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1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:03,908
"Last Man Standing" is recorded in
front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:05,571
(Cheering) The Knicks
could have won that game
3
00:00:05,605 --> 00:00:07,406
if they'd have hit a few more free throws.
4
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:11,710
Or if they were an entirely different team.
5
00:00:11,744 --> 00:00:14,054
Listen, do you want to go to Ed's
today and watch the Nuggets game?
6
00:00:14,085 --> 00:00:14,379
Mm.
7
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:16,482
Nothing better than after a
long day of watching sports...
8
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,317
More sports.
9
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:24,323
I think Ed just wants to show
off his fancy new TV. 120"?
10
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,158
It's got to be cheaper just
to punch a whole in the wall
11
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,293
and have the Nuggets play in the yard.
12
00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:30,796
Every time I go over
there, Ed puts me to work.
13
00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:31,375
I know. I know.
14
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:35,033
Uh, "make the bean dip," "light
the grill," "rotate my tires."
15
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:37,603
- The dude is rich, but he's cheap.
- Mm-hmm.
16
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,471
He buys caviar with a Groupon.
17
00:00:39,505 --> 00:00:45,577
I'll go, but if he asks me to bust
up an old chifforobe, I'm out.
18
00:00:45,611 --> 00:00:46,912
Oh, my God.
19
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:48,714
Mom, do you want to know what I just heard?
20
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:49,988
Eve and her boyfriend broke up.
21
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:52,317
That was my news.
22
00:00:52,351 --> 00:00:53,652
I'm sorry.
23
00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:56,588
You can have my news...
"I heard it might snow tonight."
24
00:00:56,622 --> 00:00:59,091
- Is Eve okay?
- I don't know.
25
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,226
I heard this from my old
Woodbridge High contacts.
26
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:02,301
Oh, all right, so it
might just be a rumor.
27
00:01:02,332 --> 00:01:02,561
Nope.
28
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:04,596
Eve and Justin are definitely splitsville.
29
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:08,033
I confirmed it with three sources,
one of them a boy cheerleader.
30
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:12,370
Also, Jessica Noble... probably bulimic.
31
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:12,772
Oh, well...
32
00:01:12,803 --> 00:01:16,208
Although I do not have gay
confirmation on that as of yet.
33
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:20,412
I thought you said you got all this news
from the grapevine, not from people.
34
00:01:20,446 --> 00:01:21,780
That's what the "the grapevine" is.
35
00:01:21,814 --> 00:01:23,281
Ohh.
36
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,717
I thought you learned
how to talk to plants.
37
00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:30,722
I was hoping you could tell me what
the heck my ficus is so upset about.
38
00:01:30,756 --> 00:01:33,291
- I got some bad news.
- Hmm.
39
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:36,561
Is this real bad news, or something I've
got to pretend to be interested in?
40
00:01:36,595 --> 00:01:38,463
Eve and Justin broke up.
41
00:01:38,497 --> 00:01:41,132
Oh. Whoa.
42
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,635
That... she's...
That's... that's just...
43
00:01:43,669 --> 00:01:45,103
How is that?
44
00:01:45,137 --> 00:01:46,638
This is her first breakup.
45
00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:48,406
She's gonna be pretty depressed.
46
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:49,641
Oorah!
47
00:01:51,410 --> 00:01:54,946
I just set a new obstacle-course record.
48
00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:58,283
And whose record did I smash? Mine.
49
00:01:58,317 --> 00:02:02,654
High-fiving Reagan's ghost.
Up top, gipper.
50
00:02:02,688 --> 00:02:05,323
Breaks your heart to see your
kids in so much pain, doesn't it?
51
00:02:05,357 --> 00:02:08,726
Honey, honey, are you okay?
52
00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:09,727
Yeah, I'm fine, Mom.
53
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:11,429
I don't actually see Reagan's ghost.
54
00:02:11,463 --> 00:02:13,131
All right, but...
But how is Justin?
55
00:02:13,165 --> 00:02:14,232
Oh.
56
00:02:14,266 --> 00:02:16,067
Your mom would like to
talk about your feelings,
57
00:02:16,101 --> 00:02:18,102
so, for the love of God,
come up with something.
58
00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:20,438
Yes, Mom.
59
00:02:20,472 --> 00:02:22,941
Justin and I did break up,
but it's not a huge deal.
60
00:02:22,975 --> 00:02:24,575
I'm really okay about it.
61
00:02:25,903 --> 00:02:27,583
You tried dating, didn't work out so well.
62
00:02:27,613 --> 00:02:29,247
Now you can concentrate
on school and sports
63
00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:31,783
and a lot of other things that
don't make me so uncomfortable.
64
00:02:31,817 --> 00:02:35,186
Ah, damn. These are Justin's.
65
00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:38,122
And seeing them brings up feelings?
66
00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:40,458
Yeah... Irritation.
67
00:02:40,492 --> 00:02:44,262
Returning junk he left in my bag was
not part of my clean-exit strategy.
68
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:48,866
Leave it alone. She's fine, okay?
