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1
00:00:00,969 --> 00:00:02,834
Vanessa: Ready for
your big birthday surprise?
2
00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:04,536
Blindfolded?
3
00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:06,237
This could be anything from
a bullet to the head
4
00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:10,241
to that amazing
Coke/Pepsi taste test.
5
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:14,479
Well, we don't have any soda,
so good luck.
6
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,414
You know, the best part
about this birthday,
7
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:20,218
I don't have to be around my
horrible, annoying children.
8
00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:21,486
- Right here.
- Love you too, Dad.
9
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:22,320
Hurtful.
10
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:23,121
Yeah.
11
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,856
You needed to hear it.
12
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:27,625
So, how's it feel
to be a year older?
13
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,662
My eyesight's going.
14
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,030
All: Surprise!
15
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:33,631
[ Horns blowing ]
16
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,767
Happy birthday!
17
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:39,938
427, a big block '67 Impala!
18
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,606
How did you pay for this?
19
00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:44,342
I used the money Aunt Doris
left me when she died.
20
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:48,513
Well, now I feel bad for
napping during that funeral.
21
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,348
Well, I wanted
to get you a bazooka,
22
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,951
but, apparently,
there are laws.
23
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:55,086
So, you had the same car,
right?
24
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:58,323
So you were an old man
even when you were young.
25
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,658
Yeah, your dad had a hard time
giving that up.
26
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,627
But once we got pregnant
with Kristin,
27
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:04,963
he sold it so we could get
a bigger apartment.
28
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,331
Wow, so that explains
29
00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:08,933
that look you give me
from time to time.
30
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:11,669
And I'm still not sure
I made the right decision.
31
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,304
Mwah.
32
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:14,700
You know, the guy
we bought it from
33
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,941
was so excited to sell it
to Outdoor Man.
34
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,043
Oh, you know what? He said
it might need a little work.
35
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:23,014
The, um, the something-something
is something.
36
00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:26,117
Very common with '67 Impalas.
37
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,352
Your present
is from all of us,
38
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,220
because we know how much
you love working on cars.
39
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,422
Yeah, we don't get it,
but we know it.
40
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:33,257
You guys love me so much.
41
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:35,426
This is the best
birthday gift ever.
42
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:40,098
And it's another way for me
to avoid spending time with you.
43
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,966
Come here, beautiful.
44
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,235
Happy birthday to me.
45
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:53,111
You guys still here?
46
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,278
Yeah.
47
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:56,180
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
48
00:01:56,204 --> 00:02:00,204
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:04,856
Hey, birthday boy.
50
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,357
You, uh, want some company?
51
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:07,558
No, thanks.
52
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,160
What you working on?
53
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:10,995
Better hints.
54
00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:14,699
I'm just replacing
the spark plugs.
55
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:19,070
Oh. Why?
Did they lose their spark?
56
00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:20,405
Just looking for
a little Mike time.
57
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,706
Yeah.
58
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:24,475
Well, what about some
Mike and Vanessa time, huh?
59
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,377
Remember how fun that was?
60
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:29,781
You working on the car,
us talking.
61
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,517
I think if you remember,
it wasn't us talking.
62
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:37,722
Okay, okay, I get it.
63
00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:39,991
I'll just peel out of here.
64
00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,225
[ Laughs ]
65
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:43,161
Eve: Hey, Dad!
66
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:46,297
Um, the guy
who sold Mom the car is here.
67
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,700
Just tell him I'm not here,
please.
68
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:51,035
Too late! He heard you!
69
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,979
Outdoor Man, that wife of yours
is one shrewd negotiator.
70
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,850
I opened with a high price,
and she countered with "okay."
71
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,020
That's how
I got her to marry me.
72
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:10,088
I'm Joe.
73
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,556
Joe, Mike Baxter.
Nice to meet you.
74
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:13,471
You don't have to tell me.
I've seen your vlogs.
75
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,293
How can you
stand in front of a camera
76
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:18,129
and -- and be funny
like that?
77
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:20,698
A team of great writers.
78
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,067
I'm just kidding.
It's all me.
79
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,302
So, what'd you bring me?
80
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:25,369
Oh, I brought you
some spare parts,
81
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:26,871
and I brought you
a commuter mug.
82
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:31,209
Hey, listen, I prefer no eating
or drinking in the car, okay?
83
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:32,877
It's an Impala.
84
00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:35,046
It's not a diner.
85
00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:37,715
I appreciate the advice.
