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Meredith: "Battle." "Fight."
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00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:10,330
"Win." "Lose."
3
00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:12,000
These are the words we use
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00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,580
when someone is diagnosed
with an illness or a disease.
5
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:20,170
Catherine:
♪ No wind, no rain ♪
6
00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:24,040
♪ Or winter's cold ♪
7
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,960
♪ Can stop me, baby ♪
8
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,580
♪ Oh, baby ♪
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00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:32,790
♪ If you're my goal ♪
10
00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:36,920
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
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00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,120
We use militarized language
12
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,880
that implies
it's a fair fight.
13
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:43,080
[ Beeping ]
14
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,920
♪♪
15
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,290
All:
God grant me the serenity
16
00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:52,290
to accept the things
I cannot change,
17
00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:55,420
the courage to change
the things I can,
18
00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:57,880
and the wisdom
to know the difference.
19
00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,620
But when it comes
to life and death,
20
00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:02,080
what does winning
really look like?
21
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:03,960
Is a person a loser for dying
22
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,080
when the outcome isn't really
in their control...
23
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,120
[ Buzzer ]
Oh. Damn it.
24
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:09,750
If any patients
see you like that,
25
00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:11,580
they might go
to another hospital.
26
00:01:11,580 --> 00:01:12,920
Always gets me
in the mood.
27
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,080
Plus, you know, I'm seeing
what daylight feels like
28
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,080
while I still can.
29
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,290
How's Catherine?
30
00:01:16,290 --> 00:01:18,000
She's ready.
31
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:18,960
And you?
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
32
00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:22,620
Ah.
33
00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:24,960
Funny bone.
Not as easy as it looks.
34
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,420
Okay, then.
I have real patients,
35
00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:31,920
so, you know,
good luck with...all this.
36
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,790
[ Sighs ]
[ Buzzer ]
37
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:37,080
I'm messing with you.
38
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,000
You're gonna do great.
You and Amelia.
39
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,960
You're ready.
[ Exhales sharply ]
40
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,330
Charley horse.
41
00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:48,960
♪♪
42
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,380
[ Indistinct talking over P.A. ]
43
00:01:50,380 --> 00:01:52,790
There he is.
Thought you might need this.
44
00:01:52,790 --> 00:01:55,000
Oh. No, thanks.
But I'm -- I'm good.
45
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,210
I'm running late
for Catherine's scans.
46
00:01:57,210 --> 00:01:59,120
Okay, well, I have cleared
all my surgeries today
47
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,170
and shored up child care,
48
00:02:00,170 --> 00:02:01,460
so I'm here for you,
whatever you need,
49
00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:03,290
whenever you need it.
Like I said, I'm good.
50
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:06,210
Okay, Richard,
it's gonna be a very long day.
51
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:10,040
Look, Meredith,
I have plenty of doctors
52
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,620
and plenty of friends
looking out for me.
53
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:14,460
You know who doesn't?
Your father.
54
00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:17,620
Molly had to get back to Bahrain
with her kids.
55
00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:19,290
He's all alone.
56
00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:21,290
And I will make time
to see Thatcher this week,
57
00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:23,290
but today is all
about you and Catherine.
58
00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:24,710
Meredith, Thatcher may not
have a week.
59
00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:28,710
Now, I know it's never been easy
between you two,
60
00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:30,670
but the time to change that
is running out.
61
00:02:30,670 --> 00:02:32,330
♪♪
62
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:34,080
Excuse me.
63
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:40,080
♪♪
64
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,330
[ Door opens ]
65
00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:50,080
Richard: Oh, I'm sorry
I missed your scan.
66
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,330
Oh, please.
I went in. I came out.
67
00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:54,920
Same as the first
million times.
68
00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,670
Well, I could have
been there for you.
69
00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:58,250
You had a good excuse.
70
00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:01,170
There's my girl!
71
00:03:01,170 --> 00:03:04,380
[ Chuckles ]
There's my girl!
72
00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:06,000
Let me get her for you.
Relax.
73
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,080
[ Giggles ]
74
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,420
Do you want to go
to Grandma?
75
00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:10,920
Say, "Hi, Grandma."
"Hi, Grandma."
76
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,210
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
77
00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:14,920
Did Koracick re-check
the CT angio?
78
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:17,210
Yes,
and please stop.
79
00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:19,210
I appreciate both of you
wanting to be a part of this,
80
00:03:19,210 --> 00:03:21,540
but I have
a crackerjack neuro team.
81
00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:24,040
I need you to be my husband
and my son today.
82
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,420
[ Knock on door ]
Koracick: And we need you to be our patient.
83
00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:29,580
Hmm, Thomas, you're getting
ready to cut open my spine.
84
00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:31,540
I will be
whatever I want.
85
00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,290
Oh. Music to my ears.
86
00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:35,790
Now, we will go in
posteriorly
87
00:03:35,790 --> 00:03:36,790
with our stealth system
88
00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:39,290
and our newly pilfered
ORBEYE scope.
89
00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:42,960
The plan is to go in
and remove it en bloc.
90
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,120
And you really think
that posteriorly
91
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,710
is the way to go?
92
00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:47,460
Oh, it is fun to have so many
surgeons in one family.
93
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:48,790
Remind me, Avery --
94
00:03:48,790 --> 00:03:51,460
when did you become
double board certified in neuro?
95
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:52,750
That's really how you talk
to your patient's family?
96
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:53,830
It is, actually.
97
00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:58,580
We need to
go in posteriorly
98
00:03:58,580 --> 00:04:00,580
to avoid the carotid
and the jugular,
99
00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:03,620
and to avoid having to weave
through the brachial plexus.
100
00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:05,580
Koracick: Look, I know how hard
it is to be on the bench,
101
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:07,420
but we are the A-Team.
And we don't lose.
102
00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:10,170
Just ask Shepherd's tumor.
Oh, wait, you can't.
103
00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:12,250
Because I removed it.
Flawlessly.
104
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:14,960
Okay,
any last questions?
105
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,330
Um...it looks like
you've got this.
106
00:04:17,330 --> 00:04:19,080
We do.
107
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,790
Mm-hmm.
[ Smooches ]
108
00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,170
I'm good.
109
00:04:23,170 --> 00:04:26,420
But, you know, I-I um...
110
00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:30,790
I think I'd like to
just take a little walk
111
00:04:30,790 --> 00:04:32,290
before we get started.
112
00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:34,790
I'd be happy to --
Oh, no, honey.
113
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:37,620
I want to go alone.
114
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,290
Koracick: Okay, then,
but no guarantees
115
00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:40,620
I won't watch you
walk away.
116
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:42,000
You always do.
117
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,330
[ Scoffs ]
118
00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:53,620
♪♪
119
00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:55,790
[ Exhales sharply ]
120
00:04:55,790 --> 00:05:01,330
♪♪
121
00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:06,790
♪♪
122
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,960
[ Exhales sharply ]
123
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:09,960
[ Doorbell rings ]
124
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:17,540
♪♪
125
00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:19,330
Hi. I'm --
126
00:05:19,330 --> 00:05:20,710
Meredith?
127
00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:22,000
Yeah.
128
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,250
I'm sorry.
129
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,330
You look just like
your picture.
130
00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:27,500
You're the surgeon,
right?
131
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,040
Yeah.
132
00:05:31,670 --> 00:05:33,750
Uh, do you
want to come in?
133
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,250
That's a loaded
question.
134
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:37,170
[ Laughs ]
135
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,250
I'm not sure
if he's awake.
