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Just a sec.

Oh, my pants.

Hold on, let me set up the phone.

- How should we do it? - You show me and I show you?

- OK. - On the count of three.

One, two, and…

Wait, wait!

- Too late. - Oh, there it is.

Sorry, I just wanted to tell you

that the gardener hasn't trimmed the bush.

- Same here. - Yeah, I can see.

Oh, my phone.

Nope. That'd be my… Never mind.

Oh! Sorry.

Oh! Oh, Danny.

- Ana… - I want you to… fuck me!

What? Don't be dead!

There!

- Phew! - OK, let's go.

LOVE IN YOUR FACE

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for choosing this flight 427

from Los Angeles, California, to Madrid, Spain.

We will be landing at 4:20 PM on March 7, 2020.

The local weather in Madrid is 48°F. Thank you for choosing us.

Dumbass!

You OK?

MARCH 2020

Yeah, I'm just nervous about the audition.

- Why? - It's a real chance, in a real movie.

Great, Ana, because you're a real actress.

You perform every night at the theater,

doing this for years.

Yeah, I'm the dopest of all the dope actresses.

I'm living the dream, dude.

Approaching my forties, living with a roommate,

and giving my mom excuses of why I'm not fucking Penélope Cruz.

Maybe it'll be different.

Maybe they might want me.

Maybe, Ana.

You gotta drop that attitude,

"Get a haircut and get a real job."

"You won't make it. Give up on your dreams."

Yeah, like an old bitter drunk.

Exactly! That's what they'd say here, but listen to the sound of America.

And what does that sound like?

A whiny teenage brat with arrogance and hyperglycemia?

You have to believe in yourself.

- You're the best! - Stop saying that shit!

What about the American dream?

I've woken up from it.

When I was six, I found out meritocracy and Santa weren't real.

Ana, I believe in you. You're the best!

- Oh, shut up! - You can make it!

You just gotta believe in yourself! Yeah, Rock N Regan!

♪ Children of the fire ♪

♪ Wake up, wake up ♪

- No way! How are you? - Victor! How are you?

On my way to the studio. I'm casting for my new movie.

- I know, I'm auditioning! - No way!

Get out of here!

Well, then don't go yet. Sorry, were you on a call?

Yeah. He's in Spain.

- Ah, yes, the motherland. - Hi.

He's the director of the movie I'm auditioning for.

- Oh. She's the best. - Yeah, I know. She's amazing.

Is he your boyfriend?

- No… - No.

- No… - Sorry.

Yeah, no. Well…

He looks like a nice guy.

Oh, thank you.

Why don't you hop on? I'll give you a ride.

No, that's OK. It's just a short walk, right?

- Your "phone-friend" doesn't mind. - No.

- Come on. - "Phone-friend"?

- Funny… - Oh, because we're on the phone!

- Dickhead. - Oh, charming.

- Nice to see you too. - I'm sorry, I was…

I'm fine, but Dad's not answering, is he OK?

- I texted him before the flight. - Did he text you back?

Yes, of course, he said,

"Have a good flight, son. I love you.

- I'm proud of you…" - Yeah, OK. Daddy issues, duly noted.

I'm worried about this COVID thing.

They say it affects mostly older people.

- Dad! - I'm just… I'm just worried.

I mean, Kathy said I'm going a bit paranoid.

- Maybe I am. - Oh, shit.

Wait, what is it?

Oh, my god! Check his pulse!

Dad! Dad!

Oh, God.

I'm concerned by all the cases in Europe.

- Kathy said Italy's locking down. - Maybe!

Please look after Dad, I'm worried...

- Dad, what's up? - Nothing much, opening a cold one.

- Great, thanks. - Fuck off, this one's mine.

- I'll get my own. - None left.

- Better go out and buy more. - They don't sell alcohol this late.

You act like you're my father. OK, I'll go then.

Wouldn't want you to do something illegal

for once in your life.

- Hi. - Hi, Kathy, what's up?

- Are you in Spain for work? - No, I'm renewing my visa.

They make you go all the way…

- He's just a wuss. - Weren't you leaving?

And wants his visa with the official embassy stamp.

- What? - My brother's just a control freak.

All to live in that country with that fascist Trump!

As if I'm with him at the White House.

Son, that man is off his rocker. He's nuts.

And he wants to build a wall on the Mexican border.

Almost like the fence between Europe and Africa.

- Are you fucking defending him? - No.

You see the mote in your brother's eye

- and not the rafter in yours. - Bullshit!

Look what's going on here.

Don't compare the fence with Morocco

- to what this fool wants to do! - Whatever.

Let's change the subject. Let's drop it.

Oh, sweetheart.

- He always needs to be right. - What about Sarah?

She went with Boris Johnson and Brexit.

Hey, I didn't migrate to England.

We're British. Mom's family is here.

Leave your sister alone.

She's got enough with being a mom and a working lesbian.

I'm leaving because if I stay here…

Parents.

- You love them, judge them… - Sometimes you even forgive them.

- Mom, can I play with your phone? - No.

- See? - No? Why?

Looking at screens hinders your frontal lobe development.

You're aware you're on a phone.

Yes, but my frontal lobe is perfectly developed.

The only one with a limited attention span here is you.

I gotta go. Someone's calling.

Wait! Is it the human you're binging?

Sorry, but I don't binge anyone.

Of course you do! You don't go out with girls,

you stream them in a weekend like a show.

Maybe this time it's different.

Is she your girlfriend or what?

Girlfriend? That's too fascist.

- Fuck heterosexual privilege. - Gotta go. Bye!

- Hi! Are you home? - Hi!

- What's up? - Hey! How was the audition?

Good. It went great.

- Good. We gotta go. - I have to tell you something.

- Talk later. - Hi, Danny!

- Hi! Bye! - I'm sorry.

How was the audition? You knew the director, right?

Oh, yeah. Victor is a friend.

Holy shit! What's the movie about?

Is this silly superhero thing, super sexy, super Latina...

Super.

Super degrading, dude. It's super whorey.

- No, it's great. I like it. - Really?

- It looks like… - Holy shit.

Dad, I'm a bit occupied.

If you're gonna watch porn, close the door at least.

- Don't listen to him. - It's live?

- She's just a friend. - Right, a friend.

She's an actress!

Here we call them sex workers.

Can you just leave?

Economic liberalism is a trap for women!

- Sorry about that. - Was that your dad?

That's my dad. Sorry.

Don't worry. You should meet my parents.

- What? No, thanks. - Oh, OK.

No, I just don't like meeting parents or introducing parents.

- Parents are toxic. - It's super apparent.

I thought you had a great relationship with your mom.

- I did. - What happened?

She died and left us with this man.

I'm so sorry! I didn't know. You never talk about her.

Well, because she's dead. I'm joking.

I mean, she is dead, but… Sorry.

I'm sure your parents are great.

Yeah.

Mijita, you need to find a good man.

I'm worried. You're already 40 years old.

I'm not 40, Mom.

Well, you look like it.

Find a man who loves you.

- Yeah, like Dad… - No, no, mijita.

You can do better.

Yeah, you know how to cook.

Look, if you don't like my food, don't eat it!

You're starving me so you can cash in on my insurance.

He sure likes eating my chochitos pie.

Papi, Mom tells me you're staying

- in Tijuana for a few weeks. - Yes, Grandma doesn't want to leave

- for Los Angeles. - Shut up!

How was the audition with Victor?

- Great! - You getting back together?

Oh no, Mom.

What a pity, you made such a beautiful couple.

Especially him. Oh, papacito!

My mind is elsewhere.

- Are you with someone? - Well, yes. No.

Here we go.

He's just a friend!

- Not another gringo, please! - No. He's half-British.

That's worse! They came here and killed our people!

And the other half?

- Spanish. - Fucking hell. Ole.

Even worse. Those assholes raped our native women!

- How is raping worse than killing? - Believe me, I know.

- Have you ever been raped? - How would I get raped?

- The casting director! - Bye, sweetie!

Bye, Mom!

You got it? Congrats!

You see? After 20 years busting her ass off in this shithole city…

Ana has finally made it to Hollywood!

Congratulations.

When you come, let's go wild and celebrate.

You're gonna do anal?

You're just friends. Only vaginal.

- You're so… - Vulgar?

Graphic.

Thanks for the euphemism. You really touched my pussy.

My boss keeps texting from the hospital.

It's your day off!

It's this COVID shit. Here they're going crazy.

- When are you going to the embassy? - Tomorrow.

Hi, Diane! How are you?

So?

I think you were right. This might be it.

I hope I'm ready for it.

I think we are.

We are?

I was thinking about our relationship and being together…

- No, no, no! - No?

Trump's on TV!

Can you turn up the volume?

…including all travel from Europe to the United States.

- You gotta be shitting me! - Ana!

They just canceled all flights from Europe.

- I can't believe it. - I gotta make a call.

To whom? The White House?

Flights are only operative for Americans.

And Green Card holders, but I live in Los Angeles.

But on a temporary visa.

Only permanent residents, Green Card holders

- can enter the US. - My life is in Los Angeles, my job…

- Calm down. Get him some water. - What?

