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1
00:01:20,194 --> 00:01:22,276
Aloha, foolish mortals!
2
00:01:22,277 --> 00:01:25,193
You have come upon
the gates of hell.
3
00:01:25,194 --> 00:01:28,609
Prepare to meet your fiery fate
in an orderly fashion.
4
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,318
Three lines, please.
5
00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,568
Boo.
6
00:01:32,569 --> 00:01:37,234
Come inside the gates where we
have no used condoms to step on.
7
00:01:37,235 --> 00:01:38,943
What about you, guy texting?
8
00:01:38,944 --> 00:01:41,484
Why don't you text
the rest of your boy band
9
00:01:41,485 --> 00:01:43,360
to come down to hell?
10
00:01:44,777 --> 00:01:46,526
Anyone? Any takers?
11
00:01:46,527 --> 00:01:48,234
That was pathetic!
12
00:01:48,235 --> 00:01:51,318
You don't know the first thing
about carnival barking.
13
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,151
Time for school, son.
14
00:01:53,152 --> 00:01:55,568
Hear ye, hear ye!
15
00:01:55,569 --> 00:02:00,859
Repent now, foolish mortal, for
ye enter now the gates of hell!
16
00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:03,651
That is how that's done.
Enthusiasm, bro.
17
00:02:03,652 --> 00:02:06,568
And always throw the horns.
Always!
18
00:02:06,569 --> 00:02:09,234
Yeah, man, 'cause there's
nothing depressing
19
00:02:09,235 --> 00:02:11,151
about old metalheads
still throwing up horns.
20
00:02:11,152 --> 00:02:13,693
Listen here, skinny jeans
fucknose.
21
00:02:13,694 --> 00:02:17,026
This place can't survive forever
without customers.
22
00:02:17,027 --> 00:02:19,109
No customers, no money.
23
00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:21,151
No money, no park.
24
00:02:21,152 --> 00:02:23,193
No park, no park.
25
00:02:23,194 --> 00:02:25,901
"No park, no park." What are
you, a valet at P.F. Chang?
26
00:02:25,902 --> 00:02:27,943
You do know that you just
repeated yourself, right?
27
00:02:27,944 --> 00:02:30,443
Or did you get pummeled
with so many leather dildos
28
00:02:30,444 --> 00:02:32,776
at a Judas priest concert that you have
no idea what you're saying right now?
29
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:35,234
Listen, it would be an honor
to be fucked by Judas priest.
30
00:02:35,235 --> 00:02:40,651
You don't know shit about dick
or rock or roll.
31
00:02:40,652 --> 00:02:43,901
- Get that lubtard to fix this shit.
- I'll tell him.
32
00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:46,943
You can also tell him that he
looks like a prime candidate
33
00:02:46,944 --> 00:02:49,651
for type 2 diabetes.
34
00:02:49,652 --> 00:02:53,151
So funny, Cleb. You know, I hear
you talking about my friend,
35
00:02:53,152 --> 00:02:56,651
but it looks like the words
are coming out of a dog-shit snowman.
36
00:02:56,652 --> 00:02:57,527
Hey, man...
37
00:02:57,528 --> 00:02:59,526
Do you have a time machine
so I can go back in time
38
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:02,068
and punch your mom in the stomach
so you don't grow up to be you?
39
00:03:02,069 --> 00:03:04,401
Uh... uh... bitch-head.
40
00:03:04,402 --> 00:03:07,443
Augie! The ride's broken again.
41
00:03:07,444 --> 00:03:11,151
I'll punch your dick off
with my mouth, bro.
42
00:03:11,152 --> 00:03:14,444
Okay, red is the relay
and white is the ground.
43
00:03:20,402 --> 00:03:24,818
I'm sorry! I just shorted out
part of my body.
44
00:03:24,819 --> 00:03:27,069
It's very dark in here.
45
00:03:30,402 --> 00:03:33,859
Just let me get a flashlight,
and then I'll...
46
00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:36,193
Okay, so I'll just need
to check the...
47
00:03:36,194 --> 00:03:40,652
Hello? Madame Zonar?
48
00:03:42,610 --> 00:03:45,818
Tell me, do you believe
in destiny?
49
00:03:45,819 --> 00:03:48,069
Why? Should I?
50
00:03:50,235 --> 00:03:52,151
Do you believe
that your heart will stop
51
00:03:52,152 --> 00:03:54,359
because of all the fat
that has collected around it
52
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,193
from the junk food and garbage
that you eat?
53
00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,901
I can only imagine
that your veins
54
00:03:59,902 --> 00:04:03,401
are filled with grease and tacos
and Cheetos.
55
00:04:03,402 --> 00:04:05,276
Do you believe in this destiny?
56
00:04:05,277 --> 00:04:06,819
Well, I mean, I...
57
00:04:07,902 --> 00:04:09,776
Mr. fat, fat, Fattykins.
58
00:04:09,777 --> 00:04:12,944
Okay, I just need to find
your breakers.
59
00:04:14,319 --> 00:04:17,234
It's true that I smother
my sadness with Carbs.
60
00:04:17,235 --> 00:04:20,402
It's my private shame.
61
00:04:23,277 --> 00:04:26,943
Shit! Ow...
62
00:04:26,944 --> 00:04:29,984
I sense that you are good
with your hands.
63
00:04:29,985 --> 00:04:33,109
- Thanks, thanks.
- Please, sit down.
64
00:04:33,110 --> 00:04:35,193
You are talented, young one.
65
00:04:35,194 --> 00:04:38,443
But you spend too much time
fucking your hand.
66
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,234
- What? How did you...?
- Yes.
67
00:04:40,235 --> 00:04:43,609
And your hand doesn't enjoy it.
It's not consensual.
68
00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:45,234
No. Now, that's not true at all.
That's...
69
00:04:45,235 --> 00:04:46,984
So, basically,
you're raping your own hand.
70
00:04:46,985 --> 00:04:49,526
No. -And that is why
nobody loves you.
71
00:04:49,527 --> 00:04:52,944
- You're way off.
- Nobody will ever love you.
72
00:04:54,735 --> 00:04:56,484
Augie, what are you doing?
73
00:04:56,485 --> 00:04:58,568
Please, sit down.
74
00:04:58,569 --> 00:05:02,276
Madame Zonar, dreamer of desires,
senses a need within you.
75
00:05:02,277 --> 00:05:04,193
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I work here.
76
00:05:04,194 --> 00:05:06,234
Can you not talk like that?
You're an adult on planet earth.
77
00:05:06,235 --> 00:05:08,859
Well, maybe if you put a circuit
breaker on my crystal ball,
78
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:10,484
I could do my job here.
79
00:05:10,485 --> 00:05:12,234
Yeah, we got to get
this whole place in shape
80
00:05:12,235 --> 00:05:13,901
or we're all gonna be out
of jobs, okay?
81
00:05:13,902 --> 00:05:15,859
You could use
some shaping up yourself.
82
00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:19,401
I know I may be old and wrinkly,
but my power can provide.
83
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:21,984
- Oh, really?
- So can my vagina.
84
00:05:21,985 --> 00:05:24,484
Not my breasts so much.
They've been used and abused.
85
00:05:24,485 --> 00:05:27,151
You know what? I take one look at you
and my dick hops out of my pants,
86
00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:31,526
goes and gets a gun, and blows
the head of its own dick off.
87
00:05:31,527 --> 00:05:35,235
That is not the first time
I have been told that by a man.
88
00:05:39,235 --> 00:05:41,943
Bro, I saw the way
you were looking at her.
89
00:05:41,944 --> 00:05:43,693
Wait, what?
90
00:05:43,694 --> 00:05:45,984
Thinkin' about throwin' madame
boner a part of your baby dick?
91
00:05:45,985 --> 00:05:47,901
Remy, that's fucked up, dude.
No way.
92
00:05:47,902 --> 00:05:49,818
Come on, Augie,
you need the experience.
93
00:05:49,819 --> 00:05:51,609
And she rubs balls for a living.
94
00:05:51,610 --> 00:05:53,318
And they're crystal,
so at least she'll be careful,
95
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:55,151
but she's like
a thousand years old.
96
00:05:55,152 --> 00:05:57,943
I mean, she must be like
a sandpaper factory down there.
97
00:05:57,944 --> 00:05:59,693
Dude, don't knock sandpaper.
98
00:05:59,694 --> 00:06:01,526
My cat licked my penis
when I was in sixth grade,
99
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:02,819
and I still think about it.
100
00:06:04,902 --> 00:06:06,776
Not again.
101
00:06:06,777 --> 00:06:09,151
- We got to put this horse down.
- Dude, this place is in trouble.
102
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:12,193
The gates of hell's our main
attraction, and it's falling to shit.
103
00:06:12,194 --> 00:06:13,776
Yeah, I know.
104
00:06:13,777 --> 00:06:16,109
Well, you're the handyman,
Augie. So, fix it.
105
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,776
No, no, no, no, I would, but Cleb
told me there's no money to fix it.
106
00:06:18,777 --> 00:06:21,318
- Ouch! Hey!
- Sorry.
107
00:06:21,319 --> 00:06:22,443
Ouch!
108
00:06:22,444 --> 00:06:23,609
Did you ask curt for the money?
109
00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,151
No, no, no, 'cause he's...
110
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,359
The assistant manager!
111
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,026
Cleb's the manager.
112
00:06:28,027 --> 00:06:30,318
His name is Cleb.
I mean, imagine his parents.
113
00:06:30,319 --> 00:06:32,068
Yeah, it does feel like
they gave up
114
00:06:32,069 --> 00:06:34,526
just as soon as they started
choosing baby names.
115
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:37,943
Hot fuck action to the Max
116
00:06:37,944 --> 00:06:40,318
that's what I like, fuck action
117
00:06:40,319 --> 00:06:43,318
clockin' out.
118
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,734
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You're seriously leaving early?
119
00:06:45,735 --> 00:06:49,443
That's right, got a hot date
tonight with madame Zonar.
120
00:06:49,444 --> 00:06:51,401
Oh, you mean the fortune teller?
121
00:06:51,402 --> 00:06:53,568
I'm pretty sure
I saw her on deck today
122
00:06:53,569 --> 00:06:55,734
slipping around in what appeared
to be her own vomit
123
00:06:55,735 --> 00:06:58,984
as she was trying to poo
off the side of her boat.
124
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:01,401
That's my lady.
125
00:07:01,402 --> 00:07:04,109
Well, not to be a dick, my friend,
just pointing out the obvious here.
126
00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:05,984
You don't really have any skill sets.
Yeah.
127
00:07:05,985 --> 00:07:07,984
And then, you know, you smoke
a tremendous amount of weed.
128
00:07:07,985 --> 00:07:09,776
- Right.
- And you spend all your time...
129
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,984
talking to alcoholic,
mentally ill fortune tellers.
130
00:07:11,985 --> 00:07:13,651
That's me.
131
00:07:13,652 --> 00:07:15,484
All while the rides are
in dangerously bad condition.
132
00:07:15,485 --> 00:07:18,359
Whoa! I told Remy
to tell Augie to fix them.
133
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,609
That buck has been passed.
134
00:07:20,610 --> 00:07:22,443
Well, yeah, right,
135
00:07:22,444 --> 00:07:24,734
but still, I mean, one of us
has to maintain a safe park.
136
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,901
You know, so our customers
don't die on the rides.
137
00:07:26,902 --> 00:07:31,776
Well, I guess we got to figure out
who's gonna do that. You or me?
138
00:07:31,777 --> 00:07:35,984
Well, since
you're the manager...
139
00:07:35,985 --> 00:07:37,818
Four-20.
140
00:07:37,819 --> 00:07:40,026
- See you tomorrow.
- Awesome.
141
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:43,026
All right, thank you so much
for all the stuff you do, Cleb.
142
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:45,402
Whatever that is, bud.
143
00:07:48,027 --> 00:07:50,151
Jab, jab, jab, jab.
144
00:07:50,152 --> 00:07:51,526
You're going down!
145
00:07:51,527 --> 00:07:54,984
- Watch out now!
- Oh, shit.
146
00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:58,734
So, dude, after break we need you
to order some parts for the gates.
147
00:07:58,735 --> 00:08:00,568
Not this time. The park is done.
148
00:08:00,569 --> 00:08:02,485
- What?
- What?
149
00:08:03,569 --> 00:08:06,026
The park is done? Bullshit!
150
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:09,318
We just got a letter from
the bank. The place is bankrupt.
151
00:08:09,319 --> 00:08:11,318
- Bankrupt?
- How could you let this happen?
152
00:08:11,319 --> 00:08:14,068
Me?
This place is a dinosaur, man!
153
00:08:14,069 --> 00:08:17,151
Other parks have roller coasters
that rearrange your organs.
154
00:08:17,152 --> 00:08:21,151
We got a squirt gun balloon race
and a needle exchange program.
155
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:24,443
Curt, remember the three of us
were gonna bro-out here forever?
156
00:08:24,444 --> 00:08:27,151
I don't know what to tell ya.
Maybe I'll go to college.
157
00:08:27,152 --> 00:08:29,318
Oh, really, bro? Awesome, man!
158
00:08:29,319 --> 00:08:31,359
- Yeah, just go to college, dude.
- Come on.
159
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,443
What, are you gonna major
in roofies
160
00:08:33,444 --> 00:08:36,609
with a minor of
"let's get the fuck outta here"?
161
00:08:36,610 --> 00:08:38,693
I'm sorry you don't have
a fallback plan, Remy.
162
00:08:38,694 --> 00:08:41,193
Maybe you should go ask that
fortune teller, madame Zonar,
163
00:08:41,194 --> 00:08:43,318
for some career advice.
164
00:08:43,319 --> 00:08:45,859
Let's go see if the bearded lady
will give you a Beej.
165
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,860
I'll go get the chloroform.
166
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,401
- Curt, steal that clown's knife.
- -Yeah!
167
00:08:58,402 --> 00:09:00,568
We should carve our names
in the pier,
168
00:09:00,569 --> 00:09:02,568
and after high school, if we're
still hanging out at this park,
169
00:09:02,569 --> 00:09:05,360
we'll all slit our wrist
with that knife!
170
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:17,943
The fool again?
Did I shuffle these?
171
00:09:17,944 --> 00:09:20,651
Ahh.
172
00:09:20,652 --> 00:09:22,859
You were expected.
173
00:09:22,860 --> 00:09:24,443
You knew I was gonna come?
174
00:09:24,444 --> 00:09:26,193
I am Zonar. I know all.
175
00:09:26,194 --> 00:09:29,859
Wow.
What am I thinking right now?
176
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:33,943
I sense you are haunted by
the dark underlords of the sea.
177
00:09:33,944 --> 00:09:35,443
Ha! Not even close.
178
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,234
I was thinking
about sucking my own dick
179
00:09:37,235 --> 00:09:39,109
in front of my family on Easter.
180
00:09:39,110 --> 00:09:43,069
That is not the first time
I have been told that by a man.
181
00:09:44,694 --> 00:09:46,693
Ah, where was I?
182
00:09:46,694 --> 00:09:50,234
'Tis the sad fate of the cynic to
miss the offerings of the spirits.
183
00:09:50,235 --> 00:09:54,901
The power is within you, child,
should you choose to look for a sign.
184
00:09:54,902 --> 00:09:58,652
Look for a sign.
Really? It's that simple?
185
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,359
What?
186
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:07,777
"The book of Beelzebub."
187
00:10:09,527 --> 00:10:11,526
Is the devil crying?
188
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:14,026
- Wow!
- What is it?
189
00:10:14,027 --> 00:10:16,151
Oh, I was just wondering
where you got this book.
190
00:10:16,152 --> 00:10:19,901
A spirit bequeathed it as
an offering from the dark lord.
191
00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:22,526
A dark lord queefed it on you?
What does that mean?
192
00:10:22,527 --> 00:10:25,734
- Can I borrow it?
- No, this isn't a library.
193
00:10:25,735 --> 00:10:32,359
I know, it's a lez-brary
filled with creepy old ladies.
194
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:36,651
Don't worry, look into the future.
You'll see me returning this book.
195
00:10:36,652 --> 00:10:37,734
Remy!
196
00:10:37,735 --> 00:10:39,609
Remy!
197
00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:42,109
- Remy!
- Remy!
198
00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:45,776
- Whoa!
- Hey, buddy. What's up?
199
00:10:45,777 --> 00:10:47,109
You don't look so good, man.
200
00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:49,568
- Guys, check it out!
- What's that?
201
00:10:49,569 --> 00:10:53,943
That is the "book of Beelzebub,"
the key to saving the park.
202
00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,609
- Wait, what?
- Dude, I don't get it.
203
00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:57,818
Look, people travel
across the world
204
00:10:57,819 --> 00:11:00,401
to see the face of Jesus
on a tortilla, right?
205
00:11:00,402 --> 00:11:02,984
Well, the same people
will come to the park in droves
206
00:11:02,985 --> 00:11:06,734
to see Jesus's enemy
cry like a pussy.