136
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,880
He sleeps more and more
these days
137
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,040
as you can imagine.
138
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,250
Uh, can I get
you something?
139
00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:54,500
Water? Gin, maybe?
140
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:56,790
[ Both chuckle ]
141
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,420
All right.
142
00:05:59,420 --> 00:06:02,710
Thatcher?
You have a visitor.
143
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:11,290
♪♪
144
00:06:11,290 --> 00:06:13,120
Meredith!
145
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:14,960
♪♪
146
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,460
Hi...
147
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,460
♪♪
148
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:19,880
Hi.
149
00:06:25,290 --> 00:06:26,880
He's not on any pain meds.
Clean and sober.
150
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,210
His wishes.
151
00:06:28,210 --> 00:06:30,210
So, just the oxygen,
if he needs it.
152
00:06:30,210 --> 00:06:31,210
But you know
how that works.
153
00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:33,210
I do.
154
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,880
Well,
I'll leave you to it.
155
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,290
My cellphone number
is on the fridge.
156
00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:37,920
If you need anything,
give me a call.
157
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,750
[ Door opens ]
158
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:44,960
[ Door closes ]
159
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:53,250
I probably
can't stay very long.
160
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:55,750
I just...
161
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:01,000
There's so much to say,
I-I...
162
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,120
I don't know what to say.
163
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:06,920
I didn't come here
to say anything
164
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,920
or to hear you
say anything to me, so...
165
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,580
we can just sit,
if that's okay.
166
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:12,420
Okay.
167
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:44,830
♪♪
168
00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:45,830
[ Door opens ]
169
00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:47,670
Jackson: Mom.
170
00:07:47,670 --> 00:07:49,830
I was looking for you.
171
00:07:49,830 --> 00:07:54,120
♪♪
172
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,880
You know I give Amelia
and Koracick a hard time,
173
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,460
but they're the best.
174
00:07:57,460 --> 00:08:00,330
I was thinking about
my first surgery.
175
00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:03,500
The very first time
I held a scalpel in my hand.
176
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,830
It was a simple lipoma,
but I was terrified.
177
00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:08,880
Hmm.
178
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,380
I expected to feel
so powerful, invincible.
179
00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:13,000
But the second
that scrub nurse
180
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,380
put that 10 blade
in my hand,
181
00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:16,670
I went ice cold.
182
00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:19,330
Okay, so then
what did you do?
183
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:22,330
Diana Ross.
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough."
184
00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:24,500
The first time
I heard that song,
185
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,670
it just filled me with joy
and such calm...
186
00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:29,080
so I just sang it
187
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,500
over and over and over
in my head, in that O.R.,
188
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:35,380
until that same sense of calm
and joy washed over me.
189
00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:37,210
And it's been
my secret weapon
190
00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:39,000
for everything
that's ever scared me --
191
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,330
my first surgery.
192
00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:42,750
Labor with you,
it was on an endless loop.
193
00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,120
[ Both chuckle ]
194
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:48,250
Every PET scan,
every MRI.
195
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,710
♪♪
196
00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:52,040
I remember you singing that song
in the kitchen
197
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,880
when I was doing
my homework.
198
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,710
You told me
it was old people music. [ Laughs ]
199
00:08:55,710 --> 00:08:57,250
[ Laughs ]
You wanted Michael Jackson.
200
00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:59,580
I love me some Michael.
Ooh.
201
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,620
I had to pry that
red leather jacket off of you
202
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:02,790
to get you to go to bed
at night.
203
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:05,210
Ah, that's true.
204
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,250
Oh.
205
00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:08,880
I guess I used to do
the same thing.
206
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,880
My first surgery,
I sang a song in my head.
207
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,420
I mean, it calmed me, you know?
I know.
208
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,040
I watched you.
209
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,210
My first --
How did you watch?
210
00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:21,040
Child, please.
I am Catherine Fox.
211
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,250
Do you think
there's a world
212
00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:23,670
where I wouldn't
sneak into the gallery
213
00:09:23,670 --> 00:09:25,460
of my baby's
first surgery?
214
00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:27,420
Oh, you were a sight
to see...
215
00:09:27,420 --> 00:09:29,670
Mm.
216
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:32,750
I bet Harriet does
the same thing someday.
217
00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:36,580
Well, I'll be sneaking up
into the gallery with you, then.
218
00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:39,330
Deal.
219
00:09:39,330 --> 00:09:42,290
That's a deal.
220
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:45,080
Now, can we please get you
to your room?
221
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,460
Not yet.
222
00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:48,460
Mom...
223
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:50,580
I left the foundation
in your name,
224
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:52,420
just in case
anything happens to me.
225
00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:54,420
Cecilia runs
the day-to-day operations,
226
00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:56,250
Charlie keeps
the books humming,
227
00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:59,250
but they'll need a leader,
a North Star.
228
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,000
And in the event that I'm left
totally paralyzed --
229
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,580
Mom, even if
you can't operate,
230
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:03,580
you're still gonna run
the foundation, okay?
231
00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:05,120
You'll teach.
232
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,120
You're Catherine Fox.
What are you gonna do?
233
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,040
You're gonna be all up
in my business
234
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,620
and everybody else's.
235
00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:10,620
We both know you're gonna
find a way to do that.
236
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:13,040
Keep this.
Turn the page.
237
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,210
I've already --
Turn the page.
238
00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:17,120
♪♪
239
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,460
You planned
your own party?
240
00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:20,120
[ Laughs ]
Mom.
241
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,670
If I get out of this alive,
the fun we're gonna have --
242
00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:25,040
and don't you even think about
scrimping on those egg rolls.
243
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,670
You know
they're my favorite.
244
00:10:26,670 --> 00:10:30,290
You really
planned everything.
245
00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:33,040
I always do.
246
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,290
All right, then.
247
00:10:34,290 --> 00:10:37,460
Shall we?
248
00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:40,040
[ Exhales deeply ]
249
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,040
[ Smooches ]
250
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,290
♪♪
251
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:47,330
Thatcher:
Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe.
252
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:50,250
Phillip put these everywhere
for me.
253
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,380
He said it's supposed to
be soothing.
254
00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,000
Truth be told,
255
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,830
it just makes me
miss it more.
256
00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:57,670
[ Chuckles ]
257
00:10:57,670 --> 00:11:00,040
A few years back,
a student told me about
258
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,710
a semester he took abroad
building schools.
259
00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:08,170
Lexie was gone,
and I thought I could either
260
00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:09,500
drown my grief
in a bottle of Scotch
261
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,670
or do something.
So I did something.
262
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,830
[ Chuckles ]
263
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:17,170
In Zimbabwe.
264
00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:21,750
The sunsets, Meredith...
and the quiet.
265
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:24,670
The people that I met,
they have this passion
266
00:11:24,670 --> 00:11:28,710
for life, loving,
learning...
267
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,880
And then you got sick.
268
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,250
[ Sighs ] I thought
I'd just come home,
269
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:38,620
do whatever treatment
I needed to do,
270
00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:41,880
and then go back, but...
It was good. Coming home.
271
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:46,250
It gave me a chance to --
It was the right thing to do.
272
00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:52,380
You went and got
a whole new life.
273
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,080
I did.
[ Sighs ]
274
00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,540
I'm glad for you.
275
00:11:57,540 --> 00:12:00,380
I'm glad you saw sunsets
and built schools
276
00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:02,960
for people who needed them
and you stayed sober.
