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So if a photon is directed
through a plane with two slits in it
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and either slit is observed,
it will not go through both slits.
3
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:06,800
If it's unobserved, it will.
4
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:09,100
However, if it's observed
after it's left the plane
5
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,000
but before it hits its target,
it won't have gone through both slits.
6
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,200
Agreed.
What's your point?
7
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,600
There's no point, I just think
it's a good idea for a T-shirt.
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- Excuse me.
- Hang on.
9
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One across is "Aegean."
10
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,200
Eight down is "Nabokov."
11
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26 across is "MCM."
12
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14 down is...
Move your finger...
13
00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:40,800
"Phylum" which makes 14 across
"Port-au-Prince"
14
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,600
See, "Papa Doc's capitol idea,"
that's "Port-au-Prince."
15
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Haiti.
16
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,200
- Can I help you?
- Yes.
17
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:57,100
Is this the high-IQ sperm bank?
18
00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:01,600
If you have to ask,
maybe you shouldn't be here.
19
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,400
I think this is the place.
20
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,100
- Fill these out.
- Thank you.
21
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,300
- We'll be right back.
- Take your time.
22
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:11,600
I'll just finish my crossword puzzle.
23
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Oh, wait.
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00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,400
Leonard, I don't think I can do this.
25
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What, are you kidding?
You're a semi-pro.
26
00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:33,500
No. We are committing genetic fraud.
27
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,800
There's no guarantee that our sperm
is going to generate high-IQ offspring.
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00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:39,800
Think about that. I have a sister with
the same basic DNA mix
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00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,400
who hostesses at Fuddruckers.
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00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,700
Sheldon, this was your idea.
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A little extra money to get fractional
T-1 bandwidth in the apartment.
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00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:51,000
I know, and I do yearn
for faster downloads.
33
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,200
But there's some poor woman
who's gonna pin her hopes on my sperm.
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What if she winds up with a toddler
who doesn't know if he should use
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00:01:58,300 --> 00:02:01,700
an integral or a differential
to solve the area under a curve?
36
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,000
- I'm sure she'll still love him.
- I wouldn't.
37
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,700
Well, what do you want to do?
38
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:09,800
I want to leave.
39
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:12,900
What's the protocol for leaving?
40
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:16,500
I don't know... I've never reneged
on a proffer of sperm before.
41
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,500
Let's try just walking out.
42
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,900
- Bye.
- Bye. Nice meeting you.
43
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,600
Are you still mad about the sperm bank?
44
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,900
You want to hear an interesting
thing about stairs?
45
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,400
Not really.
46
00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:49,000
If the height of a single step
is off by as little as two millimeters,
47
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:51,500
- most people will trip.
- I don't care.
48
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,100
Two milli... That doesn't seem right.
49
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,700
No, it's true, I did a series of
experiments when I was 12.
50
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,300
My father broke his clavicle.
51
00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:02,600
Is that why they sent
you to boarding school?
52
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:05,400
No. That was a result
of my work with lasers.
53
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,400
New neighbor?
54
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:13,700
Evidently.
55
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,700
Significant improvement
over the old neighbor.
56
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,900
200-pound transvestite
with a skin condition?
57
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,000
Yes, she is.
58
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:25,400
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
59
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,500
We don't mean to interrupt.
We live across the hall.
60
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,400
Oh, that's nice.
61
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:37,400
We don't live together. I mean...
62
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:39,200
We live together,
63
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,300
but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms.
64
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:44,800
Okay, well...
65
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,800
Guess I'm your new neighbor. Penny.
66
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,900
- Leonard. Sheldon.
- Hi.
67
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,500
Well...
68
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,700
Welcome to the building.
69
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:59,300
Thank you.
Maybe we can have coffee sometime.
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00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,200
Great.
71
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,500
- Well... bye.
- Bye.
72
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,200
Should we have invited her for lunch?
73
00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:15,300
We're gonna start season two
of Battlestar Galactica.
74
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,900
We already watched the season two DVDs.
75
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,200
Not with commentary.
76
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:23,800
I think we should be good neighbors
77
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,800
and invite her over,
make her feel welcome.
78
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:29,000
We never invited
Louie-slash-Louise over.
79
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,800
And that was wrong of us.
80
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,400
We need to widen our circle.
81
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,000
I have a very wide circle.
82
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,900
I have 212 friends on MySpace.
83
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:43,000
Yes, and you've never met one of them.