207
00:11:06,735 --> 00:11:08,484
Still ain't gonna save the park.
208
00:11:08,485 --> 00:11:11,984
Come on, curt. Doesn't this park
mean anything to you anymore?
209
00:11:11,985 --> 00:11:13,818
Honestly, not really.
210
00:11:13,819 --> 00:11:16,193
Curt, you lost your virginity
right there on this ride.
211
00:11:16,194 --> 00:11:19,234
Augie tried to lose his virginity
there with the strongman.
212
00:11:19,235 --> 00:11:21,734
That's why you should care
about this place, man.
213
00:11:21,735 --> 00:11:22,943
Whatever.
214
00:11:22,944 --> 00:11:25,901
Hey, bro, can I get a mint?
215
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,818
- No.
- Come on!
216
00:11:27,819 --> 00:11:30,026
I'm always lending you stuff
and you never pay me back.
217
00:11:30,027 --> 00:11:32,568
Don't bust my balls!
Just give me a mint.
218
00:11:32,569 --> 00:11:35,776
All right, look,
if you promise to hit me back,
219
00:11:35,777 --> 00:11:39,193
I'll give you
one of my la petite mints.
220
00:11:39,194 --> 00:11:41,276
Okay.
I promise to give you one back.
221
00:11:41,277 --> 00:11:43,443
So, you currently have mints
in your possession?
222
00:11:43,444 --> 00:11:45,401
Well, I have a pack of mints
in my pocket right now.
223
00:11:45,402 --> 00:11:47,276
I just happen to like
Remy's flavor better.
224
00:11:47,277 --> 00:11:49,984
All right, well, just swear
on the "book of beelzebub".
225
00:11:49,985 --> 00:11:52,359
- Fine, I swear.
- Give me your hand.
226
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,734
- Why?
- Blood oath!
227
00:11:53,735 --> 00:11:58,151
Ow! Geez, who does that anymore?
228
00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:03,401
"Uh, by the smitten brow of
Beelzebub, this oath doth bind me.
229
00:12:03,402 --> 00:12:07,568
May I keep its sacred words
or Beelzebub will find me."
230
00:12:07,569 --> 00:12:10,276
Yes! It's official!
231
00:12:10,277 --> 00:12:13,109
Wow, fuck, finally.
232
00:12:13,110 --> 00:12:15,068
Mmm.
233
00:12:15,069 --> 00:12:16,776
Now that's a refreshing mint.
That's what I'm talking about.
234
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:19,276
Yes, I'm aware of that.
Now give me one of yours.
235
00:12:19,277 --> 00:12:21,526
Ah, yes, of course.
236
00:12:21,527 --> 00:12:25,568
Hm, wait a minute. That's weird.
237
00:12:25,569 --> 00:12:28,776
Oh, man, I thought I had my
mints, but I guess I don't.
238
00:12:28,777 --> 00:12:30,526
Sorry, I guess
I can't honor my oath.
239
00:12:30,527 --> 00:12:34,234
Oh! Typical curt.
Promise and don't deliver.
240
00:12:34,235 --> 00:12:36,693
Typical Remy,
always keeping score.
241
00:12:36,694 --> 00:12:38,693
- Uh, guys...
- You made an oath!
242
00:12:38,694 --> 00:12:41,234
- Who cares?
- You swore on devil shit!
243
00:12:41,235 --> 00:12:43,443
- Fuck devil shit!
- Whoa! Look out!
244
00:12:43,444 --> 00:12:45,901
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
What's going on?
245
00:12:45,902 --> 00:12:47,068
Everything's going in!
246
00:12:47,069 --> 00:12:47,985
- Hey!
- Curt!
247
00:12:47,986 --> 00:12:49,484
Hey! Help me!
248
00:12:49,485 --> 00:12:51,651
- Hold on!
- What the hell's going on?!
249
00:12:51,652 --> 00:12:54,359
What the fuck? -Is this one
of your bullshit tricks, Remy?
250
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,109
If this is a prank,
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
251
00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,943
- No!
- Piece of shit!
252
00:13:00,944 --> 00:13:02,568
- What just happened?
- I don't know!
253
00:13:02,569 --> 00:13:04,901
- Jesus Christ!
- I have no idea what I just saw.
254
00:13:04,902 --> 00:13:05,819
What did you do?
255
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:07,443
What are you talking about?
What did I do?
256
00:13:07,444 --> 00:13:09,401
I didn't conjure up a vortex!
257
00:13:09,402 --> 00:13:11,401
Curt just got sucked
into another dimension, Remy!
258
00:13:11,402 --> 00:13:13,234
Oh, really, Augie? I thought that
portal went to Barnes and noble.
259
00:13:13,235 --> 00:13:15,234
- We got to go in after him.
- Curt wouldn't go in after me.
260
00:13:15,235 --> 00:13:17,526
Yeah, he would.
He's your friend.
261
00:13:17,527 --> 00:13:18,859
I hate friends!
262
00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:20,484
You were the one
that made a blood oath.
263
00:13:20,485 --> 00:13:21,943
All right, let's go.
264
00:13:21,944 --> 00:13:25,694
This mysterious portal
better be quick!
265
00:13:44,569 --> 00:13:46,319
What is that?
266
00:14:02,610 --> 00:14:06,027
Dippin' dots! -I wish we
were at Barnes & Noble.
267
00:14:15,944 --> 00:14:18,193
I'm not being a pussy.
That was really scary, right?
268
00:14:18,194 --> 00:14:21,609
I'm so scared,
my shit just shit its pants.
269
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,151
- Where are we?
- I don't know.
270
00:14:23,152 --> 00:14:24,984
Why do you act
like I've done this before?
271
00:14:24,985 --> 00:14:27,026
- What are those things?
- Look, it's curt!
272
00:14:27,027 --> 00:14:29,068
I'm an American, Jack!
Get your hands off me!
273
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:32,902
- Don't waterboard me, dude!
- Where are we?
274
00:14:37,527 --> 00:14:39,902
We're screwed.
Who are those people?
275
00:14:54,902 --> 00:14:56,318
- Lake of fire!
- Sin!
276
00:14:56,319 --> 00:14:57,734
- Lake of fire!
- Sin!
277
00:14:57,735 --> 00:14:59,359
- Lake of fire!
- Sin!
278
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:00,319
Lake of fire!
279
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:01,693
Holy shit!
280
00:15:01,694 --> 00:15:04,569
Dude, we got to hide.
281
00:15:09,235 --> 00:15:10,943
May I take your order?
282
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:14,776
I will have a pepperoni pizza,
please.
283
00:15:14,777 --> 00:15:16,401
There ain't no pepperoni pizza.
284
00:15:16,402 --> 00:15:19,276
Oh, I'm sorry, but it does say
pizza hut and taco bell,
285
00:15:19,277 --> 00:15:22,026
so I thought maybe I could get
some pizza as well.
286
00:15:22,027 --> 00:15:27,069
It says pizza, and it says taco,
but we only got taco.
287
00:15:29,277 --> 00:15:31,568
- You're being tortured.
- Oh, all right.
288
00:15:31,569 --> 00:15:33,568
Order another pizza. -I think
I see where this is headed.
289
00:15:33,569 --> 00:15:35,443
Just order the damn pizza!
290
00:15:35,444 --> 00:15:38,318
All right, we'll have a pizza
with extra cheese, please.
291
00:15:38,319 --> 00:15:39,859
There ain't no pizza.
292
00:15:39,860 --> 00:15:44,151
You can have
a Chalupa, burrito, Churro.
293
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,693
Now, it does say pizza hut/taco bell.
Yeah.
294
00:15:46,694 --> 00:15:50,109
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Welcome to hell!
295
00:15:50,110 --> 00:15:51,984
Oh, my god! We're in hell!
296
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:53,443
Lake of fire!
297
00:15:53,444 --> 00:15:54,943
"If you lend him a pen,
he chews on it."
298
00:15:54,944 --> 00:15:56,318
Lake of fire!
299
00:15:56,319 --> 00:15:58,068
"Fat guy
with the nickname "tiny"."
300
00:15:58,069 --> 00:16:00,234
Lake of fire!
301
00:16:00,235 --> 00:16:01,734
Lunch?
302
00:16:01,735 --> 00:16:03,151
Damn, man, we got 20 minutes
before break.
303
00:16:03,152 --> 00:16:04,776
Ah, who's gonna know?
304
00:16:04,777 --> 00:16:06,609
Sometimes I think your heart
is not in this anymore.
305
00:16:06,610 --> 00:16:08,359
Sorry, man, I'm just going
through
306
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,776
some fucking life changes
right now, you know?
307
00:16:10,777 --> 00:16:12,568
I'm gonna throw you
in the fucking flame.
308
00:16:12,569 --> 00:16:14,818
- Is that a mortal?
- What the fuck are you doing?
309
00:16:14,819 --> 00:16:17,276
Who, us? Uh...
310
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,026
Just floating around,
trying to get hammed, dude.
311
00:16:20,027 --> 00:16:22,943
Spring breakin' it.
312
00:16:22,944 --> 00:16:25,568
- Bullshit going on.
- Take 'em back to processing.
313
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:27,318
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Take them to the office.
314
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,151
- Where?
- Wait, let's talk about this!
315
00:16:30,152 --> 00:16:31,776
Ouch! Hey!
316
00:16:31,777 --> 00:16:32,610
Come on!
317
00:16:32,611 --> 00:16:35,151
Ouch! Ouch!
318
00:16:35,152 --> 00:16:39,359
Okay! Okay!
319
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,443
Please remove
all religious paraphernalia.
320
00:16:41,444 --> 00:16:44,193
If you're a priest or a nun,
that's just really funny
321
00:16:44,194 --> 00:16:45,901
because you wasted your life.
322
00:16:45,902 --> 00:16:47,901
Enjoy your stay in hell,
323
00:16:47,902 --> 00:16:50,276
and remember, you're here
for a reason or you're Jewish.
324
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,318
Pick up after yourself.
Your mother doesn't live here.
325
00:16:53,319 --> 00:16:55,902
If she does, she was a whore.
326
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:04,526
What is this place?
327
00:17:04,527 --> 00:17:07,652
Wait, what the fuck
is that thing?
328
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:13,109
Remy? Remy!
329
00:17:13,110 --> 00:17:14,902
What? There's nobody here.
330
00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:22,068
I don't know, Augie.
This place is incredible!
331
00:17:22,069 --> 00:17:24,068
No, Remy. Don't touch anything.
332
00:17:24,069 --> 00:17:25,985
This is stranger danger
all around us.
333
00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:30,984
Now, everyone,
eat your own genitals!
334
00:17:30,985 --> 00:17:33,068
Uh, we already ate 'em.
335
00:17:33,069 --> 00:17:36,568
Well, throw up your genitals
and eat them again!
336
00:17:36,569 --> 00:17:39,276
Our budget is out of control!
337
00:17:39,277 --> 00:17:41,151
And I've got a report here
338
00:17:41,152 --> 00:17:46,193
that says we're making lost
souls walk over warm coals!
339
00:17:46,194 --> 00:17:48,359
Ah, they're pretty hot.
340
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,651
I walked over them myself! It felt
like a freaking foot massage!
341
00:17:51,652 --> 00:17:53,318
We've all had to cut corners.
342
00:17:53,319 --> 00:17:56,068
Even the gluttons are beginning
to look anorexic.
343
00:17:56,069 --> 00:17:58,443
Our dental plan
has a steep deductible.
344
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:01,234
Our union hasn't had a sacrifice
in three years.
345
00:18:01,235 --> 00:18:03,151
The reason that shit's all
fucked up
346
00:18:03,152 --> 00:18:05,068
is 'cause we're not paying
our people right.
347
00:18:05,069 --> 00:18:06,734
- Yeah!
- Yeah, our team!
348
00:18:06,735 --> 00:18:09,027
Hell, yeah, nigger!
349
00:18:10,985 --> 00:18:13,068
Dude, I can't believe
you used the n-word.
350
00:18:13,069 --> 00:18:16,276
What? No, I could say it down here.
All right, down here's okay.
351
00:18:16,277 --> 00:18:20,194
All of you,
get the fuck out of here!
352
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:34,818
He is being a real bitch today.
353
00:18:34,819 --> 00:18:37,109
Gloria, hold my calls!
354
00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:40,401
Hump day.
355
00:18:40,402 --> 00:18:42,901
The lunchroom fridge
will be cleaned out on Friday.
356
00:18:42,902 --> 00:18:44,984
They should at least give us
till Monday.
357
00:18:44,985 --> 00:18:47,151
If you leave any food or drinks
or containers in there...
358
00:18:47,152 --> 00:18:49,234
- My spring rolls?
- They will be thrown out.
359
00:18:49,235 --> 00:18:51,901
- That's my food! It's still good!
- What?
360
00:18:51,902 --> 00:18:55,443
P.S. You also have a time-sensitive
e-mail from the demon's union.
361
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:57,984
Oh, demon's union!
What do they want?
362
00:18:57,985 --> 00:18:59,693
They put in a request
363
00:18:59,694 --> 00:19:02,526
to have the new mortal
tortured and sacrificed.
364
00:19:02,527 --> 00:19:04,651
Curt's gonna be sacrificed?
365
00:19:04,652 --> 00:19:06,901
- We've got to find him.
- Oh, boy.
366
00:19:06,902 --> 00:19:09,568
P.P.S. Barb's on her way down
here from heaven.
367
00:19:09,569 --> 00:19:12,151
What? She's flying down here
right now?
368
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:14,818
- I'll tell her you're unavailable.
- No, no, no!
369
00:19:14,819 --> 00:19:17,776
Tell her I've cleared
my schedule just for her.
370
00:19:17,777 --> 00:19:19,359
Okay.
371
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,734
I'm gonna be off the grid
for a few minutes.
372
00:19:21,735 --> 00:19:24,818
Now, I'll just rub one out so I
don't finish too quickly tonight.
373
00:19:24,819 --> 00:19:28,194
Ah! "Shirtz 'n' skinz" with a z.
374
00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:34,568
I love the way
you shoot up my heart
375
00:19:34,569 --> 00:19:38,234
now we'll get naked
as the day we were born
376
00:19:38,235 --> 00:19:40,443
she's straight from heaven
377
00:19:40,444 --> 00:19:42,109
I won't let go
378
00:19:42,110 --> 00:19:45,234
I won't let go, go, go
379
00:19:45,235 --> 00:19:46,818
hey, Remy, what are you doing?
380
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:49,068
I'm looking for clues
to help us find curt.
381
00:19:49,069 --> 00:19:53,110
Ooh, the devil's cell phone.
That might come in handy.
382
00:19:58,610 --> 00:20:01,776
The devil's actual devil's brew.
383
00:20:01,777 --> 00:20:03,110
Oh oh.
384
00:20:08,319 --> 00:20:11,527
Augie! Are you okay?
385
00:20:13,902 --> 00:20:16,943
Yeah, motherfucker!
That's the real shit!
386
00:20:16,944 --> 00:20:19,776
Shh. -More, more, I need more.
Please, please, give me more.
387
00:20:19,777 --> 00:20:23,609
I'd drink a pint of ass blood
for another sip of that brew!
388
00:20:23,610 --> 00:20:25,193
I need it inside of me!
389
00:20:25,194 --> 00:20:27,818
If heaven's right,
then I want to be wrong in hell
390
00:20:27,819 --> 00:20:29,902
with that sweet, sweet ambrosia!
391
00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:39,151
Love seat.
392
00:20:39,152 --> 00:20:42,694
She's my angel
393
00:20:43,569 --> 00:20:45,777
huh?
394
00:20:48,944 --> 00:20:51,193
What the hell
are you two doing here?
395
00:20:51,194 --> 00:20:53,984
Uh... uh... uh... -We're just
trying to save our friend curt.
396
00:20:53,985 --> 00:20:56,151
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You know, just in and out.
397
00:20:56,152 --> 00:21:00,693
Really? Who do you think you
are, Orpheus?
398
00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:02,151
Who's Orpheus?
399
00:21:02,152 --> 00:21:06,068
You don't know
your Greek mythology, do you?
400
00:21:06,069 --> 00:21:09,859
Orpheus, the mortal who came
down to hell to rescue his wife?
401
00:21:09,860 --> 00:21:12,318
Anyone? Man, public education!
402
00:21:12,319 --> 00:21:14,401
No wonder the Chinese
are kickin' our ass.
403
00:21:14,402 --> 00:21:17,651
Wait, so he finds mortals
and rescues them from hell?
404
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:20,734
Because you know what we do
to mortals in hell.
405
00:21:20,735 --> 00:21:22,901
Barb is on her way
down to your office.
406
00:21:22,902 --> 00:21:25,234
I told her she can't go in
unannounced.
407
00:21:25,235 --> 00:21:27,901
Damn! Look, I'm gonna kill both
of you,
408
00:21:27,902 --> 00:21:30,318
but I need some time alone
with an angel first,
409
00:21:30,319 --> 00:21:33,401
so sit over here and enjoy
your last few moments alive.