277
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,580
You went and got
a whole new life.
278
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:09,040
Halfway across the world
this time.
279
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,290
But you didn't
give a damn
280
00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:11,580
about the people
you left behind.
281
00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:17,620
Say it again.
282
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:20,170
We make an incision posteriorly
from C3 to T4,
283
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,580
and then use
the stealth probe
284
00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:23,170
to mark the coordinates
of the tumor.
285
00:12:23,170 --> 00:12:25,000
And then do
partial laminectomies
286
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,790
to access the tumor
and remove it en bloc.
287
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:28,960
Perfect. Brilliant.
288
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,420
We are incredible.
289
00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:31,790
Someone should really do
a study on us.
290
00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:34,170
[ Chuckles,
exhales sharply ]
291
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,790
Okay, say it.
292
00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:38,170
What? Wh--
Oh. No.
293
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:40,580
Ha ha! I'm good.
294
00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:43,420
Good, good, good, good.
Big Gun.
295
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:44,920
Ready to Big Gun the crap
out of this tumor.
296
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,080
[ Chuckles nervously ]
297
00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:49,120
Damn it.
298
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,000
Even my arrogance is off.
Right?
299
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,290
Right.
300
00:12:53,290 --> 00:12:55,290
W-What if we try, uh,
your thing?
301
00:12:55,290 --> 00:12:57,460
You know, the -- the word-vomit
and the feelings?
302
00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:59,540
That seems to work.
For you.
303
00:12:59,540 --> 00:13:01,040
Okay.
304
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,620
You -- you first.
305
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,710
This is the largest tumor
I've ever seen
306
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,120
on the biggest legend
I've ever known,
307
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,120
and if I screw this up,
I'm gonna have to live out
308
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,120
the rest of my
ill-fated surgical career
309
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,290
fixing idiot teenagers
310
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:13,500
who get hurt cow-tipping
in Lawrence, Kansas,
311
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:14,710
'cause I can't look
Richard in the eye
312
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,170
knowing I gorked
his legend wife.
313
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,210
That is specific.
314
00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:20,000
Well...
I'm saying,
315
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,170
how do you get hurt
cow-tipping? It's a thing.
316
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:24,880
Just...You. Go.
317
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,290
Uh, Catherine Fox is an icon,
and a magician,
318
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:28,880
and a giant among men --
319
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,880
and not just
for the reasons you think.
320
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,460
She's saved more penises
in her O.R.
321
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:33,920
than any surgeon
on the planet.
322
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:35,330
And all I keep imagining
323
00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:36,670
are the dozens of men
with zero-functioning penises,
324
00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:38,040
doomed to live out
their sexless lives
325
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,920
if I botch this surgery.
326
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,330
That's what
you're worried about?
327
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:43,710
Men and their junk?
328
00:13:43,710 --> 00:13:46,080
That,
and if I lose her...
329
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,920
I've lost enough.
330
00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:52,750
So let's keep her alive.
331
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:55,380
♪♪
332
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:56,540
Let's keep her alive.
333
00:13:56,540 --> 00:14:03,170
♪♪
334
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:05,500
[ Inhales sharply ]
335
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:10,920
♪♪
336
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,880
I told them I didn't need
a personal escort
337
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,920
to my own surgery.
338
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,290
Well,
that's just making sure
339
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,120
you don't make a break
for it.
340
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,120
Thomas,
make sure that I wake up
341
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,120
with good motor
and nerve function.
342
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,080
And don't forget
to get clean margins.
343
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,080
I wouldn't dream of it.
344
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,540
And would
you tell my husband
345
00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,710
he does not have to sit up
in that gallery all day?
346
00:14:30,710 --> 00:14:31,880
"For better, for worse"
347
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,080
does not include
seeing your wife's insides.
348
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,710
You know,
you wouldn't be you
349
00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:37,540
if you weren't
bossing us all around
350
00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:39,120
up until
the last second.
351
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,210
Amelia: You nervous?
352
00:14:42,210 --> 00:14:43,540
[ Exhales sharply ]
Were you?
353
00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:47,040
A little bit.
But I turned out just fine.
354
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,120
That's because
I was perfect,
355
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,460
which I'm willing
to be again.
356
00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:51,580
Richard:
Well, you better be.
357
00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:52,750
Oh, Richard,
I always liked you.
358
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:54,290
No, you didn't.
359
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:56,080
And I'm fine
as long as she's fine.
360
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,330
Okay, okay, can I have a minute
with my husband, please?
361
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,750
I will see you...
when I wake up.
362
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,620
Jackson?
363
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:25,080
Where's Jackson?
364
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,960
[ Diana Ross' "Ain't No Mountain
High Enough" plays ]
365
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:27,750
[ Laughs ]
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
366
00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:28,920
One for the road?
367
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,170
Oh, ha ha!
My baby!
368
00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:35,290
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
[ Sighs ]
369
00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:39,790
[ Screams, laughs ]
370
00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:45,960
[ Vocalizing ]
371
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:49,540
♪ If you need me ♪
372
00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:52,120
♪ Call me ♪
373
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,460
♪ No matter where you are ♪
374
00:15:54,460 --> 00:15:56,670
♪ No matter how far ♪
375
00:15:56,670 --> 00:15:58,880
♪ No wind ♪
♪ No wind ♪
376
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,460
♪ No rain ♪
♪ No rain ♪
377
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,040
♪ Can stop me, babe ♪
378
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,120
♪ If you're my goal ♪
379
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:11,380
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
380
00:16:11,380 --> 00:16:14,040
♪ Ain't no mountain
high enough ♪ ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
381
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,790
♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
382
00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:18,540
♪ Ain't no river
wide enough ♪ ♪ Oh, oh ♪
383
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:21,540
♪ To keep me from you ♪
384
00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:26,580
♪ Ain't no mountain
high enough ♪
385
00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:31,330
♪ Nothing can keep me,
keep me from you ♪
386
00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:33,250
♪ Ain't no mountain high enough
to keep me from you ♪
387
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,670
[ The Commitments'
"Mustang Sally" plays ]
388
00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:45,040
♪ You've been running
all over town ♪
389
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,250
Koracick: Just like that,
we are ready to navigate.
390
00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:51,500
Amelia: Don't you want to
confirm the accuracy first?
391
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:52,670
Oh, what would I do
without someone here
392
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,670
to remind me
of the obvious?
393
00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:57,040
I'm just saying,
maybe a little less music,
394
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:58,500
a little more
concentration.
395
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:02,710
♪ All you want to do
is ride around, Sally ♪
396
00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:05,080
♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪
397
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,790
Whoo!
398
00:17:06,790 --> 00:17:09,420
This is going to be
a long day.
399
00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:13,580
And you are gonna love
every minute of it.
400
00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,210
We're gonna get down
in there.
401
00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:17,040
Get down and dirty.
Here we go.
402
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,580
♪ All you want to do
is ride around, Sally ♪
403
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:23,960
♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪
404
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,880
♪ All you want to do
is ride around, Sally ♪
405
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,120
Mind if I join you?
406
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,710
♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪
407
00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:32,080
I'd like that.
408
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,790
♪ One of these early mornings ♪
409
00:17:35,790 --> 00:17:36,920
♪ I'm gonna be wiping
those weeping eyes ♪
410
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,290
How's the resection
going?
411
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,210
So far so good.
412
00:17:41,210 --> 00:17:43,460
Koracick: Come on.
Let it loose. Let it out.
413
00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:45,460
Are you sure you don't want
to be in the waiting room?