69
00:02:48,901 --> 00:02:52,036
Honey, teenage girls are not
this blas? about breakups.
70
00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:53,271
Teenage girls aren't Eve.
71
00:02:53,305 --> 00:02:56,140
She's like a superhuman
hybrid of a male and a female.
72
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,942
I'd use the term "master race,"
73
00:02:57,976 --> 00:03:02,446
but that loser Hitler
screwed that up for everybody.
74
00:03:02,481 --> 00:03:06,384
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
75
00:03:09,321 --> 00:03:11,155
(Knock on door)
76
00:03:11,189 --> 00:03:14,058
Hey, how you doing?
77
00:03:14,092 --> 00:03:15,726
Still fine. Sorry.
78
00:03:15,761 --> 00:03:18,562
Honey, you know (Sighs) I promise,
79
00:03:18,597 --> 00:03:21,866
you will feel so much better
if you just let yourself cry.
80
00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:24,368
Oh, so you're backpedaling
on last week's speech
81
00:03:24,403 --> 00:03:26,504
about laughter being the best medicine?
82
00:03:26,538 --> 00:03:29,006
Hey, hey, hey. First
breakups are devastating.
83
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,841
I know mine was.
84
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:33,511
It was high school. His name was Jeff,
85
00:03:33,545 --> 00:03:35,813
and I-I thought he was so
cool 'cause he had a Mustang.
86
00:03:35,847 --> 00:03:38,482
And yet, you married the
fishing-pole salesman.
87
00:03:38,517 --> 00:03:40,651
(Chuckles)
88
00:03:40,685 --> 00:03:42,820
Jeff and I were very, very serious.
89
00:03:42,854 --> 00:03:44,655
At least, I was.
90
00:03:44,689 --> 00:03:49,260
I guess... I guess he was just pretending,
which, when you think about it,
91
00:03:49,294 --> 00:03:51,929
is really just another word for lying.
92
00:03:51,963 --> 00:03:53,097
He was a liar.
93
00:03:53,131 --> 00:03:55,266
Ohh!
94
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:57,268
It feels kind of good just to say that.
95
00:03:57,302 --> 00:03:59,370
Great. So, uh, we done here?
96
00:03:59,404 --> 00:04:01,238
He would write me these little notes.
97
00:04:01,272 --> 00:04:02,906
Okay, still going.
98
00:04:02,941 --> 00:04:05,576
He promised to love me
till the end of time.
99
00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:09,413
And apparently time ended
the week before prom, so...
100
00:04:09,447 --> 00:04:13,016
I don't know what we're
all still doing here.
101
00:04:13,051 --> 00:04:14,284
Me neither.
102
00:04:14,319 --> 00:04:16,954
Mom, listen.
103
00:04:16,988 --> 00:04:20,157
The breakup between me and Justin
was completely mutual, okay?
104
00:04:20,188 --> 00:04:20,858
Honey...
105
00:04:20,892 --> 00:04:22,359
We both just realized we're
too busy to date right now.
106
00:04:22,393 --> 00:04:24,595
- That's all.
- Really? It's that simple?
107
00:04:24,629 --> 00:04:27,264
- If it's any consolation...
- Yeah?
108
00:04:27,298 --> 00:04:29,466
...this has been exhausting.
109
00:04:32,770 --> 00:04:34,638
Ta-da!
110
00:04:34,672 --> 00:04:35,806
Oh, yeah.
111
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,474
Yeah, I could totally
make that dress for you.
112
00:04:37,508 --> 00:04:39,576
But I am worried about the cost.
113
00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:42,045
Oh, dad's paying.
114
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,641
No, the cost would be our relationship.
115
00:04:45,583 --> 00:04:49,119
I could not be sisters with someone
who would wear that dress.
116
00:04:49,153 --> 00:04:50,787
(Laughs)
117
00:04:50,822 --> 00:04:52,622
Well, I like it.
118
00:04:52,657 --> 00:04:53,623
Okay.
119
00:04:53,658 --> 00:04:56,126
And I do have another sister.
120
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,127
Hey.
121
00:04:57,161 --> 00:04:59,162
Hey, Mom. Hey, uh, how's Eve doing?
122
00:04:59,197 --> 00:05:01,832
- I cannot get her to cry.
- Oh, really?
123
00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:04,000
Have you tried dropping her off
at school in your bathrobe yet?
124
00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:05,969
Because that worked when you did it for me.
125
00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:07,971
Eve swears she's fine.
126
00:05:08,005 --> 00:05:10,273
Shes says the breakup was mutual.
127
00:05:10,308 --> 00:05:11,942
You know who always calls it mutual?
128
00:05:11,976 --> 00:05:13,410
- The person who got dumped.
- Mm.
129
00:05:13,444 --> 00:05:15,912
Oh, God. You're right.
130
00:05:15,947 --> 00:05:19,149
That's exactly what I told
people when Jeff dumped me.
131
00:05:19,183 --> 00:05:20,850
Who's Jeff? (Sighs)
132
00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:23,520
Some liar.
