All language subtitles for Veep.S01E08.720p.5.1Ch.BluRay.ReEnc-DeeJayAhmed

(THEME MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Am l all packed, Gary?

Yeah, we're all covered.

The thing about Ohio is
the weather is completely schizophrenic.

- L know.
- We dress you wrong,

you're either freezing like a popsicle
or you're sweating like a hog.

- Or a ballerina, or modern dancer.
- Okay, it's fine.

Is there an indoor pool at this place?
I packed my swimsuit.

Why are you asking me that?

And have we heard from the President
on the economic forum?

- Yeah. Last l heard, he was three over par.
- Huh?

Oh, forum's not happening.

- POTUS took a golf day.
- Do you know who he's playing golf with?

- No, who?
- No, no, no, who?

Oh, you don't know
and you want me to find out.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay. Sorry.

- Dan. Dan Egan.
- Hey.

Good to see you again, buddy.

I miss your emails. Long time no cc.

Still up here in Cleveland, huh, Will?

Just rutting around with
the regional swine?

Slaving away for Furlong?

Well, l am the senior advisor now.
So l get free Wi-Fi.

L'll be going to D.C. a lot more.

Oh, my God. With that provincial sensibility and
that girlish figure, you're not gonna last.

Listen, Dan, the congressman expects
your boss to endorse him for governor.

Yeah, we're aware of that.

It's gotten a bit complex, all right?

So the congressman would like
to speak with you in his room.

If you'd just join me, okay?

I recognize you. You're one of Selina's
little gay dwarves, aren't you?

Are you Sappy? ls that it? Preppy?

Actually, my name is Dan Egan.

You might remember, actually,
l used to work for Congresswoman Hayes.

Oh, my gosh, of course
l don't remember that.

Listen, l need your help, buddy.
I need you to go back and tell Selina

that l don't want her to
endorse me for governor, okay?

She's about as welcome here
as a turd in a hot tub.

Well, that could be a bit of an issue.

We're trying to run a fundraiser
and she's kind of

toxic at the box office, all right?

We're having to bump our silver plates
up to gold plates,

gold plates are going
up to platinum plates.

L'd make more money if
l installed Will here

as a full-time glory hole greeter
at a Georgetown gay bar.

Which l'm pretty sure
he already does part-time.

- Right, Will?
- Yes, sir.

Congressman,
she's on her way here right now.

So what?
There's plenty to do here in Cleveland.

Send her to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

First time l took this kid,

one look at Kurt Cobain's shoes,
he was bawling like a fucking baby.

"lt's too soon! lt's too soon!"

Ma'am, Martin Collins,
the Secret Service guy we reassigned...

- Mmm-hmm.
- He's back. He's been un-reassigned.

- Are you kidding me?
- Not great, admittedly.

"Not great, admittedly"? Yeah, that
should be the title of my fucking memoir.

He's not outside here, is he? Oh, hi!

Oh, my! Okay, great.

All right, that's all l want to say
to him for the rest of my life.

- Hey, approval ratings just came through.
- Oh.

66%.

- What?
- Approve.

- (ALL GASP)
- Oh, sorry, disapprove.

(ALL GROAN)

You know what?
You go ride with the security detail.

There's no room for you in this car.

She can thank the troops,
she can charm all the mouth-breathers,

and then she can go back to D.C.
No big deal.

The one thing she will not be doing

is standing up and endorsing me.
You got me?

I get the stamp of approval from her,

and l might as well
nail a bunch of puppies to the ground

and then start running them over and crush
their skulls with my campaign bus.

All due respect, we did have

an informal understanding that she
would endorse your run for governor.

All right, well, all due respect, cock nugget,
there's been a little too much of this

informal understanding
going on around here.

- Lsn't that right, Will?
- Yes, sir.

Clean Jobs was your office, right?

And its role in the Macauley amendment.

