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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:31,672 It's so hard 2 00:00:31,756 --> 00:00:34,634 to turn your life over 3 00:00:38,565 --> 00:00:40,037 step out 4 00:00:40,102 --> 00:00:42,947 of your comfort zone 5 00:00:47,442 --> 00:00:50,832 is this some kind of a joke? 6 00:00:50,980 --> 00:00:55,267 will someone wake me up soon? 7 00:00:55,453 --> 00:01:00,954 and tell me this was just a game we play 8 00:01:01,192 --> 00:01:04,038 called life 9 00:01:09,766 --> 00:01:11,493 Ready? 10 00:01:11,569 --> 00:01:14,575 One, two... 11 00:01:14,706 --> 00:01:16,783 - Don't count. - Right, sorry. 12 00:01:16,874 --> 00:01:18,887 - Ready? - Paul! 13 00:01:20,109 --> 00:01:21,900 - Ow! - Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 14 00:01:21,979 --> 00:01:25,016 I'm just kinda poppin' my injection cherry here. 15 00:01:25,148 --> 00:01:27,546 I promise I will get better at this. 16 00:01:27,651 --> 00:01:29,056 I just can't bring myself 17 00:01:29,118 --> 00:01:31,677 to intentionally puncture myself. 18 00:01:31,789 --> 00:01:33,739 I'd make a crappy heroin addict. 19 00:01:33,825 --> 00:01:35,103 Hey, I wonder if this stuff is gonna 20 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,974 give you the ability to lift fallen trees, 21 00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:39,568 or bend metal bars and stuff. 22 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,326 No, they're not that kind of steroids, Paul. 23 00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:44,984 They prevent side effects. 24 00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:46,610 What is this? 25 00:01:46,675 --> 00:01:49,905 Just a little pleasure to offset the pain. 26 00:01:55,351 --> 00:01:57,014 The Best of Chicago. 27 00:01:57,087 --> 00:01:59,710 - The soundtrack of our love. - Thank you. 28 00:01:59,825 --> 00:02:01,646 Not just for the CD. 29 00:02:01,726 --> 00:02:03,932 But for everything you're doing. 30 00:02:04,029 --> 00:02:08,443 You know, the shots and the setting the appointments 31 00:02:08,635 --> 00:02:10,585 and just always looking out for me. 32 00:02:10,670 --> 00:02:12,813 Hey, I'm your cancierge, remember? 33 00:02:16,544 --> 00:02:19,455 Mm. 34 00:02:19,582 --> 00:02:22,715 I know-- I know we haven't... 35 00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:24,098 You know, done it in a while. 36 00:02:24,153 --> 00:02:26,647 And I--I just hope that's okay. 37 00:02:26,756 --> 00:02:28,226 Of course! 38 00:02:28,292 --> 00:02:30,401 My body's just pretty spent right now. 39 00:02:30,493 --> 00:02:32,475 Oh, honey, don't even think about that. 40 00:02:32,562 --> 00:02:35,311 We have got a full plate right now. 41 00:02:35,431 --> 00:02:37,636 A full plate, you know? 42 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:41,187 Melanoma with a side of steroids? 43 00:02:41,338 --> 00:02:43,351 - You sure? - Absolutely. 44 00:02:43,439 --> 00:02:45,485 We got this clinical trial coming up 45 00:02:45,575 --> 00:02:47,269 and my work's insane. 46 00:02:47,344 --> 00:02:49,389 Cath, we're not kids anymore. 47 00:02:49,479 --> 00:02:52,358 Trust me, I don't miss it. 48 00:03:02,292 --> 00:03:03,987 Contrary to popular belief, 49 00:03:04,062 --> 00:03:06,076 our country is not a democracy. 50 00:03:06,164 --> 00:03:07,730 Technically, it's a republic. 51 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,622 So I want two pages 52 00:03:09,702 --> 00:03:11,172 from everybody tomorrow 53 00:03:11,237 --> 00:03:12,803 explaining the difference between the two. 54 00:03:12,872 --> 00:03:15,685 And I'm onto your Wikipedia plagiarism. 55 00:03:15,808 --> 00:03:19,517 So be original or find a more clever way to cheat. 56 00:03:19,679 --> 00:03:22,109 Okay, don't freak out. 57 00:03:22,215 --> 00:03:24,229 Andrea, telling people not to freak out 58 00:03:24,317 --> 00:03:25,754 is not a great way to put people at ease. 59 00:03:25,818 --> 00:03:28,504 - What's going on? - My parents got called 60 00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:30,636 by our church to do missionary work... 61 00:03:30,724 --> 00:03:33,025 In Ghana. 62 00:03:33,126 --> 00:03:34,533 We leave next week. 63 00:03:36,562 --> 00:03:38,129 We're gonna spread the word 64 00:03:38,199 --> 00:03:40,148 like the fucking mosquitoes spread malaria. 65 00:03:40,234 --> 00:03:41,800 But it's your senior year! 66 00:03:41,869 --> 00:03:43,050 Tell me about it. 67 00:03:43,103 --> 00:03:45,565 Not only can I not graduate with my class, 68 00:03:45,672 --> 00:03:47,013 but if I finish school there, 69 00:03:47,073 --> 00:03:48,480 I can't get in-state tuition 70 00:03:48,542 --> 00:03:50,428 to go to the University of Minnesota. 71 00:03:50,512 --> 00:03:54,350 It's...good to hear you have your eye on college. 72 00:03:54,516 --> 00:03:58,001 They have this fashion program I was all excited about. 73 00:03:58,153 --> 00:03:59,879 Why haven't I heard of this before? 74 00:03:59,955 --> 00:04:01,170 Maybe I was just trying to keep 75 00:04:01,224 --> 00:04:02,662 a little mystery in our friendship. 76 00:04:02,726 --> 00:04:05,572 I am so sorry. 77 00:04:05,696 --> 00:04:09,022 I--I wish there was something I could do. 78 00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:11,085 It's all right. 