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1
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♪ I am the stone
The builder refused ♪
2
00:00:03,609 --> 00:00:05,843
♪ I am the visual
The inspiration ♪
3
00:00:05,757 --> 00:00:07,224
♪ That made lady
Sing the blues ♪
4
00:00:07,168 --> 00:00:09,036
♪ I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ♪
5
00:00:08,964 --> 00:00:10,564
♪ The same spark
That lights the dark ♪
6
00:00:10,502 --> 00:00:12,103
♪ So that you can know
Left from right ♪
7
00:00:12,042 --> 00:00:14,109
♪ I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun ♪
8
00:00:14,029 --> 00:00:15,530
♪ The inner glow
That lets you know ♪
9
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,241
♪ To call your brother sun ♪
10
00:00:17,173 --> 00:00:18,472
♪ The story that just begun ♪
11
00:00:18,422 --> 00:00:19,790
♪ The promise
Of what's to come ♪
12
00:00:19,738 --> 00:00:20,938
♪ And I'm 'a remain a soldier ♪
13
00:00:20,892 --> 00:00:22,626
♪ Till the war is won
Won ♪
14
00:00:22,559 --> 00:00:25,728
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
15
00:00:25,606 --> 00:00:28,107
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
16
00:00:28,010 --> 00:00:30,212
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
17
00:00:30,128 --> 00:00:31,830
♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪
18
00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:33,987
[CRASHING]
19
00:00:33,943 --> 00:00:35,244
HUEY:
The sectarian conflict
20
00:00:35,194 --> 00:00:37,294
between myself
and my brother Riley
21
00:00:37,213 --> 00:00:39,982
was heading into its eighth
year with no signs of slowing.
22
00:00:39,875 --> 00:00:41,709
[HUMMING]
23
00:00:41,639 --> 00:00:44,007
[♪♪♪]
24
00:00:43,915 --> 00:00:45,984
[THUDDING, SMASHING]
25
00:00:47,026 --> 00:00:48,595
[HUMMING]
26
00:00:50,104 --> 00:00:55,408
[GLASS SMASHING, CRASHING]
27
00:00:55,203 --> 00:00:57,671
[HUMMING]
28
00:00:57,576 --> 00:00:58,945
HUEY:
Come back here, Riley.
29
00:00:59,628 --> 00:01:01,163
Huh?
30
00:01:03,861 --> 00:01:06,429
[GRANDDAD SCREAMING]
31
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:07,598
I'm tired of you two punksters.
32
00:01:07,549 --> 00:01:09,716
All you do is fight, eat
and fuck up my house.
33
00:01:09,633 --> 00:01:12,069
You think I wanna deal with
this shit at the end of my life?
34
00:01:11,975 --> 00:01:13,108
You know what I'm gonna do?
35
00:01:13,064 --> 00:01:14,331
Fill the bathtub
with water
36
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,750
and drown both
your little asses.
37
00:01:15,694 --> 00:01:17,194
Now, move the hell
out of my way.
38
00:01:17,136 --> 00:01:18,304
Still got soap in my ass.
39
00:01:20,151 --> 00:01:22,052
I'm telling you, Tom,
they drive women away.
40
00:01:21,979 --> 00:01:23,379
I used to have an exciting life.
41
00:01:23,325 --> 00:01:24,992
Have fun, travel.
42
00:01:24,928 --> 00:01:27,997
Oh, drink fine wines.
But not anymore.
43
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,947
I can't even go to dinner.
I can't even go to a damn movie.
44
00:01:30,828 --> 00:01:33,296
I come back,
my house look like Baghdad.
45
00:01:33,201 --> 00:01:35,103
I told you before,
you ought to drive them out
46
00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:36,463
to the middle of nowhere,
47
00:01:36,408 --> 00:01:38,743
leave 'em for dead and
then hope for the very worst.
48
00:01:38,653 --> 00:01:40,587
Sounds to me
like you need a vacation.
49
00:01:40,512 --> 00:01:43,515
Shit, who you telling?
I need to get my black ass away.
50
00:01:43,399 --> 00:01:45,066
Some place
far away and exotic.
51
00:01:45,002 --> 00:01:48,070
Absolutely. Splurge.
It's like the rappers say:
52
00:01:47,952 --> 00:01:49,220
do it big.
53
00:01:49,171 --> 00:01:51,138
"Do it big," huh?
I like that.
54
00:01:51,063 --> 00:01:52,363
I could go
on a "do it big" trip.
55
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:55,315
Ha-ha. Yeah.
Now you're talking. Yes.
56
00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,734
[LAUGHING]
57
00:01:56,675 --> 00:01:58,742
It might be time to bring
Mr. Bitches back out
58
00:01:58,662 --> 00:02:01,797
to show them young boys
how the real players play.
59
00:02:01,676 --> 00:02:02,677
[LAUGHING]
60
00:02:01,676 --> 00:02:02,676
Yeah.
61
00:02:02,638 --> 00:02:04,006
Oh, yeah, look out.
62
00:02:03,954 --> 00:02:06,955
Mr. Bitches is back
on the scene. Ha, ha, ha.
63
00:02:06,839 --> 00:02:09,208
High-five me. No? Okay.
64
00:02:09,117 --> 00:02:11,484
Yeah, you know what?
You should go to Latin America.
65
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:14,428
You know,
someplace like Costa Rica.