414
00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:47,330
I can watch, and I can report
back to you guys.
415
00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:49,920
No, I'm fine right where I am.
I-I'm good.
416
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,250
♪ I bought you
a brand-new mustang ♪
417
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,000
Do it with me.
Come on, now.
418
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,000
You're mad.
419
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,250
Meredith:
I'm not mad.
420
00:17:58,250 --> 00:18:00,670
Meredith...
421
00:18:00,670 --> 00:18:02,500
Fine. I'm mad.
422
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,080
Because I moved away.
423
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,330
Because you ran away.
424
00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:09,460
Because you have never fought
for anyone or anything
425
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:11,670
that you cared for
in your life.
426
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:13,670
You just disappear.
427
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:16,250
When I gave you
a piece of my liver,
428
00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:18,250
you said we would try,
right?
429
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:20,420
You said we could
get to know each other.
430
00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:23,080
You didn't try.
You didn't fight.
431
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:24,580
And when Lexie died --
432
00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:25,960
I know. I know.
No, you don't know,
433
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,380
because you weren't here.
434
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:30,620
I lost my sister.
I lost my husband.
435
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:32,170
And you were
nowhere to be found.
436
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,380
That's not --
[ Clears throat ]
437
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:36,880
Meredith, I was there
after Derek died.
438
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,290
No, why would you say
something like that?
439
00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:40,290
Because it's the truth,
Meredith.
440
00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:42,040
Richard told me Derek died.
I bought a ticket.
441
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,290
I flew all day,
all night.
442
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,040
I got to the funeral just --
just in time.
443
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,120
I stood a few rows back.
[ Scoffs ]
444
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,880
Next to some of your doctor
friends from the hospital.
445
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,670
I would remember
if you were at his funeral.
446
00:18:53,670 --> 00:18:54,960
I was there, Meredith.
447
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,460
But you were barely there.
You were a ghost.
448
00:18:57,460 --> 00:19:00,670
You looked like me
when I lost Susan and Lexie.
449
00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:02,330
Are you saying
you came to the funeral
450
00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:03,790
and didn't speak to me?
451
00:19:03,790 --> 00:19:06,460
I felt like it would --
would have been for me,
452
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:09,000
not -- [ Coughs ]
not -- not -- [ Coughs ]
453
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,000
for -- [ Coughs ]
for you.
454
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,080
[ Coughing, wheezing ]
455
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,500
Let's get you
to the bed.
456
00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,170
[ Coughing ]
457
00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:23,500
♪♪
458
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:29,920
♪♪
459
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:33,000
[ Coughing, wheezing ]
460
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,170
♪♪
461
00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:37,380
[ Oxygen hisses ]
462
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:41,170
I came home, Meredith.
For you.
463
00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:47,830
♪♪
464
00:19:47,830 --> 00:19:49,620
[ The Talking Heads' "This
Must Be the Place" plays ]
465
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:53,210
♪ And you're standing
here beside me ♪
466
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:55,420
This microscope
is a game changer.
467
00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:56,540
I know. I feel like I could
just walk into the screen
468
00:19:56,540 --> 00:19:59,380
and surf
on the spinal cord.
469
00:19:59,380 --> 00:20:02,290
♪ Never for money,
always for love ♪
470
00:20:02,290 --> 00:20:05,880
♪ Cover up
and say goodnight ♪
471
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,460
♪ Say goodnight ♪
472
00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:09,290
All right...
473
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:13,380
it looks like we are clear
to remove the tumor en bloc.
474
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,960
[ Music continues ]
475
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,460
Except -- hang on.
476
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:18,710
♪♪
477
00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:20,210
I can't get it free.
478
00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:21,790
Okay, then.
Time to suck and pluck.
479
00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:23,210
I'm sorry, what?
The tumor's like a grape.
480
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:24,710
You suck out the inside,
then you pluck out the skin.
481
00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:26,380
Suck and pluck.
482
00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:27,880
Could you call it
something else? Like what?
483
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,620
Literally anything else.
484
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,250
[ Humming ]
485
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:34,420
Jackson: [ Scoffs ]
I hate this dude.
486
00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:36,420
-Jackson, sit.
-No, I hate him. For real.
487
00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:37,580
I want to jump
through this glass
488
00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:38,960
and just, like,
choke him out.
489
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:39,960
He is bopping.
490
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,080
He's bopping
over my mom's spine.
491
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,920
I mean, who does that?
Maybe you should take a walk.
492
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,830
I'm gonna
take a walk now.
493
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:49,420
[ Humming ]
494
00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:53,080
Richard, this can't be good
for you either.
495
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,920
The first year or so
Catherine and I were together,
496
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,080
we figured out how to make
the long distance work
497
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,330
because we'd promise
to show up
498
00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:04,830
whenever we needed,
however we needed.
499
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,790
It's what you do
for the people you love.
500
00:21:06,790 --> 00:21:09,790
She may fuss,
501
00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:13,620
but I don't need to ask her
where she wants me to be.
502
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:15,460
I'm already here.
503
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:17,460
♪ Make it up as we go along ♪
504
00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:19,210
Are you okay if I --
505
00:21:19,210 --> 00:21:20,960
It's fine. Go.
506
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,790
♪ Head in the sky ♪
507
00:21:22,790 --> 00:21:26,210
♪ It's okay,
I know nothing's wrong ♪
508
00:21:26,210 --> 00:21:29,620
♪ Nothing's wrong, oh ♪
509
00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:31,620
♪ I got plenty of time ♪
510
00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:34,540
You gonna lecture me, too,
on how I shouldn't be here?
511
00:21:34,540 --> 00:21:35,960
You shouldn't be.
512
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,830
♪ Oh, you got light
in your eyes ♪
513
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:40,210
But that's not my call.
514
00:21:40,210 --> 00:21:43,170
It's not decompressing.
What do you mean it's not decompressing?
515
00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:44,540
It's too dense,
like it's made of --
516
00:21:44,540 --> 00:21:46,120
I don't know what --
cartilage,
517
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:49,290
small chips
of hard calcifications.
518
00:21:49,290 --> 00:21:50,790
Damn it.
I can't get it either.
519
00:21:50,790 --> 00:21:52,040
Kill the music.
520
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,170
[ Music stops ]
521
00:21:56,170 --> 00:21:58,170
We need to go in
from the front.
522
00:21:58,170 --> 00:22:00,670
Her spine is open.
523
00:22:00,670 --> 00:22:01,880
It's all exposed.
524
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,330
If we move her,
525
00:22:03,330 --> 00:22:05,420
we risk losing function
in her forearm and hand.
526
00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:06,580
It's the only way.
527
00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:10,000
Okay, well, let me ask you
one question first --
528
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,880
Are you insane?
We close up the incision.
529
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,330
We flip her onto her side.
I go in from the front.
530
00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:14,500
We meet in the middle
to decompress
531
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:15,500
and unearth this thing.
532
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,040
So the answer is yes,
you are insane.
533
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,540
We'll get a few more people
in here, we can flip her.
534
00:22:18,540 --> 00:22:20,380
And keep her still
and not sever her spine?
535
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:22,170
Not to mention having
to break scrub,
536
00:22:22,170 --> 00:22:24,000
re-drape, rescrub --
Cow-tipping in Kansas!
537
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,170
Dozens of sexless men!
538
00:22:25,170 --> 00:22:27,000
If it were you again
on the table,
539
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,670
what would you want?