Getting Senator Macauley to sneak in
the VP's lame-ass legislation

against the President's will.

Macauley thing, yeah, that didn't happen.

Will, tell him who l am.

Sir, you're the Vice Chair
of the Congressional Oversight Committee.

And in that capacity,
l have a duty to shine a light

on any of this kind of backseat,
finger-fucking insider bullshit, Dan.

Thank you for your time, Congressman.

I will do what l can.

Don't endorse.

- She seems nice.
- Yeah.

(SlRENS BLARlNG)

SELlNA: 'Cause of that smiling
Secret Service guy, Amy,

66% disapprove.

That's everyone in America
who's awake right now.

AMY: Okay, let's not concentrate
on that today.

Let's concentrate on Ohio.

SELlNA: How could that many Americans
not like me?

I think they got it wrong. They counted
those numbers wrong or something.

Or all those Americans
are completely wrong.

Okay, this is the hotel manager.
We promised him four seconds.

- Hi.
- Madam Vice President. Welcome to our hotel.

We have to take the Vice President away.
Apologies.

Why have l been given this pig's blood?

- Lt's tomato juice. lt's the Ohio state beverage.
- (SELlNA GROANS)

MlKE: Oh, piss. Ma'am.
SELlNA: Yeah?

They're having trouble
moving big donor tickets.

- What?
- Yeah.

- Why? Because of me?
- No.

Amy, you're gonna
have to start getting everyone to like me.

Ma'am. Hi. Good news.

We are not exactly
selling that many platinum level tickets.

I just gave her that news.

Yeah, but it was so much more
depressing coming out of you.

Not to worry. l have a strategy.

Okay, look, we smile the smiles,
we shake the hands,

but we do not endorse.
We give the press nothing to report.

No, that makes me look even weaker.

All right, ma'am, l...

- l really think this is something to consider.
- (PHONE RlNGlNG)

Jonah.

Greetings from the clubhouse of power, Amy.

You need to know that
the White House understands

just how toxic the Veep is
after these latest numbers.

It's a tough time, we're aware.

Do you want to know how toxic she is, Amy?

Imagine something small
has crawled up a dead cow's ass.

And then that small thing
actually dies itself.

If that dead thing then
farted out a sack of eggs,

but each individual egg

is a smaller, rotting dead thing.

That's how toxic she is.

Okay, thanks for the input.

And l know you're under
a lot of pressure over there,

so if you ever need a shoulder to cry on

or a bootie to call on,
you have my number, okay.

Did you find out
who the President's playing golf with?

Golf. You know,
men walking around with sticks

- talking about their careers.
- Oh. Mmm.

I was gonna follow up on that, ma'am.
I didn't forget.

I did not forget.

Ma'am, it's Congressman Furlong.

- Well, you can tell him to go fuck him...
- He's right here, ma'am.

- Madam Vice President.
- Oh, Roger.

Thank you so much for seeing me.

Well, thank you for dropping by.

Excuse me while l get
myself pulled together.

Of course. l like this room. This is great.

Yeah, it's the Presidential suite.

- Vice Presidential, anyway.
- (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

Listen, l've seen the disapproval numbers.

So l appreciate the
delicate situation here.

Uh...

Just part of the job.

No, it's not. This is Will.

Will, what were they saying
about the disapproval?

Apologies, ma'am.
"Effed in the b-hole" across all networks.

Ma'am, that is a lingering
image to try to overcome, l'll tell you.

What's this about, Congressman?

Well, l was hoping maybe,
ma'am, we could have a moment.

- Yes. Have a seat.
- Thank you.

Ma'am, l don't want you to endorse
my run for governor at this time.

Um, well, Roger,

- that is difficult...
- Mmm-hmm.

- For me because l'm here.
- Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, that's great. Can l get some water?

It's being put to me that...

- Gary, could l get some water?
- GARY: Yeah.

It's being put to me that, and l apologize,

but politically speaking,
you are damaged goods.