410
00:21:33,402 --> 00:21:34,818
It's gonna be great.
You're gonna love it.
411
00:21:34,819 --> 00:21:36,443
- Take your time!
- Yeah, no hurry.
412
00:21:36,444 --> 00:21:38,694
See you in a few.
413
00:21:48,652 --> 00:21:54,776
I've been loving you for so long
414
00:21:54,777 --> 00:22:00,444
I don't know if it's
right or wrong -ooh!
415
00:22:02,069 --> 00:22:05,859
Whoa, doll,
look at this new style of yours.
416
00:22:05,860 --> 00:22:08,234
You're quite the dandy.
417
00:22:08,235 --> 00:22:11,734
That's a real statement.
418
00:22:11,735 --> 00:22:13,359
Wow! You really look good.
419
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:14,943
Oh, you.
420
00:22:14,944 --> 00:22:17,651
- How do you do it?
- Low Carbs and porn.
421
00:22:17,652 --> 00:22:19,276
Barb, you got nice ones.
422
00:22:19,277 --> 00:22:22,151
Aww. See,
I'm not wearing a bra either.
423
00:22:22,152 --> 00:22:23,651
No, your wings.
424
00:22:23,652 --> 00:22:25,443
Have you had work done
on your wings?
425
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:27,318
- No.
- They're gorgeous.
426
00:22:27,319 --> 00:22:30,568
- Oh, devil, stop it.
- Ooh.
427
00:22:30,569 --> 00:22:33,276
I have a little problem.
428
00:22:33,277 --> 00:22:34,943
I want to help so bad.
429
00:22:34,944 --> 00:22:38,401
Somehow, I have to find
and extract two mortals
430
00:22:38,402 --> 00:22:42,026
from unauthorized damnation
within your jurisdiction.
431
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,651
Two mortals, huh?
432
00:22:43,652 --> 00:22:46,401
If I find them for you,
what's my reward?
433
00:22:46,402 --> 00:22:49,193
If you find them,
I'll do things with you
434
00:22:49,194 --> 00:22:52,193
that would make
the Internet blush.
435
00:22:52,194 --> 00:22:56,484
Oooh. Yeah.
436
00:22:56,485 --> 00:22:58,943
This is my lucky day.
437
00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:01,818
Look over there, Barb!
438
00:23:01,819 --> 00:23:03,068
Mini golf?
439
00:23:03,069 --> 00:23:06,734
Wait, hold on. Keep looking.
440
00:23:06,735 --> 00:23:08,819
- What?
- Work, machine!
441
00:23:10,194 --> 00:23:12,568
You know what? Stop. Just stop.
442
00:23:12,569 --> 00:23:14,901
Wait! Barb, where are you going?
443
00:23:14,902 --> 00:23:16,901
I'm flying back to heaven.
444
00:23:16,902 --> 00:23:19,276
Don't text me until you've found
the two mortals.
445
00:23:19,277 --> 00:23:21,234
Wait! Barb, I... I love you.
446
00:23:21,235 --> 00:23:24,859
Good luck!
447
00:23:24,860 --> 00:23:28,651
Gloria, I need you to put out
an APB on those two mortals.
448
00:23:28,652 --> 00:23:31,026
And make it clear
that if they're not found,
449
00:23:31,027 --> 00:23:34,234
I will rip
every demon's head off!
450
00:23:34,235 --> 00:23:36,693
Do you have any idea
where they're heading?
451
00:23:36,694 --> 00:23:41,318
Mmm, I might have told them
about Orpheus a little.
452
00:23:41,319 --> 00:23:43,651
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
453
00:23:43,652 --> 00:23:47,026
Attention, demons, there are two
mortals on the loose in hell.
454
00:23:47,027 --> 00:23:49,109
So, if everyone could
put down your Spears
455
00:23:49,110 --> 00:23:50,651
and look around your work area.
456
00:23:50,652 --> 00:23:52,526
Repeat, two mortals.
457
00:23:52,527 --> 00:23:55,359
Did we just get name-checked
by hell's public address system?
458
00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:57,276
One is a normal-looking guy,
459
00:23:57,277 --> 00:23:59,984
and the other one looks
like he only eats dough.
460
00:23:59,985 --> 00:24:02,193
That seemed a little mean.
Anybody?
461
00:24:02,194 --> 00:24:03,984
Whoa!
Augie, Augie, check it out.
462
00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:06,693
A gondola. Let's go!
463
00:24:06,694 --> 00:24:11,234
We are deploying all demons to
locate and capture the two mortals.
464
00:24:11,235 --> 00:24:13,651
They are on their way
to find Orpheus.
465
00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:15,902
Orpheus!
466
00:24:29,819 --> 00:24:31,818
Dude, we're gone-dola
in 60 seconds.
467
00:24:31,819 --> 00:24:33,193
Boo.
468
00:24:33,194 --> 00:24:35,151
What? Gone in 60 seconds
is a movie
469
00:24:35,152 --> 00:24:36,401
about you eating a wedding cake.
470
00:24:36,402 --> 00:24:37,651
Do you know where we're going?
471
00:24:37,652 --> 00:24:39,651
Let's find Orpheus.
472
00:24:39,652 --> 00:24:41,526
I got an idea
for another great punishment.
473
00:24:41,527 --> 00:24:44,318
Imagine this. Hot girl.
She asks you out.
474
00:24:44,319 --> 00:24:46,526
She's like,
"hey, let's go do Bikram yoga."
475
00:24:46,527 --> 00:24:48,026
You go. You do yoga.
476
00:24:48,027 --> 00:24:49,859
It's hot. It's sweaty.
She looks fucking great.
477
00:24:49,860 --> 00:24:53,484
She shows you every major
flexibility that she has.
478
00:24:53,485 --> 00:24:54,943
Sweaty in all the right places.
479
00:24:54,944 --> 00:24:57,068
What do they call that one move?
Dog down.
480
00:24:57,069 --> 00:24:59,068
She can get her feet
behind her ears.
481
00:24:59,069 --> 00:25:01,943
She can put her legs
behind her fucking neck...
482
00:25:01,944 --> 00:25:04,193
and walk home on her ass.
483
00:25:04,194 --> 00:25:06,318
She's making her body
into that alphabet
484
00:25:06,319 --> 00:25:07,484
right there on that yoga mat.
485
00:25:07,485 --> 00:25:09,276
A, b, c, d.
486
00:25:09,277 --> 00:25:11,109
- And she's spelling out "fuck me".
- Of course she is!
487
00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:12,818
While you're doing yoga,
which sucks for you,
488
00:25:12,819 --> 00:25:15,443
but you're gonna do it 'cause you're
gonna get to fuck this hot girl after.
489
00:25:15,444 --> 00:25:17,068
Oh, I love that!
490
00:25:17,069 --> 00:25:18,818
End of the night,
"good night, I got to go home."
491
00:25:18,819 --> 00:25:20,276
What?
492
00:25:20,277 --> 00:25:23,109
So you do yoga day after day
and no sex.
493
00:25:23,110 --> 00:25:26,068
That would be the ultimate
punishment for any man.
494
00:25:26,069 --> 00:25:27,776
That's a great punishment.
495
00:25:27,777 --> 00:25:30,026
I've always feared that I was
meant to die a virgin.
496
00:25:30,027 --> 00:25:31,526
Like, that's my main purpose.
497
00:25:31,527 --> 00:25:32,943
Shut up, Augie!
498
00:25:32,944 --> 00:25:34,818
Hey, does that look
like those mortals?
499
00:25:34,819 --> 00:25:36,943
- They found us!
- Oh, I guess it is.
500
00:25:36,944 --> 00:25:38,776
Throw them in the lake of fire!
501
00:25:38,777 --> 00:25:41,193
The mortals have been
spotted on the devil's gondola.
502
00:25:41,194 --> 00:25:42,609
- Come on.
- Over here!
503
00:25:42,610 --> 00:25:44,984
Bring back the mortals alive!
504
00:25:44,985 --> 00:25:47,151
- Let's go!
- No.
505
00:25:47,152 --> 00:25:50,360
- Three, two, one.
- It's a living.
506
00:25:56,110 --> 00:25:58,569
Run! Run!
507
00:26:00,819 --> 00:26:02,359
Get back here!
508
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:04,859
You're not going anywhere!
509
00:26:04,860 --> 00:26:09,276
- Augie!
- I'm gonna fuck you two up!
510
00:26:09,277 --> 00:26:12,484
- Where you gonna go now?
- Hold on!
511
00:26:12,485 --> 00:26:13,943
- There he is!
- Get 'em!
512
00:26:13,944 --> 00:26:15,401
Kill 'em!
513
00:26:15,402 --> 00:26:16,693
No! My mints!
514
00:26:16,694 --> 00:26:18,526
Hey, everybody, we got mints!
515
00:26:18,527 --> 00:26:20,277
It's raining mints!
516
00:26:22,944 --> 00:26:24,984
Now I got you!
517
00:26:24,985 --> 00:26:26,734
Hold on!
518
00:26:26,735 --> 00:26:28,859
You like getting stabbed?
519
00:26:28,860 --> 00:26:31,901
I'll cut that little face
of yours.
520
00:26:31,902 --> 00:26:34,152
- Maybe I'll make a bigger mouth.
- No, no, no, no.
521
00:26:54,485 --> 00:26:55,818
Here, you want a soda pop?
522
00:26:55,819 --> 00:26:57,526
Oh, I wouldn't say no.
523
00:26:57,527 --> 00:27:00,984
It's flat! You got flat soda!
524
00:27:00,985 --> 00:27:03,026
You got me.
525
00:27:03,027 --> 00:27:04,901
Here, you want
some Neapolitan ice cream?
526
00:27:04,902 --> 00:27:06,526
- Oh, thank you!
- All right, here it is.
527
00:27:06,527 --> 00:27:08,151
Oh, now, someone seems
to have eaten
528
00:27:08,152 --> 00:27:09,776
all of the chocolate
and vanilla.
529
00:27:09,777 --> 00:27:11,484
That's right.
You just have strawberry.
530
00:27:11,485 --> 00:27:13,859
Oh, well.
531
00:27:13,860 --> 00:27:17,734
- You should drink some of this milk.
- I'm not usually a milk drinker.
532
00:27:17,735 --> 00:27:19,401
- It's quik!
- Yeah.
533
00:27:19,402 --> 00:27:21,568
- It's strawberry quik!
- Not even chocolate quik.
534
00:27:21,569 --> 00:27:24,359
- No, it's that strawberry crap.
- Not fun.
535
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,069
Welcome to hell!
536
00:27:29,902 --> 00:27:32,818
Let's see.
Alumni association, no thanks.
537
00:27:32,819 --> 00:27:34,943
Starving children, fuck you.
538
00:27:34,944 --> 00:27:37,568
Devil, Sal
and Dave called to say
539
00:27:37,569 --> 00:27:40,609
they lost the two mortals
you were looking for.
540
00:27:40,610 --> 00:27:42,568
I think Barb's gonna be
disappointed.
541
00:27:42,569 --> 00:27:46,818
Damn it! I'm surrounded by
idiots. Put them through.
542
00:27:46,819 --> 00:27:49,734
Hey, boss.
543
00:27:49,735 --> 00:27:51,526
What are you doing?
544
00:27:51,527 --> 00:27:55,901
I just did yoga. Turns out
dudes only. Huge bummer.
545
00:27:55,902 --> 00:27:58,568
Oh, good! Oh, good!
You're finding your core.
546
00:27:58,569 --> 00:28:00,109
This is good to hear.
547
00:28:00,110 --> 00:28:05,193
Hey, once you find your core,
go find the mortals!
548
00:28:05,194 --> 00:28:06,651
Okay, plan of attack.
549
00:28:06,652 --> 00:28:08,984
Let's see. If I... A-ha!
550
00:28:08,985 --> 00:28:10,818
Gloria, I need you to announce
551
00:28:10,819 --> 00:28:13,443
the biggest sacrifice
at the crossroads
552
00:28:13,444 --> 00:28:16,443
- that hell has ever seen.
- Okay, devil.
553
00:28:16,444 --> 00:28:22,152
Then I'll simply wait for the
other mortals to come to me.
554
00:28:24,027 --> 00:28:27,152
I really got to grow a mustache.
555
00:28:36,485 --> 00:28:39,735
Now, let's see here. Push this.
556
00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:43,984
Faster than I remembered.
557
00:28:43,985 --> 00:28:47,359
This elevator can't be
up to code!
558
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,569
Let's see, the last time
it was inspected was...
559
00:28:53,777 --> 00:28:56,068
Okay, voided my bowels.
560
00:28:56,069 --> 00:28:59,027
You can do this, buddy.
This is for the demons.
561
00:29:03,152 --> 00:29:05,609
They love this shit.
Let's do this!
562
00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:09,152
All right, everybody.
Prepare to meet our dark lord!
563
00:29:10,652 --> 00:29:12,651
All hail the god of lies!
564
00:29:12,652 --> 00:29:14,193
You're goddamn right!
565
00:29:14,194 --> 00:29:16,943
- The worst of the worst!
- Fucking a!
566
00:29:16,944 --> 00:29:19,443
The hell pig of butt mountain!
567
00:29:19,444 --> 00:29:20,818
Don't love that one.
568
00:29:20,819 --> 00:29:22,943
The douchiest of all bags.
569
00:29:22,944 --> 00:29:24,276
That was kind of mean, actually.
570
00:29:24,277 --> 00:29:26,276
The dick of all assholes!
571
00:29:26,277 --> 00:29:28,193
Okay, that's enough.
572
00:29:28,194 --> 00:29:30,734
The guy who fucks your mother
and tells you about it.
573
00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:35,069
Always just one step too far!
574
00:29:36,527 --> 00:29:38,568
Where's the fucking mortal?
575
00:29:38,569 --> 00:29:41,359
Hot fuck action to the Max
576
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:45,651
that's what I like
hot fuck action to the Max
577
00:29:45,652 --> 00:29:47,359
got a big dick
578
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,568
what do you have to say
for yourself?
579
00:29:49,569 --> 00:29:51,193
Oh. Where am I?
580
00:29:51,194 --> 00:29:53,526
You poor dumb bastard.
581
00:29:53,527 --> 00:29:55,776
You don't even know
what's going on.
582
00:29:55,777 --> 00:29:57,568
Fella, you're in hell!
583
00:29:57,569 --> 00:29:59,859
Oh, boy. And who are you?
584
00:29:59,860 --> 00:30:01,651
Can you believe this guy?
585
00:30:01,652 --> 00:30:04,901
I'm the fucking devil!
586
00:30:04,902 --> 00:30:09,068
No one had the decency to torture
this guy before I got down here?
587
00:30:09,069 --> 00:30:11,984
The boys were just hoping
to see the master at work.
588
00:30:11,985 --> 00:30:14,401
You are the man, the devil!
589
00:30:14,402 --> 00:30:16,193
Enough ass kissing!
590
00:30:16,194 --> 00:30:21,901
Now, which one of these dastardly
contraptions shall I use?
591
00:30:21,902 --> 00:30:25,276
Ah, perhaps this one.
592
00:30:25,277 --> 00:30:28,652
Oh, no, no. That's our Foosball
table, chief.
593
00:30:29,985 --> 00:30:31,818
Moving on.
594
00:30:31,819 --> 00:30:33,818
A-ha.
595
00:30:33,819 --> 00:30:36,693
Get in here.
596
00:30:36,694 --> 00:30:40,234
Okay.
597
00:30:40,235 --> 00:30:45,859
There! Tell me of the pain
you feel so we may laugh at you.
598
00:30:45,860 --> 00:30:48,443
Uh... okay.
599
00:30:48,444 --> 00:30:50,234
Actually, the bouncing
up and down
600
00:30:50,235 --> 00:30:52,109
is kind of giving me a tickle
in a funny spot.
601
00:30:52,110 --> 00:30:53,526
It is not tickling!
602
00:30:53,527 --> 00:30:54,818
Is this a Sybian?
603
00:30:54,819 --> 00:30:57,193
- No!
- I assure you this is a Sybian.
604
00:30:57,194 --> 00:30:58,194
- You get off it.
- Try this.
605
00:30:58,195 --> 00:30:59,443
Let me on.
606
00:30:59,444 --> 00:31:02,609
- Let me get off.
- Let me on!
607
00:31:02,610 --> 00:31:05,444
It's a Sybian.
608
00:31:15,819 --> 00:31:17,734
Oh, wait a minute, guys,
seriously.
609
00:31:17,735 --> 00:31:20,818
Come on, what do you want?
I'll give you anything.
610
00:31:20,819 --> 00:31:23,068
Please don't do this,
for god's sake!
611
00:31:23,069 --> 00:31:26,318
Please! I'll stroke your shaft
and play with your nuts!
612
00:31:26,319 --> 00:31:28,234
I'll stick my fingers
in your ass.
613
00:31:28,235 --> 00:31:30,109
I will tickle your balls.
