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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,317 Why isn't this stupid thing workin'? 2 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,786 See, that's that bullshit. 3 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,576 I'm taking this shit right back to Best Buy. 4 00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:34,616 Or not. 5 00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,457 Stupid lens cap. 6 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:37,962 Wow! 7 00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:39,355 Brand-new camera. 8 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,491 I'm filming everything with this. 9 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,126 Christmas, New Year's, vagina. 10 00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:48,504 All right. Today is the big day. 11 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,701 My girlfriend Kisha's moving in. 12 00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,971 Now, all my boys keep telling me, "Don't do it, don't do it, 13 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,809 because everything's gonna change." 14 00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,314 "She's gonna take over your house." 15 00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:57,582 "She's never gonna cook again." 16 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,675 "And worst of all, 17 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,151 you're putting your dick in jail." 18 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,620 I think they're trippin'. 19 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,556 Once she moves in, everything's gonna be perfect. 20 00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:06,852 Place looks nice. 21 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,860 Baby boy cleaned up for you, huh? 22 00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:10,657 Oh, shit! 23 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,027 Rosa! 24 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,990 Hey, you gotta announce yourself. 25 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,859 You can't just creep up on me. 26 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,899 Aw, come on. This is my housekeeper, Rosa. 27 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,167 Say hi. Say hi. Say hi! 28 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,004 - Hi! Hola. - Say "Hola." Hola. 29 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,065 Bye-bye! 30 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,234 No, no. We gonna say hi the right way. 31 00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:29,378 Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay! 32 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,313 - Do this. - Oh! 33 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,982 I'm a big bambino? 34 00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,082 You know I love you. 35 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,988 Hey, Shiloh! Say hi to Mommy. 36 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:43,093 I'm gonna hump you on your leg, Kisha. That's right. 37 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,528 And I'm gonna lick you all over your face 38 00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:46,724 with my dog-ball mouth. 39 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:49,969 Oh, shit. Here she comes. 40 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,094 Hi, baby! 41 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,468 Hey, baby! Hi! 42 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,163 No, no, Shiloh! Wait! No, no, no, no! 43 00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,440 Shiloh! What did you do? 44 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,000 - I didn't see him! - What did you do? 45 00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:00,067 I'm so sorry. 46 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,454 Oh, my God! 47 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,116 Shiloh, come on, breathe. 48 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,208 Maybe he's just playing dead. 49 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:07,253 He doesn't know how to play dead. 50 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,753 He knows how to shake hands. He knows how to fetch. 51 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,619 He knows how to roll over. 52 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:12,924 He don't know how to play dead. 53 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,359 Come on, Shiloh, breathe. 54 00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:16,452 One, two, three. Breathe. 55 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,285 - Give me the jumper cables. - The jumper cables? 56 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,393 Give me the goddamn jumper cables! 57 00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:23,799 Don't you die on me! 58 00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:25,330 Start the car! 59 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,203 Clear! Go! 60 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:29,605 Oh, shit! 61 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:34,503 Meet me at the hospital! 62 00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:39,014 The hospital's that way! 63 00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:40,450 Don't go towards the light, Shiloh! 64 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,590 You're in a better place now, buddy. 65 00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,455 I'm so, so sorry. 66 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,752 It's okay, baby. 67 00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,593 It's... It's not your fault. Yes, it is. 68 00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:55,429 You know, look... Look on the bright side. 69 00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,401 I'm allergic to dogs. 70 00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,904 I know, but that's what was so great about Shiloh. 71 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,175 He was hypoallergenic. 72 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:07,108 Shiloh! 73 00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:22,857 Oh, my God! Look at all this shit. 74 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,453 Okay, Malcolm, this is the last box. 75 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,362 What's with the camera? 76 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,833 I'm documenting our lives together. 77 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:30,960 Say hi. 78 00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:33,904 Hi! Okay. Mmm. 79 00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:35,597 That ass lookin' nice, baby. 80 00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,075 Hey, hey. Pan up, pan up. I see that. 81 00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,736 Baby, you are officially a hoarder. 82 00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,439 I swear to God, I'm gonna open one of these boxes 83 00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:44,108 and find, like, a dead cat and an old baloney sandwich in it. 84 00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,810 Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. 85 00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:47,816 Oh, my God. Do you need these? 86 00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:49,320 - Yes! These are... - For what? 87 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,118 These are good wedding shoes! 88 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,681 One to 10, what are you feeling right now about that? 89 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,190 Um, 8.7. 90 00:04:57,162 --> 00:04:58,296 - What do you feel about that? - Nine. Nine. 91 00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,422 - That's a nine? - Yes. 92 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,467 - No, wait! Come on. Come on. - What's this? Hold on. 93 00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:04,401 This is a box that my aunt brought from Kenya. 94 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:06,964 This is a nine, too. 95 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,098 Oh, my God! 96 00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,397 Say it. 97 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,966 Hi, my name is Kisha Davis, and I'm a hoarder. 98 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,647 There's shame. 99 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,477 Oh, wow. 100 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,984 Are these your daddy's ashes? 101 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,189 Yes, Malcolm. They go where I go. 102 00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:27,017 So, we're gonna have his ghost watching over us? 103 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,553 That's comforting. 104 00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:32,064 Just put him in the other room. He likes to watch TV. 105 00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,223 He's dead. What's he gonna watch? 106 00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:34,789 American Horror Story? 107 00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,260 Okay, babe, these video games, they have to go. 108 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,101 - Wait. Leave my video games alone. - They're tacky. 109 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,231 Give me my camera! 110 00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:42,535 Kisha, stop playing. You're gonna break it. 111 00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,803 - I'm not gonna break it. - Give me my camera! 112 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,752 "Negra?" Did she just call me a nigger? 113 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,651 What? What? 114 00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,450 I will lambada your ass! 115 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,956 English! English! Speak English! 116 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,219 Baby. Baby. Baby! 117 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,614 You know she don't like me, right? 118 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,460 Oh, I know what's going on here. 119 00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,791 Are you banging Rosa? 120 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,145 You got some Schwarzenegger stuff going on in here, right? 121 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,827 - Really? - Yeah, okay, yeah. 122 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,334 She's pregnant with my love child right now. 123 00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:13,236 Yeah, we're gonna have a nappy-haired baby that speaks perfect Spanish. 124 00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,474 - Come on. Think about it. - Okay. 125 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:18,638 Mmm. 126 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,406 Mmm. 127 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,446 - Hungry there, buddy? - Mm-hmm. 128 00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,142 You're over there eating like the Cookie Monster. 129 00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:27,849 Can I just enjoy my food, please? 130 00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,979 Wow. Somebody's crabby. 131 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,149 I'm sorry. I'm just tired. 132 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:37,127 I haven't been sleeping well. I keep hearing these noises. 133 00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,056 Scary. 134 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:41,961 Well, you don't have to be afraid, okay? 135 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,899 'Cause you're living with me now. 136 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,302 And nobody's gonna hurt you on my watch. 137 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,771 - Okay? - Okay. 138 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:53,141 Unless the nigger got a gun. 139 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,871 Then you on your own. 140 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:58,906 What? 141 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,418 Hey, baby, what you doin'? 142 00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:07,050 Well, it's time to put on something a little more comfortable. 143 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,193 Aha! That's what I'm talkin' about! 144 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,796 Fellas, get out your pen and pads. 145 00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:14,628 We about to give you a sex tutorial. Let's do this. 146 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,177 Mmm. Oh. 147 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,078 Yeah. 148 00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,948 Oh, you got the beat! 149 00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:36,419 Oh! Stop. 150 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,116 Stop. Not yet. Not... Ahh! 151 00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,858 You gonna bring a friend there, huh? 152 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:44,428 Ah. Ah. 153 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,757 Uh-huh? Watch that. Uh-huh. 154 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,097 Now you get some, yeah. Watch. Watch. 155 00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:50,357 Ah, taste that. 156 00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:52,529 Look at Daddy. Uh-huh. 157 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,866 Two dogs, one duck. 158 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,137 Get it nasty. You nasty. 159 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,745 Go home. 160 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,045 I want you by myself. Yeah. 161 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,550 Oh. Oh, shit! That's still hot! 162 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:12,090 Shut up. Take it. You just take it. 163 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,994 Take it, take it, take it. 164 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,894 - Baby! - Yeah, baby? 165 00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:23,197 I cannot believe this is our first night living together! 166 00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,202 - Yeah. It's nice, huh? - Uh-huh. 167 00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:27,135 I can't wait to lie next to you. 168 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,367 Oh, me, too. Gotta go, baby. 169 00:08:30,075 --> 00:08:30,965 It was fun. 170 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,880 Whoo! 171 00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,174 Get in. 172 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:38,641 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 173 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:39,742 Here I come! 174 00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:40,877 Okay, honey. 175 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,483 Baby, you are the sexiest woman... 176 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,688 What the hell? 177 00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:54,926 You know, Malcolm, not everybody goes to bed looking like a supermodel. 178 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,901 - Apparently not. - You know? 179 00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,483 Besides, what is wrong with my outfit? 180 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,802 Nothin', if you lived in a box underneath the freeway. 181 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:01,862 What? 182 00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,108 Come on! Hold the sign up, please? 183 00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:07,638 Can I go to bed? 184 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,044 No, you gotta get the joke first! 185 00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:10,172 Come on. 186 00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:11,307 All right. Okay, fine. 187 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,476 Okay. I'm ready. 188 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,110 All right. Go ahead. 189 00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:15,911 Spare change? 190 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,950 You stupid! 191 00:09:32,771 --> 00:09:34,799 I love you. Good night. 192 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:55,986 God! 193 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,865 How could someone so cute be so stink? 194 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,097 Oh, Jesus Christ! 195 00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:12,436 Oh, really? Oh, God! 196 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,607 What crawled up your ass and died? 197 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:16,739 Shit! 198 00:10:17,816 --> 00:10:18,508 Really? 