I'm hearing that your credibility is...

- Where is it located, Will?
- The toilet.

Again, not my words. So...

The toilet?

- L don't want this.
- Okay.

More accurately, the crapper.

Who are you?

- Who is this fucking infant?
- No one.

Let me be very clear
with you about something, okay, Roger?

I don't even like you.

- Right.
- Right?

And now l've, you know,
been told to come here and endorse you.

So do you understand how embarrassing this
would be for me now not to endorse you?

Yes, of course. l get it, yeah.

And listen, in the spirit
of reciprocity, ma'am,

l don't really care for you
much either personally.

You can't stop me from endorsing you.

Then l will reject the
endorsement publically.

Madam Vice President,
do you need five minutes?

No, l don't need five minutes.

I'm absolutely fucking fine.
Thank you very much.

You know, Roger,
do you sometimes think about,

l don't know, l give you this
and you give me that

and black is up, but brown is down now?

- Do you know what l mean?
- Mmm-hmm.

I mean, in life or even just with love,

you know, l mean, at the end of the day,

aren't we just all finally just people?
(CHUCKLES)

- True words, ma'am.
- Yeah.

I mean, you know, l haven't...

l haven't seen my daughter in,
like, three months.

And Ted is just... Ah!

I don't know where he went, you know?

And l would...

l would love to go to that party, you know?

I would like to be everywhere.

(BLOWlNG NOSE LOUDLY)

Look, Madam Vice President, l'm sorry.

This doesn't give me any pleasure.

Don't you say it gives you no pleasure.

When anybody ever says that,

all they mean is that it does
give them so much pleasure.

- Look...
- l know what that means.

Maybe you should make an address, okay?

Talk about politics
and America working together.

I know how to give a motherfucking speech.

Don't you patronize me with your no jaw.

You Congressman No Jaw!

Okay, ma'am. We should... We have to go.

- Get the fuck out.
- Okay. Okay.

He was just not a nice man.

L'll get you some tea, okay?

L'll get you some tea. l'll just leave
Mike. He can stay here with you.

- L'm sorry about your tears.
- Yeah.

They suck.

You know, my papaw used to say,

"lt's always darkest
before the storm." So...

Oh, the dawn, the dawn.

"lt's always darkest before the dawn."
And then he would kiss me.

All right, this might sound crazy,
but go with it.

Her crying was very authentic

and humanizing.

Okay.

I like your thinking.

I actually found it slightly erotic, too.

I take it back.

That's why it took me so long
to split up with Angie.

She'd always cry, l'd always get a hard-on.

- Now you've lost me.
- Listen.

We should spitball on this, though.

The crying game play, all right?

All we've got to do is set her up
and let the cameras roll.

Then we've just got to
tweak the tear nipple.

How do we make it happen?

Could spray her with pepper spray.

Call her fat. Kidding.

What is it that made her cry?

It's Catherine, right?
The absent mother blubber.

- Genius.
- Yeah.

Chinese daughter torture. lt's a good one.

I can't believe we're doing this.

On the other hand, we are currently
polling lower than a side of beef

with eyes drawn on it, so...

- Okay, ma'am. Light and frothy.
- Yeah.

- Cappuccino politics, okay?
- Right.

- Big three industries in Ohio.
- Yeah.

- Rubber, petrochemical, agriculture.
- Right. Okay.

- Hit rubber. lt's a big rubber state.
- Okay. Good. Yeah.

What is that, a fax?
Is that a message to yourself from 1 988?

Look who's playing golf with the President.

Danny Chung.

- Chung.
- Shut up.

- What is that?
- Don't worry about it.

Felicia, one second. Feel free to
dive right in on the daughter, okay?

'Cause we want to hit
these disapproval ratings head-on.

See, when he says things like
that to me, it makes me anxious.

We just found out that
Governor Chung is golfing with POTUS.

So, if you want to talk about that...