614
00:31:30,110 --> 00:31:33,985
I'll suck everybody's cock here!
Whose cock is first?
615
00:31:35,777 --> 00:31:38,234
Don't do this! I'll suck...
Oh, god!
616
00:31:38,235 --> 00:31:42,526
Kill them all
and let god sort 'em out.
617
00:31:42,527 --> 00:31:44,651
Who's next?
618
00:31:44,652 --> 00:31:48,734
Shut up, or I'll drill your brains
and turn you into sex zombies.
619
00:31:48,735 --> 00:31:50,193
Why are you mortals here?
620
00:31:50,194 --> 00:31:51,359
I...
621
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,193
He found a crying devil book
622
00:31:53,194 --> 00:31:55,193
and made our friend
take a blood oath,
623
00:31:55,194 --> 00:31:57,651
which I was up for, but now
I look back on as a mistake.
624
00:31:57,652 --> 00:31:59,651
And he broke the oath.
That's why we're here.
625
00:31:59,652 --> 00:32:02,318
Not because I... -why are
you looking for Orpheus?
626
00:32:02,319 --> 00:32:07,069
Because he... -because Orpheus is the
only one who can save our friend!
627
00:32:09,694 --> 00:32:11,401
- Girl.
- Girl.
628
00:32:11,402 --> 00:32:14,734
- Hey, you tricked us!
- Yeah, that's false advertising.
629
00:32:14,735 --> 00:32:17,359
I know, I'm bad.
630
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:20,276
But I could still kill you
'cause I'm half-demon.
631
00:32:20,277 --> 00:32:22,484
- Oh, okay.
- Take me to Orpheus!
632
00:32:22,485 --> 00:32:25,318
Only if you take us
to curt first.
633
00:32:25,319 --> 00:32:27,359
Fuck, no.
634
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,401
Yeah, the way I see it, you
can't find Orpheus without us,
635
00:32:31,402 --> 00:32:35,818
so we've got the upper hand,
purple lady!
636
00:32:35,819 --> 00:32:39,068
Take me to Orpheus!
637
00:32:39,069 --> 00:32:40,776
Hey, that's my heart.
638
00:32:40,777 --> 00:32:42,651
Ten, nine...
639
00:32:42,652 --> 00:32:44,151
Heart belongs in body.
640
00:32:44,152 --> 00:32:46,734
Oh, do you need
your little heart? Seven...
641
00:32:46,735 --> 00:32:48,234
Pretty sure you're gonna die!
642
00:32:48,235 --> 00:32:50,068
Take my liver.
It's already dead.
643
00:32:50,069 --> 00:32:52,526
- It needs its owner.
- Put it back in.
644
00:32:52,527 --> 00:32:55,151
Five... Oh, it's slowing down.
645
00:32:55,152 --> 00:32:57,859
Three, two...
646
00:32:57,860 --> 00:33:00,193
That shouldn't be outside
of my body.
647
00:33:00,194 --> 00:33:03,318
Take your last breath.
648
00:33:03,319 --> 00:33:05,902
Okay, okay, okay,
don't kill my friend!
649
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:12,151
I saw a white light, and then
my grandma-mommy was there,
650
00:33:12,152 --> 00:33:15,318
and she was like, "hey, Remington,
would you like a cookie?"
651
00:33:15,319 --> 00:33:16,693
Where's Orpheus?
652
00:33:16,694 --> 00:33:18,276
Okay! Okay!
I got his address in here.
653
00:33:18,277 --> 00:33:19,859
Cracked screen.
654
00:33:19,860 --> 00:33:22,109
He's in the ancient...
655
00:33:22,110 --> 00:33:24,484
The ancient realm.
656
00:33:24,485 --> 00:33:28,943
It looks like the corner of inferno
and Martin Luther king Jr. drive.
657
00:33:28,944 --> 00:33:30,734
That sounds
like a good neighborhood.
658
00:33:30,735 --> 00:33:32,359
Do you know where that is?
659
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:35,068
Durmessa. That lying bitch.
660
00:33:35,069 --> 00:33:37,276
He's been down there
this whole time.
661
00:33:37,277 --> 00:33:39,859
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.
662
00:33:39,860 --> 00:33:43,568
You guys help me find Orpheus, and
I'll get you to your friend curt.
663
00:33:43,569 --> 00:33:46,610
- Yes.
- Deal!
664
00:33:50,569 --> 00:33:54,068
Okay, everyone, keep it down.
665
00:33:54,069 --> 00:33:55,818
Let's get this thing started.
666
00:33:55,819 --> 00:33:58,359
Oh, is that the mortal
you're feeding to Beelzebub?
667
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,151
Don't worry about it, okay?
I got it handled.
668
00:34:01,152 --> 00:34:03,526
Gang, curt. Curt, gang.
669
00:34:03,527 --> 00:34:06,110
Hey, nobody told me it was
bring your mortal to work day.
670
00:34:07,777 --> 00:34:09,776
Oh, is that what you think
we're here for,
671
00:34:09,777 --> 00:34:11,693
so you can all make jokes?
672
00:34:11,694 --> 00:34:14,276
I just got word
we're gonna start judging pets
673
00:34:14,277 --> 00:34:16,651
so dogs can go to heaven.
674
00:34:16,652 --> 00:34:18,234
You know what that means?
675
00:34:18,235 --> 00:34:21,318
Yes! We're getting
all the asshole dogs!
676
00:34:21,319 --> 00:34:23,568
Yeah, we get
like inbred motherfuckers.
677
00:34:23,569 --> 00:34:27,526
That's a lot of dogs. Now, I'm
not running a kennel here.
678
00:34:27,527 --> 00:34:28,901
Hey, you!
Does everyone have dogs?
679
00:34:28,902 --> 00:34:31,443
Well, not everyone.
I have a cat.
680
00:34:31,444 --> 00:34:33,818
You know what the hardest part
about having cats is?
681
00:34:33,819 --> 00:34:36,194
Telling your parents
you're gay. No.
682
00:34:37,860 --> 00:34:39,776
Hey! Cut the homophobic shit,
you got it?
683
00:34:39,777 --> 00:34:42,569
Did you know that Azazel
over here is gay?
684
00:34:44,610 --> 00:34:46,443
Sorry to out you, AZ.
685
00:34:46,444 --> 00:34:48,734
Anyway, now I got to figure out
686
00:34:48,735 --> 00:34:51,693
who's gonna clean up
all that dog shit! -No!
687
00:34:51,694 --> 00:34:54,193
Hey, bro, just let
the fucking mortal do it.
688
00:34:54,194 --> 00:34:55,693
Or feed it to the gluttons.
689
00:34:55,694 --> 00:34:58,444
- Yeah, dawg!
- Yeah! That's the way to do it.
690
00:35:02,402 --> 00:35:05,693
Will all of you
get the fuck out of here?!
691
00:35:05,694 --> 00:35:08,943
What, what?
Somebody's crazy evil today.
692
00:35:08,944 --> 00:35:12,235
Curt, come sit over here, buddy.
693
00:35:16,485 --> 00:35:18,901
- Whoa!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
694
00:35:18,902 --> 00:35:21,318
Hold on, it's gonna get bumpy!
695
00:35:21,319 --> 00:35:23,484
Deema, I think we're lost!
696
00:35:23,485 --> 00:35:26,610
The GPS says we're supposed to
pass a bail bonds and a wig store.
697
00:35:29,194 --> 00:35:33,818
These idiots that work for me
make a pile of shit,
698
00:35:33,819 --> 00:35:35,379
and then they say,
"turn it into roses."
699
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,734
- Whoa! Whoa, what happened?
- Oh, that's better.
700
00:35:39,735 --> 00:35:41,359
Bro, you just fucking shrunk.
701
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:44,276
Well, that version of me
is sort of my business suit.
702
00:35:44,277 --> 00:35:46,693
- Keeps the demons in line.
- Really?
703
00:35:46,694 --> 00:35:49,526
Devil, the computer
network is down again.
704
00:35:49,527 --> 00:35:51,068
I don't need this right now.
705
00:35:51,069 --> 00:35:53,609
And it can't get here
till tomorrow.
706
00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:56,359
Do you know that everything
we use here is Dell?
707
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,734
- Can you believe that?
- Uh...
708
00:35:58,735 --> 00:36:01,943
I would much prefer a Mac. It's
friendlier for creative types.
709
00:36:01,944 --> 00:36:03,984
You know,
I consider myself an artist.
710
00:36:03,985 --> 00:36:07,401
Oh, an artist like Picasso
or Banksy? Can I see some work?
711
00:36:07,402 --> 00:36:10,443
Well, I do have this one thing
that I've been working on.
712
00:36:10,444 --> 00:36:12,776
- Oh, you got to let me see it.
- It's a black-light painting.
713
00:36:12,777 --> 00:36:15,401
And you see here, this is a little
devil on a dune buggy, right?
714
00:36:15,402 --> 00:36:18,568
And he's flipping off...
715
00:36:18,569 --> 00:36:21,068
What? What is that?
I can't read your reaction.
716
00:36:21,069 --> 00:36:22,568
No, it's really good.
717
00:36:22,569 --> 00:36:24,068
Interesting thing about this...
718
00:36:24,069 --> 00:36:25,526
Looks like a fucking cartoon.
719
00:36:25,527 --> 00:36:27,651
Nope. That's a realist painting.
720
00:36:27,652 --> 00:36:30,651
That's fucking hilarious. God! Do
you have any more funny pictures?
721
00:36:30,652 --> 00:36:32,484
No. You don't get to see
any more of my art.
722
00:36:32,485 --> 00:36:34,359
There's your first punishment
in hell.
723
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,652
- That's...
- You did it to yourself.
724
00:36:40,985 --> 00:36:42,901
We're almost there.
725
00:36:42,902 --> 00:36:46,027
- I got to go to the bathroom.
- -Use a cup.
726
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,152
This is the way to Orpheus.
727
00:36:57,944 --> 00:37:00,359
What is this place?
A microbrewery?
728
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:04,026
Stay behind me and keep quiet.
729
00:37:04,027 --> 00:37:06,152
What the fuck is that thing?
730
00:37:07,777 --> 00:37:09,526
Durmessa.
731
00:37:09,527 --> 00:37:11,151
You want to party?
732
00:37:11,152 --> 00:37:13,026
She's been
in a two-thousand-year bender.
733
00:37:13,027 --> 00:37:15,901
I want you to come on over here
and look under my flap.
734
00:37:15,902 --> 00:37:18,943
Please, stop.
Is that right, mom?
735
00:37:18,944 --> 00:37:20,943
- Mom?
- How could you do it?
736
00:37:20,944 --> 00:37:23,068
All these years,
I've been searching,
737
00:37:23,069 --> 00:37:24,818
and he's been down here
this whole time!
738
00:37:24,819 --> 00:37:27,318
He's a fuckface and a deadbeat.
739
00:37:27,319 --> 00:37:30,859
What? Orpheus is a poet,
a noble warrior.
740
00:37:30,860 --> 00:37:33,443
You're in love with a drink!
741
00:37:33,444 --> 00:37:36,734
You wouldn't dare!
742
00:37:36,735 --> 00:37:39,068
Open the portal.
743
00:37:39,069 --> 00:37:42,359
You stupid little bitch!
744
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,068
Devil's brew!
745
00:37:44,069 --> 00:37:47,109
I'll lick your can
for 30 more drops of it!
746
00:37:47,110 --> 00:37:49,860
Stop it! I'll fucking kill you!
747
00:37:51,485 --> 00:37:53,776
You should have told me!
748
00:37:53,777 --> 00:37:57,484
I'm a swan!
749
00:37:57,485 --> 00:38:00,776
My bottom says meow.
750
00:38:00,777 --> 00:38:03,943
- You fat Pillbilly!
- Ow!
751
00:38:03,944 --> 00:38:06,068
You're letting us through!
752
00:38:06,069 --> 00:38:07,318
Stop it!
753
00:38:07,319 --> 00:38:08,526
I made smelly.
754
00:38:08,527 --> 00:38:10,484
God, Deema!
755
00:38:10,485 --> 00:38:12,193
Parkour!
756
00:38:12,194 --> 00:38:13,776
My hands and feet are cops!
757
00:38:13,777 --> 00:38:17,194
- My hands and feet are cops!
- No, no, no!
758
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,610
- Oh, mama!
- Oh, god!
759
00:38:29,027 --> 00:38:30,734
Why are we going
down here again?
760
00:38:30,735 --> 00:38:33,234
- Curt.
- Right. Your friend curt.
761
00:38:33,235 --> 00:38:38,401
- Our friend curt.
- Yeah.
762
00:38:38,402 --> 00:38:41,276
He's not what you think.
763
00:38:41,277 --> 00:38:45,194
He's only gonna
disappoint you, Deema.
764
00:38:46,485 --> 00:38:49,194
I'm used to disappointment.
765
00:38:57,235 --> 00:38:59,609
It feels like my brain is
vibrating in a good way.
766
00:38:59,610 --> 00:39:02,734
Best thing about whip-its, you'll
feel totally fine in 15 seconds.
767
00:39:02,735 --> 00:39:05,152
We used to do these
at the carnival all the time.
768
00:39:09,069 --> 00:39:12,693
So, devil, what's your story,
man? How'd you get down here?
769
00:39:12,694 --> 00:39:14,234
I used to live upstairs,
you know.
770
00:39:14,235 --> 00:39:16,068
Was actually besties
with the big man.
771
00:39:16,069 --> 00:39:17,609
- You mean god?
- Yes, sir.
772
00:39:17,610 --> 00:39:19,401
I was in charge
of his armies, too.
773
00:39:19,402 --> 00:39:20,984
But they went off to battle,
774
00:39:20,985 --> 00:39:23,193
and I was off
with this sweet set of wings.
775
00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:26,026
Man, there was this angel
that was epic in bed.
776
00:39:26,027 --> 00:39:30,151
- She had a pussy inside her pussy.
- What? Is that real?
777
00:39:30,152 --> 00:39:35,234
Turns out god was dating her,
too, so, I guess I'm the asshole.
778
00:39:35,235 --> 00:39:37,193
So, wait, wait, wait,
you're the devil
779
00:39:37,194 --> 00:39:39,276
and have been condemned
to hell for eternity
780
00:39:39,277 --> 00:39:41,818
- for fucking god's girlfriend?
- Yup.
781
00:39:41,819 --> 00:39:44,734
Whoa, it sounds like you got
some kind of angel fetish, man.
782
00:39:44,735 --> 00:39:46,109
They're gonna be
the death of me.
783
00:39:46,110 --> 00:39:48,276
- Check this shit out.
- Oh, yeah!
784
00:39:48,277 --> 00:39:50,443
- Wow, what's her name?
- Barb.
785
00:39:50,444 --> 00:39:52,026
I fucking love her, man.
786
00:39:52,027 --> 00:39:55,151
- But she barely knows I exist.
- Oh, I doubt that.
787
00:39:55,152 --> 00:39:59,444
Oh, man, those wings
are so white and soft.
788
00:40:02,110 --> 00:40:05,401
Barb, why aren't we married?
789
00:40:05,402 --> 00:40:07,694
Whoa!
790
00:40:10,652 --> 00:40:13,276
Migraines in hell
are really bad.
791
00:40:13,277 --> 00:40:14,526
I blacked out.
792
00:40:14,527 --> 00:40:16,526
Yeah.
793
00:40:16,527 --> 00:40:19,776
Don't let me drink devil's brew
again. Oh, my god.
794
00:40:19,777 --> 00:40:22,318
Hey, I didn't have sex
with that blue lady, did I?
795
00:40:22,319 --> 00:40:24,651
Not in the biblical sense.
796
00:40:24,652 --> 00:40:27,443
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
797
00:40:27,444 --> 00:40:29,359
This must be the way to Orpheus.
798
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:30,859
What, we're gonna swim there?
799
00:40:30,860 --> 00:40:32,484
Nope, we're gonna take
that submersible.
800
00:40:32,485 --> 00:40:35,901
Cool.
801
00:40:35,902 --> 00:40:39,318
Augie, take this rope
and attach it to that hook.
802
00:40:39,319 --> 00:40:42,401
Remy, you go inside
and man the controls.
803
00:40:42,402 --> 00:40:43,526
Come on, hop to it.
804
00:40:43,527 --> 00:40:45,443
Jeez, who's side are you on?
805
00:40:45,444 --> 00:40:47,859
- What, you don't like teamwork?
- I'm just trying to be positive
806
00:40:47,860 --> 00:40:52,318
and build a foundation of trust
within the framework. Wow!
807
00:40:52,319 --> 00:40:54,526
Oh, yeah.
808
00:40:54,527 --> 00:40:58,484
Me Strokey. Me have a Strokey.
809
00:40:58,485 --> 00:41:02,651
Losing motor skills.
Tasting pennies.
810
00:41:02,652 --> 00:41:06,402
I'm releasing the first cable
now, Augie!