199 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,313 You ain't allowed to move in here and do this shit. 200 00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,375 Mm-mmm. 201 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,724 It's alive! What? 202 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,396 Oh! Oh! Oh, fuck! 203 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,901 Oh! 204 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:38,937 I heard that. 205 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,509 So, we didn't have sex last night. 206 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:49,173 Kisha didn't cook, and she killed my dog. 207 00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:51,307 But other than that, 208 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,080 I guess this moving-in thing is gonna be pretty cool. 209 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,481 Malcolm! Malcolm! 210 00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,223 What's up? 211 00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:03,056 My keys are on the floor. 212 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,187 Okay. 213 00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:05,661 - Malcolm. - What? 214 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,699 Something weird is going on here. 215 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,267 If you mean something weird 216 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,136 Like you farting in your sleep, yes, there is. 217 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,865 No, no. 218 00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:14,097 I think we have a ghost. 219 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,197 A ghost? 220 00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,742 Yeah, okay. No, you have a ghost in your ass. 221 00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,204 Okay. Come on, really? 222 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:22,304 I wanna bring a psychic to tell us what's going on. 223 00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,439 A psychic? 224 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,956 Ah, come on, Kish. That's ridiculous. 225 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,814 Look, I'll tell you what's going on, okay? 226 00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,444 Some neighborhood kid came in here, 227 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,284 stole something out of your purse, and then he left... 228 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,291 No. See, if anyone is stealing anything, 229 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,759 it is you-know-who, okay? 230 00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:39,928 Hey, girl! 231 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:43,160 Okay, we have no idea what she's doing when we're not here. 232 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,866 Why is she always wearing gloves? 233 00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:47,405 Okay, fine. I'll take care of it. 234 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:48,462 Guilty. 235 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:51,967 Hey, I'm Dan the Security Man. 236 00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,306 - Hey, how you doin'? - Nice to meet you. 237 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,740 Oh, whoa! Hey, hey, hey! What's up? 238 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,577 Hey, I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't see you back there. 239 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,776 That's my associate, Bob. Actually, he's my brother. 240 00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,045 He's a simple... 241 00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,279 I'm his brother, too. 242 00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:03,480 He used to play in the dryer. We turned it on once. 243 00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:06,648 Whoa, whoa! 244 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,920 Hey, yo, you better back up! 245 00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:08,982 What's the problem? 246 00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:10,528 We're here to install cameras. 247 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,188 Yeah. Not to be filmed on camera. 248 00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:13,526 'Cause I'm doing my own reality show. 249 00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:14,839 Well, I'm not signing anything. 250 00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,697 - And I can't write. - He can't write. 251 00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,133 Blur this out. 252 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,304 - Mosaic. - Okay. 253 00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:21,868 What is he doing? 254 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,632 Is the owner home? 255 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,308 You're talking to him. 256 00:12:25,577 --> 00:12:27,311 Yeah, right! 257 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,403 Wow. 258 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,745 Oh. Wow. Okay. 259 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:34,016 All right. Now, that camera covers your entire backyard. 260 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,280 It's cool. 261 00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,513 Let's say you and the missus are having a pool party, right? 262 00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:39,523 You know, you're grilling up some fried chicken, 263 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,459 probably some ribs. 264 00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,820 Hot wings, some pig knuckle, 265 00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:46,228 strimps. 266 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,532 You know, maybe some corn bread. 267 00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,460 I'd say watermelon, but that might be racist, right? 268 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,436 Corn bread was pretty close. 269 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:57,304 Not really. Country folks eat corn bread. 270 00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,069 Can I say it? 271 00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:01,068 - You talking about the "N" word? - Yeah. 272 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,478 No. It's not appropriate. 273 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:03,572 I see. 274 00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,043 Are you... Is he serious? 275 00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,016 You can call me a cracker. 276 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,420 I don't want to. I just want... 277 00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:10,648 Let me say it. 278 00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:15,225 If you say it, I'm going to punch you in your face. 279 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,689 - Anyway... - Wow. 280 00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:21,528 Maybe later things get a little freaky. 281 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,092 You and the old lady in the 'cuzzi, buck naked, right? 282 00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,298 Little Black Mamba's ready to strike. 283 00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:29,874 That camera will catch all of it. 284 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,876 Nice! So, all you gotta do, go upstairs, 285 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:35,573 clickity-clack on the computer, beat off to the highlights. 286 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,172 Yeah. 287 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,978 Holler! 288 00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:40,985 Holler! 289 00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:43,886 - Do it. - No. 290 00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,423 Holler! 291 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,425 Are you really gonna make me do this here? 292 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,482 Camera Guys. 293 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,653 Holler! 294 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,225 - Got you all tied in. - Mm-hmm. 295 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,630 Uh, just hit the space bar, the mouse, you flash from the kitchen. 296 00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:56,725 Mm-hmm? 297 00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:57,791 Entryway. 298 00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,565 Backyard. Living room. 299 00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,499 - I even tied in the webcam. - Nice. 300 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,370 Yeah. Oh, I like that. That's cool. 301 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,938 Here's something you wanna think about. 302 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,478 You can remote access these things from wherever you are. 303 00:14:07,546 --> 00:14:10,447 I can set that up if you want. Just give me your pass code. 304 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,450 No. Not gonna happen. 305 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,985 - Good choice. - Nice try. 306 00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,782 But you could set that up if you want to. 307 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,254 You're out of town on a business trip, 308 00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:18,551 you might wanna check up on the missus, 309 00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:19,851 make sure she's safe. 310 00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,187 Right. 311 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,851 - Or whatever she's doing! - Yeah. 312 00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,828 You know, girls, they like to have 313 00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,661 a girls' time when you're out of town. 314 00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:28,859 And why wouldn't they, you know? 315 00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,526 You don't expect things like... 316 00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:34,867 You know, she's spread eagle on the floor, banging the mailman. 317 00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,635 "Special delivery!" 318 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,040 Not on our bed! 319 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,702 You dirty bird! 320 00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,508 - In front of the dog! - Is he serious? 321 00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,742 Oh, the dog's so upset! 322 00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:46,784 I mean, you know, 323 00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,650 you're at a security convention in Albuquerque 324 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,350 screaming at the top of your lungs at a Quality Inn! 325 00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,016 I remember Albuquerque. 326 00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:56,926 You can't scratch your way through the camera! 327 00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,827 Kinda reminds me, I gotta mail out some bills 328 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,020 before the end of the month. 329 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,293 Uh, it's okay, man. It's okay. 330 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,667 Bobby, you better not be recording. 331 00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,391 Uh, Bobby? Yeah, I got the whole thing. 332 00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:08,428 Don't do this shit in my house. 333 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,575 It's okay. Okay. All right. I understand. 334 00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:13,669 Okay. 335 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:17,021 Why are you installing all these security cameras anyway? 336 00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,409 Uh, we may have a burglar. 337 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,542 Or a ghost. 338 00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:20,778 - A burglar. - Ghost. 339 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:21,979 - Burglar. - Ghost! 340 00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,614 Well, it just so happens I have my own ghost hunter reality show. 341 00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:25,647 Do you wanna know what it's called? 342 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,521 I got one, too. 343 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,322 Wild guess, American Ghost? 344 00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:30,986 - Wrong! -Ghost Guys. 345 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,120 Oh! 346 00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,960 It is trademarked, so don't get any funny ideas. 347 00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,864 - I definitely won't. - All right. See ya. 348 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,060 Yeah! You know they're shooting porn in there. 349 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,001 - Really? - No way he owns it. 350 00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,369 Malcolm, what is that? 351 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,841 Well, I paid those camera guys all this money 352 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:49,574 and they left a big-ass blind spot inside the hallway. 353 00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:54,446 So you decided to break my fan and rig up this ridiculous camera? 354 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:55,879 Yep. 355 00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:58,485 Call me "Nigyver." 356 00:15:58,557 --> 00:15:59,615 Wow. 357 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,588 Cool. All right, baby. Come on. 358 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,426 - All right. - All right. 359 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,758 - I'm so hungry. - Me, too. Starving. 360 00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,630 Okay, Rosa. We're leaving. 361 00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,601 - Buenas tardes, señores. - Okay. 362 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,677 It's crazy, right? 363 00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:32,888 These stupid motherfuckers don't think I speak English! 364 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,428 Yo, I got a nice pool. You want to come on down? 365 00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:39,290 Yeah, we got a Jacuzzi. 366 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,104 Que pasa? 367 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,171 Ay, Dios mio! 368 00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:05,181 Whoo! ¡Dios mio! 369 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,287 Hey, Rosa. We're back. 370 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,455 Hola! 371 00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:22,102 - Si! - Yo tambien. 372 00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:23,698 I don't know what you saying. 373 00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,299 Mm-hmm! 374 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,781 - Baby! - What? 375 00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,338 Look at how she's swimming. 376 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,145 Hey, Steve. Steve, look. Check this out. 377 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,242 Black girl don't like getting her hair wet. 378 00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:37,451 Hey, hey, hey! Malcolm, cut that shit out! 379 00:17:38,056 --> 00:17:39,996 Just got my hair did. You know that. 380 00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:41,148 Don't play with me. 381 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,386 You're looking good over there, baby. 382 00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:43,951 - Hey, show us your tits. - What? 383 00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:45,155 Show us your tits! 384 00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,724 - Whoa, whoa. - No, no, no, no, no! 385 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,131 I knew she would do it. 386 00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,160 You like that? 387 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,499 No, no. That was awkward. 388 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,971 Oh, yeah? But did you like it a little bit? 389 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,302 They're cockeyed. 390 00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,536 Yeah, I know. One's bigger than the other one. 391 00:17:58,644 --> 00:17:59,924 That way you can have a favorite. 