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"Last man standing" is recorded
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00:00:04,574 --> 00:00:06,341
in front of a livestudio audience.
3
00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:08,343
Football on.
Women setting the table.
4
00:00:08,377 --> 00:00:11,179
Why can't every day
be Thanksgiving?
5
00:00:11,214 --> 00:00:15,183
So Sundays, mondays,
Thursdays aren't enough?
6
00:00:15,218 --> 00:00:16,585
Halftime's almost over.
7
00:00:16,619 --> 00:00:19,754
You got any husband or father
questions, lay them on me.
8
00:00:19,789 --> 00:00:21,423
Well, actually,
we need someone to bring up
9
00:00:21,457 --> 00:00:22,891
some extra chairs
from the basement.
10
00:00:22,925 --> 00:00:25,494
Right. So nothing, right?
Good, good.
11
00:00:25,528 --> 00:00:26,495
Grandpa, wait!
12
00:00:26,529 --> 00:00:29,097
Ha! Yeah. Almost made it.
13
00:00:29,132 --> 00:00:32,033
I'm doing a class project
on what we're thankful for.
14
00:00:32,068 --> 00:00:35,036
Yeah, he wants to do a video
like your vlogs for outdoor man.
15
00:00:35,071 --> 00:00:37,072
Everybody's thankful for those.
16
00:00:37,106 --> 00:00:38,707
I liked the one
where the president
17
00:00:38,741 --> 00:00:41,610
needs to pull his head
out of putin's butt.
18
00:00:43,446 --> 00:00:46,414
Um, okay, why are there
two chairs at the kids' table?
19
00:00:46,449 --> 00:00:48,049
Please tell me
he's bringing a date.
20
00:00:48,084 --> 00:00:51,686
Sorry, Eve, but there's no room
at the boring, grown-up table,
21
00:00:51,721 --> 00:00:55,290
so you get to sit with Boyd
at the special table.
22
00:00:55,358 --> 00:00:57,359
You know "special" doesn't mean
the same thing it used to?
23
00:00:58,794 --> 00:01:00,762
Sorry, honey, but we're full.
24
00:01:00,796 --> 00:01:02,898
We got grandpa, Bud, Kyle, Ryan.
25
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:03,999
Mike, shake a leg.
26
00:01:04,033 --> 00:01:05,967
The football intermission
is almost over.
27
00:01:08,004 --> 00:01:12,007
There's someone who should be
at the special table.
28
00:01:12,041 --> 00:01:13,875
So I guess someone
is just gonna have to die
29
00:01:13,910 --> 00:01:15,443
before I can sit
at the big table?
30
00:01:15,478 --> 00:01:17,445
Ryan's in the den by himself.
31
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:18,813
How bad do you want it?
32
00:01:18,814 --> 00:01:26,588
Sync & corrections by no1
www.Addic7ed.Com
33
00:01:26,589 --> 00:01:28,924
Come on, Eve. What are you thankful for?
[Beep]
34
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,926
I'm thankful that if
I strangled you right now,
35
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,261
I wouldn't be tried as an adult.
36
00:01:34,297 --> 00:01:37,532
I'm thankful there is
a lot of people in the room.
37
00:01:40,636 --> 00:01:42,771
All right, can you pace
somewhere else, Sally?
38
00:01:42,805 --> 00:01:43,972
You're making me nervous.
39
00:01:44,006 --> 00:01:45,574
Uh, can I confess something
to you, Eve?
40
00:01:45,608 --> 00:01:47,242
All right, if you're coming out,
let me go get my dad,
41
00:01:47,276 --> 00:01:49,511
'cause he's been
expecting this for years.
42
00:01:49,545 --> 00:01:52,113
Please don't tell Kristin.
43
00:01:52,148 --> 00:01:53,582
She probably has her suspicions.
44
00:01:53,616 --> 00:01:57,852
Eve, look... I've made a significant
wager on this game with a guy at work.
45
00:01:57,887 --> 00:02:00,855
- When did you start betting on football?
- Yesterday.
46
00:02:00,890 --> 00:02:02,891
My neighbor told me
the lions couldn't lose,
47
00:02:02,925 --> 00:02:04,993
and he must know
because he's a huge lions fan.
48
00:02:05,027 --> 00:02:08,830
- Whayeah, what isd?
- Yeah, what is The spread?
49
00:02:08,864 --> 00:02:11,866
'Cause he tried to explain it
to me, but it's very confusing.
50
00:02:11,901 --> 00:02:15,103
You know the lions have lost nine
straight games on Thanksgiving?
51
00:02:15,137 --> 00:02:18,707
So they're due.
52
00:02:20,042 --> 00:02:22,677
Kyle, what do you mean
you're not coming?!
53
00:02:22,712 --> 00:02:25,113
So what if your
grandmother's missing?
54
00:02:25,147 --> 00:02:26,948
She'll turn up, yeah.
55
00:02:26,983 --> 00:02:29,251
And, babe, if she wanders
in the wrong house, who cares?
56
00:02:29,285 --> 00:02:30,986
Everybody's having
the same meal anyway.
57
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,622
- Wait, wait. So no Kyle?
- No.