811
00:41:09,985 --> 00:41:12,277
Damn it, Augie, get inside!
812
00:41:13,777 --> 00:41:17,526
I'll have to adjust
the ballast manually.
813
00:41:17,527 --> 00:41:20,901
Hey, what happened?
I'm so fake interested.
814
00:41:20,902 --> 00:41:23,069
Whoa.
815
00:41:40,569 --> 00:41:42,901
- Whoa.
- Purple paradise.
816
00:41:42,902 --> 00:41:45,109
Come on. You guys,
if we're gonna get through this,
817
00:41:45,110 --> 00:41:46,943
you're gonna have
to listen to me.
818
00:41:46,944 --> 00:41:49,652
- I do what I want when I want.
- Really?
819
00:41:50,944 --> 00:41:52,776
Get this off me!
820
00:41:52,777 --> 00:41:55,527
You're gonna wear this
until you learn to listen.
821
00:41:57,777 --> 00:42:00,859
Well, dip me in salt
and lick my asshole.
822
00:42:00,860 --> 00:42:02,318
What?
823
00:42:02,319 --> 00:42:05,901
It's a saying
I'm trying to get started.
824
00:42:05,902 --> 00:42:09,068
- Hey, what's this?
- Yeah, that's my idea book.
825
00:42:09,069 --> 00:42:12,484
I jot down new punishments I
think of as I go about my day.
826
00:42:12,485 --> 00:42:15,151
Well, the devil has
a little genius pad.
827
00:42:15,152 --> 00:42:16,609
Let's hear what you got.
828
00:42:16,610 --> 00:42:18,484
It's a catapult, right,
with poop inside.
829
00:42:18,485 --> 00:42:20,401
See, now these here,
they're stink lines.
830
00:42:20,402 --> 00:42:22,109
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, devil.
831
00:42:22,110 --> 00:42:24,109
That dude getting sacrificed
looks a lot like me.
832
00:42:24,110 --> 00:42:25,984
Yeah, my cartoonist
is good, huh?
833
00:42:25,985 --> 00:42:28,234
What, you mean
that's supposed to be me?
834
00:42:28,235 --> 00:42:30,359
Yeah. You're the one being sacrificed.
I thought I told you that.
835
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,569
What?
836
00:42:36,444 --> 00:42:39,734
Augie, get your head in the game, man!
What's the matter with you?
837
00:42:39,735 --> 00:42:42,776
I don't know, Remy.
I think I'm in love.
838
00:42:42,777 --> 00:42:45,734
Oh, no, no, no.
We're coming in too fast.
839
00:42:45,735 --> 00:42:48,151
You wouldn't even know
what to do with her!
840
00:42:48,152 --> 00:42:50,901
Okay, little tubby kid
from "goonies"?
841
00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:52,151
30 degrees to starboard!
842
00:42:52,152 --> 00:42:53,693
I got it, Deema. I'll do it!
843
00:42:53,694 --> 00:42:57,359
See? We have a connection, Remy.
844
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,526
Why is the sub listing? Oh, no.
845
00:42:59,527 --> 00:43:02,859
- This is really bad, Augie.
- She said, "augie"!
846
00:43:02,860 --> 00:43:05,443
You're in the friend zone,
and you don't even know it.
847
00:43:05,444 --> 00:43:07,401
How would you know
the friend zone?
848
00:43:07,402 --> 00:43:09,984
I've only read about the friend
zone in bummer magazine.
849
00:43:09,985 --> 00:43:15,694
See, I love nobody, and that's
what makes me a leader.
850
00:43:18,527 --> 00:43:20,277
What the fuck is that?
851
00:43:30,152 --> 00:43:33,151
This is an rpg nightmare.
852
00:43:33,152 --> 00:43:36,109
Where there's no leveling up.
Oh, my god.
853
00:43:36,110 --> 00:43:37,568
Deema, are you okay?
854
00:43:37,569 --> 00:43:40,527
We've crossed over
to the ancient realm.
855
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:45,610
Get behind me!
856
00:43:46,860 --> 00:43:50,484
You travel the path of Orpheus!
857
00:43:50,485 --> 00:43:51,734
Yes, we do!
858
00:43:51,735 --> 00:43:55,735
Then, know the fate of Orpheus!
859
00:44:00,027 --> 00:44:03,276
Get it? This is the fate
of Orpheus. I'm still alive.
860
00:44:03,277 --> 00:44:06,777
- This mech is pretty tits, right?
- Huh?
861
00:44:15,527 --> 00:44:17,776
Wait, you're Orpheus?
862
00:44:17,777 --> 00:44:21,484
I've spent my whole life dreaming of
the day I could finally meet you.
863
00:44:21,485 --> 00:44:23,193
Well, that's very flattering,
864
00:44:23,194 --> 00:44:25,609
but I try to be upfront
with all my groupies.
865
00:44:25,610 --> 00:44:27,568
I'm not the marrying type.
866
00:44:27,569 --> 00:44:30,151
No, we've come to rescue you.
867
00:44:30,152 --> 00:44:32,652
You can rescue my sperm
from my testes.
868
00:44:34,777 --> 00:44:36,276
You guys want to see my digs?
869
00:44:36,277 --> 00:44:39,818
Fuck and yes together equals
"fuck, yes"!
870
00:44:39,819 --> 00:44:41,693
Then, fucking yes it is.
Let's do this.
871
00:44:41,694 --> 00:44:44,401
Orpheus! Nice to meet you.
I'm Augie.
872
00:44:44,402 --> 00:44:47,234
I put skittles in my cereal.
873
00:44:47,235 --> 00:44:49,193
Who is this mushy man?
874
00:44:49,194 --> 00:44:51,859
We were told you're an expert
at getting mortals out of hell.
875
00:44:51,860 --> 00:44:54,276
Who told you that?
876
00:44:54,277 --> 00:44:56,193
Is that true?
877
00:44:56,194 --> 00:44:58,401
- You're really gonna kill me?
- Yeah.
878
00:44:58,402 --> 00:45:00,318
I thought we had a good thing
going on here.
879
00:45:00,319 --> 00:45:02,818
- We were just bro-ing out.
- We were.
880
00:45:02,819 --> 00:45:06,776
But it says here that you made
a blood oath, and you broke it.
881
00:45:06,777 --> 00:45:09,859
- Seriously, a blood oath?
- Yeah, it was dumb.
882
00:45:09,860 --> 00:45:14,568
Nobody does blood oaths anymore. Not
since that guy fucked a monkey.
883
00:45:14,569 --> 00:45:19,609
Well, I... -You promised somebody a
breath mint and you reneged. Really?
884
00:45:19,610 --> 00:45:23,859
That is lame.
885
00:45:23,860 --> 00:45:26,984
But also punishable by death
and an eternity in hell.
886
00:45:26,985 --> 00:45:30,359
Damn! Seriously,
there's nothing you can do?
887
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:34,318
If you'd given him a mint back,
you wouldn't even be here.
888
00:45:34,319 --> 00:45:38,193
With my ideas for hell, I'm worth a
lot more to you alive than dead.
889
00:45:38,194 --> 00:45:42,401
Well, you got a point.
Hm, options, possibilities.
890
00:45:42,402 --> 00:45:46,151
You know, I could give another mortal
to the demons union, spare your life.
891
00:45:46,152 --> 00:45:48,318
That's great!
What can I do to repay you?
892
00:45:48,319 --> 00:45:53,109
Why don't you help me to make
this sacrifice a huge event?
893
00:45:53,110 --> 00:46:01,110
A spectacle so big that it might
even impress a certain angel.
894
00:46:01,319 --> 00:46:02,651
- Deal.
- Deal.
895
00:46:02,652 --> 00:46:05,109
That's it? Thank you, devil.
896
00:46:05,110 --> 00:46:10,109
Actually, I'm going to need you to
sign and initial this and this.
897
00:46:10,110 --> 00:46:12,068
It's a non-disclosure agreement.
898
00:46:12,069 --> 00:46:14,568
Oh, and anyone working here
under my employ needs
899
00:46:14,569 --> 00:46:16,151
to pass a urine test.
900
00:46:16,152 --> 00:46:18,109
We just did drugs together
like an hour ago.
901
00:46:18,110 --> 00:46:22,027
I know. I just kind of
wanted your piss. -Oh.
902
00:46:27,902 --> 00:46:29,859
Down here!
903
00:46:29,860 --> 00:46:33,194
No way, that's so rad!
904
00:46:39,152 --> 00:46:41,026
Hey, is that a pogo stick?
905
00:46:41,027 --> 00:46:43,984
It sure is, Bromeo.
150 jumps yesterday.
906
00:46:43,985 --> 00:46:45,151
Give it up, no breaks.
907
00:46:45,152 --> 00:46:47,568
- What, what?
- Yeah, yeah!
908
00:46:47,569 --> 00:46:50,401
Wait, I thought you said
pogo sticks are for pussies.
909
00:46:50,402 --> 00:46:53,401
- You said what about a pogo stick?
- Um...
910
00:46:53,402 --> 00:46:55,568
You said the pogo stick
was a dick,
911
00:46:55,569 --> 00:46:58,609
and only a pussy would need to jump
up and down on it over and over.
912
00:46:58,610 --> 00:47:03,484
No, I didn't say pogo sticks,
I said hobo dicks.
913
00:47:03,485 --> 00:47:04,984
Why is this woman lying?
914
00:47:04,985 --> 00:47:08,276
He's a fat little lesbian
that lies.
915
00:47:08,277 --> 00:47:09,609
I like pogo sticks.
916
00:47:09,610 --> 00:47:11,443
I would never disrespect
a pogo stick.
917
00:47:11,444 --> 00:47:14,776
This is what you've been doing
for the last 2,000 years?
918
00:47:14,777 --> 00:47:16,901
You've been down here
playing with toys.
919
00:47:16,902 --> 00:47:20,276
Check that as a yes.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
920
00:47:20,277 --> 00:47:23,401
No, thank you, Charon.
We're fine.
921
00:47:23,402 --> 00:47:25,568
That guy thinks his boats
are the shit.
922
00:47:25,569 --> 00:47:27,568
The wood is rotting.
923
00:47:27,569 --> 00:47:30,651
It's a boat only fit
for illegal immigrants.
924
00:47:30,652 --> 00:47:34,984
I wish he'd just row back
to Cuba!
925
00:47:34,985 --> 00:47:37,651
Remy rems,
check out my skills, yo.
926
00:47:37,652 --> 00:47:39,734
Hell, yeah, man!
927
00:47:39,735 --> 00:47:42,484
- Wow!
- Pretty cool, huh? That's me.
928
00:47:42,485 --> 00:47:45,735
- She looks pretty hot.
- Look how hot I am.
929
00:47:47,444 --> 00:47:49,276
That's incredible, man.
You painted that?
930
00:47:49,277 --> 00:47:51,859
I painted it and posed for it
at the same time.
931
00:47:51,860 --> 00:47:54,401
How do you even physically
do that? You're amazing.
932
00:47:54,402 --> 00:47:56,109
Remy, I am just like you.
933
00:47:56,110 --> 00:47:59,359
I put my underwear
on one ball at a time.
934
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:00,818
When did you learn to paint?
935
00:48:00,819 --> 00:48:02,901
The moment I was born,
I came out of the womb,
936
00:48:02,902 --> 00:48:07,277
and I quickly turned around, and
I painted my mother's vagina.
937
00:48:09,569 --> 00:48:12,984
You guys like the lyre?
938
00:48:12,985 --> 00:48:15,026
- Is that like a guitar?
- I don't know.
939
00:48:15,027 --> 00:48:18,651
Does a guitar increase the gravity
of a pair of women's panties?
940
00:48:18,652 --> 00:48:20,526
Mm-hm.
941
00:48:20,527 --> 00:48:22,526
I could make a tree
bone me with this thing.
942
00:48:22,527 --> 00:48:28,026
And the trees will bone you
here, so be careful.
943
00:48:28,027 --> 00:48:31,193
Yeah, that sounds good.
A tree will fuck me?
944
00:48:31,194 --> 00:48:33,193
When I was a small boy,
945
00:48:33,194 --> 00:48:36,151
I was walking through a forest,
and a tree tried to overpower me.
946
00:48:36,152 --> 00:48:38,193
Ah, really? What did you do?
947
00:48:38,194 --> 00:48:39,693
He pushed me on the ground
948
00:48:39,694 --> 00:48:41,901
and wrapped his leaves
around my face and arms,
949
00:48:41,902 --> 00:48:45,859
and then, the next thing I knew,
a branch was penetrating my ass.
950
00:48:45,860 --> 00:48:48,276
Oh, god!
951
00:48:48,277 --> 00:48:50,651
It was a pointy, pointy branch.
952
00:48:50,652 --> 00:48:53,401
I mean, did he wear,
like, a leaf condom or anything?
953
00:48:53,402 --> 00:48:56,193
No, just bark.
954
00:48:56,194 --> 00:49:00,902
When he was done, he shed his
acorns upon my back.
955
00:49:02,652 --> 00:49:06,151
Oh, that's the worst thing
I've ever heard.
956
00:49:06,152 --> 00:49:12,068
Um, Orpheus, what were you wearing
when the tree violated you?
957
00:49:12,069 --> 00:49:13,526
You think I asked for it?
958
00:49:13,527 --> 00:49:15,651
Were you maybe dressed
like a bush?
959
00:49:15,652 --> 00:49:18,026
I was dressed
like a human being!
960
00:49:18,027 --> 00:49:19,734
All right, I'm sorry.
961
00:49:19,735 --> 00:49:22,318
I'm gonna go and start a shelter
for tree rape victims.
962
00:49:22,319 --> 00:49:24,818
It's not a joke!
963
00:49:24,819 --> 00:49:27,359
Mr. Orpheus,
why have you stayed here
964
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:28,901
if you could leave at any time?
965
00:49:28,902 --> 00:49:31,984
Especially with trees
like my uncle Carl.
966
00:49:31,985 --> 00:49:33,776
Well, me and my road Dawgs
967
00:49:33,777 --> 00:49:36,318
used to come down here
all the time rescuing virgins,
968
00:49:36,319 --> 00:49:38,859
and they'd say,
"oh, wassup now, gangsta?
969
00:49:38,860 --> 00:49:41,068
Let me thank you
with my lady parts."
970
00:49:41,069 --> 00:49:42,609
"Well, if I must."
971
00:49:42,610 --> 00:49:44,526
"Oh, by the way,
this baby's yours."
972
00:49:44,527 --> 00:49:46,818
And then I'm just like,
"I'm outta here, Missy!"
973
00:49:46,819 --> 00:49:50,943
Responsibilities,
that shit is zombiewalk, man.
974
00:49:50,944 --> 00:49:53,401
I'm like black people.
I'll take freedom.
975
00:49:53,402 --> 00:49:55,984
Preacher, meet the choir.
976
00:49:55,985 --> 00:49:59,234
Wow, Orpheus. Don't you ever
get lonely down here?
977
00:49:59,235 --> 00:50:02,151
You must have once wished
you had a family, right?
978
00:50:02,152 --> 00:50:03,776
Guess what? No.
979
00:50:03,777 --> 00:50:06,068
Fun times
we're all having together.
980
00:50:06,069 --> 00:50:08,318
You know what else would be fun?
Finding curt.
981
00:50:08,319 --> 00:50:10,401
It's the reason
we came down here.
982
00:50:10,402 --> 00:50:13,026
Fine. Whatevs.
983
00:50:13,027 --> 00:50:14,984
I can get you
wherever you wanna go.
984
00:50:14,985 --> 00:50:16,526
But first, you must pass
985
00:50:16,527 --> 00:50:23,651
the trials of the mortals!
986
00:50:23,652 --> 00:50:29,693
Well, I hope you all are ready
for a physical challenge.
987
00:50:29,694 --> 00:50:31,484
Who wants to see how good I am?
988
00:50:31,485 --> 00:50:33,401
- Um...
- Yes, okay.
989
00:50:33,402 --> 00:50:36,234
Moving, moving,
breathing very hard.
990
00:50:36,235 --> 00:50:39,151
Super strong. Super speed.
991
00:50:39,152 --> 00:50:41,526
Watch me fucking leap so high!
992
00:50:41,527 --> 00:50:46,234
Stuck it! I can leap
and fart at the same... oh!
993
00:50:46,235 --> 00:50:47,484
Fuck me!
994
00:50:47,485 --> 00:50:50,859
Oh, it hurts so bad. I'm weak.
995
00:50:50,860 --> 00:50:52,609
You know what,
you guys are good.
996
00:50:52,610 --> 00:50:58,818
Everyone passed, a-pluses,
thank you.
997
00:50:58,819 --> 00:51:02,359
Warriors, I've tested
your mind and body.
998
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:04,443
Now, the hardest test of all.
999
00:51:04,444 --> 00:51:09,026
You must resist that which
tears all mortal men apart.
1000
00:51:09,027 --> 00:51:11,359
Women.