540
00:22:28,670 --> 00:22:33,210
♪♪
541
00:22:33,210 --> 00:22:34,500
[ Exhales sharply ]
542
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:37,120
♪♪
543
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,620
For the record,
I do not like you.
544
00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:42,790
♪♪
545
00:22:42,790 --> 00:22:44,210
Shut down the gallery.
546
00:22:44,210 --> 00:22:47,250
♪♪
547
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:57,540
[ Indistinct talking over P.A. ]
548
00:22:57,540 --> 00:22:59,210
There you are.
549
00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:04,710
[ Exhales sharply ]
550
00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:12,420
Mom's always been
larger than life, you know?
551
00:23:12,420 --> 00:23:16,040
Laughs harder,
yells louder than anyone.
552
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,000
She's the life
of the party.
553
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,420
Even if it's
my birthday party
554
00:23:19,420 --> 00:23:21,000
and she's taking over
the dance floor.
555
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,830
[ Laughs ]
[ Sighs ]
556
00:23:22,830 --> 00:23:24,250
Sounds amazing.
557
00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:25,620
I was 16.
It was mortifying.
558
00:23:25,620 --> 00:23:27,420
[ Laughs ]
559
00:23:27,420 --> 00:23:30,580
[ Sighs ]
She'd always do that.
560
00:23:30,580 --> 00:23:32,000
She always
inserted herself
561
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,420
in every single aspect
of my life, you know,
562
00:23:34,420 --> 00:23:35,790
whether I wanted her to
or not --
563
00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:39,080
Hell, whether I even knew
about it or not.
564
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,500
[ Exhales sharply ]
565
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,080
And, um...
566
00:23:45,790 --> 00:23:49,620
Now I can't, uh...
567
00:23:49,620 --> 00:23:54,080
I can't imagine what a room
would even feel like
568
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:59,460
without her in it
taking up all that space.
569
00:23:59,460 --> 00:24:05,290
It was different...
losing Samuel.
570
00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:13,880
[ Voice breaking ]
That was more like --
571
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,830
like my world collapsing
around me, you know?
572
00:24:15,830 --> 00:24:17,670
And this, I just...
573
00:24:20,540 --> 00:24:24,790
I feel like...
a scared little kid.
574
00:24:28,380 --> 00:24:33,170
[ Voice breaking ]
Like nothing is safe.
575
00:24:33,170 --> 00:24:34,620
Like the world's
upside down
576
00:24:34,620 --> 00:24:36,380
and nothing makes any sense
anymore.
577
00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:38,830
Yeah.
Yeah.
578
00:24:38,830 --> 00:24:41,420
[ Crying ] I don't like it.
I know.
579
00:24:41,420 --> 00:24:45,580
I don't like it.
[ Crying ] I know. I know.
580
00:24:45,580 --> 00:24:48,580
[ The Rescues' "Hold On" plays ]
581
00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:51,380
♪ Hold on ♪
582
00:24:51,380 --> 00:24:55,380
♪ Hold on to yourself ♪
583
00:24:55,380 --> 00:25:01,250
♪ For this is gonna
hurt like hell ♪
584
00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:04,500
♪♪
585
00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:07,250
Koracick: Okay.
Let's rock and roll.
586
00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:11,540
On my count,
one, two, three.
587
00:25:11,540 --> 00:25:14,710
♪♪
588
00:25:14,710 --> 00:25:17,250
Good, good, good.
Easy.
589
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:19,830
♪♪
590
00:25:19,830 --> 00:25:23,790
♪ So now you're sleeping
peaceful ♪
591
00:25:23,790 --> 00:25:27,540
♪ I lie awake and pray ♪
592
00:25:27,540 --> 00:25:29,710
♪ That you'll be strong
tomorrow ♪
593
00:25:29,710 --> 00:25:31,250
Let's secure her hips.
594
00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:34,250
♪ And will see another day ♪
595
00:25:34,250 --> 00:25:37,880
♪ And we will praise it ♪
596
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,540
She's good.
597
00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:42,380
♪ And love the light
that brings a smile ♪
598
00:25:42,380 --> 00:25:45,210
Okay, they did it.
She's okay.
599
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:46,290
♪ Across your face ♪
600
00:25:46,290 --> 00:25:51,880
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, hold on ♪
601
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,540
♪ Oh, God ♪
602
00:25:54,540 --> 00:25:58,710
♪ If you're out there,
won't you hear me? ♪
603
00:25:58,710 --> 00:26:02,380
♪ I know that we have never
talked before ♪
604
00:26:02,380 --> 00:26:04,420
♪ I know that we have never ♪
605
00:26:04,420 --> 00:26:05,580
You ready, Bokie?
606
00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:07,580
♪ Talked before ♪
607
00:26:07,580 --> 00:26:08,920
♪ Oh, God ♪
608
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,580
Amelia: Okay.
Deep breath, everybody.
609
00:26:10,580 --> 00:26:11,750
♪ The one I love ♪
Scalpel.
610
00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,960
♪ Is leaving ♪
611
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:21,960
♪ Don't you take her
when she comes to your door ♪
612
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:26,000
♪♪
613
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,670
Amelia: Dr. Koracick?
614
00:26:27,670 --> 00:26:30,460
♪♪
615
00:26:30,460 --> 00:26:31,330
Tom.
616
00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:34,620
I think
I'm gonna have trouble
617
00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:37,080
getting around
the C7 facet
618
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,000
while keeping the tumor
retracted from this angle.
619
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,330
Maybe you could give it
a try?
620
00:26:41,330 --> 00:26:44,830
♪ And love the light
that brings a smile ♪
621
00:26:44,830 --> 00:26:47,790
Please,
I could do that in my sleep.
622
00:26:47,790 --> 00:26:48,790
♪ Across your face ♪
Show off.
623
00:26:48,790 --> 00:26:52,620
♪ Hold on ♪
624
00:26:52,620 --> 00:26:56,290
♪ Hold on to yourself ♪
625
00:26:56,290 --> 00:26:59,830
♪ For this is gonna
hurt like hell ♪
626
00:26:59,830 --> 00:27:01,500
-Scalpel.
-Scalpel.
627
00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:04,290
♪ Hell ♪
628
00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,710
♪♪
629
00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:08,790
[ Monitors beeping ]
630
00:27:08,790 --> 00:27:13,120
♪♪
631
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:16,120
[ Whirring ]
632
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,460
Is that when you and Richard
started talking?
633
00:27:18,460 --> 00:27:19,830
After the funeral?
634
00:27:19,830 --> 00:27:21,620
[ Breathing heavily ]
635
00:27:25,210 --> 00:27:27,670
I tried calling you.
636
00:27:27,670 --> 00:27:29,210
You never called back.
637
00:27:29,210 --> 00:27:30,420
And I worried.
638
00:27:30,420 --> 00:27:34,040
At first,
I was just checking in on you.
639
00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:39,170
Mm, Richard and I started...
[ Sniffs ]
640
00:27:39,170 --> 00:27:41,170
...talking about
a lot of things.
641
00:27:41,170 --> 00:27:44,540
We both
had amends to make.
642
00:27:44,540 --> 00:27:46,330
There are so many things
643
00:27:46,330 --> 00:27:50,040
I could say I'm sorry for,
Meredith.
644
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:54,330
But all I really want to say
is thank you.
645
00:27:54,330 --> 00:27:56,710
Thank you for what?
