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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:09,883 Hey, Eddie. Aah! 2 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,388 - What are you doing here? - Watching you sleep. 3 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,349 Why? 4 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,560 It makes me feel, um, peaceful. 5 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,395 Ha, ha. Ahem. Please. 6 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:23,522 I can't sleep now! 7 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:24,898 Oh, you want me to sing? 8 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,526 No. Look. 9 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:31,030 That's it. I want you out of the apartment now! 10 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,282 Oh, what are you talking about? 11 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,825 Hannibal Lecter? 12 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,619 Better roommate than you. 13 00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:38,829 No. 14 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:42,875 I don't think you're being fair! One night you see me, you get scared. 15 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:46,003 What about the other nights when you don't see me, huh? 16 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,964 Last night you went and got some water... 17 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,634 ...and I was nice enough to hide behind the door. What that about, huh? 18 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,179 - I didn't realize that. - Ah. 19 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,473 Get out now! 20 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,225 Okay. You really want me out? 21 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,477 Yes, please. 22 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:04,313 Then I want to hear you say you want me out. 23 00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:05,773 I want you out. 24 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,649 I want to hear it from your lips. 25 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,569 Where'd you hear it before? 26 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,822 Oh, right, all right. You know what? Consider me gone. 27 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,326 I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow. 28 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,871 Thank you. I heard that. 29 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,466 - Thanks. - Hey. 30 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,717 - Hey. - Hey. 31 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,427 Well, look at you! 32 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,471 Finally got that time machine working, huh? 33 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,099 You like it? 34 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,977 This guy was selling them on 8th Avenue and I thought: 35 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:28,105 - "You know what I don't have?" - A mirror? 36 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:32,025 Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty. 37 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,947 Wow! For a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in a good mood. 38 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:40,284 I'll be all right. I'm not starting from square one. 39 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,954 I was Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of our Lives. 40 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,957 Huh? That's got to have some kind of cachet. 41 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,169 Cachet? Jaunty? 42 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,255 Chandler gave me word-of-the-day toilet paper. 43 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,675 I'm gonna get some coffee. 44 00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,052 - Hey. Hey. 45 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,680 Oh! So? Did you read the book? 46 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,099 Oh, my God. It was incredible! 47 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,809 Didn't it, like, totally speak to you? 48 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,020 - Whoa, whoa, what book is this? - Oh. 49 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,899 Uh! You have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Wind Keeper. 50 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,985 Ooh. It's about how women need to become more empowered. 51 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,654 And, oh! But there's wind. 52 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,075 And the wind can make us goddesses. 53 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:25,120 Do you know who takes our wind? Men. They just take it. 54 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,583 Men just take our wind? 55 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:33,754 Uh-huh. All the time. Because they are the lightning-bearers. 56 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,757 - Wow. Yeah. 57 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,718 That sounds kind of cool. It's like The Hobbit. 58 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:42,095 It is nothing like The Hobbit. 59 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,974 It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had. 60 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,476 Except for Richard. 61 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,645 Oh, yes. No. Richard would never steal your wind. 62 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,230 - No. No. 63 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,815 - Because he's yummy. - Yes. 64 00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,150 But all the other ones. 65 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,195 Oh, and the part about how they're always drinking... 66 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,280 ...from our pool of inner power. 67 00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,741 But God forbid we should take a sip. 68 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,117 Anybody want a cruller? 69 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:07,704 This is a typical lightning-bearer thing. 70 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,539 Right there. It's like, um... 71 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:13,418 ..."Hello. Who wants one of my phallic-shaped man-cakes?" 72 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:24,096 Don't worry about it, already! Things happen. 73 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:29,309 So you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything? 74 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,728 Joey, look at me. 75 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,730 Look at me! 76 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,901 Do I have lipstick on my teeth? 