You won't get on a plane with a European passport.

But you have a UK passport.

So you may be able to return if you do it in the next 48 hours.

I don't want to do anything illegal.

Oh, my god! It's not illegal.

- My visa is expiring. - It's good for another two weeks.

- And after that? - Brits can still enter.

But I don't want to get caught and lose everything I've worked for.

- This is serious. - Trust me, I'm your attorney.

Don't be so paranoid.

I'm perfectly aware of your situation, David.

- Daniel. - Daniel.

Look, you can make it, but you gotta hurry.

Do you have your original application?

- It's in my place. - OK. Can anyone get it for you?

I'm going to your house.

Brian, I'm going to the airport. Send me a photo of the file.

- My battery's dead. - Why are you calling then?

So you could know.

- Brian, please. - Don't worry, man. I'm with Charlie.

Call Charlie.

Not funny, dumbass.

- Open the door. I'm peeing. - Hurry, I've got a date.

10-19-54.

Let me guess, 20-year-old, actress, model, daddy issues…

No, this is serious. She's not underage.

- She's married. - Oh, come on.

The sex is much better.

You can't fuck anything that moves.

No, she hardly moves.

The key is under the plant.

Guys, I'll call later.

- Where's the document? - In my room. Bye.

Hey, where are you?

Here, in the middle of a COVID party.

Don't risk it.

No, don't worry. I'm at the airport in 20 minutes.

Hey, I just came back from Production.

You fascinated them!

Yeah! I love you!

- Who's that? Dennis? - Danny.

They love her! They love her!

That's great.

Ana?

Ana?

Hello?

- I thought I lost you. - Me too.

- I gotta go. Talk later. - OK.

If I don't die first.

Last call for passengers boarding flight…

- I was speaking to Ana. - This one hasn't dumped you yet?

No, dickhead. We're doing fucking great.

- She's doing a movie. - What movie?

- The director's a bit famous. Victor… - Victor Harmmond?

You know him?

- Yeah, Nina works on that movie. - No shit.

- She says it's huge. - Oh, what's huge?

- Is this what you need? - Yes, please, send it to me.

Hey, is this Victor?

- Where did you find that? - Oh, Nina follows him. Look.

Nina? My Nina?

My wife?

You follow my wife?

No, I don't follow your wife.

Your wife follows me.

- And Victor too, it seems. - What?

Maybe she just wants a real man to look at.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, Danny. That guy is super fuckable.

Very fuckable. Better watch out, dude.

But he works with your wife. Dumbass.

Isn't there a flight to Liverpool or Manchester, anywhere?

I am telling you that at this moment…

- Seriously, you gotta watch out, bro. - Would you stop that?

I'm serious. You barely have sex with Nina!

That's not true!

That sounds believable. She already told me, man.

She DM'd me.

I'm sure she just slithered into your DMs and…

Absolutely. She wanted to know if I wanted to have a threesome.

Actually, no. It's more of a cuckold. That's when we do it and you watch

- and then just beg us to stop. - Charlie, enough!

That's the spirit.

You're sick, man.

"Charlie!

He's looking at me weird. I wish you'd make eye contact!

Charlie!"

Charlie, look at this.

Oh, shit.

Here we go again.

Please proceed urgently to gate number…

Don't say anything until he comes back.

- I'm not gonna say anything. - He's gonna freak out, man.

How did it go?

- Unmute it. - There aren't any tickets, man.

- I'll have to stay here. - That sucks.

- It fucking sucks. - Sorry, bro.

Charlie! I told you not to tell him!

I didn't tell him anything.

Tell me what?

That you dated this guy.

I can't speak now. When are you coming back?

- I'm not. - Because of this?

- There just aren't any flights. - Who told you?

Not you. I had to find out on social media.

- I don't have shit on my socials. - Victor has photos with you.

- From when? - I don't know. Years ago?

You stalked his profile to see photos of me?

No. He posted them, Ana.

Three years ago!

It was Brian and Charlie!

Oh! Your BFFs. That makes it less immature then.

Immature?

You're the immature one for not telling me.

What do you care about my fucking body count?

- That's water under the bridge. - Can you be more specific?

- You can't get jealous over this! - Me? Jealous of what?

Because you think he's hotter and has more money

- and is more successful… - I think so? Fucking fantastic.

I'm mad because you didn't tell me.

Now you see why, dude!

I knew you'd be insecure and paranoid.

Don't turn this on me. I'm like this because you didn't tell me.

Because I don't have to tell you shit.

We're nothing.

Oh, OK.

You're the one who didn't want a relationship.

- You don't even believe in love! - That's you!

You're philophobic.

You mock anyone who dares to be hopeful.

Oh, now I'm hopeless?

- Don't play victim. - Don't play hero.

When I mention a relationship, you fuck around!

- You're fucking around! - When have I fucked around?

The other day when I mentioned getting serious

and you changed the subject.

- That's why you asked about Victor? - What? Fuck off!

Because you knew I'd be on set with him?

- Yeah, fucking Victor! - I'm not fucking Victor.

No, fuck him! It's an expression.

Alright. Let's stop fucking around.

- OK. - Do you want to be with me?

I don't know. Do you want to be with me?

- Let's drop this. - No, I can't do this right now.

- Yeah, yeah. - I've gotta go.

- Let's drop this. - I've worked for this for years.

Yeah, yeah.

- Excuse me? - What?

- What did you say to me? - You're the one saying things.

You're calling me insecure, paranoid, jealous…

I can't do this right now, I only have a lunch break...

- Ana, you're breaking up. - What?

- You're breaking up with me? - You're breaking up…

OK, dude. That's perfect.

Let's fucking break up then.

- What the fuck…? - You fucked me over!

- What are you saying? - Fuck you!

- Fuck me? Fuck you! - You dumbfuck!

You're the dumbfuck!

- Fuck your mom! - Fuck yours!

- Go to fucking hell! - Fuck you!

- Go to fucking hell! - OK. Go listen to Maná. Fuck you.

SPRING

…to unleash the full power of the Federal Government,

I am officially declaring a national emergency.

…the state of alarm in all Spain.

…and that's why, we'd be asking people to stay at home.

…to avoid the spread further.

The country applauds health professionals.

…from balconies at 8 PM every day.

Spain is undergoing Europe's strictest lockdown.

Stay-at-home orders make friends and…

…family communicate via video calls.

More than 300 million people use…

…video conferencing as a means of holding work…

COVID has brutally hit Hollywood.

Dozens of films halting production as the outbreak…

…is now mandatory to wear a face mask.

…face masks at every…

…forcing companies to hold interviews via video conferences.

Hello. I can't see you.

Hi. I'm here.

You have to switch on the camera.

- It's switched on. - Hello?

Now I can!

The camera needs to be on for the interview.

It was on.

For this teaching role, we want a man… or woman…

or teach... A she… a he… a human?...

Someone with languages for online classes.

Tell me about yourself.

Well, I'm a screenwriter and teacher.

At my last job, I was a content creator

- at a company in Los Angeles. - Why did you quit?

It looks like a good job.

COVID got me stuck here and my visa expired so…

You've had many different jobs.

But I worked as a teacher for four years.

Well, thank you for coming. We'll give you a call.

You don't want to ask me anything else?

Is that lamp from IKEA?

- What? - The guy is nuts!

He emailed me today to offer me the job.

Fuck him. I don't need the money.

Brian, can you lend me a hand?

Fucking apocalypse! No one is taking it seriously!

Nina, why did you buy so many cans?

Brian, we need to be prepared.

For what? A nuclear war?

Nina, we live in an apartment, not a bunker.

What are you doing?

- I forget, you know. - The food, not the mask.

Don't come near the food with those hands!

Nina, OK. I'm sorry.

Not here! Wash them over there!

- I'm going out. - What?

To buy bread.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

How's work?

Work or Ana?

Oh, I forgot you work together. With her ex.

- What's his name, Vincent…? - Victor.

That's the one. Victor. How is he?

He didn't fall of his bike and get paralyzed

from the waist down, did he?

See? I told you he wasn't over it.

- What? - Yeah.

You're head over heels.

I was the one who dumped her.

In fact, I have a Zoom call with her today.

We've got a meeting about the shoot because we had to stop production.

Today?

Yes, Brian, today!

Why don't you ever listen to me?

A few crew members got COVID.

Is everyone OK?

Oh, honey, you look like shit.

- I think I got it. - Got what?

- Fucking COVID. - I can't believe it.

Who got you sick? That blonde bimbo? Your roommate?

- No, Natascha moved out. - Really?

With her boyfriend.

I'm sure it was someone on set.

Or the Amazon guy…

Did you screw him? Was it like a COVID porno?

- I'm not kidding! I need help. - Me too.

I can't find any toilet paper.

Sorry, excuse me, do you have any toilet paper anywhere?

- No. - I'm dying…

Paper towels? Wipes?

A map? Tracing paper? A fucking ticket?

Girl, I'm so tired of rinsing my pussy when I pee

as if I was fucking Marie Antoinette.

