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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,400
.000.
2
00:00:03,685 --> 00:00:05,805
Okay, everything is all set
for my ski trip with Kyle.
3
00:00:05,835 --> 00:00:08,302
Yeah, honey, listen, it's gonna
be a pretty warm weekend.
4
00:00:08,337 --> 00:00:09,770
You're gonna be skiing in slush.
5
00:00:09,806 --> 00:00:11,238
I think it'll be fine.
6
00:00:11,274 --> 00:00:12,640
Don't worry about it.
7
00:00:12,675 --> 00:00:14,842
I hate to see you stuck
in a room all weekend.
8
00:00:14,877 --> 00:00:15,943
Um, you know what?
9
00:00:15,978 --> 00:00:18,579
I'm pretty sure Kyle is
bringing a deck of cards.
10
00:00:18,614 --> 00:00:19,947
You know, I'll call Arapahoe.
11
00:00:19,982 --> 00:00:21,682
They probably have snow at altitude...
12
00:00:21,718 --> 00:00:24,118
Mom, it's not that kind of a ski trip.
13
00:00:24,153 --> 00:00:27,188
Oh. You know, if you really
loved me, you'd lie to me.
14
00:00:27,223 --> 00:00:28,489
I just tried.
15
00:00:28,524 --> 00:00:31,058
Bye! Love you.
16
00:00:31,494 --> 00:00:32,793
Hey, Eve! (Groans)
17
00:00:32,829 --> 00:00:34,829
- How was school?
- Awful.
18
00:00:34,864 --> 00:00:38,666
Why can't my chemistry teacher go cook
meth and die in a hail of bullets?
19
00:00:38,701 --> 00:00:42,970
Eve, you know I'm only up to season four!
20
00:00:43,005 --> 00:00:45,272
Sorry. I just... I
just hate chemistry.
21
00:00:45,308 --> 00:00:47,208
It has nothing to do with life.
22
00:00:47,243 --> 00:00:50,578
Uh, except that it is
the basis of all life.
23
00:00:50,613 --> 00:00:53,314
Uh, but as you kids say, whatevs.
24
00:00:53,349 --> 00:00:58,652
Okay, I know I'm gonna regret saying this,
but is there any possible way you could...
25
00:00:58,688 --> 00:00:59,787
Tutor you in chemistry?
26
00:00:59,822 --> 00:01:01,555
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
27
00:01:01,591 --> 00:01:03,257
Okay. That regret came quick.
28
00:01:03,292 --> 00:01:05,726
Everybody always goes
to your father for help,
29
00:01:05,762 --> 00:01:08,129
but not this time, and
you want to know why?
30
00:01:08,164 --> 00:01:10,831
Because science is my domain.
31
00:01:10,867 --> 00:01:11,932
Yeah...
32
00:01:11,968 --> 00:01:14,935
That, and when I went to go ask
dad, he said, "talk to mom."
33
00:01:14,971 --> 00:01:18,305
He knows that science is my domain.
34
00:01:18,341 --> 00:01:20,341
(Laughs) Hey, guys.
35
00:01:20,376 --> 00:01:23,043
Hey! Hey, how was hockey
practice, my little goon?
36
00:01:23,079 --> 00:01:26,380
Really, really, really bad.
37
00:01:26,415 --> 00:01:30,584
Oh, yeah, I've had practices like that,
where I'm struggling, and I get to see
38
00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:32,653
how hard sports are for everyone else.
39
00:01:32,688 --> 00:01:33,754
It passes.
40
00:01:34,824 --> 00:01:37,591
Hey, honey, why is...
Why is Boyd so upset?
41
00:01:37,627 --> 00:01:40,261
Probably the looming debt crisis.
42
00:01:40,296 --> 00:01:42,263
Or the fact that his coach was arrested
43
00:01:42,298 --> 00:01:44,665
in front of all the
players today. (Gasps)
44
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:45,966
- Coach Boggs?
- Mm-hmm.
45
00:01:46,002 --> 00:01:48,369
He was arrested.
46
00:01:48,404 --> 00:01:51,272
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I could see that.
47
00:01:51,307 --> 00:01:54,241
Apparently, he refused to pay his taxes.
48
00:01:54,277 --> 00:01:59,346
Mm. Well, we all talk about doing that,
but that son of a gun actually did it.
49
00:01:59,382 --> 00:02:02,817
Well, that's probably why he had
the money to sponsor the team.
50
00:02:02,852 --> 00:02:07,087
How dare that maniac use his money to
enrich the lives of little Denver kids
51
00:02:07,123 --> 00:02:10,991
when he could be sending his money
to be wasted in Washington.
52
00:02:11,027 --> 00:02:12,827
Problem is, we have no coach now.
53
00:02:12,862 --> 00:02:14,528
Why don't you get one of
the other parents to coach?
54
00:02:14,564 --> 00:02:16,096
What other parent's gonna coach?
55
00:02:16,132 --> 00:02:17,865
Well, what about Ryan? He could coach.
56
00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:20,401
- Oh, there's a good idea.
- Yeah.
57
00:02:20,436 --> 00:02:23,604
And we could get the Dalai
Lama to lead Seal Team Six.