58
00:02:33,656 --> 00:02:35,957
[Scoffs] Maybe I should wander
the streets in my bathrobe,
59
00:02:35,992 --> 00:02:38,560
see if he comes looking for me.
60
00:02:38,594 --> 00:02:41,563
What am I thankful for?
61
00:02:41,597 --> 00:02:44,399
Uh, well, I guess
I'm thankful for science,
62
00:02:44,433 --> 00:02:50,572
specifically the fermentation process
that helps me get through the holidays.
63
00:02:50,606 --> 00:02:54,576
You know, uh,
his teacher's gonna see this.
64
00:02:54,610 --> 00:02:57,912
She'll probably send you
a pamphloh, honey, stop.
65
00:02:57,947 --> 00:02:59,247
Hey, guys, guess what.
66
00:02:59,282 --> 00:03:01,583
Kyle's out.
I'm back in the bigs.
67
00:03:01,617 --> 00:03:04,853
Sorry, squirt.
You're on your own.
68
00:03:04,887 --> 00:03:07,789
You know you do only get to eat the food
that falls off the big table, right?
69
00:03:09,859 --> 00:03:12,827
Hey, the game started?
70
00:03:12,862 --> 00:03:14,596
Yeah, but Ryan's still in there.
71
00:03:14,630 --> 00:03:16,598
Since when did he like football?
72
00:03:16,632 --> 00:03:20,068
What? Did they run out
of Ted talks on bees?
73
00:03:20,102 --> 00:03:21,603
Honey, your dad
will be here soon.
74
00:03:21,637 --> 00:03:23,071
You can watch football with him.
75
00:03:23,105 --> 00:03:25,240
Thanksgiving... my favorite time
of the year with my dad.
76
00:03:25,274 --> 00:03:28,576
You know, football, Turkey,
eat, sleep, repeat.
77
00:03:28,611 --> 00:03:32,213
If I time it right, we'll never
have to say a word to each other.
78
00:03:32,248 --> 00:03:35,383
Well, might as well
get this party started.
79
00:03:35,418 --> 00:03:37,919
Hey! What do you think
you're doing?
80
00:03:37,953 --> 00:03:39,921
- Mnh-mnh.
- Mom, I need to take the edge off.
81
00:03:39,955 --> 00:03:43,692
As if anyone's ever accused you
of being sharp.
82
00:03:43,726 --> 00:03:45,894
You know the rule in this house.
83
00:03:45,928 --> 00:03:48,229
Mom, don't worry.
I'll leave you some.
84
00:03:48,264 --> 00:03:51,199
All right, you know what?
Maybe one glass with dinokay.
85
00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:53,635
As long as you're pouring, 'cause
I know you have a heavy hand.
86
00:03:53,669 --> 00:03:55,970
Oh, stop! [Chuckles]
87
00:03:56,005 --> 00:03:57,972
Oh, yes!
88
00:03:58,007 --> 00:04:01,409
Nice football catch.
[Whistle blows]
89
00:04:01,444 --> 00:04:03,645
It was a nice catch,
but it wasn't made by a lion.
90
00:04:03,679 --> 00:04:05,113
He threw it to the wrong team.
91
00:04:05,147 --> 00:04:06,648
He gets a do-over, right?
92
00:04:07,783 --> 00:04:12,921
This is what I love about football.
Explaining it to somebody else.
93
00:04:12,955 --> 00:04:14,222
[Knock on door]
94
00:04:14,256 --> 00:04:17,459
Oh, Mike, will you grab that?
[Stutters]
95
00:04:17,493 --> 00:04:20,128
- Hey, grandpa Bud.
- Kristin!
96
00:04:20,162 --> 00:04:21,629
- Hi!
- Oh, wow.
97
00:04:21,664 --> 00:04:22,964
Look at you.
98
00:04:22,998 --> 00:04:24,733
You're like an entirely
different person.
99
00:04:26,369 --> 00:04:28,837
- Grandpa!
- Hey! Look at you!
100
00:04:28,871 --> 00:04:30,672
What a great, big guy.
101
00:04:30,706 --> 00:04:33,341
[Grunts] Actually, uh, he is
your great-grandpa, sweetie.
102
00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:34,509
That's right.
103
00:04:34,543 --> 00:04:38,680
You got a good grandpa
and a great grandpa.
104
00:04:38,714 --> 00:04:41,082
Here's a butterscotch.
Go play in a tree.
105
00:04:41,117 --> 00:04:43,752
[Sighs]
106
00:04:43,786 --> 00:04:45,153
Pop.
107
00:04:45,187 --> 00:04:46,287
Son.
108
00:04:46,322 --> 00:04:49,991
[Laughs] Uh...
109
00:04:50,025 --> 00:04:53,161
Yeah.
110
00:04:53,195 --> 00:04:56,831
Um... How... how was the,
uh, car ride?
111
00:04:56,866 --> 00:04:59,601
Same as always.
112
00:04:59,635 --> 00:05:02,771
Yeah, yeah.
113
00:05:02,805 --> 00:05:06,508
Well, this conversation ran out
of steam quick, didn't it?
114
00:05:06,542 --> 00:05:09,611
But the game's on in the den.
I'll get you a beer.
