All language subtitles for Last Man Standing s05e19 Outdoor Woman.eng

Good morning, Kyle.

Oh, good morning, sir.

Yeah, I was having a nice conversation
with Terry in sporting goods.

Uh, remind men again... man or woman?

Oh, uh, woman, sir.

Damn.

Would you apologize to her for me, please?

See if... see if you can get her to
wear some kind of a lady hat or something.

Hey, morning.

Whoa! Check out, Mr. B!

Nice threads!

Uh-oh, did somebody die?

No, we're having a meeting with
Billie Cassidy this morning.

Should be here any minute.

It's my lucky deal-making tie.

Lucky I wore it.

I just talked Terry out of a lawsuit.

Oh.

Well, you look very sharp, sir.

Thank you.

Well, anytime you're meeting an old flame,

you... you have to present well, huh?

That's why I always keep a
crisply ironed shirt in my car

just in case I run into Helen Mirren again.

Uh, wait a minute.

Did I hear that right?

You used to date Billie Cassidy?

Really? Helen Mirren gets me nothing?

I don't know who that is,
but I'm guessing she's not

a world-famous rock
climber like Billie Cassidy.

She and I went to university
of Michigan together.

I was unpacking my bow, carrying it up
to my dorm room, and she looked at it.

She said, "is that a compound bow?"

And I said, "sure is."

She goes, "it's for sissies!"

I looked right at her.

I said, "yeah, go to hell!"

Next thing I knew, we were making
out in front of a bunch of hippies.

Helen Mirren is an academy
award-winning actress!

Okay, well, unless she also
once set her own broken leg

with an axe handle, I'm
still on team Billie.

There you go.

I need you to dazzle her, Mikey, all right?

Climber's World wants Billie's brand...

...A-and so do we.

This thing could be huge
for us, so don't be afraid

to, you know, walk her
down memory lane, hmm?

Yeah.

Billie and I had some great times.

I think that's the only girl I ever dated

that liked climbing, hunting,
and shooting more than I did.

Oh. That was years ago, and, you know,

time has a way of rounding
that stuff off, you know?

Speak for yourself, sissy!

Go to hell!

Ah, you got to hell.

Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com

So, as you can see, from
the water-sports area

to camping, fishing, hunting, and guns,

everything in Outdoor
Man is top of the line.

Wow, very impressive.

Well, thanks.

But kind of sad.

W-why is it sad?

Well, the Mike Baxter I knew
used to use all of this stuff,

and now you're just walking around
with a goofy tie on and pointing at it.

I'm wearing this because somebody died.

Hopefully before they saw it.

Come on.

I've field-tested every
single thing in my store,

except maybe the hand warmers.

If my fingers get that
cold, I'll just snap 'em off.

"Snap 'em off."

Well, it's good to see that
an old desk jockey like you

gets out into the wilderness
every once in a while.

Yeah.

You, your photographer, and
your hair-and-makeup team.

I think my reputation's safe.

I've done everything outdoors
a person could possibly do.

Oh, I remember.

Except for that one time you
thought a bear was watching us.

You know, a bear was watching us.

Ooh! Looked just like your dad.

It did!

Don't say that to your...
there they are, there they are!

Just look at you two.

The old sparks are still flying, huh?

Oh, yeah, luckily, everything
on this floor is nonflammable.

In our partnership, I'm the closer
and Ed's the guy I apologize for.

And I'm the one shopping for his own jet.

Ooh!

So, are we ready to make Outdoor
Man the new home for your brand?

Well, it's a great store,
Ed, but so is Climber's World.

Hmm. What do you have that they don't?

Me! Ah.

Was he always like this?

No. He used to brag a lot.

Okay, I'm not bragging.

I love this stuff.

I know how to sell this stuff.

I have a big presentation I'd like
to show you upstairs, so if you will?

Mike, this is me.

You know I like things simple.

Just tell me what you're thinking.

Okay. All right. All right, all right.

Uh, broad strokes?

Outdoor Man welcomes outdoor woman.

Sounds good. All right, so, we go
back to the five peaks that you climbed

that made you famous, right? Yeah.

With the best adventure
photography group available.

Yeah, we'll put it all in
a special online edition

of our catalog that features
your complete line of gear.

Then we will live-stream your last climb,

and maybe, if we're lucky,
there will be a dramatic fall.

You ain't gonna get that lucky.

See what I mean?

Yeah, I like it. I really do.

See, you didn't have to do
that big dog-and-pony show.