79 00:04:12,704 --> 00:04:15,391 I hear it's really easy to get dysentery in Ghana. 80 00:04:15,508 --> 00:04:18,194 Maybe I'll eat some bad goat 81 00:04:18,312 --> 00:04:19,782 and get really skinny 82 00:04:19,847 --> 00:04:23,206 and then come back and get a job as a supermodel. 83 00:04:26,453 --> 00:04:28,501 Now, I hate the pink color in here 84 00:04:28,591 --> 00:04:29,932 and the closet is packed 85 00:04:29,991 --> 00:04:32,101 with misguided late-night purchases. 86 00:04:32,194 --> 00:04:34,911 But... The room is all yours. 87 00:04:35,030 --> 00:04:36,756 I appreciate this, Mrs. Jamison. 88 00:04:36,832 --> 00:04:38,206 Please. 89 00:04:38,266 --> 00:04:39,416 The nice thing about cancer, 90 00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:40,969 if it feels right, you just do it. 91 00:04:41,036 --> 00:04:42,762 I'll make sure my parents build a hut 92 00:04:42,838 --> 00:04:44,787 made out of cow dung in your honor. 93 00:04:44,873 --> 00:04:46,758 I had a really nice chat with your mom. 94 00:04:46,841 --> 00:04:49,719 I promised her I would not let you dye your hair blonde 95 00:04:49,844 --> 00:04:51,730 and that you would keep your grades up. 96 00:04:51,814 --> 00:04:53,572 We've gotta get you into fashion school, young lady. 97 00:04:53,649 --> 00:04:54,990 What do you got in here? 98 00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:57,928 Some of your favorite rocks from home? 99 00:04:58,053 --> 00:04:59,364 Mr. Jamison, 100 00:04:59,423 --> 00:05:00,957 heavy girl has heavy clothes. 101 00:05:02,192 --> 00:05:03,470 It's a joke. 102 00:05:03,527 --> 00:05:05,478 I'm cool with jokes about my weight. 103 00:05:05,563 --> 00:05:08,120 It's the elephant in the room. 104 00:05:08,232 --> 00:05:10,439 - That's a joke too. - Nice one. 105 00:05:10,536 --> 00:05:12,230 I'm gonna go get the rest of your stuff. 106 00:05:13,905 --> 00:05:16,849 So, you're, um-- so your parents were assigned 107 00:05:16,977 --> 00:05:19,630 to some sort of missionary position? 108 00:05:19,746 --> 00:05:22,017 Missionary work in Ghana? 109 00:05:22,117 --> 00:05:23,554 Wow, that's a long way away. 110 00:05:23,617 --> 00:05:25,343 I bet you weren't a big fan of me moving in. 111 00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:27,115 Why would you say that? 112 00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:30,324 Look, there might've been a little bit of hesitation 113 00:05:30,392 --> 00:05:31,830 when it first came up, 114 00:05:31,894 --> 00:05:33,299 but that's only 'cause we got a lot going on here. 115 00:05:33,362 --> 00:05:35,568 You know, doctor's appointments and stuff like that. 116 00:05:35,664 --> 00:05:37,837 Or maybe you didn't want me here 'cause I'm black? 117 00:05:37,933 --> 00:05:39,722 What? That's ridiculous. 118 00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:41,399 Wh-wh-why would you say that? 119 00:05:41,468 --> 00:05:44,059 I'm just fucking with you, Mr. J. 120 00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:49,922 Nice. 121 00:05:50,077 --> 00:05:51,355 Well-played, young Jester. 122 00:05:55,349 --> 00:05:57,652 Good morning, Yin to my Yang. 123 00:05:57,753 --> 00:05:59,127 Ketchup to my mustard. 124 00:05:59,188 --> 00:06:00,594 Hall to your Oates. 125 00:06:00,657 --> 00:06:01,871 Nice. 126 00:06:01,925 --> 00:06:05,153 These are for you. 127 00:06:05,294 --> 00:06:07,149 - Oh! - Honeycrisps. 128 00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:08,699 The old guy down the street told me 129 00:06:08,765 --> 00:06:10,907 I could help myself to his apple tree. 130 00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:12,758 You know, it's amazing what you get when your first reaction 131 00:06:12,835 --> 00:06:14,241 to someone saying "Good morning," 132 00:06:14,304 --> 00:06:15,742 isn't "Fuck off, asshole." 133 00:06:15,805 --> 00:06:17,498 So the meds are working? 134 00:06:17,573 --> 00:06:19,715 They are. 135 00:06:19,809 --> 00:06:22,749 Maybe they're cutting these new bipolar drugs 136 00:06:22,877 --> 00:06:24,091 with fairy dust or something. 137 00:06:24,146 --> 00:06:27,024 Because I-- I feel fantastic. 138 00:06:27,149 --> 00:06:30,059 It's like I have this incredible ability 139 00:06:30,186 --> 00:06:33,032 to focus on everything. 140 00:06:33,156 --> 00:06:36,227 Best of all, it's like a fog has been lifted 141 00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:38,279 and I am really seeing you. 142 00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:42,586 I'm appreciating you on an entirely new level. 143 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,143 Say more. 144 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,801 I love how your hair 145 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:48,335 is the perfect shade of honey blonde... 146 00:06:48,443 --> 00:06:52,088 How your eyes reflect the light like a kaleidoscope... 147 00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:54,388 How the contour of your lower back 148 00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:57,520 is like a finely paved expressway to your ass. 149 00:06:57,653 --> 00:06:59,027 Wow! 150 00:06:59,088 --> 00:07:02,508 I was leery about what these meds would do to you, 151 00:07:02,657 --> 00:07:05,055 but if this is the result, I love it. 152 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,854 Mm. 153 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,775 Let me--let me see what else I can discover. 