84
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,100
That's the beauty of it.
85
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,100
I'm gonna invite her over.
86
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,200
We'll have a nice meal and... chat.
87
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,200
Chat? We don't chat.
At least not offline.
88
00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:58,900
It's not difficult.
89
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,500
You just listen to what she says
90
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,400
and then you say something
appropriate in response.
91
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:05,800
To what end?
92
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,400
Hi... again.
93
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,400
Hi.
94
00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:13,700
Anyway...
95
00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:15,800
We brought home Indian food.
96
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:17,800
And...
97
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,500
I know that moving can be stressful,
98
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:22,800
and I find that
when I'm undergoing stress,
99
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,100
that good food and company
can have a comforting effect.
100
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:30,500
Also, curry is a natural laxative,
and I don't have to tell you
101
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,200
that, you know, a clean colon is just...
102
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,300
one less thing to worry about.
103
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:40,000
I'm no expert, but I believe
in the context of a luncheon invitation,
104
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,500
you might want to skip the
reference to bowel movements.
105
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,900
You're inviting me over to eat?
106
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,300
Oh, that's so nice.
I'd love to.
107
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,500
Great.
108
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,000
So, what do you guys do
for fun around here?
109
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:55,600
Today we tried masturbating for money.
110
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,000
Season 1 Episode 1:
Pilot
1
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,300
Okay, make yourself at home.
2
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,500
Thank you.
3
00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:30,000
You're very welcome.
4
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:36,100
This looks like some serious stuff.
5
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,300
- Leonard, did you do this?
- Actually, that's my work.
6
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,700
Yeah. Well, it's just
some quantum mechanics
7
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,000
with a little string theory
doodling around the edges.
8
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:47,700
That part there, that's just a joke.
9
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,700
It's a spoof of the
Born-Oppenheimer approximation.
10
00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:55,400
So you're like one of those
Beautiful Mind genius guys.
11
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,400
- This is really impressive.
- I have a board.
12
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,600
If you like boards, this is my board.
13
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:06,000
Holy smokes.
14
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:07,500
If by "holy smokes", you mean
15
00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:09,500
a derivative restatement
of the kind of stuff
16
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:12,700
you can find scribbled on the wall
of any men's room at MIT, sure.
17
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,900
- What?
- Come on.
18
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:18,700
Who hasn't seen this differential
below "Here I sit, broken-hearted"?
19
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:21,600
At least I didn't have
to invent 26 dimensions
20
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:23,000
just to make the math come out.
21
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:24,600
I didn't invent them. They're there.
22
00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:27,800
- In what universe?
- In all of them... that is the point.
23
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,200
Do you guys mind if I start?
24
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:31,800
Penny...
25
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,000
that's where l sit.
26
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,100
So, sit next to me.
27
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,400
No... I sit there.
28
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000
What's the difference?
29
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,200
- What's the difference?
- Here we go.
30
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,300
In the winter, that seat is
close enough to the radiator
31
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:51,300
to remain warm, and yet not so
close as to cause perspiration
32
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,800
In the summer, it's directly
in the path of a cross-breeze
33
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,900
created by opening
windows there and there.
34
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:57,600
It faces the television at an angle
35
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,200
that is neither direct,
thus discouraging conversation,
36
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,800
nor so far wide as to create
a parallax distortion.
37
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:06,100
I could go on, but I think
I've made my point.
38
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:10,700
Do you want me to move?
39
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,700
- Well...
- Just sit somewhere else.
40
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000
Fine.
41
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,300
Sheldon, sit!
42
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:42,200
Well, this is nice.
43
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,000
We don't have a lot of company over.
44
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:46,800
That's not true. Koothrappali
and Wolowitz come over all the time.
45
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,400
- I know, but...
- Tuesday night,
46
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,200
we played Klingon Boggle
till 1:00 a.m.
47
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:51,300
Yeah, I remember.
48
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,300
- Don't say we don't have company.
- Sorry.
49
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,300
- That has negative social implications.
- I said I'm sorry!
50
00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:58,500
So...
51
00:08:58,800 --> 00:08:59,900
Klingon Boggle?
52
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,700
Yeah. It's like regular Boggle, but...
53
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,000
in Klingon.
54
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,300
That's probably enough about us.
So, tell us about you.
55
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,400
Me? Okay.
56
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,200
I'm a Sagittarius,
57
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,700
which probably tells you
way more than you need to know.