646
00:27:56,710 --> 00:27:58,330
[ Exhales sharply ]
647
00:27:58,330 --> 00:28:03,420
For so long,
I measured my life
648
00:28:03,420 --> 00:28:08,750
in the things done to me,
taken from me.
649
00:28:08,750 --> 00:28:14,580
Now I can see my life
for exactly what it is.
650
00:28:14,580 --> 00:28:17,040
Some people have
more pain than others.
651
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,380
But no one, nothing,
was conspiring against me.
652
00:28:20,380 --> 00:28:24,210
When you gave me
a piece of your liver,
653
00:28:24,210 --> 00:28:29,210
you gave me time,
precious time.
654
00:28:29,210 --> 00:28:32,580
Time to get your head
out of your own ass?
655
00:28:32,580 --> 00:28:35,540
[ Laughs ]
656
00:28:35,540 --> 00:28:40,210
[ Inhales deeply ]
657
00:28:40,210 --> 00:28:41,880
[ Coughs ]
658
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,880
Y-- Y--
You could say that.
659
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:51,290
I had a life, Meredith,
'cause of you.
660
00:28:51,290 --> 00:28:58,120
My own real, honest,
painful, incredible life.
661
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:03,420
I just wish you
and I could have shared it.
662
00:29:03,420 --> 00:29:07,750
Well, I guess you did
try this time.
663
00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:09,420
I just didn't know.
664
00:29:09,420 --> 00:29:11,750
[ Laughs ]
665
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,580
I miss Lexie.
666
00:29:13,580 --> 00:29:14,960
[ Laughs ]
667
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,670
I miss her so much.
668
00:29:16,670 --> 00:29:20,460
Me too.
669
00:29:20,460 --> 00:29:23,920
I'm sorry you lost her.
[ Exhales sharply ]
670
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:28,120
I know how much it -- it meant
to you, having a sister.
671
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,250
I have another sister.
672
00:29:32,250 --> 00:29:36,620
But you and Molly,
you were never close.
673
00:29:36,620 --> 00:29:40,000
♪♪
674
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,880
Her name is Maggie.
675
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,500
Oh...
676
00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:47,000
She's brilliant.
And kind.
677
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:51,210
She's the best of Ellis
and Richard.
678
00:29:51,210 --> 00:29:56,120
Your -- Your mother
and Richard had a baby.
679
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,380
[ Breathes deeply ]
680
00:29:58,380 --> 00:30:02,000
♪♪
681
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,460
At least something good
came from all that.
682
00:30:05,460 --> 00:30:07,460
♪♪
683
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,580
[ Groans ] I'm gonna get
a humpback operating with you.
684
00:30:16,580 --> 00:30:17,830
Amelia: I'm already standing
on a step stool.
685
00:30:17,830 --> 00:30:18,540
what more do you want
from me?
686
00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:20,040
Heels?
687
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,880
Okay,
it looks like the tumor
688
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,080
is free of
the brachial plexus.
689
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,250
Should we try
to pull it out?
690
00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:26,420
Let's do it.
691
00:30:26,420 --> 00:30:27,880
[ Beep ]
692
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,080
EP Doc: We've lost
all the signal from one arm.
693
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,380
The tumor
is moving pretty easily.
694
00:30:31,380 --> 00:30:32,710
Check your machine.
Could be artifact.
695
00:30:32,710 --> 00:30:35,330
No, there's still a little
tension from my side.
696
00:30:35,330 --> 00:30:37,920
I -- I think it's coming
from the root.
697
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,250
Which means there's no way
to remove this without...
698
00:30:40,250 --> 00:30:41,670
Risking paralysis.
699
00:30:41,670 --> 00:30:43,540
♪♪
700
00:30:43,540 --> 00:30:44,830
[ Sighs ]
701
00:30:44,830 --> 00:30:45,920
If they can't remove
the whole tumor,
702
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:47,500
they're gonna have to do it
piecemeal.
703
00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:49,080
Bailey:
But then they risk
704
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,880
leaving some of the tumor
behind.
705
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:55,670
♪♪
706
00:30:55,670 --> 00:30:57,460
What?
707
00:30:57,460 --> 00:31:02,380
♪♪
708
00:31:02,380 --> 00:31:03,710
My path pen.
709
00:31:03,710 --> 00:31:05,460
Remove the tumor piecemeal,
710
00:31:05,460 --> 00:31:07,460
and then use the pen
to see if you got it all.
711
00:31:07,460 --> 00:31:09,710
Okay, it hasn't cleared
FDA process yet,
712
00:31:09,710 --> 00:31:12,920
and it isn't on the market,
but I'm telling you, it works.
713
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:16,710
♪♪
714
00:31:16,710 --> 00:31:19,080
Koracick: I really have
always liked you, Richard.
715
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,290
No, you haven't.
716
00:31:21,290 --> 00:31:23,380
Amelia: Yes. Get it.
717
00:31:23,380 --> 00:31:28,380
♪♪
718
00:31:28,380 --> 00:31:29,920
[ Door closes ]
719
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,210
Meredith: [ Laughs ]
720
00:31:31,210 --> 00:31:33,210
And that twitch
over her right eye
721
00:31:33,210 --> 00:31:34,750
when you switched
the ice maker
722
00:31:34,750 --> 00:31:35,960
from cubed to crushed.
723
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,790
"What kind of a monster
crushes ice?
724
00:31:37,790 --> 00:31:39,080
It's uncivilized."
725
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,790
Crushed ice
was uncivilized.
726
00:31:41,790 --> 00:31:43,420
Taking my last cup
of coffee...
727
00:31:43,420 --> 00:31:45,120
uncivilized.
Uncivilized.
728
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,960
Getting an A-
in Chem Lab.
729
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,750
Uncivilized.
Uncivilized.
730
00:31:49,750 --> 00:31:51,750
[ Laughs ] She was...
731
00:31:51,750 --> 00:31:52,920
Kind of a tyrant.
732
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,080
But brilliant.
733
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,420
Oh, I can't argue
with that.
734
00:31:56,420 --> 00:31:57,790
[ Laughs ]
Terrible driver.
735
00:31:57,790 --> 00:32:00,420
Can't argue with that.
736
00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:03,120
But she was
extraordinary.
737
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,750
Yeah.
Oh.
738
00:32:06,750 --> 00:32:08,920
Do you regret
marrying her?
739
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,920
[ Breathing heavily ]
740
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,920
The entire time
she was pregnant with you,
741
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,080
she pretended
she wasn't.
742
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:19,620
I don't know if it was
stubbornness or denial.
743
00:32:19,620 --> 00:32:21,460
Maybe both.
744
00:32:21,460 --> 00:32:25,290
Nine months, she had to do
everything herself.
745
00:32:25,290 --> 00:32:27,710
And I had to let her.
746
00:32:27,710 --> 00:32:30,500
The night she went into labor,
she came home after surgery,
747
00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:35,670
and she just stood
in the doorway, wide-eyed.
748
00:32:35,670 --> 00:32:39,040
"We're having a baby,
Thatch.
749
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:43,380
We're having a baby."
[ Laughs ]
750
00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:46,790
[ Breathes deeply ]
751
00:32:46,790 --> 00:32:50,000
As if the idea just hit her,
right there.
752
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,000
She -- She started to laugh.
She couldn't stop laughing.
753
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,620
Laughed all the way
to the hospital.
754
00:32:56,620 --> 00:32:59,620
I never heard her laugh
like that,
755
00:32:59,620 --> 00:33:03,500
so big, so free.
756
00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:05,750
♪♪
757
00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:09,330
And I just thought,
"Wow.
