Original subtitles

Footjobs.com, Footfetish.com, ToastSuffers.com,

VirginAssEaters.com, EatmyAss.com,

FingerFuckers.com, LonelyDiurectic.com

MedjitDumbAss.com, AnalTooth.net

WorstHandJobs.com, BornyardFuckers.com,

BukhakiBuckSmuckers.com. What the hell is a Bukhaki? >>Ask

your wife [inaudible]. I'm sure she's in that kind of

thing. >>TwoGirlsOneCop.com, >>TwoGirlsOneFinger.com,

TwoGirlsOneFoot.com, oh this is different,

HowtoGrowWeedatWork.org. I think you were just a pervert.

You're a criminal too. OverEightyandHorny.com, this

is even the worst to them. Shall I proceed? >>Please do.

>>VomitFuck.com, ColostomyRide.com,

CoandBlow.com. Oh, and this one FuckTheDay.com? >>Yes,

that actually is a good one. I forgot about that. Thank you.

>>You want me to look at those shit on company time? >>Well,

I obviously don't have the time to look at all these

incredible acts of human expression on my own, so I

do my research here. Besides it helps make me a more

efficient worker. Hell, it makes me feel a lot better by

myself knowing that there are people out there that actually

eat shit for a living, yes. >>You are fired. Do you have

anything to say for yourself? >>Yes. >>Get out! Get the fuck

out of my office you sick shit. You and your lunch time

butt. Get the fuck out of my office you sick motherfucker.

>>Be hang this windshield, everyday look best. You look

so safe in synthetic wind. Get the bio spinning wheels.

>>Keef, what are you doing? That's not fucking fair. Who

the hell is doing all this work? >>I'm talking about

the load highway without a number or a name. Kick all

bubbles, spinning wheels. >>I don't like you. >>Asshole

bubbles, spinning wheels. >>I don't like you. >>Asshole

nothing on sale. How many muskins getting your way?

Nothing do the show, but the napkin is coming. We also

have got nothing to spare, by my side people being so unfair.

>>I think you fucking love me. Everybody knows I don't mean

it, because I'm crazy. Oh, we don't like corn hair. Take

your corn, take your corn, I don't need it, Dex. Whoa. You

your corn, take your corn, I don't need it, Dex. Whoa. You

think I'm crazy. Home alone again. There's some known

together low lots and it's all right. We'd get me my...

Oh, you got to be kidding me. What? God damn it. What the

fuck is that guy doing? Get the fuck out of the way. Come

to, di-gi-di-gi-dam, bam. Hey Adrian, kind of where are you?

You didn't pick up to tell you I'm going to be home. Anyway,

I want to see if you want to get dinner tonight on me,

kind of celebration, you know, freedom America and that's it.

I love you. I'm going to be home a little bit, so I'll see

you when I get there. Okay hon. Hey Adrian. >>Ohh. >>Hon?

you when I get there. Okay hon. Hey Adrian. >>Ohh. >>Hon?

>>Ahhh. >>Ohh yes. >>Ahh-ahh. >>You got to be shitting me.

>>Ahh-ahh. >>Ohh yes. Oh yes. >>Ahh-ahh. >>That's my girl.

Oh yes, yes. Come on. Oh yes. >>Keefer, what are you doing

Oh yes, yes. Come on. Oh yes. >>Keefer, what are you doing

here? I thought you're at work? How long have you been here?

>>What the hell is that in there? >>That oh, well, I

was going to tell you about that. >>No-no. What is that

in there? >>Well, the thing is that, I really wanted to try

girls, you know, like for us, but I wasn't ready to fully

commit yet, so I thought this would be a really good first

step for us. >>What the fuck is that in there? >>Hey,

what's going on? Oh you must be Keefer. Hi, I'm Carl. I

guess you are wondering what's going on here. >>Can I hit a

trainee? Let's see here, you can't hit a woman, but this

woman with a cock, cocky calls man. Yes, yes you can hit a

fucking trainee. >>It's never [inaudible]. >>Son of a...

fucking trainee. >>It's never [inaudible]. >>Son of a...

whoa. Grundel, what's up man? Ugh. I don't where are your

place man. You better be there. >>Yo, Koopy. What's up man? I

place man. You better be there. >>Yo, Koopy. What's up man? I

need some trees. >>Huh? Bees? You need bees? Shit man, I'm

no bee keeper. >>No man. I need trees, man. Trees, like

grass, weed, bud, my prescription, man...trees.

>>Oh trees. >>Yes. >>Ah shit, man. Why don't you say so.

Give me a ride to the gas station. What's our business?

>>You don't stink, dude? Oh my Gosh, do the question. >>I

have some of itch. >>Yes. Get that on my face. >>Hey, I want

that bike, I told you I get a bottle of spoke. >>You've been

snipping a lot of that glue. >>Do you want some? >>No.

>>Got to go with the glue with the flow was all. >>Who's that

chick? >>I don't know man, but I'd like to eat shit out of

her butt. >>Right dude. >>Well, it's your lucky day

clam boat.>>Nice. Awesome. >>I've got some good bud, full

sale, full show, full show, yo, pa-do-do, roll-o, sitting

on lo-lo, it's a motherfucking co-cos. >>All right, all right.

>>Oh shit, oh shit, yo. Pull over, pull over real quick,

pull over, man. Pull over the car. >>All right. I'm pulling

over. >>Allright. Motherfucker go. Shit. [Inaudible], like I

over. >>Allright. Motherfucker go. Shit. [Inaudible], like I

will say it. >>Yes. >>So, $120 a quart. >>Fucking Jesus

Christ, 120 a quart. >>Hey, hey listen, with the American

economy and constant decline, the gas prices on the rise, I

got no choice but to adjust my business parameters, it's a

con to the economic seatbacks that we all face with, that's

why I have glue. >>All right, Jesus! Take it easy Barrack.

Listen, I'll take the quarter, but I'm going to sample that

first. That's for sure. I might scan it anything. >>Pull

over, pull over. >>Where am I, where am I? >>Behind that

building. >>Behind that. >>Behind the building. Hurry

up, man. >>I'm going. In that building? >>Behind the

dumpster. >>The dumpters? What do you want? >>Yes, yes, I

want [inaudible]. >>All right. I'm going, I'm going. >>Yo,

pull over, pull over. >>All right, all right.

All right, talk to me. >>Like I was saying, 120 a quart.