58
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:26,145
Wait a minute. Wait, wasn't
he... wasn't he, like,
59
00:02:26,175 --> 00:02:27,675
an all-star hockey player in high school?
60
00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:29,109
Yeah, but he's like soft serve.
61
00:02:29,145 --> 00:02:30,456
He just oozes out of the nozzle.
62
00:02:30,487 --> 00:02:31,111
Hey, look.
63
00:02:31,147 --> 00:02:32,780
You want Boyd to play on a team?
64
00:02:32,815 --> 00:02:36,250
Unless you can think of somebody
better, I think Ryan's your best bet.
65
00:02:36,285 --> 00:02:39,320
(Groans) I have to
ask Ryan to coach a team.
66
00:02:39,355 --> 00:02:43,123
I'm afraid I'll end up
in his feelings journal.
67
00:02:43,159 --> 00:02:46,160
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
68
00:02:49,365 --> 00:02:50,865
Ah, my favorite Canadian.
69
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:53,200
Hey. And here come the jokes.
70
00:02:53,236 --> 00:02:55,102
Oh, no jokes here. I love Canada.
71
00:02:55,137 --> 00:02:57,071
We'll never build a wall up there.
72
00:02:57,106 --> 00:02:59,940
Sorry to hear about Boyd's coach
getting busted for tax evasion?
73
00:02:59,976 --> 00:03:05,980
Yeah, we're actually gonna hold a
car wash to try and raise $635,000.
74
00:03:06,015 --> 00:03:07,748
Otherwise, no coach.
75
00:03:07,783 --> 00:03:09,316
Which is the reason why
I asked you down here.
76
00:03:09,352 --> 00:03:12,219
I want you to look around, and
pick out somebody in this room
77
00:03:12,255 --> 00:03:14,588
that you think could
coach Boyd's hockey team.
78
00:03:14,624 --> 00:03:17,691
And it can't be Chuck,
me, or any of my employees.
79
00:03:20,229 --> 00:03:21,295
Oh, no. No.
80
00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:24,098
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
81
00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:27,067
No, while it is true I am
pretty great on the blades,
82
00:03:27,103 --> 00:03:30,804
I would rather use these smooth moves...
83
00:03:33,809 --> 00:03:37,645
...to teach Boyd something a little
less competitive, like figure skating.
84
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,615
Yeah, something gentle,
like Tonya Harding did.
85
00:03:41,651 --> 00:03:43,617
Kneecapping.
86
00:03:44,587 --> 00:03:46,053
Not cool.
87
00:03:47,223 --> 00:03:50,958
Look, as much as I'd like my grandson to star
in the ice capades, he likes ice hockey.
88
00:03:50,993 --> 00:03:52,793
My dad coached me, okay?
89
00:03:52,828 --> 00:03:54,662
Fathers coaching sons...
90
00:03:54,697 --> 00:03:56,163
(Deep voice) Not cool.
91
00:03:56,198 --> 00:03:58,999
Is that your imitation of Chuck?
92
00:03:59,035 --> 00:04:00,134
Not good.
93
00:04:01,404 --> 00:04:02,603
What's the real problem here?
94
00:04:02,638 --> 00:04:04,171
It just gets weird, okay?
95
00:04:04,206 --> 00:04:06,807
The kids think that the
father's favoring the son
96
00:04:06,842 --> 00:04:09,476
and that's why I never
felt like one of the guys.
97
00:04:09,512 --> 00:04:11,612
So now's your chance to become one.
98
00:04:11,647 --> 00:04:13,080
Coach the team. Why me?
99
00:04:13,115 --> 00:04:15,983
I mean, you can get anyone
to coach little kids, okay?
100
00:04:16,018 --> 00:04:20,621
It doesn't take a genius to run a
power play or call a line change
101
00:04:20,656 --> 00:04:25,793
or devise a neutral zone trap that
David Blaine couldn't escape.
102
00:04:25,828 --> 00:04:28,228
See, it doesn't take a genius.
103
00:04:28,264 --> 00:04:29,797
Right up your alley.
104
00:04:32,401 --> 00:04:34,201
You know what, Mike? I'll do it.
105
00:04:34,236 --> 00:04:35,269
Great. One condition...
106
00:04:35,304 --> 00:04:37,004
I want you to be tough on those kids.
107
00:04:37,039 --> 00:04:40,341
You keep that tofu in the dairy case.
108
00:04:40,376 --> 00:04:42,009
Hockey's a red meat sport.
109
00:04:42,044 --> 00:04:43,477
(Laughs) Oh, Michael.
110
00:04:43,512 --> 00:04:46,780
You would never put tofu in the dairy case.
111
00:04:46,816 --> 00:04:50,751
Leave all your huggy, organic
crap outside the rink, okay?
112
00:04:50,786 --> 00:04:52,486
You know what? I'll coach the way I coach.
113
00:04:52,521 --> 00:04:55,456
Just spitballing here, but we
want just the opposite of that.
114
00:04:56,131 --> 00:04:59,131
You know, why are we even having this
conversation? We don't have a sponsor?