You're really good, Mike.

And yet he's the one shopping for a jet?

Hit we where it hurts... my immense wealth.

I love the concept.

I just would like to make
one little, bitty change.

I can make a little, bitty change.

Okay. The best outdoor
photographer that I know of is you.

So I think it should just
be you and me on this trip.

Alone? Yeah.

Yeah. Just like old times!

Except, of course without the bear.

Yeah.

Billie, I think that's a terrific
idea, and so does Mike.

I...do.

Then I'm ready to sign on!

Wonderful!

We'll get that catalog online
before the summer climbing season.

Sounds great.

Guys, I got to get out of here.

Mike, I look forward to getting
on the cliffs with you again,

and if your hands get
cold, I'll snap 'em off!

Way to sell, Mike!

Okay, the hard part's over.

Now the easy part.

Just go home and tell my wife

that I'm gonna go on a road
trip with my old girlfriend!

So, uh, why aren't you guys having
this yard sale at your place?

Uh, "a," no yard, and,
"b," in our neighborhood,

2 bucks for a chair is pretty steep.

You know what?

Wherever you do it, it's a good
idea, you know, fresh start.

Perfect time to throw
out your entire wardrobe.

Yeah, it's mostly just household items.

Oh.

I know it's hard to get rid
of stuff, but in feng shui,

it is important to clear your
meridians and keep your energy flowing.

They also say there's no msg
in the beef and broccoli, so...

VHS tapes?!

Wow!

And I thought your clothes were dated.

Whoa, those are the hockey fights
I taped off TV when I was a kid.

We can't get rid of these.

Yeah, I'm sure we can't.

But we have to try, you know,
keep those meridians flowing.

So, how much are you asking for these?

Well, who knows? Because you
can't put a price on memories.

Sure you can. Watch... nickel.

Look, babe, there's stuff
that I want to keep, too,

but we both agreed to do this.

That's what I love about
the fashion world, you know?

When something or someone
is old, you just...

Throw it away.

I didn't think it was gonna be this hard.

Yeah, me either.

Hey, maybe it would be easier
if we had someone sell the stuff

who isn't emotionally attached...

To anything.

Let's talk commission.

Hey. Hi, honey.

Hey! Hi!

So, how was it seeing
the old girlfriend, huh?

She still wearing your I.D. Bracelet?

Ah, so funny... for you.

I think it's so cute how you
dressed all fancy for her.

Was she impressed?

Of course she was.

And you were wrong about the tie.

She loved it. Oh.

But get this... I closed the deal.

Oh, nice! Yay!

Congratulations.

Thanks. Good.

She loved my pitch about doing
the photo shoot for the catalog.

Yeah, I thought that
was a really smart idea.

Yeah, she's all pumped
up about taking the trip.

We all are. I'm going, too.

What's for dinner?

You're... you're going?!

I thought we were talking about dinner.

Well, wait. Hold... wait.

I mean, what happened?

You never talked about going before.

I know. It just came up today.

Are you all right with this?

Well I mean, I'm surprised you are.

I-I'm not going on a trip
with my ex-girlfriend.

I mean, isn't that gonna
be a little awkward?

Not as awkward as this conversation.

I mean... I know it was a long
time ago, but after a breakup,

there's always hurt feelings.

Oh! I see where you're going.

Yeah. No, not in this case.

We actually never broke up.

We're not gonna eat dinner, are we?

So you never broke up with Billie.

Well, this is an interesting
story I never heard.

Well, it's actually no story.

She quit college, moved
away, I started listening

to Jackson Browne, drank, and
then I met you, so... Are we cool?

And this is the woman you just asked

to take a trip with you around the world?

No, no, no. I didn't ask her.

She asked me.

She asked you?

Yeah, she thinks the trip
needs my personal touch.

Oh, really? Well, p-professional touch.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. No touch!

Right. There's no touching!

Geez! Don't make a thing about this.

What thing?!

Uh, the thing about the college girlfriend

you never broke up with or where she wants

to sleep with you in a little pup tent?!

There... there's no
correct answer to that quiz.

Mike...

I'm not gonna cheat on you, Vanessa.

I know that.

I saw "Fatal Attraction."
I know how affairs end.

Boom, boom, in the bathtub.

And we just re-tiled.

Honey... this is not gonna happen.

Listen, honey, I'm not worried
about you, but Billie...

She never married, right?

- Right?
- Well...

So, in her mind, there might
still be a relationship.

