All language subtitles for Fresh Off the Boat s05e12 Legends of the Fortieth.eng

So how do we feel
about these aviators?

I think I look great,
like a business pilot.

They're a bit
serial killer-y.

Okay. Good feedback.
Tad harsh, but fair.

So then, how about
these browline clubmasters?

Style on top,
substance down below.

Have you considered
a monocle?

You could be
like Mr. Peanut!

What's up with the glasses
anyways, Dad?

You're always touting
your 20/20 vision.

Well, I'm excited
to report

those clear-seeing days
are over

because I'm turning 40!

The age one's vision
officially begins to fail.

I will never
fail an eye exam

because I have memorized
the letter board.

E, F-P, T-O-Z,

P-D-L-E, D-E-F-Z-C,

F-C-Z-D-E-P.

Well, I'm excited
for glasses.

I can finally look
as wise as I feel.

The waiting's
the hardest part.

See? Wisdom.

Glasses
or no glasses,

how are we gonna
celebrate your birthday?

I'm thinking

yacht ride.
* Yeah

I've already decided
on the perfect plan.

Camping!

**

-- Captions by VITAC --

* Fresh off the boat

* I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go *

* If you don't know, homey,
now you know *

* Fresh off the boat

* Homey, you don't know
where I come from *

* But I know where I'm goin'

* I'm fresh off the boat

Dad, have you ever
been camping before?

-No.
-Then where did this come from?

I just watched
"Legends of the Fall,"

and I can't stop
thinking about it.

The big sky,
the rugged land,

the raw emotions,
and then it hit me.

I want to spend my 40th
in the great outdoors.

Is this like when you watched
the movie "Roger Rabbit"

and wanted a rabbit?

No, I just think
it'll be fun to explore

the frontier as a family.

What kind of role does
the mother character

play in this film?
Mm...

None, really.
She abandoned the family.

Perfect.

So no camping for me
in this reenactment.

Such a shame.

**

Looks like it's gonna be
only us Huang men

out in the wilderness.

We'll be just like
the Ludlows --

Anthony Hopkins,
Brad Pitt,

those two other guys.

**

**

Howdy.
Glad you made it.

Careful where you step.

This horse just
took a huge dump.

[ Horse whinnies ]

**

To be Brad Pitt,
even for a day...

**

Anyway. Camping.
Cool, right?

Yeah, Dad.
Super cool.

Totally.
Camping sounds awesome.

Yeah,
super totally.

Great! I'll grab a map
and start a gear list.

It will be comprehensive
because we don't have any gear.

Oh, uh, Ma.
Did you want to --

There are no canoes
in "Legend of the Fall."

[ Scoffs ]

**

G-7.
Miss.

Ugh, another miss?

[ Laughing ] How?
I haven't had a single hit

in nearly an hour.

Wait. Are you moving
the ships?

They're under attack.
Why would they stay still?

Jessica, you can't --
[ Chuckles ]

You know what?
It's fine.

I'm just happy
to be playing at all.

Marvin doesn't play?

I thought
he was in the Navy.

I got this for
Marvin's birthday one year,

and he totally
freaked out.

He said, "There's no way four
shots could sink a battleship."

-Hmm.
-Oh, speaking of birthdays,

what did you get Louis
for his 40th?

What I always get him.

A tie.

A tie?

Don't you want to get him
something a little nicer?

I thought about
getting it monogrammed,

but I don't like
his initials.

I just mean turning 40
is a big deal.

If this were
the Middle Ages,

he'd be the oldest person
in the world.

Well, it's not the Middle Ages.
Everyone turns 40 these days.

You hit triple digits,
then we will talk.

[ Inhales deeply ]

B-3.

[ Scoffs ]
Hit.

You sunk my destroyer.
That's the last of my fleet.

Still undefeated
at children's board games!

**

What are we gonna do about
Dad's terrible camping idea?

I guess
we suck it up.

I'm already practicing
my fake enthusiasm.

"Whoa, if that's Orion's Belt,
where are his pants?"

No way. I'm not spending
my weekend outside.

I can't pee when I know
there could be animals watching.

Exactly.
Camping is hard,

and birthdays are
supposed to be fun.

