All language subtitles for Fresh Off the Boat s05e10 Youve Got A Girlfriend.eng

That's a beautiful
Talavera Spanish tile design, Mommy.

Oh, thank you, Evan.

And that
is a beautiful reproduction

of "A Sunday Afternoon on
the Island of La Grande Jatte."

[ Sighs ] I wish people
still wore top hats.

Oh, me too, Evan.
Me too.

Hi.

So, the birthday party
you two were here for

started at noon.

It's 7:00 p.m.

We're closing.
You need to leave.

But we're not finished --
We're closed.

If you just --
My cat needs to eat.

[ Sighs ] Well,
I guess we'll come back

and finish these mugs later
at a time

that works best for you.

Forgive her.

She doesn't understand
that anything worth doing

is worth taking the time
to do right.

Yes, Evan. See, this is why
you are my star child.

You excel
at everything you do.

Most importantly,
at school.

What can I say?
School is my thing.

I ace everything
they throw at me.

[ School bell rings ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Evan: Uh...

...when is
this assignment due?

-- Captions by VITAC --

* Fresh off the boat

* I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go *

* If you don't know, homey,
now you know *

* Fresh off the boat

* Homey, you don't know
where I come from *

* But I know where I'm goin'

* I'm fresh off the boat

Thank you again, so much,
for inviting me over.

It is so nice
to have some "me" time

while Marvin takes the baby
to his parents' house.

Parents?

How?

Actually, since I have

a few more free
"Honey days,"

does anyone want to go
see a movie tomorrow?

Sorry.
I can't.

I only see one movie
a year,

and I save it
for Denzel or Christmas.

'92 was tough.

"Malcolm X" and "Home Alone 2:
Lost in New York" came out.

I went with "Malcolm X"

because I have been lost
in New York,

and it was horrifying.

I wish I could, but we're
short-staffed at the restaurant.

Hector has shingles again,

so I'm stuck working
the grill all week.

Well, I'm free
for a movie, Honey.

Me, too.

As long as I don't have to
sit next to Evan.

He's always pointing out

when female extras
are not carrying purses.

I can't go anyway.

I have...homework.

You're acting weird.

Why? Because he cares
about his schoolwork?

Leave him alone.

I'm taking an interest
in the boy!

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

Come on, Evan.
Just answer the question.

Sicily isn't gonna
wait around forever.

Women have biological clocks
to think of.

How's that "homework"
going?

What?!
Nothing!

How long have you
been standing there?

Long enough to see what
you've got there, young lover.

Why don't you,
as Grandma says,

"tend to your own
knitting"?

Okay.

But whatever you do,

don't tell Dad
about that note.

He loves love
so much,

he'll try too hard to help
and ruin everything.

Believe me. I don't plan on
telling Dad or Mom about this.

I'm a very private person.

I know. I haven't
seen your chest in years.

So, do you like her?

I don't know.
What does that even mean?

Do I think about her
constantly?

Yes.

Have I named our kids?
Yes.

Does she smell like
a rainstorm?

Of course.

But do I like her?

I don't know.

[ Sighs ]

Don't be upset
you got outvoted, Eddie.

You might like
"You've Got Mail."

Come on. Who doesn't
want to see "The Waterboy"?

[ As Bobby Boucher ] Now, that's
what I call high-quality H2O.

Mwah.

So, you know

who would love
this movie?

Your dad.

[ Normal voice ]
Yeah. He's...

the biggest rom-com fan
in town.

Totally.

It's too bad
he couldn't come with us.

Mm.

Is it?

Oh, thank you.

I didn't know
if you guys knew.

Dad is the worst
with rom-coms.

Every time he sees one,

he quotes it to death
until we all hate it.

Remember what happened
when we saw "Jerry Maguire"?

Show me the Honey!

Show me the Honey!

Show me the Honey!

I'm right here! I don't know
what you want me to do!

Ugh. I'm just glad
we all agree.

Your dad would've totally ruined
"You've Got Mail" for us.

Hey, guys.

Dad? I thought
you had to work.

Oh, a bunch of ladies
escaped the women's prison,

so the whole area's
shut down for the night.

[ Gasps ] Are we seeing
"You've Got Mail"?

Yes!
I'll go get my ticket.

You've got mail.
You've got mail.

You've got mail.
You've got mail.

It's ruined.

Yeah.
It's ruined.

Here are my graded tests
for you to sign, Mommy.

Though you and I
both know

this is merely
a formality.

Ah, yes.

My straight-"A" student.

Tell me --
are the other students jealous?

What do they say?
What do their faces say?

Mm, yes.

That's the same
jealous face I get

when I tell people
my age.

