha. You don't wanna try it on.

What about the principle of the matter?

Look, I'm with you,
but, still, don't get arrested.

Oh! Hey!

-[thud]
-[overlapping chatter]

-[Monk] Take my hand!
-[confused shouting]

[Natalie] Mr. Monk, where are you going?

It doesn't matter. Just keep running!

[Singer]
My friends are gonna worry about me!

What friends are you talking about?

You can let go of my hand now.

Where's your warrant?

-Where are your trousers?
-Why don't you people just leave us alone?

We're just trying to live our lives.

So was Vickie Deline.
I know you were seeing her, Singer.

Her roommate told me.

-Her roommate.
-What happened?

She didn't want to join your little cult?

She tried to run. You grabbed the knife.

I did not know the girl.

-Liar!
-I never met her!

-Will you get out of my face, please?
-No, no, no. No, I know that trick.

I step back, I see the whole shmegegge.

-Mr. Monk, are you okay?
-Your friend here is psychotic!

We both know you did this.

-Pervert!
-Mr. Monk!

How? Tell me that!
I was in prison all night!

There are 20 witnesses. Check it out.

Don't think I won't. Natalie, let's go.

[clacking]

He was here all night.

Yeah, booked at 7:30 p.m.

and released at 8:00 a.m.
the next morning.

It was definitely him?

Positive ID.
You want to see the fingerprints?

-What was he in for?
-[Disher] Public nuisance.

He was collecting petitions
at a strip mall.

"Sss-strip" mall.

Doesn't mean anything.
That's what they're called.

Well, he got out. Somehow, he got out.

And back in again.
Without the guards noticing.

Excuse me.

Where did you get that?

From the guard.

How about this?

The guard gives Singer an apple.

Singer chews the apple core
into the shape of a key.

He fashions a rudimentary kiln
using that light bulb

and a sardine can.

He hardens the apple core in his kiln,
and uses it to pick the lock.

Thank you.

An apple core key.

No?

Okay. Okay.

He-he slipped through the bars
and out the bathroom window.

How?

He wiggled through. He's a nudist.

They're all double-jointed.

-They are?
-Randy. Don't be so naive.

They're not like us.

All right, look.

I-I have a theory.

I-I think--

I think they secrete a fluid.

Like an oil.
It's odorless, but I can smell it.

It makes them all slippery.
They can wiggle through anything.

They're like slugs.

Monk, nobody wiggled through anything.
There was a guard on duty all night.

Then he's in on it too. He's one of them.

Well, what about the 20 cops
that are outside?

They're all in on it! Don't you see?

It's a cabal.

-What?
-A cabal. It's a secret society.

Sometimes they're naked.

Sometimes they go around dressed
to confuse us.

-Well, they're certainly doing that.
-Have you read their literature?

I have. They want to convert us all.

And they won't stop until we're all

like them, on beaches, in parks,

hanging out… everything hanging out.

Hanging and hanging.

Captain, there's only one way
to deal with them.

We gotta ship them back.

[Stottlemeyer] Ship them back where, Monk?

Exactly.

Sit down.

Sit down.

Sit down.

[sighs]

Look, I don't know what happened
on that beach Monday night.

I do not know who killed that girl.

-Actually, I have another--
-Let me finish.

Don't you talk.

This is not a conversation.

This is an intervention.

I'll tell you what I do know.

Number one-- it was not Chance Singer.

-Captain!
-Chance Singer was in my jail

all night long.

Number two-- you are off this case.

You--

You-you're defending them?

Monk, this is San Francisco!

There's a million weirdos out there.

Some of them are wearing clothes.
Some of them are not.

And yes, I am defending them.
That's what this means.

We defend them.

[sighs]

I spend a lot of my time--
too much of my time--

trying to keep bigotry and racism
out of this department.

-I am not a bigot.
-I don't know what else to call it, Monk.

You wanna put this guy away
for the rest of his life

because he makes you uncomfortable.

Look, you've always had issues.

But this isn't just
another quirk or phobia.

Like, uh, your fear of clouds
or round things.

This is different. This is new.

And weird.

And ugly.

First of all, I'm not afraid
of round things--

Monk, you're a great detective.

Look at it like it's a mystery.

There's something going on here.

Something's going on inside of you.