77 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:41,989 No. 78 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,448 Uh, can we get back to me? 79 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:47,744 Look, honey. People get fired left and right in this business. 80 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,914 I already got you an audition for Another World. 81 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,499 All right! 82 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,252 "Cab Driver Number 2"? 83 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,129 You're welcome. 84 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,300 But... But I was Dr. Drake Ramoray! 85 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:05,012 How can I go from being a neurosurgeon to driving a cab? 86 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,682 Things change. Roll with them. 87 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,184 But this is a two-line part! 88 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,562 It's like taking a step backwards. 89 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,647 I'm not gonna do this. 90 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,483 Joey. 91 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,653 I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minza... 92 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,197 ...and his pyramid of dogs. 93 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,869 Take any job you can get, and don't make on the floor. 94 00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:32,414 I'm sorry. 95 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,082 I'll see you. 96 00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,878 Uh, God! 97 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,464 Oh, God! I mean, it's just so... 98 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,923 Isn't it? 99 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,218 Uh. This is like reading about my own life! 100 00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:49,264 This book could have been called Be Your Own Wind Keeper, Rachel! 101 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,142 It wouldn't have sold a million copies... 102 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,519 ...but it would've made a nice gift for you. 103 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,938 - Hey, you guys. - Hey. 104 00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,149 Uh, sweetie, we've gotta go. 105 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,400 No! 106 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:03,737 No? Heh. 107 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:08,784 No! Why do we always have to do everything according to your timetable? 108 00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:12,245 Actually, it's the movie theater that has the timetable. 109 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,915 It's so you don't miss the beginning. 110 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:21,380 This isn't about the movie theater. This is about you stealing my wind. 111 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,008 You go, girl! 112 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,138 I can't pull that off, can I? 113 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,935 Excuse me, your wind? 114 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,603 Yes, my wind. 115 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,648 How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow? 116 00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,907 You know I don't... 117 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,703 ...have a problem with that. 118 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,213 Okay. 119 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:08,427 I just really need to be with myself right now. 120 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:10,595 I'm sorry. 121 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,140 Mm, mm, mm. - Uh, you're right. 122 00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:14,683 I don't have to apologize. 123 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,185 Sorry. Damn it! 124 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,485 - What is it? - I don't know. 125 00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,530 It's got all this stuff about wind and trees... 126 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,282 ...and some sacred pool. 127 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,743 I don't really get it. But she's pretty upset about it. 128 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,746 This is why I don't date women who read. 129 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,541 Uh-oh. 130 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,042 What? What's that? 131 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,378 It's my VISA bill. 132 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,881 Envelope one of two. 133 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,760 - That can't be good. - Open it, open it. 134 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,016 - Oh, my God! - Whoa! 135 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,268 Look at this! How did I spend so much money? 136 00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:02,606 Uh, that's just the minimum amount. That's your total. 137 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,608 Aah! 138 00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:09,196 Whoa, whoa. Thirty-five hundred dollars at "Porcelain Safari"? 139 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,780 My animals. 140 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:15,160 The guy said they suited me. He spoke with an accent. I was confused. 141 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,828 Oh. 142 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,663 I don't know what to do! 143 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,833 You can start by driving a cab on Another World. 144 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:23,793 - What? - That audition? 145 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,754 That's a two-line part! 146 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:30,091 Joey, you owe $1100 at "I Love Lucite. " 147 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,636 - So what? - So suck it up, man. 148 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,387 It's a job. It's money. 149 00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:38,433 I don't need you getting judgmental and condescending and pedantic. 150 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:42,020 - Toilet paper? - Yeah. 151 00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:46,900 I'm not being any of those things. I'm being realistic. 152 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,986 - You're supposed to be my friend! - I am your friend. 153 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,239 Then tell me things like, "You'll be fine. " 154 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:55,659 And "Something big's gonna come along. I know it!" 155 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,160 But I don't know it. 156 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,872 What I do know is you owe $2300 at "Isn't It Chromantic?" 