115
00:05:09,645 --> 00:05:10,945
Hey. Uh, oh, hang on.
116
00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:12,614
- I haven't said hello to your beautiful bride.
- Bud! Hi!
117
00:05:12,648 --> 00:05:13,475
How are you?
118
00:05:13,501 --> 00:05:16,785
- And to my smart granddaughter.
- Grandpa. Oh.
119
00:05:16,819 --> 00:05:18,119
And to my...
120
00:05:18,154 --> 00:05:20,555
Even smarter,
more beautiful granddaughter?
121
00:05:20,589 --> 00:05:22,223
Sure.
122
00:05:22,258 --> 00:05:24,125
Yay!
123
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,460
You're in a good mood, Bud.
124
00:05:25,494 --> 00:05:27,996
I got a lot to be thankful for
this Thanksgiving.
125
00:05:28,030 --> 00:05:29,164
Oh, really? Oh, quick.
Hurry, Boyd.
126
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:30,899
Someone's actually thankful
for something.
127
00:05:30,933 --> 00:05:33,902
I got an announcement.
I got my license.
128
00:05:33,936 --> 00:05:36,004
I'm gonna start selling grass.
129
00:05:43,045 --> 00:05:47,081
Bud, please tell me you're
going into the sod business.
130
00:05:47,116 --> 00:05:50,151
No. Pot, weed, marijuana.
It... it...
131
00:05:50,186 --> 00:05:51,820
- All right, let's... let's clip this on, yeah.
- Yeah, that's not a...
132
00:05:51,854 --> 00:05:53,655
uh, come here. Come here, Boyd.
133
00:05:53,689 --> 00:05:56,357
Let's, uh...
134
00:05:56,392 --> 00:05:59,060
It's gonna be legal here
in Colorado as of January 1.
135
00:05:59,094 --> 00:06:01,930
Are we gonna get like a family
discount, like at outdoor man?
136
00:06:01,964 --> 00:06:04,566
No, no, no! Hey, hey!
137
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,900
And you want to know
what the best part is?
138
00:06:05,935 --> 00:06:07,635
I'm making you my partner.
139
00:06:09,104 --> 00:06:12,740
Store's gonna be called
Baxter and son.
140
00:06:12,775 --> 00:06:17,145
Yeah, that, uh, teacher's gonna be sending
me a whole bunch of pamphlets now.
141
00:06:21,432 --> 00:06:25,669
Mike, why... why didn't you tell me
about your dad's pot-store scheme?
142
00:06:25,703 --> 00:06:27,337
'Cause I never thought
he'd go through with this.
143
00:06:27,372 --> 00:06:28,772
It's hard to get the license.
144
00:06:28,807 --> 00:06:30,274
- It's almost frightening Colorado gave him one.
- No. I...
145
00:06:30,308 --> 00:06:31,708
it's almost impressive.
146
00:06:31,743 --> 00:06:35,012
You know, we have always taught
our kids to stay away from pot.
147
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:37,347
- Yeah.
- And now suddenly it's the family business?
148
00:06:37,382 --> 00:06:39,183
I can't tell this guy anything.
149
00:06:39,217 --> 00:06:40,684
If I say no, he says yes.
150
00:06:40,718 --> 00:06:46,190
He ate a wax apple once just because
I said, "dad, that's a wax apple."
151
00:06:46,224 --> 00:06:49,393
To this day, he'll say, "that's
the best apple I've ever eaten."
152
00:06:49,427 --> 00:06:50,725
- Baxter and son?
- No, I never said that...
153
00:06:50,751 --> 00:06:51,562
yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
154
00:06:51,596 --> 00:06:53,831
I mean, Baxter... Baxter... - it's not
just his name. I'm not gonna say...
155
00:06:53,865 --> 00:06:55,332
it's your name. It's my name.
I know. I know.
156
00:06:55,366 --> 00:06:57,167
It's our... it's our kids' name,
our grandson.
157
00:06:57,202 --> 00:06:59,336
It's like we're all getting
rolled up in the same doobie.
158
00:06:59,370 --> 00:07:03,240
Uh, I guess you two
are discussing my proposal.
159
00:07:03,274 --> 00:07:04,575
Just help me out here.
160
00:07:04,609 --> 00:07:06,610
I-I-I thought you were looking
into raising alpacas.
161
00:07:06,644 --> 00:07:08,278
Yeah.
162
00:07:08,313 --> 00:07:11,748
Turns out they're just tall,
mean goats.
163
00:07:11,783 --> 00:07:14,685
So the next logical step
was pot?
164
00:07:14,719 --> 00:07:16,253
You got there, too.
165
00:07:17,622 --> 00:07:19,423
I got my permit, my store lease.
166
00:07:19,457 --> 00:07:21,792
- All I need is your marketing genius.
- No.
167
00:07:21,826 --> 00:07:23,594
Son, this is a gold mine.
168
00:07:23,628 --> 00:07:26,530
I missed out on polaroid
and hip-hugger jeans.
169
00:07:26,564 --> 00:07:28,532
I'm not missing out on this one.
170
00:07:28,566 --> 00:07:29,833
Call me old-fashioned.
171
00:07:29,868 --> 00:07:32,970
I don't want people scoring
grass from my kids' grandpa.