Thanks for stopping by, man.
86
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,117
Yeah, I mean, since I'm here,
87
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,852
I could show you
some stuff on the car.
88
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,055
I've got a lot of spare time.
I recently retired...
89
00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:46,257
For the second time.
90
00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:49,060
That's a great story.
91
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,528
Kind of a closer, actually.
92
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,563
So, I really appreciate it.
93
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:53,898
Appreciate the offer, though.
94
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:56,501
I'm just saying,
I'm a mechanic.
95
00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:59,604
You sell fishing poles.
96
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:03,808
I also sell
handguns and ammunition.
97
00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:05,510
I have a whole bunch
in the house.
98
00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,712
You're a fishing-pole salesman
and a comedian.
99
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,413
You know,
if you walked into a bar
100
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:12,850
with a priest and a rabbi,
you could be your own joke.
101
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,152
Come on.
Should we get to work?
102
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,353
You know,
I appreciate the offer,
103
00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:17,054
but I'm the kind of guy
who doesn't like other guys
104
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,322
messing with my tools.
105
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,091
No apology necessary.
106
00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:22,260
I am exactly the same way.
107
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:25,263
Let's get to work.
108
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:33,271
Aw, man.
She's a beautiful car, Mike.
109
00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,606
Oh, now, that's
a birthday gift.
110
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:38,976
My last birthday, Carol gave me
a blood-pressure cuff.
111
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,611
That's actually understandable
112
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:44,182
given that your blood type
is gravy.
113
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,317
That is a nice-looking vehicle,
Mike.
114
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,719
I still don't get
that whole old-car thing.
115
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,988
You said you had
a '65 'vette.
116
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,257
I did -- in 1965.
117
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:57,662
Pretty cool. You know
your way around a car.
118
00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:58,930
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
119
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,699
I paid my way through college
working in a speed shop.
120
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:04,535
You mean a chop shop.
121
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:08,206
We weren't selling stolen cars.
We were selling speed.
122
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:12,877
Wait, that didn't
come out right.
123
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:15,012
So, um, you -- you -- you
had an Impala
124
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,180
just like that one?
125
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,716
Very similar, but mine had
the original transmission.
126
00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:19,784
I had the M22 in mine.
127
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,385
The Rock Crusher.
128
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,421
Yeah.
129
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:23,888
More old-car talk.
130
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,757
Good. I need a nap.
131
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:27,692
Rock Crusher.
132
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,460
That was a kick-ass
transmission.
133
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,628
Loud as hell.
134
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,296
Yeah, and if that car
had the original tranny,
135
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,598
it would be worth
a lot more money,
136
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:34,633
I'll tell you that.
137
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:35,800
Yeah, well,
she's a great car, Mike.
138
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:36,734
Yeah, it is.
139
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:37,889
Did it come with any extras?
140
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,136
Oh, yeah.
141
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:43,474
Got a big cardboard box,
a "Tonight Show" mug, and a guy.
142
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,347
Boom!
143
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,616
Just scored tickets
to the Scorch Music Festival
144
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:52,817
in Santa Fe.
145
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:58,689
Gonna be a lot of this
and even some of this!
146
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:01,392
Mom's never gonna let you go to
an overnight concert alone.
147
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,894
She'll have to chaperone,
148
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:05,363
which means
there'll be a lot of this...
149
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:08,299
[ Squealing ]
150
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:09,767
[ Groans ]
151
00:06:09,802 --> 00:06:11,836
God. Mom dancing.
152
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,037
Yeah.
Take it from me --
153
00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:14,972
the only way you're gonna get
Mom's permission
154
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,274
is if you don't ask for it.
155
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,441
Huh.
156
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:18,609
Must suck to be Mandy.
157
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:20,244
It's great to be Eve.
Mom trusts me.
158
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:23,948
Oh, hey, Mom.
159
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:27,285
So, I have three tickets to
this music festival in Santa Fe.
160
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,320
Oh, I'm in!
161
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:29,854
Let's get jiggy with it!
162
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,356
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
163
00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:40,264
Uh, actually, the tickets
are for me, Cammy, and Sarah.
164
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,799
But we'd have to stay overnight
on Saturday.
165
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:44,402
- Where? - Sarah's aunt lives there,
so we could just crash with her.
166
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,703
Uh, what about
your schoolwork?
167
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,178
Oh, I'd get it all done
before we go.
168
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,473
Oh, all right. Sounds good.
Have fun.