Oh, come on! What's with women?!

If a guy doesn't call you
in 30 years, it's over!

Listen, honey, honey,
you need to talk this

through with her... for
your sake and for hers.

You don't want to be
trapped with an upset woman

on a Mountain where you can't
just walk into another room.

Yikes.

You need to find out if she
is still in love with you...

...and if she is, you need
to give her some closure.

You want me to break up with a
woman I haven't dated in 30 years!

Or we can just stand here
and keep talking about it.

I'll be in the other room.

Hold on, hold on!

Is that you, Mr. Larabee?

You look 15 years younger in that hat!

Yeah!

And that's not just 'cause that's how long
ago people were actually wearing those.

I don't know.

I-I just don't know if
the hat says "Chuck."

Mm.

Well, if it was a talking hat,
I'd be selling it for more than $2.

I wonder if Carol will like it on me.

Well, I can tell you who will hate it.

My dad.

Sold.

Oh, rats!

I'm sorry. I forgot.

That hat is actually reserved.

But could be unreserved,
eh, for the right price.

Okay, how much? $10.

I'll give you $3. Deal.

Ha! I would've gone as high as $5.

Ha! I would've taken $1.

Mm.

Now...

Let's you and me talk accessories, huh?

You know what those crazy
hipsters who wear those hats

are always carrying around with them?

Stuffed animals.

I don't think so, but, uh, lady
does need a new chew toy, so, uh...

I'll give you 50 cents.

Uh, sorry.

No. That one shouldn't be in there.

Okay, 75!

It's not for sale.

Mandy... sell the man the stupid bear.

That stupid bear is a gift from me.

You want someone with no
emotional attachment to anything?

Look in the mirror.

Nice piece of theater!

I'll give you a dollar just for that.

Yeah?

Oh, hi, Billie. What's up?

Hey. Oh, no tie.

I like it!

You always did get more
handsome the less you had on.

Yeah. Right!

All right, so, let's
start planning this trip!

Good deal. Let's do that.

You know, I had one
question, though, for you.

The other day, you said something
about you and me taking the trip.

What'd you mean "you and me"?
What exactly did you mean?

Oh, I'm sorry. That... that was confusing.

Yeah.

What I meant was just you and me.

Are all the questions this easy?

I'm just saying that I've
got a really good crew,

and I'm not sure it's a good
idea for us going out there alone.

Oh, I am!

I know it was a long
time ago, but when we

used to climb together,
it was really magical.

And we can't get that with
a bunch of people around.

Right. Well, speaking
about stuff that happened

a long time ago, I was
just telling my wife,

I-I don't think,
technically... We ever broke up.

Well, that's true.

So I guess you're cheating
on me with your wife.

You little two-timing rascal.

Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, I was... I was telling
Vanessa, my wife, you know,

the woman I'm married to that, uh...

The feelings between us
have just kind of faded away.

Oh, I don't know about faded away.

I was pretty ticked off
at you when I got back

and heard that you had met somebody.

I kept hoping that it
would end, but, eventually,

I got the feeling that it wouldn't.

'Cause I got married.

That was a big clue.

Yeah.

But look at us after all these
years, getting back together...

Mm... Hitting the road,
just like old times!

Ah, or new times where I'm married!

Why do we keep talking about your wife?

We got a trip to plan.

Oh, and don't forget.

When we're not camping,

let's find a real comfortable
hotel that we can stay in.

You might remember I like a real soft bed.

I do remember that!

Okay, so... So, what's
the first destination, huh?

Your office!

Come here for a minute.

So Billie's still in love with you.

That's fantastic!

The chemistry will really
make that ad campaign pop!

If I was still going on the trip.

Uh, what are you talking about?

I'm not... uh, it's not like
anything's gonna happen between you two.

I mean, the loyalty to your
wife borders on the pathological!

So, what do we do about Billie?

You want me to manipulate
the woman's emotions

just so we can sell climbing gear?

Let me think, all right?

Yes.

No, you don't.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do, yes.

- Ed?
- Oh, all right.

Of course not, of course not.

I just... I just don't
want to lose her business

to those idiots at Climber's World!

A long time ago, you and I agreed
never to put profit before people.

Yes, well, that was before
we were making any profits.

Now that we're successful,
maybe we should update that.

I think the reason we are
successful is we didn't update that.

You're annoying. You know that?

Eh...

Okay.

Gonna let her down easy, Mike?

Well, that's my intent.

And if it doesn't work...