172
00:07:33,004 --> 00:07:35,672
Yeah. You sell guns.
173
00:07:35,707 --> 00:07:38,108
- Oh, don't start with this.
- Oh, God. No, no.
174
00:07:38,142 --> 00:07:38,598
Don't start with the...
175
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:39,710
I don't mind, but a lot of
people have trouble with that.
176
00:07:39,744 --> 00:07:42,446
It's the second amendment, dad.
It's in the constitution.
177
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,381
So is my thing. What thing?!
178
00:07:44,415 --> 00:07:46,383
Pursuit of happiness.
179
00:07:46,417 --> 00:07:48,719
That's in the declaration
of independence, by the way.
180
00:07:48,753 --> 00:07:51,955
Oh, you're always a nerd.
181
00:07:51,990 --> 00:07:55,058
- I don't want to be part of this.
- Fine. I get it.
182
00:07:55,093 --> 00:07:57,427
- You don't have any faith in your old man.
- It's not that.
183
00:07:57,462 --> 00:07:58,428
- Yes, it is!
- No... no, it's not that!
184
00:07:58,463 --> 00:08:00,063
Yes, you and your brother both.
185
00:08:00,098 --> 00:08:01,732
What does he have to do with this?
He worked for you 25 years.
186
00:08:01,766 --> 00:08:03,400
- He just wanted to move out on his own.
- Unh-unh.
187
00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:05,402
- He was looking for any little excuse...
- No, he wasn't.
188
00:08:05,470 --> 00:08:07,905
You come up with this... to push me
out of the business that I started.
189
00:08:07,939 --> 00:08:09,740
I shot him through the foot
with a nail gun
190
00:08:09,774 --> 00:08:11,975
- one time, and he pushed me out.
- Yeah.
191
00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:14,611
You nailed his foot to a board.
192
00:08:14,646 --> 00:08:16,947
I'm going out for a smoke.
Don't worry.
193
00:08:16,981 --> 00:08:20,417
It's just the boring kind
where you get cancer.
194
00:08:20,451 --> 00:08:23,587
[Sighs] Uh, honey, this is,
uh, probably the wrong time,
195
00:08:23,621 --> 00:08:27,958
but did you tell him
not to smoke around the kids?
196
00:08:27,992 --> 00:08:30,627
But what I'm most thankful for
is this driver's license,
197
00:08:30,662 --> 00:08:32,462
which allows me
to drink anywhere...
198
00:08:32,497 --> 00:08:33,764
Except this house.
199
00:08:33,798 --> 00:08:37,601
And for Clarissa wheaton,
who was too drunk to notice
200
00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:39,002
the night it fell out
of her bra.
201
00:08:40,505 --> 00:08:43,674
Mom? Nope. Erase that one, too.
202
00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:48,545
It is so not fair that
you get to drink and I don't.
203
00:08:48,579 --> 00:08:53,283
Aw. I'd say I care, but this
is my second glass, so pbht!
204
00:08:53,318 --> 00:08:54,851
[Scoffs]
205
00:08:54,886 --> 00:08:58,322
No wine, no Kyle.
206
00:08:58,356 --> 00:08:59,890
Seriously,
I'm getting a real sense
207
00:08:59,924 --> 00:09:02,159
of the hardship suffered
by the amish at pilgrim rock.
208
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:03,493
[Doorbell rings]
209
00:09:03,528 --> 00:09:05,329
Oh, I hope that's either
Kyle or his grandma.
210
00:09:05,363 --> 00:09:06,830
Please, please,
please, please, please!
211
00:09:06,864 --> 00:09:09,166
- Hmm.
- Oh, it's just you.
212
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,500
Aha.
213
00:09:10,535 --> 00:09:12,602
All right, I'm getting
a mixed message here.
214
00:09:12,637 --> 00:09:13,737
The mat says "welcome."
215
00:09:13,771 --> 00:09:15,472
Ah.
216
00:09:15,506 --> 00:09:16,974
Happy Turkey day.
Where should I put this?
217
00:09:17,008 --> 00:09:18,508
It's from my vineyard.
I'll take that.
218
00:09:18,543 --> 00:09:20,877
I'll take that.
219
00:09:20,912 --> 00:09:23,547
Welcome, Ed. What?
Did you forget where you lived?
220
00:09:23,581 --> 00:09:27,150
[Laughs]
Dementia humor. Hilarious.
221
00:09:27,185 --> 00:09:28,819
"Raving lunatic red"?
222
00:09:28,853 --> 00:09:30,821
Yeah. It's named
after my second ex-wife.
223
00:09:30,855 --> 00:09:34,491
And like her, it's rich,
playful, and has a nutty finish.
224
00:09:35,593 --> 00:09:38,662
This is why I do all
the marketing at the store.
225
00:09:38,696 --> 00:09:40,497
You know, Ed,
why don't you stay for dinner?
226
00:09:40,531 --> 00:09:42,499
We always have room
for one more at our table.
227
00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:45,202
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, we don't.
228
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:47,671
Uh, d-don't you have plans,
Mr. alzate?
229
00:09:47,705 --> 00:09:48,739
Yes, yes. Yeah.