1001
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,151
In a minute, a super hot, sexy bitch
is going to come through that door
1002
00:51:14,152 --> 00:51:17,443
and try to seduce you into
telling her the secret word.
1003
00:51:17,444 --> 00:51:21,109
She will stop at absolutely
nothing to get it out of you.
1004
00:51:21,110 --> 00:51:23,943
You will want to fuck her silly.
Trust me.
1005
00:51:23,944 --> 00:51:26,984
No matter what she does, no
matter how long she fucks you,
1006
00:51:26,985 --> 00:51:29,109
do not give her the secret word.
1007
00:51:29,110 --> 00:51:32,151
I repeat, do not give it to her.
1008
00:51:32,152 --> 00:51:34,902
The secret word is "Jasmine".
1009
00:51:43,694 --> 00:51:47,984
Whoo hoo! Boys, who wants
to take their ball sacks
1010
00:51:47,985 --> 00:51:49,818
and put them in my mouth?
1011
00:51:49,819 --> 00:51:57,485
Jasmine! Jasmine!
Jasmine! Jasmine!
1012
00:51:59,694 --> 00:52:01,859
You all failed
to resist her charms.
1013
00:52:01,860 --> 00:52:07,109
I was watching from a remote
monitor in the other room.
1014
00:52:07,110 --> 00:52:08,901
But you can all move on.
1015
00:52:08,902 --> 00:52:10,401
Back to my Tiki bar!
1016
00:52:10,402 --> 00:52:12,234
- Yes!
- All right!
1017
00:52:12,235 --> 00:52:16,651
The one that I built out of that
tree that sodomized me.
1018
00:52:16,652 --> 00:52:18,693
Didn't we pass?
I don't understand.
1019
00:52:18,694 --> 00:52:23,068
I can't believe I've spent my
entire life looking for this loser.
1020
00:52:23,069 --> 00:52:25,234
I just need to find out
one thing for sure,
1021
00:52:25,235 --> 00:52:27,151
and then I can
put this behind me.
1022
00:52:27,152 --> 00:52:30,609
Wait. What?
1023
00:52:30,610 --> 00:52:33,651
Garçon, these men need
some victory juice
1024
00:52:33,652 --> 00:52:36,109
to pour down our head holes.
1025
00:52:36,110 --> 00:52:37,401
Let's make a toast.
1026
00:52:37,402 --> 00:52:38,818
To rescuing curt!
1027
00:52:38,819 --> 00:52:40,651
No. To all the road dogs
1028
00:52:40,652 --> 00:52:43,776
who had the courage
to leave their pregnant wives.
1029
00:52:43,777 --> 00:52:45,984
Yeah, fuck them ho's.
1030
00:52:45,985 --> 00:52:48,526
Orpheus, I bet you like
all flavor bitches.
1031
00:52:48,527 --> 00:52:53,193
The fuck I do. Chinese, Asian,
Korean, pan-Asian, pan-Korean.
1032
00:52:53,194 --> 00:52:54,443
Goo goo Gai pan.
1033
00:52:54,444 --> 00:52:56,901
- That's a Cantonese dinner dish.
- Yeah.
1034
00:52:56,902 --> 00:52:59,276
You'd fuck
a Cantonese dinner dish?
1035
00:52:59,277 --> 00:53:02,818
- Um... yes.
- Well, then. Cool.
1036
00:53:02,819 --> 00:53:06,568
- But no fat bitches.
- No!
1037
00:53:06,569 --> 00:53:08,193
Deema.
1038
00:53:08,194 --> 00:53:10,193
You're the coolest chick ever.
You're just like me.
1039
00:53:10,194 --> 00:53:12,151
If you didn't have a pussy,
I'd think you were my son.
1040
00:53:12,152 --> 00:53:14,568
And if you didn't have a pussy,
I'd think you were my dad.
1041
00:53:14,569 --> 00:53:16,943
Oh, busted!
1042
00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:21,443
Come on, Orpheus. Get on the real, real.
You never fucked a demon?
1043
00:53:21,444 --> 00:53:25,943
Well, okay, there was just this one.
What was it like?
1044
00:53:25,944 --> 00:53:28,776
So, we're in the bone zone,
I'm really finding my rhythm,
1045
00:53:28,777 --> 00:53:30,734
and suddenly, she drops the,
1046
00:53:30,735 --> 00:53:32,818
"oh, let's move into my cottage
made of tentacles."
1047
00:53:32,819 --> 00:53:35,401
And I was like,
"peace out, man."
1048
00:53:35,402 --> 00:53:39,443
I heard she really plumped up.
Twinkies just jumped into her mouth.
1049
00:53:39,444 --> 00:53:41,609
- What was her name?
- Mm, I barely remember.
1050
00:53:41,610 --> 00:53:46,443
I believe it was, hm...
Durmessa.
1051
00:53:46,444 --> 00:53:48,859
Oh, shit, my face!
1052
00:53:48,860 --> 00:53:51,109
You deadbeat dad.
1053
00:53:51,110 --> 00:53:54,693
All this time I thought you were being
held captive against your will.
1054
00:53:54,694 --> 00:53:58,693
I convinced myself
that is why you never came home.
1055
00:53:58,694 --> 00:54:00,401
Wait, wait, Deema, let's talk.
1056
00:54:00,402 --> 00:54:02,609
You're still gonna take us
to curt, right?
1057
00:54:02,610 --> 00:54:03,776
I don't know where he is!
1058
00:54:03,777 --> 00:54:05,984
Orpheus was supposed
to have all the answers.
1059
00:54:05,985 --> 00:54:09,151
- You lied?
- Of course I lied.
1060
00:54:09,152 --> 00:54:10,609
That's what demons do!
1061
00:54:10,610 --> 00:54:12,401
What a purple bitch!
1062
00:54:12,402 --> 00:54:13,943
How dare you say that to her!
1063
00:54:13,944 --> 00:54:15,859
Someday she will
be my purple wife!
1064
00:54:15,860 --> 00:54:18,318
- I told you she was a liar.
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
1065
00:54:18,319 --> 00:54:20,026
Because you're smarter
than everybody.
1066
00:54:20,027 --> 00:54:22,109
I'm Remy.
Look at my weird haircut.
1067
00:54:22,110 --> 00:54:25,443
I wear a corduroy peacoat
and listen to dubstep music.
1068
00:54:25,444 --> 00:54:27,234
Well, I'm tired of it.
1069
00:54:27,235 --> 00:54:29,776
Women usually do that to me
after I make love to them.
1070
00:54:29,777 --> 00:54:31,193
Augie!
1071
00:54:31,194 --> 00:54:32,401
Fuck him, Remy.
1072
00:54:32,402 --> 00:54:34,234
Let's watch my sweet-ass
flat screen.
1073
00:54:34,235 --> 00:54:38,734
I have the entire
big momma's house trilogy.
1074
00:54:38,735 --> 00:54:46,735
Deema!
1075
00:54:48,152 --> 00:54:50,443
[]You're pathetic, you know that?
1076
00:54:50,444 --> 00:54:52,651
- Yeah.
- Where are you even going?
1077
00:54:52,652 --> 00:54:55,151
Nowhere.
I was just looking for you.
1078
00:54:55,152 --> 00:54:58,151
I still think we can make
a great "teama".
1079
00:54:58,152 --> 00:55:00,734
I don't know why
you still believe in me.
1080
00:55:00,735 --> 00:55:03,776
I come from a lying demon
and a selfish mortal.
1081
00:55:03,777 --> 00:55:05,068
Doesn't change who you are.
1082
00:55:05,069 --> 00:55:06,901
My dad's like a big jerk,
1083
00:55:06,902 --> 00:55:09,276
and my mom lied to him
about being a woman.
1084
00:55:09,277 --> 00:55:13,443
Okay, I don't know
what to do with that, Augie,
1085
00:55:13,444 --> 00:55:16,651
but thanks for giving me
another chance.
1086
00:55:16,652 --> 00:55:22,568
Get in.
1087
00:55:22,569 --> 00:55:24,444
Whoa. Ahh.
1088
00:55:27,527 --> 00:55:30,693
- Twitter alert from the demon union.
- What does it say?
1089
00:55:30,694 --> 00:55:34,734
It's a reminder to tune in and
watch the mortal sacrifice tonight
1090
00:55:34,735 --> 00:55:36,359
at the crossroads.
1091
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,609
That's where
they're gonna sacrifice curt!
1092
00:55:38,610 --> 00:55:43,569
Do you know how to get there? -Yeah.
It's really close to here.
1093
00:55:44,902 --> 00:55:46,526
Big momma,
you fooled them again.
1094
00:55:46,527 --> 00:55:48,109
Would you fuck big momma?
1095
00:55:48,110 --> 00:55:49,568
Yes. Would you?
1096
00:55:49,569 --> 00:55:52,943
Bro-dawg, I've fucked every
woman I've ever met.
1097
00:55:52,944 --> 00:55:55,276
Except for that smoking
angel, Barb.
1098
00:55:55,277 --> 00:55:58,276
- She's the one that got away.
- What happened?
1099
00:55:58,277 --> 00:56:01,234
She just wanted
to be stupid friends.
1100
00:56:01,235 --> 00:56:04,609
I don't need friends anymore. You
know what I mean? I need bros.
1101
00:56:04,610 --> 00:56:06,984
- Yeah.
- You know what I'm saying, man.
1102
00:56:06,985 --> 00:56:09,276
Wake up, see my bros
in the bunk bed above me.
1103
00:56:09,277 --> 00:56:11,693
Play video games,
then we order some ZA.
1104
00:56:11,694 --> 00:56:13,901
We eat it
with all of our bros together,
1105
00:56:13,902 --> 00:56:15,651
high-fiving after each bite.
1106
00:56:15,652 --> 00:56:17,068
Then we all take
a shit together.
1107
00:56:17,069 --> 00:56:18,943
You have a bathroom
with five toilets.
1108
00:56:18,944 --> 00:56:21,359
Everyone making eye contact
while reading Maxim.
1109
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:23,193
And the next day,
we do the same thing.
1110
00:56:23,194 --> 00:56:25,401
It's the way of the bro,
like you said.
1111
00:56:25,402 --> 00:56:29,276
Well, your way of the bro is a little
different than mine. But I hear you.
1112
00:56:29,277 --> 00:56:33,484
Coming up tonight from quick-jet
printer replacement cartridge stadium,
1113
00:56:33,485 --> 00:56:35,943
Shirtz 'n' Skinz
perform their latest single.
1114
00:56:35,944 --> 00:56:41,109
Later, mortal curt Meyers
will be sacrificed live.
1115
00:56:41,110 --> 00:56:42,318
Shit! Curt!
1116
00:56:42,319 --> 00:56:43,359
Wassup?
1117
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:45,818
- We got to go.
- Go where, brah?
1118
00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:48,234
- Orpheus, we got to save curt.
- Huh?
1119
00:56:48,235 --> 00:56:50,901
Come on. That's what you do,
you rescue mortals from hell!
1120
00:56:50,902 --> 00:56:55,193
I ain't that guy anymore.
That's a young man's game.
1121
00:56:55,194 --> 00:56:57,984
What do you say?
One last mission?
1122
00:56:57,985 --> 00:57:01,401
Sorry. -Well, then, I
got to go on my own.
1123
00:57:01,402 --> 00:57:05,193
Why? He's not your friend, man. I'm
your friend. You just said it.
1124
00:57:05,194 --> 00:57:07,943
You wanted to bro out and stare
at each other on toilets.
1125
00:57:07,944 --> 00:57:10,109
I'm sorry, brother.
1126
00:57:10,110 --> 00:57:13,068
I guess I'm gonna go set
five mirrors up in my bathroom
1127
00:57:13,069 --> 00:57:20,318
and stare at myself
as I make the forbidden mud.
1128
00:57:20,319 --> 00:57:22,484
To the crossroads!
1129
00:57:22,485 --> 00:57:26,193
Pretend you're rowing
to Florida!
1130
00:57:26,194 --> 00:57:33,776
Of course his boat has a hole
in it. What a loser.
1131
00:57:33,777 --> 00:57:34,984
Augie!
1132
00:57:34,985 --> 00:57:37,068
Hey, Augie!
1133
00:57:37,069 --> 00:57:38,818
Hey, Deema, what's going on?
1134
00:57:38,819 --> 00:57:41,609
Augie, curt's gonna be
sacrificed! We have to save him!
1135
00:57:41,610 --> 00:57:44,359
We're handling it.
Thank you for your interest.
1136
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:50,443
Um... why don't you guys
get in my boat?
1137
00:57:50,444 --> 00:57:55,651
Look, man, I know I was a dick.
Just get in.
1138
00:57:55,652 --> 00:58:00,234
Fine. You want me to say it?
I suppose you earned it.
1139
00:58:00,235 --> 00:58:01,859
I...
1140
00:58:01,860 --> 00:58:03,109
I love you, man.
1141
00:58:03,110 --> 00:58:04,776
I never realized
how great my friends are
1142
00:58:04,777 --> 00:58:08,234
until I had that stupid thought
that I didn't.
1143
00:58:08,235 --> 00:58:09,776
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
middle part,
1144
00:58:09,777 --> 00:58:11,234
you know,
I haven't made it easy on you,
1145
00:58:11,235 --> 00:58:13,109
took you for granted, big close.
1146
00:58:13,110 --> 00:58:15,401
I'll never make
this mistake again.
1147
00:58:15,402 --> 00:58:17,318
Mm-mm.
1148
00:58:17,319 --> 00:58:21,359
I really need you, dude.
I can't do this on my own.
1149
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:24,568
You need me?
1150
00:58:24,569 --> 00:58:25,569
Yup.
1151
00:58:35,027 --> 00:58:43,027
To the crossroads!
1152
00:58:43,985 --> 00:58:45,651
You're on in one minute!
1153
00:58:45,652 --> 00:58:48,276
Damn! I hate public speaking.
Anyone got a Xanax?
1154
00:58:48,277 --> 00:58:51,526
Hey, hell is ours.
We own this place. Am I right?
1155
00:58:51,527 --> 00:58:54,276
Right. Right. I'm the devil.
1156
00:58:54,277 --> 00:58:57,068
Get out there on that stage
and start struttin' that shit.
1157
00:58:57,069 --> 00:58:59,651
- Yeah!
- Hail, Satan!
1158
00:58:59,652 --> 00:59:02,193
I give you the devil!
1159
00:59:02,194 --> 00:59:04,943
Oh, and, curt, we couldn't
find any other mortal,
1160
00:59:04,944 --> 00:59:07,026
so we have
to sacrifice you. Sorry.
1161
00:59:07,027 --> 00:59:10,151
Whoa, that's bullshit!
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!
1162
00:59:10,152 --> 00:59:11,526
Hurts me more than it...
1163
00:59:11,527 --> 00:59:13,234
Okay, thanks, bye.
1164
00:59:13,235 --> 00:59:16,735
I'm fucked!
1165
00:59:18,944 --> 00:59:21,443
Usa! Usa!
1166
00:59:21,444 --> 00:59:24,901
Usa! Usa! Usa!
1167
00:59:24,902 --> 00:59:26,943
Devil! Devil!
1168
00:59:26,944 --> 00:59:29,818
Switch it up! Oh, come on.
1169
00:59:29,819 --> 00:59:31,818
Devil! Us...
1170
00:59:31,819 --> 00:59:35,651
We are about
to meet our sacrifice!
1171
00:59:35,652 --> 00:59:38,484
He's not just
your average oathbreaker!
1172
00:59:38,485 --> 00:59:40,443
He's a friendship forsaker!
1173
00:59:40,444 --> 00:59:44,193
Ow! Ow! You can't do this to me.
1174
00:59:44,194 --> 00:59:45,443
Why not?
1175
00:59:45,444 --> 00:59:48,818
Because we made a deal,
remember?
1176
00:59:48,819 --> 00:59:50,609
Let me read it.
1177
00:59:50,610 --> 00:59:54,318
Uh-huh. Boilerplate.
Latin. Legalese.
1178
00:59:54,319 --> 00:59:55,693
Read it out loud!
1179
00:59:55,694 --> 00:59:57,943
"I will not sacrifice curt
1180
00:59:57,944 --> 01:00:01,443
if he helps me put on a real special
show to impress Barb the angel."
1181
01:00:01,444 --> 01:00:02,651
A-ha!
1182
01:00:02,652 --> 01:00:04,318
- Bullshit!
- What the hell?
1183
01:00:04,319 --> 01:00:06,484
You're right.
It's all right here.
1184
01:00:06,485 --> 01:00:08,818
Oh! That is beautiful!
1185
01:00:08,819 --> 01:00:10,234
- Curt?
- Yeah?
1186
01:00:10,235 --> 01:00:13,776
When is a contract
not a contract?
1187
01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:17,734
When it's eaten!
1188
01:00:17,735 --> 01:00:25,401
Devil, you are a piece of shit.
1189
01:00:25,402 --> 01:00:29,609
I guess your contract
is now null and void.