Figure it out.

Detective.

I don't wanna see you
back here until you do.

-This is not a fair trade.
-How do people wear these things?

-It's terrible.
-I feel like I'm suffocating.

-I know.
-I'm chafing. Are you chafing?

And does anyone have
any more of that powder?

-I mean it.
-[woman] I think Jenny has it.

Hey, there he is.

Here he comes, here he comes.

[overlapping chatter]

-[man] It's Magneri.
-[woman] Outfit showier.

Peter! Mr. Magneri.
Channel 7 News. How do you feel?

I feel great.

I'm sure the Board of Supervisors
will do the right thing.

They understand that I'm just a taxpayer.
All I want is a front lawn of my own

where I can relax and play with my kids.

[Singer] The problem is, Mr. Magneri,
Barr Beach is not for sale.

It belongs to the people of San Francisco.

Mr. Singer, is that really you?

I didn't recognize you
with your clothes on.

You look almost human.

[group mutters]

California has been blessed
with 1,200 miles of coastline.

Surely there's another beach somewhere
where Mr. Singer and his freaky friends

-can throw their Frisbees.
-[disgruntled chatter]

Look, the real issue here is that
I am a high-profile individual.

I need my own beach for my privacy
and my personal security.

A young woman, as you may recall,
was murdered on that beach only recently.

And the police have been questioning
Mr. Singer about that very incident.

You can't say that.
You can't just accuse people.

I'm not accusing you, sir.
Adrian Monk is accusing you.

Mr. Monk happens to be
the finest detective in San Francisco,

and he has confided in me
that Mr. Singer is his primary suspect.

And you believed him?
Adrian Monk is certifiable.

He was in my house last night
without a warrant, hiding in my closet.

You know, I was gonna press charges,
but frankly, I feel sorry for him.

You know, I hope he gets the help
he needs, I really do.

There's something I never told you.

Something happened when I was a boy.

There was an incident

with a… with a man.

Who was that?

I'd never seen him before. Stranger.

How old were you?

I don't remember.

Young.

I was… so small.

I remember…

I remember…

[voice breaking] I was naked.

Take your time.

I was so naked.

I just hated being naked.

And I remember…

I was crying.

And then…

he hit me.

-Adrian, I'm so sorry.
-There was blood.

There was blood everywhere.

I was screaming. I wanted him to stop.

And my mother…

my mother was smiling.

W-w-wait, your-your mother was there?

Why didn't she stop him?
She was supposed to protect me.

He kept hitting me.

Swinging me around upside down, and…

You were upside down?

Was he wearing a mask?

I never wanted to be naked again.

Adrian, that man was a doctor.

You're remembering your own birth.

Doctor… doctor?

Anybody else, I wouldn't have believed it.

But you… [chuckles]

-Doctor?
-Mm-hmm.

Well, that would explain a lot, actually.

The lights, and my father

in the doorway holding a balloon.

Mm-hmm.

[exhales]

You feel better?

[chuckling] Yes.

I do.

[Kroger laughing]

Wow.

That only took 11 years.

Hello!
Sorry, the door was open. Natalie, listen.

Mr. Monk, I'm so glad you're here.
I was just about to call.

Something happened.
I was talking to Dr. Kroger.

-I remembered something.
-Mr. Monk.

There's something I've been trying
to tell you. When I was 19--

-Is this gonna be a long story?
-Please let me finish!

I was an exchange student in Greece.

And there was this
beautiful beach that was about

three blocks away
that I went to all the time.

-Great.
-And this is the thing, Mr. Monk, um…

It was a European beach.
Which means… topless.

I don't care. I had a breakthrough.

I was a nudist, Mr. Monk.
I was one of them.

I went back four years ago,
so technically I guess I still am one.

I was in the cabal.

No, Natalie, forget that.

I mean, maybe it means you can't work
with me anymore, but I don't care.

I'm not apologizing for it.
I met the best people.

It was the most amazing time of my life.

Great. Natalie, listen.

I am not that guy anymore. It's okay.

I had an amazing session with Dr. Kroger.

I went back.

I went way back.

Way, way, way, way, way back, back.

Back, back, back, back, back.

And I got past it. This whole naked thing.

I understand it now.

-Wow.
-Yeah. And guess what I just did.