What choice do we have?
It's Dad's birthday.

He gets to decide.

That's why we have
to convince him

to decide
to do something else,

like throwing a party.

Ooh. Bring on the birthday cake
and Shirley Temples.

Man, I love
Shirley Temples!

That was real enthusiasm!

Then we're agreed.

What Dad really wants to do
is have a party.

Great because I am not
sleeping on the ground.

You think this posture
just happens?

**

[ Door opens, closes ]

Honey, I know
you're pregnant again,

but we need to set limits
on your cravings-requests.

I was just here --

Have a seat, Jessica.

Marvin and I were talking,

and, out of love,

we wanted to discuss
your gift-giving habits.

Think of this
as an intervention.

A-A conversation.

We're worried you're not
putting enough thought

into Louis'
birthday gift.

You should get him
something

a little more personal
than a tie.

Mm-hmm.

Like the game "Battleship"?
-Please don't --

Ugh, I think that "Battleship"
is a trash game. Here we go.

To reduce the Navy
to a plastic grid

of numbers and letters.

What a farce.

Sweetheart,
it's a classic game.

Everyone loves it.
Oh, does everyone know how vast the ocean is?

How complex?

It's a living,
breathing organism,

for goodness' sake.

Back to Louis'
birthday gift...

I know my husband,

and I know he doesn't want
a fuss made over him,

so no big parties.

No horse that does tricks.

No sentimental gifts
from me.

But the 40th
is different, Jessica.

You -- You begin to see life
in an entirely new way.

Like my old diesel mechanic
used to say,

"On that day,
you're not over the hill.

You're on top of it."

That's beautiful,
sugar bear.

I miss that garage.
Aww.

I grew up there

in ways that I should
probably keep to myself.

So what did you get Louis?

Oh, I got him
a top-of-the-line,

American felling ax.

It represents the importance
of exploring the world

and building a life
no matter how old you get.

Well, if you're such
gift experts,

what'd you get Marvin
when he turned 40?

Uh...

I was 8.

So nothing then.

**

Hey, boys.

I'm getting us all knives

for whittling
or maybe blood oaths.

Sounds great, Dad.

Also we were thinking
we could skip camping

and throw a party here
in Orlando instead.

No camping?
But you guys were so excited.

And I was excited to
teach you guys things you've never done --

build a fire,
forage for berries,

hang our clothes
on a branch while we swim.

But, Dad,
this is your big 4-0.

We should spend it celebrating
everything that makes you you.

To list -- great friends,
great food,

music and dancing.

You love dancing.

Weren't you
the Cha Cha King of Taipei?

Can't dance
in the woods.

I guess that's true.

I wasn't burning firewood
in my day.

I was burning up
dance floors.

You give me a soft leather sole
and a beat,

and I'd give you
the world.

See? All we're saying
is it's your 40th.

You should go big.
-And think about it.

You won't get another milestone
birthday until you're 50.

And who knows
where we'll all be by then?

Evan: Yeah.
10 years from now,

I could be
studying in Paris.

Or at the rate I'm skipping
grades, governing it.

Eddie:
And I'll probably be coming off the bench for the Knicks.

I mean, someone's got
to foul Shaq.

I guess I never
thought of it that way.

You know what?
Let's do it.

I'd love to plan a party
with you guys.

You sure you're down
for this?

Is the hypotenuse
the longest side of a triangle?

Yes.
The answer is yes. Yes.

**

I'm so glad
we pulled this off.

I'm already thinking about
that Shirley Temple.

The key is the two-to-one ratio
of grenadine to Sprite.

Two to one?!

Way too sweet!
What are you, a hummingbird?

Hey, who's ready
to party...

plan?

[ Thuds ]

Is this all
for one day?!

Well, technically,
two days

should the festivities
go past midnight,

which they will,
if we do our jobs.

Wait. When did camping
turn into a party?

Oh, well, the boys
had a good point.

You only turn 40 once.
It's a big deal.

Anyway, I'll let you boys
look through this.

I can't wait to brainstorm
my entrance song.

I'm thinking
"Louie Louie."

**

[ Sighs ]

I thought he wanted
to keep it simple.

Eddie: There are five pages
on color schemes.