Sorry, what are your symptoms?

- Fever? - No.

- Coughing? - No.

- Fatigue? - Yes.

- Trouble breathing? - No.

- Sore throat? - No.

- Fatigue? - Yes.

- Loss of sense of smell? - No, but some smells make me sick.

Do you think I need a COVID test?

No, a pregnancy test.

- Don't fuck with me. - Touch your tits.

- Fuck! - Yep.

No, no, no, no!

You gotta be shitting me!

You're fatigued, nauseous and sensitive to some smells.

- When did Uncle Tom last visit? - Who?

T.O.M., that time of the month.

Your period, your menstruation…

I'm sure the same son of a bitch who invented heels named it that.

Now's not the time for jokes. I'm going to the drugstore.

Without a mask? Are you crazy?

That's like running into an episode of The Walking Dead.

Carla!

Are you wearing a bra?

- What? - Brassier, tit holder…

- Are my nipples showing? - No, silly.

You can use it as a mask. Some women do it.

- Where? In prison? - No, Sheila told me.

Sheila's tits are huge!

That bra is not for COVID, is for fencing.

- Do you want me to buy it? - Where are you?

There you are.

Alright, run!

What the hell is going on?

Ah! Behind you! What is that?

It's not because you're homeless. It's COVID!

I voted for Bernie, I voted for Bernie!

Don't hurt me!

I'm not pregnant, I'm not pregnant.

I'm not pregnant, I'm not pregnant.

I'm not pregnant, I'm not pregnant.

I'm not pregnant, I'm not pregnant.

You know you can call me later, right?

Sorry, I know it's gross.

A golden shower?

At least buy me a drink first.

So?

- Ana. - Fuck it.

Shit.

- Hi! - Hey! What's up?

- What time is it there? - Almost 8 PM, I think.

I can call you later.

How's it going?

How's your visa going?

No… How are you?

- You first, please. - No, you.

No, you!

Three months. I have to wait three months.

Oh, three months.

Yeah.

What about you?

Have you been writing?

No, I haven't done much more than watch TV

and eat and…

- Yeah, sleep… - Yeah, drink…

And clap…

- And drink and eat and sleep. - Oh! Clap?

Yes, we clap for health professionals.

Every day at 8 PM, we clap from our windows.

It's like in Italy. Really touching.

- Like paying tribute… - We don't have that in the US.

Public healthcare?

No, the applause, dude.

They do it in New York.

Well, not in Los Angeles.

Yeah, but you don't live in buildings.

It's not like you can do it alone.

I can. You don't think I can do it alone or what?

Many women do it.

Do what?

Clap.

I…

You…

- You know what? Forget it. - OK.

- What? - Nothing…

I know they canceled your movie.

- Postponed. - Yeah, whatever.

And now you call me.

You think I want to get back with you?

- No, no, no. - No, dude, relax.

- Fix things, maybe. - Apologize?

- You don't have to. - I wasn't going to.

OK, great. Then why are you calling?

I'm pregnant.

Congratulations.

You dumbass!

You can't have a baby!

You're such a dumbass!

Fucking great, guys. Thanks.

I've been married for years and you…?

- You couldn't pull out? - What?

Are you sure it's his?

No, I'm between him and five others.

- Really? - No! Who do you think I am?

Relax, you screwed three guys in one weekend.

I was young, it was my time to experiment.

That was last year, Ana.

What am I gonna do? I can't even go back yet.

Fucking COVID.

At least you're not alone. No one wants to hang out with me.

- This is so hard. - It's hard for everyone.

I'm talking about my dick.

- Oh, come on. - Yeah, you wanna see it?

- No! - I haven't had sex in weeks.

That's why I work out, so the blood goes somewhere else.

I'm hanging up.

- Let's get back to Danny's problem. - Thanks.

- He's fucked. - Huh?

What's the problem? He did it.

Congrats! You knocked her up and left the country.

You beat the record, man.

What will Ana do?

Option A, you have the baby. Option B, you get an abortion.

I haven't thought about option B.

I mean A. Which one is the baby option?

A.

But baby should be option B.

A is option A.

You see option B as A and A as B?

No. A is for A and B is for B. It makes sense, right?

Socially speaking?

Alphabetically!

A is fo A and B is for B. See?

Can we call it "abortion"?

Yes!

You know how expensive it is to have a fucking baby?

Daycare, childcare…

Toys, diapers, formula, school…

Why do you think Nina and I don't have fucking babies?

Because you don't bang her.

I'm gonna shoot myself.

Buying a gun in this country is much easier than having an abortion.

- Less questions. - You think she wants an abortion?

No! No one wants it.

It's the last resort. It's taboo.

Have you ever seen a rom-com where they even consider it?

It wouldn't be romantic.

Or funny. Imagine Julia Roberts saying,

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy,

asking him for an abortion."

Oh, but no one saw an issue with us

watching her in Pretty Woman and dreaming of becoming whores.

Amen.

I can't be a dad. I can't have a baby. I hate them.

You hate babies?

I hate parents, I don't want to become one.

Has Ana thought what she's going to do about the movie?

About losing the opportunity I've been waiting 20 years for?

She told me the movie is fucking dope.

It's horrible.

Typical Hollywood bullshit with hypersexualized female stars

for bros all hyped about war and patriotism.

Am I right? Am I right?

- Go for it! - Yeah!

- Fucking awesome. - Yeah, man.

How hostile.

- But some things about it are cool. - Like…?

I'm in it.

Or I was!

I can't be a pregnant superheroine!

What are my superpowers? Morning sickness and mood swings?

What if the movie get postponed? Think about what you want.

Not about the movie, not about what you're socially programmed to do.

I don't know what I'm socially programmed to do.

Having babies, obviously!

Really? I don't think society wants me having babies.

My mom? Definitely. But society?

I feel it's telling me to put fame and fortune first

and postpone motherhood until I'm forty-something.

Society is telling you that?

Maybe just my Instagram, but still…

And what do you want?

Hey, son. What's wrong?

Ana is pregnant.

What?

Yeah, motherhood is great.

As long as it's not born mid-pandemic.

FA, sweetie. FA!

FA, FA, FA...

Fuck it!

Kathy!

You've never liked kids and now you wanna be a dad?

- Excuse me? - You hate kids.

- What? - He loves me.

That's true. I love… Ben.

And the other one.

Because before that, you loved their mom.

- You love Ana! - You're crazy!

- You do, you love her. - No, no, no.

- And you wanna have her baby. - Not at all.

I just read your message.

No, please, don't do it! Drop that thing.

- Ana, I want to have this baby. - Really?

Yes. No. I don't know. I think so.

- But don't do it, please. - It's just a checkup.

Weren't you going "to the clinic"?

Yes, the maternity clinic. I'm here for an ultrasound.

And that stick?

It's for a vaginal ultrasonography.

We introduce it in the vagina and…

OK, got it. Thank you. Sorry.

It's just…

Bye.

- What did you think it was for? - How would I know?

Hitting or sucking the…

I've never had an abortion!

I just knew I had to come and stop it.

- Calm down, you only made a call. - Yeah…

But I had this whole speech on responsibility

and prioritizing our humanity to our social agenda.

- Oh, fuck off. - It sucked.

In the end, I asked you to give love and life a chance.

- I'm getting nauseous. - Sorry.

No, I love it when you get all pro-life.

Dude, calm down. Don't worry.

I decided I want to have the baby.

- Really? - Well…

I decided I don't want to unhave it.

OK. I just want you to know I'm with you 100% of the way.

Not "with you" with you, like together,

but I am with you, I mean halfway across the world.

It's not funny. Ana, are you sure?

No… Are you?

No… But we're doing it, right?

Looks like it.

- I hate myself. - I hate you too.

- You need to put your mask on. - Yes.

Sorry.

He's the father.

Yeah, the baby's father, not her father.

I am sorry, I just… I'm nervous.

Is that a condom?

I'm not a doctor, but I think it's too late for that.

Ah, Chihuahua motherfucker!

♪ I'm facing love ♪

♪ I'm facing love with you ♪

It's so cute.

- Congratulations, Danny. - Thanks, we're very excited.

Hello? Danny?

Nina, could you stop eating?

Are you serious?

Hey, hello?

You wanted to celebrate our anniversary!

Brian?

I spend all day slaving away in the kitchen! OK?

Do you hear me?

- What is this, Brian? - Careful!

I feel like I'm living la vida loca here.

Hello, Brian?

Hey!

Why?

You OK?

Everything's fine.

That's why we haven't fucked in six months!

Thank you. I'm so happy you're taking it this well.

Of course, Ana. Babies are always great news.

Unless they're mine, of course. I'd never bring a human into this…

This shitty world.

Thank you.

You know, right now, the only thing that matters in the world

is this movie and COVID.

And the people dying from COVID.

Ana, calm down.

Gal Gadot was pregnant when she did Wonder Woman.

Victor, I gotta go. Thank you so much.

You're the best.

Kick it up a bit.

- Hi. - Hi!

- What's that? - Oh, long story.

I was talking to Victor.

- I can call back. - No, I finished.

