All language subtitles for Last Man Standing s04e19 Summer Internship.eng

I just want to say that I would
kill to be an intern at DKNY.

And I mean that literally.

Or figuratively.

Whichever one means that I
would actually kill someone.

(Chuckles)

Sounds like you'll fit in well
in the New York fashion industry.

If you get this position,
don't expect a lot of sleep.

Our interns are the first
ones in and the last ones out.

Sounds like me at a Nordstrom
shoe sale. (Chuckles)

You should know that I
am a very hard worker,

I'm detail-oriented,
and I'm always prepared.

But most of all, I'm
very good at thinking...

...on my feet.

Hey. You're home early.

Well, I'm the boss.

I snuck out while I wasn't looking.

How are you, sweetie?

Hi. Good.

So, it looks like my daughter
promoted you to laundrywoman.

Hey, don't forget to put your
delicates in a lingerie bag.

There is nothing unmanly about me
doing my family's laundry, okay?

Ooh! Hot zipper! Hot zipper!

You guys! I killed it!

What, the snake in the basement?

There's a snake in the basement?

Ah, don't worry.

Todd's more afraid of
us than we are of him.

He obviously doesn't know how big he is.

Not a snake, no.

I'm talking about the Skype
interview with the lady from DKNY.

- I got the job.
- Mike: Oh.

Girl scream!

Oh, honey! (Chuckles)

Congratulations!

Mom hug!

No, Mom, when you say it,

you don't have to run across
the room and then do it.

Dad hug!

(Vanessa scoffs)

Well, I'm proud of you. Good going.

So, uh, spending the summer in New York.

Yep. 10 weeks. It's gonna be amazing!

Oh, honey, you are gonna have so much fun.

But just remember, keep an eye
on your purse and your drinks

and your ability to care about others.

The former mayor Giuliani made New York
one of the safest cities in America.

New York cops... best in the world.

Yeah, just try to avoid being an
unarmed black man with your hands up.

That's clever.

You should put that on a t-shirt and
march bravely around Whole Foods.

Hey, how much are they gonna pay you?

Oh, yeah, it's unpaid.

But they found me a really cheap apartment,
and I'll be living off my savings.

And in return, I get
to say I worked at DKNY.

You know, you could do that here for free.

Aren't all internships unpaid?

No, we pay our interns at Outdoor Man.

We've been paying Kyle as
an intern, what, five years?

And I appreciate the opportunity, sir.

Dad, there have been
hundreds of applicants.

I can't pass this up.

I just want to make sure
you thought this through.

Yeah, I've been picturing
this since I was 12.

I'll have a mean boss and
a backstabbing co-worker,

but a nice, older gay
man will help me triumph

and become the best version of myself.

Listen, you've got a clothing business
that makes money in the basement.

Do you want to give that all up

just to make coffee and
go get people sandwiches?

Oof. That is an awful
lot to learn in 10 weeks.

Oh, she'll be getting an
education in capitalism, Mike.

You know, how people at
the bottom work for nothing

so the fat cats can get even fatter.

(Scoffs) Nice try, Ryan.
Nobody in fashion is fat.

(Chuckles) Yeah.

Yep, it's the new-and-improved
trickle-down economics.

Now without the "trickle."

You know a lot about
economics for a washerwoman.

Oh, this is gonna be great.

Mandy's gonna get experience
and make some valuable contacts.

It's called "paying your dues."

Like you do every month to
the communist party, comrade.

But only rich and middle-class
kids get these opportunities

because poor kids can't afford
to do a fashion internship.

It's too bad because they probably
know a thing or two about layering.

You know what?

He thinks this is a bad idea, which
means it's probably a great idea.

Yay!

My baby's going to New York
to be in the fashion industry!

Oh, Mom hug with... tears.

You can do it. It's okay.

Okay. (Chuckles) Aww, Mommy!

Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com

And this is where we
will put the brick oven.

It's an awfully large space for one oven.

Unless we're gonna cook Hansel and Gretel.