230
00:09:48,773 --> 00:09:50,073
Uh, I'm going up
to the veterans hall
231
00:09:50,108 --> 00:09:52,242
and have Thanksgiving dinner
with the guys.
232
00:09:52,276 --> 00:09:53,910
American holiday
with American heroes.
233
00:09:53,945 --> 00:09:56,079
What a night. [Laughs]
234
00:09:56,114 --> 00:09:59,082
Actually, it's pretty grim
unless Barney brings his niece.
235
00:09:59,117 --> 00:10:00,450
Then everybody gets to dance.
236
00:10:00,485 --> 00:10:01,785
Now, Ed, come on. Yeah.
237
00:10:01,819 --> 00:10:03,186
- You're gonna have dinner with us.
- Come on. Come on.
238
00:10:03,221 --> 00:10:04,855
- Let's go. Let's go.
- All right, all right, all right.
239
00:10:04,889 --> 00:10:06,857
Sorry, Eve.
You're back to the kids' table.
240
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,627
Too bad, squirt.
241
00:10:10,695 --> 00:10:14,865
I'm gonna pretend I can't cut my
own meat so you have to do it.
242
00:10:18,970 --> 00:10:22,272
Dad, dad, come on! Come on!
243
00:10:22,306 --> 00:10:26,209
I'm going downstairs, get away
from all these grumpy, old men.
244
00:10:26,244 --> 00:10:27,711
But you're a grumpy, old man.
245
00:10:27,745 --> 00:10:33,050
Well, the wax apple
doesn't fall far from the tree.
246
00:10:35,153 --> 00:10:36,253
Who's winning?
247
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:39,289
Those... Other guys
who aren't the lions.
248
00:10:39,323 --> 00:10:42,959
I've made a significant wager
on the lions.
249
00:10:42,994 --> 00:10:45,462
They haven't won on Thanksgiving
in nine years.
250
00:10:45,496 --> 00:10:47,831
They're due. That's my system.
251
00:10:47,865 --> 00:10:50,033
Horrible system.
252
00:10:50,068 --> 00:10:53,336
Who are you?
253
00:10:53,371 --> 00:10:55,338
I'm, uh, Ryan, Boyd's father.
254
00:10:55,373 --> 00:10:58,141
Didn't you run out on Kristin?
255
00:10:58,176 --> 00:11:04,014
I did, but I'm back now, and I'm trying
to do my best for Kristin and Boyd.
256
00:11:04,048 --> 00:11:08,151
I promised myself that if
I ever saw you, I'd kill you.
257
00:11:08,186 --> 00:11:13,256
But... but you're not
going to, right?
258
00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:15,926
I'll see how it goes.
259
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:20,297
- I'm Bud.
- It's nice to meet you.
260
00:11:21,866 --> 00:11:23,300
You're a builder, right?
261
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:27,637
Was. Getting
into the marijuana trade.
262
00:11:27,672 --> 00:11:31,608
Oh, oh, that's gonna be huge
for Colorado,
263
00:11:31,642 --> 00:11:33,710
and the doughnut stores
that open next to them.
264
00:11:33,744 --> 00:11:35,712
Why is that?
265
00:11:35,746 --> 00:11:37,781
'Cause when you smoke pot,
you get the munchies.
266
00:11:39,984 --> 00:11:42,052
You... you get hungry.
267
00:11:42,086 --> 00:11:43,854
Good tip.
268
00:11:45,056 --> 00:11:47,824
Better than the one you got
on the lions.
269
00:11:47,859 --> 00:11:50,527
Lucky for you,
you're getting four points.
270
00:11:50,561 --> 00:11:52,696
Yeah, okay, from who?
271
00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:55,966
Who is giving them these points?
272
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,569
Who bets on football without
knowing what The Spread is?
273
00:11:59,604 --> 00:12:02,205
Who opens a pot store without
knowing what the munchies are?
274
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:05,976
Got me there.
275
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:10,981
So, uh, now that you've gotten to know
me, do you still want to kill me?
276
00:12:11,015 --> 00:12:13,683
Honestly... Yes.
277
00:12:17,755 --> 00:12:19,389
What you doing, grandpa?
278
00:12:21,092 --> 00:12:25,662
I'm down in my basement, watching
a football game on a radio.
279
00:12:25,696 --> 00:12:27,898
Now can we do
what we're thankful for?
280
00:12:27,932 --> 00:12:29,900
In a minute. Come on in here.
I want to show you something.
281
00:12:29,934 --> 00:12:33,904
[Static] Look at this. Ready?
282
00:12:33,938 --> 00:12:35,739
All right.
283
00:12:35,773 --> 00:12:37,741
Mike, k-a-0-x-t-t.
284
00:12:37,775 --> 00:12:39,409
Just a little shout-out.
285
00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:41,745
Anybody having a good time
here on Thanksgiving?
286
00:12:41,779 --> 00:12:44,948
[Static]
287
00:12:44,982 --> 00:12:49,252
Anybody hiding in their basement
to avoid their relatives?
288
00:12:49,287 --> 00:12:52,289
[All talking]
289
00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:54,858
Now, the thing I like about these guys,
if I don't want to listen to them,
290
00:12:54,892 --> 00:12:57,093
I just turn them down like this.