154 00:07:16,939 --> 00:07:19,465 Oh! 155 00:07:19,575 --> 00:07:22,326 Oh. 156 00:07:22,446 --> 00:07:23,500 Oh! 157 00:07:27,484 --> 00:07:29,307 So you had a chance to leave the country, 158 00:07:29,388 --> 00:07:30,986 but instead you chose to serve time 159 00:07:31,056 --> 00:07:32,429 in Jamison State Prison? 160 00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:34,023 And I'm loyal to the warden. 161 00:07:34,091 --> 00:07:35,497 So watch your mouth unless you wanna 162 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,126 catch a shank in the back during yard. 163 00:07:38,429 --> 00:07:39,740 What is all this shit? 164 00:07:39,798 --> 00:07:41,332 You rob a salon or you gonna open one up? 165 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,902 This is my toilette. 166 00:07:42,969 --> 00:07:44,471 The toilet is down the hall, 167 00:07:44,537 --> 00:07:46,519 - next to the "bath-tube." - No, dumb ass. 168 00:07:46,606 --> 00:07:50,123 Toilette is French for the things that I do 169 00:07:50,277 --> 00:07:53,122 to compose the vision of beauty that you see before you. 170 00:07:54,781 --> 00:07:57,499 Heat-style protecting foam? 171 00:07:57,618 --> 00:07:58,671 Oh, yeah, that's for my hair. 172 00:07:58,718 --> 00:08:00,092 Look. 173 00:08:00,153 --> 00:08:02,839 It's got these tiny organisms in it that repair it. 174 00:08:02,956 --> 00:08:04,362 If you look close enough you can see them. 175 00:08:04,425 --> 00:08:05,734 They kinda look like sea monkeys. 176 00:08:07,059 --> 00:08:09,554 Oh, you suck! 177 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:13,517 You're dead, asshole! 178 00:08:16,304 --> 00:08:18,734 Oh, nice to see you with a smile on your face. 179 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,845 I just love seeing Adam and Andrea get along so well. 180 00:08:21,976 --> 00:08:24,662 Thank you for agreeing to let her move in. 181 00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:25,962 Oh, come on, how could I not? 182 00:08:26,014 --> 00:08:27,580 You made such a compelling argument. 183 00:08:27,649 --> 00:08:29,184 What was it again? Oh, yeah. 184 00:08:29,252 --> 00:08:30,914 - "We're doing this!" - It's good for Adam 185 00:08:30,986 --> 00:08:33,000 to have another kid in the house. 186 00:08:33,089 --> 00:08:35,615 Especially with all this clinical trial stuff going on. 187 00:08:35,725 --> 00:08:37,451 He'll have someone to hang out with, 188 00:08:37,527 --> 00:08:39,093 someone to talk to. 189 00:08:39,163 --> 00:08:41,624 Well, I hope Andrea likes talking about farts. 190 00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:43,457 Here, try this. 191 00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:46,475 This is broccoli, garlic, olive oil, and turmeric. 192 00:08:46,604 --> 00:08:49,482 A superfood perfect storm for health. 193 00:08:51,776 --> 00:08:53,567 Needs more chocolate. 194 00:08:53,646 --> 00:08:55,244 Mm. 195 00:08:55,314 --> 00:08:58,095 Your skin is so smooth. 196 00:08:58,216 --> 00:08:59,815 It's like soft-serve ice cream. 197 00:08:59,885 --> 00:09:03,402 I just wanna cover it in sprinkles 198 00:09:03,555 --> 00:09:04,897 and put my face in it. 199 00:09:04,957 --> 00:09:06,747 Compliments after sex? 200 00:09:06,826 --> 00:09:09,096 I am tempted to double your meds 201 00:09:09,196 --> 00:09:11,241 and carry you around in my purse. 202 00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:14,976 God, you have perfect breasts. 203 00:09:15,135 --> 00:09:18,364 They're pouty, yet pert. 204 00:09:18,504 --> 00:09:21,670 And delightful little raspberry nipples. 205 00:09:21,808 --> 00:09:24,046 Oh, look. Check it out. 206 00:09:24,144 --> 00:09:27,053 You have hairs on your nipple. 207 00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:29,994 - No, I don't. - Don't get sensitive. 208 00:09:30,117 --> 00:09:32,868 - I love your "hairy-ola." - That's not funny, Sean. 209 00:09:32,988 --> 00:09:35,097 It's the God damn pregnancy hormones. 210 00:09:35,189 --> 00:09:36,628 They're turning me into a fucking Sasquatch. 211 00:09:36,692 --> 00:09:38,226 Oh, it's just a couple of little hairs. 212 00:09:38,294 --> 00:09:40,692 It's cute. It's not at all Sasquatch-y. 213 00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:43,260 I should've known that there would be a downside 214 00:09:43,368 --> 00:09:45,381 to your drug-induced micro-vision. 215 00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:47,132 That this fawning and attention 216 00:09:47,205 --> 00:09:49,155 would come back and bite me in the ass. 217 00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:51,222 Where you have very cute dimples, by the way. 218 00:09:51,309 --> 00:09:54,123 Okay, I get it, Sean. I'm Quasi-fucking-modo. 219 00:09:54,246 --> 00:09:55,523 - Thanks so much. - What? Wait! 220 00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:57,114 Rebecca! 221 00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,267 Jesus. 