58
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:20,000
Yes. It tells us that you participate
in the mass cultural delusion
59
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,400
that the sun's apparent position
60
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:24,400
relative to arbitrarily defined
constellations at the time of your birth
61
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,400
somehow affects your personality.
62
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,500
Participate in the what?
63
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,900
I think
what Sheldon's trying to say
64
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,900
is that Sagittarius wouldn't have been
our first guess.
65
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,500
Yeah, a lot of people
think I'm a water sign.
66
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:41,100
Okay, let's see, what else.
67
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,300
I'm a vegetarian.
Except for fish.
68
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,500
And the occasional steak. I love steak!
69
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,200
Well, that's interesting.
70
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,300
Leonard can't process corn.
71
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,900
Well... do you have some sort of a job?
72
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,100
I'm a waitress
at The Cheesecake Factory.
73
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:02,900
I love cheesecake.
74
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,100
You're lactose-intolerant.
75
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,700
I don't eat it...
I just think it's a good idea.
76
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,100
Anyways, I'm also writing a screenplay.
77
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,300
It's about this sensitive girl who comes
to L.A. from Lincoln, Nebraska,
78
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,900
to be an actress and winds up
a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory.
79
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,300
So, it's based on your life.
80
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:21,600
No, I'm from Omaha.
81
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:27,900
If that was movie, I would go see it.
82
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,100
I know, right?
83
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,400
Okay, let's see, what else...
84
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,500
Guess that's about it.
85
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,500
That's the story of Penny.
86
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,200
It sounds wonderful.
87
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,500
It was.
88
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,600
Until I fell in love with a jerk!
89
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:49,400
What's happening?
90
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,800
God, you know,
4 years I lived with him.
91
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:57,800
4 years... that's like
as long as high school.
92
00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:00,000
It took you 4 years
to get through high school?
93
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,400
It just... I can't believe
I trusted him.
94
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,000
Should I say something?
I feel like I should say something.
95
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,800
You? No, you'll only make it worse.
96
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,100
You want to know the most pathetic part?
97
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:20,300
Even though I hate
his lying, cheating guts...
98
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,500
I still love him.
99
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,500
Is that crazy?
100
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,500
No, it's not crazy. It's a...
101
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:33,000
It's a paradox.
102
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,700
Paradoxes are part of nature.
Think about light.
103
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,300
If you look at Huygens, light is a wave,
104
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,300
as confirmed
by the double-slit experiments,
105
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,700
but then along comes Albert Einstein
106
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:47,100
and discovers that light
behaves like particles, too.
107
00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:51,300
Well, I didn't make it worse.
108
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:55,700
I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess.
109
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,300
On top of everything else,
I'm all gross from moving
110
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,000
and my stupid shower doesn't even work.
111
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:01,200
Our shower works.
112
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,000
Really? Would it be totally
weird if I used it?
113
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,300
- Yes.
- No.
114
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,700
It's right down the hall.
115
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,000
Thanks.
116
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,700
You guys are really sweet.
117
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,800
Well, this is an
interesting development.
118
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:26,900
How so?
119
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,200
It has been some time
since we've had a woman
120
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,000
take her clothes off in our apartment.
121
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,600
That's not true.
Remember at Thanksgiving,
122
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:36,200
my grandmother with Alzheimer's
had that episode?
123
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,000
Point taken.
It has been some time
124
00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:41,900
since we've had a woman
take her clothes off,
125
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:44,400
after which we didn't
want to rip our eyes out.
126
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,700
The worst part was watching
her carve that turkey.
127
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:52,600
So what exactly are you
trying to accomplish here?
128
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:54,600
Excuse me?
129
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,900
That woman is not
going to have sex with you.
130
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,400
I'm not trying to have sex with her.
131
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,500
Good. Then you won't be disappointed.
132
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,100
What makes you think she
wouldn't have sex with me?
133
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,100
I'm a male and she's a female.
134
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,800
Yes, but not of the same species.
135
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,100
I'm not going to engage
in hypotheticals here.
136
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,000
I'm just trying to be a good neighbor.
137
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:16,500
Of course.
138
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:20,000
That's not to say that if a carnal
relationship were to develop,
139
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,700
that I wouldn't participate.
140
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,200
However briefly.
141
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,100
Do you think this possibility
will be helped or hindered
142
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,600
when she discovers your Luke Skywalker
no-more-tears shampoo?
