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1
00:00:04,351 --> 00:00:05,914
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
2
00:00:05,999 --> 00:00:10,802
Forgive me if this comes off as rude,
but who the hell are you?
3
00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:13,255
I'm Kyle. I go to school with Shannon.
4
00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:14,506
Did you sleep here?
5
00:00:14,558 --> 00:00:16,675
Yeah. Want some eggs?
6
00:00:19,055 --> 00:00:21,680
Hey, babe, I was thinking...
7
00:00:24,184 --> 00:00:26,518
What is that?
8
00:00:26,603 --> 00:00:29,404
That is a Kyle. It spent the night.
9
00:00:31,492 --> 00:00:33,859
It spent the night?
10
00:00:34,639 --> 00:00:36,194
Want some eggs?
11
00:00:36,246 --> 00:00:39,364
Nobody wants your runny-ass eggs, man.
12
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,259
Morning. Oh, hey, Kyle.
13
00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:44,536
What are you still doing here?
14
00:00:44,621 --> 00:00:45,954
Thought you left.
15
00:00:46,039 --> 00:00:48,507
- I got hungry. I made you some eggs.
- Aw.
16
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:50,842
I'll see you at school tomorrow.
17
00:00:51,310 --> 00:00:54,179
- Bye.
- Bye.
18
00:00:54,214 --> 00:00:56,097
How cute is he?!
19
00:00:58,552 --> 00:01:00,218
He made me eggs! He made me eggs!
20
00:01:00,304 --> 00:01:02,020
He made me eggs!
21
00:01:03,273 --> 00:01:05,223
I don't care how cute he is...
22
00:01:05,275 --> 00:01:08,226
and the boy is cute...
she cannot have guys sleep over.
23
00:01:08,278 --> 00:01:10,862
I know, but I can't just tell her that.
24
00:01:10,898 --> 00:01:12,447
- Why not?
- For one,
25
00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:15,567
when I was her age,
I had guys sleep over
26
00:01:15,652 --> 00:01:18,453
all... occasionally.
27
00:01:20,157 --> 00:01:21,540
The problem is
28
00:01:21,575 --> 00:01:23,792
I can't tell Shannon what to do
because I'm her sister,
29
00:01:23,827 --> 00:01:25,460
not her mom.
30
00:01:25,546 --> 00:01:27,295
But your sister is living with us,
31
00:01:27,381 --> 00:01:30,298
and if she's gonna stay here,
she has to play by our rules.
32
00:01:30,384 --> 00:01:32,363
Yeah, but she doesn't have to stay here.
33
00:01:32,398 --> 00:01:33,251
If we're too strict with her,
34
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she might move out and go back
to my dad's or God knows where.
35
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- Which we...
- Don't want.
36
00:01:38,842 --> 00:01:41,092
Don't want.
37
00:01:41,178 --> 00:01:42,727
But we do have to talk to her.
38
00:01:42,763 --> 00:01:44,174
Absolutely.
39
00:01:44,598 --> 00:01:47,649
But look on the bright side:
after living with my sister,
40
00:01:47,734 --> 00:01:49,818
our kids are gonna seem like a breeze.
41
00:01:49,903 --> 00:01:52,404
Our kids?
We can barely deal with Shannon.
42
00:01:52,439 --> 00:01:54,489
Th-There's no way I can
imagine kids of our own.
43
00:01:54,575 --> 00:01:55,774
Okay, Nick, I got it.
44
00:01:55,859 --> 00:01:57,576
I'm just saying. Look,
45
00:01:57,611 --> 00:01:59,494
we'll have kids in a few years. Right?
46
00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:00,662
After Shannon goes to college,
47
00:02:00,747 --> 00:02:03,498
or... jail.
48
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:05,116
Besides,
49
00:02:05,202 --> 00:02:09,287
I am too young for this
to turn into a dad bod.
50
00:02:10,593 --> 00:02:13,758
Yeah, because your body is
the one that will take the hit.