66
00:02:14,311 --> 00:02:15,745
Oh, I can see it now.
67
00:02:15,690 --> 00:02:18,792
Mr. Bitches hitting
the clubs all night long.
68
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,507
Get a table in VIP,
pop a little Cristal.
69
00:02:21,398 --> 00:02:23,098
Call the girls,
"Hey, babies--"
70
00:02:23,032 --> 00:02:24,866
TOM:
W-w-wait a minute, Robert.
71
00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:27,165
Ha-ha. I don't think you're
supposed to drink Cristal.
72
00:02:27,073 --> 00:02:29,809
Says who?
73
00:02:27,073 --> 00:02:29,808
Says Jay-Z. It's a boycott.
74
00:02:29,703 --> 00:02:32,004
The owner said something racial.
I don't know.
75
00:02:31,915 --> 00:02:33,382
Oh, hold on,
I know what he said.
76
00:02:33,326 --> 00:02:34,760
He said, and I quote:
77
00:02:34,705 --> 00:02:38,575
"I don't want no big nigger lips
drinking my fine wine,"
78
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:41,293
and I applaud him for putting
conviction over profit.
79
00:02:41,182 --> 00:02:43,584
Well, I don't know
if that's what he said,
80
00:02:43,492 --> 00:02:45,059
but you're not
supposed to drink it.
81
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:45,998
But I wanna drink Cris.
82
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,294
Poor white man.
83
00:02:47,243 --> 00:02:50,413
He can't have nothing nice
for himself no more.
84
00:02:50,290 --> 00:02:51,990
Polo?
Niggers got to that.
85
00:02:51,925 --> 00:02:54,060
Timberland?
Niggers got to that too.
86
00:02:53,977 --> 00:02:57,746
Mercedes, Versace, white women.
Niggers, niggers, niggers.
87
00:02:57,601 --> 00:03:00,837
Hey, Robert, if you want beef
with the Roc, that's on you.
88
00:03:00,711 --> 00:03:03,079
Hope the Jigga Man ain't there.
89
00:03:00,711 --> 00:03:03,078
Like I give a damn.
90
00:03:02,987 --> 00:03:04,521
Shoot,
I drink what I wanna drink.
91
00:03:04,462 --> 00:03:05,796
Besides,
I packs the heat.
92
00:03:05,745 --> 00:03:08,847
I wish a nigger would try
to tell me what to drink.
93
00:03:08,727 --> 00:03:10,027
Once you pop the Cris,
94
00:03:09,978 --> 00:03:12,046
that's when the pretty
señoritas come running
95
00:03:11,966 --> 00:03:14,267
because they know there's
a rich American in the room.
96
00:03:14,178 --> 00:03:16,980
TOM:
Yeah! I bet our dollar is worth 20 of theirs.
97
00:03:16,872 --> 00:03:19,441
GRANDDAD:
Shoot, all you gotta do is flash a little change.
98
00:03:19,342 --> 00:03:20,876
Ballin'!
99
00:03:20,817 --> 00:03:23,085
GRANDDAD: And it's on.
100
00:03:20,817 --> 00:03:23,084
[TOM AND GRANDDAD LAUGHING]
101
00:03:22,997 --> 00:03:25,132
TOM:
Yeah, you know what? I think I might join you.
102
00:03:25,049 --> 00:03:27,651
[TOM SCATTING POORLY]
103
00:03:27,551 --> 00:03:29,952
Uh, damn, Tom,
are you sure you wanna come?
104
00:03:29,859 --> 00:03:30,992
I mean,
you married.
105
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:32,350
Are you even allowed
to do it big?
106
00:03:32,297 --> 00:03:33,663
Ha! Oh, listen to this:
107
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:34,911
"Am I allowed"?
108
00:03:34,862 --> 00:03:38,565
Sure, as long as I stay
within the agreed parameters.
109
00:03:38,421 --> 00:03:40,589
Ha, ha.
Hey, I'm not dead, you know.
110
00:03:40,506 --> 00:03:43,608
I still do the darn thing
from time to time.
111
00:03:43,488 --> 00:03:46,556
You and me baby, doing it big.
It'll be great.
112
00:03:46,437 --> 00:03:47,437
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
113
00:03:47,399 --> 00:03:48,734
Yeah, I guess so.
114
00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:53,424
Pictures?
Yes, I'll take a dozen 8-by-10.
115
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,735
Yes. Jay-Z.
Yes. Cousin of mine.
116
00:03:55,641 --> 00:03:58,776
Heh-heh. First cousin.
More Cristal?
117
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:03,626
You are so exotic and beautiful.
118
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:03,625
Mm. Black sexual chocolate man.
119
00:04:03,432 --> 00:04:06,701
TOM:
Waiter, another Malibu and pineapple, please.
120
00:04:06,575 --> 00:04:08,643
Thank you.
Ha, ha, ha.
121
00:04:08,563 --> 00:04:10,431
So then my dream
got really weird,
122
00:04:10,359 --> 00:04:13,528
'cause I was a mummy
in a Japanese girl pop band.
123
00:04:13,406 --> 00:04:17,542
I had a skirt on and everything.
Do you know what that means?
124
00:04:17,381 --> 00:04:19,649
I am so bored.
I wanna go home.