143
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,300
It's Darth Vader shampoo.
144
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,200
Luke Skywalker's the conditioner.
145
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,500
- Wait till you see this.
- It's fantastic, unbelievable.
146
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:45,600
See what?
147
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:51,000
It's a Stephen Hawking lecture
from MIT in 1974.
148
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:52,200
This isn't a good time.
149
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:55,400
It's before he became
a creepy computer voice.
150
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,700
- That's great. You guys have to go.
- Why?
151
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,000
It's just not a good time.
152
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:03,700
Leonard has a lady over.
153
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,800
Yeah, right... your
grandmother back in town?
154
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,600
And she's not a lady.
She's just a new neighbor.
155
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:15,300
Hang on, there really is a lady here?
156
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,600
And you want us out because
you're anticipating coitus?
157
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:21,700
I'm not anticipating coitus.
158
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,100
So she's available for coitus?
159
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,600
Can we please just stop saying "coitus"?
160
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:28,500
Technically, that would
be"coitus interruptus. "
161
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,300
Hey, is there a trick to getting it
to switch from tub to shower...?
162
00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,900
Hi. Sorry.
Hello.
163
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,600
Enchant�, mademoiselle.
164
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:44,000
Howard Wolowitz,
Caltech department of applied physics.
165
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,200
You may be familiar
with some of my work.
166
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,900
It's currently orbiting
Jupiter's largest moon
167
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,400
taking high-resolution
digital photographs.
168
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,800
Penny. I work at The Cheesecake Factory.
169
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,200
I'll show you the trick with the shower.
170
00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:58,800
Bonne douche.
171
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:00,900
I'm sorry?
172
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,900
It's French for "good shower. "
173
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,700
It's a sentiment I can express
in six languages.
174
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,300
Save it for your blog, Howard.
175
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,700
All right, there it goes.
It sticks. I'm sorry.
176
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,400
- Okay, thanks.
- You're welcome.
177
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,500
You're just gonna
to step right... Okay, I'll...
178
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:26,200
- Hey, Leonard?
- The hair products are Sheldon's.
179
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,000
Can I ask you a favor?
180
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,200
A favor?
181
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,900
Sure, you can ask me a favor.
I would do you a favor for you.
182
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,200
It's okay if you say no.
183
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,000
I'll probably say yes.
184
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,500
It's just not the kind of thing
you ask a guy you just met.
1
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,800
I really think we should examine
the chain of causality here.
2
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,300
- Must we?
- Event A...
3
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,600
A beautiful woman
stands naked in our shower.
4
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:04,100
Event B... we drive halfway across town
to retrieve a television set
5
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,100
from the aforementioned
woman's ex-boyfriend.
6
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,400
Query... on what plane of existence
7
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:11,700
is there even a semi-rational
link between these events?
8
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,200
She asked me to do her a favor, Sheldon.
9
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,000
Yes, well, that may be
the proximal cause of our journey,
10
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,500
but we both know it only exists
in contradistinction
11
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,500
to the higher level distal cause.
12
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,900
- Which is?
- You think with your penis.
13
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,700
That's a biological impossibility.
And you didn't have to come.
14
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,800
Right, I could have stayed behind
and watch Wolowitz try to hit on Penny
15
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,500
in Russian, Arabic and Farsi.
16
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,200
Why can't she get her own TV?
17
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,300
Come on, you know
how it is with breakups.
18
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,500
No, I don't... and neither do you.
19
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,200
I broke up with Joyce Kim.
20
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:47,500
You did not break up with Joyce Kim.
She defected to North Korea.
21
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,500
To mend her broken heart.
22
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,600
This situation is much less complicated.
23
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,400
There's some kind of dispute
between Penny and her ex-boyfriend
24
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:00,100
as to who gets custody of the TV.
25
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,400
She just wanted to avoid
having a scene with him.
26
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:06,500
- So we get to have a scene with him?
- No, there's not going to be a scene.
27
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,600
There's two of us and one of him.
28
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,400
Leonard, the two of us
can't even carry a TV.
29
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,500
So, you guys work with Leonard
and Sheldon at the university?
30
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,300
I'm sorry, do you speak English?
31
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,800
He speaks English.
He just can't speak to women.
32
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:29,900
Really? Why?
33
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,700
He's kind of a nerd.
34
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:35,700
Juice box?
35
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,100
I'll do the talking.
36
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,400
- Yeah?