133
00:05:23,554 --> 00:05:25,689
Hey, maybe we could help her open up.
134
00:05:25,723 --> 00:05:28,191
Let's put her in an environment
were she feels comfortable.
135
00:05:28,225 --> 00:05:32,362
Ohh, I don't want to go
to a monster-truck rally.
136
00:05:32,396 --> 00:05:33,930
No, hanging out with her sisters.
137
00:05:33,964 --> 00:05:36,766
Yeah, and her fun mom. Yeah.
138
00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:38,601
Yeah, we could go for tea, and then...
139
00:05:38,636 --> 00:05:40,637
- And then wedding-dress shopping.
- Oh.
140
00:05:40,671 --> 00:05:43,640
And we'll talk and talk and talk.
141
00:05:43,674 --> 00:05:46,476
Wherever you're going,
please take me with you.
142
00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:48,144
I'm just going over to Ed's basement.
143
00:05:48,178 --> 00:05:49,946
Oh, I'm in.
144
00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:52,949
Beats an afternoon of talking and
tea with the cast of "The View."
145
00:05:52,983 --> 00:05:53,950
This could be fun.
146
00:05:53,984 --> 00:05:56,819
We're gonna go see a TV that
cost more than his first car,
147
00:05:56,854 --> 00:06:00,089
which I believe was the first car.
148
00:06:04,923 --> 00:06:07,625
Come in. Come in. Come in. Come in here.
149
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,226
- Check out my new home theater.
- Whoa. Hey.
150
00:06:09,261 --> 00:06:10,895
This is not nearly as
creepy as what I pictured
151
00:06:10,929 --> 00:06:13,163
you building down here in the basement.
152
00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:16,667
Welcome to cinema
Alzate. Admission is free.
153
00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:18,421
But I do intend to gouge you on the snacks.
154
00:06:20,272 --> 00:06:21,905
Just kidding. There's no eating in here.
155
00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:23,007
Give me the gum.
156
00:06:25,076 --> 00:06:26,043
Seriously?
157
00:06:26,077 --> 00:06:27,511
Gum, please.
158
00:06:27,545 --> 00:06:31,015
(Spits)
159
00:06:33,418 --> 00:06:36,887
At least no eating means I won't
have to make the bean dip.
160
00:06:36,921 --> 00:06:39,390
Well, that's probably a good thing.
161
00:06:39,424 --> 00:06:43,394
Windowless room? Beans?
162
00:06:43,428 --> 00:06:44,728
Check this out.
163
00:06:44,763 --> 00:06:48,332
Notice how the opening completely
vanishes into the paneling.
164
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,701
So your captives can't find their way out.
165
00:06:52,137 --> 00:06:55,105
So, uh, where's this
new, big TV, Mr. Alzate?
166
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:56,373
Okay, here we go.
167
00:06:56,407 --> 00:06:58,542
Behold.
168
00:07:01,579 --> 00:07:03,280
Huh? All we have to do is set it up.
169
00:07:03,314 --> 00:07:07,584
He hasn't even taken it out of the box.
170
00:07:07,619 --> 00:07:09,253
Well, that's why I invited you early.
171
00:07:09,287 --> 00:07:11,555
Come on. Let's get to
work. Tip-off in 20 minutes.
172
00:07:11,589 --> 00:07:14,391
Where's the door? Oh, God, there's no door!
173
00:07:17,328 --> 00:07:19,997
Hey. I really like this one.
174
00:07:20,031 --> 00:07:21,465
Don't fall in love.
175
00:07:21,499 --> 00:07:23,800
Remember, we're just here to rip off ideas.
176
00:07:23,835 --> 00:07:27,137
I feel a little guilty about you
stealing someone else's design.
177
00:07:27,171 --> 00:07:28,805
Shh, shh, shh, shh. Don't worry.
178
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,874
It'll be Kristin's "something borrowed."
179
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,210
There's our bridesmaid.
180
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,411
Oh!
181
00:07:34,445 --> 00:07:36,413
And I have to say, that
looks amazing on you.
182
00:07:36,447 --> 00:07:37,481
Right? (Chuckles)
183
00:07:37,515 --> 00:07:41,118
And, mother of the bride, I have
to say that looks amazing on you.
184
00:07:41,152 --> 00:07:42,786
- Really?
- Mom, he works here.
185
00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:44,888
He literally has to say it.
186
00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:46,890
- How's it going in there?
- Almost done.
187
00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:49,226
Wedding dresses are a giant hassle.
188
00:07:49,293 --> 00:07:50,760
Wait till you try marriage.
189
00:07:50,795 --> 00:07:54,297
Trust me.
190
00:07:54,332 --> 00:07:55,632
Okay. (Giggles)
191
00:07:55,666 --> 00:07:57,534
Here I come. Yeah.
192
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:04,608
(Camera shutter clicking) Honey,
you're... you're just gorgeous.
193
00:08:04,642 --> 00:08:06,776
I know, Mom, but right
now, this is about Kristin.
194
00:08:08,646 --> 00:08:10,413
So... do you like it?
195
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,915
- Yes.