157 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,292 I'm aware of what I owe. 158 00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:08,296 Then get some sense. It took you 10 years to get that job. 159 00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:11,341 - How long till you get another? - I don't want to hear this! 160 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:12,592 I'm just saying... 161 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,928 Well, don't "just say"! 162 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,848 Oh. Maybe I should just go. 163 00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:21,685 Okay. 164 00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,395 I'll see you later. 165 00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,314 Just think about it. 166 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,400 I don't need to think about it! 167 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,860 I was Dr. Drake Ramoray! 168 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,904 That was huge! 169 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,615 Big things are gonna happen! You'll see! 170 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:36,908 Ross! 171 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:38,952 You still there? 172 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,465 - Hey, pal. - Oh, God! 173 00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:55,844 What are you still doing here? 174 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,972 Uh, just some basic dehydrating of fruits and vegetables. 175 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,683 Man alive, this thing's fantastic! 176 00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,769 Aren't you forgetting anything? 177 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,105 Oh, yeah. I got us a new goldfish. 178 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,232 He's feistier than the last one. 179 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,527 Maybe because the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. 180 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:17,741 Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing now? 181 00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:20,410 Not unless it's got something to do with dehydrating. 182 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,412 Because right now, I'm a dehydrating maniac! 183 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,876 I thought we had a deal. 184 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,711 - I thought by the time I got... - Uh, uh. 185 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,004 You know what that is? 186 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,922 Your last roommate's kidney? 187 00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,676 That's a tomato. Ha, ha. 188 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,762 This one definitely goes in the display. 189 00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,100 It's in the display. 190 00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,775 Hey, Gunther. Let me get a, uh, lemonade to go. 191 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,360 Lemonade? 192 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,070 You okay, man? 193 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,572 Ahh, it's career stuff. 194 00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,492 They killed off my character on the show. 195 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,411 Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it? 196 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,538 I fell down an elevator shaft. 197 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,874 Oh. That sucks. 198 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,751 I was buried in an avalanche. 199 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:12,379 What? 200 00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:15,131 I used to be Brice on All My Children. 201 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,738 Why must everybody watch me sleep? 202 00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,616 There'll be no more watching me sleep! No more... 203 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,867 ...watching! - I... 204 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,369 Neh. 205 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:52,711 I got some great stuff to dehydrate. Grapes, apricots. 206 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,423 I thought it'd be cool to see what happens with these water balloons. 207 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,676 Get out. Get out, get out, get out! 208 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,929 - What? - You! Move out! 209 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:07,267 Take your fruit! Your stupid small fruit and get out! 210 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,436 You want me to move out? Uh... 211 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,150 Uh-huh. 212 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:17,694 Heh. I, uh... 213 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:22,198 Ooh! Ha, ha. I gotta tell you, that's kind of out of the blue, don't you think? 214 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,201 This is not out of the blue! 215 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,579 This is smack-dab in the middle of the blue! 216 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,414 Whoa! 217 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,083 Relax! Take it easy, buddy! 218 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,085 You don't have to tell me twice. 219 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,714 God, I mean, someone will be by for my stuff. 220 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:46,222 If you think I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane! 221 00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:48,600 You want some help? 222 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,685 No help required, chico! 223 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:02,739 All the way to the airport, huh? You know, that's over 30 miles. 224 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:06,242 That's gonna cost you about so bucks. 225 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:08,661 Excuse me, that's "50" bucks. 226 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:12,832 - What? - Five-O dollars. 227 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:17,712 Oh. You know what it is? It's smudgy because they're fax pages. 228 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:20,840 When I was on Days ofour Lives as Dr. Drake Ramoray... 229 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,344 ...they'd send over the whole script on real paper. 230 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:27,430 Ha, ha. That's great. 