All language subtitles for Last Man Standing s03e04 Ryan v. John Baker.eng

Mike: Hey, Eve!

Could you come out and help
me for a minute, please?

Okay.

"Last Man Standing" was recorded

in front of a live studio audience.

Where are you? Dad?

[Singsong voice] Dad?

[Normal voice] You out here?

Ha! Gotcha! Hey!

Damn it!

You have been clipped!

You're in a ghillie suit. That's no fair.

This is a war game. What
do you mean it's not fair?

Do you think the Taliban has chip clips?

They don't have stuff like this.

They hate us for our freshness.

Mike, h... how long are you two
gonna play this stupid game?

It's not stupid. Honey...

I got fritos here that
have turned into roof tiles.

These tactics could save our
daughter's life in combat.

Great. Another bush
starting an unnecessary war.

Well, this is for my own good, mom,

if I want to be special ops someday, so...

That's right.

Thanks for pretend-killing me, dad.

You're so welcome.

Now she tries to clip
me. That's how it works.

Maybe you should, uh, check behind you.

You mean like this?

What the... what is... ?

[Groans]

Where are you going?

I'm gonna go scare the mailman.

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Where's my grandson?

He's in there on the couch,

but... but... but you can't see him.

- Okay?
- I can't see him.

No.

Boyd. I can't see Boyd.

I can't see Boyd.

Muffin...

Did you eat Boyd?

I'm gonna take you for a long walk,

see if you can't squeeze out a little kid.

You're not allowed to eat children.

Grandpa, I'm right here!

Wait... wait a second.

There you are, dressed like a throw pillow!

I didn't even see you.

It's almost on, Boyd.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You don't have clearance to
use the remote around here.

Uh, a news crew came
out to talk to some of us

on the picket line today.

Daddy's on strike, and we're poor.

Boyd, people used to get along just fine

without luxuries like cable TV.

Or meat or two-ply toilet paper.

Aren't you referring to
the former Soviet Union,

which you probably miss?

What the truck drivers are asking for

isn't unreasonable, Mike.

It is, considering a non-union orangutan

did it in two Clint Eastwood movies.

Okay, you know what? Joke all you want.

But I am fighting so Boyd
doesn't have to grow up

in a world where all
the power is concentrated

- into the hands of a few.
- Okay.

I mean, without unions,

we wouldn't even have a middle class.

For once, your dad is right.

Years ago, a kid your age would have to

work 16 hours, just like a little slave.

Now go get me something to drink.

Where did that come from?

If you're asking that
question, you're already dead.

- Oh, here it is!
- Man: In its fourth week,

the resolve of the
striking beer-truck drivers

is stronger than ever,
with no end in sight.

There's daddy, Boyd!

Boyd: Where?

Right there. You see my sign?

"We're here, no beer, get used to it."

Well, looks like a good turnout, honey.

Yep, it's power in numbers.

Numbers like on a paycheck?

When was the last time
you saw one of those?

I haven't had trouble
putting food on my table.

Here's your lasagna, Ryan!

You haven't had trouble
putting my food on your table.

Why are we giving him lasagna?

Oh, honey, don't worry. You
have another one in the freezer.

Oh, great. Now he knows where we keep it.

- Why don't you just give him our pin number?
- Oh, stop.

Well, I should probably go to work.

"Work"... there's a word.

Let's say that together, shall we, Ryan?

Wo-o-o-rk.

Your table is ready, Mr. Baxter.

Great. Thanks.

I will handle this motley crew, Lindsey.

And tell Arturo we have
a party of 12 coming in.

Let me show you to your table.

- Hmm.
- "Let me show you to your table." Fancy.

Fancy.

At the diner, all we heard was,

- "sit down where it's not sticky."
- Oh.

Good evening, Baxters.

- [Chuckling] Hey, John.
- Hey, John.

Hi.

I, uh, picked you out a nice cab

- to start you off with this evening.
- Ooh, lovely.

As long as he calls a nice
cab to drive us home later.

[Laughs]

Do you have an I.D., Mandy?

Not now that you know my name's Mandy.

And do I need to see your
I.D., too, young lady?

[Laughing] Okay.

Hey, hey, hey. Don't wind her up.

That's a check I'll have to cash.

John, this place is so beautiful.

You really are a very impressive young man.

That's after just one sip of wine.

Two glasses later,

she'll be calling you a
monster who wrecked her body.

You might want to leave the bottle.