115
00:04:59,161 --> 00:05:00,894
Oh, yeah, we do. Huh?
116
00:05:00,930 --> 00:05:02,296
I had these made up already.
117
00:05:02,331 --> 00:05:04,098
Look at that.
118
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:06,367
"Outdoor Man Predators."
119
00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:10,571
All right, it's a little rough for a vegan.
120
00:05:10,606 --> 00:05:13,007
Just pretend that they're hunting truffles.
121
00:05:13,943 --> 00:05:17,311
122
00:05:17,346 --> 00:05:19,380
All right, let's try it again.
123
00:05:19,415 --> 00:05:22,583
You know what they say...
Seventh time's the charm.
124
00:05:22,618 --> 00:05:24,184
(Sighs)
125
00:05:24,220 --> 00:05:27,287
If the PH balance is correct,
the strip will turn blue.
126
00:05:29,291 --> 00:05:32,292
Ah, pink. Damn it, it's another girl!
127
00:05:33,629 --> 00:05:36,964
That's what your dad said
when he saw Mandy's ultrasound.
128
00:05:36,999 --> 00:05:41,068
This kept happening to Scott and I when
we were doing the experiment in class.
129
00:05:41,103 --> 00:05:43,203
Oh, who's Scott? My lab partner.
130
00:05:43,239 --> 00:05:46,874
He's a great lacrosse player, but
when it comes to chemistry...
131
00:05:46,909 --> 00:05:49,343
He's a great lacrosse player.
132
00:05:49,378 --> 00:05:51,245
Well, you can't blame it on him.
133
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,413
He's not here.
134
00:05:52,448 --> 00:05:54,648
He's not the one who
titrated that thiosulfate.
135
00:05:54,683 --> 00:05:57,684
Mother, I will burn you with this acid.
136
00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:58,986
(Laughs)
137
00:05:59,021 --> 00:06:03,157
Good luck. That's a base, but I think
it's adorable you thought it was an acid.
138
00:06:03,192 --> 00:06:05,626
That's it. I quit.
139
00:06:05,661 --> 00:06:08,762
That was what your dad said
when he saw your ultrasound.
140
00:06:08,798 --> 00:06:10,030
Look...
141
00:06:10,066 --> 00:06:12,066
It's the scientific method.
It's trial and error.
142
00:06:12,101 --> 00:06:14,568
You test something, it doesn't
work, you try something else.
143
00:06:14,603 --> 00:06:16,103
Save it, Bill Nye.
144
00:06:16,138 --> 00:06:17,571
Ah! Ah!
145
00:06:17,606 --> 00:06:20,441
An ambassador of science
who rocks a bow tie.
146
00:06:20,476 --> 00:06:22,709
I will take that as a compliment!
147
00:06:22,745 --> 00:06:24,511
Hey, hey. Hi.
148
00:06:24,547 --> 00:06:25,679
How'd the game go?
149
00:06:25,714 --> 00:06:28,415
Crushed 'em like some cheap tin cans, man.
150
00:06:28,451 --> 00:06:32,686
8-0... that other team was crying
like a bunch of little kids.
151
00:06:32,721 --> 00:06:35,289
Turns out Ryan is a really
good coach, you know?
152
00:06:35,324 --> 00:06:36,490
Huh.
153
00:06:36,525 --> 00:06:39,259
What are we having for dinner?
154
00:06:39,295 --> 00:06:41,462
So he wasn't all "soft serve"?
155
00:06:41,497 --> 00:06:42,529
No, no, no.
156
00:06:42,565 --> 00:06:44,932
Who would have thought
that a vegan who knits
157
00:06:44,967 --> 00:06:47,267
could be such a tough coach, you know?
158
00:06:47,770 --> 00:06:50,904
Are we having meth?
What are we eating here?
159
00:06:51,907 --> 00:06:55,442
So asking him was a smart suggestion, huh?
160
00:06:55,478 --> 00:06:59,713
Is there a "you were right,
honey" in my future?
161
00:06:59,748 --> 00:07:01,014
Depends on who else calls you honey.
162
00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:02,216
Mm.
163
00:07:02,251 --> 00:07:03,684
Ryan: I told you before, okay?
164
00:07:03,719 --> 00:07:05,119
You are not Wayne Gretzky yet.
165
00:07:05,154 --> 00:07:06,920
You still have to back-check. Easy.
166
00:07:06,956 --> 00:07:08,388
No, I'm not gonna go easy.
167
00:07:08,424 --> 00:07:09,957
If he's gonna play the game,
he's gonna play the game right.
168
00:07:09,992 --> 00:07:13,093
See what I mean? This is good.
169
00:07:13,129 --> 00:07:14,561
You know what? Grab your
stick, set up the net.
170
00:07:14,597 --> 00:07:15,996
We're gonna do have a
half-hour of wrist shots.
171
00:07:16,031 --> 00:07:17,264
Let's go. Come on! (Claps) Let's go.
172
00:07:17,299 --> 00:07:19,800
Yeah! You, uh, are you
happy with that, Mike?
173
00:07:19,835 --> 00:07:22,803
Yeah, if he had a better wrist
shot, it might have been 9-0.