231 00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:31,684 If you wanted to expand this scene, like have the cab crash... 232 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,770 ...I could attend to the victims... 233 00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,064 ...because I have a background in medical acting. 234 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,275 Okay, listen, thanks for coming in. 235 00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:43,655 No. Uh, don't thank me for coming in. Uh, at least let me finish. 236 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,993 Uh, we could take the expressway... 237 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:53,665 ...but, uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. 238 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,546 You were going for bridge there, weren't you? 239 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:01,631 I'll have a good day. 240 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,471 Okay, question number 28. 241 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:12,767 "Have you ever allowed a lightning-bearer to take your wind?" 242 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,270 I would have to say no. 243 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,524 And I would have to say, "Pah, ha. " 244 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:21,651 What? 245 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,570 Do you not remember the puppet guy? 246 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:28,741 You totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power. 247 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,995 And his puppet too! 248 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,372 Well, at least I didn't let some guy... 249 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:37,500 ...into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date! 250 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,214 - Who? - Paul! 251 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,799 Oh! 252 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:48,177 Okay, okay, moving on, moving on. Next question. 253 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,888 Okay, number 29. 254 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:53,057 "Have you ever betrayed another goddess... 255 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,227 ...for a lightning-bearer?" Okay, number 30. 256 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:59,314 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's go back to 29. 257 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,817 Not, uh... 258 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,236 Ahem. Not to my recollection. 259 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,073 Danny Arshack, ninth grade. 260 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,868 You know the bottle was pointing at me. 261 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,787 Only because you took up half the circle! 262 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,210 Listen to you two. It's so sad. 263 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:22,503 Oh! 264 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,923 Looks like I'll be going to the goddess meetings alone. 265 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,466 Mm. 266 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,719 Not when they find out you slept with Jason... 267 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,639 ...an hour after he broke up with Monica. 268 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,100 One hour? 269 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:39,687 - You are such a leaf blower! Oh! 270 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,857 Ugh! 271 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,152 Ugh. 272 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,578 Oh, hey, uh, be careful with that 3-D Last Supper. 273 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,539 Judas is a little loose. 274 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,796 Oh, my God! What's going on? 275 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:09,258 They're taking all my stuff back. I guess you were right. 276 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:12,595 No, I wasn't right. That's what I came here to tell you. 277 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:17,266 I was totally hung up on my own stuff the other day. 278 00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:21,187 No, listen. I need the whole security thing, you know? 279 00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:25,775 To know where my next paycheck is coming from. But you don't need that. 280 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,735 And that's amazing to me. 281 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,238 I could never do what you do. 282 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,908 - Thanks. - You hold out for something bigger. 283 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,202 I can't tell you how much respect I have... 284 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,330 ...for you not going to that stupid audition. 285 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,165 - I went. - Great! How did it go? 286 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,710 - I didn't get it. - Good for you! 287 00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,128 You're living the dream! 288 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,796 - Huh? - Ha, ha. 289 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,840 All right, then! 290 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,926 - Oh, not my parrot. - What? 291 00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,929 I can't watch this. 292 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,640 Hey, hold on, hold on. 293 00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,894 How much for the, uh? How much to save the bird? 294 00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,938 - Twelve hundred. - Dollars? 295 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,899 You spent $1200 on a plastic bird? 296 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:10,069 Uh, it was an impulse buy. Near the register. 297 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,989 Go ahead with the bird. 298 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:17,535 - Do you have anything for around $200? - Uh. 299 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,203 The dog. 300 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,706 - Huh? - Yeah. 301 00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:24,792 I'll take it. 302 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,711 My gift to you, man. 303 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,381 Thanks, Ross! 304 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,675 I really liked that bird, though. 305 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,928 - But the dog! Oh! - Yeah. Right? 306 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,813 Here are your cakes. 