Hansel and Gretel?

We're gonna have to set some guidelines

for how exotic the meat
is we're cooking in it.

No, it... it has to be big, okay?

The animals we're gonna cook are big enough

to eat the animals on regular menus.

Is there any way we could put
in a... like, a charcoal pit?

'Cause in the Philippines,
they wrap pigs in banana leaves.

- Ed: Huh? Hmm.
- Absolutely outstanding.

That's why I carry banana
leaves and a machete in my truck,

just in case I run across a stray pig.

If he's gonna get a charcoal pit,
then I want a Moroccan mud oven,

which means we'll need mud, which
gives us a place to keep the pigs.

Mikey, it's all coming together!

Yes!

Ah, I get it.

You guys have traveled the world and
eaten everything in your path, okay?

But this is Denver where
we have health codes.

So, we are not cooking in dirt.

All right, yeah, but Mike could
sure entertain the customers

with a live pig and his machete.

It'd be like our version of Benihana.

Good morning, sirs.

Daughter of sir.

Yeah.

Where's that dopey grin you
always walk around with, huh?

This must be bad news.

I'm afraid so.

I want to take some time off, which means
you won't be seeing me all summer.

Still waiting for the bad news.

I want to go with Mandy to New York.

And there it is.

- It's for 10 weeks.
- 10 weeks?

Yeah, but it won't seem that long
because of those New York minutes.

So that's 70 nights alone with Mike's
daughter in the city that never sleeps?

Wonder if that oven's big enough for Kyle.

Well, it's okay with me
if it's okay with Mike.

It's not okay with Mike!

Dad, nothing is gonna happen in New York

that isn't already
happening here in Denver.

Spoken like a teenage mom.

Mr. B., Mandy means the world to me,
and I need to know that she's safe.

She's gonna be just fine.

If you won't give me the time
off, then I'll have to quit.

And I know that means
that if I ever come back,

I'll have to start at the bottom.

You already are at the bottom.

Well, then I should pick up the job quick.

(Gasps) Oh, wow.

Oh, hello, Miss Vanessa. (Chuckles)

Blanca, I am glad to see you.

This house is a mess.

Oh, yeah.

It looks like that time
you had that crazy party

with all those drunken women. (Laughs)

That was... my book club. (Chuckles)

Uh... Discussions get a little spirited.

Yeah, I remember cleaning
blood out of the tablecloth.

Gosh, I've been so busy
with these education classes,

I haven't had a chance
to get to the housework.

If only I had given birth
to people who could help me.

Embrace the mess, Mom.

Surrounding ourselves with germs
will strengthen our immune systems.

Uh, Blanca, you think you
can get to the kitchen today?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sewing downstairs for Miss Mandy.

I'm just on my break.

Wow, Mandy is really monopolizing
a lot of your time lately.

Oh, but I don't mind
because she pays me a lot...

(Chuckles)

As opposed to some other people.

- Oh, boy. Book club?
- No.

No, we can't meet again until
Andrea's stitches heal, so...

Hey, there's our future New Yorker.

You know what, honey?

I went to that travel store today, and I
got you a subway map and a guidebook.

That's a good idea.

And I got you a tennis
ball for hand exercise.

You want to make sure that
middle finger's in good shape.

That's, um... that's really sweet of you
guys, but I-I won't be going to New York.

Um, our grades came out today, and I
didn't maintain my 3.2 average, so...

But, hey, hey, wait.
Well, hold on a second.

Wait a minute. Wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

You... you lost the internship?

How do you get bad grades
in a fashion program?

Did you accidentally sew something
a normal woman could wear?

Listen, you've been doing
real well on your grades.

How did you drop the ball on this one?

Can we see your report card?

Report card? Really?
We don't get those, Dad.

This isn't grade school.

Well, it is U.C. Denver.

I'm pretty sure they have a teeter-totter.

I've got it. I've got it.
What if every customer's table

is shaped like the country
their meat comes from?