125
00:04:19,562 --> 00:04:22,630
Well, we wanna go have a nasty
threesome with Mr. Bitches,
126
00:04:22,511 --> 00:04:24,012
but if you guys wanna
leave...
127
00:04:23,955 --> 00:04:26,891
Huh? No! No, please wait. No.
128
00:04:23,955 --> 00:04:26,890
See you.
129
00:04:26,776 --> 00:04:27,976
GRANDDAD:
Wait a minute!
130
00:04:27,931 --> 00:04:29,968
[♪♪♪]
131
00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:41,307
[SHOUTING]
Told you so!
132
00:04:42,554 --> 00:04:43,655
TOM:
So, what do you say?
133
00:04:43,613 --> 00:04:45,680
Should I call my travel agent
or what, huh?
134
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,770
Uh... Yeah.
Let me, uh, check my schedule.
135
00:04:49,609 --> 00:04:55,180
HUEY:
In the past, Granddad has had complications with babysitters.
136
00:04:54,964 --> 00:04:57,665
Oh, my God. What should we do?
Games, hula-hooping, Hot Wheels?
137
00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,463
I know. We should make s'mores.
Tell stories? Hide-and-go-seek?
138
00:05:00,351 --> 00:05:03,086
Can we play cops-and-robbers?
139
00:05:00,351 --> 00:05:03,085
I wouldn't.
140
00:05:02,979 --> 00:05:04,715
Cops-and-robbers?
Sounds like fun.
141
00:05:05,225 --> 00:05:06,858
[SCREAMING]
142
00:05:06,796 --> 00:05:07,963
Bitch, this all you got?
143
00:05:07,918 --> 00:05:09,586
Three dollars
and a prepaid cell phone
144
00:05:09,522 --> 00:05:13,191
with fucking two minutes on it?
145
00:05:13,049 --> 00:05:15,150
HUEY:
That landed us on DontSitEm.com.
146
00:05:15,069 --> 00:05:18,070
No teenager in the world
would babysit us now.
147
00:05:17,954 --> 00:05:19,388
Granddad was forced to hire
148
00:05:19,333 --> 00:05:21,536
one of those no-nonsense
British super nannies.
149
00:05:25,812 --> 00:05:27,479
Which actually worked out,
150
00:05:27,415 --> 00:05:30,884
except Granddad
set up a nanny cam.
151
00:05:30,749 --> 00:05:32,750
GRANDDAD:
This is when you used my telephone.
152
00:05:32,673 --> 00:05:33,974
Who the hell
you got to talk to?
153
00:05:33,925 --> 00:05:35,491
You left the lights on
in the kitchen.
154
00:05:35,431 --> 00:05:37,032
I don't see nobody there.
Do you?
155
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,671
Sitting up here,
watching television,
156
00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:39,839
all the lights on.
157
00:05:39,792 --> 00:05:42,394
Using up all of my electricity,
eating a sandwich.
158
00:05:42,293 --> 00:05:44,694
I'd like a sandwich myself.
All my bologna is gone.
159
00:05:44,602 --> 00:05:46,904
What's wrong with you,
woman?
160
00:05:46,815 --> 00:05:49,250
HUEY:
After that, Granddad had to be more creative.
161
00:05:49,156 --> 00:05:52,091
Excuse me, uh, my name
is Positive Brother Hakeem
162
00:05:51,978 --> 00:05:54,880
from Positive Big Black Brothers
and Sisters of America.
163
00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:57,135
And I understand you have
two misguided young brothers
164
00:05:57,044 --> 00:05:59,612
who need some positivity.
165
00:05:59,513 --> 00:06:01,781
Yep, bedtime's at 9.
Have fun.
166
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:04,529
Local calls only on my phone,
thank you.
167
00:06:04,419 --> 00:06:06,355
[♪♪♪]
168
00:06:07,337 --> 00:06:08,638
[HUMMING]
169
00:06:08,588 --> 00:06:10,389
[MUFFLED MURMURING]
170
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,787
[GASPS]
171
00:06:11,731 --> 00:06:13,867
[WHIMPERING]
172
00:06:19,266 --> 00:06:20,933
[SIGHS]
173
00:06:20,869 --> 00:06:22,469
HUEY:
Costa Rica for two weeks?
174
00:06:22,408 --> 00:06:24,310
How are we supposed
to survive for two weeks?
175
00:06:24,237 --> 00:06:25,337
Man,
what we gonna eat?
176
00:06:25,295 --> 00:06:27,462
Oh, now you worried
about how you're gonna
177
00:06:27,378 --> 00:06:28,946
make it
without your Granddaddy.
178
00:06:28,886 --> 00:06:31,454
Y'all should of thought about
that when y'all fucking up.
179
00:06:31,355 --> 00:06:33,223
It's too late now.
I may never come back.
180
00:06:33,151 --> 00:06:35,954
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
181
00:06:33,151 --> 00:06:35,953
Shoot, it's Tom.
182
00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:37,446
Y'all can't tell him I left.
183
00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:37,445
Why not?
184
00:06:37,383 --> 00:06:39,051
He wanna go to that
"do it big" trip too,
185
00:06:38,987 --> 00:06:40,654
but I can't roll
with a square like Tom,
186
00:06:40,590 --> 00:06:42,290
so I'm gonna go
and pretend I didn't go,
187
00:06:42,225 --> 00:06:44,026
and take that lie
with me to the grave.