392 00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:01,502 Baby? 393 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,811 - No! - Whoo! 394 00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:06,851 Your head's gonna get pregnant! 395 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,181 Let's do reverse. 396 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,227 Wow, man, I am loving this camera of yours. 397 00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:17,352 This is really cool. 398 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,691 - Thanks, man. - Oh, boy. 399 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,562 I bet you're shooting all kinds of extracurricular activities with this camera. 400 00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:22,691 Actually, I'm not. 401 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,757 You aren't? 402 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,029 - None. - You're not? 403 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,038 You know, ever since Kisha moved in, 404 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,664 I haven't seen no parts of the vagina. 405 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,769 - No! - It's like she moved in, 406 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,435 and her vagina moved out the same day. 407 00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:33,944 - You gotta be kidding me! - Yeah. 408 00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:35,445 That makes me angry. 409 00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:36,845 Not as angry as it makes my penis. 410 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,110 Well, I am angry for your penis. 411 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,515 Mr. Happy is not so happy. 412 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,018 - Oh, that's infuriating. - Yeah, man. 413 00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,247 Yeah, man. 414 00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,880 It makes me very upset to hear that. 415 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,185 But you know, there is something you can do 416 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,451 to spice it up if you want to. 417 00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,448 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 418 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:49,619 What? 419 00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,219 Well, you know how, like, 420 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:53,025 if you get tired of driving your car, 421 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,565 you might test-drive a new car? 422 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,622 Mm-hmm. 423 00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:57,258 Maybe you would even let somebody else 424 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,736 drive your car for a little while, you know? 425 00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:02,830 Get a whole new appreciation of your vehicle when you do that. 426 00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,303 Are you talking about swapping girlfriends? 427 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,744 What? No! Excuse me? 428 00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,262 I don't know where you were goin' with that! Oh, wow! 429 00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:13,543 I was talking about cars! 430 00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:14,677 My bad. 431 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,852 You would never do it? 432 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,822 I would absolutely never do it. 433 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,358 Me neither. Me neither. 434 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,427 What kind of pervert does that? 435 00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:24,621 That's what you would have to be. 436 00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:26,254 It takes a pervert to swap girlfriends. 437 00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,560 You never have done it, and you never would, huh? 438 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:29,658 No, Steve. 439 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,465 Even if you got drunk enough or something like that? 440 00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:34,369 Like, you might have a few too many drinks and say, 441 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:35,639 "Why not? Let's give it a try," 442 00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:38,132 if there was a couple that was into it. 443 00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,574 - No. - No. Yeah, me neither. 444 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:40,634 That's how I feel. 445 00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,078 But even, like, maybe if you got a little high, 446 00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,945 maybe on a Saturday night or something like that, 447 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,348 and you were like... 448 00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:47,510 Even then. 449 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:50,111 Yeah. Like, even if this couple was, like, 450 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,180 up for anything and raring to go, 451 00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:56,284 and she was hot to trot, like, a hot, hot lady. 452 00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,591 It wouldn't matter. You wouldn't do it, right? 453 00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,962 Nigger, no. 454 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,627 Same here. We're in agreement. 455 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,364 It's crazy to swap girlfriends like that. 456 00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:09,463 I am with you 100%. 457 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,072 Steve, want a beer? 458 00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,270 Thank you very much. 459 00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:16,007 Hey, babe, did you tell Steve we have a ghost? 460 00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:17,138 - We don't have a ghost. - A ghost? 461 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,774 - Yeah. - Awesome. 462 00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:19,942 I think it'd be cool to have a ghost. 463 00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:21,007 We don't have a ghost. 464 00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,279 No, Jenny, it's not cool. 465 00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:23,446 We don't have a ghost. 466 00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:25,547 You thought it was cool in college. 467 00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,284 We did a seance and everything! 468 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,224 - A seance? - Oh, yeah. That's right. 469 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,317 You did a seance? 470 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,885 Yes. Honey, it's college. 471 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,118 You do a lot of silly stuff. 472 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,189 Yeah. 473 00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,290 Like that time we got drunk and made out. 474 00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:38,461 Oh, it's all hazy. 475 00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,731 You know, college, it's like a big fog. 476 00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:41,396 We're gonna talk about these college days. 477 00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:42,495 Yeah, yeah. 478 00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,701 A hazy, sexy fog, it sounds like. 479 00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,335 Wouldn't it be great if we all spent the night? Together? 480 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,470 Well, that's an interesting idea. 481 00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:49,741 What do you think of that, Malcolm? 482 00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:51,543 - A naked sleepover? - No. 483 00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:52,878 - No? - It's weird. 484 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,350 Yeah, but it's definitely gonna be weird. 485 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,887 But are you saying weird good or weird bad? 486 00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,149 Weird bad, Steve. 487 00:20:58,223 --> 00:20:59,349 Okay. 488 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,549 All right, you guys. It's been real. 489 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,527 Listen, I know a great psychic if you need one. 490 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:05,620 Okay. 491 00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:06,891 He told me I'd be surrounded 492 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:10,594 by big, black spirits in my near future. 493 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:12,863 Vaginas crossed. 494 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,372 - Yeah, okay. - Right? Goodbye! 495 00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:17,168 Well. 496 00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:19,403 Listen, before we go, I just wanna talk to you about something, 497 00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:20,910 'cause Jenny's got a birthday coming up. 498 00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,002 Okay. 499 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,775 I wanna do something real special for her, you know. 500 00:21:23,882 --> 00:21:26,043 I was thinking maybe you could invite a couple of guys over, 501 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,710 Like your cousin Ray-Ray, maybe? 502 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:28,878 And some of those big, black guys 503 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,444 that he hangs out with, you know? 504 00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:32,887 Jamal, and Hakim, and Anforny, you know? 505 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,927 Just the six of us, right? We'll have some fun. 506 00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:38,019 We'll double stuff the Oreo a little bit, huh? 507 00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:39,796 Dirty up the white snow? 508 00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:41,365 Black poles, white holes. 509 00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:44,266 You know, maybe all pile on the little white rabbit, right, you know? 510 00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:46,599 Are you talking about a mandingo party? 511 00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,468 What? A what? 512 00:21:48,573 --> 00:21:50,302 Excuse me! 513 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:53,572 I mean, I'm really, uh, not into that. But if you're into that... 514 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:54,771 Um, I'm... 515 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,438 Well, we might be able to work something out 516 00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:57,537 if that's what you're into. 517 00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:59,277 - Hey, buddy, I mean... - Okay, bye, Steve. 518 00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:00,508 Oh! 519 00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:02,177 Oh, wow. 520 00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:03,411 - That's beautiful. - Okay, Jenny. 521 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:04,512 All right. Goodbye. 522 00:22:04,589 --> 00:22:05,988 Okay, honey, come on. Come on, honey, come in. 523 00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:07,820 You're lucky. 524 00:22:07,926 --> 00:22:09,257 She is luckier. 525 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,989 - Bye, guys. Bye! - All right. 526 00:22:12,530 --> 00:22:13,964 Okay. All right. 527 00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:16,991 I think Jenny and Steve are swingers. 528 00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:18,592 You think? Wow. 529 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,262 This looks like a ghetto Rite Aid. 530 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:21,567 Wrong Aid. 531 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,904 Oh, shit! Did somebody shave a yeti? 532 00:22:23,975 --> 00:22:25,840 Very funny. I shaved my legs. 533 00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:27,572 With what, a weed whacker? 534 00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:30,080 Wow. That's like Apollo Creed's chest hairs. 535 00:22:30,148 --> 00:22:31,172 That is crazy. 536 00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:34,047 - Oh! Hey! - Malcolm, come on! 537 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,485 Dude, turn that off. Get out of here. 538 00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:38,078 - You got to close this. - Stop it! 539 00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:39,680 I'm claustrophobic, okay? 540 00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:41,315 Yeah? Well, I'm ass-trophobic. 541 00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:42,916 - You know what, Malcolm? - What? 542 00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:45,519 Love it or leave it, okay? Here. Here. 543 00:22:46,097 --> 00:22:47,324 Take it, okay? 544 00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:48,398 It's oak-y. 545 00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:51,094 It's... It's full-bodied. 546 00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:52,961 I believe it's open. 547 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:54,130 Oh, that's... That's nasty! 548 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,673 Mmm. The aroma. 549 00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:56,866 The nastiest thing ever. 550 00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:58,102 No, Malcolm! Malcolm! 551 00:22:58,176 --> 00:22:59,643 Hey! No! 552 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,372 - Move your little nasty foot. - Stop it! 553 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,411 Ow! Ow! Malcolm! 554 00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:21,655 - Uh, Malcolm. Malcolm? - Hmm? 555 00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:23,166 The camera isn't off. 556 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,328 Yeah, the camera's off. What are you talkin' about? 557 00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:26,530 The light is on. 558 00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:27,697 That's the standby light. 559 00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:29,671 That's the record light. 560 00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,902 I don't want to be like those stupid girls. 561 00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:34,309 Kim Kardashian with a sex tape. 562 00:23:34,379 --> 00:23:37,075 First of all, Kim Kardashian's worth $150 million. 563 00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:39,509 Think about it, Kisha. You could have your own reality show. 564 00:23:39,551 --> 00:23:42,213 You could have your own clothing line, your own perfume. 565 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,880 "Stank," by Kisha. 566 00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:46,150 No. 567 00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:48,658 Your window of opportunity is closing quickly. 568 00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:49,921 Turn it off. 569 00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:51,121 Oh, God, you are a hater. 570 00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:52,561 I'm not. 571 00:23:57,235 --> 00:24:00,398 Malcolm. You ain't slick. That camera's still on. 572 00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:02,530 - What? - "What?" 573 00:24:03,507 --> 00:24:04,106 That's cheap. 574 00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:11,872 Don't touch it. 575 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,508 Don't touch it. That was crazy. 576 00:24:13,585 --> 00:24:14,711 Oh, I got a cramp. 577 00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:17,220 I told you we should have recorded that. 578 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,223 I don't think they make 30-second tapes. 579 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:23,421 Oh, come on. That was at least two minutes, 15, 16 seconds. 580 00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:25,018 Whoo! That was great. 581 00:24:25,096 --> 00:24:26,859 Malcolm, you know we have to go again, right? 582 00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:30,231 I need a halftime. You gotta talk to the coach. 583 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,599 Get some new plays. 584 00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:36,908 - Wake up. - Okay, okay. 585 00:24:36,975 --> 00:24:37,999 Come on now. 586 00:24:38,076 --> 00:24:39,202 Okay, okay. 587 00:24:39,277 --> 00:24:40,904 - Woody's sore. - Mmm. 588 00:24:43,915 --> 00:24:44,973 Yeah. 589 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,142 Good morning, honey. 