Name the jet after me.

Mandy, calm down.

I didn't sell the bear.

Why not?

It obviously means nothing to you.

Why don't you toss it in the fireplace?

Monster.

I forgot you gave this to Boyd.

You know how many of these
we have in the closet?

Sometimes I grab one
just to mop up a spill.

You really don't remember that thing?

I'm trying, but my memory is a little...

Fuzzy-wuzzy!

Sorry.

I didn't give it to Boyd.

I gave it to you.

Ohhhh.

This is that bear?

Okay. Are you just saying
that, or do you really remember?

I remember perfectly.

You gave me this the day
I found out I was pregnant.

I was terrified to tell mom and dad.

I thought my life was over, but...

You and I talked all night.

Yeah, it was a really special memory
for me, but I guess it wasn't for you.

Oh, t-the bear was sweet, but...

What I'll never forget is
the note that came with it.

Yeah, right.

It said, "this isn't the end of your life.

It is the beginning of a great new one."

Lucky guess.

Hmm. Oh, what's that?

Here.

You kept it?

Yeah.

When I have a bad day, I read
it, and it makes me feel better.

I read it a lot.

Wow.

I already had beautiful handwriting.

Hey, thanks.

Means a lot that you kept it.

You know, when I gave you
that, it... it had eyes.

Oh, yeah. Uh, Boyd pulled them off.

He... he went through a phase where he
thought his animals were staring at him.

Mm.

He's a weird kid.

Yeah.

You're not gonna get 50
cents for a blind bear.

Uh... No, but this bear isn't for sale.

Some parts of the past
are worth holding on to.

Aww.

Yeah.

Just... Just nothing you wear.

Oh, hey. He's back.

Before I say anything
else, I'm gonna tell you,

I'm not going on that trip with you.

What?

If this means you're gonna sign with
climber's world, so be it, but I don't think

it's fair to go on a trip with you alone
when you're clearly in love with me.

Sweetheart, who are you talking to?

W-who's that?

That's Gordon, my fiancee.

Oh.

Gordon, say hi to Mike.

Uh, hi, Mike.

H-hey... Gordon.

Nice to meet you.

I wish I'd met you yesterday!

Honey, I'll call you later.

Love you.

That was to him, not to you.

Mm-hmm.

So, that's cool.

Fiancee, yeah.

How big is the dude?

Oh... About average.

- Great.
- For a Navy S.E.A.L.

I feel like an idiot.

Let's get back to this itinerary and
just put all this behind us, okay?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Let's roll around in it for a little while.

You know, I'm really flattered that
you thought what we had was so special.

Was it really that good for you?

Well, I just know how hard it
is to get over a guy like me.

How about we start with Mount Temple?

Mike...

I hope I didn't do anything to lead you on.

You know, it's that accent of yours.

Everything you say sounds like flirting.

Oh, I don't know about that.

There you go again.
Damn, we're on a hayride!

Look at that!

And you were willing
to bust this whole thing

because you were worried about my feelings?

Well, just 'cause we're in the past
doesn't mean I don't care about you.

Well, that's good to know.

And, also, I didn't want to have

any bad feelings between us
when I'm hanging on a rope

that you'd be able to cut.

You know, I didn't go with
climber's world because...

They've forgotten that the
business is all about the people.

Yeah, we don't forget that around here.

I can tell.

That's why this kind of place
is where I want to call home.

Great.

And sorry about this.

No hard feelings?

No hard feelings.

Welcome aboard! Thanks.

Oh, Mike!

Deal's back on, gentlemen!

Don't worry, Vanessa.

I'll take it real slow to keep Mike safe.

Oh, you know, I think I'll be all right.

I'm spry enough to keep up with you.

Yeah, he hurt himself picking
up the paper yesterday.

That's 'cause it was stuck in a hedge.

That was a very dangerous hedge.

There are no dangerous
hedges in the mountains.

You know, Eve was a good rock climber, too.

Mm-hmm. Oh, is that right?

Oh, well, yeah.

I spend more time on my music now.

Well, it shows.

That song that you played us
before dinner was beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

I'm just trying to let her know how difficult
it is to get in the music business.

Well, some people pull it off.

And with a voice like Eve's, I think
she's got a pretty good shot at it.

But what do I know
about the music business?

Vanessa, I loved dinner!

You're beautiful.

You can cook.

You're quite a catch.

Oh, you are so sweet. Thank you.

Honey, she's not hitting on
you, that's just her accent.

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