188
00:06:43,957 --> 00:06:45,925
So don't tell him.
Say I went to the store.
189
00:06:45,849 --> 00:06:47,549
You went to the store
for two weeks?
190
00:06:47,484 --> 00:06:49,019
Yes, and don't
you go snitching.
191
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,561
Well, it's harder to talk
if my mouth is full.
192
00:06:51,461 --> 00:06:52,728
All right, fine.
193
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,680
I left food money
in the cabinet above the oven.
194
00:06:54,603 --> 00:06:56,370
That's all you gonna get.
So make it last.
195
00:06:56,302 --> 00:06:57,436
Hey there, Robert,
196
00:06:57,393 --> 00:06:59,795
I'd offer to help you,
but you're a coon.
197
00:06:59,702 --> 00:07:01,470
What's he doing here?
198
00:06:59,702 --> 00:07:01,469
He's your sitter.
199
00:07:01,401 --> 00:07:03,869
Granddad, me and Riley
don't need no babysitter.
200
00:07:03,774 --> 00:07:05,074
We can take care
of ourselves.
201
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,526
Yeah, not like we gonna
try to kill each other.
202
00:07:07,429 --> 00:07:10,832
Shut up. Do what Ruckus says
and don't mess up my house.
203
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:13,469
He don't even like black people.
204
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:13,468
Man, this punk fool right here.
205
00:07:13,361 --> 00:07:15,262
Okay, first of all,
ain't nobody talking
206
00:07:15,189 --> 00:07:17,691
while I'm talking,
so shut the fuck up.
207
00:07:17,595 --> 00:07:20,630
My name is Uncle Ruckus,
and I will be nigger-sitting
208
00:07:20,513 --> 00:07:23,415
you two until your
grandfather returns.
209
00:07:23,302 --> 00:07:24,669
Your granddaddy picked me
210
00:07:24,617 --> 00:07:26,685
because
I am a licensed zoologist.
211
00:07:26,605 --> 00:07:29,340
I have studied
a variety of wild animals,
212
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:33,772
and the African male is by far
the most savagely cunning.
213
00:07:33,596 --> 00:07:36,231
This is an opportunity
to observe you niggers
214
00:07:36,129 --> 00:07:38,530
in your natural habitat
and collect data.
215
00:07:38,438 --> 00:07:40,973
But be warned,
whatever nigger trickery
216
00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:44,411
you got up your sleeves
does not effect me.
217
00:07:44,274 --> 00:07:46,910
WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Please do not look Muslim at the airport.
218
00:07:49,309 --> 00:07:52,043
Hijacking is against the law.
219
00:07:51,937 --> 00:07:53,572
Damn,
I hate airports.
220
00:07:53,510 --> 00:07:54,711
This is all for show.
221
00:07:56,299 --> 00:07:58,400
Shoot, I bet you I could
sneak a midget on the plane
222
00:07:58,319 --> 00:07:59,986
with a stick of dynamite
up his ass.
223
00:07:59,922 --> 00:08:01,589
Do not say "bomb"
at the airport.
224
00:08:01,525 --> 00:08:03,160
Oh, hurry up.
I'm trying to do it big.
225
00:08:03,098 --> 00:08:05,665
Damn.
226
00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:08,468
Boarding pass and ID.
227
00:08:08,356 --> 00:08:10,758
Due to a heightened level
of security,
228
00:08:10,665 --> 00:08:14,769
no colored liquid or people
are allowed to board a plane.
229
00:08:18,553 --> 00:08:23,156
Please do not bring AK-47s
onto the plane.
230
00:08:22,978 --> 00:08:24,545
Boarding pass and ID.
231
00:08:24,484 --> 00:08:25,752
I've already showed it to her.
232
00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:27,872
Sir, I need to see
your boarding pass and ID.
233
00:08:27,789 --> 00:08:29,456
But I just showed it to her.
234
00:08:29,392 --> 00:08:31,760
I need to see it
as well, sir.
235
00:08:31,668 --> 00:08:34,070
But I just showed it to her,
then I walked straight to you.
236
00:08:33,978 --> 00:08:35,544
Sir, I don't have time for this.
237
00:08:35,483 --> 00:08:38,118
It's 'bout time for my break
and you are stepping on my time.
238
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,217
You don't have time? Shit.
239
00:08:39,171 --> 00:08:40,572
I'm the one
with a plane to catch.
240
00:08:40,518 --> 00:08:41,952
I don't wanna
show my ID again.
241
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,698
The only thing I did was put
my boarding pass and ID away
242
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:46,725
which is why I don't
wanna get it out again.
243
00:08:46,643 --> 00:08:48,177
Doesn't that makes sense?
244
00:08:48,118 --> 00:08:50,688
I didn't become a different
person in the last five feet!
245
00:08:52,415 --> 00:08:55,651
Mm-hm. We got a problem here.
Requesting backup.
246
00:08:55,526 --> 00:08:56,861
Okay. Okay, fine. Damn.
247
00:09:02,901 --> 00:09:05,104
I hate damn airports!
248
00:09:08,353 --> 00:09:10,721
Boarding pass and ID.
249
00:09:08,353 --> 00:09:10,720
[SCREAMS]
250
00:09:10,628 --> 00:09:12,195
The first time
you break the rules,
251
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,269
you get the cattle prod.