Now, I can't take all the credit
for our success, Mrs. Baxter.

I was running on fumes

until I hired Kristin to be our manager.

She brings this place class.

- Uh, Ryan, hey. What are you doing here?
- Mike: Boyd?

- Hi.
- Hey, honey.

Uh, management finally countered our offer.

- That's great.
- Ah, great.

Yeah, so, the union
called an emergency vote.

Can you take Boyd?

Uh, I... I'm... I'm at work.

Well, m... maybe you guys could take him.

How long do we have to watch him this time?

An hour? Five years?

It should only be an hour,
but we do have a lot...

Ooh, is that pretzel bread?

You're gonna be eating with
the adults tonight, all right?

But I know they got
something you like... snails.

Yeah, they're fresh. You bet.

I saw them walk around
the sidewalk out front.

This doesn't look like fun.

I would have had more
fun as Clarissa Wheaton,

23-year-old wine orderer.

- Oh, hey, Ryan.
- Oh, hey.

Mike: He's not staying.

He's doing his best to save
the world from affordable beer.

Compliments of the owner, an amuse-bouche.

- Vanessa: Ooh, salmon.
- Yeah.

I love salmon.

Speaking of which, John has
been working day and night

to open his new seafood restaurant

out in Larimer Square.

Proud of you, son.

I hope you don't mind me calling you "son."

It... it just seems to fit.

You know, uh, Ryan here
makes his own yogurt.

Oh, Mike, come on.

Yeah, well, of course the guy can afford

to open a new restaurant...
pays his waiters nothing.

R... Ryan, this... this
isn't the time or place.

Oh, state minimum wage is $7.78 an hour,

but restaurants pay their
waiters about half that.

Yeah, that's because our
staff does really well on tips.

Here's a tip...

don't bite the hand that's
literally feeding you.

And just so you know, kitchen
workers don't get paid sick days,

so there's probably a
guy with the flu right now

making your $20 salad.

Ha, yeah, the joke's on you.

I'm gonna have the soup, okay?

Should, uh, really be getting
to your meeting now, Ryan.

Probably.

Oh, okay. Sorry.

I forgot I was, uh,
talking to "management."

You two must have a lot of laughs.

They don't.

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Boyd, honey, did you enjoy your dinner?

The macaroni and cheese tasted funny.

Yeah, yeah, that's 'cause
it had truffles in it.

It's a fungus that pigs
root up out of the ground

with their noses.

I'm gonna go brush my teeth.

Ha ha! I got...

Hang that up, will you, please?

Boy, I tell you what,

that John Baker puts
together a nice restaurant.

He gave cinnamon toothpicks.

With those, you don't even need dessert.

[Chuckles]

Got those amazing eyes, too.

Yeah.

Yeah, what are they? Blue? Green? Hazel?

Whatever. I was lost in them all night.

You get in line, girl.

[Knocking on door] Eve: Ugh!

The doorknob doesn't
work on this side anymore!

Nice try, Eve.

I have school tomorrow. Just saying.

My favorite customers
are the ones on bad dates.

They never finish their wine.

So, uh, what are you in the mood for...

"Rejected marriage proposal"

or "looked nothing like
his profile picture"?

Hmm. Give me a glass of "Mr. Photoshop."

We had a pretty good night.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I'm sorry about all the
whining at my folks' table.

I'm talking about Ryan, not Boyd.

No, you don't have to apologize for Ryan.

You know, he's in a bad place right now.

Yeah, well, we're all in a bad place

if his strike goes much longer,

and now Boyd has a school
trip to some old-west town.

It's gonna cost 65 bucks.

Oh.

Well, look what I just found.

And here's a little extra.

You know, maybe he wants
to stop by the saloon,

buy himself a fancy painted lady.

[Chuckles]

Uh, thank you, John.
But, I mean, no, I was...

I was not shaking you down for money.

Okay.

But, you know, I was serious
when I told your folks

that you're a big part of
the success of this place.

You and I are a good team.

[Glasses clink]

I could kiss you for saying that.

I wouldn't stop you.

Hey, uh...

Sorry. [Chuckling] I have to go.

Sorry, um...

- Are you upset?
- No.

Yes, I... but not at you, okay?

I am just so frustrated with Ryan.

I... I... I would have
never mentioned kissing you

if I was in my right mind.

Thank you.

No.

Y... you know what I mean, okay?

You... you've been a great friend,

and I certainly think you're attractive.

Goodnight.

Uh, shoes. Thank you.

Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hi.

What are you still doing up?

Oh, Eve texted me that
she was in the closet,

so I texted her back and
told her that I love her

and accept her no matter what.

And then I realized she
meant the coat closet, so...

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Hey. Hey.

So sorry I'm late.

Oh, Boyd's asleep in there on the couch.

Where were you?

Yeah, John keep you after work?

What? No... no, why...
why would you say that?

I guess I was just wondering
if John kept you after work.

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

[Chuckles]

You know, somebody
pretty famous wrote that.

And by tomorrow at 11:00
A.M., I have to know who.

Mom, listen, uh, I need
to ask you for a loan

for Boyd's school trip.

[Sighs] I'm sorry.

Can we keep this a D.T.D.?

Don't tell dad what?

Kristin needs money.

Don't tell dad.

How much money do you need, honey?

Hey, no, wait. What's this?

We don't need to take your mom's money.

We're not giving it to
you, we're giving it to her,

and we're keeping it a secret from me.

What are you doing here, anyway?

I'm picking up Boyd. I texted you.

You did not. I didn't get a text fr...

Oh.

You know, it would be nice to
be able to get a hold of you

- every once in a while.
- Why?

Do you have some more insults
you want me to relay to my boss?

Oh, kris, when you were a waitress,

you had the same complaints
about management, so don't...

You know, w... when your
dad and I used to fight,

we would take it down to the basement.

It's just... it's nice
and quiet down there.

And there's a drain in the floor
in case it gets really ugly.

We are not fighting, mom, okay?

So, is the strike over?

Uh, no. Not quite yet.
They met our wage demands.

But they pushed back on overtime,

so I convinced everyone to
hold off for the whole package.

Okay, now we're fighting.

Why would you not accept that offer?

Because it's not good enough.

We're not just gonna cave...

We have $3.48 in our checking account.

I'd say it's time to cave.

I can't even look at you right now.

Kris.

[Stammering]

- Well, but she's...
- Ah, no, no, no, no.

- I'm thinking she can...
- Bup, bup, bup.

- She can hit him...
- Zhush-zhush!

I'm taking Boyd home.

I don't know where you're going tonight,

but I don't want to see you there.

[Door closes]

How did that go for you?

She told me not to come home.

[Exhales deeply]

[Sighs]

Well, you had a good run.

Hey, Mike Baxter... here for Outdoor Man.

Why do people feel like they
need to go with the flow?

I like to chart my own course,

use my effort to make my
boat go where I want it to go,

but some people love conformity.

[Chuckles]

Ahh, the communist party.

This is what happens
when everyone is forced

to bactly the same.

Yeah, and then there are
these poor, stupid bastards...

adorable little Obama supporters.

They must think universal healthcare's

at the bottom of that cliff.

No. Just little lemming death panels.

America's great because of
people who think for themselves,

innovators like Bill Gates,
Ronald Reagan, Howard Swifson.

Who's Howard Swifson, you ask?

He's the C.E.O. of Swifson Watercraft,

developer of the lightweight,
carbon-fiber canoe paddle.

[Chuckles] Amazing.

I wonder where you could find one.

How about Outdoor Man?

So, now, remember, everyone
do exactly as I say...

start thinking for yourselves.

Look, Jimmy Hoffa.

[Exhales sharply]

Why is Ryan on the couch?

I told him he could spend the night here.

What? What is it? What? You look confused.

Yeah, I'm confused.

In a Kristin-Ryan breakup,
why do we have custody of Ryan?

But she told him he couldn't go home.

What was I supposed to do?

Break out the champagne and the caviar.

Oh, yeah? And what about Boyd?

Boyd doesn't like truffles.

I don't think he's gonna like fish eggs.

Kris, it's me, again, obviously.

I don't blame you for not taking the call.

I... I know this has been
hard, and I'm really sorry.

Please call me back, all right?

Oh, Mandy?

Oh, my God. Hi.

Do you have a minute?

I... I could use someone to talk to.

Yeah, I was, like, on my way
to get some stuff to do...

Okay.

Hey, Eve, do you want
to help me cheer Ryan up?

Nope, I'm good.

Good morning, Eve.

Dad.

What's going on in school today?

Maybe a quiz or two. What's new with you?

Not much.

Just thinking about free healthcare

and what it's gonna cost me.

I'm gonna shove off to school now.

Bye, mom.

Bye.

I'll see you later, dad.

Not if I see you first, which I will.