174
00:07:22,838 --> 00:07:24,104
Nice going, dad.
175
00:07:24,140 --> 00:07:26,206
He was riding him like
that the whole drive here.
176
00:07:26,242 --> 00:07:29,409
I mean, you turned my sweet
husband into a loud-mouthed jerk.
177
00:07:29,445 --> 00:07:30,711
Thanks a lot.
178
00:07:32,615 --> 00:07:35,182
What are you thanking
me for? It was her idea.
179
00:07:36,886 --> 00:07:38,952
You were right, honey.
180
00:07:46,324 --> 00:07:48,991
Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man.
181
00:07:49,027 --> 00:07:50,827
You know what gets a bad rap?
182
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:51,961
Yelling!
183
00:07:53,865 --> 00:07:56,899
That probably startled you because
you don't hear much of it anymore,
184
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:59,702
unless you're sitting in front of
an old couple at the movie theatre.
185
00:07:59,738 --> 00:08:03,373
"I'm going to the lobby for some Mr. Pibb!
186
00:08:03,408 --> 00:08:05,808
It tastes just like Dr. Pepper!"
187
00:08:05,844 --> 00:08:08,544
Nowadays, no one's allowed
to raise their voice.
188
00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:11,781
Even when your kid screws up,
you're not supposed to yell.
189
00:08:11,816 --> 00:08:14,851
When I was growing up, any adult
at any time could yell at you.
190
00:08:14,886 --> 00:08:19,188
Hell, they could even hit you
with your parents' blessing.
191
00:08:19,224 --> 00:08:21,490
But now, even youth coaches
are being discouraged from
192
00:08:21,521 --> 00:08:23,786
yelling at their players, and
who is paying the price?
193
00:08:23,862 --> 00:08:25,094
All of us.
194
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,097
Because uncoachable kids
become unemployable adults.
195
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:32,902
So please, youth coaches of
America, yell at your players!
196
00:08:32,937 --> 00:08:36,572
Then maybe some day, the
rest of us won't have to.
197
00:08:36,608 --> 00:08:39,375
(Laughs) Hey.
198
00:08:39,411 --> 00:08:40,610
Hallelujah, Mikey!
199
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:45,381
Someone has to have the guts to tell
grown men to yell at little children.
200
00:08:46,851 --> 00:08:48,885
Coaching is so important for kids.
201
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,120
We used to have this wonderful coach.
202
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:54,757
He made run the stairs till we
threw up, then made us mop it up,
203
00:08:54,793 --> 00:08:56,893
then run the stairs with the buckets.
204
00:08:56,928 --> 00:08:59,328
Father O'Connell is a terrific guy.
205
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:05,668
Sounds like Ryan has the Predators
doing what Predators do...
206
00:09:05,703 --> 00:09:07,170
Killing. That's right.
207
00:09:07,205 --> 00:09:10,406
With Outdoor Man emblazoned
on the chest of the victors
208
00:09:10,442 --> 00:09:13,543
as they stand over their
vanquished third-grade foes.
209
00:09:13,578 --> 00:09:17,364
I've always wanted Ryan to show
some toughness, or anything
210
00:09:17,395 --> 00:09:20,583
an anthropologist would
identify as male behavior.
211
00:09:20,618 --> 00:09:22,852
Man, I loved playing hockey.
212
00:09:22,887 --> 00:09:25,087
A black man from Minnesota plays hockey.
213
00:09:25,123 --> 00:09:26,656
You're a walking stereotype.
214
00:09:27,425 --> 00:09:28,691
Hey, guys. Hey, Ryan.
215
00:09:28,726 --> 00:09:30,660
I heard the team is doing great, man.
216
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,028
Congratulations. Thanks.
217
00:09:32,063 --> 00:09:33,296
Yeah, they sure are.
218
00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:34,497
I got a great idea.
219
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,141
I say we print up some
t-shirts with one of those
220
00:09:37,172 --> 00:09:39,802
hard-ass hockey catchphrases
you bark at the kids.
221
00:09:39,838 --> 00:09:41,337
Hit me with one.
222
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,172
I quit.
223
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,874
Hit me with another one.
224
00:09:46,344 --> 00:09:48,344
No, I'm... I'm serious,
Mike. I'm quitting.
225
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:52,215
Look, Kristin and I talked about it, and I-I
just really don't like who I've become.
226
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:53,149
A winner?
227
00:09:53,184 --> 00:09:55,051
You'll get used to that.
228
00:09:55,086 --> 00:09:56,419
No, my father.
229
00:09:56,454 --> 00:09:59,188
That's the real reason I
didn't want to get into this.
230
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,257
As a coach, all he did was yell.
231
00:10:01,292 --> 00:10:04,126
That's what coaches do, is yell
until their voices give out.
232
00:10:04,162 --> 00:10:05,862
That's why they gave them whistles.
233
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,197
I had a coach throw a shoe at me.
234
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:09,232
Kid was still in it.
235
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,236
I promised myself I would
never be like that, okay?
236
00:10:13,271 --> 00:10:14,537
My dad's the reason I stopped playing,
237
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:15,938
and I don't want to ruin hockey for Boyd.