169
00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:57,915
Oh, boy.
170
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:00,985
What?
171
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:03,688
Nothing. Just keep
doing what you're doing.
172
00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:08,259
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
173
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:13,331
For the love of God,
I know what I'm doing here.
174
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:14,899
I could rebuild a carburetor
in my sleep.
175
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,435
Looks like you already did.
176
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,098
It's ready to go.
I'm gonna start it up.
177
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,273
Hey, congratulations.
178
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:25,343
Hey, uh, is this important?
179
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:31,115
The main jet
to the carburetor, yeah.
180
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:32,516
How come you didn't
say something?
181
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:36,420
Uh, I said "oh, boy"
like a hundred times.
182
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,422
I got to
take the float bowl off now
183
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,957
and put this back in there.
184
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,826
Oh, man.
185
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,627
Gotcha!
186
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,663
You know, I carry a spare one
of those in my pocket
187
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,431
when everybody's working
on the carburetors.
188
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,800
It's my favorite gag.
Works every time.
189
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,035
[ Laughs ]
190
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:53,604
Yeah, that's why I take
a -- a slide whistle
191
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:56,007
to the proctologist.
192
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:59,910
Which is where
I'd rather be right now.
193
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,479
I'm going to get a beer.
194
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:02,780
Uh, none for me, thanks.
195
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,415
I'm the kind of mechanic
that doesn't like
196
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:07,451
to get hammered
when he's working on a car.
197
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,220
I'm not hammered,
198
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:10,255
which is pretty amazing,
199
00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:12,790
considering
the last three hours.
200
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,926
Hey, how about next birthday,
201
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:18,329
you just get me
a blood-pressure cuff?
202
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,333
Joe has got to go.
203
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:25,403
Here's a thought --
tell him.
204
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:26,771
I wouldn't want to be rude.
205
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:30,474
Mostly because
it hasn't been working.
206
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,575
I want you to tell him to go.
207
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,051
Oh, great, yeah,
make me the bad guy.
208
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,445
Just come out to the garage
and say
209
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,480
you're fed up with all the time
I'm spending with him
210
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,715
and he's got to go.
211
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,717
Honey, he's not gonna
believe that coming from me.
212
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:41,552
I'm -- I'm a sweetie.
213
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:43,320
You have it in you.
214
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,756
Do you remember the Vanessa that
showed up at the block party
215
00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:47,625
when the Shirazis brought
that peach cole slaw?
216
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:51,128
Peach cole slaw is my thing,
and everybody knows that!
217
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:54,465
Yeah.
Please, please use that.
218
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,633
[ Exhales sharply ]
219
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,637
Joe: Well,
that took long enough.
220
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,372
Apparently a bottle opener
is another tool
221
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,174
you're not familiar with.
222
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,309
It was my wife.
You know how it is.
223
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,278
Not really. Never married.
224
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:09,480
Lucky girl.
225
00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:11,248
Look, I don't mean to be
226
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,917
riding you so hard
about the car, okay?
227
00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:14,752
I just -- I just
wanted to make sure
228
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,387
you knew your stuff,
that's all.
229
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,322
Well, that's why
I kept you around, Joe.
230
00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:20,991
Hoping I'd win your approval.
231
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,526
Well, you could win something
a lot better.
232
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,894
Mm-Hmm?
233
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,429
How about the Rock Crusher?
234
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,231
The Muncie M22?
You have one of those?
235
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:30,367
I have the original transmission
for this car
236
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,603
with the VIN number
stamped on the case.
237
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:33,737
It's at my garage.
238
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:36,006
Hell yeah!
239
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:40,478
Vanessa:
Mike! I have had it!
240
00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:47,051
You have been out here
night and day for the past week,
241
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:50,054
and the rest of the house
is falling apart!
242
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,990
Now say goodbye
to your little friend!
243
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:57,962
Get your butt back in here
and start being a husband again!
244
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:05,703
It's mostly about cole slaw.
245
00:10:12,958 --> 00:10:14,223
Good morning, Mr. B.
246
00:10:14,259 --> 00:10:17,093
I don't need your attitude
today, Kyle.
247
00:10:17,429 --> 00:10:19,262
I'll work on that, sir.
248
00:10:19,348 --> 00:10:21,581
Okay, you're in a lousy mood,
249
00:10:21,616 --> 00:10:24,951
and Joe was in your garage
till 9:00 last night.
250
00:10:24,986 --> 00:10:26,586
I'm guessing
there's a connection.