252
00:09:13,226 --> 00:09:16,728
The second, you get
the electric dog collar.
253
00:09:16,593 --> 00:09:19,764
The third time,
I'm calling up the lynching mob.
254
00:09:21,372 --> 00:09:24,273
Yeah. Yeah.
255
00:09:24,161 --> 00:09:26,029
Player, player.
Get to the clubs.
256
00:09:25,957 --> 00:09:27,257
Get the little pretty girls.
257
00:09:27,207 --> 00:09:29,775
Let them all kiss
all over me, and...
258
00:09:29,676 --> 00:09:32,279
[SNORING]
259
00:09:35,448 --> 00:09:36,917
[♪♪♪]
260
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:40,814
[COCKS]
261
00:09:48,563 --> 00:09:49,832
What the--?
262
00:09:51,385 --> 00:09:53,588
[BB SHOTS]
263
00:09:51,385 --> 00:09:53,588
RUCKUS: Ow!
264
00:09:54,848 --> 00:09:56,883
My ball sack, my ball sack!
Ah!
265
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,139
Somebody help! Ah!
266
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:01,781
Somebody, anybody,
267
00:10:01,711 --> 00:10:05,046
save me from these
African hooligans!
268
00:10:04,917 --> 00:10:05,984
Oh, oh.
269
00:10:05,943 --> 00:10:06,942
Oh, Lord.
270
00:10:06,904 --> 00:10:09,073
Oh, please, Jesus.
Oh, Lord. Wha--?
271
00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:10,724
[BB SHOTS, RUCKUS SCREAMING]
272
00:10:10,657 --> 00:10:12,924
Oh, Lord!
Why has thou forsaken me?
273
00:10:12,837 --> 00:10:13,905
[CHUCKLES]
274
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,666
Yeah-heh-heh-heh-heh.
275
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:21,796
[♪♪♪]
276
00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:23,883
♪ Haters say, "ha" ♪
277
00:10:23,836 --> 00:10:25,304
♪ Haters say, "what?" ♪
278
00:10:25,248 --> 00:10:26,614
♪ 'Cause if you hate on me... ♪
279
00:10:26,561 --> 00:10:27,962
This place is nasty,
clean it up.
280
00:10:27,909 --> 00:10:29,276
You ain't
the boss of me, nigga.
281
00:10:29,223 --> 00:10:31,091
Hey. While Granddad's gone,
I'm in charge.
282
00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:32,353
Why do you get
to be in charge?
283
00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:34,572
Why can't we take turns?
284
00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:34,571
'Cause I'm the oldest.
285
00:10:34,483 --> 00:10:36,049
Yeah?
Well, you're also the gayest.
286
00:10:35,989 --> 00:10:37,423
So I think
I should be in charge.
287
00:10:37,368 --> 00:10:39,537
[DOORBELL DINGS]
288
00:10:37,368 --> 00:10:39,536
Man, clean it up now.
289
00:10:39,453 --> 00:10:40,888
You clean it up, bitch.
290
00:10:43,301 --> 00:10:45,068
Hey there, Huey,
is your grandfather in?
291
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,168
I need to talk to him.
We're planning a trip.
292
00:10:47,084 --> 00:10:49,152
He had to run out and get
some things, Mr. DuBois.
293
00:10:49,072 --> 00:10:51,474
He say when he's gonna be back?
294
00:10:49,072 --> 00:10:51,473
Try his cell, Mr. DuBois.
295
00:10:51,381 --> 00:10:52,550
Oh, okay.
296
00:10:56,768 --> 00:10:58,635
Well, heh-heh-heh,
it's just that--
297
00:10:58,564 --> 00:10:59,564
Well, his, um--
298
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:00,526
[CLEARS THROAT]
299
00:11:00,488 --> 00:11:02,623
His car is right there,
and, um...
300
00:11:02,540 --> 00:11:04,807
It won't start.
He took a cab, Mr. DuBois.
301
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,455
Oh.
302
00:11:06,388 --> 00:11:07,590
Okay.
303
00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,394
Riley. Riley,
I'm going to the store.
304
00:11:11,327 --> 00:11:12,828
Figure out
what you wanna eat.
305
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:15,925
The money.
306
00:11:18,894 --> 00:11:19,894
What up?
307
00:11:19,856 --> 00:11:22,258
[♪♪♪]
308
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:24,200
What the--?
309
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:24,199
Now, before you start hating,
310
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,389
ask yourself-- Be honest.
311
00:11:26,302 --> 00:11:27,468
--ain't I clean now?
312
00:11:27,423 --> 00:11:28,456
Man, how we gonna eat?
313
00:11:28,417 --> 00:11:30,719
I don't know, nigga,
you in charge.
314
00:11:30,630 --> 00:11:32,933
HUEY: Take it off.
315
00:11:30,630 --> 00:11:32,933
Hey, raise up off my gear.
316
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,862
[♪♪♪]
317
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:41,316
RILEY:
I'm saying, you ain't have to ruin my shirt like that.
318
00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:43,282
I can't even pop
my collar no more.
319
00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:45,769
I gotta figure out
what we're gonna eat.
320
00:11:45,669 --> 00:11:48,637
Can't you just be happy to see
another nigger fitted up,
321
00:11:48,523 --> 00:11:50,725
looking dipped in butter,
shining and glistening?