238
00:10:15,974 --> 00:10:17,607
You won 8-0. You're
not ruining it for Boyd.
239
00:10:17,642 --> 00:10:19,475
You're ruining it for the
kids on the other team.
240
00:10:19,511 --> 00:10:20,409
I'm sorry.
241
00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:22,111
I just can't do it, okay? I quit.
242
00:10:22,146 --> 00:10:25,348
You can say that as many times as you
want, I'm not putting that on a t-shirt.
243
00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:27,216
(Sighs)
244
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,118
Sounds like you're a
sponsor without a coach.
245
00:10:29,153 --> 00:10:30,486
Yeah, I mean...
246
00:10:30,522 --> 00:10:31,854
(Stammering)
247
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:34,257
You know, Chuck...
248
00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:35,291
This is gonna sound like
249
00:10:35,326 --> 00:10:36,792
I don't have another alternative...
250
00:10:36,828 --> 00:10:38,928
(Laughs) Why not?
251
00:10:38,963 --> 00:10:43,266
The world just might be ready
for a black hockey coach.
252
00:10:44,168 --> 00:10:47,236
253
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:49,906
Hi.
254
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,874
Hey. How was skiing?
255
00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:54,477
If you remember, it
really wasn't about skiing.
256
00:10:55,346 --> 00:10:56,666
In my mind, it was...
257
00:10:56,697 --> 00:11:00,983
And in your father's, which is why
I hid those skis you left behind.
258
00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:02,718
Aww, thank you.
259
00:11:02,754 --> 00:11:04,053
That's so nice.
260
00:11:04,088 --> 00:11:07,723
Ehh, are we having fondue?
Because I say fon-don't.
261
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,394
It's not fondue. It's an experiment.
262
00:11:11,429 --> 00:11:14,530
Eve and her lab partner are
having trouble with chemistry.
263
00:11:14,566 --> 00:11:17,066
You know, I don't know
if he's lazy or just dumb.
264
00:11:17,101 --> 00:11:18,701
Or hot.
265
00:11:18,736 --> 00:11:21,537
(Scoffs) You know, Mandy, you
always think it's about a boy.
266
00:11:21,573 --> 00:11:23,105
It's always about a boy, mom.
267
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,941
That's why you had to hide my skis.
268
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,579
You know, that is an
interesting hypothesis.
269
00:11:29,614 --> 00:11:31,547
Yeah, use all the nerd words you want.
270
00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:33,416
The subject is love.
271
00:11:35,853 --> 00:11:37,086
Chuck: (Laughs)
272
00:11:37,121 --> 00:11:38,754
Hey! How'd you guys do?
273
00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:39,722
We tied.
274
00:11:39,757 --> 00:11:40,637
- Yeah!
- Vanessa: Wow!
275
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,358
The perfect ending!
276
00:11:42,393 --> 00:11:44,727
Nobody's feelings got hurt!
277
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:50,399
What kind of a marine are you?
278
00:11:50,435 --> 00:11:51,567
This isn't war.
279
00:11:51,603 --> 00:11:53,069
This is kid's hockey.
280
00:11:53,104 --> 00:11:54,670
You should have seen those little guys...
281
00:11:54,706 --> 00:11:56,872
- Racing one way, then racing the other way.
- Vanessa: Aww.
282
00:11:56,908 --> 00:11:58,441
(Laughs)
283
00:11:58,476 --> 00:12:00,109
So it sounds like
everybody had a good time.
284
00:12:00,144 --> 00:12:01,777
Yeah, why focus on winning?
285
00:12:01,813 --> 00:12:05,381
Just gets in the way of racing one
way and racing the other way.
286
00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:06,682
Come on.
287
00:12:06,718 --> 00:12:08,317
Hey, Vanessa's right, man!
288
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:13,889
It should be about fun, and nobody had more
fun than this little guy, am I right, boy?
289
00:12:13,925 --> 00:12:16,092
- Yeah.
- Yeah! (Laughs)
290
00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:21,430
Undefeated, unstoppable! Unhurt feelings!
291
00:12:21,466 --> 00:12:23,099
Say hi to your wife. All right.
292
00:12:23,134 --> 00:12:24,133
Okay, this is great.
293
00:12:24,168 --> 00:12:27,503
I think everyone is happier now
that Chuck is coaching the team.
294
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,205
I want to quit.
295
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,108
Oh, looky there.
296
00:12:32,143 --> 00:12:34,777
He's picked up his dad's catchphrases.
297
00:12:41,497 --> 00:12:42,730
Mike: (Laughs)
298
00:12:42,765 --> 00:12:46,033
Nothing says, "I quit something"
like continuing to do it.
299
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,602
That would have made a great slogan
300
00:12:47,637 --> 00:12:49,704
for one of those old
cigarette commercials, huh?
301
00:12:51,207 --> 00:12:53,040
Why did you want to quit?
302
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:55,476
'Cause we didn't win.
303
00:12:55,511 --> 00:12:57,912
Well, you can have just
as much fun when you tie.