>>120 a quarter, are you fucking nuts, Koopy? >>Hey,

hey, do you want to fly like the Cambodian rain? >>Yes.

>>Do you want to get high like the falling sky? Let me pack

this ball and I'll show you the promise land with fucking

valley. >>All right good. This is, this is get high...

ows. Oh shit, shit. Put that away, Koopy. Figs bro. Put it

away, just relax. Just put that shit, yo. >>I can't go

back to jail, man. >>You're not going back to jail, just

relax. Just put it away. Just put that shit away. No big

deal. I can handle it. >>No. I'll kill them, motherfucker.

>>Jesus Christ. >>I can't go back to jail. >>Put it down,

man. Put that away. Relax. Relax. Just let me handle

man. Put that away. Relax. Relax. Just let me handle

this, all right. Let me handle this. >>My name, the officer

Sleeve Jake. License and registration. >>Going to get

my, you get the license. >>Smells like you two been

doing some party in open here? >>No, actually, there's a lot

of farm. I think I might hit a skunk on the way over, just

take my buddy to the gas station. >>Do you think I look

like some sort of regular jackass, huh boy? Do you think

I look like some kind of an ignoramous here boy? Do I look

like some sort of pelt much it air, boy? >>Do you want me to

pick one of the three, I mean two maybe? I'm just trying to

get my buddy to gas station. That's all. >>Hey, are you a

little corn cobbler? You think I was born yesterday. I'll

assume a Llama wong-ho, Amboy. >>No, I don't think you're

born out of a Llamas bungle. >>Damn. Straight up. What do

you cocky little press has? >>Smells like ripper in here.

>>As batch [inaudible] 19 and 20, I have an emergency.

>>Shit. Why you sort of struck a shit. Today is your lucky

day. You're getting all for, the ticket. What if I you have

punk. Yes, if I'll see you are driving around this spot

again, I'm going to personally rip off your monkey balls. Eat

them with some franks red hot and grab the back down in

your throat. Do you copy? >>Yes. I copy the balls and

hot shitting. I got it. I got this. >>Here's your ticket and

your damn license. Now get your monkey ass out of here,

whoa yet, yet and stinking. >>Yes, your fully tits. >>Has

that a gun. Let's chill out. Let's chill out. Let's chill

out. Wait for them to leave. >>That gun, it had no arm

sting on the end either. >>Yes, that guy, something is

wrong with that dude. >>He's been smoking some of my shit.

>>He's smoking all your shit. >>If he smoked all, I got my

shit right here. >>No. Listen, you better bail, dude. I got

to... >>All right. >>Take your glue. >>You thought I'm going

to leave it. Shit. Listen man, there, I think there are some

underage girls open it. You want to poke the hairy hole.

>>No, I'm good. Why don't you, you can take care of the hairy

holes. Just give me, where's my weed. >>More for me.

All right, man. >>You know what? You can take that too.

Take them also. >>Fresh meat. >>I like a breast and a thigh.

Take them also. >>Fresh meat. >>I like a breast and a thigh.

>>So do I my little terderloin. Yes, you get a breast. >>I'd

like some ribs. Hey thanks, Grundel. >>It's Grundel. Now,

move along. >>Uh, these ribs must be real greasy. >>What

move along. >>Uh, these ribs must be real greasy. >>What

the fuck. Get the fuck out of here you piece of shit. These

ribs are worth more than your life. Go back to Jersey or

I'm going to fucking kill you. Throw your worthless spy,

you're fucking smoker. Get the fuck out of here you fagoty

ass cock sucking fellow biter. >>Come on, come on. >>Hey, you

suck. >>Really? Do you think it was really going to happen?

suck. >>Really? Do you think it was really going to happen?

I understand. Fifteen years, now you think? It's all right.

Let it out. >>One day you son of a bitch, one day. >>Cry,

cry it out. It's good for you. Good for you, Jake. >>Yo man,

do you have to give a girl an angry tire >>Fuck an angry

tire. >>It's too fucking jerk of in a girl's eye. Kick her

in the fucking leg and she just 'Urg, urg'. >>Oh yes.

Jesus Christ. What is that, Dan? Fucking japport, dude.

Are you fucking, are you shit? Are you fucking nuts, dude.

What the fuck. Hey. Cut the japport. Cut the japport, man.

I'm sensitive. >>Hey Meegosh, I told you no japport by the

grill. >>How is it going? >>How is it going, I'm fucked.

That's how it's going. >>What? >>I get fired today. >>You get

fired for what, porn? >>Yes. >>Get out of here. >>Then, I

got home and caught Adrian getting railed by, she's

shitting on me and I got a ticket on the way over here.

>>Holy shit. That sucks. What could be worst when you can

be watching a Sea Sucker film, right? The guy is a douchebag.

Bro, it's not the end of the world. Roy hasn't a job in two

years, he's doing great. Look at him. >>Oh, I think God shit

by himself. >>It's not even so much that Adrian was around

some, that she was shitting on me or I got the ticket, what

am I going to do for money, bro? I had this sweetest job

in the world. I go in there. I sit at desk, jerk off, set

a food bet for lunch and occasionaly catch a glimpse of

the bosses daughter's bush. >>What did you say? >>Her bush

dude. Get a day she bent over, I caught a glimpse of it. Like

the Amazon. I swear to God, I've heard how the monkeys.

>>No, no. The food bet part. >>Oh, no big deal. We do food

bets at lunch. I never lost, David Dumpster, the only guy

I've ever came close. >>What the hell are you talking about

man? >>The story goes like this. Once upon a time. >>Go

ahead. >>Whoa. Whoa. >>Good luck teady bear. Try it less

ahead. >>Whoa. Whoa. >>Good luck teady bear. Try it less

Keefer. >>Whoa, ready. >>You can never get this Keefer,

Keefer. >>Whoa, ready. >>You can never get this Keefer,

you're going to lose. You're a lose. Dave is the winner.

>>Fuck, I think he might shit on his pants. >>come on, Dave.

Come on, dude. Come on. >>Hey Keefer, I tell you for me, it

Come on, dude. Come on. >>Hey Keefer, I tell you for me, it

was silly blue cheese. Whoa. Yes. Whoa. >>It's like the

blue cheese [inaudible]. >>Winner. >>Ohh, the party is

blue cheese [inaudible]. >>Winner. >>Ohh, the party is

over. Honestly, I don't like that. >>Wait to go back. >>Was

it the girl that showed her tits on? >>Well, that's how I

remember it. >>Oh. >>But the China man, >>you had him going.