- So you like it?
196
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,917
No, can we see another option?
197
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,485
Of course.
198
00:08:15,519 --> 00:08:17,988
- But I have to say...
- I know... "Amazing."
199
00:08:18,022 --> 00:08:19,990
But, uh, another option, please.
200
00:08:20,024 --> 00:08:21,057
Yes.
201
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,929
I can totally make that dress, only better.
202
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,365
(Squeals, giggles) Cheers. Yeah.
203
00:08:28,399 --> 00:08:31,368
(Giggling) N-o-o-o!
204
00:08:31,402 --> 00:08:34,304
Champagne always helps my creative process.
205
00:08:35,373 --> 00:08:38,007
I assume.
206
00:08:38,042 --> 00:08:41,511
From... what I've read.
207
00:08:41,545 --> 00:08:43,110
In the Bible.
208
00:08:43,141 --> 00:08:44,314
Ahh.
209
00:08:44,348 --> 00:08:47,150
Mm.
210
00:08:47,184 --> 00:08:49,552
Boy, I hope Eve is having
a good time with your dad.
211
00:08:49,587 --> 00:08:52,388
Yeah, teenage breakups can be so painful.
212
00:08:52,423 --> 00:08:54,324
And sometimes they are just awkward.
213
00:08:54,358 --> 00:08:56,559
Like my breakup with Kyle.
214
00:08:56,594 --> 00:08:59,229
I thought things ended
okay with you and Kyle?
215
00:08:59,263 --> 00:09:01,097
Yeah, you always said that it was mutual.
216
00:09:02,199 --> 00:09:06,469
Mutual. You "mutual-Ed" Kyle?
217
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,572
The awkward part was how hard he tried
218
00:09:09,607 --> 00:09:12,809
to get me back... Notes, poems, flowers.
219
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:14,177
Well, no... Dirt and seeds.
220
00:09:14,211 --> 00:09:18,314
He thought I'd have more fun making my own.
221
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:21,351
Kyle only gives dirt to people
that he really cares about.
222
00:09:21,385 --> 00:09:23,886
It was no big deal. I just kept saying no.
223
00:09:23,921 --> 00:09:24,988
Oh. (Scoffs)
224
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:26,990
I mean, it sort of sounds like a big deal.
225
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,659
Uh, how long did this
whole thing go on for?
226
00:09:29,693 --> 00:09:31,327
Not long. Like six months.
227
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:33,796
I'm sorry. Six months?
228
00:09:33,831 --> 00:09:36,432
Did I ever tell you girls about Jeff?
229
00:09:36,467 --> 00:09:39,669
(Chuckles) Now, there was a breakup.
230
00:09:39,703 --> 00:09:41,504
Why have you never told me about this?
231
00:09:41,538 --> 00:09:45,375
You mean we could have had this
super-fun conversation even sooner?
232
00:09:45,409 --> 00:09:48,878
I tried to get Jeff back. (Chuckles)
233
00:09:48,912 --> 00:09:55,218
He loved "Flashdance," so I-I got a
chair and a bucket of water, and...
234
00:09:56,487 --> 00:09:59,461
I'm sorry that I don't like hearing
how heartbroken Kyle was over you.
235
00:09:59,492 --> 00:09:59,922
Right.
236
00:09:59,957 --> 00:10:02,058
I'm getting married, Eve's
going through a breakup.
237
00:10:02,092 --> 00:10:06,462
But somehow, once again,
today becomes all about Mandy.
238
00:10:06,497 --> 00:10:08,130
Okay, well, if you want
it to be all about you,
239
00:10:08,165 --> 00:10:09,866
why don't you make your
own damn wedding dress?
240
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,534
I didn't want your
knock-off dress, anyway.
241
00:10:11,568 --> 00:10:14,971
I can't imagine a more
beautiful dress than this one.
242
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:16,973
- So you'll take it?
- Yes.
243
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:19,041
No.
244
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:21,377
That one is also pretty. I'll be in here.
245
00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:27,883
All right, the manual estimated
10 minutes for this step.
246
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,720
What are you clowns doing down there?
247
00:10:30,754 --> 00:10:33,622
You know, I think we're doing a good job
considering the only tools you have
248
00:10:33,657 --> 00:10:38,127
are needle-nose pliers and
whatever the hell this thing is.
249
00:10:38,161 --> 00:10:41,797
I finally found the cable
for the back speakers.
250
00:10:41,832 --> 00:10:44,266
Huh.
251
00:10:44,301 --> 00:10:45,601
Well, I got the shortest one.
252
00:10:45,635 --> 00:10:47,803
- I mean, I saved five bucks.
- Great.
253
00:10:47,838 --> 00:10:51,340
Now all we have to do is
move that wall over here.
254
00:10:51,374 --> 00:10:53,008
Yes! Denver just tied it!
255
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,477
Ooh, ooh, let me see. Let me see.
256
00:10:54,511 --> 00:10:56,579
You don't want to watch the
game on that little phone.
257
00:10:56,613 --> 00:10:58,080
You know, the phone has an advantage...