758
00:33:09,330 --> 00:33:13,500
What a way for you
to come into the world."
759
00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:17,250
We weren't perfect.
760
00:33:17,250 --> 00:33:20,420
We weren't even happy
a lot of the time.
761
00:33:20,420 --> 00:33:24,000
But I'd marry her
all over again
762
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:28,330
for that night,
that laugh.
763
00:33:28,330 --> 00:33:30,210
And you.
764
00:33:30,210 --> 00:33:33,330
And this.
765
00:33:33,330 --> 00:33:38,500
I'd do it all again
for this.
766
00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:45,080
♪♪
767
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,920
[ Buzzer ]
768
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:48,120
Koracick: How can there
still be cancer there?
769
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,380
We've been at this
for hours.
770
00:33:49,380 --> 00:33:50,880
It's still lighting up
like Christmas.
771
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,290
Let's just keep going.
772
00:33:53,290 --> 00:33:55,710
We'll hit clear tissue
eventually.
773
00:33:55,710 --> 00:33:57,880
[ Buzzer ]
774
00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,040
[ Beep ]
EP Doc: Signal's fading again.
775
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:00,540
She's losing function
in her arms.
776
00:34:00,540 --> 00:34:02,710
We've barely touched anything.
Amelia: Breathe.
777
00:34:02,710 --> 00:34:05,540
We are going
in the right direction.
778
00:34:05,540 --> 00:34:06,710
Losing the signal
in her other arm --
779
00:34:06,710 --> 00:34:08,880
Okay, stop it! We know!
If we keep going,
780
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,460
we cost Catherine
her motor function,
781
00:34:10,460 --> 00:34:12,540
her career, her life
as she knows it -- we know!
782
00:34:12,540 --> 00:34:17,750
♪♪
783
00:34:17,750 --> 00:34:23,210
♪♪
784
00:34:23,210 --> 00:34:25,000
Meredith...
785
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,960
Okay,
don't try to speak.
786
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,790
But...the closet.
787
00:34:29,790 --> 00:34:31,000
I left something...
788
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,290
I don't need anything.
789
00:34:34,290 --> 00:34:36,750
...for your kids.
790
00:34:36,750 --> 00:34:38,750
[ Breathing heavily ]
791
00:34:38,750 --> 00:34:41,080
I wish...
792
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,830
I wish I knew them.
793
00:34:43,830 --> 00:34:47,580
I thought of --
I thought of them.
794
00:34:47,580 --> 00:34:50,750
[ Exhales sharply ]
795
00:34:50,750 --> 00:34:52,620
Ahh.
796
00:34:52,620 --> 00:34:56,750
Your hands are so cold.
797
00:34:56,750 --> 00:34:57,670
Sorry, I can --
798
00:34:57,670 --> 00:35:01,170
No, no, no.
799
00:35:01,170 --> 00:35:02,830
Oh, it feels good.
800
00:35:02,830 --> 00:35:09,120
♪♪
801
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:14,290
Zola is so smart
and so strong.
802
00:35:14,290 --> 00:35:17,380
Yeah?
And she keeps me on my toes
803
00:35:17,380 --> 00:35:19,880
every minute
of every day.
804
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:24,120
And Bailey says "funny"
before every sentence.
805
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,710
"Funny,
I'd like an apple.
806
00:35:26,710 --> 00:35:28,880
Funny, I need pajamas."
807
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:32,120
It's so cute.
808
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:36,460
And Ellis...
she is brave.
809
00:35:36,460 --> 00:35:39,960
And she's obsessed
with hip-hop.
810
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:45,830
They are exhausting...
and amazing.
811
00:35:45,830 --> 00:35:48,330
♪♪
812
00:35:48,330 --> 00:35:52,170
I wish you knew them,
too.
813
00:35:52,170 --> 00:35:55,580
Because they are so,
so beautiful.
814
00:35:55,580 --> 00:36:00,170
[ Exhales deeply ]
815
00:36:00,170 --> 00:36:06,830
♪♪
816
00:36:06,830 --> 00:36:10,500
[ Exhales heavily ]
817
00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:17,000
♪♪
818
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:23,710
♪♪
819
00:36:23,710 --> 00:36:25,250
[ Sighs heavily ]
820
00:36:33,540 --> 00:36:35,380
[ Monitors beeping ]
821
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:42,040
How...
822
00:36:43,710 --> 00:36:45,710
Easy. Easy, Mom.
823
00:36:45,710 --> 00:36:48,540
Catherine: How -- How --
Easy, easy, easy, easy.
824
00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:49,880
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.
825
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,040
Hey.
826
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,080
-Mm-hmm.
-Uh-huh. -I feel that.
827
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:57,380
Okay.
Hold on, hold on.
828
00:36:57,380 --> 00:37:01,120
All right. Well,
your reflexes are normal.
829
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:05,250
My hands and feet move.
Whoo.
830
00:37:05,250 --> 00:37:08,580
I'm not dead?
With that tumor?
831
00:37:08,580 --> 00:37:10,540
No, you're most definitely
not dead.
832
00:37:10,540 --> 00:37:12,500
Oh, I thought for sure
they were gonna kill me.
833
00:37:16,620 --> 00:37:21,250
What?
834
00:37:21,250 --> 00:37:23,080
Tell me.
835
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,290
Catherine, when we went in
to get the tumor,
836
00:37:26,290 --> 00:37:28,960
it was adherent
to your brachial plexus.
837
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:32,250
Koracick: We were able
to remove about 95% of it,
838
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:35,580
but we had to leave
one nodule behind.
839
00:37:35,580 --> 00:37:40,420
So...radiation? Chemo?
840
00:37:42,750 --> 00:37:45,460
They've had some success
with proton beam therapy.
841
00:37:45,460 --> 00:37:47,420
Some?
842
00:37:47,420 --> 00:37:51,960
It's likely,
even with treatment...
843
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,000
I'll have to live
with this cancer
844
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,120
the rest of my life.
845
00:37:56,120 --> 00:38:00,670
I was sure you'd get it all
or kill me trying.
846
00:38:00,670 --> 00:38:02,670
So did we.
847
00:38:02,670 --> 00:38:05,120
Catherine,
I'm so sorry.
848
00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:09,330
Sorry? I'm alive.
849
00:38:09,330 --> 00:38:13,120
I can live with this
for many years.
850
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:17,290
People live with cancer.
We've all seen it happen.
851
00:38:17,290 --> 00:38:18,830
You're gonna have to get, uh,
scans every three months
852
00:38:18,830 --> 00:38:21,120
to make sure the tumor
doesn't, uh, grow.
853
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:22,790
And in between,
I'll operate.
854
00:38:22,790 --> 00:38:25,210
Mm.
And I'll hug my son.
855
00:38:25,210 --> 00:38:27,000
Mm.
856
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,460
Make love to my husband.
857
00:38:29,460 --> 00:38:30,670
Okay...
858
00:38:30,670 --> 00:38:34,620
Chase my Harriet,
make mistakes,
859
00:38:34,620 --> 00:38:37,330
and fight about who gets
to pick the movie on date night.
860
00:38:37,330 --> 00:38:39,000
[ Chuckles ]
861
00:38:41,670 --> 00:38:44,040
You two have given me
my life back.
862
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,000
[ Chuckles ]
863
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,670
Now what?
864
00:38:47,670 --> 00:38:48,920
'Cause we didn't
plan on this.