304
00:13:00,516 --> 00:13:02,917
Yeah, I didn't believe
it when I said it, either.
305
00:13:02,952 --> 00:13:04,619
Is coach Larabee a good coach?
306
00:13:04,654 --> 00:13:06,087
He's really nice.
307
00:13:06,122 --> 00:13:08,422
That would be a "no."
308
00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:10,424
Why can't my dad coach us?
309
00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:13,094
Because a lot of people think
it upsets you when he yells.
310
00:13:13,129 --> 00:13:14,829
I don't care.
311
00:13:14,864 --> 00:13:17,732
He just wanted to win, like I do.
312
00:13:17,767 --> 00:13:21,235
If I could get your dad to
coach, would you play again?
313
00:13:21,271 --> 00:13:22,703
Do you think you can?
314
00:13:22,739 --> 00:13:23,804
Of course I can.
315
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,072
I like to win, too.
316
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,240
I'm your grandpa.
317
00:13:26,276 --> 00:13:27,676
Where do you think you get it from?
318
00:13:27,677 --> 00:13:28,843
Oh, way to look over there.
319
00:13:28,878 --> 00:13:29,911
Stop!
320
00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:31,779
Huh?
321
00:13:31,814 --> 00:13:35,283
322
00:13:37,453 --> 00:13:38,719
Where's all the lab stuff?
323
00:13:39,856 --> 00:13:41,689
Have you finally given up on me?
324
00:13:41,724 --> 00:13:43,591
No.
325
00:13:43,626 --> 00:13:46,497
Today, we are going to
talk about the practical
326
00:13:46,528 --> 00:13:48,829
applications of the scientific method.
327
00:13:48,865 --> 00:13:50,464
Hmm, well, this should be quick.
328
00:13:51,801 --> 00:13:53,067
Sit.
329
00:13:53,937 --> 00:13:57,738
Why would Eve, who is very
smart, be struggling in a class?
330
00:13:57,774 --> 00:13:59,774
I pose this hypothesis. Mm-hmm.
331
00:13:59,809 --> 00:14:05,446
If Eve's ability to focus has
been compromised, then perhaps,
332
00:14:05,481 --> 00:14:08,582
she is attracted to her lab partner, Scott.
333
00:14:08,618 --> 00:14:10,785
Hmm...
334
00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:12,286
I've got a good one.
335
00:14:12,322 --> 00:14:16,791
If Eve's mother is annoying,
then Eve will leave the room.
336
00:14:16,826 --> 00:14:18,960
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
337
00:14:18,995 --> 00:14:21,195
I did my research on the Facebook...
338
00:14:22,632 --> 00:14:30,204
...and confirmed that Scott is indeed
a very handsome lacrosse player.
339
00:14:30,239 --> 00:14:31,772
I have another hypothesis.
340
00:14:31,808 --> 00:14:38,112
A grandma going on the Facebook to check
out high school seniors is creepy!
341
00:14:39,115 --> 00:14:45,987
I also noticed that you liked Scott's post
supporting gun control, unusual for a girl
342
00:14:46,022 --> 00:14:49,323
who can assemble an M16
with her eyes closed.
343
00:14:49,359 --> 00:14:54,028
I only liked that he has an opinion
on such an important issue.
344
00:14:54,063 --> 00:14:55,196
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
345
00:14:55,231 --> 00:15:01,402
Continuing my research, I contacted Cammy
to see if she thinks Scott is cute.
346
00:15:01,437 --> 00:15:03,037
Okay, now I have to move.
347
00:15:03,072 --> 00:15:04,305
Why would you do that?
348
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:06,774
Control group.
349
00:15:06,809 --> 00:15:12,646
But I still felt I needed one more piece
of evidence to prove my hypothesis.
350
00:15:12,682 --> 00:15:13,614
Like what?
351
00:15:13,649 --> 00:15:15,683
(Singsong) Eve likes Scott.
352
00:15:15,718 --> 00:15:18,352
Eve likes Scott.
353
00:15:18,388 --> 00:15:21,055
(Normal voice) Ha! You blushed!
354
00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:22,123
(Chuckles)
355
00:15:22,158 --> 00:15:23,858
Hypothesis proven.
356
00:15:23,893 --> 00:15:27,194
You have just been Bill Nye-ilated.
357
00:15:29,732 --> 00:15:32,066
Just when I thought science
couldn't get any dorkier.
358
00:15:32,101 --> 00:15:35,236
Sorry, Eve. You like him.
359
00:15:35,271 --> 00:15:37,905
It has been scientifically proven.
360
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:39,607
All right, fine. You got me.
361
00:15:39,642 --> 00:15:41,909
So what am I supposed to do about Scott?
362
00:15:41,944 --> 00:15:44,779
You know, this might surprise you,
but I'm actually more concerned
363
00:15:44,814 --> 00:15:46,914
with what you're gonna
do about chemistry.
364
00:15:46,949 --> 00:15:48,482
If I just knew if he liked me or not,
365
00:15:48,518 --> 00:15:50,851
I could focus and ace it like
all my other classes.