How many versions of gold
can there be?

"Muted Champagne"?

"October Wheat"?

There's an entire section
called "Vibe."

That's what caught your eye?

Not the tab labeled

"Coconut Bras --
question mark"?

How did this happen?

Camping sounded
like a lot,

and Dad was into
the idea of a party.

We thought
it would be easier.

Well, you seem to have this
under control,

so I'm just gonna
go to the kitchen

and check on dinner.

**

[ Door closes ]

Honey,
we have a crisis.

Louis does think his birthday
is a big deal.

You were right.

Maybe my giving him a tie
isn't personal enough.

This is nothing
we can't fix.

All you have to do is give him
something from the heart.

Can I confess
something to you?

Of course, Jessica.
Anything.

I'm...

not a sentimental
person.

Ah, yeah.

Well, lucky for you,

pulling heartstrings
is a my jam.

It's time for you to learn
about the "Love Languages."

I went to
the University of Maryland.

They're called
Romance languages.

No, these are
the Love Languages.

They're the ways that we express
affection to one another.

It's all in there.
Can you just tell me how it ends?

Mm, it's not
that kind of book.

Each chapter covers
a different method

for expressing love.

You just need to figure out
which one Louis responds to

and then match his gift
to that.

This really works?
Yeah.

How do you think
Marvin and I

got past
the "Battleship" debacle?

Once I learned he values
"Acts of Service,"

I started making his day

by taping "Price Is Right"
when he was at work.

And then, when he learned mine
was "Words of Affirmation,"

he started writing me
the most amazing poems.

Ugh, this all sounds
very "flower person" to me.

It's "flower child,"

and there's nothing hippie
about it.

Hey, Honey. Oh, hi.

I'm looking for
a long, sturdy box.

The gift is hard to wrap.

I already picked you up
a giant bow from the store.

It's all you need!
-Oh, you're a genius, Honey.

God, I love you.
-Aww.

[ Clears throat ]
"Some Honey for this bee?

Yesiree."
[ Chuckles ]

**

Louis:
* Louie Louie

* Oh, oh, turning 40, 40

[ Laughs ]
All right, guys.

I already took care of section 9
in binder 2 --

Venue.
We'll host it at Cattleman's!

-There's a section 9?
-There's a second binder?

I'm kidding.

Cattleman's
was always the venue.

I just never
included it because

I didn't want to waste
valuable space on the D-ring.

[ Chuckles ] Good one.

All right. I'll go gather
all our extension cords,

splitters,
and surge protectors.

This party is really
gonna test the grid!

[ Sighs ]
This sucks.

We should do
what we always do

when we have an enormous amount
of schoolwork --

buckle in
and do it all in one day.

Like the time we knocked out
two English papers,

a science experiment,

and built the White House
out of sugar cubes.

It opened up our Sunday
for filing

Freedom of Information
requests.

They may not have figured out
who shot JFK, but we will.

You know,
once in a while,

it's good to know nerds.
Let's do this.

**

**

Um, what are you doing?

Fluffing your pillow
to show you I care.

But I like it
flat and limp.

No.

**

[ Razor buzzing ]

**

[ Buzzing stops ]

What's happening
right now?

I'm expressing
physical touch.

Are you
enjoying yourself?

Are you?

[ Hits sink ]

**

Good job
buttering that toast.

Even spread right up
to the crust.

Nice.

Yes, I will
make you some, too.

[ Knife clinks ]

**

[ Birds chirping ]

[ Sighs ] Writing all these
invitations wiped me out.

I can't imagine how you made
all these cupcakes.

I ate every fifth one
to keep my energy up.

I gave those balloons
everything I had.

Look, at least we're done.

[ Door opens ]

Whoa.

You guys already
did this without me?

I thought we were
gonna do it together.

Well, now all that's
left to do is party.

Wow, you guys are
really into this, huh?

-Of course, we are.
-Yeah, anything for you, Dad.

Well, now that you've
freed up all this time --

let's dance!

What?
I'm gonna teach you the cha-cha,

and we'll perform it together
at my party!

-What?
-This is perfect.

You know, I learned
when I was your age.

But we're three
different ages.

You guys said
this party is about

celebrating
what makes me, me.