322
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,808
We're gonna run out of food
in a few days.
323
00:11:52,724 --> 00:11:55,492
You supposed to be in charge.
You supposed to be the leader.
324
00:11:55,385 --> 00:11:58,654
Lead us to some breakfast then,
nigger. Nigger-- What?
325
00:11:58,528 --> 00:12:00,062
What, you want some,
nigger? Huh?
326
00:12:00,003 --> 00:12:02,437
All right, come on, nigger.
Let's go. I been waiting.
327
00:12:02,343 --> 00:12:04,745
No. I'm not gonna fight you.
I'm grounding you.
328
00:12:04,653 --> 00:12:06,888
Ground me?
What is this, Family Ties?
329
00:12:06,802 --> 00:12:08,436
Nigger,
you can't ground me.
330
00:12:08,373 --> 00:12:11,109
I just did.
Don't leave the house.
331
00:12:13,343 --> 00:12:15,077
This nigger must have lost it.
332
00:12:15,011 --> 00:12:17,446
I wanna know what this nigger
been smoking. Shoot.
333
00:12:17,352 --> 00:12:19,553
Talking about I'm grounded.
334
00:12:19,468 --> 00:12:22,636
I'm Young Reezy.
I goes where I wanna go.
335
00:12:22,513 --> 00:12:23,849
[♪♪♪]
336
00:12:26,201 --> 00:12:27,136
You're grounded.
337
00:12:28,735 --> 00:12:31,671
You better have eyes in the back
of your head, nigga.
338
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,193
[♪♪♪]
339
00:12:37,906 --> 00:12:40,274
Huey, where my guns?
340
00:12:37,906 --> 00:12:40,273
I confiscated them for security.
341
00:12:40,182 --> 00:12:41,883
I have supreme authority
over the house
342
00:12:41,818 --> 00:12:43,619
until Granddad comes back.
343
00:12:43,549 --> 00:12:46,018
You have supreme authority
over these nuts. I'm leaving.
344
00:12:45,923 --> 00:12:47,890
You wanna stop me,
you gonna have to shoot me--
345
00:12:47,815 --> 00:12:48,750
[YELPS]
346
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:52,677
Cristal costs how much?
347
00:12:52,624 --> 00:12:54,291
Oh, no, no.
You got any Thunderbird?
348
00:12:54,227 --> 00:12:55,695
I'll take Thunderbird.
349
00:12:55,639 --> 00:12:57,572
Oh, excuse you, little lady.
350
00:12:57,498 --> 00:13:00,801
Hey! That's my suit you just--
Went in my personal space.
351
00:13:00,673 --> 00:13:03,108
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
352
00:13:03,014 --> 00:13:05,215
Hey there, Huey.
Just me again. Ha, ha.
353
00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:07,365
Is, um, your Granddad around?
354
00:13:07,279 --> 00:13:09,046
He's still at the store,
Mr. DuBois.
355
00:13:08,978 --> 00:13:11,312
Still?
356
00:13:11,222 --> 00:13:13,391
Uh-huh? Oh, really?
357
00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:16,743
Okay.
I guess I'll just, um...
358
00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:17,777
Yeah.
359
00:13:17,732 --> 00:13:19,333
[CROWD CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY]
360
00:13:19,272 --> 00:13:23,174
MAN:
Man, I'm having the best time ever.
361
00:13:23,023 --> 00:13:27,160
Look at all
the Spanish women.
362
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,469
HUEY:
Riley made several more attempts to leave the house.
363
00:13:30,334 --> 00:13:32,737
Okay.
All right, here we go.
364
00:13:33,477 --> 00:13:34,643
[♪♪♪]
365
00:13:34,598 --> 00:13:36,934
What? Hey, hey, hey.
Quit playing, nigga.
366
00:13:36,844 --> 00:13:39,780
Huey. Huey, quit playing.
Quit it. Huey.
367
00:13:42,776 --> 00:13:45,880
Eventually, he had
to be forcibly restrained.
368
00:13:50,889 --> 00:13:51,824
Hey.
369
00:13:53,358 --> 00:13:55,294
[♪♪♪]
370
00:13:59,323 --> 00:14:02,392
I had no idea how we were gonna
last until Granddad came home.
371
00:14:02,273 --> 00:14:03,774
Assuming he ever came
back at all.
372
00:14:05,864 --> 00:14:08,199
He's probably having
the time of his life.
373
00:14:08,109 --> 00:14:11,311
MAN:
Oh, my God-- Oh, no. Don't take your top off.
374
00:14:11,187 --> 00:14:12,656
[MAN CHEERING]
375
00:14:16,349 --> 00:14:18,784
HUEY:
We ran out of food and drink.
376
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,292
I was forced to start rationing
what little we had left.
377
00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:22,559
More and more,
378
00:14:22,507 --> 00:14:25,276
I started to hate Riley
for driving Granddad away.
379
00:14:26,804 --> 00:14:30,606
MAN:
Get outta here. Go next door-- Psych. Come on in.
380
00:14:30,458 --> 00:14:32,593
Oh, it'll be great.
The more the merrier.
381
00:14:32,511 --> 00:14:34,045
HUEY:
He was always watching.
382
00:14:33,986 --> 00:14:36,020
Always waiting
for me to make a mistake.
383
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:38,944
I rarely slept.