590 00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:49,982 - Hi, baby. - Mwah. 591 00:24:51,189 --> 00:24:53,749 Malcolm, I told you to turn the camera off! 592 00:24:54,793 --> 00:24:56,784 I know. I'm shit. 593 00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:59,420 But, baby, I was tearin' it up last night. 594 00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:02,060 - Oh, please. You were all right. - Baby, check this move. Look at that. 595 00:25:02,133 --> 00:25:03,653 Malcolm, I need you to erase this tape. 596 00:25:03,735 --> 00:25:05,566 I don't wanna end up on the Internet. 597 00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:06,899 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 598 00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,269 Rewind the video. 599 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,602 Okay. 600 00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,608 - Did you see that? - Uh-huh. 601 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:12,997 See, I call that move the Tornado. 602 00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:14,406 No, stupid! 603 00:25:14,479 --> 00:25:17,642 Look! The door, it moved. You see? 604 00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:19,046 Oh, wow. 605 00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:22,384 Well, there is a rational explanation for all that. 606 00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:24,649 See, what happens is, with the Tornado, right, 607 00:25:24,756 --> 00:25:27,452 the vortex in which I move my hips, 608 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,084 especially with a downward motion, 609 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,923 it creates that vortex. 610 00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:32,293 I'm surprised the windows didn't blow open. 611 00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,195 - You are stupid. - Sometimes it does that. 612 00:25:34,332 --> 00:25:37,062 See, I'm working on a whole natural disaster theme for me and you. 613 00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:39,300 We gonna start with the Mudslide tonight. 614 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,498 Or the Earthquake. Earthquake is crazy! 615 00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:45,064 'Cause I just get in and I shake up in there, fast as I can. I just shake. 616 00:25:56,521 --> 00:25:57,920 Malcolm! 617 00:25:57,989 --> 00:25:59,070 Malcolm, come here, please! 618 00:25:59,090 --> 00:26:00,490 - Quick! - What happened? What happened? 619 00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:04,388 Okay, so the glass was on the counter, and then it... 620 00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,724 Something knocked it off! 621 00:26:06,831 --> 00:26:08,196 How do you explain that? 622 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,728 Well, maybe you put it on the edge of the counter, 623 00:26:09,801 --> 00:26:10,825 and it just slipped off. 624 00:26:11,703 --> 00:26:14,365 Last night, it was the door, Malcolm. 625 00:26:14,472 --> 00:26:17,669 And then, this morning, the pot was on the floor. 626 00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:20,002 Maybe it wasn't put on the rack properly. 627 00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:22,842 All right, I'll take credit for that. Lord knows you don't cook. 628 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:24,541 Oh, I love you, but stop. Be careful. 629 00:26:24,649 --> 00:26:25,741 You're gonna get glass in your foot 630 00:26:25,817 --> 00:26:27,079 and be trackin' blood all through the house 631 00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:28,585 Like Bruce Willis in Die Hard. 632 00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:34,882 Do you believe me now, Malcolm? Hmm? 633 00:26:34,993 --> 00:26:38,554 Maybe it was your vortex. 634 00:26:38,663 --> 00:26:39,960 Oh, God. 635 00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:54,411 Did you hear that? 636 00:26:54,512 --> 00:26:56,036 - Nope. - What? 637 00:26:59,017 --> 00:27:00,348 What about that? 638 00:27:00,418 --> 00:27:02,249 That was just the house settling. 639 00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:03,844 No big thing. Just go back to sleep. 640 00:27:03,922 --> 00:27:05,190 Go back to sleep? 641 00:27:08,927 --> 00:27:10,861 - The wind? - What? 642 00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:13,090 Negro, the windows are closed! 643 00:27:14,598 --> 00:27:15,998 Oh, hell, no! I'm out! 644 00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,159 What? Malcolm! 645 00:27:19,070 --> 00:27:20,128 Malcolm! 646 00:27:30,714 --> 00:27:31,579 Really? 647 00:27:32,450 --> 00:27:33,508 Oh, hell, no. 648 00:27:33,585 --> 00:27:36,145 Malcolm, what are you doing? 649 00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:39,247 Bitch, there is a ghost in the house. I'm out. 650 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,416 You can't leave. 651 00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:41,516 You watch me. 652 00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:44,186 Deuces. 653 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,692 Malcolm! 654 00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:53,470 - You all right? - Who am I kidding? 655 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,169 I can't sell a house in this market. 656 00:27:58,109 --> 00:27:59,542 "Immediate possession." 657 00:28:00,879 --> 00:28:02,107 It's already possessed! 658 00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:09,987 Hi, Chip. I'm Kisha. Hi. 659 00:28:10,088 --> 00:28:11,521 Hi, I'm Chip the Psychic. 660 00:28:11,589 --> 00:28:12,613 Come on in. 661 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,682 Nice. Nice. 662 00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:18,118 Oh! 663 00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:21,825 And you... You must be Malcolm. 664 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,297 Mmm, yeah. That's pretty good. How did you know? 665 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,393 Uh, psychic. 666 00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:26,664 See? 667 00:28:26,771 --> 00:28:29,331 I have a lot of powers all over my body. 668 00:28:29,441 --> 00:28:32,035 Do you... You play basketball, probably, a little bit, right? 669 00:28:32,143 --> 00:28:33,701 - No, not really. - You don't? 670 00:28:33,778 --> 00:28:35,473 No. Well, you got the body for it. 671 00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:37,776 You're lucky. 672 00:28:37,849 --> 00:28:39,282 You're a lucky, lucky lady. 673 00:28:39,651 --> 00:28:41,812 I'm gonna ask you some questions. 674 00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:45,014 You know, nothing cray. Just real simple stuff. 675 00:28:45,123 --> 00:28:46,613 Okay, how long have you guys been together? 676 00:28:46,691 --> 00:28:47,715 - Two years. - Yes. 677 00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:49,521 - Okay, Malcolm, are you happy? - Yes. 678 00:28:49,627 --> 00:28:50,907 - Do you like living with her? - Yes. 679 00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:52,462 Have you been with a man? No. 680 00:28:52,530 --> 00:28:54,191 - Did you have a good Halloween? - Yes. 681 00:28:54,265 --> 00:28:55,664 - Did you have a good Christmas? - Yes. 682 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:57,031 - Do you like movies? - Yeah. 683 00:28:57,102 --> 00:28:58,126 Have you been with a man? 684 00:28:58,203 --> 00:28:59,602 Yeah... No. What? No! 685 00:28:59,671 --> 00:29:01,138 Did you have a good Easter? Yes. 686 00:29:01,206 --> 00:29:02,571 - Do you like booze? - Yes. 687 00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:04,073 Do you eat food every day? Yes. 688 00:29:04,175 --> 00:29:05,175 Have you been with a man? 689 00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:06,301 Yes. No, no! 690 00:29:06,377 --> 00:29:07,810 I've never been with a man. 691 00:29:07,879 --> 00:29:09,904 Okay, I'm just asking 'cause I'm just trying to get to know you. 692 00:29:09,981 --> 00:29:12,211 I've never been with a man. I've never been with a man. 693 00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:14,080 - I've never been with a man. - Would you stop being so... 694 00:29:14,185 --> 00:29:15,225 I've never been with a man! 695 00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:16,242 Okay! 696 00:29:16,321 --> 00:29:17,721 You don't have to be loud and angry. 697 00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:18,870 I've never been with a man! 698 00:29:18,890 --> 00:29:20,414 He keeps asking me if I've been with a man! 699 00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:21,606 I've never been with a man! 700 00:29:21,626 --> 00:29:22,615 Okay. 701 00:29:22,694 --> 00:29:24,355 I'm trying to get to know you. Have you been with a man? 702 00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:25,736 I sleep on this side of the bed. 703 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:26,753 Right. 704 00:29:26,831 --> 00:29:28,662 - She sleeps there. - Ick. 705 00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:31,327 And, you know, we keep the camera right there. 706 00:29:31,402 --> 00:29:34,735 And one night, we saw the door kind of just, like... 707 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:38,033 Oh, wow. So there was some paranormal over there. 708 00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:39,872 No, she thinks it's paranormal, 709 00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:42,037 and I think it's 'cause of the Tornado. 710 00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:43,740 'Cause I created a vortex. 711 00:29:43,815 --> 00:29:45,407 What does that mean? 712 00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:47,348 We was havin' sex, and I was hittin' it. 713 00:29:47,418 --> 00:29:48,515 I was like... 714 00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:51,955 I was doing this round, and I think the... 715 00:29:52,056 --> 00:29:54,115 Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey. 716 00:29:54,225 --> 00:29:56,159 - Hey, you okay? - Yeah, sorry. 717 00:29:56,227 --> 00:29:57,216 You all right? 718 00:29:57,295 --> 00:29:58,319 I got light-headed there for a second. 719 00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:00,023 - Okay. All right. - Yeah, no, I'm good. 720 00:30:00,098 --> 00:30:02,692 Check out the door. You know what? 721 00:30:02,767 --> 00:30:04,167 There is some dark energy over here. 722 00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:05,224 Really? 723 00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:07,203 Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. 724 00:30:07,272 --> 00:30:09,570 I didn't even... Oh! 725 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,699 We got a ghost. 726 00:30:10,775 --> 00:30:11,799 Oh, my God, it's got me! 727 00:30:11,910 --> 00:30:14,538 It's got me! It's got me! 728 00:30:14,612 --> 00:30:16,477 - It's got me! - Help! Help! 729 00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:18,572 Hey, man! Get off of me! 730 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,551 Oh, man! Get off of me. 731 00:30:21,619 --> 00:30:23,587 What are you doing? 732 00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:25,623 I don't know what just happened. 733 00:30:25,723 --> 00:30:26,815 That was so scary. 734 00:30:27,292 --> 00:30:29,817 Okay, you guys. This is a simple channeling exercise. 735 00:30:29,928 --> 00:30:31,293 Okay. 736 00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:33,455 - This is creepy. - Shh. 737 00:30:33,531 --> 00:30:36,557 All right, Kisha, now just breathe. Relax. 738 00:30:36,634 --> 00:30:38,966 Do you feel anything? 739 00:30:39,070 --> 00:30:40,560 No, not really. 740 00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:42,629 What about you, Malcolm? 741 00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:45,566 Just your dick in my back. 742 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,002 Well, that's a start. 743 00:30:50,315 --> 00:30:53,079 Now, there are two kinds of paranormal entities. 744 00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:56,245 I specialize in the good ones. 745 00:30:56,321 --> 00:30:58,755 Okay, yeah, like Casper the Friendly Ghost. 746 00:30:58,890 --> 00:31:01,188 Oh! Yeah, he's fun. 747 00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:03,625 And also Patrick Swayze from Ghost. 748 00:31:04,195 --> 00:31:05,458 I love that movie. 749 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,623 Yes, that one was really moving. 750 00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:10,224 Especially with the clay, and he'd work the clay and just... 751 00:31:11,135 --> 00:31:12,733 And he just fuckin' has it, and... 752 00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:16,305 Demons, though, are bad. 753 00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:19,532 Those are pure, pure, pure evil. 754 00:31:19,644 --> 00:31:22,841 And they will pop up at the worst possible times. 755 00:31:22,947 --> 00:31:24,938 You know, like herpes. 756 00:31:28,319 --> 00:31:29,650 What? 757 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,313 What are you looking at me for? 758 00:31:32,657 --> 00:31:36,286 All I'm saying is, do not aggravate a demon. 759 00:31:36,361 --> 00:31:37,794 Do not try to contact them, 760 00:31:37,862 --> 00:31:41,195 and whatever you do, do not film them. 761 00:31:41,466 --> 00:31:42,763 That will only make things worse. 762 00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:44,995 See? Don't film demons. 763 00:31:45,069 --> 00:31:46,866 - Very bad. - Okay. 764 00:31:48,506 --> 00:31:49,905 Well, thanks a lot for coming out, man. 765 00:31:50,008 --> 00:31:51,809 Is there anything you wanna get off your chest? 766 00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:53,003 No, I'm good. 767 00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:54,635 Is there anything you want to put on my chest? 768 00:31:54,779 --> 00:31:56,179 Huh? Wait'll you see the clay scene. 769 00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:57,544 Wait, wait. Uh... 770 00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:00,649 I have a confession to make. 771 00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:02,185 Yep, herpes! I knew it. 772 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,686 - Oh! Ick! - No, I don't! 773 00:32:05,023 --> 00:32:08,015 But did I mention that I made a deal with the devil 774 00:32:08,092 --> 00:32:10,060 for a pair of really cool Louboutins? 775 00:32:10,161 --> 00:32:12,891 You made a deal with the devil for a pair of shoes? 776 00:32:12,997 --> 00:32:15,932 Not shoes, Malcolm! Louboutins, okay? 777 00:32:16,034 --> 00:32:19,333 They've got red soles, and they make my calves pop! 778 00:32:21,406 --> 00:32:23,840 Well, I really needed them, okay? 779 00:32:23,908 --> 00:32:28,140 You are screwed, sista, 780 00:32:28,212 --> 00:32:29,577 with an "A." 781 00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:33,515 This demon is not leaving this house until it gets what it wants. 782 00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:35,347 What's that? 783 00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:36,910 Kisha. 784 00:32:38,423 --> 00:32:39,788 You're fine, Malcolm. 785 00:32:39,857 --> 00:32:42,155 Like, you're free to be whoever you want. 786 00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:43,484 It's a five-man wrestling league. 787 00:32:43,561 --> 00:32:44,550 I'm good. 788 00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:45,653 It's so fun. 789 00:32:45,730 --> 00:32:46,851 I bet it is. It's not for me. 790 00:32:46,864 --> 00:32:48,229 - And everyone's really good. - Really? 791 00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:49,561 Yeah, no, but it's competitive. 792 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,295 It's something that... 793 00:32:52,236 --> 00:32:54,534 Oh, my God. I'm getting mind powers. 794 00:32:54,605 --> 00:32:56,596 - Okay. All right. - I'm getting mind powers. 795 00:32:57,408 --> 00:33:02,237 Malcolm, something is going to happen to you 796 00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:04,747 that is going to change you. 797 00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:06,742 Don't fight it. 798 00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:08,258 Whatever it is, don't fight it, okay? 799 00:33:08,319 --> 00:33:10,310 - Okay, I won't. I won't. - I can save you. 800 00:33:10,388 --> 00:33:12,117 It's five guys. We wrestle on Monday. 801 00:33:12,223 --> 00:33:13,247 Okay. 802 00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:15,087 - I can save you. - No, thank you. 803 00:33:15,159 --> 00:33:16,649 Save you! 804 00:33:16,761 --> 00:33:17,785 God. 805 00:33:17,862 --> 00:33:19,386 I think that went well. 806 00:33:19,464 --> 00:33:21,261 We need to talk. 807 00:33:21,332 --> 00:33:22,094 A demon, Kisha? 808 00:33:22,533 --> 00:33:24,626 I'm sorry, Malcolm. 809 00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:27,261 Why... Why didn't you tell me this, like, on the first date? 810 00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:29,431 Because you never would have gone out with me again. 811 00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,168 Exactly! 812 00:33:31,642 --> 00:33:34,076 How long has this been happening to you? 813 00:33:34,145 --> 00:33:35,806 Since I was a little kid. 814 00:33:35,913 --> 00:33:37,972 What the shit is this? 815 00:33:38,883 --> 00:33:40,403 And you say I tape everything. 