I walked through Bishop Park.

You know, the big statue?
The nude statue of the nude woman?

[imitates blasting lasers]
I looked right at it.

Mr. Monk, the statue
in Bishop Park is a man.

Okay, I glanced at it.

But I wasn't completely
and totally repulsed.

I didn't black out. And I didn't throw up!

Wow. You know, there's a word for that.

-Progress.
-Progress, that's me.

Only 312 other issues to go!

Well, I guess we'll just
take 'em one at a time.

Let's start with dryer lint.

Hey, I guess this means
you owe Chance Singer an apology.

Yeah, I guess I do.

Maybe I'll bring him something.

Like a bottle of wine or some overalls.

What's this?

What?

Oh, a note.

No, I mean this stationery. This is…

This is from Vickie's roommate.

I remember you needed
a piece of scrap paper.

St. Andrews Medical Center.

Radiology, Natalie.

Radiology.

[whispering] Oh my God.

I think I know what happened.

-To what?
-To the girl, to Vickie.

Now that I can think straight.

I know who killed her.

-[Stottlemeyer] Ms. Boras. Afternoon.
-What are you doing?

Searching your apartment.

The yellow copy is for you
and your lawyer.

You worked at St. Andrews Hospital.
Is that right?

You were an X-ray technician.

Did you ever meet Peter Magneri?

-Who?
-Peter Magneri.

He founded Magneri Computers.
They make these.

I thought yours broke.

Yeah, I bought another one. 90 Gigs.
Figure life's too short, right?

[tinny music playing]

Mr. Magneri had a checkup July 23rd.

That's four days before you quit.

I got a clean bill of health
from St. Andrews three weeks ago.

They checked me for everything,
head to toe.

We just spoke to the SEC.

Apparently, since July,
you've been very interested

in the Magneri company,
except you haven't been investing.

You've been selling short.
You've been betting against the company.

[music continues quietly playing]

Randy. Turn it off.

I'm sorry. It won't stop.

Here's what happened.

Three weeks ago,
Magneri went in for his checkup.

You were the lab tech on duty.

You must have noticed something
on his X-ray, something serious.

Something that could kill him.

[Natalie] It was the ultimate piece
of inside information.

[Stottlemeyer] Literally inside.

[Monk] Peter Magneri
is Magneri Computer.

You knew if anything happened to him,

the stock would plummet.

All you had to do was switch X-rays

and put a different label on it.

Magneri got a clean bill of health.
Nobody knew how sick he really was,

not him, not even his doctor.

But you knew.

You quit your job
and started selling short,

betting against the company.

When Magneri died and the stock crashed,

you'd make a small fortune.

At some point, Vickie found out.

Maybe you were looking for a partner.
Maybe you were just bragging.

But Vickie wasn't like you.

She couldn't just sit back and do nothing
and wait for another human being to die.

She tried to warn Magneri.

You knew you had to stop her
by any means necessary.

That night, Vickie told Magneri
it was a matter of life or death.

She was talking about him.
His life or death.

[Stottlemeyer] You chased her down.

You killed her on the beach
and you took back the X-ray.

That's insane. You don't have any--

Proof? Mr. Monk found this.

It was hidden behind your toilet.

Behind your toilet.

-[music stops]
-Got it.

I don't know what she was thinking.

I was even going to share
the money with her.

Tell that to Vickie's family.

You're under arrest.

[Monk] You understand…
if anything happens to Magneri,

anything that could've been prevented,
it'll be two counts of murder.

How bad is it?

That spot--
it's called an aortic aneurysm.

He's a heart attack waiting to happen.

Any excitement, any stress at all,
could kill him.

My God… the zoning board.

This is Disher.
We're on route to the County Courthouse.

We need paramedics standing by.

Repeat-- paramedics standing by.
ETA ten minutes.

[dispatcher] Roger that.
Paramedics are on their way.

[cheering]

-What?!
-[gavel pounding]

What kind of verdict is that?

You're pathetic, all of you!

Mr. Magneri, please sit down.
The decision of the board is final.

I will not sit down. This is a travesty!

They don't even pay their taxes!

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Oh, thank God. Mr. Singer,
it's Adrian Monk. Don't hang up.

Oh, Monk, I don't want
to talk to you right now.