- No problems with the pregnancy. - Congrats!

Shit, that's great.

Sorry for making a big deal about Victor.

I lost it since I couldn't fly back and got insecure and jealous…

I'm sorry. He seems like a great guy. Why did you break up?

His penis was too big.

Danny, I'm fucking with you!

Victor is a guy who's only in love with himself.

I think I didn't tell you that Victor was my ex

so you wouldn't think that's why I got the role.

I see.

- Still thinking about his penis? - Yeah.

- I should've told you sorry. - No, I should have.

I should've said I'm sorry and that I want to be with you, Ana.

Ana?

Ana?

You froze!

- You too. - What did you say?

- Did you hear me? - Did you?

My medical insurance got canceled!

I'm fucked!

What about the COVID relief?

I can't request more unemployment compensation.

I used it all up.

Here you'd have public health insurance.

No shit! No wonder you clap every day for them.

- Fucking America. - Thanks to that there's Breaking Bad.

What?

A teacher with cancer becomes a drug dealer to pay for treatment.

We can't do it here, "Scene 1: cancer diagnosis.

Scene 2: State pays for treatment. The end."

- Danny! - Yeah?

- Shut up! - Yeah, sorry.

I'm pregnant and I'm not insured!

OK, let me help. I can pay for insurance.

You don't have money!

Um, hi.

Hi, everyone. My name is Daniel and I'll be your Spanish teacher.

Hola, soy Daniel y voy a ser vuestro profesor de español.

- ¡Hola! - ¡Hola, Daniel!

Sorry. Go on, guys. Go on.

It's OK.

OK, why don't we start

introducing ourselves?

Podemos empezar presentándonos.

¿Alguien quiere empezar?

Sharon?

I'm Sharon and this is Mika.

In Spanish… Whatever.

Hola, Sharon, ¿qué tal?

We are here to learn Mexican.

Spanish.

Oh, OK.

Anyone else? Greg?

Hi, my name is Gr...

Sorry, you're breaking up.

I have a stutter.

- Dick. - Merley?

It's Marley, like Bob Marley.

Love it. Get up, stand up.

That song doesn't work for me.

Guys, why don't we go… just get right to it.

Let's do it!

♪ I know it's true ♪

♪ That I am meant to be with you ♪

♪ Like mac and cheese ♪ ♪ Jack and Jill ♪

♪ We will stick like glue ♪

♪ How can we go wrong? ♪

♪ Why? Wonder why ♪

♪ I was, oh, too proud ♪ ♪ To drop my guard ♪

♪ Now I can see ♪

♪ This is up to you and me ♪

♪ Even if I could fall ♪ ♪ Flat on my face ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪

♪ I gotta face love ♪

♪ Wanna face love ♪

♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ I'm all in ♪

♪ Raising the stakes ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪

♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ Wanna face love ♪

♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ Wanna face love ♪

♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ I could fall flat on my face ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪

♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ Face love ♪

♪ I just gotta face love ♪

♪ Face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ Face love ♪

- So you admit it? - Yeah.

I'm in love!

In love with the peanut butter flavor chocolate granola…

- Almonds. - Shit. Almonds granola bar.

Why are you auditioning for this shit?

Aren't you filming a movie?

Who knows when we start shooting again?

You OK?

Something's just been on my mind.

Oh, sex. I hear you.

What? No.

I get it. I'm a nurse. I can't catch COVID.

It's been real rough.

I can't do a PCR on anyone I want to fuck

and isolate them until it's negative. That'd be kidnapping.

If I keep doing a ménage à moi, I'll rub my fingerprints off.

It's not sex. I'm great in that department.

Well, far from great, but who is doing great?

At least Danny and you can do things online.

- I don't see it. - His dick? Is it too small?

Buy a bigger iPhone.

We're not together. Can we get back to my problem?

You're the one making a big deal about sex.

Yeah. I need a man. Or a woman. Or a hand.

It's like playing cock, paper, scissors.

OK, take care, bye.

No, sorry, sorry! Tell me.

Whatever it is, I'll help.

I have to tell my parents I'm pregnant.

No! Nope! No way I'm helping with that.

Why me? Tell Danny to do it. This is his doing.

- My dad hates him. - Why?

Because he hates any guy I've ever been with.

There's always something to hate.

Either he's too tall

or too short,

or he's not Mexican or too Mexican.

Oh, OK, that's where you get it from.

What?

Once you realize that the person you're dating

has the slightest defect, you cut him out

and tell him to fuck off.

- When have I done that, dude? - All the time, dude.

For you, it's like buying things on Amazon and then saying,

"Oh, no, it's broken" or the "The packaging is damaged,"

but you actually realized you didn't need it.

Shut up, I didn't do that with Danny.

- He just wasn't what I expected. - What was he? Jealous? Controlling?

- Actually, he was. - You see? You see?

So you returned him and clicked on "Doesn't match description".

I also do that. Everyone does.

Some return them because they've found one cheaper

and others because they arrived too late.

In my case, I only return damaged packages.

I gotta go save lives. Bye.

Por favor, corte los setos, pero no el ciprés.

Please cut the bushes but not the cypress.

That's okay, Sharon.

But we're supposed to create phrases in Spanish for everyday use.

I have to talk to my gardener!

How considerate. OK, let's…

- Hey man! - Brian! What are you doing here?

I've tried calling you, but you wouldn't answer.

- I'm working. - I know.

I paid for a lesson to get the link.

I'm in the middle of a Spanish class.

Lo siento, amigos. Excuse me mucho.

I'm sorry, was that racist?

Shit, now Ana's calling.

I love her! I'll send her the link right now…

- No, Brian, don't! - Nina left me, man!

- Who's Nina? - My wife.

We've been growing apart since the lockdown.

This pandemic is driving everybody crazy.

Brian, I'm really sorry.

I'll call you when I'm done. Bye.

- Oh, hi! - No.

- No, Ana. - Hi.

- Who the fuck is that? - His girlfriend!

- They're just having a baby together. - Brian, no!

- You're having a baby? - Nice!

- I'll call you later. - Sure.

- Why aren't you dating? - They're in different countries.

In fact, I'm here to invite you to dinner.

You and me.

Just the two of us...

And my parents.

I haven't told them I'm pregnant.

What the fuck!

So you're in Madrid, Daniel.

Yes, I grew up here.

We love Spanish accent. It sounds so classic.

I've heard that when we say "Good morning",

you hear, "Good morrow, 'tis a splendid day…"

Did you eat clown for breakfast?

- We love Spanish TV shows. - Yes, we love them.

Like Money Heist?

"Give me all the money! Give it to me! Give it to me!"

I think I lost my connection.

Your connection is fine.

Ana, what did you want to tell us?

Nothing, Papi. It doesn't matter. I don't even remember.

- Ana. - I'm twelve weeks pregnant.

Hello?

Now I did lose the connection.

How could you get pregnant by this dumbass?

We're going to LA!

With that fucking face!

- Those Spanish bastards came... - Stop talking!

They came to rape our women and take our booty!

- What about our booties? - Not that type of booty.

- Like a pirate's booty? - Oh, come on!

He's half pirate because he's British.

Enough! Calm down. What matters is that they're together.

When's the wedding?

- Christmas. - What?

I mean, never.

- There's no wedding. - Will you live together?

We're not a couple.

So the Spaniard just came to dunk his churro?

So you're fuck buddies?

What's this? Just sex?

No, no. I mean…

It wasn't just sex. I mean we did have sex.

But it was good.

I mean, not the sex. Well, the sex was great.

What I'm trying to say is that there was love.

That I loved her.

- You loved her? - I didn't believe you did.

Me neither.

What do you believe, Ana?

- Me too. - You believe it too?

- That I love him. - You love me?

I loved you.

- That you love or loved me? - What do you think?

- That you love me? - Yes.

I believe so. Do you believe me?

Yes, I love you. I mean, I do want to believe you.

You want to believe me?

I believe you.

I believe you too.

This is the part where they kiss!

Why didn't you tell me you loved me?

And risk getting rejected by you? No, no way.

My British half doesn't know how to lose

and my Spanish half doesn't know how to win. No way.

You should've said it.

No way. I was born in the United States of America.

We think the world revolves around us.

Yes, but you're also Mexican. Your Latina part didn't say, "Do it"?

Yes, ahorita.

So, now what?

There's not much more we can do.

- You want a jacket? - No, I'm not cold.

No, dude. I mean you… And I…

Play air guitar?

No, dude! You jack off and I'll jill off!

Okay, sorry.

- How should we do it? - You show me and I show you?

OK. On the count of three.

One, two, and…

- Wait, wait! - Too late.

Oh, there it is.

Sorry, I just wanted to tell you

that since we hadn't planned this, the gardener hasn't trimmed…

the bush.

- Same here. - Yeah, I can see.

- Do you want to take off…? - Sure.

Let's go.

Oh, my phone.

Nope.

That'd be my…

- Never mind. - Oh! Sorry.

- OK. - OK, let's do this.

- Are you looking at me? - No, I'm checking my email.