- All right.
- Thank you so much.

It is just great to be
back in the state of Ohio.

Been a rough couple of months
for you, though.

Your filibuster reform stalled.

Clean Jobs initiative, dead in the water.

You talk a lot about
really wanting to be able to make change.

Do you still think you're gonna be able
to make that happen?

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, l'm very proud

of what we've been able
to achieve thus far.

So you feel you're back in the game?

Well, it's not a game to me.

Must be very hurtful for you, too,
with all the gossip going around.

Is she gonna go? l just understand today

that the President is golfing
with Governor Chung.

Does that bother you?

Well, l mean, the President
can play golf with whoever he likes.

But l'm here because l have work to do.

It's 24/7. lt's a public duty.

24/7 doesn't leave you much time
for your family, your daughter.

Well, l mean, it's a punishing schedule,
that's for sure.

I mean, you get tired

and you get knocked back.

But...

Can you imagine, Felicia, if l'm tired,

imagine how tired
the rubber makers are here in Ohio.

She is magnificent.

Making rubber day in and day out.

I feel that Ohio is the rubber ball state,

if you think about it.

Always bouncing back.

I don't know what the hell
she could have been thinking.

When was the last time
you cried twice in one day?

It was a little more
recently than you'd think.

FURLONG: Odd Job. (WHlSTLES)

Come here.
What the fuck gives with your boss?

I saw the meltdown.

Congressman, l saw passion.

- L saw conviction.
- L saw a fucking crazy lady. That's what l saw.

If she mentions my name,
if l get the stamp of approval,

the Midas touch from Jenny Shitfinger,
l'm coming for you, pal.

Me and the Congress
of the United States will get your ass.

Yes, sir.

Ask your buddy Macauley about it.
Maybe he can help you.

MAN: (ON MlCROPHONE)
Here comes the Vice President.

Hello! Yes. l see you.

Oh, wow, and look at this group.

Are they gonna live long enough
to make it to election day?

Right behind me? Probably not.

Hello, children who do not vote.

We're getting great media response
to the interview.

- Are you getting this, too?
- No, better.

L've been polling the room.
It's warm, it's friendly.

If this plays in Ohio,
it's gonna go national.

Come on, Amy.

- Marcus.
- What?

I made you a cake with your face on it.

Are you kidding me? Oh!

That looks like me
after a long day in the Senate.

(ALL CHUCKLlNG)

l think she's only paid 50 bucks.

I have to go.

- Madam Vice President.
- Yes?

L'd like to introduce you
to one of our actual platinum donors.

I have some great ideas about tax
reform l want to talk to you about.

- L want to hear them.
- Well, there's two types of people.

- Uh-huh.
- Okay?

You got grabbers.
And then you have the other kind.

- L don't have a name for that.
- Oh.

- The ones who don't grab.
- Oh.

The grabbers, all right,
they take the world by the scrotum, okay?

Oh!

- And they make it happen.
- This is just riveting stuff.

- L'm so sorry. So sorry.
- Yes?

I don't know what to say,
so l'm just whispering instead.

Oh, mmm-hmm, l have the...

- Middle East.
- You can talk later.

- We have all night.
- L appreciate that. Hello. Uh-huh.

SELlNA: l just want to eat in a
quiet corner away from these bozos.

AMY: Okay.

And that's the essence of a grabber.

- Okay?
- Mmm-hmm.

You'd think with all the money
l'm jerking up the wall here,

l'd get more than a stuffed chicken breast.

Right, well, you know, l've got to tell
you, these caterers, they've got...

l gave 30,000 bucks, l
get a chicken breast.

That guy didn't give
500 bucks, he's got a chicken breast.

What do l get, stuffing?

- SELlNA: Okay.
- Throw me a drumstick or something.

- Larry.
- Hey.

- Lt's good to see you.
- Why, you need a lawyer? (CHUCKLES)

All right, look. Listen.