I'm in too good a mood.
We just won our case.

Ugh, the hippies won.

Is Peter Magneri still there?

Yeah. Why do you care?

You gotta trust me.
It's a matter of life or death.

-What do you mean, life or death?
-[Monk] Just listen.

Oh, put your clothes back on, you freaks!

Oh, this isn't over.

I'm gonna appeal this
all the way to Sacramento!

-We can't appeal. It's a--
-Shut up!

You are so fired.

[Singer] Uh, Mr. Councilman,
members of the board.

Please, can I have your attention?
If I could I have everyone's attention?

Uh… the Naturist Beachfront Committee

would like to withdraw its petition
at this time.

-What?
-Are you crazy?

[board member] Mr. Singer,
the board has decided in your favor.

We've granted your group the rights
to that property in perpetuity.

Well, we're giving it back.

You know, we were talking about it,

and-and the beach is a little rocky
for our tastes,

a little tough on the feet,
so we're gonna find another beach.

-[nudists protesting]
-Are you crazy?

Wait a minute, Singer.

Is this a trick?

No, my friend. This is no trick.

You've won. The beach is yours.

You've won. It's good. Breathe.

Relax. That's good, sit.

Let me adjust your chi.

-What's going on?
-Mr. Magneri.

Sir, we need to get you to the hospital.

-Hospital?
-Trust me, sir.

You're a very sick man.
I'll explain everything on the way.

He's right, sir. I've seen your X-rays.

We've got an ambulance waiting downstairs.

-X-ray?
-Hi. Remember me?

Listen, I don't want to upset you or
anything, but, uh, my MagnaPod died.

No, I-I bought another one, the second one
I've bought in three months.

-Randy, give it a rest.
-No, it's no big deal.

You see, it just keeps
getting stuck on "menu."

So, I mean, and my Walkman never did that.

Well, get yourself another Walkman!
Leave me alone.

Well, I-I will, but…

-[Stottlemeyer] Randy…
-[Disher] Just put it in your ears…

Randy, Randy, Randy!
Let me listen. Let me listen.

You're right, it's broken.

Hello.

-[Singer] Hi.
-[Natalie] Hi.

-You're moving?
-Oh, yeah.

Moving on up.

Peter Magneri bought us our own island
down the coast.

Well, it's the least he could do.
You saved his life.

Oh, well, yeah, sure. I'm his neighbor.
That's what neighbors do, right?

-Mr. Monk?
-Yeah, look at that cloud.

What does that cloud look like to you?

Huh? What cloud?

Oh, there's a cloud. Way up there.

You guys talk.
I'm gonna keep looking at it for a while.

Well, hey, if you're ever in, uh,
San Diego, give us a call.

You won't have to crouch
in the closet this time.

-[chuckling] Okay.
-I'd love to.

But I promised Mr. Monk
I wouldn't be visiting any nude beaches

until five years after he's dead.

Mr. Monk, wasn't there something
you wanted to say?

Uh, yeah. Chance…

I'm sorry for hating you
and accusing you of murder,

and I've learned a lot,
and I'm a better person.

Hey, you know, we're all just caught here

on this crazy, big blue marble
doing the best we can.

Am I right?

-Yeah, right.
-Right?

Come here.

-Come here.
-[Monk] Huh?

Come here.

He wants a hug.

Come on. Come here.

Little closer.

Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Good.

Good.

Oh, yeah.

You're a good hugger.

You smell good.

[inhales, exhales]

Good.

Good! [inhales, exhales]

Thanks.

-You want a wipe?
-No, I'm good.

["Naked Man" by Randy Newman playing]

♪ Old lady lost in the city ♪

Mr. Monk?

♪ Middle of the cold, cold night ♪

Mr. Monk?

♪ It was 14 below
And the wind start to blow ♪

Mr. Monk!

♪ There wasn't a Boy Scout in sight ♪

♪ When he faked to the left
He faked to the right ♪

♪ He snatched the purse from her hand ♪

♪ "Someone stop me," he cried
As he faded from sight ♪

♪ "Won't nobody help a naked man?" ♪

♪ "Won't nobody help a naked man?" ♪

♪ Beware, beware, beware
Of the naked man ♪

♪ Beware, beware, beware
Of the naked man ♪

[theme music playing]