- I'm just nervous! - OK.

- Shall we talk? - About what?

- The state of the union. - Stop it with the joking.

- Sorry. - You're turning me off.

- I'll do the talking. - OK.

- Oh, Danny… - Ana.

I want you to… fuck me!

What? Don't be dead!

Phew! OK, let's go.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, Danny, I'm so…

So… what?

- It's breaking up. - I want you to...

What? It's freezing.

- To fill me with... - Ana, it's breaking up.

Wait, Ana. Stop!

- Ana, it's breaking up. - To fill me with...

Ana, it's breaking up.

Ana.

Ana.

Ana!

It's breaking up.

- Wait. - No, no, no…

Wait.

- You haven't finished? Sorry. - I'm almost there.

There.

- What the hell are you...? - No! Get out!

- Holy shit… - I'm teaching a class! For fuck' sake!

Shit. Someone's calling.

-Danny, hi! -Hi, Erika.

I can't talk right now. Can I call you later?

What?

- I can't talk. - Are you naked?

What?

No, I'm in the middle…

What is it, Erika?

The embassies are opening next month

and I got you an appointment to renew your visa.

Oh, my god!

That's great, Erika!

It's like a document, they say.

Only Green Card holders and residents are allowed in the US.

- Did they stamp your visa? - Yes, but it's not enough.

Apparently, I need some sort of waiver…

Erika? Erika?

- Erika! - I know, don't worry about it.

The waiver is like a special permit given to people on other visas

that need to return to work in the US.

Just ask your employer for one.

- I don't have a job in the US. - What about the one you had?

- I lost it! - Why?

My visa expired, remember?

This is why we're having this conversation.

Well, shoot.

- You'll have to get another one. - Now?

- Yes. - Like any job?

Um… no.

As a writer and you can't be replaceable.

You have to be like a company asset and…

- What? - You need a letter from your employer

stating how valuable you are and…

that the government needs to let you in because you are a…

person of national interest, yada, yada, yada…

This is huge. Why didn't you tell me any of this?

Well, fuck me!

I thought you had a great job at a production company

so I assumed it would be easy.

God! Didn't you stop to think about my visa?

- Everything OK? - No.

- I lost my job when my visa expired. - Why?

Immigration extended expiration dates on visas

for non-citizens working in the US.

- What? - We thought you knew!

I could've kept my job as a TV writer?

You know how much money I've lost?

I've been teaching Spanish for half the money!

- We sent an email. - You didn't!

- Yeah, we sent it to everyone. - No!

- Right, Billie? - Yeah.

- Where is it? I'm checking my email. - Check "Others".

- Junk folder, maybe. - Check your spam.

- It's not here. - Maybe you deleted it.

- Probably that. - I can see all my emails.

- It's not here. - I know we sent it right there.

Sure, here it is.

- Okay. - Yeah. It's right there.

Read it to me.

- Billie… - Me?

Yeah, you. I forgot my glasses at home.

You are at home, Erika.

- "Dear Daniel…" - Oh, my god.

- "This is an email to inform you…" - OK.

- "You…" - Billie, send me the email.

- No, stop typing! - No, I got it right here…

- Share the screen! - I think his connection is…

- Billie? - Yes, my connection is...

Danny, I gotta go.

In the meantime, you just need to find someone

working for a big studio willing to give you

a petition letter on your behalf

to the United States Government.

I got a meeting. I gotta go.

Bye!

SUMMER

The state of alarm is finally over in Spain.

These last days,

we've recovered great part of normalcy in our lives.

Hydroxychloroquine. Try it.

The pandemic's impact on pregnant women…

The pandemic is bringing out the best of us, but also the worst.

The United States borders are still closed

to passengers from Europe.

He was handcuffed, pinned to the ground…

Police brutality and systemic racism has to stop.

More than 60 countries have protested in solidarity.

People are making great efforts to stay positive.

Hey, I can't talk. I'm in a baby care class.

- OK. - You know what?

Let's start our breathing.

Breathe in…

- What about Danny? - He forgot.

- Typical. - He had a meeting with his lawyer.

He wouldn't forget if the baby came out of his ass.

You OK?

The baby just kicked me.

Holy hell! What's that about?

She's not even pregnant. See the one in blue?

That's their Ukrainian surrogate.

Fucking Hollywood! You go to a birthing class

and end up in an episode of The Handmaid's Tale.

They're TV producers.

Black lives matter!

- Have you spoken to Victor? - No.

I don't know what's up with the movie. He doesn't answer.

Other productions have already started.

Maybe Ofwarren there can give you a job in exchange for your baby.

I don't think so. Too brown for her.

You could say diversity is trending.

Another little kick?

Yeah, every time I laugh.

I'm sure it's a boy.

He thinks you're laughing at him, so he gets insecure and kicks you.

Typical male inferiority complex.

- Are you a psychiatrist? - Almost. Argentinian.

But this Friday we'll find out if it's a girl or a boy.

Right, the gender reveal.

You don't want to know?

Yeah, but there's no need to do an online event

to celebrate the baby's genitals.

It's not like we're throwing an award ceremony

and opening an envelope to say, "And the winner is… Vulva!"

Or "Testicles!"

That'd be amazing!

"I'd like to thank my father

who unfortunately couldn't cross the Pacific to be here.

- He is truly sorry." - Danny will make it.

He has it all under control.

No, dude, not a chance.

No one can fucking get me a fucking waiver, for fuck's sake.

I'mfucking lost. I'm like Lost lost.

But not like the characters at the start of Lost,

but like the writers at the end of Lost.

- Wow, that's super lost. - Yeah, I lost it.

- Holy shit! - Look who it is!

- Woah! - Where were you, man?

- Just been busy doing some things. - Like what?

Getting my shit together, cutting my hair, shaving…

I don't know, things you two should consider.

- What's that? - Is that your TV?

No, no, no. There's a girl here. You guys don't know her.

- A girl? - Actually, two girls.

Doing what?

Knitting. What do you think we're doing?

- I'm in a threesome. - In a threesome?

In the pandemic?

I'm sorry, but we've got to get back to normal some time!

No, that's not normal.

I'm the crazy one?

Mr. Flanders here is wearing his mask in his car.

I'm wearing my fucking mask in my fucking Uber.

- Uber? - Nina left me.

Nina left you?

- I don't have unemployment. - You have someone in your car?

I'm wearing my ear piece. You're fine? He's fine.

- Why didn't you tell me? - You never answer.

- I said I've been busy. - Yeah, doing orgies.

That doesn't matter now. Brian, what happened? Why Uber?

Oh, right. I'm pathetic, right? The white man driving an Uber.

You think I'm white trash, don't you? Just say the word!

It's two words, Brian. White trash.

He doesn't know.

You're also white.

But with a British accent.

- That's true. - And he speaks Spanish.

- That's true. - Now that's exotic.

- I am exotic. - Laugh it up, guys!

You know, I get it, I'm white.

I'm not cool anymore. I don't have a community.

Yeah, you do. The police!

That is so unfair, Charlie. You know, I've had it up to here.

Would you like to speak to the manager?

- No, Brian! - Brian, Brian, Brian.

- We're fucking around. - Hey, white man rules!

- Of course. - I'm not crying.

It's not about you, guys. It's Nina.

I miss her, alright?

I'm not crying.

I'm just gonna drive my Uber

and listen to my music for white guys.

- Brian… - At the risk of being redundant.

- Don't do that. - Don't get all Dawson's Creek now.

♪ To hide ♪

♪ I have been waiting too long ♪

♪ Gotta love you from now on ♪

♪ There is nothing left… ♪

This pandemic made me spend so much time with Brian.

The more time we spent together, the more I realized…

that I can't stand him.

- I get it, Nina. - You hate me.

Yes, I do, sorry, but Brian is my friend.

He's a mess. Give him another chance.

I'm the one suffering the most here.

I see…

So, when are you coming back?

First, I have to work out something about a waiver.

It's like paperwork…

Like a work contract to authorize your visa.

How do you know?

We've had to do several for the production.

Could you help me?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- Yeah. Can I stay at your place? - Huh?

Brian told me your apartment in LA is empty.

- Yeah… - I've been weeks at an Airbnb.

I don't want stay with anyone and I'm running out of cash.

- Let me stay and I'll do the waiver. - Brian would kill me.

No need to tell him. Just until you come back.

No, Nina. No fucking way. I'm sorry.

This is also hard on me. I'm running out of money.

Brian can't find out.

Perfect!

I'll talk to my boss at the shoot.

What shoot?

What are you shooting?

Nothing?

LONDON

They are firing her because she's pregnant?

- Nina didn't say. - Tell Ana.

I can't or Nina won't get me the waiver.

I can't tell Ana in her state.

What state? California?

She's pregnant, not sick, you cave man!

I know, thank you. I'm not Fred "fucking" Flintstone.

Not only is she pregnant. She's alone, in the pandemic…

And tomorrow we've got the genital reveal party…

- Baby gender reveal party. - Yeah, whatever.

That party where parents find out if they're having a boy or girl.

- And if the baby isn't cisgender? - What?