384
00:14:38,828 --> 00:14:41,964
MAN:
Man, more women?
385
00:14:41,843 --> 00:14:43,010
[GIRLS GIGGLING]
386
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:45,000
[SCREAMING]
387
00:14:59,254 --> 00:15:02,125
HUEY:
I soon forgot which one of us was the prisoner.
388
00:15:05,058 --> 00:15:06,827
[GRUNTING]
389
00:15:08,746 --> 00:15:11,014
MAN:
More bitches. Hey, call me Mr. Bitches.
390
00:15:10,926 --> 00:15:13,362
[MAN LAUGHS]
391
00:15:16,153 --> 00:15:19,021
[PHONE RINGING]
392
00:15:18,911 --> 00:15:20,913
Hello?
393
00:15:18,911 --> 00:15:20,912
Hey, boy.
394
00:15:20,835 --> 00:15:23,137
Hey, Granddad.
Uh, how's the trip?
395
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,382
You ready to come home?
396
00:15:24,331 --> 00:15:26,098
Are you kidding?
I'm having a great time.
397
00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:27,097
Whoo! Heh-heh-heh.
398
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:28,623
Hey, little girl,
stop tickling me.
399
00:15:28,563 --> 00:15:29,863
I'm talking to my grandson.
400
00:15:29,813 --> 00:15:32,081
Doing it big.
So how's the house?
401
00:15:31,994 --> 00:15:34,395
Great.
We're fine, no problems.
402
00:15:34,302 --> 00:15:36,404
Okay,
guess there's no need of me
403
00:15:36,324 --> 00:15:37,924
rushing home early
or anything, huh?
404
00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:40,430
Which is great for me,
'cause I'm doing it big.
405
00:15:40,331 --> 00:15:42,966
So, what's new?
What you mad at this week?
406
00:15:42,864 --> 00:15:44,365
Hey, uh, Granddad,
I gotta go.
407
00:15:44,308 --> 00:15:46,075
MAN:
Wait, what's Spanish for breasts?
408
00:15:46,007 --> 00:15:47,910
[SIGHS]
409
00:15:46,007 --> 00:15:47,909
[MAN LAUGHS]
410
00:15:47,836 --> 00:15:49,069
[CRASHING]
411
00:15:49,022 --> 00:15:50,390
[RILEY WHINING]
412
00:15:52,997 --> 00:15:54,699
You going in the closet.
413
00:15:52,997 --> 00:15:54,698
Let me go!
414
00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:57,402
Hey! Hey, man,
let me out of here.
415
00:15:57,295 --> 00:16:00,231
Hey! I'm closet-phobic.
416
00:16:00,789 --> 00:16:01,724
[GRUNTS]
417
00:16:09,192 --> 00:16:10,392
[DOORBELL DINGING]
418
00:16:10,346 --> 00:16:11,379
I know where he is.
419
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:12,507
I'm not stupid.
420
00:16:12,462 --> 00:16:14,263
He went on the
"do it big" trip without me.
421
00:16:14,194 --> 00:16:16,095
He's off having
the time of his life.
422
00:16:16,022 --> 00:16:18,056
Granddad is running errands,
Mr. DuBois.
423
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,911
Barring an unforeseen
catastrophe,
424
00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:21,138
he'll be home soon.
425
00:16:21,088 --> 00:16:23,823
He better, 'cause I'm angry.
426
00:16:23,718 --> 00:16:25,753
You ready to come out?
427
00:16:27,245 --> 00:16:28,411
♪ Oh ♪
428
00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:30,367
[♪♪♪]
429
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,225
The gun--
430
00:16:41,802 --> 00:16:43,937
Say hello to the bad guy.
431
00:16:43,855 --> 00:16:45,390
[RILEY CACKLES]
432
00:16:46,516 --> 00:16:48,650
Damn you, Riley.
You've ruined our family.
433
00:16:48,568 --> 00:16:51,137
You drove Granddad away.
Now he's never coming back.
434
00:16:51,038 --> 00:16:52,572
Granddad left 'cause of you.
435
00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:53,779
Nobody likes you, Huey,
436
00:16:53,731 --> 00:16:57,034
'cause you a gay-ass,
hater, faggy boy.
437
00:16:56,906 --> 00:16:58,306
[RILEY CACKLES]
438
00:16:58,252 --> 00:16:59,187
[BB SHOTS]
439
00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:07,422
[YELLING, GRUNTING]
440
00:17:10,278 --> 00:17:12,279
Okay, I'm reloaded!
441
00:17:12,202 --> 00:17:13,570
[RILEY CACKLES]
442
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:18,333
How you like that, fool?
443
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:21,474
[YELLS]
444
00:17:23,393 --> 00:17:24,593
♪ Hey ♪
445
00:17:24,547 --> 00:17:25,914
♪ Hey ♪
446
00:17:25,862 --> 00:17:27,263
♪ Hey ♪
447
00:17:27,209 --> 00:17:28,442
♪ Hey ♪
448
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:29,562
♪ Hey ♪
449
00:17:29,518 --> 00:17:31,119
♪ Hey ♪
450
00:17:31,057 --> 00:17:33,759
♪ Hey ♪
451
00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:36,622
Why does it always have
to end up like this?
452
00:17:36,507 --> 00:17:38,610
'Cause you's a bitch.
453
00:17:40,356 --> 00:17:41,790
Don't do it.