222 00:10:01,319 --> 00:10:02,693 If you likin' how the beat bang you should get up 223 00:10:02,754 --> 00:10:05,088 if you likin' how the beat bang, hey 224 00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:07,811 if you likin' how the beat bang, hey 225 00:10:07,926 --> 00:10:10,771 uh, yeah, uh 226 00:10:10,895 --> 00:10:12,431 if you likin' how the beat bang 227 00:10:12,499 --> 00:10:13,969 you should get up 228 00:10:14,034 --> 00:10:16,207 you can bump it in your whip or if you up in the club 229 00:10:16,302 --> 00:10:19,020 if you stuntin' by the bar then pop a bottle of bub 230 00:10:19,139 --> 00:10:21,793 and get up, get up, get up, hey 231 00:10:21,909 --> 00:10:24,628 and all my people put your bs up we livin' it up 232 00:10:24,747 --> 00:10:27,401 spending money like its nothing we ain't giving a what 233 00:10:27,517 --> 00:10:29,980 if you stuntin' by the bar then pop a bottle of bub 234 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,901 and get up, get up, get up, hey 235 00:10:33,024 --> 00:10:35,390 step in the club and everybody put their hands up 236 00:10:35,492 --> 00:10:36,963 I'm crossing over 237 00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,626 - What the fuck? - Like iverson the answer 238 00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:40,519 talking on the streets like how real is truth 239 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,604 well, I'm guessing half a mill for the deal is probably proof 240 00:10:43,736 --> 00:10:46,486 and we be on roof in the leer jets and coupes 241 00:10:46,606 --> 00:10:49,196 and young big ready to die screaming "Gimme the loot" 242 00:10:49,309 --> 00:10:51,868 they ask me, "Truthy, how you get all your cheese?" 243 00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:54,761 I spent double y'all salaries on lawyer fees 244 00:10:54,882 --> 00:10:57,600 I got security, I'm maturing, but 245 00:10:57,719 --> 00:10:59,733 I'm tryin' to have stocks come into maturity 246 00:10:59,822 --> 00:11:01,548 now get up 247 00:11:01,624 --> 00:11:03,702 if you likin' how the beat bang you should get up 248 00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:06,319 you can bump it in your whip or if you up in the club 249 00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:09,148 if you stuntin by the bar then pop a bottle of bub 250 00:11:09,266 --> 00:11:11,823 and get up, get up, get up, hey 251 00:11:11,935 --> 00:11:13,085 What are you doing here? 252 00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:14,670 - I'm taking a bath. - Well, get out! 253 00:11:14,738 --> 00:11:16,880 Get out. Get out of here! 254 00:11:16,974 --> 00:11:18,764 Oh, hell no! 255 00:11:18,842 --> 00:11:20,855 No. No, no, no, that's not-- 256 00:11:20,944 --> 00:11:22,734 who I was-- No, no, no, that's not-- 257 00:11:22,813 --> 00:11:25,051 that's not who I was-- Oh, shit. 258 00:11:29,285 --> 00:11:31,076 What's going on? 259 00:11:31,155 --> 00:11:33,410 I heard screaming. 260 00:11:34,091 --> 00:11:37,291 Andrea has... Saw me masturbating. 261 00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,272 What? 262 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,636 I didn't know she was lurking the bathroom. 263 00:11:42,737 --> 00:11:46,063 For a big girl, she's stealthy as a fucking puma. 264 00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:49,150 Jesus! Paul! 265 00:11:49,278 --> 00:11:51,771 We invite a teenage girl into our home 266 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,254 and within 24 hours, 267 00:11:53,315 --> 00:11:55,458 you're pleasuring yourself in front of her? 268 00:11:55,551 --> 00:11:57,149 She walked in on me! 269 00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:59,105 I to you it was a bad idea to have her move in here. 270 00:11:59,188 --> 00:12:00,242 Hey, wait a minute. 271 00:12:00,289 --> 00:12:02,143 Why did you tell me last night then 272 00:12:02,224 --> 00:12:03,503 that sex wasn't important to you? 273 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:04,614 That you weren't missing it? 274 00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:06,450 And now here you are, 24 hours later, 275 00:12:06,529 --> 00:12:09,182 you're beating off to a catalogue! 276 00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:11,888 I'm sorry, Cathy. I lied. 277 00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:13,311 I miss sex. 278 00:12:13,370 --> 00:12:14,904 Okay, and I'm working really hard here 279 00:12:14,972 --> 00:12:15,978 to take care of you. 280 00:12:16,141 --> 00:12:18,281 And I do not wanna be the guy who forces himself 281 00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:20,484 on his wife while she's undergoing cancer treatment. 282 00:12:20,576 --> 00:12:23,582 Do you have any idea how much I hate being the patient? 283 00:12:23,713 --> 00:12:26,654 I want to feel like having sex. 284 00:12:26,783 --> 00:12:28,798 My body will not let me. 285 00:12:28,886 --> 00:12:30,964 Well, that's funny, 'cause when you did wanna have sex, 286 00:12:31,056 --> 00:12:32,462 you're having sex with somebody else. 287 00:12:32,523 --> 00:12:33,833 Oh, that's what this is about. 288 00:12:33,891 --> 00:12:35,938 Sex in the backyard, sex in the Bahamas, 289 00:12:36,028 --> 00:12:38,010 sex God-knows-where-else with that guy. 290 00:12:38,097 --> 00:12:40,079 Lenny got the best of you. 291 00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:42,148 We both had affairs, Paul! 292 00:12:42,236 --> 00:12:44,026 We can't undo any of it. 293 00:12:44,105 --> 00:12:45,895 I wish I had a time machine. 