Oh-ho-ho.

I'm gonna go bring these in to Ryan.

W... w... w... wait, have we
really discussed our options here?

Well, either I bring these
to Ryan, or they go cold.

Either way, he'll eat them.

Their relationship is at a crossroads.

You know, maybe it's run its course.

No, no, no, they're gonna work this out.

Don't be such a pessimist.

You know what? Kristin is just mad

because she has to carry
the whole load right now.

And he's not lifting a finger.

Look, maybe it's time
to look at our options...

like a handsome guy who
owns his own restaurant?

What? Now, I am not gonna undermine

Kristin's relationship.

Well, maybe if you stop
feeding it, it'll go away.

It'll be like that mangy,
one-eyed cat we stopped feeding.

Mike, that cat was put
down by animal control.

I don't think we're gonna
get that lucky with Ryan.

They have a child together... our grandson.

W... we have to root for their family.

I'm rooting for my
family... Kristin and Boyd.

Do you really think that guy in there

is the best possible future for them?

Yeah.

I am the best possible
future for them, Mike.

'Cause no one could love
kris and Boyd more than I do.

I mean, what, you don't
think that this is killing me?

I can't sleep. I can barely eat.

You barely ate a whole lasagna last night.

What do you want me to do?

I don't know what I want you to do,

but you can't keep sleeping on my couch.

I want the memory foam to have
a chance to forget about you.

I'm not crossing that picket line, Mike.

I didn't ask you to cross the picket line.

I support your right to strike,

but I also support you
supporting my grandson.

And I support that, too.

You just got to find

just some way to bring home
the bacon or... or tofu sausage

or w... whatever a manly
vegetarian brings home.

You're right.

I need to get a job,
some ing to tide us over.

And I'm just gonna have to take anything.

Kristin and Boyd deserve that.

You might try the post office.

It turns out our mailman had
a mild heart attack Monday.

Boo.

Oh. Oh. Hey, Mandy.
What are you doing here?

I just wanted to catch up with my big sis.

Okay, well, I have a minute.

I just stopped home to change my shoes,

and then I got to go pick up Boyd.

Okay. So, uh, how's
life? How's the new place?

Are you sleeping with your boss?

What? No, what...

What? Of course not.

Ohh. Oh, okay.

So, I guess that thing
that I saw at the restaurant

between you and John was...

Two co-workers interacting
professionally...

- Two... oh.
-... In a work environment.

Oh, yeah, totally.

- Kristin.
- What?

Okay, go... go ahead. Stare me down.

That doesn't work on me anymore.

Okay, we almost kissed.

Damn it! [Groans]

I have a sixth sense about these things!

- Yeah, but nothing happened, Mandy.
- Yeah, well, something kind of happened

because you guys almost
kissed. So, what's up with that?

But I stopped it. Well,
part of me didn't want to.

Yeah, that part gets me
in trouble a lot, too.

Just, you know, I got
caught up in the moment.

John is an amazing person.

So, what, you're gonna dump
Ryan so you can be with John?

No.

Sometimes I wish Ryan
were more... motivated.

- Like John.
- Yes, but still Ryan.

- I really do love him.
- John?

- Ryan.
- Oh.

I... I'm not looking for a guy
who's gonna take care of me,

but I also... I don't want a guy
that I'll have to take care of.

Okay, good.

I have all the information
I need. Let's go.

- Uh, where?
- It's a surprise.

I need to show you something. Come on.

Okay.

[Chuckling] Oh, my God. Stop.

You drove all the way
home to change your shoes,

and that's what you pick?

No.

What are we doing at dad's store?

Something you just need to see.

The cleaning crew?

You told me there was a surprise.

Is... is one of these guys gonna strip?

Is that Ryan?

Mm-hmm.

He took a job as the night janitor...

for minimum wage... with dad as his boss.

Tell me that guy doesn't love you.

He always said he didn't
know how to vacuum.

Honey, that was really nice
of you to give Ryan a job.

Oh, it was the night shift.

I was just doing my part

to make sure the grandchild
population stays at one.

Yep. Goodnight.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not done here.

We're not?

Don't I get a reward for
being such a nice guy?

Well, yeah,

as long as nice guys don't finish first.

You can consider that a compliment.

[Laughs]

Oh, God. I can't take it anymore!

You know what?

I quit.

I quit. You win.

Why did I think this
was a safe place to hide?

I knew that would flush her out.

Mm-hmm.

Goodnight, babe.

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