251
00:10:26,621 --> 00:10:27,921
Damn right
there's a connection.
252
00:10:27,956 --> 00:10:29,916
That guy's promised
to bring over the transmission
253
00:10:29,925 --> 00:10:30,925
every day for two days.
254
00:10:30,959 --> 00:10:32,192
It's always some excuse.
255
00:10:32,227 --> 00:10:34,094
Today's excuse was he's gonna
spend time with friends.
256
00:10:34,129 --> 00:10:36,329
I know that's a lie.
257
00:10:36,365 --> 00:10:38,531
Sounds like Pete Zimbowski.
258
00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:40,233
He was
a snowmobile distributor
259
00:10:40,268 --> 00:10:42,102
who just loved
hanging out with me.
260
00:10:42,137 --> 00:10:44,337
Who wouldn't?
261
00:10:44,373 --> 00:10:47,006
He kept promising to show me
this prototype of a snowmobile
262
00:10:47,042 --> 00:10:48,141
that was also a jet ski.
263
00:10:48,176 --> 00:10:49,542
Oh, yeah.
The guy that drowned.
264
00:10:49,578 --> 00:10:50,710
Yeah.
265
00:10:50,746 --> 00:10:52,645
I think Joe might be
leading you on, too,
266
00:10:52,681 --> 00:10:53,913
just to spend time with you.
267
00:10:53,949 --> 00:10:55,081
Who wouldn't?
268
00:10:57,953 --> 00:10:59,919
So he may not even have
the Rock Crusher.
269
00:10:59,955 --> 00:11:01,554
Exactly.
270
00:11:01,590 --> 00:11:03,156
I've got to find out.
271
00:11:03,191 --> 00:11:04,891
This is where you come in.
272
00:11:04,926 --> 00:11:07,827
Oh, please tell me
you're not gonna ask
273
00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:11,931
your only black friend to
break into another man's garage.
274
00:11:11,967 --> 00:11:13,566
No, of course not.
275
00:11:13,602 --> 00:11:14,968
Would you?
276
00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:16,236
No!
277
00:11:16,271 --> 00:11:18,204
I'm gonna go check
the security cameras.
278
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,306
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. Sit down.
279
00:11:20,342 --> 00:11:22,675
That gives me a great idea.
280
00:11:24,413 --> 00:11:26,780
Hey, Mom, remember
that great conversation
281
00:11:26,815 --> 00:11:28,047
we were having yesterday?
282
00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:29,682
I'm sorry, Mandy.
I don't.
283
00:11:29,718 --> 00:11:32,385
Yeah. That's 'cause
we didn't have one.
284
00:11:32,421 --> 00:11:35,188
And that's 'cause
I've been ignoring you.
285
00:11:35,223 --> 00:11:37,090
Thanks for noticing.
286
00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:39,058
Okay. What did I do?
287
00:11:39,094 --> 00:11:42,128
Okay, whenever I asked to go
on overnights in high school,
288
00:11:42,164 --> 00:11:43,229
you always said no.
289
00:11:43,265 --> 00:11:45,331
But with Eve, it's like,
"oh, sure, have fun!
290
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:47,500
I love you more than Mandy!"
291
00:11:48,737 --> 00:11:50,637
Okay, all right, yes, Mandy,
you know what?
292
00:11:50,672 --> 00:11:51,871
I did treat you differently.
293
00:11:51,907 --> 00:11:53,339
Don't deny it.
294
00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:56,443
I did that because you
reminded me of your mother.
295
00:11:56,478 --> 00:11:57,877
I knew it. I'm adopted!
296
00:11:57,913 --> 00:11:59,212
Ugh!
297
00:11:59,247 --> 00:12:00,380
Oh, God, you know what?
298
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:02,315
When you compare me
with the rest of the family,
299
00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:03,249
I really do pop.
300
00:12:03,285 --> 00:12:05,819
No, honey.
I'm talking about me.
301
00:12:05,854 --> 00:12:06,920
When I was a teenager,
302
00:12:06,955 --> 00:12:09,155
I was just as wild
and impulsive as you are.
303
00:12:09,191 --> 00:12:10,757
Wow.
304
00:12:10,792 --> 00:12:12,492
What happened?
305
00:12:12,527 --> 00:12:14,561
I changed. I matured.
306
00:12:14,596 --> 00:12:16,296
And I think I turned out
pretty well.