>>He's definitely there. >>You had him going. >>Is it true,

you were named after one of the midgets from Willow? >>Yes.

Yes it is. Meegosh represents kindness and disciple and my

parents wanted to instill that were in me. >>Yes. I heard

your parents just smoke Meth. >>Really? >>Get the fuck out

of here, you piece shit. Isn't there some glory older trucks

obviously behind right now, beat it. >>You two are too

thick. >>Right. Hey everyone that girls got herpes behind

their knees. Do you know why? She'll do anything. >>Sweet

dude, real smooth. You have always had a way with the

ladies. >>Fucking life time, the Willow references will

make any member of that dude. Damn it. Every girl that I'd

ever fucking date will never shut the fuck up. It drives

me nuts, man. I just want a nice girl, doesn't talk to

much. I'm a nice guy. >>Great guy.

listen. I think I know what you can do for money. >>Yes,

what? >>You can suck cock, [inaudible]. >>Huh, dude, you

know, I don't need this right now. >>All right. Listen,

we'll just set a food wars. Food war Keef? Food wars.

We'll advertise the hell out of it, right? We'll go in

like Grundel's basemet or something. We'll get all the

competitors put in large amounts of money and we're

fucking, the winner takes it all. Dude, you will destroy

everybody, that will be great. >>Bro, I can't just set up

underground food eating competition in my buddy's

basement? >>Why the hell not? >>Because, you know, it's

county lines and permit and illegal. >>They don't give a

shit. Dude, you could eat. You really like eat the oppy and

get the things and get the things eating dinner, spoiling

it in. I've seen you ate an entire chicken give us in all,

a fried cheeze cake for desert and then go to Yako

and was in found four chili cheesedogs. That was before

your graduation dinner, Keef. You could eat. Bro, you could

eat. You could eat. We could do this. You can eat more than

a big pig man. >>Oh, come on. You think we could do it?

>>Yes. I think we could do it. Sure and we'll get a lot of

pussy. It's better than working, man, you know. >>Yes.

>>You see that I joined the army, Keef. It's up to you and

the Iraqi girls there are like nasty. That's why the guys are

making wear of those rags to cover thier faces. >>You know

what, dude screw it. Let's eat, dude. >>Let's do it.

>>Oh everything, all day. Let's fucking eat. >>Let's

run this shit. >>Beer me, dude. >>Yo, look at Roy. >>Got you.

I got you. >>Oh well, that guy, if I end up being like

Roy. >>Hm-mm. >>Shoot me on the face, dude. >>Okay. >>That

guy, on the scale of one to ten, a zero. >>No, he's not.

He's like a [inaudible], is good. >>I love him, but come

on, seriously did he went out dating now? >>You're seeing

him with a zero? >>That's impressive. >>I'm not gay,

I'm just saying. >>If you're in the born marks. >>You're

going to give yourself a dirty momma. >>What the fuck a dirty

momma? >>That's when you're jerking off and you fart and

it makes you blow a fucking load. >>Whoa. >>Hah, ohh,

fitness, exercise. Healthy living. One day this town will

be known in this greasy fat country as the first town to

go lean. No fast food, no red meat, no pizza places, no

bars, just fitness and health food and I will own them all.

Oh-oh, I used to be 430 pounds, but look at me now, I'm a

thing of beauty. I can change the rest of this town and I

can profit immensely of their laziness. Oh, oh, ahhh, I'm

going to cleanse this town like Roseo Donalds Fat Dirty

colon. >>Mayor Pings Call like, whoa. >>Oh. >>Oh, up. >>Oh,

yes. Oh, god damn it. I thought I told you interns

to knock before you enter the arch way. If you weren't

entered the arh way I'm heaven now, would you? >>Would I walk

into heaven? >>Forget it. Can't you see I'm busy. What

do you want? >>Well, sir I have your proper art works for

your health clubs and your food stores. I also... >>Yes,

what do you got there Janna? >>My name is Georgia. >>What

the hell is matter with you? This is a suburn State of

Pennsylvania. You figured if you're going to get any intern

job, you figure out what State you're in first. What are the

reports say anyway? >>Well sir, they suck, they stink. Your

health clubs are barely keeping afloat and your food

stores are on your banckrupt. People in this area just

aren't in the working out all the time. >>Now, you listen

here vagina. I am the mayor, Mayor Pings Call. That's me.

And if I tell the people of this town they're going to be

eating fucking celery and they're going to be working

out like fucking labrats, that's what I demand to do.

The people of Koopers Burg will do what I tell them to

do, because I'm going to take away their pizza kings and

their burger huts and then, I am going to tax anything that

I feel is unhealthy. Koopers Burg is going to be the

leanest town in America and I will be known as the mayor,

who gave this whole fucking world a huge fucking animal.

>>Sir, sir? >>What? >>Lunch sir, what do you want for

lunch, sir? >>Let me get the bacon hoogy deluxe with extra

mayo, sat on the scrapple, the onion rings are ranch

dressing and give me a big can pie and a liter of soda,

please. Thank you. It's all for research. Just get it. Get

out of here. >>Okay. I'll get it. >>Would you know why

watermelon is made of water. >>And before they were just

so cheap man. >>To me, they already make sense if like

people smell of yours. >>Yes, well, you know, it might just

be their genetics, you know. >>Hi. Did you jump high?

They're retarted. They are retarded. >>Do you seriously

think I got a chance in this food eating business? >>What?

Yes man, you're the fucking best, dude. Nobody is faster

than you. You're a fucking animal. You're like Michael

Myers. The old Michael Myers, not the new Rob's zombie shit.

>>Yes, but I got a weakness, you know. >>Stop dropping

your knees and stay to your cock, you'll be all right.

>>I'm not your uncle Ray. >>Stop foretelling uncle Ray

shits, seriously Keef. >>His a choir director. >>The world is

music, bro. Get off it. >>Seriously man spicy food. I

can't eat fucking spicy food. My stomach is nuld up. I go

dizzy. It sucks. >>Dude, stop, okay. There is no spicy foods

in this competition. You have nothing to worry about. We do

the wings or mild. I keep telling you stop worrying

yourself up like that. Oh, very good, you compete Voltes

Food Competition. You got no idea. >>Hey, fuck off. I'll

cut your balls over like your egg wall. >>Wow. >>Yes. One

word, Hiroshima bitch. >>Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck off.