So... They'd only be allowed to eat
certain things based on their table,

or would we cut the table to a
certain shape after they order?

I feel like you're mocking me.

Morning, everyone.

- Morning. How you doing?
- Hey, Dad.

Listen, Ed, do we know anybody
in the fashion industry?

I want to get my daughter an internship.

Well, Kristin's got a restaurant to open.

She doesn't have time for that.

I'm not talking about Kristin.
I'm talking about Mandy.

She lost that internship
'cause of her G.P.A.

Was it too high for her to work in fashion?

Hey, I've got a buddy in Fort Wayne
who manufactures these hats.

That's not cutting-edge fashion.

You're not gonna see that on the runway

unless you're bringing in planes
during a snowstorm in Duluth.

Mandy could do worse than
studying the classics, you know?

She's got her heart set
on going to New York City.

Don't underestimate Fort Wayne.
There's a lot to do there.

Yeah, like drive to Chicago.

I feel like you're mocking me.

Blanca, thank God you
were able to find time

to come back and help us clean the house.

Oh, I appreciate the raise,
Miss Vanessa. (Chuckles)

Now the ball is back in Miss Mandy's court.

Oh, b... ooh!

What smells so good in here?

Well, Blanca and I are making a brisket.

So, half Guatemalan and
half whatever you are.

(Laughs)

- It's got mole sauce.
- Yum.

Yeah, you'll like it, honey.
There's chocolate in it.

- But I'm still getting dessert.
- Okay, yeah, yeah.

Mandy, listen to this, honey.

I got you another summer
internship in New York City.

It's from our high-end
ski-apparel people.

Oh, yeah, their stuff is
really fashionable. Yeah.

You know what? I even
look great when I fall.

(Chuckles) Usually off
a stool in the ski lodge.

Wow. You didn't have to do this.

It's no problem.

It's all set up, and
grades are not a factor.

Yeah. That's cool.

I mean, I-I was just
thinking about what you said.

Mm-hmm.

I don't have to intern
in the fashion business.

I'm already in the fashion business.

But, honey, you were so
excited about going to New York,

and... and... and I
bought you that subway map.

Why should I let the Anna Wintours
of the world throw coats at me?

I'm the one who should
be throwing coats at them.

I mean, seriously, what do these
people really have to teach me?

A lot. I've seen you throw.

I never said you didn't
have anything to learn.

Yeah, honey, you always
benefit being exposed to people

who are successful in your industry.

A lot of people in New York
want to expose themselves to you,

especially on the "J" train.

Honey, your dad has worked really hard
to set up this internship for you.

I know. You said you want to do this,
now you say you don't want to do it.

I'm confused.

I appreciate what you did.

I do.

But you're always telling
us to bet on ourselves,

and that's what I'm doing here, okay?

Come on, Blanca. We got rompers to sew.

Ah, it also sounds like we
have some negotiating to do.

Why would Mandy suddenly not
want to go to New York, huh?

I hope she wasn't freaked out
by that subway map I got her.

I mean, it was a lot of
letters and numbers and just...

No.

Something's happened, and that's not it.

Well, it's not because
she'd miss Denver... Or us.

Maybe... maybe it's Kyle.

That's it.

She just doesn't want to be away from Kyle.

No, you're wrong about that.

How can you be so sure?

Because I read people. I listen.

And I listened to Kyle when he said
he's going to New York with her.

You know, a nice man
would have told me that.

Well, you didn't marry a nice man.

But it does have something to do with
Kyle, so you're not completely wrong.

Ah. Flatterer.

She wants to go, he decides to go
with her, and she doesn't want to go.

Come on.

Yeah, well, it does make sense.

It... it does.

I mean, she wants to go to New York
to hobnob with fancy fashion people,

and I just can't picture
Kyle with that crowd.

So, she's putting aside her career for him?

That's wrong. I'm gonna
say something to her.

Good, 'cause you're great at
telling people they're wrong.