I may have gotten involved
in a little something.

What happens if l get called in
before a congressional committee?

Okay, you need three
versions of your statement.

Uh-huh, like what l say happened,
what they say happened, and the truth?

Right?

A written, an oral, and a shorter oral
in case of a time limit.

- Right.
- Yeah.

You want to tell
a congressional committee the truth, Dan.

Anything out of line,
you're looking at a perjury charge.

- Fuck!
- Don't call attention to yourself, all right?

Just lay low, keep your head down.

All right, now let's say
this does actually happen

and l get called in,
what's it like up there?

You know those dreams where your football
coach is screaming at you,

you look down, you're dressed like Shirley
Temple and then all your teeth fall out?

That's like a Disney version
of a congressional committee.

You're gonna get hometown,
downtown questions.

You'll catch partisan shit.
There's gonna be grandstanding.

And if they smell blood,
if they think that you're going down

and there's gonna be a kill,

you might get what we
call "corpse fucking."

Jesus. Corpse fucking?

That's what it's called
where they take your mortal remains

and have as much fun with it as they can.

'Cause everybody wants to be the guy
getting the TV sound bite, okay?

And they're gonna be talking about you.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so, so, very, very much.
Good evening, everyone.

What are you doing?

Sir, this crying is tracking pretty well.

What?

- Oh, shit.
- Yeah, it's good.

Okay, that changes everything.

She's someone l know you know very well.

- Hey, come here.
- Relax, okay?

I spoke to her. You spoke to her.

She's not gonna fucking endorse.

No, no, no. We want her to endorse now.

Okay? She's gone from toxic to turn-on.

So just, when we give you the nod,
give her the signal, all right?

You guys are burning a fucking hole
through my stomach, all right?

I just spent all afternoon
fixing this for you.

And now you want me to unfix it?

Is this your first day in the game?

I think he's wrapping up, so...

- Okay.
- How you feeling?

Well, l'm a political leper,
and l'm an emotional time bomb.

So here's an idea, let's put me onstage.

Selina Meyer.

(ALL CHEERlNG)

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much.

So wonderful. Thank you.

Please be seated.
Thank you so much. lt is my very...

Come on, what are you waiting for?
Give her the signal.

What the fuck is the signal?

There's no international signal to endorse.

Use your fucking head.
Give her a thumbs up or something.

Oh, my goodness. Well, this has been

quite the day, hasn't it?

WOMAN: We love you!

(ALL CHEERlNG)

Thank you very much.

She can't cry three times in a day.

That's three strikes and you're out.

How big are her tear ducts?

It's like they're fucking tidal.

Such a happy occasion, and...

Jesus Christ. Fuck it, don't endorse.

I'm so glad to be here in
the 17th state of the union.

My grandfather, he was from Cincinnati,
as a matter of fact. Oh!

We used to have a saying in our family.

We used to say, "We're awfully embarrassed

"by our buckteeth.

"But we were mighty proud of our buckeyes."

(ALL CHEERlNG LOUDLY)

Okay, endorse. Endorse. Endorse.

- You're sure?
- Endorse. Yes.

I still miss my grandpa.

What is that, Popeye?

- No, be strong.
- He was the best.

He was such a strong man

from a great state.

And so that's why l've come here today.

L've come here today

to give my 100% support

to Congressman Roger Furlong

to be the next, the best, governor of Ohio.

That's right. That's you. Come on up here.

What the hell just happened?

So great to be part of
your feel-good moment.

- You're a dirty little prick.
- (BOTH LAUGHlNG)

Oh, boy. Thank you so much.

- Absolutely.
- Oh, boy.

Don't forget your booster seat.

Oh, shove it up your ass.

- Thanks so much.
- Okay.

(LAUGHlNG)

Hey, that photographer who reads lips,
he's not here, is he?

- Mmm-mm.
- No. That's a blessing.