And what makes me, me --

cha-cha!

Great. Great.

Jessica,
what is this all about?

I know it's not technically
your birthday yet,

but I was
too excited to wait!

Great card.

Really great.

[ Exhales deeply ]

[ Hinges creak ]

**

Well,
what do you think?

Jessica, I love it!

[ Chuckles ]
For a second,

I thought there was gonna be
a really big tie in there.

Oh, no. What can I say?
You know, it's your 40th.

The ax represents the importance
of exploring the world

and building a life
no matter how old you get.

A symbolic tool.
Amazing.

[ Door opens ]
Honey: Louis?

Hey, Honey.

Can you believe this amazing
gift Jessica got me?

She knew just what I wanted
without even asking. [axing]

Dad jokes. I'm 40.

[ Laughs ]

Wow.
An American felling ax.

What a thoughtful gift.

How did you
come up with that?

Dream.
It came to me in a dream.

Louis: Oh, if you think
this is thoughtful,

wait till you hear what
she wrote in the card.

No, no, Louis.

Personal!
It's so personal.

What it is
is beautiful.

"To my loving husband,
on this day,

you're not over the hill,

you're on top of it."

[ Voice breaking ]
Really beautiful card.

That's one hell of a dream
you had.

[ Normal voice ] I'm gonna
go see what I look like

holding this
in a mirror.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, I feel like you're upset
with me about Louis' gift.

Of course I'm upset!

Marvin put a lot of thought
into that ax,

and you stole it!

Well, I panicked.

Louis' birthday is soon,
and I have nothing.

First, you got in my head
about the tie,

and then you gave me
that book that didn't work.

So, in a way,
this is all your fault.

You stole Marvin's ax.

I st-- I --

Jessica,
I cannot believe this.

**

Louis: Now I know
you're probably thinking,

"Where's our
matching outfits?"

But don't worry,

I've got Hector
swinging by the tailor

after he picks up
a pallet of ribs.

Now, eyes on me.

[ Cha-cha music plays ]

**

* One, two,
cha-cha-cha *

* One, two,
cha-cha-cha *

See what
I'm doing here?

* Cha-cha-cha

* One, two,
cha-cha-cha *

Eddie: Are you sure
about this?

I mean, we'd hate
to interrupt the party

that's in full swing
to do a dance.

Louis: Keep the hips loose,
just like this.

Arms up, and a smile.

That's the most important
thing -- the smile.

"Suck it up and go camping,"
I said, but no.

No one listens to me.

You're the one
who reminded him

he's the Cha Cha King
of Taipei.

He's the king
of this?

What kind of kingdom
is this?

Your arms are like --
like broken bird wings.

Just like
they're broken.

**

A cha-cha-cha!

**

[ Gasps ]

**

This is how it ends for me.

I would've knocked,

but I didn't want
to wake the baby.

Oh, now you're worried
about others?

I'm sorry I stole this.

I'm just worried I don't know
Louis as well as I think I do.

What are you
talking about?

You saw how excited he got
with the ax.

I never would have thought
to get him something like this.

Well, of course,
you wouldn't.

Louis and Marvin have
a different relationship

than you two do.

They're into chili,
"Ernest" movies,

and turning tires
into swings.

Do you really want to sit
around talking about axes?

No, I don't.
Me, neither.

You and I have
a different relationship.

You think they want
to sit around

discussing
Stephen King novels

or spend an afternoon
prank-calling Deidre?

[ Scary voice ] "I'll wear
your face as my face."

[ Normal voice ]
We do have fun. Mm-hmm.

And so do you and Louis.

I mean, Jessica, you know him
better than anyone.

I'm sure you'll find
the perfect gift.

-And you're sure it's not --
-It's not a tie.

[ Cha-cha music plays ]

5, 6, 7, 8.

**

All right, now this part
right here is important.

How many parts
are there?

Well, there's
four basic ones,

but we're not
stopping there.

I didn't win the crown
by keeping things simple.

Hey, holster
those bony wrists.

Evan, make sure you don't work
a slow step in there.

This isn't a mambo.
[ Chuckles ]

I'm not
a visual learner.

Eddie,
remember to breathe.