291
00:12:57,128 --> 00:12:59,896
Grandpa, this is due on Monday.
292
00:12:59,931 --> 00:13:02,599
All right. Calm down.
Let's do your little report.
293
00:13:02,633 --> 00:13:04,768
[Beep]
Um, what am I thankful for?
294
00:13:04,802 --> 00:13:09,105
I'm thankful for radio,
specifically ham radio.
295
00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:12,609
Ham radio is heavily regulated
by the FCC, the same people
296
00:13:12,643 --> 00:13:14,945
who censor network television,
but not cable,
297
00:13:14,979 --> 00:13:18,281
so drug dealers and murderers
become our heroes.
298
00:13:18,316 --> 00:13:21,284
They not only censor,
but they regulate my ham radio.
299
00:13:21,319 --> 00:13:23,286
They require me
to have a license, tests,
300
00:13:23,321 --> 00:13:27,757
and if they don't like what I have to
say, they can fine me or lock me up.
301
00:13:27,792 --> 00:13:30,594
What a great way to treat
the last line of communication
302
00:13:30,628 --> 00:13:33,597
during the coming apocalypse.
303
00:13:33,631 --> 00:13:36,099
Why does the government choose
to regulate free speech
304
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:38,602
and ham radio,
but anybody can operate...
305
00:13:38,636 --> 00:13:41,771
oh, I don't know...
a hemp outlet?
306
00:13:41,806 --> 00:13:43,773
So this Thanksgiving,
while the rest of you
307
00:13:43,808 --> 00:13:48,278
are enjoying your Turkey,
I'm savoring my ham.
308
00:13:48,312 --> 00:13:52,916
Happy Thanksgiving, FCC,
'cause I know you're listening.
309
00:13:54,885 --> 00:13:56,987
I should have
just done a book report.
310
00:13:58,389 --> 00:14:00,523
It's so great that you found
your grandma, Kyle.
311
00:14:00,558 --> 00:14:02,525
Yeah, now just prop her up
in front of the TV
312
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:05,095
and stick a real heavy book in her
lap so she can't wander off again.
313
00:14:07,131 --> 00:14:09,266
- Hey, dad.
- Michael.
314
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:13,169
Uh, Mike, the Detroit lions were
just given a two-minute warning.
315
00:14:13,204 --> 00:14:14,337
Is this bad.
316
00:14:14,372 --> 00:14:16,006
Yeah.
317
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,842
It means I've, like, missed
58 minutes of the damn game.
318
00:14:20,411 --> 00:14:21,745
You know, dad, you're gonna
have to eventually talk to me.
319
00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:24,648
Otherwise, I'm not gonna
give you a dinner roll.
320
00:14:24,682 --> 00:14:26,650
You're off the hook.
321
00:14:26,684 --> 00:14:29,819
The bearded kid is gonna partner
with me on the pot store.
322
00:14:29,854 --> 00:14:31,121
Ryan?
323
00:14:31,155 --> 00:14:34,491
Not that bearded kid. This one.
324
00:14:37,862 --> 00:14:40,797
What do you want me to say?
He calls me "kid."
325
00:14:46,115 --> 00:14:49,084
Ooh. [Laughs]
326
00:14:49,118 --> 00:14:51,153
Oh, that's a nice bird, Mike.
327
00:14:51,187 --> 00:14:54,623
Some people fry it, but I say
smoking is the way to go.
328
00:14:54,657 --> 00:14:57,292
I'm sure you do, cheech.
329
00:14:57,327 --> 00:15:00,762
You're not really going in business
with Chong in there, are you?
330
00:15:00,797 --> 00:15:02,531
Of course I am.
He has a great business plan.
331
00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:04,866
What's his plan, Ed?
332
00:15:04,901 --> 00:15:06,602
Sell pot.
333
00:15:06,636 --> 00:15:09,404
You just can't get
in the business of selling pot.
334
00:15:09,439 --> 00:15:10,739
[Sighs] It's not good for us.
335
00:15:10,773 --> 00:15:12,808
It's really not good
for our business.
336
00:15:12,842 --> 00:15:15,477
We run a store called
outdoor man, not burning man.
337
00:15:15,542 --> 00:15:19,314
I understand, but I feel bad for Bud,
being put out to pasture at his age.
338
00:15:19,349 --> 00:15:22,084
A man needs someplace
to go in the morning.
339
00:15:22,118 --> 00:15:24,920
Why doesn't he just lift the seat
and go where the rest of us go,
340
00:15:24,954 --> 00:15:27,256
and then head out
and go fishing?
341
00:15:27,290 --> 00:15:29,558
That's the fantasy
we sell at our stores, Mike.
342
00:15:29,592 --> 00:15:32,527
Every time an... an old guy
comes in and buys a boat,
343
00:15:32,562 --> 00:15:34,997
what he's really doing
is buying his own coffin.
344
00:15:35,031 --> 00:15:38,834
Another reason why I do all
the marketing for our stores.
345
00:15:38,868 --> 00:15:42,738
Well, maybe dad does need this,
but you shouldn't do it with him.
346
00:15:42,772 --> 00:15:45,407
You're right. I shouldn't.