307
00:12:16,331 --> 00:12:18,531
Yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna
nitpick or anything.
308
00:12:18,567 --> 00:12:20,533
All right. All right.
309
00:12:20,569 --> 00:12:23,036
The important thing is,
I trust you now.
310
00:12:23,071 --> 00:12:23,937
You do?
311
00:12:23,972 --> 00:12:25,939
Yeah.
Because you've matured also.
312
00:12:25,974 --> 00:12:29,108
I mean, look at the responsible
young woman you've become.
313
00:12:29,144 --> 00:12:30,310
It's wonderful.
314
00:12:32,948 --> 00:12:35,582
Oh, my God. I'm Mom.
315
00:12:39,654 --> 00:12:41,788
Still not comfortable
doing this, Baxter.
316
00:12:41,823 --> 00:12:43,256
Come on, Chuck.
317
00:12:43,291 --> 00:12:45,258
Just give him that
security spiel of yours
318
00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:47,293
while Kyle and I look for
the transmission.
319
00:12:47,329 --> 00:12:49,128
Yeah, anybody who messes
with Mr. B.
320
00:12:49,164 --> 00:12:50,597
And is hanging around his house
321
00:12:50,632 --> 00:12:53,967
is messing with me
and hanging around my house.
322
00:12:54,002 --> 00:12:56,236
Maybe I'll go in by myself
and you can take Kyle with you.
323
00:12:56,271 --> 00:12:57,437
No.
324
00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:58,705
Outdoor Man!
Hey, Joe. How you doing?
325
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:00,139
How are you?
Good to see you.
326
00:13:00,175 --> 00:13:02,141
This is my head of security
at my company, Chuck Larabee.
327
00:13:02,177 --> 00:13:03,276
- Hey.
- Hey.
328
00:13:03,311 --> 00:13:05,211
And Kyle, he just --
he just asked to come.
329
00:13:05,247 --> 00:13:07,013
Well, nice to meet you, Kyle.
330
00:13:07,048 --> 00:13:08,748
You didn't tell me
he was nice.
331
00:13:08,783 --> 00:13:10,517
Well,
you seem very nice, too.
332
00:13:10,552 --> 00:13:11,417
Oh, God.
333
00:13:11,453 --> 00:13:13,586
Hey.
334
00:13:13,622 --> 00:13:16,523
Come on inside.
335
00:13:16,558 --> 00:13:17,624
[ Whistles ]
336
00:13:17,659 --> 00:13:19,025
Yeah.
337
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:22,762
Damn!
This place is sweet!
338
00:13:23,899 --> 00:13:26,332
Why did you ever want to
come over to my garage?
339
00:13:26,368 --> 00:13:27,467
Well, I'm glad you like it.
340
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:29,269
You know, it's kind of why
I never got married.
341
00:13:29,304 --> 00:13:30,837
You know, no wife
could really understand
342
00:13:30,872 --> 00:13:32,972
why a man would need
a place like this.
343
00:13:33,008 --> 00:13:34,541
Oh, that's not true.
344
00:13:34,576 --> 00:13:35,708
My wife totally gets it.
345
00:13:35,744 --> 00:13:36,843
Sure.
346
00:13:36,878 --> 00:13:39,746
That's why she was yelling
at you the other night.
347
00:13:39,781 --> 00:13:40,847
Ooh.
348
00:13:40,882 --> 00:13:42,849
Trouble in paradise?
349
00:13:42,884 --> 00:13:45,985
How's that blood-pressure cuff
working out?
350
00:13:48,290 --> 00:13:49,822
This is a great garage, Joe.
351
00:13:49,858 --> 00:13:51,724
Um, but, you know,
places like this,
352
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,526
they get broken into
all the time.
353
00:13:53,562 --> 00:13:56,763
So I'd love to hook you up
with a good security package.
354
00:13:56,798 --> 00:13:58,831
He'll give you a discount.
355
00:13:58,867 --> 00:14:00,900
You know,
I don't need a discount.
356
00:14:00,936 --> 00:14:04,037
I made so much money
selling that car to his wife,
357
00:14:04,072 --> 00:14:05,672
I can retire a third time.
358
00:14:05,707 --> 00:14:07,740
[ Laughs ]
359
00:14:09,811 --> 00:14:11,911
Hey, let's go outside
the garage, Joe.
360
00:14:11,947 --> 00:14:14,347
You know, that's where
thieves always start.
361
00:14:14,382 --> 00:14:15,848
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
362
00:14:15,884 --> 00:14:17,850
Are you saying
the thieves start outside...