258
00:10:58,114 --> 00:11:01,283
It's not just a big, black rectangle.
259
00:11:02,452 --> 00:11:04,253
I think we got enough stuff hooked up here.
260
00:11:04,287 --> 00:11:05,988
I-I-I'm firing this bad boy up.
261
00:11:06,022 --> 00:11:07,056
Well, now, hold on. Do it. Do it.
262
00:11:07,090 --> 00:11:08,724
- Okay, Mike. Okay, here I go.
- Go, go, go.
263
00:11:08,758 --> 00:11:10,492
And... (Electricity crackles)
264
00:11:10,527 --> 00:11:11,827
What... what the...
265
00:11:11,861 --> 00:11:15,297
Thank you for that, Chuck.
That really sets us back.
266
00:11:15,332 --> 00:11:17,633
No, I just overloaded the circuit.
267
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:19,501
Do you have the TV on the
same circuit as the lights?
268
00:11:19,536 --> 00:11:20,769
It's just a TV.
269
00:11:20,804 --> 00:11:24,073
Plugging this thing in
is like plugging in Vegas.
270
00:11:24,107 --> 00:11:26,642
Uh, I could go reset the breaker.
271
00:11:26,676 --> 00:11:28,344
Good. Go ahead. Yeah, the
panel's in the kitchen.
272
00:11:28,378 --> 00:11:30,512
Right there. Right
up... yeah. Okay.
273
00:11:30,547 --> 00:11:32,948
Just go right to your left right there. Up.
274
00:11:32,982 --> 00:11:37,319
Mikey, no offense, but I think having
Eve here is inhibiting our fun.
275
00:11:37,353 --> 00:11:39,021
Yeah, I'm sure Eve is the
reason we're not having fun,
276
00:11:39,055 --> 00:11:41,457
not the fact that we
got no lights and no TV.
277
00:11:41,491 --> 00:11:43,092
And no gum.
278
00:11:44,545 --> 00:11:46,065
She broke up with her first boyfriend,
279
00:11:46,095 --> 00:11:47,596
her mom's been bugging
her about it at home.
280
00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:50,199
I just wanted to get her out of the
house, give her a little space, okay?
281
00:11:50,233 --> 00:11:52,534
Yeah, women love picking emotions apart.
282
00:11:52,569 --> 00:11:55,837
It's like a bloomin' onion at happy hour.
283
00:11:55,872 --> 00:11:59,107
If we're not allowed to eat in here,
I don't want to talk about food.
284
00:11:59,676 --> 00:12:01,643
Ah! Okay. Good going!
285
00:12:01,678 --> 00:12:03,211
You're a good dad, Baxter.
286
00:12:03,246 --> 00:12:05,480
Let the girl process
things at her own pace.
287
00:12:05,515 --> 00:12:06,548
Yeah, he's right.
288
00:12:06,582 --> 00:12:07,883
She's better off not dwelling on it.
289
00:12:07,917 --> 00:12:09,718
So, what's this deal about the breakup?
290
00:12:09,752 --> 00:12:11,019
Ed, dwelling.
291
00:12:11,054 --> 00:12:14,156
Um, I'm fine, Mr. Alzate. No biggie.
292
00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:16,925
I mean, anyone care that the
Nuggets just went on a 12-0 run?
293
00:12:16,959 --> 00:12:18,593
All right, now, that's smart.
294
00:12:18,628 --> 00:12:20,095
Take your mind off the pain.
295
00:12:20,129 --> 00:12:23,598
Eventually you forget it, and
...and you get over it, right?
296
00:12:23,633 --> 00:12:26,101
Oh, you forget.
297
00:12:26,135 --> 00:12:28,703
But do you ever really get over it?
298
00:12:28,738 --> 00:12:33,181
Not if you discuss your feelings
with your dad's middle-aged friends.
299
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:35,911
Lisa Demeray.
300
00:12:35,945 --> 00:12:38,079
Huh?
301
00:12:38,114 --> 00:12:40,081
She sat next to me in eighth-grade math.
302
00:12:40,116 --> 00:12:44,219
She borrowed my protractor,
and I never washed it again.
303
00:12:44,253 --> 00:12:48,056
You... you washed your protractor, huh?
304
00:12:49,592 --> 00:12:51,893
What did you measure with that thing?
305
00:12:54,997 --> 00:12:58,299
I-I finally got up the
nerve to talk to her,
306
00:12:58,334 --> 00:13:01,970
and she told me her family
was moving to Baltimore.
307
00:13:02,004 --> 00:13:08,410
Whenever they show the crowd at a
Ravens game, I-I look for her.
308
00:13:08,444 --> 00:13:11,444
You know, I'm pretty sure she doesn't
look like she did in the eighth grade.
309
00:13:11,447 --> 00:13:13,515
But it's great to know
why you watch football.
310
00:13:14,483 --> 00:13:16,785
Okay, so, uh, we ready to try this again?
311
00:13:16,819 --> 00:13:18,586
It was the spring of '56.