816 00:33:40,818 --> 00:33:42,445 Mm. Mm-mm-mm. 817 00:33:50,128 --> 00:33:53,393 Happy birthday, Kisha. Mama loves you. 818 00:33:53,831 --> 00:33:55,992 Ooh! To think you almost didn't make it. 819 00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:58,035 But good thing that clinic was closed. 820 00:33:58,169 --> 00:34:00,501 Ooh! God is good all the time. 821 00:34:00,738 --> 00:34:03,502 You are eight years old. Enjoy your birthday. 822 00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,541 Sooner or later, you're gonna come home from school one day. 823 00:34:06,644 --> 00:34:08,164 "Where's stepdaddy? Where's stepdaddy?" 824 00:34:08,212 --> 00:34:10,180 And I'm gonna be gone. 825 00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:14,049 Happy birthday, Kisha. Make a wish. 826 00:34:14,152 --> 00:34:15,312 - Sit right there. - All right. 827 00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:16,410 Happy birthday to me. 828 00:34:16,521 --> 00:34:19,081 I wish Tony can stay with me forever. 829 00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:20,383 Who is Tony? 830 00:34:20,491 --> 00:34:22,186 - Who is Tony, baby? - He's my friend. 831 00:34:22,260 --> 00:34:23,581 If you have friends, they'd all be 832 00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:25,425 gathered around here drinking beer, 833 00:34:25,530 --> 00:34:27,088 smoking cigarettes, having a good time, 834 00:34:27,198 --> 00:34:28,597 gambling, playing cards and stuff. 835 00:34:28,699 --> 00:34:29,893 She talking about her invisible friend. 836 00:34:29,967 --> 00:34:31,332 I guess we should be nice about it. 837 00:34:31,402 --> 00:34:33,233 You gonna blow it out? Or you just gonna look at us crazy? 838 00:34:33,438 --> 00:34:34,837 Dang. She ain't all there. 839 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,032 Why is she looking at me like that? 840 00:34:36,107 --> 00:34:38,075 Lookin' all crazy. You crazy. 841 00:34:38,176 --> 00:34:41,509 Look, look, look, look, look. She got a lazy eye. 842 00:34:42,713 --> 00:34:43,753 Blow them damn candles out. 843 00:34:43,781 --> 00:34:45,442 Blow 'em out. I wanna get her blowing out the candles. 844 00:34:45,550 --> 00:34:47,518 - I know what I'm doing, woman. - Do not yell at me. 845 00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:48,950 Blow out the candles, baby. 846 00:34:49,853 --> 00:34:51,180 Tony, no! 847 00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:55,117 You wanna throw cake on my brand-new Betamax? 848 00:34:55,226 --> 00:34:57,194 You must be crazy! 849 00:34:57,628 --> 00:34:59,152 Ow! It wasn't me. It was Tony. 850 00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:01,357 I'm-a beat the Tony out of you then. 851 00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:03,594 Ah, ah, ah. Lamar, not so hard. 852 00:35:03,668 --> 00:35:04,794 You're gonna break your new belt. 853 00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:05,926 This is how you beat a stepchild. 854 00:35:06,037 --> 00:35:07,527 I won't beat my own kids like this. 855 00:35:08,172 --> 00:35:09,264 I know that's right. 856 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,412 Anything else you wanna tell me? 857 00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:19,809 Well, 858 00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:21,345 about the herpes. 859 00:35:22,386 --> 00:35:24,251 - Baby, what are you doing? - Huh? 860 00:35:24,322 --> 00:35:27,120 Oh, nothing. I'm just... Just cleaning, that's all. 861 00:35:27,225 --> 00:35:29,056 You ever get that not-so-fresh feeling? 862 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,218 Seriously, Malcolm? 863 00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:32,626 Seriously, we're gonna have to talk about your lies. 864 00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,723 Oh, that's fizzing. It's fizzing. 865 00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:36,058 It's herpes, Kisha. 866 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,932 This ain't a cold sore, Kisha. This is the real thing. 867 00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:42,234 Ah! You did this to me. 868 00:35:42,773 --> 00:35:45,241 Get a match! Get the goddamn match! 869 00:35:49,747 --> 00:35:51,180 That hurt. Whoa! 870 00:36:49,507 --> 00:36:50,997 What the hell? 871 00:36:51,175 --> 00:36:52,403 What happened? 872 00:36:54,611 --> 00:36:55,479 Did... 873 00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:57,411 What'd you slap me for? 874 00:36:57,515 --> 00:36:59,005 Was I snoring? 875 00:36:59,417 --> 00:37:00,577 Kisha! 876 00:37:01,152 --> 00:37:02,312 Kisha! 877 00:37:03,921 --> 00:37:04,979 The hell? 878 00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:07,050 Kisha. 879 00:37:07,858 --> 00:37:08,916 Kisha. 880 00:37:09,026 --> 00:37:10,516 What the hell? 881 00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:12,151 Kisha. 882 00:37:12,563 --> 00:37:14,428 Oh, shit! Kisha, what the... 883 00:37:17,268 --> 00:37:18,735 Kisha, what are you doing? 884 00:37:19,770 --> 00:37:22,261 What? Oh, that is gross. 885 00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,765 Wait! No, baby, that milk is three weeks old. 886 00:37:25,042 --> 00:37:29,775 Oh! Baby. Baby, what are you doing? 887 00:37:32,283 --> 00:37:35,548 I'll run to the store. We're out of milk. 888 00:37:36,220 --> 00:37:37,860 - I'll be right back. - No, no, you... No, no. 889 00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:38,584 Give me that. 890 00:37:41,525 --> 00:37:43,015 Honey, honey. 891 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:45,062 - Where do you keep the Pepto? - Oh, man. 892 00:37:45,129 --> 00:37:47,188 Where do you keep the Pepto? My stomach hurts. 893 00:37:48,031 --> 00:37:49,196 What are you doing? 894 00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:51,528 I'm looking at the tape from last night. 895 00:37:52,803 --> 00:37:54,202 Honey, you make me feel good. 896 00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:57,070 Okay. Maybe some sleep will make you feel good. 897 00:37:57,475 --> 00:37:58,874 Oh, my God. 898 00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:02,378 I don't remember doing any of this. What am I doing? 899 00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:04,812 Acting like a freak. This is crazy. 900 00:38:05,149 --> 00:38:06,912 Wait, look at this. Check this out. 901 00:38:07,051 --> 00:38:09,576 Something weird... Weird-weird-weird is going on. 902 00:38:11,589 --> 00:38:14,251 Something weird is going on. 903 00:38:14,825 --> 00:38:16,759 Meow. Honey, you make me feel good. 904 00:38:18,562 --> 00:38:19,589 Weird is going on. 905 00:38:19,664 --> 00:38:21,632 Weird is going on. Weird-weird-weird is going on. 906 00:38:21,732 --> 00:38:22,756 Whoo! 907 00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:24,834 Weird-weird-weird-weird is going on. 908 00:38:24,935 --> 00:38:27,426 I'm a scary ghost! 909 00:38:32,143 --> 00:38:33,167 I can't breathe. 910 00:38:33,911 --> 00:38:35,238 Baby, you mad? 911 00:38:35,546 --> 00:38:36,535 Baby. 912 00:38:39,016 --> 00:38:40,278 Malcolm! 913 00:38:41,185 --> 00:38:42,675 It's not a joke! 914 00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:46,086 Come on. I'm just trying to make light of a bad situation. 915 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,250 Bad situation? So, what, now you're referring 916 00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:50,294 to my moving in as a bad situation? 917 00:38:50,361 --> 00:38:52,795 I didn't have a demon in my house till you moved in. 918 00:38:52,863 --> 00:38:55,491 What happened to, "You're living with me now. I'll protect you"? 919 00:38:55,599 --> 00:38:57,692 From a burglar, not a ghost! 920 00:38:58,135 --> 00:38:59,466 You know what? I ain't listening to this. 921 00:38:59,537 --> 00:39:01,767 Where do you think you're going? 922 00:39:01,839 --> 00:39:03,033 Out. 923 00:39:03,374 --> 00:39:07,140 Oh, okay! So you're just gonna leave me here alone? 924 00:39:07,445 --> 00:39:08,469 Malcolm! 925 00:39:48,986 --> 00:39:49,975 Malcolm! 926 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:51,655 Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming! 927 00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:52,746 What, what, what, what? 928 00:39:52,823 --> 00:39:53,812 Look at this! 929 00:39:54,525 --> 00:39:56,254 Oh, wow. What the... 930 00:39:57,261 --> 00:39:58,922 Oh, Daddy! 931 00:40:01,265 --> 00:40:02,527 Malcolm! 932 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,834 Oh, shit. 933 00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:07,393 What kind of monster would do this? 934 00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:09,497 Uh, uh, baby, you were right. 935 00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:12,004 Listen, there is an evil spirit in this house. 936 00:40:12,076 --> 00:40:13,600 I believe you. I was so dumb. 937 00:40:13,711 --> 00:40:14,837 I can't believe I didn't believe. 938 00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:17,540 Oh, shit. I feel it. Oh, my God. It's right there. 939 00:40:17,615 --> 00:40:19,105 You feel that? Feel it, feel it, feel it. 940 00:40:19,216 --> 00:40:21,047 It's cold, right? Oh, my God! 941 00:40:21,118 --> 00:40:23,678 Baby, we have to get rid of this menace once and for all. 942 00:40:23,754 --> 00:40:25,244 Ooh! The tape! We can watch the tape. 943 00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:27,221 Wait, no! No, no, no. Don't watch the tape. 944 00:40:27,291 --> 00:40:28,622 - Don't watch the tape. - What? 945 00:40:28,726 --> 00:40:30,921 Because it's just me and you against him. 946 00:40:31,028 --> 00:40:34,862 You evil spirit! You leave this house alone! 947 00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:36,259 Now! 948 00:40:36,634 --> 00:40:38,534 You hear me? You get out! 949 00:40:38,602 --> 00:40:40,229 - Get out, demon. - Get out! 950 00:40:40,304 --> 00:40:41,862 Get out, get out, get out! 951 00:40:42,373 --> 00:40:43,362 - See, I believe you. - No. 952 00:40:43,707 --> 00:40:45,299 I need you to shut up once and for all. 953 00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:47,276 - Let's watch the tape. - I am shutting up! God! 954 00:40:57,788 --> 00:40:59,312 Hi, Daddy. 955 00:40:59,657 --> 00:41:02,626 You want to come in here and move in on my house? Huh? 956 00:41:03,994 --> 00:41:06,986 You like haunting people, huh? I ain't scared of you. 957 00:41:07,097 --> 00:41:08,121 Uh, baby? Um... 958 00:41:08,232 --> 00:41:09,256 Fuck you, and fuck your daddy! 959 00:41:09,333 --> 00:41:10,493 This is disturbing. You don't want to see it. 960 00:41:10,601 --> 00:41:11,932 I will break your arm. 961 00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:13,998 You wanna watch TV? 962 00:41:15,573 --> 00:41:16,699 Wow! 963 00:41:17,607 --> 00:41:19,037 Oh. Oh, my. 964 00:41:22,446 --> 00:41:23,879 See, that hurt. Lookee. 965 00:41:23,948 --> 00:41:25,708 - I got a boo-boo, baby, right... - I don't care. 966 00:41:30,621 --> 00:41:31,645 Oh! 967 00:41:32,990 --> 00:41:35,788 On my father's ashes! Really? 968 00:41:36,260 --> 00:41:38,820 You think you the shit? I'll show you the shit. 969 00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:41,457 Nasty! That is so nasty. 970 00:41:41,532 --> 00:41:42,521 I will... 971 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:43,658 On the floor? Really? 972 00:41:43,767 --> 00:41:46,429 So, what did you do, wipe your ass with the curtains? 973 00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:52,699 Baby, you didn't like the curtains anyway. 974 00:41:52,810 --> 00:41:54,300 - You're an animal. - We'll get new curtains. 975 00:41:54,378 --> 00:41:55,504 It's just curtains. 976 00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:58,138 I'd be an animal if I didn't wipe at all. Baby! 977 00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:00,177 - This isn't gonna prove any... - Yes, it is! 978 00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:03,877 I swear that I will listen to Kisha 979 00:42:03,988 --> 00:42:07,151 whenever she says strange things are going on in the house. 980 00:42:07,491 --> 00:42:08,549 And? 981 00:42:08,659 --> 00:42:10,024 And... 982 00:42:10,561 --> 00:42:14,895 And I swear that I won't antagonize the ghost anymore. 983 00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:17,490 Even though I didn't bring him in the house. 984 00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:18,893 And? 985 00:42:19,670 --> 00:42:22,366 And I swear that Kisha is the prettiest 986 00:42:22,473 --> 00:42:24,839 and the sexiest girl for never. 987 00:42:26,143 --> 00:42:27,167 And? 988 00:42:27,244 --> 00:42:29,269 And I promise I won't shit in your daddy's ashes. 989 00:42:29,346 --> 00:42:30,370 Louder! 990 00:42:30,447 --> 00:42:31,505 I promise I won't shit 991 00:42:31,582 --> 00:42:34,346 on Kisha's daddy's ashes ever again. 992 00:42:35,085 --> 00:42:36,416 - Happy? - Yes. 993 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,181 - Can I have my video game back now? - No! 994 00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:40,716 See, man? 995 00:42:42,826 --> 00:42:44,418 Why are you putting powder on the floor? 996 00:42:44,528 --> 00:42:47,395 See, the powder is gonna let me see his footprints. 997 00:42:47,698 --> 00:42:49,893 And you think this is gonna work. 998 00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:51,491 It did on Scooby-Doo. 999 00:43:01,879 --> 00:43:03,540 Malcolm, did you hear that? 1000 00:43:03,647 --> 00:43:04,773 Mm-hmm. 1001 00:43:04,949 --> 00:43:07,679 Then why are you pretending to be asleep? 1002 00:43:07,885 --> 00:43:08,943 'Cause I know if I'm up, 1003 00:43:09,053 --> 00:43:10,042 you're gonna make me go check out 1004 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,281 where them scary-ass noises are coming from. 1005 00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:14,691 Get your black ass up. 1006 00:43:15,225 --> 00:43:16,522 See, man? 1007 00:43:22,032 --> 00:43:23,192 Kisha. 1008 00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:26,408 Camera. Get the camera. Get the camera. 1009 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,068 Whose plan was stupid now, Kisha? Hmm? 1010 00:43:32,309 --> 00:43:34,140 - Pass me a bat. - A bat? 1011 00:43:34,244 --> 00:43:35,565 You're gonna use a bat on a ghost? 1012 00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:37,877 I'm sorry. I left my proton pack in the car. 1013 00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:38,937 Pass me the bat. 1014 00:43:39,116 --> 00:43:41,277 This ghost's got some ugly-ass feet. 1015 00:43:41,385 --> 00:43:42,613 Looks more like an alien. 1016 00:43:44,488 --> 00:43:46,089 I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna do it. 1017 00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,985 - I can't do it. I can't do it. - What? 1018 00:43:48,058 --> 00:43:49,286 - Malcolm! - No, this... No. 1019 00:43:49,393 --> 00:43:50,655 This ain't what we do. 1020 00:43:50,761 --> 00:43:52,251 - This is for white people. - Will you grow some balls! 1021 00:43:52,329 --> 00:43:54,991 This is for white people. This ain't what niggers do. 1022 00:43:55,065 --> 00:43:57,761 We don't investigate. We run. We run, we live. 1023 00:43:57,835 --> 00:43:59,632 If we was in a movie theater, some black woman be screaming, 1024 00:43:59,737 --> 00:44:01,637 "Don't do it! Don't do it, boy!" 1025 00:44:01,739 --> 00:44:03,536 "He behind there. He in there." 1026 00:44:03,607 --> 00:44:06,075 If we know he's in there, why the fuck are we going in there? 1027 00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:07,334 Come on, baby. 1028 00:44:07,411 --> 00:44:09,276 I don't want to do it. 1029 00:44:09,346 --> 00:44:11,246 - Stop it. - What if it bites me? 1030 00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:13,340 It's not a zombie. It's a ghost. 1031 00:44:13,450 --> 00:44:15,179 - You wanna play? - That's right! 1032 00:44:15,285 --> 00:44:17,276 You hurt my mother. You killed my mother. 1033 00:44:17,354 --> 00:44:18,616 That's right! 1034 00:44:18,689 --> 00:44:20,350 That's not helping. It's not helping none. 1035 00:44:20,691 --> 00:44:22,249 You got this. Go. 1036 00:44:24,094 --> 00:44:25,655 You want some of this? This is how we... 1037 00:44:25,663 --> 00:44:26,423 Get him! 1038 00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:28,491 - Bust your... - Whoop that ghost's ass! 1039 00:44:28,565 --> 00:44:31,625 Turn on the lights! Oh, my God! Rosa? 1040 00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:32,999 Rosa? Rosa! Rosa! 1041 00:44:33,070 --> 00:44:34,799 Si, señor! Que pasa? 1042 00:44:34,872 --> 00:44:37,102 Oh, my... I'm so sorry. I thought you... 1043 00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:39,938 I... I didn't know. I thought you was a ghost. 1044 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:41,477 - Ghost? - Or an alien. 1045 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:46,275 I was talking about your feet, not your citizenship or lack thereof. 1046 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:47,408 I quit. 1047 00:44:47,484 --> 00:44:48,883 See? Give me the camera! 1048 00:44:48,986 --> 00:44:50,010 Go fix this. 1049 00:44:50,087 --> 00:44:51,179 No! I'm not fixing nothing! 1050 00:44:51,288 --> 00:44:53,449 Oh, can't believe Rosa quit. 1051 00:44:54,425 --> 00:44:57,883 Yeah, well, you know, this is stressful on all of us. 1052 00:44:58,829 --> 00:45:01,525 I think I might have a little something to help alleviate 1053 00:45:01,598 --> 00:45:02,929 some of that stress. 