1190
01:00:29,610 --> 01:00:32,484
Oh! Oh!
1191
01:00:32,485 --> 01:00:35,359
You all right there, devil?
Sound a little gassy.
1192
01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:38,359
Almost feels like I ate
a bad burrito or something.
1193
01:00:38,360 --> 01:00:40,734
Not good.
1194
01:00:40,735 --> 01:00:44,568
Look at him. -Demons,
continue with the sacrifice.
1195
01:00:44,569 --> 01:00:47,234
Stomach, let me
introduce you to toilet.
1196
01:00:47,235 --> 01:00:49,235
You two should get along great.
1197
01:00:52,735 --> 01:00:56,651
Hey! Ow!
1198
01:00:56,652 --> 01:01:00,652
Get off me, man!
Ow! Guys! Come on! Aw, shit!
1199
01:01:11,277 --> 01:01:12,901
Those demons want blood.
1200
01:01:12,902 --> 01:01:14,943
I know how this song ends.
1201
01:01:14,944 --> 01:01:18,568
No! They're gonna kill him.
How do we get past those guards?
1202
01:01:18,569 --> 01:01:20,109
- Hey!
- I got this one.
1203
01:01:20,110 --> 01:01:27,569
There's nothing hornier
than a demon in hell.
1204
01:02:13,194 --> 01:02:14,401
Curt!
1205
01:02:14,402 --> 01:02:17,568
- Hey! Help me!
- Curt!
1206
01:02:17,569 --> 01:02:20,943
Wait, what? Guys! How the fuck
did you get down here?
1207
01:02:20,944 --> 01:02:22,318
We came down to save you!
1208
01:02:22,319 --> 01:02:24,109
Yo, what up?
1209
01:02:24,110 --> 01:02:26,151
- There's my sweet baby boy!
- Hey!
1210
01:02:26,152 --> 01:02:27,443
Oh, mama missed you!
1211
01:02:27,444 --> 01:02:29,401
- Easy, Augie.
- Who's she?
1212
01:02:29,402 --> 01:02:31,568
The devil's coming back!
1213
01:02:31,569 --> 01:02:33,609
The devil's gonna sacrifice me!
You got to get me out of here!
1214
01:02:33,610 --> 01:02:35,151
All right. Let's go.
1215
01:02:35,152 --> 01:02:41,693
Nobody mention anything
about his diarrhea!
1216
01:02:41,694 --> 01:02:44,651
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Uh...
1217
01:02:44,652 --> 01:02:46,277
- Lake of fire!
- Lake of fire!
1218
01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:54,609
Help! -Remy, no, no, no!
Hold on, Remy!
1219
01:02:54,610 --> 01:02:56,318
Yeah! I'm back!
1220
01:02:56,319 --> 01:02:58,193
Keep the fan on in there.
1221
01:02:58,194 --> 01:03:01,026
Well, well,
what do we have here?
1222
01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:04,651
Um, can we get that bridge back?
1223
01:03:04,652 --> 01:03:07,484
If you answer yes
to any of these questions,
1224
01:03:07,485 --> 01:03:09,693
you may have
an enlarged prostate.
1225
01:03:09,694 --> 01:03:11,943
- Do you have difficulty urinating?
- Yes.
1226
01:03:11,944 --> 01:03:13,443
- Weak stream?
- Yes.
1227
01:03:13,444 --> 01:03:14,818
- Dribbling?
- Yes.
1228
01:03:14,819 --> 01:03:16,984
- Painful urination?
- Yes.
1229
01:03:16,985 --> 01:03:19,443
- Pussy, yellow discharge?
- Yes.
1230
01:03:19,444 --> 01:03:21,318
If you answered yes
to all of these questions,
1231
01:03:21,319 --> 01:03:24,151
- go immediately to the hospital.
- No.
1232
01:03:24,152 --> 01:03:27,151
Okay. In addition to one mortal,
1233
01:03:27,152 --> 01:03:31,693
we are also going to sacrifice
the daughter of Orpheus. Zing!
1234
01:03:31,694 --> 01:03:36,318
My daughter! -Chew on that, Orphy!
Mm-hm. Tough beans.
1235
01:03:36,319 --> 01:03:39,818
Oh, shit. I've got to save her!
1236
01:03:39,819 --> 01:03:46,026
Oh, fuck me. And I'm off.
1237
01:03:46,027 --> 01:03:48,651
- Where the hell is my phone?
- Extra order of dipping sauce.
1238
01:03:48,652 --> 01:03:50,234
- Give me that!
- And I would like a...
1239
01:03:50,235 --> 01:03:54,193
Oh, god! Oh,
but I gave them my credit card!
1240
01:03:54,194 --> 01:03:58,984
I told you to stop calling me.
1241
01:03:58,985 --> 01:04:01,193
I know, I know,
but I thought you'd like to know
1242
01:04:01,194 --> 01:04:04,651
that I found the two mortals
you were looking for.
1243
01:04:04,652 --> 01:04:07,609
No way. You're just saying this
to get me to come down there.
1244
01:04:07,610 --> 01:04:09,568
Oh, no, I promise it's true.
1245
01:04:09,569 --> 01:04:12,068
How do I know? Prove it!
1246
01:04:12,069 --> 01:04:14,859
You know what? I'll take a picture
with my phone and send it to you.
1247
01:04:14,860 --> 01:04:17,860
And there, and sending.
1248
01:04:19,235 --> 01:04:20,776
What?
1249
01:04:20,777 --> 01:04:23,359
- It's a dick pic.
- Sorry, wrong picture.
1250
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,318
Sending.
1251
01:04:25,319 --> 01:04:28,193
Oh, my, devil.
It is the mortals.
1252
01:04:28,194 --> 01:04:30,609
I said I would find them
for you, and I did.
1253
01:04:30,610 --> 01:04:34,193
I'll be right there. -Get ready
for some sweet devil loving!
1254
01:04:34,194 --> 01:04:36,943
Hello?
1255
01:04:36,944 --> 01:04:38,859
Shirtz 'n' Skinz, you're next.
1256
01:04:38,860 --> 01:04:40,694
Last rehearsal!
1257
01:04:46,985 --> 01:04:49,109
She's my angel
1258
01:04:49,110 --> 01:04:51,443
angel - angel
1259
01:04:51,444 --> 01:04:54,776
she is my angel
1260
01:04:54,777 --> 01:04:56,443
she's my angel
1261
01:04:56,444 --> 01:04:59,109
angel - angel
1262
01:04:59,110 --> 01:05:00,359
yeah!
1263
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:01,651
I'm a big fan.
1264
01:05:01,652 --> 01:05:04,359
- That's great, man. Super cool.
- Yes.
1265
01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:06,109
Want me to sign something
for you?
1266
01:05:06,110 --> 01:05:08,943
Will you autograph
my fist with your face?
1267
01:05:08,944 --> 01:05:11,068
- Aw, sure, man.
- Hy-ah!
1268
01:05:11,069 --> 01:05:15,401
God. Oh, shit, god, fuck me.
1269
01:05:15,402 --> 01:05:18,401
I came by to inform you that the
concert has been rescheduled.
1270
01:05:18,402 --> 01:05:21,568
The good news is you're all
still getting paid and laid.
1271
01:05:21,569 --> 01:05:23,109
- Cool.
- Yes.
1272
01:05:23,110 --> 01:05:25,443
Oh, fellas,
please leave your costumes.
1273
01:05:25,444 --> 01:05:28,151
And there is an assortment
of groupies waiting outside
1274
01:05:28,152 --> 01:05:29,651
to suck your dicks.
1275
01:05:29,652 --> 01:05:33,693
- Fuck, yeah, dog!
- Word.
1276
01:05:33,694 --> 01:05:39,443
Okay, demons and damned,
before we sacrifice any mortals,
1277
01:05:39,444 --> 01:05:43,693
I'd like to introduce to you
my favorite boy band,
1278
01:05:43,694 --> 01:05:46,109
Shirtz 'n' Skinz!
1279
01:05:46,110 --> 01:05:47,735
With a "z"!
1280
01:05:50,110 --> 01:05:55,526
That's the way to do it!
1281
01:05:55,527 --> 01:05:59,151
What? That's just Shirtz.
Where the fuck is Skinz?
1282
01:05:59,152 --> 01:06:03,526
Look, I'm sorry. The rest
of the band is stuck in traffic.
1283
01:06:03,527 --> 01:06:06,194
So I'm gonna rock
three times as hard!
1284
01:06:09,735 --> 01:06:12,526
As a young boy I found solace
1285
01:06:12,527 --> 01:06:15,651
in the forest wild and free
1286
01:06:15,652 --> 01:06:19,026
'til that fateful day
youth was ripped away
1287
01:06:19,027 --> 01:06:22,276
'neath the boughs
of an old oak tree
1288
01:06:22,277 --> 01:06:25,609
he wrapped his leaves
around my fragile frame
1289
01:06:25,610 --> 01:06:28,609
and thrust me to the grass
1290
01:06:28,610 --> 01:06:30,109
how my face did Blanche
1291
01:06:30,110 --> 01:06:35,527
as his mighty branch
did penetrate my ass
1292
01:06:36,985 --> 01:06:39,026
now when a tree
comes in the forest
1293
01:06:39,027 --> 01:06:42,318
tell me
do you think it makes a sound?
1294
01:06:42,319 --> 01:06:45,901
No, you'll only hear the wail
of a broken tot
1295
01:06:45,902 --> 01:06:51,276
lying butt up on the ground
1296
01:06:51,277 --> 01:06:53,443
my life and ass both splintered
1297
01:06:53,444 --> 01:06:57,026
and my sphincter torn and loose
1298
01:06:57,027 --> 01:07:00,401
so I mourn for my lost innocence
1299
01:07:00,402 --> 01:07:03,484
and for all that's pure and good
1300
01:07:03,485 --> 01:07:06,651
and I mourn the day
I learned the painful meaning
1301
01:07:06,652 --> 01:07:10,276
of mourning wood
1302
01:07:10,277 --> 01:07:14,026
morning wood
1303
01:07:14,027 --> 01:07:18,944
morning wood
1304
01:07:28,902 --> 01:07:29,984
ha ha!
1305
01:07:29,985 --> 01:07:32,068
What is this shit?
1306
01:07:32,069 --> 01:07:37,484
Surprise, surprise! It is I!
1307
01:07:37,485 --> 01:07:41,484
Orpheus? -You thought I was someone
else, but I'm not someone else.
1308
01:07:41,485 --> 01:07:45,193
I'm Orpheus, the guy
that you didn't think I was
1309
01:07:45,194 --> 01:07:46,693
but I am now.
1310
01:07:46,694 --> 01:07:48,818
Yeah, I get it,
that's called a disguise.
1311
01:07:48,819 --> 01:07:50,484
You put it on,
I thought you were someone else.
1312
01:07:50,485 --> 01:07:51,859
No more explaining.
1313
01:07:51,860 --> 01:07:53,568
I can't believe you made it!
1314
01:07:53,569 --> 01:07:56,026
Yeah, you said you were retiring
from saving mortals.
1315
01:07:56,027 --> 01:07:59,318
I did. But I never said
anything about retiring
1316
01:07:59,319 --> 01:08:01,484
from saving half-mortals.
1317
01:08:01,485 --> 01:08:04,109
Really?
You came back here for me?
1318
01:08:04,110 --> 01:08:07,234
Yes. Look, I know I wasn't
the best father,
1319
01:08:07,235 --> 01:08:09,359
and I wasn't around for you,
1320
01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:11,568
and I really regret that.
1321
01:08:11,569 --> 01:08:14,943
Aw, dad, that's so sweet
of you to say.
1322
01:08:14,944 --> 01:08:18,193
Yes. Mmm. Sweet lips.
1323
01:08:18,194 --> 01:08:19,943
Oh, oh, this isn't that.
1324
01:08:19,944 --> 01:08:23,568
Oh, I may have slightly
misread that situation.
1325
01:08:23,569 --> 01:08:24,984
Yeah.
1326
01:08:24,985 --> 01:08:27,234
We haven't actually
done a DNA test,
1327
01:08:27,235 --> 01:08:30,401
so there's still a possibility that
this isn't totally disgusting.
1328
01:08:30,402 --> 01:08:31,818
No.
1329
01:08:31,819 --> 01:08:33,943
No matter. I love you, daughter.
1330
01:08:33,944 --> 01:08:40,193
Okay, let's get out of hell.
1331
01:08:40,194 --> 01:08:46,401
- Everybody on!
- What? Oh!
1332
01:08:46,402 --> 01:08:54,402
Give me that!
1333
01:08:57,569 --> 01:08:59,651
Ha ha! I win!
1334
01:08:59,652 --> 01:09:02,527
It's time for,
Bam, the sacrifice!
1335
01:09:04,319 --> 01:09:05,735
Crucify 'em!
1336
01:09:15,610 --> 01:09:17,026
Ahh.
1337
01:09:17,027 --> 01:09:20,985
Barb, the one that got away.
1338
01:09:23,777 --> 01:09:28,484
Oh, yeah! Slutty angel.
1339
01:09:28,485 --> 01:09:32,943
She's on the wrong side of 40.
1340
01:09:32,944 --> 01:09:37,943
Mama.
1341
01:09:37,944 --> 01:09:45,069
Wish I was that pole.
1342
01:09:47,069 --> 01:09:49,568
Look, here's your mortals.
1343
01:09:49,569 --> 01:09:52,984
Orpheus, that song
about getting raped by trees,
1344
01:09:52,985 --> 01:09:57,651
it was so beautiful
and personal.
1345
01:09:57,652 --> 01:09:59,651
You're such a sensitive artist.
1346
01:09:59,652 --> 01:10:02,610
Barb, I'm a sensitive
artist, too.
1347
01:10:03,819 --> 01:10:05,984
What the hell?
1348
01:10:05,985 --> 01:10:08,568
Look at the painting
I did of you.
1349
01:10:08,569 --> 01:10:10,859
It's a black-light painting.
1350
01:10:10,860 --> 01:10:12,027
Of me on a dune buggy.
1351
01:10:15,194 --> 01:10:18,776
Aw, geez, Louise!
1352
01:10:18,777 --> 01:10:21,401
Sacrifice! Sacrifice!
1353
01:10:21,402 --> 01:10:24,152
Sacrifice! Sacrifice!
1354
01:10:26,985 --> 01:10:29,109
Orpheus isn't going down easy!
1355
01:10:29,110 --> 01:10:31,234
Here she is.
1356
01:10:31,235 --> 01:10:34,068
We need more ammunition.
1357
01:10:34,069 --> 01:10:35,943
You're not gonna to kill him,
are you?
1358
01:10:35,944 --> 01:10:39,026
- Start folding t-shirts.
- You're scaring...
1359
01:10:39,027 --> 01:10:42,234
Uh-huh.
1360
01:10:42,235 --> 01:10:46,359
Darling, I've traveled
many, many miles to find you.
1361
01:10:46,360 --> 01:10:48,068
- You have?
- Yes.
1362
01:10:48,069 --> 01:10:50,109
I've tried to fight off
my feelings,
1363
01:10:50,110 --> 01:10:52,484
but the head can't tell
the heart where to go.
1364
01:10:52,485 --> 01:10:56,818
What do you say? You, me, and my penis
get hitched and fly off into the sunset!
1365
01:10:56,819 --> 01:10:59,318
- Aww.
- The only thing that matters is,
1366
01:10:59,319 --> 01:11:03,693
Barb, do you want to spend
the rest of our life together?
1367
01:11:03,694 --> 01:11:09,776
They all said that
our love stood not a chance
1368
01:11:09,777 --> 01:11:15,318
that our hearts could never
keep it in their pants
1369
01:11:15,319 --> 01:11:19,484
but when my penis
saw your sweet vagina
1370
01:11:19,485 --> 01:11:21,484
standing across the room
1371
01:11:21,485 --> 01:11:23,401
what is this, Jersey boys?
1372
01:11:23,402 --> 01:11:26,151
My scrotum did a backflip
1373
01:11:26,152 --> 01:11:28,943
and my lonely balls did swoon
1374
01:11:28,944 --> 01:11:32,443
- I hate musicals.
- Mama Mia! Wasn't bad.
1375
01:11:32,444 --> 01:11:38,693
Now it's clear
that this love was meant to be
1376
01:11:38,694 --> 01:11:39,776
my vagina
1377
01:11:39,777 --> 01:11:41,234
my penis
1378
01:11:41,235 --> 01:11:45,193
you and me - stop singing!
1379
01:11:45,194 --> 01:11:47,401
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, no!
1380
01:11:47,402 --> 01:11:50,026
- The demons want blood!
- We got to get out of here now!
1381
01:11:50,027 --> 01:11:52,443
- Hurry up!
- Grab a fistful of white!
1382
01:11:52,444 --> 01:11:53,818
Hold on!
1383
01:11:53,819 --> 01:11:56,734
Load me up!
1384
01:11:56,735 --> 01:11:58,901
- Wait for me!
- Augie!