312
00:13:18,621 --> 00:13:19,888
Guess not.
313
00:13:19,922 --> 00:13:23,391
Tammy Balacek and I (Chuckles)
314
00:13:23,425 --> 00:13:26,794
Would kiss in the moonlight,
telling each other our dreams.
315
00:13:26,829 --> 00:13:30,965
Yeah. That's when dreams
used to be black and white.
316
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,602
Unlike our flat-screen,
which is still black!
317
00:13:34,637 --> 00:13:41,409
One day, out of the blue, she says
she's not feeling it anymore.
318
00:13:41,443 --> 00:13:45,913
(Voice breaking) What
does that even mean?
319
00:13:45,948 --> 00:13:51,085
True love is right there, and
she says she's not feeling it.
320
00:13:52,554 --> 00:13:56,124
I better test these 3-D glasses.
321
00:13:56,158 --> 00:13:57,391
I don't think we need TV.
322
00:13:57,426 --> 00:14:01,362
We got "the brotherhood of the
traveling pants" right here.
323
00:14:01,396 --> 00:14:03,865
Baxter, it might be good
for Eve to hear this stuff.
324
00:14:03,899 --> 00:14:05,466
I mean, it's hard when your...
325
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:07,535
Your heart gets ripped out of your chest.
326
00:14:07,569 --> 00:14:09,370
Nobody ripped her heart out of her chest.
327
00:14:09,404 --> 00:14:11,038
This was a mutual breakup, right?
328
00:14:11,073 --> 00:14:14,208
Actually, I kind of just said that.
329
00:14:14,242 --> 00:14:15,910
Yeah, I broke up with Justin.
330
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,984
He was just more into
me than I was into him.
331
00:14:19,014 --> 00:14:21,148
Mike: Okay.
332
00:14:21,183 --> 00:14:24,685
Tammy Balacek all over again.
333
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:29,990
I'm feeling kind of bad because when
Justin started crying, I kind of laughed.
334
00:14:30,025 --> 00:14:32,059
He cried?
335
00:14:32,094 --> 00:14:34,728
You laughed?
336
00:14:34,763 --> 00:14:37,998
What kind of monster have you raised?
337
00:14:38,033 --> 00:14:39,200
Don't listen to these guys.
338
00:14:39,234 --> 00:14:41,368
You know, she's probably
not used to seeing men cry.
339
00:14:41,403 --> 00:14:43,537
But after today, it'll be like old hat.
340
00:14:43,572 --> 00:14:46,207
Yeah, Justin crying just
caught me off guard, that's all.
341
00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:48,976
Eve, you're a good kid and all, but that...
that... that's cold.
342
00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:52,479
That's... that's deep space,
dark-side-of-the-moon cold.
343
00:14:52,514 --> 00:14:55,482
Uh, let's have enough of this.
344
00:14:55,517 --> 00:14:57,217
Let's watch a little basketball.
345
00:14:57,252 --> 00:14:59,920
Okay, all right. That's what
we came here for, huh? Sit down.
346
00:14:59,954 --> 00:15:01,394
- Satellite on, guys.
- Ed: Let's go.
347
00:15:01,423 --> 00:15:04,143
Sit down, and let's
watch some basketball.
348
00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:05,092
All right.
349
00:15:05,126 --> 00:15:07,694
Announcer: Another
incredible win for Denver.
350
00:15:07,729 --> 00:15:08,796
Stay tuned for post-game coverage,
351
00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:10,464
and our interview with Ty Lawson,
352
00:15:10,498 --> 00:15:13,867
the Quizno's bacon
ranch player of the game.
353
00:15:13,902 --> 00:15:17,538
Wow, that was some game. You know what?
354
00:15:17,572 --> 00:15:21,754
Maybe we'll come by here and not
watch the super bowl when it's on.
355
00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:30,561
We need to talk about this Kyle thing.
356
00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:31,183
I am changing.
357
00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:34,265
Well, good, because I'm not crazy
about who you are right now.
358
00:15:34,299 --> 00:15:36,066
Mom?!
359
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,167
She's not here.
360
00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:38,802
She's off bonding with the salesman.
361
00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:42,773
They've both been dumped
by liars named Jeff.
362
00:15:42,807 --> 00:15:43,874
Look, okay?
363
00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:45,709
Kyle was never really in love with me.
364
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:49,079
I-I-I-I think he just felt
obligated because I'm a single mom
365
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,782
and... and Boyd had gotten
really attached to him.
366
00:15:51,816 --> 00:15:53,284
Boyd was only 4 then.
367
00:15:53,318 --> 00:15:54,785
They liked a lot of the same books.
368
00:15:54,819 --> 00:15:57,755
All of those times that
Kyle tried to get you back,
369
00:15:57,789 --> 00:15:59,957
you rejected him every single time?
370
00:15:59,991 --> 00:16:03,894
Yes, I promise, okay?
You have no reason to be jealous.
371
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:05,896
Jealous? Why would I be jealous?
372
00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:09,733
I'm just mad at you for
rejecting my sweet Kyle.
373
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:13,237
Oh. What?