1054 00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:06,199 - Take it. You hit it. - Yeah? 1055 00:45:06,303 --> 00:45:09,136 Now you gonna go spit up the end and shit. 1056 00:45:09,206 --> 00:45:10,400 Hold it, hold it. 1057 00:45:14,144 --> 00:45:16,374 Damn! 1058 00:45:16,780 --> 00:45:19,374 Yay! Bravo. Encore, encore. 1059 00:45:20,017 --> 00:45:21,985 I see a face in the chip. 1060 00:45:23,052 --> 00:45:24,015 It's got a mustache. 1061 00:45:24,088 --> 00:45:25,316 - You're not moving... - Never get high. 1062 00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:27,254 - ...fast enough, Malcolm. - Never get high 1063 00:45:27,324 --> 00:45:29,044 with people that don't know how to get high. 1064 00:45:29,393 --> 00:45:30,724 I'm baked. 1065 00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:58,987 Oh, shit. 1066 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,489 Los Angeles County, 911. 1067 00:46:16,473 --> 00:46:18,441 My dick! 1068 00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:22,177 He fell for it! 1069 00:46:23,147 --> 00:46:24,671 No, I don't want to. 1070 00:46:25,916 --> 00:46:28,544 Okay. Okay, I'll do it. 1071 00:46:35,058 --> 00:46:38,892 Yeah! That's a shotgun for your ass. Whoo-hoo-hoo! 1072 00:46:42,499 --> 00:46:43,727 Is he gone? Oh, he's gone. 1073 00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:44,825 Wow! 1074 00:46:44,935 --> 00:46:46,630 That's that Criss Angel shit right there. 1075 00:46:46,737 --> 00:46:48,762 - Yo, that ghost good. - That ghost good. 1076 00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:50,306 - That ghost good. - That ghost good. 1077 00:46:55,312 --> 00:46:56,677 - Oh, my God. - What? 1078 00:46:56,747 --> 00:46:58,078 That was awesome! 1079 00:47:06,556 --> 00:47:08,154 Disgusting! 1080 00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:10,523 - Malcolm, wake up. - Mmm? 1081 00:47:11,295 --> 00:47:12,956 You peed the bed. 1082 00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:15,522 What? 1083 00:47:15,599 --> 00:47:16,793 You peed the bed. 1084 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,025 Oh, shit! Oh! 1085 00:47:20,437 --> 00:47:21,802 Oh, that's... 1086 00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:24,600 That's not funny. 1087 00:47:25,108 --> 00:47:26,803 Oh, that's fucked up. 1088 00:47:27,444 --> 00:47:28,968 That's real fucked up. 1089 00:47:31,281 --> 00:47:33,442 Hey, Steve, thanks a lot for bringing the Ouija board over, man. 1090 00:47:33,517 --> 00:47:34,711 - I really appreciate that. - Oh, no worries, bro. 1091 00:47:34,785 --> 00:47:35,809 - Hopefully... - Hey, baby. 1092 00:47:35,886 --> 00:47:36,875 Can you grab the wine? 1093 00:47:36,987 --> 00:47:40,445 Oh, hey, Kisha, the dinner was so amazing. 1094 00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:44,790 The chicken was unbelievably tender and real juicy. 1095 00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:47,092 Oh, well, actually, that was all Malcolm. 1096 00:47:47,164 --> 00:47:49,257 Was it now? I'll be damned. 1097 00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:52,825 Well, thanks for letting me nibble on the leg because I love dark meat. 1098 00:47:53,503 --> 00:47:55,733 Mmm. Well, that is true. She eats it up. 1099 00:47:55,806 --> 00:47:57,740 - I bet she does. - She eats it all up. 1100 00:47:58,875 --> 00:47:59,274 Yeah. 1101 00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:00,776 You guys are gonna love this wine. 1102 00:48:00,844 --> 00:48:02,539 It is a very robust red. 1103 00:48:02,613 --> 00:48:03,637 Yum. 1104 00:48:03,714 --> 00:48:05,545 Well, you know what they say. 1105 00:48:05,649 --> 00:48:07,879 "The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice." 1106 00:48:08,018 --> 00:48:09,212 Mm-hmm. 1107 00:48:09,319 --> 00:48:11,810 Okay, y'all need to cut this out. 1108 00:48:12,155 --> 00:48:14,020 Well, you know what? Normally, we don't have to chase this hard. 1109 00:48:14,091 --> 00:48:15,115 Mm-hmm. 1110 00:48:15,192 --> 00:48:16,523 - Steve... - Hmm? 1111 00:48:16,593 --> 00:48:19,084 I was talking about that stupid board. 1112 00:48:21,164 --> 00:48:23,394 Baby, I just want to communicate with it. 1113 00:48:25,135 --> 00:48:28,127 Are you a ghost or a demon? 1114 00:48:30,641 --> 00:48:32,165 - Who's doing that? - Malcolm. Who's doing that? 1115 00:48:32,276 --> 00:48:34,141 I don't know. It's not me. I swear to God. 1116 00:48:34,211 --> 00:48:36,611 "G." 1117 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:37,806 You guys. 1118 00:48:37,881 --> 00:48:39,576 "O." 1119 00:48:39,650 --> 00:48:41,690 - Steve, are you pushing this? - I'm not doing anything. 1120 00:48:41,718 --> 00:48:43,618 Oh, what? "S." 1121 00:48:43,687 --> 00:48:44,745 Go where... 1122 00:48:45,856 --> 00:48:47,118 "T." 1123 00:48:48,492 --> 00:48:50,983 A "gost?" What the hell is a "gost"? 1124 00:48:51,061 --> 00:48:53,291 Oh, maybe he's trying to spell "ghost." 1125 00:48:53,363 --> 00:48:55,058 Are you trying to spell "ghost"? 1126 00:48:56,633 --> 00:48:57,657 You're doing that? 1127 00:48:57,734 --> 00:48:59,031 No. I'm not moving it, I swear. 1128 00:49:01,138 --> 00:49:02,230 "Yes." 1129 00:49:03,373 --> 00:49:05,967 Wait. So, he just spelled "ghost" "gost." 1130 00:49:07,444 --> 00:49:11,005 What kind of illiterate, bitch-ass ghost is this? 1131 00:49:11,081 --> 00:49:13,641 Please. Can you please use "gost" in a sentence? 1132 00:49:13,717 --> 00:49:14,914 Yeah, right. 1133 00:49:15,585 --> 00:49:17,018 Up yours, you stupid "gost." 1134 00:49:18,689 --> 00:49:19,849 He probably dyslexic, too. 1135 00:49:19,923 --> 00:49:22,187 He probably spells "boo," O-O-B. 1136 00:49:29,566 --> 00:49:31,056 Somebody's sensitive. 1137 00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:32,158 And stupid. 1138 00:49:35,572 --> 00:49:38,012 You know what? I think we'll probably just show ourselves out. 1139 00:50:07,137 --> 00:50:08,263 Good morning, honey. 1140 00:50:08,405 --> 00:50:09,565 - Good morning. - Mmm. 1141 00:50:13,944 --> 00:50:15,536 Well, all right. 1142 00:50:16,545 --> 00:50:21,845 Baby, that is the best night's sleep I've had since I moved in. 1143 00:50:22,185 --> 00:50:24,386 Well, maybe because you made me sleep in the other room. 1144 00:50:25,655 --> 00:50:27,350 What are you talking about? 1145 00:50:27,424 --> 00:50:29,415 We had a breakthrough last night. 1146 00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:31,790 A breakthrough? Really? 1147 00:50:31,895 --> 00:50:33,453 Yes, Malcolm. 1148 00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:38,558 The way that you touched me, caressed me, made love to me. 1149 00:50:40,570 --> 00:50:42,663 What are you talking about? 1150 00:50:42,739 --> 00:50:45,333 Malcolm, we had sex last night! 1151 00:50:45,409 --> 00:50:46,637 No, we didn't. 1152 00:50:46,710 --> 00:50:48,575 Yes, we did. For about two hours! 1153 00:50:48,678 --> 00:50:50,908 Uh, that definitely wasn't me. 1154 00:50:51,014 --> 00:50:52,845 Well, who else could it have been? 1155 00:50:55,952 --> 00:50:57,078 No, get off of me! 1156 00:51:08,063 --> 00:51:09,061 Oh, my God. 1157 00:51:15,572 --> 00:51:16,732 Mmm, Malcolm. 1158 00:51:17,340 --> 00:51:18,671 What? 1159 00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:20,334 Ooh, that's new. 1160 00:51:24,046 --> 00:51:26,044 Are you doing the alphabet? 1161 00:51:26,850 --> 00:51:28,909 Uh-uh, nigger, clean your plate. Come on. 1162 00:51:30,087 --> 00:51:33,386 Slob it down, slob it down. 1163 00:51:33,457 --> 00:51:35,287 Waterboarding your ass. 1164 00:51:36,726 --> 00:51:38,284 Mm, Malcolm. Did you grow? 1165 00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:42,360 Ride the pony! Ride it. Oh! 1166 00:51:43,700 --> 00:51:45,725 Oh! Get it! Get it! Get it! Oh, I've had it. 1167 00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:49,072 Oh, yeah! Dip it! Dip it down! 1168 00:51:49,973 --> 00:51:51,031 I can't watch. 1169 00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,370 - Why don't I finish up... - I can't watch anymore. 1170 00:51:52,442 --> 00:51:54,003 - I just can't watch anymore. - I'll finish. 1171 00:52:01,718 --> 00:52:03,413 Uh-uh, you ain't done yet. 1172 00:52:12,996 --> 00:52:15,430 I had no idea you was a squirter. 1173 00:52:17,501 --> 00:52:19,128 Neither did I? 1174 00:52:22,272 --> 00:52:23,899 - Hey. - Don't touch me. 1175 00:52:25,074 --> 00:52:28,010 You seriously have an attitude with me right now? 1176 00:52:28,078 --> 00:52:29,807 - You liked it. - What? 1177 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,311 You heard me. You liked it. 1178 00:52:32,415 --> 00:52:34,781 You like having sex with that thing 1179 00:52:34,851 --> 00:52:36,409 more than you like having sex with me. 1180 00:52:37,921 --> 00:52:40,412 Malcolm, I was asleep. 1181 00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:42,018 - Mm-hmm. Talk to the hand. - I was... 1182 00:52:42,092 --> 00:52:43,320 That's the hand. Talk to it. 1183 00:52:43,393 --> 00:52:44,587 I was asleep, okay? 1184 00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:46,424 I didn't know I was having sex with a ghost. 1185 00:52:46,530 --> 00:52:47,622 Aha! 1186 00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:50,061 You just admitted to having sex with a ghost! 1187 00:52:50,133 --> 00:52:53,694 And you liked it! "Oh, Malcolm, you grew." 1188 00:52:54,337 --> 00:52:55,429 What happened, Kisha? 1189 00:52:55,505 --> 00:52:57,132 I'm not adequate enough for you? 1190 00:52:57,274 --> 00:53:00,402 Huh? I'm sorry. I tried Extense, Kisha. 1191 00:53:00,477 --> 00:53:01,677 Went through the whole program. 1192 00:53:01,711 --> 00:53:04,373 I did Cialis, Viagra and Maca. 1193 00:53:04,447 --> 00:53:06,039 Okay. All it did was get me dizzy, 1194 00:53:06,116 --> 00:53:07,640 - you know... - Okay, stop it, all right? 1195 00:53:07,717 --> 00:53:09,617 - That is not fair! - I was anally bleeding 1196 00:53:09,686 --> 00:53:11,313 for a month, and you didn't even know. 1197 00:53:11,388 --> 00:53:13,117 Listen, that is not fair, 1198 00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:16,125 because I'm the one who was violated, not you. 1199 00:53:20,697 --> 00:53:22,028 I'm sorry. 1200 00:53:22,132 --> 00:53:23,929 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1201 00:53:26,302 --> 00:53:28,102 Must have been a horrific experience for you. 1202 00:53:28,171 --> 00:53:29,331 I'm sorry. 1203 00:53:29,906 --> 00:53:32,374 Eh, could have been worse. 1204 00:53:34,644 --> 00:53:35,872 Hey, cuz... Ray-Ray. 1205 00:53:35,946 --> 00:53:36,986 You got a beef up in here? 1206 00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:39,106 Lots of niggers. Not beef. Hey... 1207 00:53:39,182 --> 00:53:41,173 Hey, what the fuck is you taping for, Kisha? 1208 00:53:41,251 --> 00:53:43,219 We thugs. We can't be on no TV! 1209 00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:45,185 Shut up, Ray-Ray. 1210 00:53:45,255 --> 00:53:46,984 - Get the fuck off me. - Okay. Sorry. 1211 00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:48,490 So, what's going on with this beef, homey? 1212 00:53:48,558 --> 00:53:50,583 It's that old bitch next door, ain't it, homey? 1213 00:53:50,694 --> 00:53:52,184 Yeah, she was eyeballing me, cuz, 1214 00:53:52,262 --> 00:53:54,423 when I was all up in her windowsill last night. 1215 00:53:54,531 --> 00:53:56,931 But she got a nice body, though, cuz. 1216 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,093 You know, like a sexy-ass baked potato, homey. 1217 00:53:59,169 --> 00:54:00,261 It's not like that. 1218 00:54:00,370 --> 00:54:01,850 What the fuck is it like, then, homey? 1219 00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:04,339 Well, someone's coming between me and Kisha. 1220 00:54:04,407 --> 00:54:06,136 Somebody fucked your girl, cuz? 1221 00:54:06,209 --> 00:54:07,938 Well, not... I be the one that fucked your girl! 1222 00:54:08,044 --> 00:54:09,170 Oh, please. 1223 00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:11,407 How you let somebody fuck your girl before me, cuz? 1224 00:54:11,514 --> 00:54:12,674 We family, nigger! 1225 00:54:12,749 --> 00:54:13,875 I... I'm sorry... Kinda. 1226 00:54:13,950 --> 00:54:16,783 How the fuck do you "kinda" bang Kisha, homey? 1227 00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:19,446 Did he have one pant leg in, one pant leg out? 1228 00:54:19,522 --> 00:54:21,490 Like, he wasn't even interested in fucking her, homey? 1229 00:54:21,558 --> 00:54:23,150 Like, he had somewhere better to be, homey? 1230 00:54:23,226 --> 00:54:25,194 Okay, Ray-Ray, that is not what it's like. 1231 00:54:25,262 --> 00:54:28,459 And can you please tell your Negro to back the hell up off me? 1232 00:54:28,531 --> 00:54:30,965 Hey! Pelvis back 2 inches, homey. 1233 00:54:31,067 --> 00:54:32,762 But stay up on her, though. 1234 00:54:32,869 --> 00:54:34,598 What the fuck is it like then, Kisha? Hmm? 1235 00:54:34,671 --> 00:54:36,070 If you listen, I'll tell you. 1236 00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:37,504 You tell me! 1237 00:54:37,574 --> 00:54:39,872 I can't wait to get my hands on this fool. 1238 00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:41,911 - Come on out, cuz! - Ray-Ray, cut it out. 1239 00:54:41,978 --> 00:54:43,673 You're gonna make it mad. 1240 00:54:46,716 --> 00:54:49,276 I don't give a fuck, Kisha! 1241 00:54:49,386 --> 00:54:52,446 He should be worried about making Ray-Ray mad up in here, bitch! 1242 00:54:52,522 --> 00:54:54,080 Who you callin' a bitch? 1243 00:54:54,157 --> 00:54:55,215 Show yourself! 1244 00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:56,589 No, Ray, don't do that! Don't... 1245 00:55:00,563 --> 00:55:02,326 What the fuck is that? 1246 00:55:02,499 --> 00:55:04,364 A ghost, Ray. 1247 00:55:05,335 --> 00:55:07,269 - A "ghost" ghost? - A "ghost" ghost. 1248 00:55:07,337 --> 00:55:08,361 Like a dead ghost? 1249 00:55:08,438 --> 00:55:10,269 Yes! Ray-Ray, that's what we've been trying 1250 00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:12,205 to tell you for 15 minutes! 1251 00:55:12,942 --> 00:55:14,375 You idiot. 1252 00:55:14,444 --> 00:55:19,074 What the... What in the hell... 1253 00:55:20,450 --> 00:55:22,475 What happened to your furniture, cuz? 1254 00:55:31,027 --> 00:55:32,460 Get your hands up, cuz! 1255 00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:33,791 You're trying to get me killed, cuz. 1256 00:55:33,863 --> 00:55:35,387 I didn't, Ray-Ray! Ray! 1257 00:55:36,299 --> 00:55:37,561 God! 1258 00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:41,398 My stuff! 1259 00:55:42,772 --> 00:55:45,605 Babe, you got to admit, it's kind of impressive. 1260 00:55:52,015 --> 00:55:54,142 Perfume? Hey! 1261 00:55:54,484 --> 00:55:56,714 Yeah, it's new. It's called Entity. 1262 00:55:56,786 --> 00:55:58,651 I like it. 1263 00:55:59,489 --> 00:56:01,480 What's the occasion? What's up? 1264 00:56:01,558 --> 00:56:04,459 Malcolm, is it a crime to want to sleep 1265 00:56:04,527 --> 00:56:06,085 with no panties on? 1266 00:56:08,865 --> 00:56:11,732 I get it. This... This ain't for me. 1267 00:56:11,801 --> 00:56:13,291 This is for him. 1268 00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:15,201 Who are you talking about? 1269 00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:17,730 You know exactly who I'm talking about. 1270 00:56:17,841 --> 00:56:20,503 For your little supernatural lover. 1271 00:56:20,643 --> 00:56:22,133 Malcolm, you're being ridiculous, 1272 00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:23,645 and I'm gonna say this right now. 1273 00:56:23,813 --> 00:56:25,644 Insecurity is not attractive. 1274 00:56:25,715 --> 00:56:27,808 Yeah? Well, being a paranormal jump-off 1275 00:56:27,884 --> 00:56:30,682 is not attractive either, hon. Good night. 1276 00:56:30,987 --> 00:56:32,818 - You're taking this too far. - Whatever. 1277 00:56:32,889 --> 00:56:34,982 I have no interest in a ghost. 1278 00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:47,896 You gonna try and contact him? 1279 00:56:49,272 --> 00:56:50,398 - Good night! - I was gonna... 1280 00:56:50,507 --> 00:56:51,565 Good night! 1281 00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,232 Get off of me! 1282 00:58:02,946 --> 00:58:04,504 - Baby. - Hey! 1283 00:58:04,614 --> 00:58:05,740 - Hey. - Hey. 1284 00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:07,176 What's... What's up with the donut? 1285 00:58:07,183 --> 00:58:11,244 Oh, uh, I just got a little hemorrhoid, that's all. 1286 00:58:11,321 --> 00:58:12,652 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Hurts. 1287 00:58:12,755 --> 00:58:15,189 So, anything happen eventful last night? 1288 00:58:15,291 --> 00:58:18,419 No, nothing eventful. Just, you know, the usual. 1289 00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:21,293 Just, like, you know, door slams, stuff like that. 1290 00:58:21,531 --> 00:58:22,731 Oh. I wanna see. 1291 00:58:23,165 --> 00:58:23,857 Nope, nope. 1292 00:58:23,967 --> 00:58:25,088 Nothing for you to see, baby. 1293 00:58:25,101 --> 00:58:26,659 Wait! Baby! 1294 00:58:26,736 --> 00:58:27,794 Hey! 1295 00:58:27,871 --> 00:58:29,202 - Can you... So rude! - Stop! Stop! 1296 00:58:29,305 --> 00:58:30,431 - Hey! Malcolm! - Would you... 1297 00:58:30,507 --> 00:58:31,974 - Cut it... - Just gotta do... 1298 00:58:32,041 --> 00:58:33,440 - Oh, my! - You know what? 1299 00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:35,273 You... You got altar-boyed. 1300 00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:36,607 You know what? 1301 00:58:36,679 --> 00:58:38,670 - You can't... - Malcolm, hold on a second. 1302 00:58:38,781 --> 00:58:40,715 No, no, no, no, no! You just uploaded it! 1303 00:58:40,817 --> 00:58:42,011 No, no, no! 1304 00:58:42,118 --> 00:58:43,380 Oh, no! 1305 00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:48,013 You're gonna be bigger than Charlie Bit My Finger. 