347
00:15:45,441 --> 00:15:46,675
You should.
348
00:15:46,709 --> 00:15:48,744
He just doesn't
want to go into business.
349
00:15:48,778 --> 00:15:51,079
He wants to go into business
with you.
350
00:15:51,114 --> 00:15:54,182
That's why he called
the pot store Baxter and son.
351
00:15:54,217 --> 00:15:56,685
He calls every business
Baxter and son.
352
00:15:56,719 --> 00:15:58,186
He has no imagination.
353
00:15:58,221 --> 00:16:01,290
The guy's had six dogs,
all of them named dusty.
354
00:16:01,324 --> 00:16:04,259
He's scared, Mike,
just like I was scared
355
00:16:04,294 --> 00:16:07,296
when I started with my store
and a certain younger man
356
00:16:07,330 --> 00:16:11,633
came in to help, and he made
outdoor man what it is today.
357
00:16:11,668 --> 00:16:13,268
Thanks, Ed.
358
00:16:13,303 --> 00:16:14,770
All right.
359
00:16:14,804 --> 00:16:17,139
Almost makes up for me
not having half the business.
360
00:16:20,009 --> 00:16:21,977
Ryan: Oh, no, no, no!
361
00:16:22,011 --> 00:16:23,979
Oh, wait. What... what happened?
362
00:16:24,013 --> 00:16:25,647
I'm so sorry. What?
363
00:16:25,682 --> 00:16:29,484
I know we don't have a lot of money,
but I just lost a bet on football.
364
00:16:29,519 --> 00:16:32,354
You what?!
How... how could you do that?
365
00:16:32,388 --> 00:16:34,222
I am such an idiot.
366
00:16:34,257 --> 00:16:36,858
Yeah, I know you want some pushback
on that, but I think you nailed it.
367
00:16:38,261 --> 00:16:40,195
You don't know anything
about football.
368
00:16:40,229 --> 00:16:42,431
You have no idea
how much he doesn't know.
369
00:16:42,465 --> 00:16:44,599
But in the spirit
of the holiday,
370
00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:47,803
I guess I should tell you
that you actually won.
371
00:16:47,837 --> 00:16:49,371
What?
372
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,573
No. The lions lost.
373
00:16:51,607 --> 00:16:53,575
No. You get to add four points
to the lions' score.
374
00:16:53,609 --> 00:16:54,743
That's The Spread.
375
00:16:54,777 --> 00:16:58,246
That's The Spread?
376
00:16:58,281 --> 00:17:01,183
I won? Oh, I love The Spread.
377
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:04,419
You won?! Yeah, you won!
Yeah, I won!
378
00:17:04,487 --> 00:17:06,355
Yes! How much?! $20!
379
00:17:06,389 --> 00:17:07,422
That's it?!
380
00:17:08,591 --> 00:17:10,692
Boyd, get out your camera.
381
00:17:10,727 --> 00:17:14,329
[Beep] Daddy is thankful for
illegal sports betting and...
382
00:17:17,266 --> 00:17:20,102
I give up.
383
00:17:20,136 --> 00:17:21,403
Hot, hot, hot.
384
00:17:21,437 --> 00:17:23,338
Hey! The Turkey's ready!
385
00:17:23,373 --> 00:17:25,807
- It's time for dinner!
- Yeah.
386
00:17:27,777 --> 00:17:29,911
I've been thinking
about my dad's business,
387
00:17:29,946 --> 00:17:31,947
and I want to help him
a little bit.
388
00:17:31,981 --> 00:17:34,950
What kind of message does
that send to the kids? It's...
389
00:17:36,986 --> 00:17:38,420
look, that's... get out. No!
390
00:17:38,454 --> 00:17:40,288
You know, it's just a bit
hypocritical.
391
00:17:40,323 --> 00:17:41,723
Alcohol's just as bad.
It's addictive.
392
00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:43,925
It causes liver disease. Well...
393
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,060
If they invented booze today,
394
00:17:45,094 --> 00:17:46,495
the FDA would
never even allow it,
395
00:17:46,529 --> 00:17:48,497
and... and the Irish would
probably rule the world.
396
00:17:48,531 --> 00:17:50,832
[Sighs]
397
00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:54,035
And we wouldn't have had Mandy.
398
00:17:54,070 --> 00:17:56,271
Uh, dad, are you saying
that pot is okay?
399
00:17:56,305 --> 00:17:57,773
[Scoffs]
400
00:18:00,109 --> 00:18:01,109
No, it's not okay...
401
00:18:01,144 --> 00:18:02,577
not okay for you
and nobody in this house.
402
00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:04,746
Just because they voted for
something stupid in Colorado
403
00:18:04,781 --> 00:18:06,748
doesn't mean we
got to jump on that train.
404
00:18:06,783 --> 00:18:08,350
All right, Mike,
so... so you're against it,
405
00:18:08,384 --> 00:18:10,051
but you're gonna go
into business with your dad.
406
00:18:10,086 --> 00:18:11,953
I'm not going
into business with dad.
407
00:18:11,988 --> 00:18:13,822
I just... I just
want to be his son.
408
00:18:13,856 --> 00:18:15,824
I mean, yeah. Come on, man.