374
00:16:13,271 --> 00:16:15,139
That must have really
hurt his feelings...
375
00:16:15,173 --> 00:16:16,673
Coming to you with dirt and seeds
376
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:18,976
and getting turned down
over and over and over again.
377
00:16:19,010 --> 00:16:23,747
So, you're mad at me for not
getting back with your boyfriend?
378
00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:26,850
All he wanted was another shot.
379
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:30,521
See, this is why I think you
and Kyle are the real thing.
380
00:16:30,555 --> 00:16:32,689
This is the first time I've seen you
381
00:16:32,724 --> 00:16:35,359
put someone else's
feelings ahead of your own.
382
00:16:35,393 --> 00:16:36,860
Is that what I did?
383
00:16:36,895 --> 00:16:38,428
Yeah.
384
00:16:38,463 --> 00:16:41,198
And you did it without even thinking.
385
00:16:41,232 --> 00:16:44,534
That's when I do my best stuff.
386
00:16:47,238 --> 00:16:48,538
Announcer: What a night!
387
00:16:48,573 --> 00:16:51,975
Denver wins in triple overtime, 143-142.
388
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:53,010
(Radio turns off)
389
00:16:53,044 --> 00:16:57,347
Well, if you're gonna miss a game, might
as well miss the best one of the year.
390
00:16:57,382 --> 00:16:58,548
(Sighs)
391
00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:02,285
What if Ed and Chuck are
right about me being cold?
392
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,453
Eve, come on.
393
00:17:03,488 --> 00:17:06,990
In the last two days, I've been
called a monster and a robot.
394
00:17:07,058 --> 00:17:08,291
It's starting to hurt.
395
00:17:08,326 --> 00:17:09,960
Who called you a robot?
396
00:17:09,994 --> 00:17:11,962
Justin...
397
00:17:11,996 --> 00:17:13,997
When I laughed at him for crying.
398
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:17,167
Robots don't laugh at other people's pain.
399
00:17:17,201 --> 00:17:20,203
That would be a sociopath.
400
00:17:20,238 --> 00:17:22,873
(Scoffs) Dad, I'm serious.
401
00:17:22,907 --> 00:17:26,910
I mean, have you ever laughed when
someone you cared about was in pain?
402
00:17:26,944 --> 00:17:29,246
No. Yes.
403
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,448
I mean, your mom made
some pretty funny faces
404
00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:33,116
when she was delivering Kristin.
405
00:17:33,151 --> 00:17:36,887
And I'm telling you right now,
never tell a woman in labor
406
00:17:36,921 --> 00:17:39,389
that she looks like Buddy Hackett.
407
00:17:39,423 --> 00:17:43,059
I don't know. Justin was
my first real boyfriend.
408
00:17:43,094 --> 00:17:45,729
I think maybe I should be more upset.
409
00:17:45,763 --> 00:17:47,898
What you think doesn't make any difference.
410
00:17:47,932 --> 00:17:49,666
See, this is about your feelings.
411
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:52,002
And your feelings are gonna come up.
412
00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:56,673
Even if it's 50 years later when
you're showing off your media room.
413
00:17:56,707 --> 00:17:58,608
- So, I'm not cold?
- You're not cold at all.
414
00:17:58,643 --> 00:17:59,776
You have great feelings.
415
00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:04,214
You... you care about your family and
your friends and God and the Broncos...
416
00:18:04,248 --> 00:18:06,549
- I do cry when they lose.
- Mm-hmm.
417
00:18:06,584 --> 00:18:08,885
And I cried after the 2012 election.
418
00:18:08,919 --> 00:18:11,254
I mean, even Romney didn't cry.
419
00:18:11,288 --> 00:18:12,922
He's not programmed to.
420
00:18:12,957 --> 00:18:15,258
Romney is, in fact, a robot.
421
00:18:18,596 --> 00:18:20,730
Hey.
422
00:18:20,765 --> 00:18:22,198
Hey, how was Ed's TV?
423
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:23,933
Heavy.
424
00:18:23,968 --> 00:18:26,102
What about you? You okay?
425
00:18:26,137 --> 00:18:27,303
You have any feelings you want...
426
00:18:27,338 --> 00:18:30,140
I got to go.
427
00:18:30,174 --> 00:18:31,574
Well, good going. You spooked her.
428
00:18:31,609 --> 00:18:34,277
Like that 10-point buck I
tried to shoot on our honeymoon.
429
00:18:34,311 --> 00:18:35,778
Yeah.
430
00:18:35,813 --> 00:18:37,814
Yeah, honey, you know, you shot at a deer
431
00:18:37,848 --> 00:18:39,716
from the balcony of our bridal suite.
432
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:42,385
Mm-hmm. And, uh... and I'm
the one who's out of line?
433
00:18:42,419 --> 00:18:44,554
Unh-unh. (Chuckles)
434
00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:45,895
Hey, did she show any emotion?
She cry? Anything?
435
00:18:45,926 --> 00:18:46,222
No.