What if they're transgender, pangender, queer…?

Kathy, it's a party, not Pride Day.

Excuse me? Check your transphobia.

I can't say it because I'm a lesbian?

You better check your homophobia then.

- I didn't expect that from a woman. - Now you're misogynistic?

- Me? Misogynistic? - Hello?

Can we get back to me?

- Tell her the truth./Wait! - Wow, OK, thanks.

- You want my opinion? - That I should tell her.

Don't tell her if you don't want, but don't convince yourself

- you're doing it for her. - Oh! I like that shit.

That mic drop right there.

Congratulations!

- It's a girl! - Yeah, a girl!

- It's a girl! I'm so happy. - Thank you, Mami.

Better a girl than a boy.

They're smarter and work harder. At least here.

- Thank you, Dad. - Yeah, thanks, Dad.

- Are you alright? - It's just a cold.

- Get tested. - He's a heavy smoker.

I'm a normal smoker.

- Danny, where's Charlie? - He doesn't answer.

Have you picked out a name?

- Olivia. - I like Isabel.

What, is she going to be the Queen of Spain?

- Enough. - How about Dora?

- Like Dora the Explorer? - No, like my mother.

- And Sophia? - Another queen!

And again. We're not monarchists.

My uncle and grandfather were executed for being Republicans.

- I like Tina. - Mom, come on…

That's the name of my character in the movie.

- Exactly! - No! Tina the Latina?

Half Latina.

Three fourths. My son is half-Spanish.

Since when are Spaniards Latin?

- Don't start. - They're not Latin!

Then what are we? Chinese?

No, you're Caucasian.

- Yeah, straight from the Caucasus. - Armenians are Caucasian.

Spaniards are European. Hispanic, not Latin.

I'm Argentinian. Most of us descend from Europeans,

but we're considered Latin.

- It's all the same for the US census. - You were born in Latin America.

So? Ana was born in the United States.

My ex was born in Mexico. Is she Latina?

Oh, sure. Oh, Shit!

I'm from Equatorial Guinea, Africa's only ex-colony

that speaks Spanish. What am I then?

- Afro-Latina? - Yeah, Cardi B.

Sorry, it's my manager. It must be about the movie.

A Mexican telling a Spaniard he is not Latin

is like a Spaniard telling an Italian.

They were the first Latins!

The Romans also came here to conquer our land.

We used to be Celts, Iberians…

That's why you have the blood of conquistadors.

And we know it all too well because my great-great-grandmother

was raped by a Spaniard and got pregnant.

Then you have more conquistador blood than him.

What are you talking about?

Your ancestor was the conquistador.

Mine was in Spain fighting against Queen Isabel II.

Who cares about conquistadors?

Enough!

Hispanic or Latin… It's all the same.

What unites us with Colombians and Peruvians

is that we're all American.

Not Trump. Not Biden. Not George Washington.

We are America.

Descendants of the Cherokees or the Navajos.

And we're also descendants of the Inca,

the Maya and the Aztec peoples.

Latin Americans.

African Americans.

Native Americans.

But white people don't call themselves "European Americans".

We are the Americans!

I got fired.

- What? - Oh, my god!

- Why, sweetie? - Are you shitting me?

They changed actresses. My manager just told me.

What did they say?

Some bullshit about wanting to go in a different direction.

In Hollywood that means someone more fuckable.

- What? - Hotter.

- Can't you sue them? - Don't stress, sweetie.

What matters is that Danny has the waiver

and you'll be together soon.

Why didn't you tell her?

- In front of her parents and Brian? - You could've called her back.

I'm at the airport. I've got the waiver.

Is Dad better?

- Was he in his room? - He hasn't come out all night.

- Are you listening? - Can you hear me? Hello?

- Can you hear me? - I can't hear you.

Danny!

Can you hear me?

Is everything OK?

- The movie? Victor? - Yeah.

Super great. I can't wait until Danny comes.

Then forget about the movie,

that dickhead Victor and focus on Danny, the baby

- There he is. - And nice things like that.

Ana, what are you…? No!

- No! Is that Victor? - I just want him to explain.

Ana, you're crazy.

- You can't do that. - The hell I can.

This asshole thinks he can fire me and ignore my calls?

- He's messing with the wrong woman. - No, Ana, what are you doing?

- I'm following him. - Where? To a 50s movie?

Brian, I'm at the airport.

I drove by your house.

- What? - I just drove by your house.

Brian, I can't hear you.

The lights are on.

- There's light in your house. - It's OK, Brian.

I think Charlie left it on

three months ago when we were at your place.

Forget about it. It's fine.

Shit. Can you hear me?

Hello? Do you want me to go in?

Don't go in, Brian.

- go in. - You want me to go in?

- OK, relax. - No, Brian!

- I'm going to your house! - …go in!

He'll recognize you.

Better. I'll make him come up to me, explain

- and then I'll pull his dick off! - What if his reasons are valid?

Then I'll pull his dick off first, just in case.

- I'm here, dude. - No.

- Right outside your building. - Get out.

- No, Brian. Shit! - I'll go in.

Brian… No… Don't…

I can't hear you.

But I'm going to your place.

No. Brian! Forget about the key.

Put the key back. No!

- Got them. - No!

Shit, don't open.

Who's that?

That's Brian's ex. They work on the movie together.

Where do you think they're going?

- Brian… - I think you've got squatters.

Should I call the police?

I'm renting the house out, Brian.

I didn't know, sorry.

Get out of there!

Really? Could you stop that? I'm talking here! Brian!

Is that Nina's jacket?

Shit.

What's happening?

Wait. They're turning.

- Where to? - Danny's street.

Carla! The patient in room 6 needs a ventilator.

I'm busy!

Dumbass.

They're parking.

- What were you thinking? - I'm sorry, man.

You know what? I don't care.

- I'm leav... - What's going on?

- Someone is coming! - Get out, Brian!

It's Nina!

- What are you doing? - I'm hiding, OK?

If Nina finds me in your living room she'll think I'm a psycho.

How is hiding in the closet any better?

- I'm stuck. - Get out!

Give me five minutes.

Fuck. She's with a man.

Get out. Get out. Get out!

Do you have tomorrow's shooting schedule?

- Fuck! - Yeah, it's what I'm looking for.

What the hell are they doing at Danny's?

- He didn't tell you anything? - No.

I'm gonna call Victor.

Shit! She's calling again.

- Victor! - Ana? You haven't told her?

Yeah, the producers told her we're going in a different direction.

Wow. That's so Hollywood for, "We want someone more fuckable."

Should I tell her we fired her because she's pregnant?

- You're such an asshole. - I am.

What am going to do with you?

I can think of a few things.

- No! - Come here!

Fuck yeah!

What the hell are they doing at Danny's?

I think this relationship is over.

Did he go in?

Yeah, he's in.

- Fuck! - No!

- Yes! - Fuck, I think he sees me!

Fuck you!

He's just looking at himself.

- Here comes The Hunt for Red October. - What?

Have they finished?

- I think they're gone. - OK, get out of the house.

Fuck!

Fuck yeah! Fuck!

Beat that shit! Beat that shit!

Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck it, I'm going in.

- What are you looking for? - She's got a gun!

No, I'm getting my mask.

- I'll call back. - No, I want to know!

How about next time you show a bit more enthusiasm?

Me?

Were you expecting someone?

Oh, Ana!

- Where is he? - Shit.

What the hell are you doing here?

- He's letting me stay. - What's this about?

- Yeah, right. - Dude.

Shut up.

She's calling me. She's calling!

She's calling! She's calling.

I can't answer. Hang up, Brian.

Hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up.

You gotta be fucking kidding me!

What the fuck? How long have you been in there?

Oh, hi, Nina.

What a coincidence.

Hi, I'm Brian.

Who the fuck is this man in your closet?

He's my ex.

What's that? Are you recording this?

- No! - You're recording it!

No, I'm on a video call.

Hi.

Danny, what is this about?

It's not what it looks like.

What it looks like? No one knows what the fuck this looks like.

- I didn't know he was renting you it. - No.

- You're renting her your place? - No.

He's not renting it to me, he's letting me stay for the waiver.

That's Danny! You're Daniel? I got you, motherfucker! I got you!

- Sorry, I couldn't tell you. - Who? Me?

Neither of you. I didn't want to hurt you.

- Who? Me? - Neither of you!

Oh, no. You knew she was fucking this…?

This what? Come on, man!

- Come on, man! - Guy.

I swear I didn't know she was with this wanker.

What does that mean?

That you're an asshole.

We know you fired Ana because she's pregnant.

- What? - OK...

Alright, alright.

Wow, wow and fucking wow!

And you, motherfucker, let's start telling the truth.

Dicks on the table.

- Victor… - Let's tell the truth. Tell the truth.

What do you mean? What does he mean?

Nina told me you were fired two weeks ago.

- Danny? - Yeah.

I was gonna tell you…

Yeah, now get out of here!

Because I always win. I win!

And you, motherfucker, forget about your flight.

And forget about the waiver because it's gone now, motherfucker!

- No more waiver… - Asshole!