>>So why she's kicking your ass dicker head. >>Who's

kicking ass? >>Oh great, the fucking meatball brothers are

here. >>What's up fansies. >>What's up Meegosh, are you

still wearning a mad manequin to help you along on your

journey? >>Are you fucking 80 retards. >>Some of these games

jerking off the good fellows again. You motherfucker, you

motherfucker. >>Yes, yes. Let me see one of those. Food

eating competition. >>Let me see that. Oh shit. Is this

for real. >>Indi, indi, yes it's for real. You whacked

pussies want it. It's 100 bucks a pop. First game is

tonight. The final is on next weekend, so what do you say?

>>Fuck it. We're in. We'll see you us too tonight. >>Hell yes.

You better get your game face down boys. Ala, ala, ala. >>I

thought your game faces, 'Oh don't chisel my eyes, please.'

Nice tattoes. >>Bags. >>I want to smoke. Do you got a light?

>>No, but just went up to the gas station and to the park.

>>It's bullshit man. Are you kidding, we need a fucking

burger in this town. >>It's a fucking crack of shit. You

know what I'm the fuck and do? >>Huh? >>I'm going to get a

job one of these fucking places, right? And I'm going

to take a fucking shit in the butternut squash soup. I mean

it. I'm only talking like a retard, I mean a fucking log

dump besides of Texas. Fuck that shit. I got a fucking

letter man. Oh shit. >>Hiding from you. >>I'm going to smoke

you right now. Jail bone time >>Here's those dead gump

retard buglers right there. >>You kow what? We're going to

do good this next competition. >>Yes. >>You might even be

able to compete nationally if everything goes well. I'm

going to tell you something, sluts love guys that are

dedicated to food. You know what? >>Good jaw strength.

>>No. Because girls love it when a guy is more interested

in going to like all you can eat buffet rather than hanging

out with them. They fucking love it. If they want your

attention, right? And you carefully pushed them aside

for like aside for like, beside the table tots or

something like that and they get a little hot and bothered

and hungry and all of a sudden they get angry like they want

you and you grab them and you fucking take them and you

fucking punch them and fuck them and you fuck them like a

plate of meatloaf, man. >>Freeze little [inaudible].

>>Jesus Christ. >>Oh Shit. >>Let's go, go hide. Listen,

>>Jesus Christ. >>Oh Shit. >>Let's go, go hide. Listen,

you go right, I'll go left. >>You go left, I'll go right.

>>No, you go right. I'll go left. Oh shit, Andrei the

>>No, you go right. I'll go left. Oh shit, Andrei the

Giant. Used to be the Art of War, the giant. >>I'm going

to eat you in hospital. >>Hey Queen Mayo prepare to be

to eat you in hospital. >>Hey Queen Mayo prepare to be

distroned. >>Listen up ladies, these are the rules. Once our

bell rings eat what's infront of you. All food must be

consumed entirely unless there is bones, the names must be

picked whom. All [inaudible] are timed, the best time wins.

If there's a tie, we go to [inaudible]. This is winner

takes all. Are you fast food fuckers ready? Reveal.

>>By found spaghetti. >>Whoa. >>Eat them up. Keef, I want

>>By found spaghetti. >>Whoa. >>Eat them up. Keef, I want

to [inaudible] this play is spaghetti, that's sauce model,

oh proud and I. >>It's a bulls eye. She's pronouncing the

oh proud and I. >>It's a bulls eye. She's pronouncing the

giant, they go on same time. We've got a tie. >>Your look

as we're out. >>It's so called [inaudible] of you. >>I never

going to get you. >>I respect that. I respect that. >>Pussy,

you suck. >>Who said that? >>I think I just shit on my

pants. Maybe mayo is not such a good idea. >>Meat balls, I

got beat by a plate of meat balls. >>This is it gentlemen.

This is the moment we're all been waiting for. The first

one who finished wins it all. Let's see what the mystery

meat is, reveal. >>Scrap ball. >>Hey, this is it. Everybody

here is ready. Fuck your mouth, eat. >>Come on Keef.

here is ready. Fuck your mouth, eat. >>Come on Keef.

You can do this. >>Keef is the winner. >>Dude, you're

You can do this. >>Keef is the winner. >>Dude, you're

fucking, you own last night, man. What did I tell you right?

>>You're right man. What can I say. >>Dude, you can make a

living doing this, I'm telling you. I mean think about it,

Keef you've made more money last night than you did in a

week, right? I'm telling you once were get about this,

it could be big. You could be the next big [inaudible]. You

could be the next big thing in the area man. You might

been able to beat that Jap dude that can house hotdogs,

you know what I'm talking about or better yet, you can

be Joey Chest. >>You think? >>Uh-huh. I know it, bro.

Maybe we got work to do. >>What do you mean? >>We can

have bad ass change sequence if you want to get better.

Remember on Cry the Kid, the theme song. >>You can't Ralph

Matthew. >>Yes. You're the best, all right. No ones ever

gone the kitty down. You're the best all around. Nobody is

going to sound like a kitty now. >>Yes, we got to train,

dude. Let's get out of here. >>Let's roll. >>Right? >>Dude,

dude. >>Come on. >> I just literally give birth to a

chipmunks from hell or something in there. >>I know.

Come on. >>No problem. Serious dude, I'm not kidding, bro.

>>Keef, we're going to train you. Time to the battle those

chipmunks is okay, come on. >>We better call Nover or

something or the 911, dude. >>Do it, my dance. Do it my

dance. >>I'll give you the name, yo. I'll give you the

name, yo. >>Mr. Mayor, sir. I thought we apply the all up

and gear. Mr. Mayor, sir. Mr. Pings Call. >>Mayor. Mayor.

>>You can't stole my cracker. >>Can't you see I'm in the

middle of my cardio. Get me up, damn it. What are you

looking at butterball? You ain't never seen one of this

before? >>Sorry sir, I just have something and thought you

might be interested. >>Come on, I got to go stretch my

muscles. Let's go. >>What do we got here? Seems we got a

muscles. Let's go. >>What do we got here? Seems we got a

food eating competition going on in my neighborhood. >>Yes,

sir. We ran into those fruitcakes the other day.

>>That's right. They sell piece asshole food town.