436
00:18:46,257 --> 00:18:51,094
If she needs lessons, she can
take them from Ed and Chuck.
437
00:18:51,128 --> 00:18:52,962
Hey, Mom, have you seen
Justin's headphones?
438
00:18:52,997 --> 00:18:54,864
I want to return them
and get this over with.
439
00:18:54,898 --> 00:18:56,866
Uh, yeah, I dropped them
off with Justin's mom.
440
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:59,535
- What?
- You know what? She is so sweet.
441
00:18:59,570 --> 00:19:02,472
Would it be weird for you if
Betty and I stayed friends?
442
00:19:02,506 --> 00:19:04,474
You dropped them off?
443
00:19:04,508 --> 00:19:06,610
Well, y-y-you didn't want to have to
see him, so I just thought I would
444
00:19:06,641 --> 00:19:07,343
How can you do that, Mom?
445
00:19:07,378 --> 00:19:08,911
I was going to do that! You
didn't even ask me first!
446
00:19:08,946 --> 00:19:10,513
No, no, no, but, babe, you said
you wanted a clean exit, right?
447
00:19:10,547 --> 00:19:12,248
You know what? Just do me a
favor and don't think, okay?
448
00:19:12,282 --> 00:19:14,417
Just... from now on, stay out of my life.
449
00:19:14,451 --> 00:19:15,785
(Sighs)
450
00:19:15,819 --> 00:19:17,186
Honey, I...
451
00:19:20,157 --> 00:19:24,360
There's some emotion. Everybody happy?
452
00:19:24,394 --> 00:19:26,362
(Eve crying)
453
00:19:29,399 --> 00:19:31,033
What are you doing? What are you doing?
454
00:19:31,068 --> 00:19:34,036
She's in there crying, Mike. It's terrible.
455
00:19:34,071 --> 00:19:35,605
All week long, you've wanted her to cry.
456
00:19:35,639 --> 00:19:37,106
Yes, she's my baby.
457
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:39,709
Well, now that she's
crying, you want her to stop?
458
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:43,045
Yes, she's my baby.
459
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,213
S-s-she just needs
some time by herself.
460
00:19:44,248 --> 00:19:45,381
- Just get away fr...
- W-w-wait, but if...
461
00:19:45,415 --> 00:19:46,716
Have I made it clear
462
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,352
that I'm available to
talk to her about this?
463
00:19:49,386 --> 00:19:51,187
I think everyone knows that.
464
00:19:51,221 --> 00:19:55,024
Oh... well, I-I'm gonna wait
here just in case she needs me.
465
00:19:55,058 --> 00:19:56,359
As long as it takes.
466
00:19:56,393 --> 00:19:57,860
Eve: Mom?
467
00:19:57,894 --> 00:19:59,462
Oh, thank God.
468
00:20:04,952 --> 00:20:09,556
Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man
with our Valentine's Day gift combo...
469
00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:13,226
Hip waders and a sleeping bag.
470
00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:14,394
Hmm?
471
00:20:14,428 --> 00:20:17,397
See, you'll need the sleeping bag
when your wife kicks you out
472
00:20:17,431 --> 00:20:19,566
because you bought her hip waders.
473
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,734
Valentine's Day is a celebration of love.
474
00:20:21,769 --> 00:20:24,904
But for a lot of lonely people,
it's a big holiday for depression,
475
00:20:24,939 --> 00:20:29,575
which is why we'll be closing the
shooting range very early that day.
476
00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:33,413
With so much heartbreak, why do
we put ourselves through this?
477
00:20:33,447 --> 00:20:36,416
Is love necessary for our survival?
478
00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:41,587
Animals don't love, and they survive
just fine, present company excluded.
479
00:20:41,622 --> 00:20:44,090
When you see a giraffe
running on the savannah,
480
00:20:44,124 --> 00:20:47,593
it's not running after another giraffe
saying, "please, don't leave me."
481
00:20:47,628 --> 00:20:52,131
It's running from a lion
saying, "please don't eat me."
482
00:20:52,166 --> 00:20:53,799
Only humans are capable of love,
483
00:20:53,834 --> 00:20:55,801
and the best kind of
love is unconditional...
484
00:20:55,836 --> 00:20:58,471
Love of family, love of
friends, love of God...
485
00:20:58,505 --> 00:21:01,373
And love of your new 4x4.
486
00:21:02,003 --> 00:21:04,003
Love is about the best thing humans have.
487
00:21:04,033 --> 00:21:05,533
As author Robert Brault said
488
00:21:05,563 --> 00:21:09,070
" Find someone who loves you for no reason
and shower that person with reasons."
489
00:21:09,104 --> 00:21:11,772
That is the ultimate happiness.
490
00:21:11,807 --> 00:21:14,742
So, maybe follow up those
hip waders with some flowers.
491
00:21:14,776 --> 00:21:18,980
But whatever you do, don't show her
the present you got your truck.
492
00:21:19,014 --> 00:21:21,482
Happy Valentine's Day from
all of us at Outdoor Man.
493
00:21:21,532 --> 00:21:26,082
Repair and Synchronization by
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