363
00:14:17,886 --> 00:14:20,753
Mm-Hmm.
...And then they come inside?
364
00:14:20,789 --> 00:14:23,289
You went to school for this,
didn't you?
365
00:14:25,093 --> 00:14:29,495
Don't touch anything, and don't
be messing in my garage!
366
00:14:29,531 --> 00:14:31,698
Well, isn't that
the garage-messer
367
00:14:31,733 --> 00:14:35,001
calling the other guy a guy
who's messing up his garage.
368
00:14:36,438 --> 00:14:38,871
Listen, watch the door.
369
00:14:41,776 --> 00:14:44,143
Not here.
370
00:14:44,179 --> 00:14:46,446
Not here.
371
00:14:46,481 --> 00:14:47,481
Not here.
372
00:14:47,515 --> 00:14:49,349
I'm beginning to think it's...
373
00:14:49,384 --> 00:14:50,984
Not here.
374
00:14:52,420 --> 00:14:54,487
[ Alarm blaring ]
375
00:14:59,494 --> 00:15:01,995
[ Blaring stops ]
I said don't touch anything!
376
00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:05,164
Hey, Kyle, he said
don't touch anything.
377
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,567
You already have
a security system?
378
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:11,004
Wow, you did go to school
for this, didn't you?
379
00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:12,505
Why didn't you just
say something?
380
00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:14,273
Because I didn't want to be
rude, Mike.
381
00:15:14,309 --> 00:15:16,342
Okay, maybe that's a lesson
you should work on.
382
00:15:16,378 --> 00:15:18,745
Really? Maybe you should
work on honesty.
383
00:15:18,780 --> 00:15:19,779
What is that
supposed to mean?
384
00:15:19,814 --> 00:15:20,880
You don't have
a Rock Crusher.
385
00:15:20,915 --> 00:15:22,081
You just wanted to
spend time with me.
386
00:15:22,117 --> 00:15:23,149
Is that what you think?
387
00:15:23,184 --> 00:15:24,917
Yeah. Outdoor Man.
You're starstruck.
388
00:15:24,953 --> 00:15:27,253
It happens.
389
00:15:27,288 --> 00:15:31,891
You make online videos
for a tent store.
390
00:15:31,926 --> 00:15:36,496
You're not exactly
David Letterman, okay?
391
00:15:36,531 --> 00:15:38,398
David Letterman is hilarious.
392
00:15:38,433 --> 00:15:39,433
And you know something?
393
00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:40,633
You're starting
to bother me, too.
394
00:15:40,669 --> 00:15:42,268
Get the hell out of here.
395
00:15:42,303 --> 00:15:44,137
You know, if I'm not
that nice a guy,
396
00:15:44,172 --> 00:15:46,439
I guess there's no reason
to stop by my garage.
397
00:15:46,474 --> 00:15:48,474
Great, because watching you
work on a car was torture.
398
00:15:48,510 --> 00:15:49,790
It was like having
to sit through
399
00:15:49,811 --> 00:15:51,844
six of those
"Santa Clause" movies.
400
00:15:54,816 --> 00:15:58,384
They made three of them.
Everybody knows that.
401
00:15:58,420 --> 00:16:01,487
It just felt like six!
402
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,093
What sounds good for dinner?
403
00:16:07,128 --> 00:16:11,898
Ah, five quarts of 15W-40
and a new Fram oil filter.
404
00:16:11,933 --> 00:16:13,132
What?
405
00:16:13,168 --> 00:16:14,734
Oh, were you
talking about us?
406
00:16:14,769 --> 00:16:16,703
I was talking about
the Impala.
407
00:16:16,738 --> 00:16:18,438
It's all I thought about
today at work --
408
00:16:18,473 --> 00:16:19,772
Getting back to
working on the car.
409
00:16:19,808 --> 00:16:23,710
Since Joe's out of my life,
it's just me and my other girl.
410
00:16:28,516 --> 00:16:30,717
Okay, just me.
411
00:16:35,169 --> 00:16:36,169
Hey.
412
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,569
When you steal a guy's car,
413
00:16:37,604 --> 00:16:40,705
you better find a better place
to hide it than your own garage.
414
00:16:40,741 --> 00:16:41,741
I didn't steal it.
415
00:16:41,742 --> 00:16:43,208
I was putting in
your Rock Crusher.
416
00:16:43,243 --> 00:16:44,576
Right -- what?