Bitch!

I've had enough!

You…! God!

So strong.

Huh? Baby beard…

Huh? You bastard.

- Ana… - What the hell, Danny?

I'd expect this from any of these motherfuckers,

- but not from you. - I wanted to tell you, I swear,

but I couldn't.

You didn't want to fuck up the waiver.

No, I also wanted to protect you, to help you.

Oh, my knight, my savior! What would I do without you?

Oh, put my movie above your fucking waiver!

- You couldn't do anything about it. - You don't know that!

I would've lost my chance to be with you for the birth.

We could've come up with something together.

- Why don't you trust me? - I do. Why do you think I did this?

Because you need to control everything.

Control your work, your visa, your family, your girlfriend,

your baby… Everything.

I wanted to make sure I'd make it on time.

Stop it!

Stop pretending you did it for me because you did it for you.

That's why you didn't tell me.

Because I was afraid.

That's your problem, Danny.

You make decisions out of fear instead of love.

Ana…

Danny,

Dad has COVID.

FALL

I think this was a blessing from God that I caught it.

This was a blessing in disguise.

The President is recovering from COVID…

Joe Biden, the Democrat…

The US Election between Biden and Trump…

I inform you that the Government has just declared

the state of alarm in Spain.

Experts urge citizens to be extremely cautious

in this second wave.

This is still the best vaccine as of yet.

Hi, my name is Allison Delroy, I am 5'9,

I am based in Los Angeles, CA, and these are my profiles.

Hi, my name is Lola Sánchez and I am 5'7.

Here are my profiles.

Hi, I'm Ana Castillo and I'm 5'2.

These are my profiles.

Wait a second.

- You asked for profiles? - Ana.

I'm sorry.

You can't do this commercial.

- Why not? - Honey, you're pregnant!

Oh, this? No, I mean, I can work, really.

Eight months.

Nope. No problem.

You can't reject me because I'm pregnant.

- I'm sorry. - Oh, wow!

Oh, wow! I'm gonna have to talk to the union about this.

- Honey, I understand. - Why?

- I'm a feminist. - Why can't I do this?

This is a commercial for birth control pills.

- Photoshop, maybe? - I'm sorry.

♪ No jingle bells ♪

♪ Just worn out shoes ♪

♪ No silent night ♪

♪ No presents wrapped ♪

♪ How I get here ♪ ♪ I have no clue ♪

- Jesus! - What?

You look like Jesus with that beard and hair.

- Very funny. - Right, sorry.

You have COVID, sorry.

No, all my tests have been negative.

Really? Well, you look awful.

Dad's been isolating for weeks.

Did you call Ana?

- Oh, Danny! You look like shit. - But it's not COVID.

No? Then what? Ebola? AIDS?

He just hasn't heard from Ana in weeks.

Call her.

Then what? Apologize? Admit he's fucked up?

- No way. He's just like my dad. - What? I'm not like Dad.

- Ever consider calling Brian? - No.

- And Charlie? - No.

And cutting your hair?

Go talk to him, he's in the room next to you.

We've spent all lockdown without talking

and now that he's got COVID, you want me to?

How's he today? We haven't spoken.

Coughing all night, but I haven't heard him in hours.

- What? - Shit!

- What are you doing? - My mask!

Forget the fucking…!

Go in, go in.

Still smoking? Seriously?

Fucking great, Dad.

Don't say I'm like him. He has no feelings.

- Wait. - I see.

Charlie?

Danny, can you come, please? I need your help.

- Charlie, I'm in Spain. - Send someone.

I'm doing this for Charlie. I'm super pissed at you.

Charlie!

Charlie, it's Brian!

Charlie?

Charlie?

What happened?

The pandemic has fucked me up.

I was lonely and bored, so I started watching too much porn.

It happened to all the people…

Not like with me because I have an addiction.

But we saw you with two chicks two months ago.

No, that was porn.

That's why I'm like this. I'm fucked.

Now I have to do it 10 or 12 times.

- A week? - A day.

Then I started experimenting with lubes and shit

and I found the bottle of hand sanitizer, Brian.

Let me see.

Stop recording me!

I'm switching the camera off. Let me just see it.

I'm sure it's not that bad.

That stings, Danny!

Ana, this has all been a big misunderstanding.

You want me back in the movie?

We need you. I need you in this movie.

- So… what do you think? - I guess.

Excellent.

-Recording in progress… -Meet our legal team.

Svetlana Mirova,

Kairos Kopuloplos, Íñigo Ilizárritu, Paula Pereira…

- Um… - John Johnson.

John, exactly!

Wait a minute. You want me on the set?

Technically, it's complicated, but yes, we want you in the movie.

As long as you sign an NDA stating

- you won't reveal information… - Alright!

You don't want me tweeting

how you fired your actress because she got pregnant.

No, we don't care about that. Studios do that all the time.

But we are concerned about the relationship

between Mr Harmmond and Miss Nina Renee.

Any disclosure of the nature of their relationship

could affect the studio.

- What? - What Svetlana is saying

is to sign the paperwork, take the money,

shut up and you'll become a star.

- Will you re-record my scenes? - Yes.

No, kind of.

We'll get your face, stick it on someone's body

and thanks to the magic of CGI, you just have to dub it.

- What? - Yeah, I know.

It'll be amazing. It's a win-win for everyone.

Not for the other actress.

No, obviously. She's devastated.

- But she won't press charges. - We've taken care of her.

So we win and you get a hot body.

- And no one will ever know. - Well, I'll know.

Well, yeah. You… and I.

And obviously Svetlana, Kairos, Íñigo, Paula…

- John Johnson. - And Juanito Juanes.

And the other girl.

And the CGI nerds. Just about 20 people in total.

Anita, this is what you always wanted.

Yeah, I guess.

This is worse than the burn center.

Severe dermatitis, blisters and penile eczema.

- It was an accident. - Yeah, right.

- What type of porn were you watching? - Excuse me?

Threesome, gay, trans, hetero, stepsiblings…?

- It was a porn parody of a show. - Brian!

Which one? Gay of Thrones, How I Fucked Your Mother,

The Gang Bang Theory, Transgender Things?

Breaking Ass.

-Breaking Asses. -Thanks, Carla.

- I'll call later. - Wait!

How are you? You look like shit.

- How's Ana? - Ana is fine.

Both of them are.

- Sadly, the baby looks just like you. - She gave birth?

No, I'm fucking with you.

But now you know how you'll feel

when you're 10,000 miles away and still haven't spoken.

I can't call her.

- She thinks I'm an idiot. - You are an idiot. You never call.

- And tell her what? That I'm sorry? - Yes.

- That I fucked everything up. - Yes.

- Yes. That's exactly it, man. - You've got COVID!

- I don't have COVID, for fuck's sake! - You do! Fuck! Get out!

The hell I will. I'm tired of hearing you whine

about fucking up with Ana and not doing anything.

Alright, bye.

Sorry.

- What are you doing? - Shut up and listen.

Let's see if you listen to your videofather.

Put that fucking phone down.

That's the problem with your generation.

You pay more attention to fucking screens than people.

No wonder this is the longest relationship you've had.

You're in a relationship with an amazing girl,

you laugh, you have fun, you love each other.

You fuck up sometimes? Everyone does!

Fix that. Change.

But you need to change.

Don't try to change others when it's not their fault.

Say sorry.

Surrender your ego.

You need to face love like this. Take off your armor.

Dad, you've got to switch the microphone on.

You gotta be shitting me. You didn't hear it?

Some parts, from the other room.

For fuck's sake… I don't even remember what I said.

Look, Danny, I've heard you talking with Ana for months.

You love her, you're having a baby

- and you're gonna miss it. - Dad.

Yeah, I know.

I know you're gonna say that I've been a shitty father.

Mine never told me he loved me.

And I was on the same path until your mother died.

Could I have done better?

Of course, with you, your sister and your mom.

I was never capable of saying sorry.

Maybe if I had done it, many things would have been…

Are you listening to me?

I'm not repeating this shit again!

- I'm listening, Dad. - Well, fuck me.

That'd be a first.

Come on, stop it with that corny American shit.

You're just like your mom.

She loved all that shit with a boy running to the airport

to go after a girl at Christmastime.

People don't do that in real life.

- I'm on my way to the airport. - Oh, god! Again?

They won't let you enter the US!

No, Erika. We have to find a way.

I'm Harry, I'm an alcoholic.

Hi, Harry.

For God's sake! They're not gonna let you come to the US.

You've been in Europe for the last two weeks.

- I'm at a meeting, so… - Don't hang up!

I spent thousands of dollars on this visa and you're not helping!

Ana's having a baby, her family's in Mexico

- and there's no one… - Wait!

You have family in Mexico?

- Hi, Anita. How are you? - I can't speak. I'm working.

Wait, I have a surprise.

- Hi. - Danny?

Can you give me a second, please?

What the hell are you doing there, dude?

- Mexico opened its borders. - He's visiting.

Now I can cross in, but I have to quarantine.

Two weeks with my parents?

No, honey, less. Just a few days.