>>These little rejects want to hold their underground

tournament in my neck of the woods. They had been a get

ready to play hard, balls. >>Excuse me sir, did you say

hard balls? >>What? >>Sir, it's not us like you said

balls. >>Balls, what a balls have to do with this? >>Never

mind sir. >>Anwyay, seems like we got a terroristic

association on our hands. We're going to put a stop to

this gathering. We are going to have them by the balls.

They are big, hairy, soft, velvety sweaty balls. >>We're

going to go. Steve is no good. He's rubbing all my badge.

>>Oh, don't go. No, it's just the expoliants. No, I thought

we're going to have my heel toe. >>You know, I like the

way you move, when you shake your booty. >>It must have

been chilidog night. It's like a State of Florida, smells

like Florida. I like porn. >>Oh yes. >>Yes. Well, if we

like Florida. I like porn. >>Oh yes. >>Yes. Well, if we

got that other way now that way when we start dating and

then you moved in and then one day you come home and

catch me on the computer in the computer on man handling

myself like an Iraqi prisoner, that way it won't be so weird.

>>Yes, I mean, it might be a little weird if I walked in

and see you water boarding yourself and your pants down,

I might be a little freak out. >>My name... >>Keefer, I know.

Sorry, I got to go. Wait a minute. Are these your

boyfriend's clothes or you just have some averted fettish,

where you steal man's clothing. >>No, no. I worked for Mayor

Pings Call and he asked me do his laundry for him. >>Nice.

>>Yes. I guess, it's all pass some day, right. Sorry Keefer,

I got to to go. >>Wait. I mean, I don't even know your

name. >>You are him, aren't you? You're that guy? >>Who?

You're the one. I saw you two weeks ago ate more spaghetti

than I've ever seen anyone eat in my entire life, man. You're

a god, like Charles Bronson or a ghost of the Ghost Arian.

>>Thanks, man. >>Dude, I got a question for you. How did

you ever get start in this. I mean, where to begin? When did

you know that you had the gift? >>I don't know. It started

when I was a kid at this little pizza place just

outside of Fely and I used to...>>Wow! I love you, man.

I'm in love with you. >>Thanks man. >>Want to comes down. I,

I love you. Your nose just button nose. >>Thank you.

>>Here, hang on. I got something for you. Here, here

take my milk. Have that. Have my milk. It's warm. >>No, no.

It's all right. >>Have my cellphone, my personal number

is on it. You can call me anytime. I've got many minutes,

weekends and nights, it's a family phone, just take it.

Take all of it. >>No, no man. Thank you. >>Take whatever,

take whatever, take whatever you need. >>No, thank you,

man. It's okay. >>Whatever you need. >>No. It's okay. I'm

sorry, man. >>Please, just take it. What else? You can

have my shoes. You can have all that. >>This is a little

weird, man. >>Take it. Take it. You broke my heart.

You're a fucking asshole. >>I don't even know you. Jesus!

>>Looks like we're going to need a challenger for this

next match. Anybody is strong enough to take my man Keefer

here? Anybody who have enough guts. >>We're the Twins in

Death. Nobody is a match for our food eating abilities.

>>Dude, no way. That's not fair, it's two against one.

>>You are incorrect. We share only one stomach and it is our

normal size. See. >>Holy cow. What the fuck is that? Jesus

Christ, Almighty. What time is bottom bailing in your back

long ago? That's disgusting. You should be ashamed. I'm

sure your mom is proud. Who's against abortion now? Anybody?

Seriously, it's disgusting. All right, Keefer looks like,

it says here they share one stomach. They're good to go

main accounts. >>All right. >>Prepare to meet your doom.

>>All right, let's get this freakshow going. Reveal.

Groggies Classics. Keef, are you ready? >>I'm freaked out,

dude, but I'm ready. >>All rihgt. I know man. I'm

with you. Weird Siamese Twin girls that share goiter

stomach, are you ready? >>We're going to eat your

face. >>Okay. Eat. >>You have failed us. It's no wonder,

face. >>Okay. Eat. >>You have failed us. It's no wonder,

you're the ugly one. >>It's neck and neck here,

you're the ugly one. >>It's neck and neck here,

[inaudible] listen up. My man Keefer is still going strong

for three weeks. A little bit of determination of the

Arabian Nightmare. >>If I lose I've built some [inaudible].

>>Hey, bro, bro. >>Just kidding. >>All right. Calm

down, calm down. This is it. No one wants to see what these

guys are eating. Reveal. >>Uh, Shoppers pie. >>What I'm

talking about, babe. All right. >>Keep it down. >>[Inaudible],

who's the winner. >>Oh shit, it's the fucking cops. >>Oh

shit. Fuck it. >>Come on donkeys. I'm taking in for

you to wrap open all, your bastard tear come on to your

head. All right everybody. Steve, we got out here's a

head. All right everybody. Steve, we got out here's a

warrant for the arrest. A-la-la-le-da. It is here a

little over this organization. Direct orders from the mayor

here says to use, whatever, folks. Yes for [inaudible],

aprehenos looks bad. Now, where is the Mister Keefer.

>>I'm right here. What the fuck you want, Sir Jack? >>The

name, the officer looked Sir Jack and your ass is mine boy.

>>I love Nest car, that bounty is a fair driver and

her dad Dale Jerry goes real fast around in the race way

as repairing these parts. >>How do you went on? >>Dude.

as repairing these parts. >>How do you went on? >>Dude.

Hey, where have you been, man? You look like shit. You smell

like a camel, who just give birth to a dead Mexican baby.

What's going on? >>I puke. >>Where? Out of your ass,

Keef. Jesus Christ, man. >>He stole my money on bail,

man. Damn fucking terrorist. I got no money, the police will

leave, no girl. I was fucking dozen. >>Hey baby. Thanks for

the goodtime last night. I didn't have fun like that

since the Lexy Toxic in '87. That's why I lost this tooth,

baby. Oh yes, whoa-ho. >>She's a beast. Disgusting. Jesus.

Shit man. come on. Listen, I'm getting you out of here.

We're getting you back on track. >>It's my life now,

Meegosh. Everything I need right here. As you know the

shot for my band. >>Your band, what are you talking about?

>>Yes, enjoy your rides to the cover man. What the fuck kick

some ass. Get away, fuck it. All right guys, give me this.

Fucking everybody, we're Hot Legs, I hope you're ready.

We're going to give you a reason to believe. One, two,

a five, six, three, eight. >>What the fuck, shit man.

You're coming with me. >>No, no. >>Come on, let's go.