- Hi, I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon.
37
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,200
- Hello.
- What did I just--
38
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:52,300
- We're here to pick up Penny's TV.
- Get lost.
39
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,600
Okay, thanks for you time.
40
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,100
We're not going
to give up just like that.
41
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,600
Leonard, the TV's in the building.
42
00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,500
We've been denied access
to the building, ergo, we are done.
43
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,600
Excuse me. If I were to give up
on the first little hitch,
44
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,400
I never would have identified
the fingerprints of string theory
45
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,300
in the aftermath of the Big Bang.
46
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:11,700
My apologies. What's your plan?
47
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:28,500
It's just a privilege to watch
your mind at work.
48
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,400
Come on, we have a combined IQ of 360.
49
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:35,400
We should be able to figure out
how to get into a stupid building.
50
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,100
What do you think their combined IQ is?
51
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,200
Just grab the door!
52
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:45,900
This is it.
53
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:48,600
I'll do the talking.
54
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:51,100
Good thinking.
I'll just be the muscle.
55
00:18:58,700 --> 00:18:59,700
Yeah?
56
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,600
I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon.
57
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,100
From the intercom.
58
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:06,800
How the hell did you get
in the building?
59
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,600
We're scientists.
60
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,400
Tell him about our IQ.
61
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:28,000
- Leonard...
- What?
62
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,500
- My mom bought me those pants.
- I'm sorry.
63
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,800
You're going to have to call her.
64
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,400
Sheldon, I am so sorry
I dragged you through this.
65
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:43,300
It's okay. It wasn't my first pantsing
and it won't be my last.
66
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,700
And you were right about my motives.
67
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,200
I was hoping to establish
a relationship with Penny
68
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,300
that might have someday led to sex.
69
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,400
Well, you got me out of my pants.
70
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,200
Anyway, I've learned my lesson.
71
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,200
She's out of my league,
I'm done with her.
72
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:03,200
Got my work, one day
I'll win the Nobel Prize
73
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:04,500
and then I'll die alone.
74
00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:07,600
Don't think like that.
You're not going to die alone.
75
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,200
Thank you, Sheldon.
You're a good friend.
76
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,900
And you're certainly not
going to win a Nobel Prize.
77
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:19,100
This is one of my favorite places
to kick back after a quest.
78
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,800
They have a great house ale.
79
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,500
Cool tiger.
80
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,600
Yeah, I've had him since level ten.
81
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,100
His name is Buttons.
82
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:30,300
Anyway, if you had
your own game character
83
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:32,800
we could hang out, maybe go on a quest.
84
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,600
That sounds interesting.
85
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:36,900
You'll think about it?
86
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,800
I don't think I'll be able
to stop thinking about it.
87
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:42,800
Smooth.
88
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,200
We're home.
89
00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:48,400
My God, what happened?
90
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,600
Well, your ex-boyfriend
sends his regards
91
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:53,500
and I think the rest
is fairly self-explanatory.
92
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,500
I'm so sorry. I really thought
if you guys went instead of me
93
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,800
he wouldn't be such an ass.
94
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,000
No, it was a valid hypothesis.
95
00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:03,700
That was a valid...?
What is happening to you?
96
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:08,500
Really, thank you so much
for going and trying, you're just...
97
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,000
You're so terrific. Really.
98
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:14,800
Why don't you put some clothes on,
99
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:17,000
I'll get my purse,
and dinner is on me, okay?
100
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:18,300
- Really? Great.
- Thank you.
101
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:26,800
You're not done with her, are you?
102
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,500
Are babies will be smart and beautiful.
103
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,700
Not to mention imaginary.
1
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,900
- Is Thai food okay with you, Penny?
- Sure.
2
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,000
We can't have Thai food,
3
00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:48,800
- we had Indian for lunch.
- So?
4
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:51,500
- They're both curry-based cuisines.
- So?
5
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,500
It would be gastronomically redundant.
6
00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:57,500
I can see we're going to have
to spell out everything for this girl.
7
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,200
Any ideas, Raj?
8
00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:03,900
Turn left on Lake Street
and head up to Colorado.
9
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,700
I know a wonderful
little sushi bar that has karaoke.
10
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:08,100
That sounds like fun.
11
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,800
I don't know what your odds
are in the world as a whole,
12
00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:25,900
but as far as the population
of this car goes,
13
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,700
you're a veritable mack daddy.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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