- You're OK with that? - Not everyone, but your mom is happy

because he's the only one eating her chochitos pie.

You should try mine.

Are you okay?

Yes, Ana. Sorry.

You were right. I've been a control freak

and selfish, but, shit, I can change.

I mean, here I am.

Yeah, super romantic.

Though you could've checked in with me before going to my parents'.

Right. I'm a work in progress. But I'm getting better.

You're crazy.

Crazy about you, about us, about the baby.

About being together. Ana, I love you.

Sorry. I just ate too much.

That's fine, I got carried away and…

A bit. For a moment there, I thought you were gonna propose.

Well, I didn't plan to do it here, but…

What are you doing? I don't want to get married.

What? No, I was just kidding.

I'm fucking with you because of what you said.

- I knew you were fucking with me. - Yeah, I was fucking with you.

You couldn't have changed that much.

No, it's not like we're in a movie.

Well, I'm the one that's in a move here, dude.

- Oh, right. - Yeah, I look like a frog.

They're recording my face and voice to place it on someone's body.

It's horrible.

No, it's great. It's a movie. It's what you wanted.

All thanks to you.

I've got to go.

You don't play those jokes on Mexican mothers!

What's wrong with you?

One minute. One minute, I promise.

He apologized. He said he loved me.

And I didn't respond. And then he proposed.

As a joke, I think.

And I fucked up saying I didn't want to marry him.

- Ana. - Just a second.

Then he wished me luck with the movie and that I always wanted this.

You said you always wanted it?

No, he said that this is what I always wanted.

- So? - It's not what I always wanted, dude.

I think… I don't think. I don't know who I am anymore!

Don't be shitting me.

You're in a multimillionaire Hollywood movie.

- Ana! - I've never had to make a decision!

You know? The movie, the baby. It comes and I accept it.

- But I don't know… - Give it to me.

- Give me your phone. - Why?

- Because we're wasting time! - Fuck off!

No! You're wasting time!

You made me wait months!

You unfairly fired me just because I was pregnant.

- Son of a bitch. - You treated me like shit

to then hire me back to save your ass.

And I'm the one making you waste time, motherfucker?

I think you can wait a fucking minute.

What just happened?

I didn't touch her. You all saw it. My hands are clean.

It's a contraction!

What contract? You already signed it.

She could give a fuck!

This baby is about to be born, asshole!

- Like right now? - No.

- Then let's go shoot. - Let her go!

I don't want to shoot your fucking movie!

- Because you're having a baby? - No!

Because it's stupid and degrading.

Thank you!

Oh, I'm just checking the sound.

- I'm out of here. - Were you recording, motherfucker?

Are you recording me?

- Where are you going? - Mexico.

Hell no! You can't drive. You're about to have a baby.

- Then take me. - Now?

I have an idea.

- Charlie? - I know. Don't say it.

He's the only guy

that let me stick a PCR in him before I let him stick it in me.

Shut up! What's your idea?

- Thanks for calling. - It's fine, listen.

No, I'm sorry about what happened.

- Don't worry! - Let me…

- Nina explained. - Still…

You called her to help me.

Dude, just shut up!

We're good, OK?

Got it, you're sorry, you love me, you made a mistake, bla-bla-bla…

Apology accepted.

Fist bump, heterosexual man hug, all that good stuff.

Can we move on?

- OK. - OK, great.

Because you're having a baby.

- What? - The baby!

- Ana! - Hi, mi amor, how are you?

Sweetie, how are you?

Good, but this is going faster than I thought.

She wanted me to take her to Mexico, but she won't make it.

Hold on! Calm down, please! What's wrong?

I'm about to give birth, not die.

Oh, glory be.

You have to go to a hospital.

No way! I won't have this baby without you, Danny!

I love you!

I love you too, Ana.

I love you guys too, OK? But I'm taking her to the hospital.

I'm sorry, Danny.

I know you did everything you could to be here.

Fuck it!

Let's go! Fuck it!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Come on! It's not gonna get any greener.

You have to go through Independencia.

I know how to get to the US.

Why did you bring your chochitos pie? It stinks.

We didn't have time to eat it.

Where are you going? They won't let you in!

Your dad knows how to cross the border.

Because I'm Mexican you think I do this every day?

I can see the Teletubby popping its foot out! Let's go!

Come on, let's go.

Put your mask on.

We're almost at the border.

Daniel, get in the trunk.

Dad, no!

- No! - In the trunk, Daniel.

Is that the plan? For me to get in the trunk?

Of course.

Don't you know a guy on the border? A coyote? Anything?

Calm down, man.

Thousands of people illegally cross the border every year.

I'm sure you're the first white guy

to cross it in the trunk, so get in the trunk, motherfucker.

No, no!

Do you want to cross?

What are you doing? No!

Are you comfortable? Great, that's better.

- Mask on. - No!

I have no ears.

One, two, three. There we go.

There you go. Alright.

- All done? - Yeah. Pray it doesn't go sideways.

- Come on. - Let's go.

MEXICO-US BORDER 2:16 PM

MEXICO-US BORDER 2:16 PM

MEXICO-US BORDER 2:16 PM

- Danny, are you there? - Ana…

I can't see shit. Wait, we're stopping.

Passports. Where are you going?

Hi, Officer, Los Angeles.

Yeah, Los Angeles.

Do you have anything to declare?

- Oh, no. - No, no, no.

Anything in the trunk?

Actually, our bags because, believe it or not, we're in a hurry.

- Our daughter's having a baby, right? - Yeah.

We're gonna be grandparents.

- A baby. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fuck.

Open the trunk, please.

Are you sure? I have a chochitos pie.

Do you want some?

Oh, oh… Oh, my god. What is that smell?

Oh, I'm so sorry. It's too hot.

My chochitos are going bad. Do you want to try?

No, no need. Go. Go! Go! Get out of here!

Welcome to California. Let's go.

Breathe, breathe, breathe. Alright. Come on.

- We did it. - You won't believe it.

Your mom's pie saved us.

How are you?

I can't do this!

♪ The future is looking bright ♪

♪ Even if I could fall ♪ ♪ Flat on my face ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ I'm all in ♪ ♪ Raising the stakes ♪

LONDON 10:44 PM

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

Alright, alright. I'm so sorry.

♪ Wanna face love ♪

♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ Wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ I could fall ♪ ♪ Flat on my face ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ I'm all in ♪ ♪ Raising the stakes ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪

- Oh, fuck! - Carla, what's happening?

No, everything's okay. Don't worry.

We have to take you to get an emergency C-section.

Everything is more than OK, don't worry.

Bye, bye!

- Hang up. - No, no, no!

Hi, my girlfriend is Ana Castillo.

- She's having a baby. - Yes. Mr Martin.

- Yes. - We were expecting you.

Don't worry. The baby turned into a breech position,

- so the C-section is safer. - OK.

- But you made it in time. - Great.

Here you go.

Due to COVID protocols, you can't go into the operating room.

But you can watch it live on the screen.

Huh?

♪ It's time to face ♪

♪ Whatever music comes my way ♪

♪ Fight and flight ♪ ♪ Have both completely failed ♪

♪ So I'm choosing to stay now ♪

♪ Even if I could fall ♪

Tail slate.

I got it.

- Yeah. OK? - OK.

Your grandpa was the…

- The Spaniard was the... - The conquistador.

The conquistador.

Your mom is happy because he's eating her chochitos pie.

You should try mine.

Oh! What did I just say?

I'm stuffing the wrong end of the chicken.

But no one had an issue with our…

I can't say it. I don't know what's up.

You said it the first time.

Fucking wow!

Do you imagine Pretty Woman…?

I will do it. I will.

I'm talking about my dick.

Danny has it all under control.

I have a big meeting. But in the…

Fuck your mom!

No, my mom!

- What? - Fuckable is…

What's the matter?

Do you need help? I'll help you.

There you go.

Practice.

Female liberation…

Liberalism and Buddha's ball sack, for fuck's sake.

They're just a bunch of bastards.

- Come on, man. - Muchacho.

♪ Even if I could fall ♪ ♪ Flat on my face ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ I'm all in ♪ ♪ Raising the stakes ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ We just need each other ♪

♪ Like a password needs Wi-Fi ♪

♪ We belong together ♪

♪ Like Spielberg and Sci-Fi ♪

♪ We are in sync ♪ ♪ No need to twitch ♪

♪ We're bread and butter ♪ ♪ Lilo and Stitch ♪

♪ Don't let me go, my love ♪

♪ We fit like hand and glove ♪

♪ Even if I could fall ♪ ♪ Flat on my face ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ I'm all in ♪ ♪ Raising the stakes ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ Wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ Wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ I could fall ♪ ♪ Flat on my face ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ Face love ♪

♪ I just gotta face love ♪

♪ I wanna face love ♪ ♪ Gotta face love ♪

♪ Face love ♪ ♪ Face love ♪

♪ Gotta face love ♪ ♪ Gonna face love ♪

♪ Face love ♪

♪ Face love ♪

♪ Gonna face ♪

♪ Face love ♪

Subtitles: www.multisignes.com