Okay.

"A."

Another "A."

Another "A."

Well, you failed
this one.

What?!

How'd that
get in there?

The correct answer
is "no."

Even "A" students make mistakes
every now and then.

Good thing
I caught this one.

I heard Meg Ryan
didn't own a computer

when she
booked this role.

I got to say,
it showed.

Uh-oh.

Dad stayed
through the credits

to honor the hard work
of the crew

and see if there are
bloopers at the end.

He must have loved it.

Well,
how could he not?

Joe Fox
and his corporate Fox Books

put local shop owner
Kathleen Kelly out of business,

and then
they fall in love

under cloak
of the World Wide Web.

Mistaken identities,
a golden retriever,

New York in autumn --

it's everything he loves
in a rom-com.

He's gonna quote this
till I hate Tom Hanks.

Hey, there he is.

So, what did you think
of the movie?

I hated it.

I see you, Dad.

So, what do you think
is the strongest symbolism

Harper Lee used
in "To Kill a Mockingbird"?

Wow.
There's so much.

But probably
the Gothic details

that contrast with
the small town of Maycomb

to foreshadow the presence
of good and evil.

I hope there's more
where that came from

because
I am listening.

In my own kitchen?

Sicily, is it?

Yes, it's nice to --

Go wait outside.
I'll call you a cab.

I need to speak
with my son.

I told you
you weren't allowed to date.

No, you didn't.

Well, then,
I'm telling you now.

You're not allowed
to date.

But you don't
even know Sicily.

I don't need to.

You are not ready
to date anyone.

You need to focus
on your education.

Girls will only
distract from that,

and then you can
kiss those A's goodbye.

But that's not fair.

Eddie and Emery were allowed to
date when they were my age.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize
you wanted to be

a rapper-tennis-player-
flight-attendant.

And where are those girls now?
Riddle me that.

Well, I don't care
what you say.

I'm gonna
keep seeing her.

Then you leave me
no choice.

You're grounded.

Sicily and I
are in the same class...

and you can't ground me
from school.

Can I just use your phone
to call my dad?

[ School bell rings ]

Evan openly defied me,
Corporal Bryson.

He's never
done that before.

Clearly,
he doesn't understand

that dating
is bad for him.

I get it. I used to
work the drug beat,

and if there's one thing
I've learned,

it's that an addict won't quit
his destructive behavior

until he's hit
rock bottom.

That, and no one with a couch
on their front lawn is innocent.

PDA!

That's against
school rules.

You have to do something
about this.

Isn't that
why you're here?

Actually,
I'm here to investigate

a peeping tom
spying on the children.

From outside
the middle school.

A woman.

Wearing culottes.

Fine.
I'll just do it myself.

Good luck
finding your pervert.

Left. Left.

Left. Right.

Left. Right. Right.

Just throw it away.
I hate it.

Hey, Dad. We're gonna
see another movie

while Honey still has
some baby-free days.

Yeah.
That baby sucks.

[ Laughs ]
I'm just kidding.

Oh, my God. I feel terrible
that I just said that.

I love Maria so much.

You want to
come with us, Pops?

We have to hit
all the movies we can

before Y2K shuts us down and
sends us back to the Dark Ages.

No thanks.

The smell of popcorn
will only remind me

how much I hated
"You've Got Mail."

What is it with you
and that movie?

I don't want to talk
about it.

Come on, Dad.

-Okay, fine.
-Wow, that was super easy.

I hated "You've Got Mail"
because...

...because I'm Fox Books.

A few months after
I opened Cattleman's,

I found out that
I'd inadvertently

put a local mom-and-pop rib shop
out of business.

So, how'd you folks enjoy

your first root'n toot'n meal
at Cattleman's Ranch?

Oh, the best
ribs I've had

since my grandmother's wake
in Dallas.

Plus, your prices are way better
than Mom and Pop's.

Ooh.
What's Mom and Pop's?

**

[ Sobbing ]

Noooooo!

"You've Got Mail" brought

all those memories
flooding back to me.

I'm just like
corporate monster Joe Fox,

driving the beloved neighborhood
proprietor out of business

with my capitalist ways.

Mom and Pop were gone

before I even had a chance
to apologize.

Look what you two did
with your stupid movie.

Mopey Dad is way worse
than Rom-com Dad.

Arthouse Dad is the best

because he laughs
at all the serious parts.

[ School bell rings ]

Hey.

There's
inappropriate touching

happening on
school grounds,

and you need to
stop it.

Oh, God. Okay.
Did you see her face?

Could you describe it
to a sketch artist?

I'm referring to
my son Evan.