409
00:18:15,858 --> 00:18:19,161
You know, if it's not hurting
anyone, why get the law involved?
410
00:18:19,195 --> 00:18:23,231
Like sports betting, which
it turns out I'm awesome at.
411
00:18:23,266 --> 00:18:24,566
Hey, hey.
412
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,570
What do you say we parlay your winnings
on the money line to the late game?
413
00:18:28,604 --> 00:18:31,339
Mike, I don't even know
what that means. But yes.
414
00:18:32,642 --> 00:18:35,277
Okay, baxters.
415
00:18:35,311 --> 00:18:39,448
Thank you for the invitation, but
I've got to meet my pals at the VFW.
416
00:18:39,482 --> 00:18:40,949
Vanessa: Ohh, man.
I'm feeling a little guilty,
417
00:18:40,983 --> 00:18:42,784
and Barney's niece
is a definite go.
418
00:18:42,819 --> 00:18:44,886
[Indistinct conversation]
419
00:18:44,921 --> 00:18:48,056
Hey. See you later.
420
00:18:48,090 --> 00:18:49,724
Yes!
421
00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:51,626
Back at the big table.
422
00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:55,497
You can cut your own meat, meat.
423
00:18:55,531 --> 00:18:59,668
It ain't over
till it's over, meat.
424
00:19:01,070 --> 00:19:03,638
Dad, we're ready to eat.
425
00:19:03,673 --> 00:19:05,307
Late game's starting.
426
00:19:05,341 --> 00:19:06,441
Oh, perfect!
427
00:19:06,476 --> 00:19:09,711
Football game starts,
and we got to eat.
428
00:19:09,745 --> 00:19:11,880
Kid from one
of those talent shows
429
00:19:11,914 --> 00:19:16,051
just made a meal
out of the national anthem.
430
00:19:16,085 --> 00:19:20,822
"Home of the brave" alone
took a minute and 40 seconds.
431
00:19:20,857 --> 00:19:24,559
I want to talk about
your marijuana business.
432
00:19:24,594 --> 00:19:25,861
Ed's out.
433
00:19:25,895 --> 00:19:28,396
Why? You talked him out of it?
434
00:19:28,431 --> 00:19:30,232
Because you don't need him.
You've done all the hard work yourself.
435
00:19:30,266 --> 00:19:31,766
You got the licensing.
That's the big deal.
436
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:36,004
What you need is a marketing
genius, and I happen to know one.
437
00:19:36,038 --> 00:19:37,739
What changed your mind?
438
00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:39,741
I was thinking about Jimmy.
439
00:19:39,775 --> 00:19:41,743
You know, he put up
with you for 25 years.
440
00:19:41,777 --> 00:19:44,079
Now I guess it's my turn.
441
00:19:44,113 --> 00:19:47,048
Just promise me you're not gonna
nail my foot to a board.
442
00:19:47,083 --> 00:19:52,020
Well, I am delighted to know that we
are finally gonna become partners.
443
00:19:52,054 --> 00:19:55,056
Um... We're
not gonna be partners.
444
00:19:55,091 --> 00:19:57,526
The truth is I don't want to
be part of the business,
445
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,428
and I do not want
my family part of this.
446
00:20:00,463 --> 00:20:03,131
I'm just a son
helping out his dad.
447
00:20:03,165 --> 00:20:07,269
Not seen, not paid, and,
knowing you, not listened to.
448
00:20:07,303 --> 00:20:11,273
All right,
what's our first step?
449
00:20:11,307 --> 00:20:13,074
First step, dad,
is I want to change the name.
450
00:20:13,109 --> 00:20:14,276
I don't want Baxter and son.
451
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:15,677
Oh, come on! I like that name.
452
00:20:15,711 --> 00:20:17,379
And so it begins right away.
453
00:20:17,413 --> 00:20:21,716
All right, look.
How about I call it dusty's.
454
00:20:27,456 --> 00:20:30,292
Bud's Buds.
455
00:20:30,318 --> 00:20:32,419
Bud's Buds.
456
00:20:32,461 --> 00:20:33,562
There you go.
457
00:20:33,596 --> 00:20:34,896
I don't get it.
458
00:20:34,931 --> 00:20:37,699
You will. Come on.
459
00:20:41,269 --> 00:20:43,404
All right. Dinner's served.
460
00:20:43,438 --> 00:20:46,273
Time for us to eat the munchies.
461
00:20:48,610 --> 00:20:51,211
Yeah, you're not
using that right.
462
00:20:51,246 --> 00:20:53,847
[Doorbell rings]
Kyle's here! He made it! [Laughs]
463
00:20:53,882 --> 00:20:56,750
- Yay.
- Oh, crap.
464
00:20:59,788 --> 00:21:05,659
I'm thankful I get to share the
little table with my aunt Eve.
465
00:21:08,029 --> 00:21:10,931
See? Was that so hard?
466
00:21:13,368 --> 00:21:14,701
All right, all right.
467
00:21:14,736 --> 00:21:22,242
To all my... Winos, gamblers, and
drug dealers, happy Thanksgiving.
468
00:21:22,267 --> 00:21:34,406
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469
00:21:34,456 --> 00:21:39,006
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