366
00:15:50,887 --> 00:15:54,355
Well, you probably shouldn't
be asking for advice
367
00:15:54,390 --> 00:15:57,792
from someone who hasn't
had a crush in 30 years.
368
00:15:57,827 --> 00:16:00,428
That is not true!
369
00:16:00,463 --> 00:16:02,663
Your father and I happen
to be very much in...
370
00:16:02,698 --> 00:16:04,598
Oh, mom. No, I got it.
371
00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:07,501
But, uh, you're gonna be happy,
'cause I'm gonna use science.
372
00:16:07,537 --> 00:16:09,837
All right, the Scott formula is this...
373
00:16:09,872 --> 00:16:11,839
One part laughing at his jokes,
374
00:16:11,874 --> 00:16:14,742
two parts sitting through
boring lacrosse games,
375
00:16:14,777 --> 00:16:16,677
and three parts the right wardrobe.
376
00:16:16,712 --> 00:16:20,214
Your clothes should be less G.I. Joe,
more, "Gee, I'm a girl."
377
00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:23,617
No, Eve, just be yourself.
378
00:16:23,653 --> 00:16:25,586
The one thing I know Scott would respect
379
00:16:25,621 --> 00:16:28,255
is if you work hard and help
him get through chemistry.
380
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:29,957
I appreciate it, mom. I do.
381
00:16:29,992 --> 00:16:31,459
But, uh, this is sort of Mandy's domain.
382
00:16:31,494 --> 00:16:33,772
Okay, we have a lot more to
get through, but remember,
383
00:16:33,803 --> 00:16:35,635
he's more scared of you
than you are of him.
384
00:16:35,666 --> 00:16:36,263
He better be.
385
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:38,966
No, see, that's the sort
of thing we need to work on.
386
00:16:43,906 --> 00:16:46,373
I want you to come back and
coach Boyd's hockey team.
387
00:16:46,409 --> 00:16:47,675
We've been through this, okay?
388
00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:50,077
When it comes to hockey, I'm
sort of like Jekyll and Hyde.
389
00:16:50,113 --> 00:16:51,278
Jekyll was a doctor.
390
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:52,813
Let's not get carried away.
391
00:16:52,849 --> 00:16:55,316
I've got this Bruce banner-Hulk thing.
392
00:16:55,351 --> 00:16:57,885
Again, another doctor.
393
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,788
You need a before-and-after
that starts with
394
00:17:00,823 --> 00:17:03,357
a mild-mannered,
stay-at-home mom-dad.
395
00:17:03,392 --> 00:17:05,759
Look, I don't want to be my father, okay?
396
00:17:05,795 --> 00:17:06,961
All he did was yell.
397
00:17:06,996 --> 00:17:08,095
When he was coaching you.
398
00:17:08,131 --> 00:17:09,396
Yes.
399
00:17:09,432 --> 00:17:11,165
And at other times, too.
400
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,364
When you're not coaching
Boyd, do you yell at him?
401
00:17:13,395 --> 00:17:14,001
No, never.
402
00:17:14,036 --> 00:17:15,469
Then how do you think you're like your dad?
403
00:17:15,505 --> 00:17:17,371
Don't yell at me!
404
00:17:17,406 --> 00:17:19,874
Your dad yelled at you
because he was angry.
405
00:17:19,909 --> 00:17:22,543
You yell because you're
passionate about hockey.
406
00:17:22,578 --> 00:17:24,145
Your kid will know the difference.
407
00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:25,846
Look, I appreciate what you're saying,
408
00:17:25,882 --> 00:17:27,882
but I really think he's
better off with Chuck.
409
00:17:27,917 --> 00:17:29,383
He's not better off with Chuck.
410
00:17:29,418 --> 00:17:30,251
He wants to quit.
411
00:17:30,286 --> 00:17:31,619
What? Why?
412
00:17:31,654 --> 00:17:35,055
Because he doesn't think coach Larabee
cares, and I have to agree with him.
413
00:17:35,091 --> 00:17:37,024
I've never seen a guy so happy about a tie.
414
00:17:37,059 --> 00:17:39,059
My Predators tied? How
could you let that happen?
415
00:17:39,095 --> 00:17:40,735
Hey, don't yell at me. Yell at your team.
416
00:17:40,763 --> 00:17:42,062
Coach them!
417
00:17:42,098 --> 00:17:44,865
I don't think this is the
best thing for Boyd and me.
418
00:17:44,901 --> 00:17:45,933
Boyd will be fine.
419
00:17:45,968 --> 00:17:47,635
He's got Baxter blood in him.
420
00:17:47,670 --> 00:17:50,104
We don't crumple when
we're getting yelled at.
421
00:17:50,139 --> 00:17:52,173
Okay, what about Chuck?
422
00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:54,375
Chuck's been shot at in Iraq.
423
00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:57,578
He'll be okay being let go
as a volunteer youth coach.
424
00:17:57,613 --> 00:17:59,280
Boyd really wants to quit?
425
00:17:59,315 --> 00:18:00,247
Yes, he really wants to quit.
426
00:18:00,283 --> 00:18:02,850
- Unless I coach?
- Unless you coach.
427
00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:05,753
All right. I'll do it.