I saw him holding hands

with a girl student
on the playground.

I see. Ms. Huang --

Mrs.
I'm married.

Mrs. Huang, the children
are allowed to hold hands.

They're middle schoolers.

It's perfectly innocent.

Oh, they're too young
for that.

They need to be focused
on their education.

I wouldn't worry about that
if I were you.

Evan's grades certainly
aren't suffering because of it.

Now,
if you'll excuse me,

I witnessed a brutal fight
in the cafeteria today,

and I have to go
give a statement.

Louis: She'd recently lost
her mother, Joe.

Why couldn't you just
let her sell her books?

Hey, Dad.

Eddie.
What are you doing here?

The restroom's
only for customers.

That's not fair.

We have a surprise for you.
Come on.

**

Mom? Pop?

You're still alive?

We're in
our early 70s.

I know you're upset
you never got to apologize,

so we tracked them down
for you.

We hope
you're okay with it.

Okay with it?

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Laughter ]

We've lost so much time.

Okay. What have you been up to
the past five years?

Uh, traveling, volunteering,
learning Español?

We've been living with
our daughter in Winter Park.

After we lost
the rib shack,

we moved into her basement
to save money. Yeah.

There's a cumbersome
pool table

and the bathroom
is two flights up,

but we make it work.

The real problem is
that husband of hers -- Rick.

He doesn't want us there,
and he makes it known.

I don't like the way
he speaks to Kimberly.

Well, you try talking to her
about it, then.

[ Whispering ] Uh-oh.
Dad's about to make

a poor decision
based on his emotions.

Why don't you work here?

Really?
Yeah, why not?

I needed to hire a couple
of part-time cooks anyway,

and I'd love to have
two Orlando restaurant legends

working at Cattleman's.

[ Chuckles ]

That sounds fun.

[ Laughs ]
All right!

I can't wait
to get Mom and Pop

back in
the rib-cooking business.

My mouth is watering
already.

[ Laughs ]

My God,
these are terrible.

Are they burnt or raw?

I'm trying to figure out
what animal this is.

I like 'em.

I'm so glad you and me
are in the same class

so we can spend as much time
together as possible.

Me too.
Except it's "you and I."

Whoa. I don't know
what came over me.

It's okay.
You didn't mean to.

Ending a sentence
in a preposition.

[ Gasps ]

I love you.

[ Backpack thuds ]

Okay, students.

Great job on your
"To Kill a Mockingbird" essays.

Another stellar essay, Evan.

The way you contrasted
the snowman Jem built

with the fire
at Miss Maudie's house

was so thought-provoking.

Excellent.

[ Gasps ]

A-minus?!

Hi, Evan.

You were right.

Sicily distracted me.
I dumped her.

If you need me,
I'll be studying.

Ciao, Sicily.

This.
This is what I like to see.

What are you studying,
Evan?

Pre-algebra.
I have a quiz on Friday,

and I've already lost...

...78 minutes of study time
to Sicily.

Oh, shh, shh, shh.
She's gone now.

Let's not even say
her name.

I'm so pleased you've come to
your senses about dating, Evan.

In fact, I've decided to
reward you by un-grounding you.

No, thank you.

I'd like to serve out
the remainder of my sentence

to minimize distractions
from my education.

A self-grounding.

He's come back
even stronger than before.

What am I gonna do?

Like -- Like
when you grow up?

Be a restaurant owner.

I'm confused.

No, Mom and Pop
are terrible cooks.

I have to fire them,
but I'd be putting them

out of business
all over again.

I'd be an even worse Joe Fox
than Joe Fox.

Do you hear yourself?

Honey: Yeah, he's right.
Don't panic.

Everything worked out
for Joe and Kathleen

at the end
of "You've Got Mail."

We just have to do
whatever Joe did to fix it.

Maybe you could offer them
a contract

writing children's books

for your ex-girlfriend's
publishing house.

What is happening?

You people
and this movie.

Dad,
you are not Joe Fox.

I'm not?
No.

Because Mom and Pop
aren't Kathleen Kelly.

Okay.
What do you remember

about the book store
in "You've Got Mail"?

Um, it was warm,
a lot of wood,

Steve Zahn was there.

Kathleen Kelly's store
was awesome,

and Mom and Pop's ribs
suck.

You said you liked them.
They were staring right at me.

Anyways,

it was only a matter of time
before they went under,

whether you opened
Cattleman's or not.

You didn't
put them out of business.

You put them
out of their misery.

You're right, Eddie.

I spent the past five years
beating myself up for nothing.

It's not my fault Mom and Pop's
rib shack went under.

If anything,
I was doing them a favor.