You're looking
a little stiff.

I don't have
the hips for this.

**

[ Music stops ]
It's okay, boys.

Much like
the cha-cha itself,

learning to dance is often
two steps forward

and a rock-step back.

Do we really have
to do this? Yeah.

Can we just be done?
-Trust me.

I remember when
I was first learning.

It gets a lot more fun
the more you do it!

None of this is fun
for any of us.

It's just dumb.
-But you're the ones

who suggested
I throw this party.

We're only here because you guys
were so excited for it.

That's only because we didn't
want to go camping with you.

Oh.

Look, uh,
this was a bad idea.

Sorry I wasted your time.

-That's not what we --
-No, I get it.

I'm gonna make this
easier on all of us.

Let's just
cancel the party.

Well, dance continues
to destroy our family.

What?

How's the party-planning
coming?

I need it to be
a home run

because I still don't have
a gift for your father.

Is a "gift horse"
a real thing?

Or is that just one of those
weird sayings?

The party's off.

It's off?! Why?!

Because Evan
can't cha-cha.

I'm sorry, Mom.
We ruined Dad's 40th.

**

Okay, we haven't
ruined it yet.

His birthday's tomorrow, and
we're not gonna let him down.

We just need to think.
What does your father like?

-His hair?
-Drying his hair?

I got it.
"Legends of the Fall."

It's what started
this whole mess!

Let's watch it!

Sure, there's no mother
character to root for,

but maybe it will give us
some ideas.

Might even
cheer us up!

[ Sad music plays ]
Whoa.

That was
one heavy movie.

Nearly everyone died.

Why would anyone watch this?

It's just a two-hour tragedy

about a family wishing
they had more time together.

Come on, Louis.
Almost there.

Okay. Take off
your blindfold.

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Birds chirping ]

You brought
the Big Sky wilderness

to Orlando.

[ Chuckles ]

This is the best
birthday gift ever.

We realized that
the one thing you love

more than anything
in the world

is spending time
with your family.

Emery: We also took
some inspiration

from that depressing movie
you love.

[ Exhales sharply ]
You watched "Legends"?

For Anthony Hopkins
to go from Hannibal Lecter

to Colonel Ludlow?

The range.

And we're sorry, Dad.

We made your 40th birthday
all about us

when it's supposed to be
about you.

Oh, it's okay.

Maybe I went
a bit overboard.

When you said my next
milestone would be 50,

I realized you boys
will be out of the house.

You'll be gone.

Dad,
no matter where we are,

we'll always come back
to see you.

Thanks, guys.
This is such a thoughtful gift.

-Happy birthday!
-Hey, buddy.

I invited them, too.

Hey!

Jessica got me
that same ax.

Okay, about that.

I stole Marvin's ax
and gave it to you.

I was worried that
the tie I got you

wouldn't be meaningful enough
for this birthday.

Are you kidding?
I love my birthday ties.

They're my favorite accessory
after my hair.

Hey, uh, Marvin, fire pit's
looking a little light.

What do you say
we split some timber?

All right, let's do it,
old man.

Maybe I ought to put on
my steel-toe shoes.

Can't afford to lose
any more toes.

[ Laughs ]
-Come on, boys.

Looks like the book
worked out after all.

What are you
talking about?

The campsite where you guys
are spending the night?

Having us over
to sit by the fire?

Louis' love language
is "Quality Time."

It's in the book.
Oh!

I didn't get that far.

I told you, you should have
told me the ending.

**

-Oh, oh!
-Whoa, no, no, no!

Why do I have to be
up against the sidewall?

It's damp.

Ow!

Emery was right.

What's going on
with your wrists?

They're growing.

-Shh!
-Three...two...one...

midnight.

[ Laughs ] I did it.

I'm 40.

-Yay.
-Happy birthday.

Jessica:
How do you feel?

Like my best days
are ahead of me.

You enjoying tent life?

-It's miserable. I hate camping.
-So do I.

-Same.
-There's no air flow.

Yeah, I thought I'd feel
more like Brad Pitt.

I think us Huangs
are indoor cats.

Should we all
go inside?

-Yes!
-Finally! Oh, my God.

Yeah, bad idea.
[ Unzipping ]

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