294 00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,442 Because I wouldn't go back two months, 295 00:12:47,508 --> 00:12:50,483 I'd go back 20 years and slather on more sun block. 296 00:12:50,612 --> 00:12:53,105 What's done is done. 297 00:12:53,215 --> 00:12:55,261 So we can either--we can keep fighting about this 298 00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:58,899 or we can figure out a way to move on. 299 00:12:59,054 --> 00:13:01,036 Well, how do you propose we do that? 300 00:13:02,689 --> 00:13:05,120 Let's have sex right now. 301 00:13:05,227 --> 00:13:06,824 - What are you doing? - I'm moving on. 302 00:13:06,895 --> 00:13:09,741 We're gonna cleanse the palate of our affairs. 303 00:13:09,865 --> 00:13:11,528 Come on, Paul. Come on, do me. 304 00:13:11,601 --> 00:13:15,247 Come on, it's gonna be great. 305 00:13:15,406 --> 00:13:17,452 This isn't sexy. It's aggressive and weird. 306 00:13:17,542 --> 00:13:20,356 Great. I'm gonna go make a sandwich. 307 00:13:28,788 --> 00:13:31,250 Oh, yay. My dad got tickets 308 00:13:31,357 --> 00:13:33,690 to the James Taylor concert. 309 00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:37,407 I don't even know who that is. 310 00:13:37,564 --> 00:13:40,026 "You're the best, dad." 311 00:13:40,134 --> 00:13:41,667 Ass clown. 312 00:13:43,602 --> 00:13:46,064 Hey. 313 00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:47,194 Hey, you there? 314 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,119 Yeah. 315 00:13:51,578 --> 00:13:54,969 All this stuff with your mom... 316 00:13:55,116 --> 00:13:57,066 Sucks. 317 00:13:57,152 --> 00:13:59,998 Kinda is what it is, you know? 318 00:14:16,709 --> 00:14:20,034 Did you just use my sympathy about your mom 319 00:14:20,179 --> 00:14:21,874 to make a move on me? 320 00:14:21,949 --> 00:14:24,218 I thought I had a shot. 321 00:14:25,784 --> 00:14:27,223 I like you, Adam. 322 00:14:27,287 --> 00:14:28,724 I like you, too. 323 00:14:32,524 --> 00:14:35,020 All right... 324 00:14:35,129 --> 00:14:39,287 I've rushed into doing it before 325 00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:41,065 and it's kinda ruined stuff. 326 00:14:41,135 --> 00:14:43,437 I don't want that to happen with us. 327 00:14:43,538 --> 00:14:46,319 Is that cool? 328 00:14:46,441 --> 00:14:47,975 Yeah. 329 00:14:48,042 --> 00:14:49,288 Yeah, totally. 330 00:14:59,888 --> 00:15:00,942 Andrea, can I come in? 331 00:15:04,091 --> 00:15:07,385 I wanted to talk to you about earlier... 332 00:15:07,528 --> 00:15:10,183 Uh, with Paul. 333 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,410 He was... 334 00:15:12,502 --> 00:15:13,844 I don't think this is something-- 335 00:15:13,904 --> 00:15:15,374 You know, Mrs. Jamison, 336 00:15:15,439 --> 00:15:17,773 was it weird and awkward for me to walk in 337 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,505 on your husband burping his baby? 338 00:15:19,577 --> 00:15:21,078 Definitely. 339 00:15:21,145 --> 00:15:22,680 But I grew up with three brothers 340 00:15:22,748 --> 00:15:24,794 and those fools always have their hands in their junk. 341 00:15:24,884 --> 00:15:26,322 So it's nothing I haven't seen before. 342 00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:30,475 I--I want you to feel safe here. 343 00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:32,317 Like this can be a home to you. 344 00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:35,781 I wanted this to be a more seamless transition, 345 00:15:35,928 --> 00:15:38,422 but...so much for that. 346 00:15:38,531 --> 00:15:40,673 You ain't kidding. I've been here for half a day 347 00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:42,012 and I've already seen your husband's penis 348 00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:44,274 and I found a syringe in the bathroom. 349 00:15:44,371 --> 00:15:45,520 The syringe! 350 00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:48,449 The syringe is for the clinical trial 351 00:15:48,575 --> 00:15:50,909 for my steroid injections. No, no. 352 00:15:51,011 --> 00:15:52,097 No, I hate them. 353 00:15:52,145 --> 00:15:53,232 Oh. 354 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,358 My granny hated her Insulin shots, too. 355 00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:56,824 She used to give me a dollar if I could 356 00:15:56,885 --> 00:15:58,387 give them to her without her feeling it. 357 00:15:58,453 --> 00:16:01,107 And I took a lot of money off that old lady. 358 00:16:01,223 --> 00:16:03,013 I could do yours for you too. 359 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,298 Andrea, you're my student and my houseguest, 360 00:16:05,395 --> 00:16:06,930 not my nurse. 361 00:16:06,998 --> 00:16:09,396 Does all this cancer stuff scare you? 362 00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:13,076 Scared shitless. 363 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,339 Scared of being in this clinical trial, 364 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:19,032 scared of the side effects. 