Life isn't
a rom-com, Dad.

Sometimes, old people
just can't cook.

Wow.
Thank you, guys.

I feel so much better.

I'm gonna go tell Mom and Pop
they're fired.

So, good news, bad news.

Good news --
Mom and Pop are gone.

Bad news -- they threatened
to sue me for ageism

unless I kept them
on the payroll

for another six months.

Are you serious?
Extremely.

So, if anyone needs
any non-cooking-related errands

run by two elders,
let me know.

Do you think
they could take me

to Caleb's birthday party
on Saturday?

I can ask.

You know, this was
a nice reminder

that I can't be responsible
for everybody's lives.

I can't save every old couple

living in
their daughter's basement.

And, hey, since this isn't
"You've Got Mail,"

I'm free to love that movie.

I love that movie.

Yay.

Whatever.
That movie was dumb.

Who says what they're typing
out loud?

I got to tell you, Evan,
I am so happy

to have my star child
back at fighting weight.

So, how's pre-algebra?

When you get to the
"two trains leave a destination

at the same time"
question,

it's a trick.

Nobody rides trains.

Can you pass
the blue paint?

Evan.

Evan?

Sicily loved
the color blue.

She said
it reminded her

of her grandparents'
lake house in July.

The sky lit up with fireworks.
George Strait on the radio.

O...kay.

Are you going to finish
your mug there?

I'm done.

Louis. I have to tell
you something.

Evan had
his first girlfriend.

[ Gasps ] Evan had
his first girlfriend?

No, don't be happy
about that.

Evan's too young to date.

I don't know.
Is he?

He's not mature enough
to handle the emotions

that come from
being in a relationship.

Evan's pretty mature.

Last week, he told me I was only
making him eat vegetables

because my father
didn't hug me enough.

And you know what?
I think he was right.

Trust me. You weren't there
to see how heartbroken he was.

He was just staring
at the wall.

And then he dipped his mug
in black paint.

And he had spent
so much time

making sure that
the parasols were to scale.

And, damn it,
they were,

and he was just so sad,

and I just hated
seeing him like that.

And Evan's just not ready
to date!

It, um, kind of
seems like maybe

you're not ready
for Evan to date.

Jessica, this week, I met
a couple named Mom and Pop.

Those old people you drove out
of town with your restaurant?

Yes and no.

Anyway, before
they threatened to sue me...

What?
It's all taken care of.

The point is,
it's no one's fault,

but Mom and Pop's life
has been a living hell,

and they stayed together
through it all.

Life's a lot easier
to handle

with a partner you love
by your side.

I never would have
gotten through

moving to Orlando
without you.

And I never would have
gotten through

that week Hector
gave me shingles without you.

If you want Evan to be
as good at relationships

as he is
at everything else,

you need to
let him practice.

[ Sighs ]

I have to make this right.

If I have ice cream,
do you think

I have to brush
my teeth again?

I'm excited to pick up our mugs
from the kiln.

Yours should be...

moody.

Mm-hmm.

[ Sighs ]

Evan, I want to
apologize to you

for being so strict
about dating.

You have nothing
to apologize for, Mommy.

You tried to warn me that
dating would affect my grades,

and you were right.

Well,
that's the thing.

You didn't actually
get an A-minus

on your English essay.

You got an "A."

I went into the school,
and I changed the grade

so you would think
Sicily distracted you

and break up with her.

[ Sighs ]

Say that again now?

I went into your school
and --

I heard you
the first time!

How could you
do that to me?

I loved her.

Oh, Evan,
I'm so sorry.

I had no idea
you would be so upset.

I think it's hard for me
to accept

that you're growing up.

You're my youngest,

and I want to shield you
from all the pain

that comes
from being an adult.

But there's a lot of joy
that comes with it, too,

and I never want to
shield you from that.

It kind of
seems like maybe

you weren't ready
for me to date.

You're so mature.

Aren't you coming?
No, I'm not.

I'll come get you
in a couple hours.

Sicily
is waiting for you.

Thank you, Mommy.

And...I forgive you.

You do?
You're my mom, and you should know

that no matter
how old I get,

I'll always
be your little boy.

[ Car door closes ]

I'm watching you.

[ Whale cries ]

You've got whale.

Woman on TV:
Before steaming or sautéing, simply oil up your fingers...

You've got kale.

...olive oil, and massage away.

[ Announcer speaking
indistinctly ] [ Car engines revving ]

You've got Dale.

[ Sighs ]

Help! I've fallen,
and I can't get up!

Oh.

You've got frail.

[ Scoffs ]

Mail's here.

Are you kidding me?

No.
Evan has it.

[ Sighs ]

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