You know, if I was a nice man,
I wouldn't enjoy it so much.

I might not ever make it to New York,
but at least I'm the boss here.

Do you mind if I throw a coat at you?

Little girl, if you do, I'll
just put it on and leave.

Hey, guys, uh, Blanca, could I
speak with Mandy alone, please?

Oh, up the stairs, down the stairs!

This place is like "Downton
Abbey" without the funny accents.

Feel free to call me Milord.

Listen, honey, you've been doing
really good in school lately.

How do you explain the drop in grades?

I knew I was playing with fire
when I raised your expectations.

I called U.C. Denver.

Oh, crap.

Then you found out I made the Dean's list.

What? What?

Dean's list?

Wait, you didn't call them?

No. Just bluffing. Dean's list? Really?

The real Dean's list, not just a
list a guy named Dean made up?

Ha, ha. Don't act so surprised.

I work really hard.

Well, that begs the question...

Why are you bailing on going to New York?

Because... internships are exploitative,

and those New York minutes are so short,

and I don't like the red clam chowder.

I don't buy any of this.

This has something to do with Kyle.

But I do agree with you.
That clam chowder is horrible.

It's like watery ketchup with clams in it.

(Knock on door)

Hey, Mrs. B.

Hey, Kyle.

Hey, what's in the bag?

Oh, I figured since Mandy couldn't go to
New York, I would bring New York to her.

Oh, clever.

A big apple, just like the nickname.

New York has a nickname?

It's a Pippin because we were gonna
see the musical "Pippin" in New York.

Oh, honey.

You know, maybe it's a good thing you're
not traveling that far from home.

Um, listen, Kyle, I-I need to
talk to you about something.

Um, I ju...

Uh, Blanca, will you just
give us a little privacy?

Again?!

You know, I grew up with
eight people in one room,

and the only way we ever got privacy
was to stick our head in a paper bag.

And my brother had a girlfriend,
so guess who hogged the bag.

Kyle, did... did Mandy ask you
to go to New York with her?

Oh, no. I surprised her with that.

But we always want to be with each other.

Okay, well, some people think it's a good
idea for couples to spend time apart.

Well, you can find anything on the
Internet if you look hard enough.

Well, when Mr. Baxter and I got married,

he was traveling the world taking
pictures for the Outdoor Man catalog.

Yeah, I've seen them. Yeah.

Yeah, he's wrestling that crocodile,

or he's got his head in that lion's mouth.

Yeah, well, some of those pictures
may have been Photoshopped, uh...

Uh, b-but the thing is he
never would have been able

to do all those things if I was with him.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah. Yeah.

And he wouldn't have become the
inspirational figure he is today.

And who would have had driven me to
achieve all the great things I've done?

Yeah, well, big loss all around, so...

Uh, but... but, Kyle, do you...

Do you see what I'm getting at?

Not really, but I don't
think that's important

when you're enjoying a conversation.

You're afraid if Kyle goes
with you he'll embarrass you.

Listen, I get it. I work with
this guy every day, in public.

No, Dad. It's not that at all.

I love Kyle.

You know, some day, I want to
have his babies I-if we...

if we can find a really beautiful surrogate

that doesn't mind us destroying her body.

(Chuckles)

All right. Then what's going on?

If I took this internship in New
York, I would have to become...

Very selfish.

Do you know who you are here in Denver?

No, it would require all
of my time and energy,

you know, soaking up information
about the fashion world,

the way a brick soaks up water.

Right.

Hopefully a little more than that.

Yes.

Even more if that's even possible.

The... the way a
hummingbird eats leaves.

Just...

Wow.

Dean's list. Really?

But you're afraid that
if Kyle goes with you,

you won't be able to do these things?

Yeah.

It's like whatever fun
stuff I would be doing,

there would be this little part of
me that would want to be with him...

Right... Walking around or talking

or going down to Battery Park...

It's beautiful.

...to recharge our cellphones.

It's like...

It's like...

It's so cool that they have that.