>>It's my band. Those not believe. Give them a reason

band. >>Hey, fuck you and fuck Rod Stewart, pussy. >>Now,

what are we going to do guys? >>Shit. I don't know. I guess

we can be a whole and oats cover band. >>I'm oats. >>You

got them fuck. You can't stop. >>Stop, stop. Go around the

back, there's a hose, clean yourself up. See you about in

the [inaudible], all right. >>That's still our old, man.

>>Hey, how are you doing? Hey, how are you doing? Know

you're fucking bitch. Hi. I'm sorry. I was talking to your

friend here. I was trying to get your attention. It is

something, keep walking. Hi. How are you? >>Anyway, I was

wondering. >>Hi, what's your name? >>You're retarded. I'm

just kidding. I'm just kidding. >>I'm deaf. >>I know, I know.

I'm playing. I know your deaf. I could sign and stuff too,

baby. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Wait, wait. I'm sorry. Listen,

listen. I think you're the most attractive deaf girl

I've ever seen. I'm so attracted to girls that can

move their hands fast and your hands obviously on job, right?

Never mind. Can I call you? Can I give you a card? Can I

call you? Are you for real? Oh my god. This is awesome. This

call you? Are you for real? Oh my god. This is awesome. This

is really amazing. Let's go out some time, okay. Go out,

and gets our movie, you can't do movies. We'll go to a

concert. I know you can't. A little fucking planetarium,

okay. Fucking like a museum. You could see like dinosaurs,

there's like lions and the crocodiles and dinasaurs. You

could see crocodiles, okay. Maybe cool. All right. Oh

you're hot. You have great tits. I want to bang you, I

want to bang you. All right, so I'll call you, okay. I'll

call you. Yes. >>Call me. >>I'll call you. I'm kidding,

come on. You got a great ass. All right, I'll call you. Bye.

Keef. This is it Keef, there's no turning back. Man, I'm

serious. You have to walk in the mayor's office. You got

to demand him, let's you continue. You can't quit bro.

>>Screw that man. Okay. That piece of shit wants this town

to go healthy. Okay. I guess I just don't belong here

anymore. >>Never say die, Keef. Goonies never say die,

man. >>I'm not saying die. I'm saying it's over. >>You

have a talent. You could eat, man. And you're going some

shitty pressed ass mayor getting your way. You're just

a nobody if you do that. You're another robot. No one

in this town has ever done anything except for wanting me

crashed into that porn shop on 309 or that. >>Oh yes.

>>I'm so ready to play, you're in the porn, everything.

>>That was good, but dude I still have my pocket pussy.

There. It's a little deep but. >>It is. Mine is like getting

large. Seriously man, you can't quit. Then you look

at the people's faces when they contented or when you won.

Everybody there is a little bit of themselves when you

win. They found hope in you. I found a hope in you, so next

time you see a sky I'll be over on some other town.

That's all over once you're out of choice bucket. >>Choice

bucket. What the Christ are you talking about? >>Goonies

rule, man. >>Well, well these are the cast from Dudes and

Hazards. >>Well, if it is an Al and Queda. >>Yes, where's

been [inaudible] hiding? >>Jesus Christ, why don't you

get the dick in your mouth, you retard. >>Gentleman, not

here. I thought I taught you two tickters a lesson. I told

you to get out of town. By the way, you better fill up your

plates because soon this place is going to be an organic

vegan restaurant. >>What? You can't get rid of Uncle Bob's.

It's been here for 40 years. >>Yes. >>I could do whatever

the hell I damn will please. This town is going to go

healthy. Koofer's Burg is going to be the first healthy

town in history. I am going to be the most famous mayor in

the entire world. >>If you're so healthy, how come you half

the buffet stock up in your plate, you fat dump. >>You

too donkey dongs might not know it, but the mayor here

used to be the best eater in town. You won't say that

in the entire football team and won't say it no. >>That

was a long time ago boys. >>Yes, before he lost all the

weight. >>Hold on, hold on. You used to compete in eating

competitions. You're fucking hypocritical dush. >>Ah, the

mayor here all used to be 550 pounds. >>Such a keen call

missy. I've had enough out of you. >>If you're such a hot

shot, why don't you compete against me, this weekend, town

carnaval. You and me. If I win, I continue with my food

competition without any interference from you and your

cronies and your fool backing. If you win, I'll pack my bags

and get out of town for good. >>I don't have to prove

myself to you. I'm in the best shape of my life and I do not

compete. >>You're chicken shit. You know you'll lose. The last

thing you want is some fool from his own town beating him

at his own gain. >>Oh yes, man. He couldn't even eat a hotdog.

He's chomped it on your throat, [inaudible]. >>I could

throw the winner. Listen you two, you better get out of

the town or I'm going to have to sick my dog catches on you.

>>Arg, arg. Whoa. Hi-ya hi-ya. >>Hey mayor, you better

reconsider this offer, because you wouldn't want any of your

business receipts from your little health food stores

that nobody goes into made public, now would you? And you

definitely wouldn't want any of your loyal tax payers to

know that they're paying for you to get jerk off by your

cleaning crew, now would you? And you definitely wouldn't

want any of your fat smutty pictures all over the paper,

now would you? >>Black mail, I know I couldn't trust this,

the attorney [inaudible]. >>Then you better step your

ass into the plate and accept the challenge as it stand. You

spend that's where in Queen. >>That's it. You're on, you're

on this weekend. You are going to get your asses waxed. >>And

you Missy, you're fired, Miss Anne Janna. Nobody blackmails

me on things and gets away with it. Let me tell you

something fellows, you better get on your dancing shoes

because you are about to dance with the devil, with the devil.

Pick that shit up and after you do, you're fired. >>Wow!

You really do work for that douchebag. >>I used to work

for him. I'm sick of his bullshit anyway. How about

you, do you think you can beat him? >>He can beat anything.

You have to see him beating off. >>Maybe I will someday.

But, I guess I'll better be looking for any job. I'll be

seeing you Keefer. >>You're such a watch beat off, then

you're going to get her number. >>Just wait, can I get your

name this time? >>Georgia Brown. >>Wait a minute. Does

it had anything to do with Sweet George Brown Barbecue

sauce. >>Yes, my grandpa makes that. I was actually raised

on it. I'll be seeing you, Keefer. >>Sweet Georgia Brown.

Believe that shit, man. >>Something about that girl,

man. Dude, sweet Georgia Brown, >>I know. >>Shitting.