865
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,750
[ Laughs ]
866
00:38:50,750 --> 00:38:53,040
These two pulled off
a miracle.
867
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,710
Miracles aren't always
punctuation marks.
868
00:38:56,710 --> 00:38:58,710
But they are worth celebrating.
869
00:38:58,710 --> 00:39:01,170
So we are gonna have
that party.
870
00:39:01,170 --> 00:39:04,210
We just might have to wait
a couple of months
871
00:39:04,210 --> 00:39:05,920
so I can get
on the dance floor.
872
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,580
[ Laughs ]
[ Chuckles ]
873
00:39:07,580 --> 00:39:10,500
I love you.
874
00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:11,670
♪♪
875
00:39:11,670 --> 00:39:13,830
[ Both laugh ]
876
00:39:13,830 --> 00:39:15,040
[ Smooches ]
877
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,000
[ Elevator bell dings ]
878
00:39:21,710 --> 00:39:24,460
[ Telephone rings ]
879
00:39:24,460 --> 00:39:28,290
[ Indistinct talking over P.A. ]
880
00:39:28,290 --> 00:39:30,620
Teddy: Hey.
I heard about the surgery.
881
00:39:30,620 --> 00:39:31,790
Congratulations.
882
00:39:31,790 --> 00:39:33,080
Oh. I know, I know.
883
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:34,290
You knew I had it in me
all along.
884
00:39:34,290 --> 00:39:35,880
Honestly?
I was on the fence.
885
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,880
[ Laughs ]
886
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,460
You should be
really proud.
887
00:39:42,460 --> 00:39:44,960
There are not a lot of surgeons
who could do that.
888
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,580
Which part?
889
00:39:46,580 --> 00:39:48,040
Where I flipped my friend
like a pancake
890
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,960
or failed to leave her
cancer free?
891
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:51,920
The part where
you saved her life
892
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,540
and her surgical career.
893
00:39:56,250 --> 00:39:58,290
Yeah, that part
wasn't half bad.
894
00:40:00,750 --> 00:40:03,080
You should celebrate.
895
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,750
Why don't you get
cleaned up?
896
00:40:04,750 --> 00:40:06,120
I'll meet you at Joe's,
and I'll buy you a drink.
897
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,290
Uh...w--
Can we take a rain check?
898
00:40:08,290 --> 00:40:10,830
I...I'm wiped.
And I-I smell bad.
899
00:40:10,830 --> 00:40:15,420
And when you spend money on me,
I want to smell good.
900
00:40:15,420 --> 00:40:17,420
[ Elevator bell dings ]
Yeah. Okay.
901
00:40:17,420 --> 00:40:18,580
Night.
902
00:40:18,580 --> 00:40:20,580
Goodnight.
903
00:40:20,580 --> 00:40:25,750
♪ Red lights are flashing
on the highway ♪
904
00:40:25,750 --> 00:40:27,750
Meredith:
When it comes to medicine,
905
00:40:27,750 --> 00:40:31,120
who's to say
what is winning or losing?
906
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,120
♪ I wonder if we're gonna ever
get home tonight ♪
907
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:35,750
There's just as much value
in trying again
908
00:40:35,750 --> 00:40:39,120
as there is in letting go...
909
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:43,000
♪ But if you break down ♪
Koracick: I saved my friend today, David.
910
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,460
♪ I'll drive out and find you ♪
911
00:40:45,460 --> 00:40:48,620
I didn't think I-I could,
and it wasn't perfect.
912
00:40:48,620 --> 00:40:51,170
♪ If you forget my love ♪
[ Laughs ]
913
00:40:51,170 --> 00:40:53,620
Your dad was kind of a badass.
914
00:40:53,620 --> 00:40:55,830
♪ I'll try to remind you ♪
915
00:40:55,830 --> 00:40:59,380
...letting go of suffering,
regret, pain, fear.
916
00:40:59,380 --> 00:41:03,290
♪ And stay by you ♪
917
00:41:03,290 --> 00:41:08,120
♪ When it don't come easy ♪
918
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:11,790
♪ When it don't come easy ♪
919
00:41:11,790 --> 00:41:19,620
♪♪
920
00:41:19,620 --> 00:41:20,540
♪ I don't know nothing
except change will come ♪
921
00:41:20,540 --> 00:41:27,210
I operated on a freaking
legend's spine today.
922
00:41:27,210 --> 00:41:29,420
And it was terrifying.
[ Chuckles ]
923
00:41:29,420 --> 00:41:32,210
And exhilarating.
924
00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:34,830
And imperfect.
925
00:41:34,830 --> 00:41:37,210
♪ I wonder if we're gonna
ever get home ♪
926
00:41:37,210 --> 00:41:40,670
Mostly terrifying.
[ Chuckles ]
927
00:41:40,670 --> 00:41:42,250
Because she's not
just a legend.
928
00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:45,420
She matters so much
to so many people that I love...
929
00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:47,500
♪ And all of the signs
got blown away ♪
930
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:50,040
♪ Sometimes you wonder if you're
walking in the wrong direction ♪
931
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:51,830
Most of my life,
I have been chasing
932
00:41:51,830 --> 00:41:56,670
the kind of high
that I feel right now.
933
00:41:56,670 --> 00:41:59,380
♪ But if you break down ♪
[ Sniffles ]
934
00:41:59,380 --> 00:42:02,670
I gave a surgeon back
her hands today.
935
00:42:02,670 --> 00:42:07,460
I gave a husband his wife,
a son his mother.
936
00:42:07,460 --> 00:42:11,120
[ Sighs ]
937
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,880
And I am so incredibly grateful
to be sober...
938
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,120
[ Exhales sharply ]
939
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,120
...to be present enough
to have felt
940
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:23,710
every terrifying,
exhilarating,
941
00:42:23,710 --> 00:42:26,120
imperfect moment.
942
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,710
♪ When it don't come easy ♪
943
00:42:28,710 --> 00:42:30,540
Instead of saying
someone we love
944
00:42:30,540 --> 00:42:36,120
is battling, beating, fighting,
winning, or losing,
945
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,540
why don't we just
tell the truth.
946
00:42:37,540 --> 00:42:39,210
♪ So many things
that I had before ♪
947
00:42:39,210 --> 00:42:41,460
Meredith:
There you go, sweethearts.
948
00:42:41,460 --> 00:42:43,460
♪ That don't matter
to me now ♪
949
00:42:43,460 --> 00:42:45,500
We get sick.
We take our medicine...
950
00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:47,290
♪♪
951
00:42:47,290 --> 00:42:49,920
Zola: Wow. So cool.
952
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,920
Where did you get it,
Mommy?
953
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,500
Uh, your grandfather,
Thatcher.
954
00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:57,330
He wanted you to have it,
and he wanted you to know
955
00:42:57,330 --> 00:42:58,920
that he cared about you
very much...
956
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:00,580
Funny, I love it.
957
00:43:00,580 --> 00:43:03,790
...some of us live, some die.
958
00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:06,750
Mommy, are you okay?
959
00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:12,750
♪ When it don't come easy ♪
Yes, Zo-Zo. I will be fine.
960
00:43:12,750 --> 00:43:16,330
♪ When it don't come easy ♪
961
00:43:16,330 --> 00:43:18,460
♪♪
962
00:43:26,580 --> 00:43:34,790
♪♪
963
00:43:34,790 --> 00:43:43,290
♪♪
964
00:43:43,290 --> 00:43:51,500
♪♪
965
00:43:51,550 --> 00:43:56,100
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