1385
01:11:58,902 --> 01:12:01,609
- Barb, you got to go back.
- Grab on, tubby!
1386
01:12:01,610 --> 01:12:04,693
- You don't have to call me that!
- Reach with your sausage fingers!
1387
01:12:04,694 --> 01:12:07,526
Come on, honey! -Pretend we're
made out of cookie dough!
1388
01:12:07,527 --> 01:12:10,401
- I got it!
- Go!
1389
01:12:10,402 --> 01:12:14,359
Die, Orpheus.
1390
01:12:14,360 --> 01:12:18,901
Look out!
1391
01:12:18,902 --> 01:12:20,859
Oh, shit! Barb!
1392
01:12:20,860 --> 01:12:23,359
Fucking t-shirts!
1393
01:12:23,360 --> 01:12:25,984
No!
1394
01:12:25,985 --> 01:12:28,443
- We're gaining speed!
- We got to wake her up!
1395
01:12:28,444 --> 01:12:32,109
- Oh, she's out cold!
- Barb, wake up!
1396
01:12:32,110 --> 01:12:33,776
Do something, Remy!
1397
01:12:33,777 --> 01:12:36,776
Slap her harder.
Try the back of your hand.
1398
01:12:36,777 --> 01:12:38,944
Oh, no!
1399
01:12:47,194 --> 01:12:48,444
Oh, fuck me.
1400
01:13:00,527 --> 01:13:02,276
What's that sound?
1401
01:13:02,277 --> 01:13:05,443
It's a sex offender alert.
1402
01:13:05,444 --> 01:13:09,152
- Cool app.
- Shh, quiet!
1403
01:13:18,110 --> 01:13:21,068
Run!
1404
01:13:21,069 --> 01:13:23,609
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
1405
01:13:23,610 --> 01:13:26,359
Holy shit!
These trees are alive, man!
1406
01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:27,943
Careful down here.
1407
01:13:27,944 --> 01:13:30,318
There are trees who think "no"
means "yes".
1408
01:13:30,319 --> 01:13:37,068
- Just don't stop running!
- Wait, where's Barb?
1409
01:13:37,069 --> 01:13:39,401
Help!
1410
01:13:39,402 --> 01:13:40,901
Help!
1411
01:13:40,902 --> 01:13:43,693
- I have to go back for Barb!
- Dad, no!
1412
01:13:43,694 --> 01:13:46,359
We'll catch up to you!
1413
01:13:46,360 --> 01:13:49,193
There! Head for the cave!
1414
01:13:49,194 --> 01:13:51,568
I'm coming, Barb! Hold on!
1415
01:13:51,569 --> 01:13:53,859
Were you trying
to hit her, boss?
1416
01:13:53,860 --> 01:13:57,359
I mean, you shot her
right between the eyes.
1417
01:13:57,360 --> 01:14:01,068
She's probably fine.
She's an angel.
1418
01:14:01,069 --> 01:14:04,193
It was a good shot
if you meant to hit her.
1419
01:14:04,194 --> 01:14:06,943
Knock it off! Focus!
1420
01:14:06,944 --> 01:14:11,693
What's that smell?
1421
01:14:11,694 --> 01:14:15,776
True heroes. To have laid
such a costly sacrifice
1422
01:14:15,777 --> 01:14:18,151
upon the altar of freedom.
1423
01:14:18,152 --> 01:14:19,526
Yeah.
1424
01:14:19,527 --> 01:14:23,151
But that's what you get
for chasing pussy.
1425
01:14:23,152 --> 01:14:24,943
Ow! Stitching up your wing
1426
01:14:24,944 --> 01:14:27,068
this is the stitching up
your wing song
1427
01:14:27,069 --> 01:14:29,484
Barb! Look out!
Don't you touch her!
1428
01:14:29,485 --> 01:14:32,068
What? No! I'm helping her!
1429
01:14:32,069 --> 01:14:34,776
Oh, really?
1430
01:14:34,777 --> 01:14:38,109
- Orpheus?
- Tree?
1431
01:14:38,110 --> 01:14:46,110
You look familiar.
1432
01:14:47,902 --> 01:14:51,068
Orpheus? Orpheus?
1433
01:14:51,069 --> 01:14:53,276
Yeah, it's me, you diddler.
1434
01:14:53,277 --> 01:14:55,526
I always hoped
I'd run into you someday.
1435
01:14:55,527 --> 01:14:57,026
I bet you did.
1436
01:14:57,027 --> 01:14:59,359
No, no, it's not like that.
1437
01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:02,068
I wanted to apologize
for what I did to you.
1438
01:15:02,069 --> 01:15:04,526
"I'm sorry" is just not
going to cut it.
1439
01:15:04,527 --> 01:15:07,151
- Did you ever get my gift basket?
- No.
1440
01:15:07,152 --> 01:15:09,401
You're kidding?
I tracked the package.
1441
01:15:09,402 --> 01:15:11,526
- Mm-hm.
- I understand your anger,
1442
01:15:11,527 --> 01:15:14,026
but I've done a lot of work
in therapy to get better.
1443
01:15:14,027 --> 01:15:17,776
Is there anything
I can do to make it right?
1444
01:15:17,777 --> 01:15:21,901
When I find Orpheus, I'm gonna
mount his balls on a stick.
1445
01:15:21,902 --> 01:15:25,985
There is one thing.
1446
01:15:28,402 --> 01:15:32,193
Hey, tree!
Have you seen an angel?
1447
01:15:32,194 --> 01:15:36,609
- I did, yes.
- Well, where is she?
1448
01:15:36,610 --> 01:15:38,234
Um...
1449
01:15:38,235 --> 01:15:42,318
She went that way.
1450
01:15:42,319 --> 01:15:46,068
Oh, okay. Well, good to see you.
1451
01:15:46,069 --> 01:15:47,151
Keep growing.
1452
01:15:47,152 --> 01:15:49,776
Yeah, keep growing, tree!
1453
01:15:49,777 --> 01:15:51,526
What do you want me
to do to him?
1454
01:15:51,527 --> 01:15:54,693
Shed your acorns
across his back.
1455
01:15:54,694 --> 01:15:59,984
My psychologist is going
to kill me, but I'll do it.
1456
01:15:59,985 --> 01:16:03,943
Let us escape to a secret place
where I can motorboat those wings.
1457
01:16:03,944 --> 01:16:07,527
You're so dirty.
1458
01:16:09,485 --> 01:16:11,443
Hey, does anybody want to stop
1459
01:16:11,444 --> 01:16:13,444
for some red bull
and crystal meth smoothies?
1460
01:16:16,735 --> 01:16:18,943
Oh, shit! Hold on!
1461
01:16:18,944 --> 01:16:21,401
Like you didn't do last time!
1462
01:16:21,402 --> 01:16:22,943
Quit squirming!
1463
01:16:22,944 --> 01:16:30,735
Grab on! Pull! No!
1464
01:16:36,860 --> 01:16:39,484
- Look, boss! Over there!
- Huh?
1465
01:16:39,485 --> 01:16:42,359
- There's movement!
- Let's go!
1466
01:16:42,360 --> 01:16:44,068
What are you going to do to me?
1467
01:16:44,069 --> 01:16:47,401
What do they want from me?
1468
01:16:47,402 --> 01:16:49,901
No! No! No, no, no!
1469
01:16:49,902 --> 01:16:52,984
I've got a pig in a blanket.
1470
01:16:52,985 --> 01:16:55,818
Uh, that tree
is putting on lipstick.
1471
01:16:55,819 --> 01:17:00,526
Curt! Deema! Remy!
1472
01:17:00,527 --> 01:17:02,026
Are you fucking serious?
1473
01:17:02,027 --> 01:17:04,068
I hope that's for marshmallows.
1474
01:17:04,069 --> 01:17:05,984
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
1475
01:17:05,985 --> 01:17:12,943
Hold on!
1476
01:17:12,944 --> 01:17:15,318
Yes!
1477
01:17:15,319 --> 01:17:19,318
Bull's-eye!
1478
01:17:19,319 --> 01:17:21,109
What the fuck?
1479
01:17:21,110 --> 01:17:28,444
This is my house.
You gonna screw with me?
1480
01:17:38,402 --> 01:17:41,901
- You had a mint the whole time?
- What?
1481
01:17:41,902 --> 01:17:44,068
- A mint!
- I didn't know it was there!
1482
01:17:44,069 --> 01:17:46,693
It must have been stuck in
the lining of my shirt, I swear!
1483
01:17:46,694 --> 01:17:49,901
Who gives a shit
about a stupid mint?
1484
01:17:49,902 --> 01:17:51,901
- A mint?
- Huh?
1485
01:17:51,902 --> 01:17:53,609
Don't let him eat that mint!
1486
01:17:53,610 --> 01:17:57,609
Oh, shit! That's it, Remy!
Eat that mint!
1487
01:17:57,610 --> 01:17:59,859
It's too late.
I don't want your mint now.
1488
01:17:59,860 --> 01:18:02,484
No, no! It's not about that!
It'll reverse the curse.
1489
01:18:02,485 --> 01:18:06,943
It'll get us out!
Quick, man, hurry up!
1490
01:18:06,944 --> 01:18:10,276
- Get me that mint!
- Come on!
1491
01:18:10,277 --> 01:18:15,026
- Put the whole thing in your mouth.
- Can't reach!
1492
01:18:15,027 --> 01:18:17,401
- Eat it!
- Get your lips around that mint!
1493
01:18:17,402 --> 01:18:19,318
I've tried my whole life!
1494
01:18:19,319 --> 01:18:21,609
Gulp it down! -Take all
of it down your throat!
1495
01:18:21,610 --> 01:18:24,651
- Make this sound when you do it...
- It helps!
1496
01:18:24,652 --> 01:18:28,818
Tickle your balls!
1497
01:18:28,819 --> 01:18:30,234
Demon, quick!
1498
01:18:30,235 --> 01:18:32,152
- Remy, eat it! Eat it!
- Hurry up!
1499
01:18:40,069 --> 01:18:42,901
Remy! Yeah, you did it, man!
1500
01:18:42,902 --> 01:18:46,609
Yeah! I can touch my dick
with my tongue!
1501
01:18:46,610 --> 01:18:49,484
- Hey, Remy, look!
- Huh?
1502
01:18:49,485 --> 01:18:51,401
- Holy shit.
- What?
1503
01:18:51,402 --> 01:18:54,984
Uh, that portal's
kind of scaring me, boss!
1504
01:18:54,985 --> 01:18:58,651
Yeah, I'm thinking I just go back
up top and then call it a day.
1505
01:18:58,652 --> 01:19:00,151
No! No!
1506
01:19:00,152 --> 01:19:03,193
Whoa! Whoa!
1507
01:19:03,194 --> 01:19:04,568
Augie! Hold on!
1508
01:19:04,569 --> 01:19:08,651
- Grab him!
- Don't let go!
1509
01:19:08,652 --> 01:19:10,068
No, no!
1510
01:19:10,069 --> 01:19:12,151
Remy!
1511
01:19:12,152 --> 01:19:15,443
- Wait, tell me where Barb is!
- Whoa!
1512
01:19:15,444 --> 01:19:21,818
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Later, devil!
1513
01:19:21,819 --> 01:19:23,985
Wait, wait! No, no!
1514
01:19:30,027 --> 01:19:32,651
- Hello, devil.
- Huh?
1515
01:19:32,652 --> 01:19:36,234
Care for some wine?
1516
01:19:36,235 --> 01:19:37,943
No, thanks. I'm okay.
1517
01:19:37,944 --> 01:19:39,651
It's an earthy Bordeaux,
1518
01:19:39,652 --> 01:19:46,402
and it pairs wonderfully
with I'm going to rape you.
1519
01:19:48,652 --> 01:19:50,776
Look, over there!
1520
01:19:50,777 --> 01:19:53,818
It appears the better man
has won!
1521
01:19:53,819 --> 01:19:57,193
Don't worry, you'll still
get a chance to be with her.
1522
01:19:57,218 --> 01:19:58,318
I will?
1523
01:19:58,319 --> 01:20:01,068
I'm going to go to walgreens
and buy a shitty devil mask
1524
01:20:01,069 --> 01:20:02,776
and fuck her silly
while I wear it.
1525
01:20:02,777 --> 01:20:05,484
Oh, don't! Oh, come on!
1526
01:20:05,485 --> 01:20:07,955
Sorry, devil! I'm
a pretty package
1527
01:20:07,980 --> 01:20:09,884
with an ugly gift inside.
1528
01:20:18,277 --> 01:20:21,693
Hail Satan.
1529
01:20:21,694 --> 01:20:24,318
Hail Satan.
1530
01:20:24,319 --> 01:20:26,319
Hail Satan.
1531
01:20:32,735 --> 01:20:37,526
Holy shit! We're back!
I love this place!
1532
01:20:37,527 --> 01:20:41,359
Oh, my god! We did it!
1533
01:20:41,360 --> 01:20:43,443
God, I miss the smell
of cotton candy!
1534
01:20:43,444 --> 01:20:46,526
Augie, you have a syringe
stuck to your face.
1535
01:20:46,527 --> 01:20:49,901
This place hasn't changed a bit.
1536
01:20:49,902 --> 01:20:52,652
- Definitely an opiate.
- Wha...?!
1537
01:20:54,319 --> 01:20:57,943
Where have you guys been? Cleb!
1538
01:20:57,944 --> 01:20:59,651
Man, I'm happy to see you!
1539
01:20:59,652 --> 01:21:02,401
What's going on here?
Whose treasure is this?
1540
01:21:02,402 --> 01:21:07,026
This book is amazing.
The devil is the new Jesus.
1541
01:21:07,027 --> 01:21:11,109
Who knew? Devil tears
sell better than dippin' dots.
1542
01:21:11,110 --> 01:21:13,359
Remy, your idea worked!
1543
01:21:13,360 --> 01:21:15,818
Yes! Oh, my god, yes!
1544
01:21:15,819 --> 01:21:22,027
We did it! What are we gonna
do with all this money?
1545
01:22:40,319 --> 01:22:43,651
Let me just push this button to get
this escalator started up again.
1546
01:22:43,652 --> 01:22:46,234
Thank you.
1547
01:22:46,235 --> 01:22:49,859
Oh, yeah, that's right,
there's no button!
1548
01:22:49,860 --> 01:22:52,193
- Hey, start walking.
- So just walk up to the top?
1549
01:22:52,194 --> 01:22:54,734
Yeah! There's no motor
gonna help you out here.
1550
01:22:54,735 --> 01:22:56,984
You're just going to walk up
that escalator.
1551
01:22:56,985 --> 01:22:59,609
Is it something like it's a million
miles long, the escalator, or?
1552
01:22:59,610 --> 01:23:01,818
A million miles long?
That's pretty good.
1553
01:23:01,819 --> 01:23:04,276
That would be unpleasant. -Yeah,
that'd be real unpleasant.
1554
01:23:04,277 --> 01:23:06,734
I only made it one story tall.
1555
01:23:06,735 --> 01:23:08,901
Um.... But you're gonna walk it.
1556
01:23:08,902 --> 01:23:11,943
Yeah!
You're walking that whole story.
1557
01:23:11,944 --> 01:23:14,193
- Understood.
- All 27 steps.
1558
01:23:14,194 --> 01:23:16,484
- All right, here I go.
- How do you like that, huh?
1559
01:23:16,485 --> 01:23:18,318
Not the best, not the best.
1560
01:23:18,319 --> 01:23:20,359
I would have preferred if the
escalator had been functioning.
1561
01:23:20,360 --> 01:23:28,360
Welcome to hell!
1562
01:23:28,860 --> 01:23:30,693
- Hello again.
- Sit down.
1563
01:23:30,694 --> 01:23:32,984
All right. Well, just here
in the booster seat?
1564
01:23:32,985 --> 01:23:34,734
Yeah, like a baby.
1565
01:23:34,735 --> 01:23:36,734
You're being punished
in your booster seat.
1566
01:23:36,735 --> 01:23:38,359
It's uncomfortable,
I guess, a little bit.
1567
01:23:38,360 --> 01:23:40,609
Just sit there
like you're a crying baby.
1568
01:23:40,610 --> 01:23:42,151
Did you need me to cry?
1569
01:23:42,152 --> 01:23:44,484
Oh, there's the end-of-the-year
evaluations and...
1570
01:23:44,485 --> 01:23:45,776
Gotcha, okay.
1571
01:23:45,777 --> 01:23:48,443
Oh, booster seat!
1572
01:23:48,444 --> 01:23:50,401
Why? I'm a man!
1573
01:23:50,402 --> 01:23:51,818
That's good.
Throw in a juice box.
1574
01:23:51,819 --> 01:23:54,234
- Say something about a juice...
- Oh, I wish I had a juice box!
1575
01:23:54,235 --> 01:23:57,526
You're not getting a juice box! No.
Oh, please, just the one.
1576
01:23:57,527 --> 01:23:58,527
Welcome to hell.
119157
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