Did you see the Chicago Tribune?

Oh, this is so great.
L've never enjoyed reading this much.

You know, my mom said
that Selina looked human and vulnerable.

- Great.
- Not a compliment.

She sees human vulnerability as a weakness.

- L like your mom.
- Don't talk about my mother, Dan.

- Good morning!
- MlKE: Morning!

Did you see the Chicago Tribune?

L've seen it, l've read it, l've eaten it,

l've showered in it. l'm back, my babies.

Yeah, you are. Like rubber Jesus.
(LAUGHlNG)

And, Dan, get over here and shake my hand.

- What a great job you did.
- My pleasure.

Seriously, getting me to endorse Furlong.

How about that round of applause?

Come on, guys. Give it up for him.

Absolutely great.

You know none of these people
genuinely like you.

So fucking what?

Hey, everyone. Oh, hey!

Hey, it's about time. Thank you.

Hey, Mike.

POTUS is so excited about
this new narrative.

I engineered Selina crying on camera.

I'm the puppet master. l'm Pinocchio.

Pinocchio wasn't the puppet master, Mike.
He was the puppet.

- Uh, yeah, he was.
- Five-year-olds get that.

Jonah, do you come
bearing news from the gentleman's club?

I come bearing a message
of support from the President.

- Oh!
- As you know, he called.

Sue, did the President call?

No.

- Huh.
- Well, it wasn't an actual call.

- L am here in lieu of that call.
- Uh-huh.

But he and we are very...

So now l have
a very big announcement to make.

L'd like everyone to follow me
into my office, please.

This-a-way. Okay, so l am about to announce
a certain realignment.

Oh, Mike. l am sorry for your loss.

Dan, you're getting a promotion.

Wow. Yeah!

- Thank you so much. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

I just signed for an auto lease.
If l could get six months...

l want you to be in charge
of day-to-day rebuttal for me, all right?

You'll be the new director
of policy and presentation.

Thank you, ma'am.
This is all l've ever wanted.

This is all l've never wanted.

Is he... ls Dan my boss now?

Can l just say that
this is really exciting to watch?

I guess l've got some
business to attend to.

- What business?
- That's a need-to-know basis, Mike.

And you don't have the clearance.

Funny. ls that true?

This is sad. You're like an old panda
that's gonna get put down at the zoo.

- They bring kids in to watch that.
- Fuck off.

I'm assuming l'm safe.

Amy, you pretended to have
a miscarriage for me.

You remain crucial to my policy team.

All right, boys and
girls, l got a promotion.

All right, so first order of business
is to issue a press release,

which l already have written.

Colette, if you would do the honors.

In the "me" file under "phase one."

Okay, and you and you,

l need you to move this desk.

Let's go. Don't give me that
sad orphan face, all right?

Take your little snack pack
and your water bottle and get the fuck out.

- Hey, Dan.
- Yes?

Congrats on the big promotion.
You and l should grab another drink.

Yeah, you know what?
Run it by my secretary. His name is Mike.

No, no, no, you've got to move that back.

I'm not gonna have you
eyeballing me all day.

- That's not gonna go right there.
- Relax, cow eyes.

I'm not gonna be sitting here
looking at your cow eyes the whole time.

Guys, seat goes right here.

- Shit, shit.
- What? What? What?

Twitter eruption. Veep's trending.

- Amy, what's going on?
- Yeah?

You're trending, ma'am.

I'm on Twitter, but it wants me
to create a new account.

- L don't know how to do this.
- Well, then do that.

Amy, what the fuck? What is it, Amy?

This is the reporter from Ohio, Felicia.

Wait, wait. No, l got it. l got it.

"Got played by Team Veep.
They wanted me to make her cry."

Hashtag "Fakeveepweep." What the fuck?

What? Who wanted to make me cry?

Mike engineered your crying, ma'am.

He said that he was your puppet master.