1306 00:58:53,630 --> 00:58:55,063 Say hello to the camera. 1307 00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:56,324 Hello, Malcolm... Come on, Kisha. 1308 00:58:56,399 --> 00:58:58,833 Get the camera out my face. I'm not in the mood. Stop it! 1309 00:58:58,902 --> 00:59:00,335 Oh, I see. I see. 1310 00:59:00,403 --> 00:59:04,396 Now that you've been touched by an angel, suddenly you're camera shy? 1311 00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:07,635 Let me ask you a question, Kisha. 1312 00:59:07,710 --> 00:59:09,371 Is this the first ghost you slept with? 1313 00:59:09,479 --> 00:59:11,879 Or it's the first one I caught you with? 1314 00:59:11,981 --> 00:59:13,661 - You wanna go there? - Yeah, I wanna go there. 1315 00:59:13,683 --> 00:59:14,672 When did you become ghost pussy? 1316 00:59:14,851 --> 00:59:15,840 You know what, Malcolm? 1317 00:59:15,919 --> 00:59:19,719 Maybe I wouldn't need a ghost if I was with a real man! 1318 00:59:20,890 --> 00:59:24,223 There are Super Bowl ads that last longer than you do! 1319 00:59:24,294 --> 00:59:25,334 Let me tell you something. 1320 00:59:25,395 --> 00:59:27,727 People wait all year for those Super Bowl ads, baby. 1321 00:59:27,864 --> 00:59:28,888 All year! 1322 00:59:28,998 --> 00:59:31,193 And maybe it's 'cause every time I see you naked, 1323 00:59:31,267 --> 00:59:33,497 all I can think about is you sitting on the toilet, 1324 00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:34,832 playing with a Rubik's Cube! 1325 00:59:34,904 --> 00:59:37,395 I'm sorry, Kisha. Some things just shouldn't be shared. 1326 00:59:37,473 --> 00:59:38,565 I let my guard down and... 1327 00:59:38,641 --> 00:59:39,903 Oh, you let your guard down. 1328 00:59:39,976 --> 00:59:41,170 ...you're gonna throw it back in my face? 1329 00:59:41,244 --> 00:59:42,472 You killed my dog! 1330 00:59:43,045 --> 00:59:44,936 - You have not let this go! - Yeah, let's go there. 1331 00:59:45,014 --> 00:59:46,242 I did not kill your dog! 1332 00:59:46,316 --> 00:59:47,510 You dog murderer. 1333 00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,449 That was my baby, and you killed it on purpose! 1334 00:59:49,552 --> 00:59:50,792 Oh, your baby was 87 years old! 1335 00:59:55,625 --> 00:59:57,024 - Okay. - Okay. 1336 00:59:57,093 --> 00:59:58,390 All right, come on. Let's go outside. 1337 00:59:58,461 --> 01:00:00,361 Okay. Okay. Come on. 1338 01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:01,897 Okay. Go! Okay. 1339 01:00:02,298 --> 01:00:03,492 Do you see that? It's getting worse. 1340 01:00:03,566 --> 01:00:04,897 Well, you heard the psychic, all right? 1341 01:00:05,001 --> 01:00:06,298 It feeds off of negative energy. 1342 01:00:06,369 --> 01:00:07,893 All of your arguing is making it stronger. 1343 01:00:08,004 --> 01:00:09,130 My arguing? My arguing? 1344 01:00:09,205 --> 01:00:10,263 You're the one that... 1345 01:00:10,340 --> 01:00:11,329 That's right. 1346 01:00:11,407 --> 01:00:12,728 - We have to stop fighting. - I can't. 1347 01:00:12,742 --> 01:00:14,073 You are getting on my nerves. 1348 01:00:14,177 --> 01:00:16,042 Well, just pretend. 1349 01:00:25,154 --> 01:00:27,019 Good thing we switched to plastic. 1350 01:00:36,332 --> 01:00:38,061 We'll have to get that pot rack looked at. 1351 01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:39,600 Mm-hmm. 1352 01:00:50,647 --> 01:00:51,705 - Tea's ready. - Mmm. 1353 01:01:01,958 --> 01:01:03,482 I'm gonna make a run to Starbucks. 1354 01:01:12,535 --> 01:01:14,002 Can you pick me up a latte? 1355 01:01:14,070 --> 01:01:15,094 You got it! 1356 01:01:31,287 --> 01:01:32,311 Malcolm! 1357 01:01:41,064 --> 01:01:43,396 Yeah! I kicked you in your ghost balls! 1358 01:01:43,466 --> 01:01:44,763 I got some for you... 1359 01:01:49,338 --> 01:01:50,600 Malcolm! 1360 01:01:50,673 --> 01:01:53,301 Wake up! Nigger, open your eyes! 1361 01:01:53,976 --> 01:01:56,172 Take off those damn headphones! 1362 01:01:56,245 --> 01:01:58,042 Malcolm! 1363 01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:03,784 Malcolm! 1364 01:02:03,853 --> 01:02:05,946 Malcolm! 1365 01:02:18,701 --> 01:02:20,862 Yeah, listen. Something's wrong with Kisha. 1366 01:02:20,937 --> 01:02:23,064 No, no, she's been cleaning all morning. 1367 01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,003 Dude, Kisha don't clean. 1368 01:02:27,143 --> 01:02:29,611 That's good, baby. Not the couch, honey! Not the couch. 1369 01:02:29,679 --> 01:02:31,510 Not the couch. Yes, the floor. 1370 01:02:31,614 --> 01:02:33,980 Yeah, good girl, good girl. 1371 01:02:34,050 --> 01:02:36,780 Yo, man, earlier, I caught her masturbating 1372 01:02:37,386 --> 01:02:38,785 with a crucifix. 1373 01:02:39,688 --> 01:02:40,749 Kisha? 1374 01:02:42,525 --> 01:02:43,856 Wouldn't you rather use this? 1375 01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:50,023 Okay. 1376 01:02:51,167 --> 01:02:52,862 Exactly. I'm... 1377 01:02:54,937 --> 01:02:56,598 Uh, dude, I gotta go. 1378 01:02:56,672 --> 01:02:58,503 No, she's walking the dog. 1379 01:02:59,308 --> 01:03:01,640 What's wrong with that? The dog is dead. 1380 01:03:01,711 --> 01:03:04,179 I gotta go. Uh, Kisha? 1381 01:03:05,348 --> 01:03:07,316 Kisha. Oh, boy. Kisha! 1382 01:03:08,518 --> 01:03:10,850 Kisha? Baby? 1383 01:03:12,488 --> 01:03:15,514 Listen, I just wanted to apologize for the way I been acting. 1384 01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:16,922 I just want to tell you that I love you, 1385 01:03:16,993 --> 01:03:19,518 and I don't want anything to come between us. 1386 01:03:19,595 --> 01:03:22,655 And what the hell is that Twilight shit on your neck? 1387 01:03:23,865 --> 01:03:25,561 Oh, my God! Oh, God! 1388 01:03:26,002 --> 01:03:26,967 What the hell? 1389 01:03:28,771 --> 01:03:31,035 Oh, yeah. She is definitely on the rag. 1390 01:03:32,542 --> 01:03:34,462 Oh, Father. Thank God you could make it. 1391 01:03:35,211 --> 01:03:36,838 Nigger, call me "Doug." 1392 01:03:36,946 --> 01:03:38,937 I don't like being called "Father." No way. 1393 01:03:39,015 --> 01:03:41,609 Plus, I got a couple issues with a few people out there 1394 01:03:41,684 --> 01:03:43,549 claiming false child support. 1395 01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:45,883 I mean, just 'cause the little nigger got my eyes, 1396 01:03:45,988 --> 01:03:48,855 my nose, my extremely rare AB-negative blood type, 1397 01:03:48,958 --> 01:03:50,755 don't mean I'm the damn daddy. 1398 01:03:51,394 --> 01:03:53,555 Plus, I'm still in training. 1399 01:03:53,663 --> 01:03:55,130 At the seminary? 1400 01:03:55,264 --> 01:03:56,731 No, the penitentiary. 1401 01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:58,357 What? Shit, nigger, 1402 01:03:58,434 --> 01:04:00,129 I've been incarcerated 15 years. 1403 01:04:00,403 --> 01:04:02,667 Oh. But you learn a lot out there reading on the yard. 1404 01:04:02,738 --> 01:04:05,400 You shank a nigger, come in, read the scripture. 1405 01:04:05,508 --> 01:04:07,738 Shank a motherfucker, read the scripture. 1406 01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:09,165 You gonna let a nigger in or what? 1407 01:04:09,212 --> 01:04:10,412 Uh, I'm sorry, Father. Come in. 1408 01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:12,674 Damn. Standing out here, nigger. It's cold as hell. 1409 01:04:15,785 --> 01:04:16,911 Ooh. 1410 01:04:17,820 --> 01:04:20,345 Uh, bro, I'm gonna have to level with you. 1411 01:04:20,423 --> 01:04:22,323 This bitch don't look right. 1412 01:04:22,425 --> 01:04:26,259 I mean, she look all ashy and shit, and just... 1413 01:04:26,362 --> 01:04:28,728 You know, like E.T. with a weave. 1414 01:04:28,831 --> 01:04:30,230 If I was you, I'd just be out. 1415 01:04:30,333 --> 01:04:31,891 Let's just go. Come on. Let's go. 1416 01:04:32,001 --> 01:04:34,333 Uh, I... I can't leave her. That's my girl. 1417 01:04:34,403 --> 01:04:35,870 Are you kidding me? Come on, man. 1418 01:04:35,938 --> 01:04:37,337 There's so much pussy in the world, man. 1419 01:04:37,406 --> 01:04:38,998 You don't have to be with just her. 1420 01:04:39,075 --> 01:04:40,201 Come to the congregation. 1421 01:04:40,276 --> 01:04:42,210 I've got a few in the congregation, 1422 01:04:42,278 --> 01:04:43,870 I'm trying to tell you. Check this out. 1423 01:04:47,650 --> 01:04:48,878 Now, I know she look old. 1424 01:04:48,951 --> 01:04:51,044 I know she... But she a freak, and she got skills. 1425 01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:52,921 Can we go in there and just save her? 1426 01:04:53,022 --> 01:04:55,183 Yo! Yo, dawg, you yelling at me right now? 1427 01:04:55,258 --> 01:04:57,453 I know you just didn't scream on me, dawg. 1428 01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:00,051 I'm here to exorcise your bitch, man. 1429 01:05:00,129 --> 01:05:02,359 So you wanna go in the room. All the way in? 1430 01:05:03,766 --> 01:05:06,030 Look at her hair. Her hair's all crazy. 1431 01:05:07,103 --> 01:05:08,570 You think I'm scared right now, but I'm not. 1432 01:05:08,638 --> 01:05:09,696 I didn't think you was scared. 1433 01:05:09,772 --> 01:05:11,205 No, I'm just a little concerned 1434 01:05:11,274 --> 01:05:13,435 that I don't have the right stuff. 1435 01:05:13,542 --> 01:05:15,271 Do you have, like, a loaded gun? 1436 01:05:15,444 --> 01:05:16,644 I'll shank this bitch for you. 1437 01:05:20,650 --> 01:05:23,585 It's cold as a motherfucker in here, man. Y'all ain't got no heat? 1438 01:05:25,288 --> 01:05:27,722 How you doing, crazy bitch? 1439 01:05:27,790 --> 01:05:28,848 Kisha. 1440 01:05:28,925 --> 01:05:31,655 Kisha, I'm Father Doug. 1441 01:05:32,662 --> 01:05:34,960 I'm here to un-possess you. 1442 01:05:35,331 --> 01:05:37,595 Wait a minute. She's moving. 1443 01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:41,467 This is some crazy-ass shit, man. 1444 01:05:41,971 --> 01:05:43,370 Who are you? 1445 01:05:45,007 --> 01:05:47,237 I wasn't expecting her to talk. 1446 01:05:47,310 --> 01:05:48,675 I'm Father Doug. 1447 01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:50,803 Connect the cut. Connect the cut. 1448 01:05:52,815 --> 01:05:55,283 Connect the cut. Connect the cut. Connect the cut. 1449 01:05:55,518 --> 01:05:58,453 Oh, oh, that's some of that Busta Rhymes shit 1450 01:05:58,587 --> 01:05:59,679 she doin' right there. 1451 01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:01,620 She's on that Bus A Bus. 1452 01:06:01,691 --> 01:06:03,921 It's kinda more like Twista, though. It's real fast. 1453 01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:11,189 Do you know how to connect the cuts? 1454 01:06:18,207 --> 01:06:20,141 Uh, uh, uh. 1455 01:06:20,343 --> 01:06:22,368 Tic-tac-toe in your face! 1456 01:06:22,478 --> 01:06:24,639 Straight X's, straight across, diagonal. 1457 01:06:24,714 --> 01:06:26,682 I almost had your ass the other way. 1458 01:06:26,849 --> 01:06:30,341 Tic-tac-toe on your arm, connect the cuts. 1459 01:06:30,453 --> 01:06:32,294 That's what she was saying, "Connect the cuts." 1460 01:06:32,855 --> 01:06:34,948 I wanna show you something. 1461 01:06:38,461 --> 01:06:42,955 "Suck it." That's gangsta! That's gangsta. 1462 01:06:43,232 --> 01:06:44,529 You wanna see mine? 1463 01:06:44,633 --> 01:06:45,793 It's okay. I'm gonna show you mine. 1464 01:06:45,868 --> 01:06:50,168 Check this out. I did a little something a while back. 1465 01:06:50,306 --> 01:06:53,070 I did that in prison. Yeah, you know, 1466 01:06:53,242 --> 01:06:55,176 it hurt. But, you know, 1467 01:06:55,511 --> 01:06:57,308 you gotta go through it. You gotta earn it. 1468 01:06:57,546 --> 01:06:59,377 Everybody went crazy. They was like, 1469 01:06:59,482 --> 01:07:01,347 "No, you didn't! You so hard, dawg!" 1470 01:07:01,417 --> 01:07:03,317 I had control of that TV for a month. 1471 01:07:04,620 --> 01:07:07,180 Would you like to see my paintings? 1472 01:07:08,357 --> 01:07:09,881 Sure. Of course. 1473 01:07:09,992 --> 01:07:13,428 You know, I consider myself a bit of an art aficionado. 1474 01:07:14,230 --> 01:07:16,630 I think it's going well. It's going good. 1475 01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:20,062 Mm-hmm. 1476 01:07:20,403 --> 01:07:21,563 If, uh... 1477 01:07:22,338 --> 01:07:24,568 Well, you know, if I can be perfectly honest with you, 1478 01:07:24,673 --> 01:07:26,004 it's your technique that's sloppy. 1479 01:07:26,075 --> 01:07:27,372 But that's, you know, 1480 01:07:27,443 --> 01:07:29,809 to be expected from someone that's possessed. 1481 01:07:37,319 --> 01:07:38,547 Hmm? 1482 01:07:45,628 --> 01:07:47,357 Damn, that made my breath stink. 1483 01:07:48,130 --> 01:07:49,654 Man, that breath is kickin'! 1484 01:07:50,599 --> 01:07:52,965 I can only imagine what the kitty smell like. 1485 01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:54,798 Pure evil. 1486 01:07:55,071 --> 01:07:56,470 Goddamn. 1487 01:08:01,410 --> 01:08:03,935 I'm Dan "the Man" Kearney and today on Ghost Guys 1488 01:08:04,013 --> 01:08:06,072 we're investigating paranormal activity 1489 01:08:06,148 --> 01:08:08,548 at the Johnson residence in suburban Los Angeles. 1490 01:08:08,617 --> 01:08:10,380 This is going be very unsettling. 1491 01:08:10,453 --> 01:08:12,478 Not like those other fake ghost hunter shows. 1492 01:08:12,555 --> 01:08:13,681 This stuff is real. 1493 01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:17,351 And I don't mean like, "I saw my dead nana" scary, 1494 01:08:17,426 --> 01:08:21,055 but scary like, "I left a bag of meth in the glove box 1495 01:08:21,130 --> 01:08:22,570 and I'm getting pulled up by the cops 1496 01:08:22,598 --> 01:08:24,498 and I got a hot pipe under the seat." 1497 01:08:24,567 --> 01:08:26,728 That kind of scary. Let's go inside. 1498 01:08:27,136 --> 01:08:30,196 All right, on behalf of Ghost Guys, 1499 01:08:30,272 --> 01:08:33,400 the greatest ghost-hunter show on the Internet or cable access, 1500 01:08:33,476 --> 01:08:35,774 I'd like to thank you for having us. You've made a good choice. 1501 01:08:35,845 --> 01:08:37,506 You're welcome. Thank you very much for coming. 1502 01:08:37,580 --> 01:08:39,220 Malcolm, Malcolm, I'm not sure about this. 1503 01:08:39,248 --> 01:08:43,150 I mean, this guy, sure. But Sling Blade there, don't trust him. 1504 01:08:43,252 --> 01:08:45,015 You said you needed ghost hunters right? 1505 01:08:45,087 --> 01:08:47,248 I also said I needed a psychic. 1506 01:08:49,758 --> 01:08:50,918 Chip, hey, what's up? 1507 01:08:50,993 --> 01:08:52,594 What's going on? What are you doing here? 1508 01:08:52,595 --> 01:08:54,392 I'm a psychic, I sensed you needed my help. 1509 01:08:54,463 --> 01:08:55,452 I do. 1510 01:08:55,531 --> 01:08:56,555 There's a new person. 1511 01:08:56,632 --> 01:08:58,793 Yeah, that's Bob. Come on, let's go. 1512 01:08:59,568 --> 01:09:02,503 Hey, there's something different about you. Something new. 1513 01:09:02,571 --> 01:09:05,267 I can't quite put my finger in you. On you. On it. 1514 01:09:05,341 --> 01:09:06,330 Haircut. 1515 01:09:06,408 --> 01:09:07,466 Someone's got a secret. 1516 01:09:07,576 --> 01:09:08,907 No, I don't. Come on. 1517 01:09:08,978 --> 01:09:10,240 Hey, guys. 1518 01:09:10,446 --> 01:09:14,280 Gentlemen, what we have here is a crazy bitch. 1519 01:09:14,583 --> 01:09:16,380 Now, I would leave her possessed ass 1520 01:09:16,452 --> 01:09:18,386 in the alley downtown if it was me, 1521 01:09:18,454 --> 01:09:21,617 but apparently, Malcolm's got a thing for the freak. 1522 01:09:21,724 --> 01:09:22,713 Holy shit. 1523 01:09:22,791 --> 01:09:25,351 So, what you're saying is, there's an actual demon here in the house? 1524 01:09:25,427 --> 01:09:27,327 It's in the bitch. 1525 01:09:28,230 --> 01:09:30,721 I'm sorry, "ho." No disrespect. 1526 01:09:30,799 --> 01:09:33,097 - "Bitch" is fine. - "Bitch" is fine. 1527 01:09:33,235 --> 01:09:35,260 All right, this is what I'm getting. 1528 01:09:35,471 --> 01:09:40,773 The entity does not want to leave this house, 1529 01:09:41,644 --> 01:09:42,736 okay? 1530 01:09:43,712 --> 01:09:46,875 It's struggling to stay inside. 1531 01:09:47,049 --> 01:09:48,983 And Malcolm, I need to know. 1532 01:09:49,151 --> 01:09:52,609 How far are you gonna go to get this demon out? 1533 01:09:52,922 --> 01:09:54,787 I'll do anything. 1534 01:09:56,225 --> 01:09:57,214 Anything? 1535 01:09:58,326 --> 01:10:00,261 I don't see how this is gonna help anything. 1536 01:10:00,429 --> 01:10:02,260 This just got weird. 1537 01:10:02,431 --> 01:10:04,365 What is this supposed to do? 1538 01:10:06,202 --> 01:10:10,400 Um... Nothing. I was just trying to see how far you would go. 1539 01:10:11,540 --> 01:10:12,529 What did I tell you? 1540 01:10:12,608 --> 01:10:13,632 I think she looks fine. 1541 01:10:13,709 --> 01:10:14,903 Clearly does not look fine. 1542 01:10:14,977 --> 01:10:16,968 She looks fucked up. I'm gonna need my Bible. 1543 01:10:17,079 --> 01:10:18,103 You're gonna bless her? 1544 01:10:18,180 --> 01:10:21,172 Well, yeah, I blessed this joint. Mm-hmm. 1545 01:10:21,283 --> 01:10:23,574 Right out of the First Chronicles. 1546 01:10:23,953 --> 01:10:28,049 I haven't done many exorcisms, but I don't think that's appropriate. 1547 01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:32,456 I get it, I get it. I can fix that, though, right now. 1548 01:10:32,528 --> 01:10:33,722 I got a little something. 1549 01:10:33,796 --> 01:10:35,161 What's going on? 1550 01:10:35,297 --> 01:10:38,232 That's a demon party. Yeah, look out. 1551 01:10:42,004 --> 01:10:43,596 What is this, 1985? 1552 01:10:43,672 --> 01:10:44,900 Is there just one demon? 1553 01:10:44,974 --> 01:10:47,033 'Cause I feel like we could exorcise any demons in the area. 1554 01:10:47,109 --> 01:10:49,168 What? I'll take on a whole team of demons. 