Something about that girl, man. >>Yes. That was awesome.

>>Yes, dude. >>That was awesome. >>Forget it. >>This

is real now dude. Like this is it. We are in it. >>Yes. We're

going to definitely in it, man. We're going to win.

>>We're going to win. >>I need to start training, man. >>You

do. >>Start training hard. >>Training hard. >>Yes. >>I

got to make a phone call. >>Who are you calling?

>>Stacey? Stacey, that chick from the bar. >>I have, I will

dial, yes, number? >>You have reach the challenge sex line.

>>Just hold on, you got to hear this. This is like.

>>If you're tease press one, the deaf is coming [inaudible].

>>You got to hear this dude. Like the pause behind. >>You

fuck me so hard, oh god, yes, yes. >>That's a dying text.

>>Isn't all right. >>What the? >>Buzz me, yes, I'm all ready.

I love you. Okay, come on. >>Let's do it. >>Really? Let

me get on top. Here's the one. >>Uh, here's the joke. >>Oh,

dear heavenly father, I'm will get some pussy, I'm will get

some pussy. Keef, going to get some pussy. Everyone get some

pussy. We're going to get some pussy. We're all going to get

some pussy. We're going to eat this when we get pussy. I'm

going to kill the mayor's dog. I'm going to kill mayor's

[inaudible]. The motherfucker, the motherfucker. >>We eat.

>>Can I have some of that any of that corn dip? >>Go back,

it's an eat all you can buffet. >>All right, man. We're going

to give you some balls to make you fearless. You're going to

drive all best or you get straight across the field.

>>Do you want me to drive across the field? It's not

even safe. >>Trust me son. It's as safe as Mexican hooker.

>>Shit. That will be worth it. >>What did you guys do to

this thing? >>No breaks, no steering. Once she goes, she's

not stopping. >>Okay, sounds good. >>Hi-yah. Whoa. Call the

police. Help me. >>How there, folks. Come on down, damit it.

Come on down to Pings Call's new house of fiber and save

for yourself the bountiful, healthy and alternatives to

unhealthy eating. And we got veggie cheese steaks. Bona

fetit. We got tofu turkey burgers. Um, yummy, yummy.

Good for the tummy. We got cool and cleansing products,

that will flushed your [inaudible] out. I prefer cool

and blow. Come on down at Pings Call house of fiber.

And remember folks, if ain't healthy it ain't natural.

>>Cut. That's a wrap, I guess, piece of shit. >>Somebody

give me a damn candy bar. We could dank damn it. They have

services my ass. What the hell is matter with these people?

Whoa. Relax your stinkers, boys. Take a seat. >>Mayor,

I'm sure you are ready for this weekend. >>I'm ready boy.

I've been training to do this my whole damn life. Hm, it's

going to be easier to getting sipless in Atlantic city.

>>Well sir, I'll sure hope you all got a plan, becasue I hear

this Keefer supposed to be a quick darn good. >>Now, don't

you worry, I got a plan and I'm going to need you two boys

to help me out on this. >>Sir. >>Well, I went to get my

colonic the other day and I talked to Dr. Timothy Earls

about Mr. Keefer, who happens to be a patient. Now as it

turns out our little problem child has a weak stomach for

the hot stuff, if you know what I mean. >>Like the sun.

>>No, deep shit. Spicy stuff. Jalapena and such. >>What

shall we're going to do, boss? >>Don't you worry Sleve, I've

got a plan. >>Whoa, whoa. >>What are you doing? >>Now,

got a plan. >>Whoa, whoa. >>What are you doing? >>Now,

we're ready. >>What the hell is it? >>It's our costumes,

man. My grandmother, god bless her. She made these works.

>>Your grandmother a biker slut? >>Yes. We put her

between the biker game bangs. She saw this, have a look.

>>Dude, fucking sweet. >>Right. >>Did anyone see my vita pants?

I told Grundel not to go on my room. Grundel, you're son of

a fool. >>Well, what a beautiful day here folks at

the annual Kooper's Burg Carnival. We have the plateral

fun things to do today. Be sure to check out the hot and

sexy over 80 beauty pageant at 7:00 p.m. and remember folks,

we are just minutes away from the world famous food eating

competition, the Nacho Mountain. See the areas best

competitive eaters, battle at for the rights to be called

the champion. All coming up next on Channel one news.

>>Hey Keefer, do you think you're ready for this or what?

>>Yes, I'm ready. >>Yes. >>I'm just worried that they

might, they might have spicy food, hot [inadible]. >>Not

dude. Don't fucking talk like that. All right. Just think

Caltic frost if they weren't so fucking bad ass, they won't

rule as much as Caltic frost fucking rule. >>Caltic frost,

what the fuck are you talking about? >>Caltic frost fucking

role. >>All right. >>It doesn't matter. >>It's

definitely great. >>It's right. >>Look of [inaudible].

>>Yes. >>Live, local, late breaking news, here's what's

happening. >>Good evening, folks. I'm Lance Pivotcock

here. Your host along with my co-host, Barry Carpwork, who

is on location in Koopers Burg right now. How are you doing,

Barry? >>On the scene. >>Well, looks like the Eight Annual

Koopers Burg Eating Competition is taking place.

Let's take a look. >>Oh, slave, can't you see, quite

the answer really like, what's the problem we have. >>It's on

dear. >>Oh my god, that make up makes you look like a slut.

Here, use mine. >>Thank you, Swaborati. >>Wow, that was

beautiful. >>Yes it was Barry. It brought tears in my eyes.

Much like the time that your wife got naked at a Christmas

party and Dr. Tense in the punched ball. >>Ladies and

Gentlemen. Welcome to the Koopers Burg Eight Annual

Food Eating Competition. Crowd gather around for

tonight's event, two round winner takes all. >>We got

veggie cheese steaks. >>No I heard some shit. Ah, this is

my shit. Peter cop I love you. >>This is a throw down, not

a throw up, remember the rule. You head, you lead. Are we

ready? Let's see what we're eating. Halloki, a Pennsylvian

nuts favorite. Constestants get ready. Eat. >>Wow! Look

at that, they are really chowing down. >>I love you,

Keefer. >>Remember the rule. The first two people to eat

as much as possible in two minutes will move on to the

final round. >>Look at Keefer, he's really downing at

Halloki. >>Okay folks, 20 seconds left, 20 seconds.