307 00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,315 We didn't order cake. 308 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,610 No, I know. Ahem. They're from me. 309 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,154 You guys, this is not good. 310 00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:55,865 We have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind... 311 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,159 ...without taking it from each other. 312 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,203 - You're right. You know? 313 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,663 I love you goddesses. 314 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,249 I love you. 315 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,168 I don't ever want to suck your wind again. 316 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:08,836 Oh. 317 00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,464 - Thank you. So are we good? - Oh. We're good. 318 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:12,757 - We're good? - Yes. 319 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,469 Okay. Let me take these back. They'll take it out of my paycheck. 320 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,682 Ding-dong, the psycho's gone! 321 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,939 - Are you sure this time? Yes. 322 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,024 I actually saw him leave. 323 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,610 That guy is holding a human head. 324 00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:35,446 He's holding a human head! 325 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:38,991 Check it out, man! 326 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:42,328 I tore it off a mannequin in the alley behind Macy's. Ha, ha. 327 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:43,871 There is no alley behind Macy's. 328 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,541 So I got it in the junior miss department. Big diff. 329 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:50,461 It'll make a hell of a conversation piece at our next cocktail party, huh? 330 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,547 "Our next cocktail party"? 331 00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:56,717 Yeah, you know, we'll put chips in it. We'll make it a chip chick. 332 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,390 Eddie, do you remember yesterday? 333 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,684 Uh, yes, I think I vaguely recall it. 334 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:12,900 Ahem. Do you remember talking to me yesterday? 335 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,277 Uh, yes. 336 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,658 So, what happened? 337 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,869 We took a road trip to Las Vegas! 338 00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,954 Oh, sweet Moses! 339 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,167 So on this road trip, uh, did you win any money? 340 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,587 Nah, I crapped out. But Mr. 21 here! He cleans up! 341 00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:35,089 $300! He buys me these new shoes. Sweet, huh? 342 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:36,757 Nice. 343 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,051 Uh, see you upstairs. See you, pals! 344 00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,974 Is anyone else starting to really like him? 345 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:06,829 May I help you? 346 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:11,334 Why doesn't my key work, and what's my stuff doing downstairs? 347 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,378 I'm sorry. Aah. 348 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,297 Have we met? 349 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,799 It's Eddie, you freak! Your roommate. 350 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,385 I'm sorry, I, uh... 351 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:24,388 ...I already have a roommate. 352 00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:27,725 Hello. 353 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:35,942 Um, he's lived here for years. I don't know what you're talking about. 354 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:37,985 No, no. He's, uh... 355 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:42,240 No, he moved out and I moved in. 356 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,701 Well, I think we'd remember something like that. 357 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,455 I know I would. Ha, ha. 358 00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,375 That's, uh, a good point. Um... 359 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,043 Okay, wow. Huh. 360 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,504 I guess I got the wrong apartment. 361 00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,548 Look, I'm... 362 00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:02,009 - I'm terribly sorry. - Hey, no problem. 363 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,386 See you. 364 00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:13,229 Goodbye, you fruit-drying psychopath. 365 00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:18,609 - You want me to help you unpack? - Nah, I'm okay. Oh, and, uh... 366 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:22,488 Just so you know, I'm not moving back in because I have to. 367 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:25,408 I mean, I do have to, but... 368 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:28,786 It's just that that place, it wasn't really... 369 00:21:29,037 --> 00:21:30,788 I mean, this is... 370 00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:33,708 Welcome home, man. 371 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:45,678 - A little foos? - Absolutely! 372 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,057 What happened to the foosball? 373 00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:52,184 It's a cantaloupe. 374 00:21:57,399 --> 00:22:00,234 Are we gonna bring this out every time Ross comes over? 375 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,986 He paid a lot of money for it. 376 00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:11,037 - I'm gonna hold him a different way. - All right. 377 00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:15,958 If you hated it so much, why'd you buy it in the first place? 378 00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:20,046 Well, I had a whole ceramic-zoo thing going over there. 379 00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:22,715 But without the other ones, it looks tacky. 380 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:27,219 Is he housetrained or will he leave little bathroom tiles all over? 381 00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,221 Stay. 382 00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,058 Uh, stay! 383 00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:34,435 Good fake dog. 28008

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