428
00:18:05,788 --> 00:18:07,121
All right!
429
00:18:07,156 --> 00:18:10,591
Guess your scarf here's gonna have
to wait till after the season.
430
00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:15,129
Uh, "a," that is a cardigan, and, "b,"
I'll have it done by this weekend.
431
00:18:15,164 --> 00:18:17,598
Who does the knitting around here?
432
00:18:17,633 --> 00:18:18,999
Jekyll or the Hulk?
433
00:18:19,035 --> 00:18:22,903
The mild-mannered,
stay-at-home mom-dad. Great.
434
00:18:22,939 --> 00:18:26,574
Wait, so what you're telling me is
sometimes people yell at someone
435
00:18:26,609 --> 00:18:27,575
because they love them.
436
00:18:27,610 --> 00:18:29,210
That's right.
437
00:18:29,245 --> 00:18:31,412
You yell at me a lot.
438
00:18:32,381 --> 00:18:33,314
(Scoffs)
439
00:18:33,349 --> 00:18:34,848
Sometimes it's just yelling.
440
00:18:35,685 --> 00:18:39,553
441
00:18:39,589 --> 00:18:40,854
Typical.
442
00:18:40,890 --> 00:18:43,691
You can't fire the players,
so you fire the coach.
443
00:18:43,726 --> 00:18:46,427
Look. Look. I got to be honest with you.
444
00:18:46,462 --> 00:18:48,796
This decision came from upstairs.
445
00:18:48,831 --> 00:18:50,931
Upstairs? What
...we're upstairs!
446
00:18:50,967 --> 00:18:53,067
You are upstairs!
447
00:18:53,102 --> 00:18:55,369
Oh, no, no, no. I mean...
448
00:18:55,404 --> 00:18:58,038
"Upstairs."
449
00:18:58,074 --> 00:19:00,007
God told you to do it?
450
00:19:01,711 --> 00:19:02,810
We talk.
451
00:19:04,247 --> 00:19:06,513
But he said you could keep the hat.
452
00:19:08,461 --> 00:19:10,022
There's the skipper. How's my new team?
453
00:19:10,052 --> 00:19:11,485
Yeah, doing pretty well.
454
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,255
Although, some of the
kids miss coach Larabee.
455
00:19:14,290 --> 00:19:16,724
Oh, do they, now?
456
00:19:16,759 --> 00:19:20,928
Yeah, apparently, he leaves Pez
dispensers in the penalty box. Yeah!
457
00:19:20,963 --> 00:19:24,765
Yeah, I thought it might take the
sting out of getting punished.
458
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:28,235
Which is why the entire
team was in the penalty box.
459
00:19:28,271 --> 00:19:30,571
Yeah, with all these kids
still learning the game,
460
00:19:30,606 --> 00:19:32,206
I really could use an assistant.
461
00:19:32,275 --> 00:19:34,475
Huh? Yes.
462
00:19:34,510 --> 00:19:37,177
I am back in the saddle!
463
00:19:37,213 --> 00:19:38,779
Yeah!
464
00:19:38,814 --> 00:19:42,616
Well, technically, you're
the assistant coach.
465
00:19:42,652 --> 00:19:46,654
So you're sitting on the ass of the
horse with your arms around him.
466
00:19:52,221 --> 00:19:54,421
Okay, so Scott is gonna
make a lot of terrible jokes,
467
00:19:54,456 --> 00:19:57,757
and you're gonna have to laugh at them,
or he'll find someone else who will.
468
00:19:57,793 --> 00:19:59,192
So let's hear your fake laugh.
469
00:19:59,228 --> 00:20:00,427
(Clears throat)
470
00:20:00,462 --> 00:20:02,696
(Laughs)
471
00:20:02,731 --> 00:20:05,398
Oh, Scott, man, you're funny.
472
00:20:08,670 --> 00:20:10,770
What are you doing? What is this?
473
00:20:11,206 --> 00:20:12,372
Hey, I need something. No.
474
00:20:12,407 --> 00:20:15,842
Think more champagne bubbles and
less like a deaf donkey, okay?
475
00:20:15,878 --> 00:20:17,477
Like... (Giggles) Oh, my God.
476
00:20:17,513 --> 00:20:20,814
Scott, you're so hilarious.
477
00:20:20,849 --> 00:20:22,749
(Giggles) No, like a dumb baby, like...
478
00:20:22,784 --> 00:20:25,118
(Both giggling)
479
00:20:25,153 --> 00:20:27,320
What, uh, what are you
guys fake laughing at?
480
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,637
I'm trying to teach Eve for
when she has to talk to Scott.
481
00:20:29,658 --> 00:20:31,358
Oh, oh, you mean like this?
482
00:20:31,393 --> 00:20:37,097
(Giggling wildly)
483
00:20:37,132 --> 00:20:38,865
Like that?
484
00:20:38,901 --> 00:20:40,467
Yeah.
485
00:20:40,502 --> 00:20:42,002
Where'd you learn to do that?
486
00:20:42,037 --> 00:20:44,504
30 years of practice.
487
00:20:44,554 --> 00:20:49,104
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