Halloki. >>Okay folks, 20 seconds left, 20 seconds.

>>Incredible eating here, folks. Really makes you want

to laugh at starving people everywhere. >>Count down with

me, five, four, three, two, one, put down your Halloki.

>>I haven't seen that much eating since I read in that

Slovakian girl on Girl Flick. >>Hey, isn't that the guy

that played with us? >>Yep, the best Ryan Stewart I've

ever meet. >>You suck. >>That ain't cool, man. >>Ladies and

gentleman, advancing into the next round. In second place

with 14 Halloki, the ultimate warrior Keefer Tan. >>I want

to fuck you Keefer. >>What do we got cover in these folks.

In first place with 16 Halloki. We have our mayor, Pings Call.

>>He's like a buttom with spit of awesomeness. >>With all the

losers get off the stage. You're done. >>Obviously,

Keef. Yes, Keef. He's the motherfucker. EMO. >>And now

ladies and gentlemen, this two men are going to attempt what

no man has done before. This is the lee high bowly classic,

that has no man has finished alone. It is a layers of

multi-cheddar in [inaudible], a value of salad cream and

chicken, steaming hot beans throughout the cabberns. This

is Nacho Mountain. >>Oh my god! That's huge. >>Here try

some strawberry rush. >>Oh we can't forget the Jalopenos.

>>Oh! >>That's something else, Lance. I'll tell you. >>That

is a huge plate of Nachos, I will say that or the rumor has

it, that Keefer cannot stomach on that hot stuff. >>Well see.

Well see. >>All right, contenders, here's the deal.

The first person to finish his Mountain is the winner. >>I

heard you don't have a stomach for the hot stuff. You better

get your bags pack, because you're leaving tonight. >>Why

don't you lick my dirty sweaty balls you rigid semens fuck.

Let's do it. >>Contenders, eat. >>Look at a go. I bet

the mayor could swallow a live candle hole. He's that

good. >>Get the motherfucker, I am cool, get it the eye pro

man. >>That's a really good strategy. The double fist,

the shovel technique. >>Keefer, eat my ass.

the shovel technique. >>Keefer, eat my ass.

>>You're eating real people shit. >>It's okay, it's

all right. >>Shut the fuck up, you pussy. You can't finish

that anyway. >>You're fucking, shit. >>Huh, are we rolling?

that anyway. >>You're fucking, shit. >>Huh, are we rolling?

>>If the mayor eats his last two nachos, he is the winner.

>>Keefer seems to be having some difficulty here. He

doesn't look too well. >>Oh my God, coach! We might have a

winner here. All he has to do is swallow. >>Looks like the

mayor may have this one in the bag. >>I can't boil the

mayor may have this one in the bag. >>I can't boil the

diarrhea. >>Ladies and gentlemen, this qualification,

diarrhea. >>Ladies and gentlemen, this qualification,

Keefer is the champion. Keefer is the champion. >>Wow! Did

you see that, just incredible. >>Whoa-ho. >>What he's doing.

Yes. Keefer that pamble, motherfucker. That's the

prize, motherfucker, the prize of help. >>Amazing Lance,

it's amazing. Keefer wins it all. He should invest in a

barrel of gold bond after that one. >>Keefer is the new

champion although he might want to check his pants on

that one. >>Well, from everyone here. I am Lance

Pivotcock, fuck the French. >>That was awesome, man. That

was great. >>You fucking did it man. >>Yes. You did it

amazingly. >>This is Stacey. You are green. Yes, you.

>>That's my bet. >>Let's get eat dinner sometimes. >>I

think I have some really good dimension. -----------------------------

You know what give me a hand of that, give me a hand of

that. Give me a hand of that. >>Keep it in. >>Yo, that's

commercial brave. >>Be a man. Be a fucking man. >>Hey Koofy,

Koofy. >>Can we get some of that shit, man? >>What the

hell? Who is this guy, man? >>They're going to get in.

>>Who is this guy, man? >>Whoa. The parachute parade.

>>The white horse is taking it's plane. >>Oh, motherfucker.

>>You two donkey dongs might not know it, but the mayor

here used to be the best eater in town. He won't say that

at the entire football team and won't say... >>It's a

traumatic, yes. >>Yes. Let's get on. >>Dude, where the

fucking have you been, man, you look like shit. You smell

like fucking brunk hair and milk. What's the hell is going

on? >>You're fucking, you smell like my piss after I eat

asparagus, what's going on? You smell like a fucking old

hotdog, what's going on? You smell like a fucking petting

zoo, what's going on? You smell like hot milk and

fucking cabbage. What's going on? >>I puke. >>You did. I'm

sorry. >>Yes, I did. >>How long ago, I'm fucking rule?

>>Right, are you okay with the work shows up this morning,

the motherfurker is dead, remember that guy. >>You

[inaudible] that. >>Hold on. That's a little bag of douche,

bro. That's a bag of it. >>Absolutely. >>Hey mayor. I

knew it was suprising. >>Do it. >>All right. >>Dear

heavenly father. I just want pussy. I just someone's pussy.

Keefer's getting pussy. I'm getting pussy. A good food

we're going to chain, we're going to kill people, we're

going to kill the mayor's dog. I'm going to kill the mayor's

dog. We're going to fuck it. We're going to get a pussy.

>>Yes. >>Oh, you're dress up. >>This is a special shirt. I

wore this when we met at the Laundrymat, which I kind of

consider our first date, but this is like the official

first date. >>Right. >>You know what I mean. That's very

sweet. >>I know. I figure we come here and get a small bite

before we go to the Queen, let's see a movie. >> Yes,

Keefer. >>I've been trying to. Okay, there's small bites and

then there's ridiculousness. >>What, I'm not that hungry.

>>I'm dieting. You know what mean? >>Dieting? >>I'm laying

low. Look at this bad boy. >>I bet you cannot even finished

that hamburger. >>Really? That's what you think,

Frenchie? You bet I cannot fucking finish this. Really?

>>Yep. >>Sit tight French foot. Watch. Oh by the way, I

asked for bacon on this. God damn it. I got some freaking

pig. >>Oh no. >>Did I not? >>Yes, bacon. >>Yes. Thank

you. My lady knows and that's because she's my lady and if

you thought that was a question too maybe that's

something you and I should discuss, because I am not

going to sit here and have you tell me this or that or

anything else. >>I just shit on my pants fill 911.

anything else. >>I just shit on my pants fill 911.