1555 01:10:49,245 --> 01:10:50,576 What we should do is get all the demons in one room 1556 01:10:50,646 --> 01:10:51,670 and get rid of them all at once. 1557 01:10:51,747 --> 01:10:53,214 Do a collective demon-gathering. 1558 01:10:53,649 --> 01:10:54,741 We just walk up to people's doors, 1559 01:10:54,817 --> 01:10:55,875 "How you doing? How you doing?" 1560 01:10:55,985 --> 01:10:57,077 "Can we talk to you about the Lord today?" 1561 01:10:57,152 --> 01:10:58,881 "We heard y'all got demons up in there. What's up?" 1562 01:10:58,954 --> 01:11:00,114 Can I get in the bed with your girl? 1563 01:11:00,189 --> 01:11:03,056 I used to braid hair. I could actually braid her hair right now. 1564 01:11:03,225 --> 01:11:05,386 I'll be hitting her with some Allen Iversons and stuff. 1565 01:11:05,527 --> 01:11:08,155 I'll give her some Sprewells. I'll take it back. 1566 01:11:08,564 --> 01:11:11,032 Let's do a little exorcism. 1567 01:11:11,233 --> 01:11:13,531 All right, "Blessed is he 1568 01:11:13,702 --> 01:11:17,365 who, in the name of charity and goodwill, 1569 01:11:18,674 --> 01:11:22,110 shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness." 1570 01:11:22,311 --> 01:11:26,111 "For he is truly his brother's keeper 1571 01:11:26,282 --> 01:11:29,115 and the finder of lost children." 1572 01:11:29,418 --> 01:11:32,910 "And you will know my name is the Lord 1573 01:11:33,088 --> 01:11:36,319 when I lay my vengeance upon you!" 1574 01:11:36,592 --> 01:11:39,789 Did you just quote Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction? 1575 01:11:42,831 --> 01:11:47,325 You got that. You got me on that. You got me on that one! 1576 01:11:47,503 --> 01:11:48,834 I love Sam Jackson, dawg. 1577 01:11:49,004 --> 01:11:50,665 The Jheri curl will be dripping and everything. 1578 01:11:50,773 --> 01:11:52,297 Plus, on the plane movie. 1579 01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:54,409 When he was on the plane and he killed the snakes. 1580 01:11:54,510 --> 01:11:55,977 That's my favorite movie. 1581 01:11:56,045 --> 01:11:57,876 "Enough is enough!" 1582 01:11:58,047 --> 01:12:01,141 "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes 1583 01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:02,875 on this motherfucking plane!" 1584 01:12:02,985 --> 01:12:04,953 Hey, all right! That's what I'm talking about. 1585 01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:06,451 Guys! All right, all right! 1586 01:12:06,522 --> 01:12:09,082 Exorcism. That's what we're here for, right? 1587 01:12:09,725 --> 01:12:12,990 Yes, go back to the thing that got us here in the first place. 1588 01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:14,720 Where we met. 1589 01:12:15,863 --> 01:12:16,922 My man! 1590 01:12:17,099 --> 01:12:21,593 By the powers vested to me, 1591 01:12:21,770 --> 01:12:24,705 that somebody gave me while I was locked up, 1592 01:12:24,873 --> 01:12:28,673 from the correctional institution in Lompoc, that's up north... 1593 01:12:28,844 --> 01:12:33,144 I want the demon that's in you to come out and holler at a brother. 1594 01:12:33,315 --> 01:12:35,510 Demon, come up out of Kisha, demon. 1595 01:12:35,951 --> 01:12:37,509 Come out! Just come out! 1596 01:12:37,686 --> 01:12:38,675 Come up out of Kisha! 1597 01:12:38,754 --> 01:12:39,812 Come up out of there, demon. 1598 01:12:39,888 --> 01:12:42,448 Come out! Come out! 1599 01:12:42,524 --> 01:12:43,513 Come out! 1600 01:12:43,892 --> 01:12:44,881 Come out! 1601 01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:47,895 Hey! I'm not the one with the demon, she is. 1602 01:12:48,997 --> 01:12:50,697 We all have demons, Malcolm. 1603 01:12:51,834 --> 01:12:53,802 I know what you did last summer. 1604 01:12:53,969 --> 01:12:55,061 You better not do this. 1605 01:12:57,373 --> 01:12:58,465 Let her go, she's fat. 1606 01:13:00,342 --> 01:13:02,503 Kisha! Kisha! 1607 01:13:03,312 --> 01:13:05,280 Kisha! Oh, my God. 1608 01:13:09,284 --> 01:13:10,546 Kisha? 1609 01:13:12,521 --> 01:13:13,886 Kisha? 1610 01:13:16,658 --> 01:13:18,319 Oh, hey, buddy, you made it. 1611 01:13:18,494 --> 01:13:22,362 Grab a finger sandwich, they're delish! 1612 01:13:22,531 --> 01:13:24,021 About time you came up in here. 1613 01:13:24,199 --> 01:13:26,633 'Cause there ain't no party like a mandingo party. 1614 01:13:26,802 --> 01:13:29,362 'Cause a mandingo party don't stop. 1615 01:13:29,538 --> 01:13:31,836 Drink up, sweetheart. You need some water? 1616 01:13:31,907 --> 01:13:32,931 - Mmm. - You're next, Malcolm. 1617 01:13:33,008 --> 01:13:34,441 Where are you going? Hey, don't let her down. 1618 01:13:34,510 --> 01:13:35,499 It's her birthday. 1619 01:13:35,611 --> 01:13:36,600 Oh, God. 1620 01:13:36,678 --> 01:13:38,145 Hey, did you find Kisha? 1621 01:13:38,313 --> 01:13:39,507 Uh, no, she's not in there. 1622 01:13:39,581 --> 01:13:40,570 You sure? What's going on in there? 1623 01:13:40,649 --> 01:13:41,638 Uh, nothing at all. 1624 01:13:41,717 --> 01:13:42,877 - Is that a mandingo party? - No. 1625 01:13:42,951 --> 01:13:45,010 Man, I wanna get my Kunta Kinte on. 1626 01:13:46,588 --> 01:13:47,816 Kisha? 1627 01:13:49,691 --> 01:13:50,919 Kisha? 1628 01:13:53,729 --> 01:13:54,718 Oh, shit! 1629 01:13:54,797 --> 01:13:55,821 Baby? 1630 01:13:57,232 --> 01:13:59,325 Oh, my God! What did you do? 1631 01:13:59,401 --> 01:14:00,959 Shit, I did you a favor. 1632 01:14:02,337 --> 01:14:04,669 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Rosa! 1633 01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:06,899 I just wanted my last check, Malcolm. 1634 01:14:07,075 --> 01:14:08,906 Oh, my God, you shot my housekeeper. 1635 01:14:08,977 --> 01:14:10,444 You mean, your ex-housekeeper. 1636 01:14:10,512 --> 01:14:12,912 Look, man, the bitch can't be jumping out on me like that. 1637 01:14:12,981 --> 01:14:14,846 You ain't gonna tell nobody, right? I got warrants. 1638 01:14:14,917 --> 01:14:16,282 Hurry, she's in here. 1639 01:14:16,351 --> 01:14:17,909 Come on, guys. 1640 01:14:18,086 --> 01:14:19,246 Kisha! 1641 01:14:19,321 --> 01:14:21,289 - We got her cornered. - Baby. 1642 01:14:21,423 --> 01:14:23,084 Father, do something. Oh, my God! 1643 01:14:25,828 --> 01:14:27,557 Man, that demon is a freak. 1644 01:14:27,729 --> 01:14:29,720 Yeah, the crazy ones always got the best pussy. 1645 01:14:29,832 --> 01:14:32,130 The moon landing was fake. 1646 01:14:32,201 --> 01:14:33,225 What? 1647 01:14:33,435 --> 01:14:35,869 Biggie and Tupac 1648 01:14:36,038 --> 01:14:37,835 are alive. 1649 01:14:38,407 --> 01:14:41,467 Paul Ryan will be the next president. 1650 01:14:42,110 --> 01:14:43,407 The demon lies. 1651 01:14:43,579 --> 01:14:44,807 Well, except for the thing about Tupac. 1652 01:14:44,913 --> 01:14:46,141 He is alive. He's got a new album coming out. 1653 01:14:46,248 --> 01:14:47,579 What the fuck is going on here? 1654 01:14:47,649 --> 01:14:49,640 There's an exorcism happening, people! 1655 01:14:52,554 --> 01:14:54,313 The power of Christ compels you. 1656 01:14:54,690 --> 01:14:56,715 The power of Christ compels you. 1657 01:14:56,892 --> 01:14:58,154 What is that, holy water? 1658 01:14:58,260 --> 01:15:01,923 No, it's a new cologne from Khloe and Lamar. It's unisex. 1659 01:15:02,197 --> 01:15:03,724 I can smell Lamar. 1660 01:15:03,899 --> 01:15:04,832 Get her! 1661 01:15:06,735 --> 01:15:08,430 Baby! 1662 01:15:09,838 --> 01:15:12,102 Oh! She knows some of that Spider-Man shit! 1663 01:15:14,610 --> 01:15:15,804 Oh, my God! 1664 01:15:15,944 --> 01:15:17,172 It's got me! 1665 01:15:17,346 --> 01:15:19,211 - Chip! - I'm afraid of the dark. 1666 01:15:19,381 --> 01:15:21,042 Why do have your hand on my balls? 1667 01:15:21,216 --> 01:15:23,446 I'm protecting them from spirits. 1668 01:15:23,619 --> 01:15:24,847 Get off of me! 1669 01:15:25,020 --> 01:15:26,419 There she is! 1670 01:15:26,822 --> 01:15:27,782 She's going to the basement. 1671 01:15:27,856 --> 01:15:31,553 Bobby? Oh, my God! Bobby, my brother's gone! 1672 01:15:31,693 --> 01:15:32,921 Oh, my God! Let's go! 1673 01:15:33,061 --> 01:15:34,358 - Bobby? - Bobby? 1674 01:15:34,429 --> 01:15:35,453 Bobby? 1675 01:15:35,531 --> 01:15:37,396 This is dark. DOUG: I don't wanna go down here. 1676 01:15:37,499 --> 01:15:40,297 Kisha! Look at all these weird markings. 1677 01:15:40,402 --> 01:15:42,029 Kisha was here. She has a sign. 1678 01:15:42,271 --> 01:15:43,761 Bobby! 1679 01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:47,505 Oh, my God! She got Bobby! 1680 01:15:48,844 --> 01:15:50,869 Actually, that's just Bobby taking a pee. 1681 01:15:51,046 --> 01:15:52,411 What? 1682 01:15:53,048 --> 01:15:54,572 Oh, come on, that's gross. 1683 01:15:54,750 --> 01:15:56,081 - Kisha! - Kisha. 1684 01:15:56,251 --> 01:15:57,946 Kisha. Show yourself. 1685 01:15:58,186 --> 01:16:00,416 Baby? Come on, you gotta stay close. 1686 01:16:00,589 --> 01:16:03,217 What is this, a Shake Weight and a Thighmaster? 1687 01:16:03,392 --> 01:16:04,416 Nice. 1688 01:16:04,493 --> 01:16:05,755 Back the train up. You got a Flowbee? 1689 01:16:05,928 --> 01:16:07,968 Hey, it all looks good at 2:00 in the morning, okay? 1690 01:16:08,063 --> 01:16:10,088 Hey, look, Malcolm, one's white and one's black. 1691 01:16:10,265 --> 01:16:11,596 - Guess which one you are. - Black one. 1692 01:16:11,767 --> 01:16:14,861 What the hell? Can we just go find my girl, please? 1693 01:16:14,937 --> 01:16:15,926 Thank you. 1694 01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:19,006 - Kisha! - Bobby! 1695 01:16:19,174 --> 01:16:21,165 - Would you shut the fuck up? - What are you doing? 1696 01:16:21,343 --> 01:16:22,901 Come on. 1697 01:16:23,946 --> 01:16:25,743 Go, go, go. 1698 01:16:28,383 --> 01:16:29,611 What was that? 1699 01:16:31,620 --> 01:16:33,087 Christ, that bitch is scary. 1700 01:16:33,555 --> 01:16:34,817 I dropped the camera! 1701 01:16:35,791 --> 01:16:37,224 Fellas? 1702 01:16:40,062 --> 01:16:41,256 Kisha. 1703 01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:55,041 Malcolm? Malcolm? 1704 01:16:56,712 --> 01:17:01,081 It's me, Chip the Psychic. Malcolm? 1705 01:17:03,719 --> 01:17:05,209 It's me, Chip. 1706 01:17:05,420 --> 01:17:06,478 Yoo-hoo. 1707 01:17:09,124 --> 01:17:12,423 Okay, I found the camera. What are you guys doing? 1708 01:17:12,527 --> 01:17:13,619 This shit is real, son. 1709 01:17:13,695 --> 01:17:14,753 Yeah. 1710 01:17:14,896 --> 01:17:16,591 Chip, why are you naked? 1711 01:17:16,765 --> 01:17:18,289 - What the hell? - Hey! 1712 01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:20,435 It got really hot in here. 1713 01:17:20,602 --> 01:17:22,866 Oh, no. Where's Bobby? 1714 01:17:25,073 --> 01:17:26,301 Found my Walkman. 1715 01:17:27,509 --> 01:17:30,603 Kisha? Baby, are you okay? 1716 01:17:30,746 --> 01:17:32,077 Leave her alone. Don't touch her. 1717 01:17:32,147 --> 01:17:33,375 Why? 1718 01:17:33,482 --> 01:17:35,006 'Cause she's like that witch in Left 4 Dead 1719 01:17:35,083 --> 01:17:36,603 sitting in the corner crying like that. 1720 01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:38,313 You touch her, she gonna attack your ass. 1721 01:17:38,387 --> 01:17:39,979 I can't just leave her, man. 1722 01:17:40,088 --> 01:17:43,455 Kisha? Baby? It'll be okay, all right? 1723 01:17:47,562 --> 01:17:49,087 Get off my man, bitch! 1724 01:17:51,433 --> 01:17:53,993 You wanna fight? Take that, demon! 1725 01:17:54,836 --> 01:17:56,167 Elbow smash! 1726 01:17:56,405 --> 01:17:57,429 Ooh! 1727 01:17:57,973 --> 01:17:59,463 - Harder! - Beast! 1728 01:18:00,909 --> 01:18:02,069 Take that, demon! 1729 01:18:02,377 --> 01:18:03,935 Fucking bitch, take that. 1730 01:18:05,480 --> 01:18:06,601 That demon can take a punch. 1731 01:18:06,615 --> 01:18:07,639 That's enough. 1732 01:18:08,417 --> 01:18:09,884 - Baby? - Malcolm. 1733 01:18:10,052 --> 01:18:12,111 I think she's okay. Maybe not! 1734 01:18:14,623 --> 01:18:15,988 I won't tell on you, you don't tell on me. 1735 01:18:16,158 --> 01:18:17,147 Understand me? 1736 01:18:17,225 --> 01:18:18,317 You weren't here, I wasn't here. 1737 01:18:18,427 --> 01:18:19,587 I'll take the blame. I'll take the blame. 1738 01:18:19,661 --> 01:18:21,720 Okay, good. Hey! 1739 01:18:21,797 --> 01:18:23,230 Man, put some clothes on! 1740 01:18:35,610 --> 01:18:36,975 - Hey. - Hey. 1741 01:18:37,145 --> 01:18:39,613 You know what? This Angry Birds is kind of fun. 1742 01:18:39,781 --> 01:18:41,408 - I told you. - I like it. 1743 01:18:41,583 --> 01:18:43,210 Look at you looking all pretty. 1744 01:18:43,385 --> 01:18:46,786 Oh, this? It's just a little something I put on for my man. 1745 01:18:46,955 --> 01:18:48,286 Oh, lucky him. 1746 01:18:48,490 --> 01:18:49,923 Oh. Ow... 1747 01:18:49,991 --> 01:18:51,458 - Malcolm. - What? What? What? 1748 01:18:51,626 --> 01:18:53,253 My ribs are still a little sore. 1749 01:18:53,428 --> 01:18:56,295 I'm sorry. We did beat the hell out of you, girl. 1750 01:18:56,465 --> 01:18:58,465 We was just trying to get the demon out. I'm sorry. 1751 01:18:58,500 --> 01:19:02,061 No, I'm sorry for bringing that thing into your house. 1752 01:19:02,237 --> 01:19:03,898 Our house. 1753 01:19:04,506 --> 01:19:05,598 Mmm! 1754 01:19:07,509 --> 01:19:10,808 - Malcolm? Is the camera on? - Mm-hmm? 1755 01:19:14,416 --> 01:19:15,610 Fine. 1756 01:19:16,151 --> 01:19:17,243 Good. 1757 01:19:19,654 --> 01:19:20,985 Come here. 1758 01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:25,516 Take like that, take it like that. 1759 01:19:25,694 --> 01:19:27,457 Oh, my God, I hit the bottom. 1760 01:19:27,629 --> 01:19:30,189 Oh, yeah, take that. Who's your dirty daddy? 1761 01:19:35,303 --> 01:19:36,827 Oh, God. 1762 01:19:37,005 --> 01:19:39,269 I got a cramp. Don't touch it. 1763 01:20:25,554 --> 01:20:28,455 Malcolm! 1764 01:20:28,623 --> 01:20:31,251 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming. 1765 01:20:31,426 --> 01:20:32,586 Shit. 1766 01:20:37,032 --> 01:20:39,262 Malcolm! 1767 01:20:39,434 --> 01:20:42,198 I heard you the first time. Damn. 1768 01:21:16,938 --> 01:21:18,428 She's gone. 1769 01:21:22,043 --> 01:21:24,637 Yeah, baby, I lived! I lived. 1770 01:21:24,813 --> 01:21:26,940 In your face. In your face! 1771 01:21:27,115 --> 01:21:28,810 You thought you'd move into my house and kill me? 1772 01:21:28,984 --> 01:21:30,178 What? 1773 01:21:32,988 --> 01:21:34,717 She's right behind me, isn't she? 1774 01:23:21,730 --> 01:23:22,856 Oh, yeah. 1775 01:23:23,031 --> 01:23:25,761 We gonna need a wide angle for some of these aerial tricks. 1776 01:23:25,934 --> 01:23:28,198 All right, I call this one "The Superman." 1777 01:23:29,571 --> 01:23:33,007 Pile driver! Take that. Take that. 1778 01:23:33,308 --> 01:23:34,570 Oh! Oh! 1779 01:23:36,978 --> 01:23:39,071 Can I get you something to drink, Father? 1780 01:23:39,681 --> 01:23:41,581 Yeah, Hennessy, straight. 1781 01:23:41,750 --> 01:23:43,650 Oh, you got Hpnotiq? I like to mix them. 1782 01:23:44,252 --> 01:23:46,117 Uh, I was talking about water. 1783 01:23:46,354 --> 01:23:49,551 Water? I don't drink that bullshit. What the fuck? 1784 01:23:49,724 --> 01:23:51,658 Yeah, my show is gonna be huge. 1785 01:23:51,993 --> 01:23:54,860 I'm gonna get my house back. I'm gonna get a girlfriend. 1786 01:23:55,030 --> 01:23:56,327 I'm gonna be successful. 1787 01:23:56,398 --> 01:24:00,562 Did you just hope and dream out loud? 1788 01:24:02,037 --> 01:24:04,528 All hopes and dreams are out loud. That's the camera show. 1789 01:24:05,140 --> 01:24:07,836 Oh, this is called "68," and I owe you one. 1790 01:24:08,043 --> 01:24:11,240 You're crazy, girl. Yeah, I'll fart in your face. 1791 01:24:12,413 --> 01:24:15,107 Take that. Now we gonna make some love. 1792 01:24:15,283 --> 01:24:16,580 But I ain't gonna kiss you on your mouth 1793 01:24:16,651 --> 01:24:18,312 'cause I just farted in your face. 1794 01:24:18,420 --> 01:24:21,685 Here's the thing. A lot of people think penises are scary. 1795 01:24:21,823 --> 01:24:25,122 They're not, unless it has a gun. Then that's horrifying. 1796 01:24:25,293 --> 01:24:28,285 90% of penises don't carry a gun. 1797 01:24:28,463 --> 01:24:30,454 Oh, my God. What? 1798 01:24:30,532 --> 01:24:31,521 That's a fact. 1799 01:24:31,800 --> 01:24:33,665 But I'm gonna tell you this, don't ever, 1800 01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:35,532 ever let a man put his hands on you. 1801 01:24:35,703 --> 01:24:37,933 Unless he paying the bills. Aah! 1802 01:24:38,006 --> 01:24:39,837 Domestic violence is amazing. 1803 01:24:42,777 --> 01:24:45,007 Gonna burn me. 1804 01:24:49,317 --> 01:24:52,718 I'm sorry. Shh. Shh. Take it. 1805 01:24:53,288 --> 01:24:54,550 Ooh. 1806 01:24:55,857 --> 01:24:57,119 Ooh! 1807 01:24:57,192 --> 01:25:00,787 This is one bad picture right here, nigger. 1808 01:25:00,862 --> 01:25:04,229 This a fine motherfucker right here, boy. This is dope. 1809 01:25:04,299 --> 01:25:05,539 You know what I'd do with this? 1810 01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:07,431 Do you know what I'd do with this? 1811 01:25:07,502 --> 01:25:10,471 All this area, all this carpet, this ottoman, 1812 01:25:10,572 --> 01:25:11,664 I'd be all over it. 1813 01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:13,205 What are these? 1814 01:25:13,441 --> 01:25:15,170 Those are my boxers. 1815 01:25:15,343 --> 01:25:16,742 Fascinating. 1816 01:25:17,811 --> 01:25:18,740 Oh, yes. 1817 01:25:19,013 --> 01:25:21,709 His methods are so unorthodox. 1818 01:25:21,883 --> 01:25:23,851 That's my girlfriend. 1819 01:25:24,052 --> 01:25:25,781 - Ah... - Kisha. 1820 01:25:25,887 --> 01:25:28,720 That's a crazy bitch name all day. You can google it. 1821 01:25:28,823 --> 01:25:32,987 Top five crazy bitch names. Kisha, Alisha, Djuana. 1822 01:25:33,161 --> 01:25:36,130 You say that out loud, and you're already scared, right? 1823 01:25:36,264 --> 01:25:37,663 Are you done? 1824 01:25:37,799 --> 01:25:39,562 Let's go. Let's go save the bitch. 129490