365 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,299 Scared it won't work and if it doesn't, then what? 366 00:16:22,817 --> 00:16:24,671 I mean, what if there isn't another option for me? 367 00:16:24,753 --> 00:16:26,895 So yeah. 368 00:16:26,989 --> 00:16:30,346 It's a whole world of scared. 369 00:16:30,492 --> 00:16:32,763 Well, I for one think you're a pretty brave bitch. 370 00:16:35,932 --> 00:16:38,458 It's a sex shop, what did you expect? 371 00:16:38,568 --> 00:16:40,070 I don't even know what the appeal 372 00:16:40,137 --> 00:16:41,607 of something like this is. 373 00:16:41,672 --> 00:16:43,750 I dated a guy who was into S&M 374 00:16:43,841 --> 00:16:45,599 and his safe word was "more." 375 00:16:45,677 --> 00:16:48,417 It was very confusing. 376 00:16:48,655 --> 00:16:52,740 Medical science needs to come up with a baby bjorn-type item 377 00:16:52,917 --> 00:16:54,322 that allows you to wear your fetus 378 00:16:54,384 --> 00:16:56,047 on the outside of your body. 379 00:16:56,121 --> 00:16:58,358 That way you could walk around with it all day 380 00:16:58,456 --> 00:17:01,718 and undock when you wanna put on a sexy dress 381 00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:04,706 or spend half an hour on a spin bike. 382 00:17:04,830 --> 00:17:07,036 I felt sexy when I was pregnant. 383 00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:08,603 Women say that. 384 00:17:08,668 --> 00:17:10,905 But so far, I've already gained six pounds 385 00:17:11,003 --> 00:17:12,665 and it's all right here. 386 00:17:12,738 --> 00:17:15,073 I think you look great, Rebecca. 387 00:17:15,174 --> 00:17:17,765 Sean is making me real self-conscious. 388 00:17:17,877 --> 00:17:20,787 He's all level and focused now. 389 00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,704 But unfortunately, what he's focused on 390 00:17:22,783 --> 00:17:25,085 is every one of my flaws. 391 00:17:25,186 --> 00:17:28,096 I've always counted on my rock-hard abs and ass 392 00:17:28,223 --> 00:17:29,694 and now they're gone, 393 00:17:29,759 --> 00:17:32,284 so I'm resorting to a little sleight of hand. 394 00:17:32,395 --> 00:17:34,633 The last thing I want is to become 395 00:17:34,731 --> 00:17:36,521 one of those women who think it's okay 396 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,702 to start wearing tankinis and wide-bottom briefs. 397 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,762 You like him. 398 00:17:44,181 --> 00:17:46,510 You care what he thinks! 399 00:17:46,612 --> 00:17:49,288 - Stop it! - You like your baby daddy. 400 00:17:49,706 --> 00:17:52,752 How often do you and Paul do it? 401 00:17:52,885 --> 00:17:58,580 Honestly, we haven't had sex in about two months. 402 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,001 Jesus, you're not dead yet. 403 00:18:01,096 --> 00:18:05,253 You have to do something to jumpstart your sex life. 404 00:18:05,433 --> 00:18:06,999 Mix it up. 405 00:18:07,069 --> 00:18:09,115 Otherwise, you and Paul are gonna end up 406 00:18:09,205 --> 00:18:11,218 sitting around like a couple of old eunuchs, 407 00:18:11,306 --> 00:18:14,312 eating grape-nuts and shaving each other's calluses. 408 00:18:14,443 --> 00:18:16,393 Take me away Take me away 409 00:18:16,478 --> 00:18:19,099 take me away Take me away 410 00:18:19,214 --> 00:18:20,940 take me away Take me away 411 00:18:37,698 --> 00:18:40,833 I love it. I'm digging the teenage rage. 412 00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:42,280 I'm Emily. 413 00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:44,703 - I'm Adam. - I know. 414 00:18:44,807 --> 00:18:46,853 You're kind of the "It guy" around school right now. 415 00:18:46,943 --> 00:18:48,445 You know, 'cause of your mom. 416 00:18:48,511 --> 00:18:50,365 Yeah. Yeah, I know. 417 00:18:50,447 --> 00:18:54,988 - The cancer kid. - I was that kid for a while. 418 00:18:55,185 --> 00:18:58,256 My mom had a boob taken off last Christmas. 419 00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:00,756 How long did the stigma last? 420 00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:04,987 Until you become known for something else. 421 00:19:08,135 --> 00:19:11,813 Don't you don't you wanna wanna 422 00:19:11,973 --> 00:19:15,587 don't you don't you wanna wanna 423 00:19:15,744 --> 00:19:17,406 don't you 424 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,605 don't you wanna see me flaunt what I got? 425 00:19:21,784 --> 00:19:26,102 don't you, don't you wanna wanna 426 00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:29,871 don't you, don't you wanna wanna 427 00:19:30,027 --> 00:19:32,840 don't you 428 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,713 don't you wanna see me flaunt what I got? 429 00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:38,583 I have a surprise for you. 430 00:19:38,702 --> 00:19:40,364 And I have a surprise for you. 431 00:19:40,438 --> 00:19:42,164 I'm making homemade toilet paper. 432 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,766 With sawdust leftover from our tree, 433 00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:46,506 some cotton fibers, 434 00:19:46,578 --> 00:19:48,080 a bit of your fancy lotion. 435 00:19:48,147 --> 00:19:51,185 Trust me, our asses have never had it so good. 436 00:19:51,317 --> 00:19:53,298 Hi, daddy. 