454
00:17:41,735 --> 00:17:42,868
♪ Hey ♪
455
00:17:42,825 --> 00:17:44,993
[BOTH GRUNT]
456
00:17:44,909 --> 00:17:46,344
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
457
00:17:48,853 --> 00:17:50,288
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
458
00:17:51,259 --> 00:17:52,594
[BRAKES SCREECH]
459
00:17:55,170 --> 00:17:56,471
[SIGHS]
460
00:17:56,422 --> 00:17:59,323
Thank you, Jesus.
461
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:01,279
Robert!
462
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,802
Why? What did I do? I'm fun!
463
00:18:04,662 --> 00:18:06,329
Why does everyone think
I'm not fun?
464
00:18:06,265 --> 00:18:08,232
Why am I always
the one getting ditched?
465
00:18:08,157 --> 00:18:09,891
[SOBBING]
466
00:18:09,824 --> 00:18:11,593
I don't know
why I'm not cool.
467
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:13,792
Tom, you think I went
all the way to Costa Rica
468
00:18:13,705 --> 00:18:14,838
and back in two days?
469
00:18:14,795 --> 00:18:16,730
Then w-where were you?
470
00:18:16,655 --> 00:18:17,955
None of your damn business.
471
00:18:17,905 --> 00:18:20,106
We'll do the "do it big" trip
some other time.
472
00:18:20,022 --> 00:18:22,624
Oh, okay. Ahem. Cool.
473
00:18:22,523 --> 00:18:23,589
[CHUCKLES]
474
00:18:23,549 --> 00:18:25,551
Oh, by the way, Robert,
I, um--
475
00:18:25,474 --> 00:18:27,341
I left some,
um, joke voicemails
476
00:18:27,269 --> 00:18:29,404
that you can just, um--
Heh.
477
00:18:29,321 --> 00:18:31,290
--go ahead and delete. Ha, ha.
478
00:18:36,472 --> 00:18:39,710
[BOTH GROANING]
479
00:18:36,472 --> 00:18:39,709
Boys!
480
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:41,484
Granddad!
481
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:41,483
Granddad.
482
00:18:41,410 --> 00:18:44,178
Heh-heh-heh, hey!
Give me a hug.
483
00:18:44,071 --> 00:18:45,573
You came home.
484
00:18:44,071 --> 00:18:45,572
You home early.
485
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:48,685
'Cause I figured y'all was
destroying my house. Hm.
486
00:18:50,998 --> 00:18:51,967
Doesn't look too bad.
487
00:18:53,179 --> 00:18:54,378
[DOOR SHUTS]
488
00:18:54,332 --> 00:18:55,633
How was Costa Rica?
489
00:18:55,584 --> 00:18:56,884
Did you do it big?
490
00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,935
[CHUCKLES]
491
00:18:58,854 --> 00:19:02,357
Shoot, you betcha.
Mr. Bitches is back in effect.
492
00:19:02,221 --> 00:19:04,289
Heh-heh. Uh, you--
You should have seen it.
493
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,177
Phew.
494
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:08,236
They couldn't handle it.
495
00:19:08,154 --> 00:19:09,723
It sure is good
to be home, though.
496
00:19:13,189 --> 00:19:15,657
Let's clean this up.
497
00:19:13,189 --> 00:19:15,656
All right.
498
00:19:15,561 --> 00:19:17,663
GRANDDAD [ON MACHINE]:
You've reached Robert--
499
00:19:17,582 --> 00:19:19,149
WOMAN:
Please enter your password.
500
00:19:19,088 --> 00:19:21,322
You have 22 unheard messages.
First message:
501
00:19:21,236 --> 00:19:24,005
RUCKUS:
Robert. Them little niggers are evil. It was terrible.
502
00:19:23,898 --> 00:19:25,398
Oh, all the things
that they done--
503
00:19:25,341 --> 00:19:26,375
WOMAN:
Deleted.
504
00:19:26,336 --> 00:19:29,671
TOM:
Hey, Robert. This is Tom.
505
00:19:29,542 --> 00:19:32,845
Found out some great stuff
about Costa Rica. Ha, ha.
506
00:19:32,717 --> 00:19:33,817
Call me back.
507
00:19:33,775 --> 00:19:35,209
WOMAN:
Deleted.
508
00:19:35,154 --> 00:19:38,088
TOM:
Robert, it's Big Tom. Holler back!
509
00:19:37,975 --> 00:19:39,343
Heh-heh-heh. Time to--
510
00:19:39,290 --> 00:19:40,490
WOMAN:
Deleted.
511
00:19:40,444 --> 00:19:42,045
TOM: Hey, Robert--
512
00:19:40,444 --> 00:19:42,044
WOMAN: Deleted.
513
00:19:41,983 --> 00:19:44,152
TOM:
What the hell, Robert? Did you go without me?
514
00:19:44,069 --> 00:19:45,969
You went without me.
I know you went. You did.
515
00:19:45,895 --> 00:19:47,797
You did not go without me--
516
00:19:45,895 --> 00:19:47,796
WOMAN: Deleted.
517
00:19:47,723 --> 00:19:50,091
TOM:
That's real nice, Robert. That's real fucking--
518
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,100
WOMAN:
Deleted.
519
00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:41,206
[♪♪♪]
520
00:20:41,256 --> 00:20:45,806
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