417
00:16:44,611 --> 00:16:45,911
The Rock Crusher?
418
00:16:45,946 --> 00:16:47,579
You -- you have
the transmission?
419
00:16:47,614 --> 00:16:49,080
I told you I had it.
420
00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:51,583
I figured it would be quicker
if I did it myself.
421
00:16:51,618 --> 00:16:54,453
You know, your beer-drinking
just slows the work down.
422
00:16:54,488 --> 00:16:55,821
Where'd you hide
the Rock Crusher?
423
00:16:55,856 --> 00:16:56,822
I looked for it yesterday.
424
00:16:56,857 --> 00:16:58,023
It was in the pit.
425
00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,791
Pit?
426
00:16:59,827 --> 00:17:00,859
You have a pit in here?
427
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:02,260
Yeah.
428
00:17:05,365 --> 00:17:08,700
You have a pit.
I've always wanted a pit.
429
00:17:08,735 --> 00:17:11,236
You can't have a pit these days
'cause of zoning laws.
430
00:17:11,271 --> 00:17:12,637
[ Chuckles ] Obama.
431
00:17:12,673 --> 00:17:14,406
Yeah.
432
00:17:14,441 --> 00:17:16,608
Yeah, you know,
that's his master plan.
433
00:17:16,643 --> 00:17:19,845
Invade Texas,
establish a new world order,
434
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,546
and then take
everybody's pit.
435
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,048
Okay.
436
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,917
Look, here's your spare key.
That's how I got it over here.
437
00:17:25,953 --> 00:17:27,619
Look...
438
00:17:27,654 --> 00:17:28,820
I appreciate it.
439
00:17:28,856 --> 00:17:30,589
I mean, thanks for putting in
the transmission.
440
00:17:30,624 --> 00:17:32,290
And if you ever want
to visit the car,
441
00:17:32,326 --> 00:17:33,959
you -- you stop by.
442
00:17:33,994 --> 00:17:36,094
You know, I work from
9:00 to 5:00, so stop by,
443
00:17:36,129 --> 00:17:39,464
you know,
between 9:00 and 5:00.
444
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:42,834
No need to. I got my own project
I'm working on.
445
00:17:42,903 --> 00:17:45,904
'67 GTO.
446
00:17:46,974 --> 00:17:49,274
'67 goat.
447
00:17:49,309 --> 00:17:51,109
Whoa.
448
00:17:51,178 --> 00:17:52,811
If you need any help
wrenching it, you know,
449
00:17:52,846 --> 00:17:54,112
I'd be delighted to come by.
450
00:17:54,181 --> 00:17:58,416
Yeah? Need some time to get away
from the old lady, huh?
451
00:17:58,452 --> 00:17:59,918
No.
452
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:02,554
Vanessa -- she's a classic.
453
00:18:02,589 --> 00:18:05,790
All her original parts.
454
00:18:05,826 --> 00:18:07,659
Yep, I wouldn't trade her
for anything.
455
00:18:07,694 --> 00:18:09,694
So what makes you want to
come around here?
456
00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:11,229
Is it our undeniable
chemistry?
457
00:18:11,265 --> 00:18:12,397
What?
458
00:18:12,432 --> 00:18:13,765
I don't get it.
459
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,933
It's this space.
460
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,502
This is a great garage.
It really is a great garage.
461
00:18:17,538 --> 00:18:18,970
And I'm a car guy,
always have been.
462
00:18:19,006 --> 00:18:20,872
No, you were a car guy.
463
00:18:20,908 --> 00:18:22,674
You're a family guy now,
okay?
464
00:18:22,709 --> 00:18:23,775
All right?
465
00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:25,610
This is what you gave up.
466
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,016
Yes, I did.
467
00:18:34,388 --> 00:18:35,987
- Hey.
- Hi.
468
00:18:36,023 --> 00:18:38,089
Sounds like
you got your car back.
469
00:18:38,125 --> 00:18:39,658
You heard me backing it in?
470
00:18:39,693 --> 00:18:41,393
I heard you
all the way on Hudson.
471
00:18:41,428 --> 00:18:43,828
Yeah, it turns out
this was just a misunderstanding
472
00:18:43,864 --> 00:18:44,996
between friends.
473
00:18:45,032 --> 00:18:48,300
Joe had the misunderstanding
that we were friends.
474
00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:50,602
So, no more Joe?