51
00:02:23,637 --> 00:02:25,720
This is a sensitive conversation, Nick,
52
00:02:25,806 --> 00:02:27,472
so just let me handle it.
53
00:02:27,524 --> 00:02:30,225
Clem, she's your sister;
there's no way I'm getting involved.
54
00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:33,445
I'm gonna nod silently and
agree with everything you say.
55
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,646
Perfect.
56
00:02:34,731 --> 00:02:36,565
Shannon?
57
00:02:37,494 --> 00:02:40,652
- 'Sup?
- You cannot have guys sleep over here!
58
00:02:42,122 --> 00:02:43,572
Nick!
59
00:02:43,657 --> 00:02:46,491
And the silent nodding starts now.
60
00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:50,462
Look, I know Nick can be
a little old-fashioned,
61
00:02:50,497 --> 00:02:51,830
but I agree with him.
62
00:02:51,882 --> 00:02:53,632
I'm not happy that
Kyle slept over either.
63
00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:57,135
Oh, my God! We didn't even do anything.
64
00:02:57,170 --> 00:02:59,054
He got drunk and passed out,
65
00:02:59,139 --> 00:03:01,673
so I bought a bunch of stuff
on his Amazon account.
66
00:03:01,725 --> 00:03:04,092
I got you guys a new spatula.
67
00:03:05,331 --> 00:03:06,177
Happy?
68
00:03:06,263 --> 00:03:09,097
- Not even a little bit.
- I mean, we did need a new spatula.
69
00:03:09,182 --> 00:03:12,183
Look, Kyle isn't just some rando.
70
00:03:12,269 --> 00:03:13,685
I actually really like this guy.
71
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:17,188
He was the first person to be
nice to me at my new school.
72
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,274
Plus, he's handsome, he's good-looking,
73
00:03:19,359 --> 00:03:22,193
and he's, like, really hot.
74
00:03:23,793 --> 00:03:25,890
Look, Shannon, I worry about you.
75
00:03:25,925 --> 00:03:28,759
And having guys sleep over,
it's just asking for trouble.
76
00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:31,119
When my mom had me,
she was way too young,
77
00:03:31,204 --> 00:03:32,704
and it ruined her life.
78
00:03:32,756 --> 00:03:35,340
- What makes you think that?
- She told me.
79
00:03:37,044 --> 00:03:39,461
Well, look,
I'm not gonna get pregnant, okay?
80
00:03:39,546 --> 00:03:41,129
I'm not an idiot.
81
00:03:41,214 --> 00:03:45,433
Would an idiot be getting
almost a "C" in Algebra?
82
00:03:45,519 --> 00:03:48,269
What do you mean "almost"?
You're getting a "D" in Algebra?
83
00:03:48,355 --> 00:03:49,721
Almost.
84
00:03:51,358 --> 00:03:53,558
I'm sorry, but it feels like
you guys are having a problem
85
00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:55,226
with everything I do since I moved in.
86
00:03:55,312 --> 00:03:56,811
That's not true.
87
00:03:56,897 --> 00:03:59,064
I found my favorite eyeliner
in your underwear drawer,
88
00:03:59,149 --> 00:04:00,565
and I didn't say a thing.
89
00:04:00,651 --> 00:04:02,150
You were looking through my drawers?
90
00:04:02,235 --> 00:04:03,284
What? No.
91
00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:05,620
No, that would be... No.
92
00:04:05,706 --> 00:04:07,826
I was putting away your laundry.
93
00:04:07,861 --> 00:04:09,157
Yeah, you don't put away my laundry.
94
00:04:09,242 --> 00:04:10,408
You leave it on the floor,
95
00:04:10,494 --> 00:04:13,161
hoping I'll get the message,
but I never do.
96
00:04:13,246 --> 00:04:17,248
Look, I really appreciate you guys
letting me live here. I do.
97
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:20,051
But I also need my privacy.