So, he'd be like a distraction...

A lovely distraction,
kind of like a BlackBerry

is for me when your mom's
talking about her work.

Sure.

Listen, if you don't want
Kyle to go with you, honey,

you're gonna have to tell him that.

I'm afraid it's gonna
hurt his feelings, though.

If you're going to have
an adult relationship,

you have to learn to do adult things,

which means sometimes
saying the hard things.

But...

What if he breaks up with me?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

It could also end badly.

All I'm saying is if you love
someone, you should set them free,

and if they return to
you, they're truly yours.

Or maybe they're coming back for revenge

because it took you so
long to set them free.

Eve, dinner!

Oh.

- Hey, Kyle.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- Eve: All right.

Let's get it on a plate
so I can shovel it in.

I got things to do, people.
What are we having, anyway?

Uh, brisket with chocolate sauce.

Take that, Michelle Obama.

Uh, Blanca, maybe we should
give these two some...

I know the drill.

Ay, of all the days to forget my fitbit.

These steps mean nothing.

Um, okay, so, about New York.

I think I can still get
that internship at DKNY.

That is great.

Yeah.

But I think you should go without me.

No, you don't.

Yeah, I do.

I'm worried about being away
from my grandma for that long.

She gets into a lot of pickles...

So the nurses had to padlock the fridge.

But at least she stopped getting into jams.

Kyle, I know you're just
saying that to be a nice guy,

but I owe it to you to
tell you the truth, okay?

I don't want you to come with me.

Are you breaking up with me?

No. I just don't want to be with you.

(Sighs) Oh.

I'm not hearing the difference.

Um, okay, I'm just talking
about for the summer.

So if you came with me to New York,
I would kind of be distracted

when I would need to be
focusing on my career.

Like how your mom would
have distracted your dad

when he was traveling the world.

I understand.

So...

You okay with this?

Yeah.

I just want you to get
everything you want in life.

Sometimes I worry that
you're so smart and ambitious

that you'll outgrow me and leave me behind.

Hey, that's not gonna happen.

Well, just to be sure, I'm gonna take
this time apart to improve myself.

Yeah?

Okay, yeah. While you're gone, I'll...

I'll go back to school and
finally finish my degree.

Oh, that would be so great for you!

Yeah, it's a six-week commitment.

But by the time you get back, I
will be a certified taxidermist.

(Gasps) Babe! Amazing. You love animals.

And you're almost as
good at sewing as I am.

Yeah.

And once I'm an expert at stuffing things,

I know I'll always have you by my side.

Oh, honey.

Yep. I want to look at that face forever.

Hey. Mike Baxter here with
a word about date night.

I think it's a great idea, but unfortunately,
my wife insists on coming along.

How much closeness is
healthy in a relationship?

Let's look at some famous couples.

Uh, Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt,
America's favorite inbred first family.

They were cousins, which you'd
think would make them close,

but they actually spent
very little time together.

Eleanor was traveling the world
visiting socialist countries

while Franklin was here
turning America into one.

Bill and Hillary Clinton
lead mostly separate lives,

but they're still very much in love...

With power and pantsuits.

We all know Jack Kennedy spent
a lot of time away in Maryland.

The state.

You know, where Camp David is.

He slept with Marilyn in Palm Springs.

Oh, yeah.

On the other hand, there's
couples who are too close,

who never get a break from each other.

It never works out.

Ike and Tina Turner, Sonny
and Cher, Donny and Marie.

No, I think what you
want is a proper balance.

You want to see enough of each other

that you could pick your
spouse out of a police lineup

but not so much that you end up,
you know, in the police lineup.

Which brings me back to date night.

Where's the perfect place to
bring your honey on a date?

Everyone would say, "Paris, Eiffel Tower,
Arc de Triomphe," but it's expensive.

It's crawling with French people.

Ugh.

So bring her down to the Outdoor
Man Grill opening next month.

Not only do we welcome lovebirds,
we serve them in a port wine sauce.

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