437 00:19:53,385 --> 00:19:56,424 Don't you, don't you wanna see me 438 00:19:56,556 --> 00:20:00,682 flaunt what I got? 439 00:20:00,861 --> 00:20:02,298 What? 440 00:20:02,362 --> 00:20:04,504 I'm sorry, sorry. 441 00:20:04,598 --> 00:20:07,380 I just--I never got the whole 442 00:20:07,501 --> 00:20:09,707 catholic schoolgirl fantasy. 443 00:20:09,804 --> 00:20:12,073 Maybe that's 'cause of the real tragedy 444 00:20:12,173 --> 00:20:14,346 that's being perpetrated on catholic school boys. 445 00:20:14,441 --> 00:20:16,327 Fuck you, Sean! 446 00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:17,880 I'm trying to be sexy for you. 447 00:20:17,945 --> 00:20:20,502 You don't have to try to be sexy, you just are. 448 00:20:20,614 --> 00:20:21,924 Oh, yeah, right. 449 00:20:21,982 --> 00:20:23,708 Like my fucking "hairy-ola" 450 00:20:23,785 --> 00:20:26,374 and inviting dimples on my ass. 451 00:20:26,487 --> 00:20:28,404 Yes, and your chest freckles, 452 00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:30,758 and your roots, when they start to show a little bit, 453 00:20:30,858 --> 00:20:33,128 and the extra weight you're gaining right there. 454 00:20:33,227 --> 00:20:34,824 Could you just stop? 455 00:20:34,895 --> 00:20:37,901 I'm really hormonal and emotional 456 00:20:38,032 --> 00:20:40,110 and you've gotta stop criticizing me. 457 00:20:42,770 --> 00:20:44,369 Okay. 458 00:20:44,439 --> 00:20:45,493 Okay, come here. 459 00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:48,419 - I-- - No, come here. 460 00:20:52,949 --> 00:20:54,068 What are you doing? 461 00:20:54,118 --> 00:20:56,035 I'm getting comfortable with you. 462 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,134 I'm sort of leveling the playing field. 463 00:20:58,223 --> 00:21:00,716 This... 464 00:21:00,825 --> 00:21:02,295 - Ew. - Is Dale. 465 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:06,838 My weird ingrown toenail that grows in two directions. 466 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:09,398 It's infected most of the time. 467 00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:10,939 In case you're wondering, 468 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:13,657 he is why I always have sex with my socks on. 469 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:17,578 Oh, I have a mole in the shape of Jesus. 470 00:21:17,743 --> 00:21:19,661 - Right next to my butthole. - Oh! 471 00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:21,408 Yeah, I figured you're gonna see it eventually, 472 00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:23,238 so it might as well not come as a surprise. 473 00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:25,042 A couple of other things. 474 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:27,804 I have a vestigial nipple under my arm. 475 00:21:27,921 --> 00:21:30,446 Oh, and when I told you I didn't like cauliflower, I lied. 476 00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:32,027 I love it. I just don't eat it 477 00:21:32,092 --> 00:21:34,074 'cause it gives me uncontrollable flatulence. 478 00:21:34,161 --> 00:21:37,871 So, if none of those things are deal breakers, 479 00:21:38,032 --> 00:21:40,846 then there is nothing you got going on 480 00:21:40,969 --> 00:21:43,814 that could make me any less nuts about you. 481 00:21:47,008 --> 00:21:48,638 You're nuts about me? 482 00:21:48,710 --> 00:21:50,532 Totally. 483 00:21:51,979 --> 00:21:54,505 You better? 484 00:21:54,616 --> 00:21:56,022 I'm better. 485 00:21:56,084 --> 00:21:58,993 Mm. Mm. 486 00:22:01,389 --> 00:22:03,723 But you gotta retape Dale, 487 00:22:03,825 --> 00:22:06,670 otherwise he's gonna make me throw-up. 488 00:22:17,842 --> 00:22:19,792 I know you're mad at me 489 00:22:19,878 --> 00:22:21,252 but it's time for your steroid shot 490 00:22:21,313 --> 00:22:23,168 and you can resume being mad at me afterwards. 491 00:22:23,249 --> 00:22:25,262 I wanna do my shots myself. 492 00:22:25,351 --> 00:22:26,534 Stop it. I will do it. 493 00:22:26,587 --> 00:22:27,832 You can't do it. 494 00:22:27,887 --> 00:22:29,261 You said yourself you can't do it. 495 00:22:29,322 --> 00:22:30,984 I'm not gonna hurt you, I've been practicing on oranges. 496 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:33,136 Listen to me. 497 00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:36,488 I need you to see me as your wife, 498 00:22:36,630 --> 00:22:38,548 as your sexual partner. 499 00:22:38,633 --> 00:22:41,478 And I need that. 500 00:22:41,602 --> 00:22:42,944 We need that. 501 00:22:43,003 --> 00:22:44,792 So from now on, I do my own shots. 502 00:22:44,871 --> 00:22:47,428 And...I know, there are gonna be times 503 00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:49,331 when I don't feel up to having sex, 504 00:22:49,409 --> 00:22:52,256 but I also know that you have needs. 505 00:22:52,380 --> 00:22:55,225 So... 506 00:22:56,917 --> 00:23:00,244 It's a sleeve... 507 00:23:00,389 --> 00:23:01,474 For your penis. 508 00:23:01,523 --> 00:23:04,209 It--it simulates a vagina, 509 00:23:04,326 --> 00:23:06,627 you know, when the real one isn't available. 510 00:23:06,728 --> 00:23:08,775 And it comes with inserts. 511 00:23:08,865 --> 00:23:11,006 There's-- there's an anus 512 00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:14,169 and there's one called "stealth," 513 00:23:14,302 --> 00:23:16,285 which you're gonna have to tell me about. 