Actually, he said he was your Pinocchio,

but l think he meant Geppetto,
who was actually the puppet master.

Mike got you to cry on camera.

- What the fuck, Mike?
- What the fuck, Mike?

Amy, get into my office.
Mike, especially you.

Go into my office. Okay.

Holy Christ. Look at the size of this one.

Buddy, l think you're
as big as my gay dwarf.

I need to see the Vice President now.

Sorry, l don't work here.
I do work in the West...

Well, then get the hell out of my way,
you leaning tower of...

- Pisa.
- No.

- Shit?
- Good.

- Move it.
- Yes, sir.

Hey, sweet cakes.
I need to get in to see the Veep.

Congressman, if you call me that again,
you'll need to see a paramedic.

- Take care of that.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Big bully, what are you doing?
- You think that l'm a crybaby?

Sorry to barge in, Madam Vice President.

Yeah, Larry, listen.
Furlong is in the office.

Don't talk to Furlong.
You need to keep a low profile.

I just issued a press release
announcing my promotion.

Bye, Dan.

Frankly, ma'am, l'm angry.
Will, tell her why.

The press claims that you intentionally cried
in order to divert attention away from the fact

that we had to bus people

- into the fundraiser.
- Uh-huh.

FURLONG: And now l'm being implicated
in your disgusting little lies,

and, actually, l really don't feel like being
dragged into the toilet with you, ma'am.

Number one, Congressman,

l'm sick of taking your shit, okay?

Number two, number one again.

The crying was manipulated, ma'am.
I was manipulated.

And this meeting is now terminated

because this was never a meeting
to even begin with.

You're gonna need to leave
'cause l'm not really aware

of where my actions will take me, okay?

What are you gonna do?
You gonna choke me with some Spanx?

(CHUCKLES) Do you want to try me?

You got breath mints in that bag? Let's go.

Oh, you got a nice big red dot
in the middle of your forehead, Danno.

- And it ain't a fucking bindi.
- Excuse me?

You'd better saddle up, cowgirl,
'cause l'm gonna ride this whole office

into a congressional investigative hearing

over the Macauley amendment
and the attendant corruption.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just relax.

I think you might want
to get yourself a helmet, okay?

And a bulletproof vest
and an iron jockstrap.

'Cause you're gonna get your head shot,
your back stabbed, and your nuts danced on.

Have a good Monday.

Bye, Sue.

All right, you're gonna
need to stay in your former position.

Okay? Keep a low profile.

In your face, Dan. (GRUNTS)

Um, Ma'am, l may have already
issued a press release

- regarding my promotion.
- Really?

Well, can l un-promote you?
I don't think so.

Is he my boss again?

Only in title, all right?
You're still senior to him.

In your fucking face.

Stop it, okay? Please, Mike.

Hey, Dan, l'm gonna take
a rain check on that beer, okay?

Oh, my God in heaven. So, let's see.

The guy that l have just put in charge
of rebutting

is now in charge of rebutting questions
over the Macauley amendment,

which is the very thing
he should be nowhere near rebutting.

Right?

I did warn you about him, ma'am.

Okay, get out, Amy. Get out of my office.

See now, now l want to cry.

But l can't cry.

- Can l get you a cup of tea? Okay.
- Yeah.

You know, l mean,
this job has fucked me up so bad.

Now l don't fucking know
if l can cry anymore.

I wouldn't worry about it, ma'am.

I mean, you've only got
four years of this, so...

Eight years, l guess,
if we got reelected, obviously.

Twelve if you run for president.

Sixteen, two-term.

So think about that.

Egan, all right? Dan Egan.
That's Dan with a capital "D"

and Egan with an "open your fucking ears."

Yes, "E" as in ears.

Yeah, l'll hold.

MlKE: When Dan goes home,
l want that desk back here, okay?

SUE: No, she's busy. And tomorrow.

Well, that's tomorrow in the plural.

All of them.