475
00:18:50,637 --> 00:18:52,737
Geez, I was afraid that
once you saw his garage,
476
00:18:52,773 --> 00:18:54,639
it would be no more Vanessa.
[ Chuckles ]
477
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:57,008
Yeah, but that pit --
that pit is just dangerous.
478
00:18:57,044 --> 00:18:59,144
Someone's gonna fall in that pit
and hurt themselves.
479
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:01,980
Damn, I wish I had a pit.
480
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,983
You know, Mike, we could fix up
our garage if you want.
481
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:06,785
We could take the kids' bikes
482
00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:09,187
and the Christmas decorations
out of there
483
00:19:09,222 --> 00:19:12,057
and move the washer
and the dryer into the basement.
484
00:19:12,092 --> 00:19:14,759
Might be the perfect place
for Mike time.
485
00:19:14,795 --> 00:19:15,795
You'd do that for me?
486
00:19:15,829 --> 00:19:16,962
Yeah, yeah. If you like.
487
00:19:16,997 --> 00:19:19,230
Um, sure.
488
00:19:19,266 --> 00:19:21,600
Just think about it.
489
00:19:21,635 --> 00:19:23,234
I did think about it.
490
00:19:23,270 --> 00:19:24,636
[ Laughs ] Okay.
491
00:19:24,671 --> 00:19:27,973
That was a little longer
than I expected.
492
00:19:28,008 --> 00:19:29,207
I will call the plumber
493
00:19:29,242 --> 00:19:31,343
and have him move the laundry
to the basement.
494
00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:32,611
Nah, I don't want to do it.
495
00:19:32,646 --> 00:19:34,679
I thought about it, and I like
the garage the way it is.
496
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,355
I like having all that
family stuff there.
497
00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,083
Okay.
498
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,320
Uh, what?
499
00:19:42,356 --> 00:19:45,056
I'm probably
going to regret this.
500
00:19:45,092 --> 00:19:46,858
But why don't you
get us some beers,
501
00:19:46,893 --> 00:19:47,993
come on out the garage.
502
00:19:48,028 --> 00:19:52,130
I'll work on the car
and we can talk.
503
00:19:52,165 --> 00:19:53,331
That'd be great.
504
00:19:53,367 --> 00:19:55,934
Good.
505
00:19:55,969 --> 00:20:01,539
You, uh, sure there's enough
"vroom" for me out there?
506
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:04,743
Yes, honey, there's plenty of
"vroom" out there.
507
00:20:11,673 --> 00:20:13,573
Hey, Mike Baxter
here for Outdoor Man.
508
00:20:13,608 --> 00:20:14,874
The invention of the wheel
509
00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:16,676
dates back
to the Neolithic period,
510
00:20:16,711 --> 00:20:18,778
about 6500 B.C.
511
00:20:18,814 --> 00:20:21,014
Over 8,000 years
of accidents later,
512
00:20:21,049 --> 00:20:23,383
Fred Lanchester invented
the disc brake
513
00:20:23,418 --> 00:20:25,186
and put a stop to that.
[ Chuckles ]
514
00:20:25,237 --> 00:20:26,837
It wasn't long
before automobiles
515
00:20:26,872 --> 00:20:30,273
fulfilled their true purpose --
Impressing Monica Kendall
516
00:20:30,309 --> 00:20:33,443
doing donuts
in the 7-Eleven parking lot.
517
00:20:33,478 --> 00:20:36,012
There was a time when I couldn't
imagine anything better
518
00:20:36,048 --> 00:20:38,415
than cruising around
with my high-school sweetheart.
519
00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:41,651
But then you drive your first
daughter home from the hospital,
520
00:20:41,687 --> 00:20:44,588
you drive your middle daughter
home from her first school play,
521
00:20:44,623 --> 00:20:47,624
and you drive your youngest
to a soccer practice.
522
00:20:47,659 --> 00:20:49,559
And your beautiful wife
gets in the car,
523
00:20:49,595 --> 00:20:54,130
and you think, "really,
you couldn't give me one son?"
524
00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:56,800
A man might be a 427 big block.
525
00:20:56,835 --> 00:20:57,934
Yowzer.
526
00:20:57,970 --> 00:20:59,836
But his family is the wheels.
527
00:20:59,872 --> 00:21:02,973
And he's not going anywhere
without his family.
528
00:21:03,008 --> 00:21:04,875
Believe me. I've tried.
529
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:10,799
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
530
00:21:10,849 --> 00:21:15,399
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38172
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