514 00:23:18,638 --> 00:23:19,853 Wanna try it? 515 00:23:22,009 --> 00:23:23,000 Right--right now? 516 00:23:23,044 --> 00:23:26,177 And...with you watching? 517 00:23:26,314 --> 00:23:28,264 I don't know if I have the ability to do that, honey. 518 00:23:28,350 --> 00:23:30,459 Oh, I think it could be sexy. 519 00:23:30,551 --> 00:23:31,830 Really? 520 00:23:31,887 --> 00:23:34,413 Come here, let me paint you a picture, 521 00:23:34,524 --> 00:23:36,186 create a fantasy. 522 00:23:36,259 --> 00:23:38,593 Close your eyes. 523 00:23:38,696 --> 00:23:39,910 Where do you wanna be? 524 00:23:39,964 --> 00:23:43,546 In a little street cafe in Paris perhaps? 525 00:23:43,702 --> 00:23:45,172 No, not Paris, too French. 526 00:23:45,237 --> 00:23:47,347 How about Bruges? I saw that in a movie. 527 00:23:47,439 --> 00:23:50,317 You're in a little street cafe in Bruges 528 00:23:50,443 --> 00:23:54,632 and I'm a little tipsy, 'cause we're-- 529 00:23:54,814 --> 00:23:57,084 we're deep into our second bottle of wine. 530 00:23:57,183 --> 00:23:58,653 Third bottle. 531 00:23:58,719 --> 00:24:00,541 Maybe you're getting a little sloppy, I think. 532 00:24:00,621 --> 00:24:02,218 - Yeah, I am. - Yeah. 533 00:24:02,289 --> 00:24:04,207 - And you're making me laugh. - Really? 534 00:24:04,291 --> 00:24:05,920 You're making me laugh so hard. 535 00:24:05,992 --> 00:24:08,166 I'm getting so turned on. 536 00:24:08,261 --> 00:24:10,754 - Really? - And I'm wearing a skirt-- 537 00:24:10,863 --> 00:24:13,518 a really short skirt. 538 00:24:13,635 --> 00:24:16,898 I'm kinda spilling out of my top 539 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:22,157 and you're refilling my glass of wine and-- 540 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:23,561 and I hand you something. 541 00:24:23,614 --> 00:24:25,788 What is it? 542 00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:27,641 My underwear. 543 00:24:27,718 --> 00:24:29,252 Jesus, when did those come off? 544 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:32,294 I want you, Paul. I want you so bad. 545 00:24:32,424 --> 00:24:33,670 - I want you right now. - Oh, God. 546 00:24:33,725 --> 00:24:35,898 I want you to take me into the ladies' room 547 00:24:35,994 --> 00:24:37,912 - and fuck me. - Up against the wall. 548 00:24:37,996 --> 00:24:39,179 - I'm gonna fuck you. - Yeah. 549 00:24:39,231 --> 00:24:41,437 That's it. I love that. 550 00:24:41,534 --> 00:24:43,196 Oh, make it rough. 551 00:24:43,269 --> 00:24:46,211 - Holy shit. - Screw the sleeve. 552 00:24:46,340 --> 00:24:48,449 - Do me. - For real? 553 00:24:48,541 --> 00:24:50,044 - Or are we still in Bruges? - Oh. 554 00:24:50,111 --> 00:24:53,149 Mm. 555 00:24:53,281 --> 00:24:55,742 Oh, I'm gonna fuck you. 556 00:25:02,825 --> 00:25:04,712 - Oh! - Ah! 557 00:25:08,999 --> 00:25:10,277 Ah! 558 00:25:10,334 --> 00:25:11,836 Jeez. Oh, God. 559 00:25:11,903 --> 00:25:13,853 Ah! 560 00:25:13,937 --> 00:25:15,599 - Oh, honey! Oh! - Shh, shh, shh. 561 00:25:15,673 --> 00:25:18,550 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 562 00:25:27,783 --> 00:25:29,318 Oh! 563 00:25:29,386 --> 00:25:31,336 - Oh, God. - Ah. 564 00:25:31,422 --> 00:25:35,387 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 565 00:25:35,559 --> 00:25:38,405 Oh, that sleeve. It's awesome. 566 00:25:46,171 --> 00:25:48,122 Andrea. 567 00:25:48,208 --> 00:25:50,510 I have to talk to you about what happened earlier. 568 00:25:50,611 --> 00:25:53,904 Mrs. Jamison and I already talked about it 569 00:25:54,047 --> 00:25:55,676 and it's probably best to just leave it at that. 570 00:25:55,748 --> 00:25:57,570 Yeah, but here's the problem. 571 00:25:57,650 --> 00:26:01,648 Cathy felt very strongly that in the spirit of honesty 572 00:26:01,821 --> 00:26:04,219 I call your parents and tell them what happened. 573 00:26:04,324 --> 00:26:06,243 What? You don't need to do that. 574 00:26:06,327 --> 00:26:09,045 Well, I did. And believe me, I wish I didn't, 575 00:26:09,163 --> 00:26:10,920 'cause your mother and father were not happy. 576 00:26:10,998 --> 00:26:13,012 - Oh, shit. - They've changed their minds 577 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:14,314 about letting you stay here. 578 00:26:14,369 --> 00:26:15,263 They want you to go to Ghana, I'm sorry. 579 00:26:15,303 --> 00:26:16,453 What? 580 00:26:16,504 --> 00:26:18,038 But it was an accident! 581 00:26:18,106 --> 00:26:19,384 - Can't we just-- - I told them that I would 582 00:26:19,441 --> 00:26:21,999 put you on a plane... tomorrow... 583 00:26:22,110 --> 00:26:26,429 Non-stop, Minneapolis to... 584 00:26:26,616 --> 00:26:28,343 Gullible town 585 00:26:31,455 --> 00:26:33,981 Oh, you're good. 586 00:26:34,091 --> 00:26:35,688 You got me. 587 00:26:35,759 --> 00:26:37,869 - Psych. - Good one. 588 00:26:37,962 --> 00:26:40,648 That's some mean shit, Mr. J. 589 00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:42,747 Don't mess. 590 00:27:08,519 --> 00:27:10,118 First one's free. 591 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:14,242 Heh. 592 00:27:14,292 --> 00:27:18,842 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42337

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