98
00:04:20,087 --> 00:04:22,220
And I don't think that's
such an insane request.
99
00:04:22,836 --> 00:04:25,006
Fine. You want privacy?
100
00:04:25,092 --> 00:04:27,726
You promise no more guys sleeping over,
101
00:04:27,761 --> 00:04:31,229
I'll promise no more snooping. Deal?
102
00:04:31,264 --> 00:04:34,733
Fine. You got yourself a deal.
103
00:04:36,770 --> 00:04:39,320
Oh, my God, no.
Dude, of course no one's seen it.
104
00:04:39,406 --> 00:04:40,605
Yeah, it's in my room.
105
00:04:40,657 --> 00:04:42,107
Oh, it's in my drawer.
106
00:04:42,159 --> 00:04:43,241
What's in her drawer?
107
00:04:43,276 --> 00:04:45,443
Oh. Hi.
108
00:04:45,495 --> 00:04:47,445
Hi.
109
00:04:47,531 --> 00:04:49,164
Thought you guys went to work.
110
00:04:49,249 --> 00:04:51,282
- Still here.
- Not yet.
111
00:04:52,812 --> 00:04:55,170
Okay. Well...
112
00:04:55,288 --> 00:04:57,172
I'm gonna go to school. Bye.
113
00:04:57,257 --> 00:04:59,374
Have a good day.
114
00:04:59,459 --> 00:05:01,376
Oh, my God, you have no idea...
115
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,930
Don't do it, Clem.
116
00:05:05,966 --> 00:05:07,432
Do what, Nick?
117
00:05:07,467 --> 00:05:08,717
Snoop in her room.
118
00:05:09,229 --> 00:05:11,150
Look, the way I was raised,
when you make a deal,
119
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:12,053
you stick by it.
120
00:05:12,139 --> 00:05:13,438
So if you want Shannon to respect
121
00:05:13,473 --> 00:05:15,140
the rules,
you have to respect them, too.
122
00:05:15,784 --> 00:05:17,976
Why do you have to be so damn ethical?
123
00:05:18,061 --> 00:05:20,028
Oh, come on,
you know it gets you all hot
124
00:05:20,113 --> 00:05:21,896
when your boy's all ethical.
125
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,533
You're right, it kind of does.
126
00:05:25,152 --> 00:05:27,702
- See you tonight.
- Okay.
127
00:05:36,079 --> 00:05:38,496
- Ah, don't do it.
- What?
128
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,081
I wasn't.
129
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,840
You hid a pregnancy test in
your room to catch her snooping?
130
00:05:47,875 --> 00:05:48,723
Yup.
131
00:05:49,284 --> 00:05:51,476
And the best part is,
when Clem finds it,
132
00:05:51,511 --> 00:05:53,261
it'll prove she broke our deal,
133
00:05:53,346 --> 00:05:58,016
which means I can have Kyle
sleep over anytime I want.
134
00:05:58,101 --> 00:06:00,985
So wait, how'd you get
a positive pregnancy test?
135
00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:02,854
Mm. Okay,
so first thing I did was I asked
136
00:06:02,906 --> 00:06:04,856
this pregnant girl in my homeroom,
right, for some pee...
137
00:06:04,908 --> 00:06:07,692
- Mm-hmm.
- ...but she was like, "Go away."
138
00:06:07,778 --> 00:06:09,577
Rude.
139
00:06:09,663 --> 00:06:11,079
- So then I googled it...
- Yeah.
140
00:06:11,164 --> 00:06:12,363
...and, what do you know,
141
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:16,034
pouring Coke on a pregnancy
test turns it positive.
142
00:06:16,482 --> 00:06:18,369
And you're sure
your sister's gonna find it?
143
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:21,456
After the phone call I faked
this morning, definitely.
144
00:06:21,541 --> 00:06:23,374
This is such a great idea.
145
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:25,210
I might pull it on my stupid stepmom.
146
00:06:25,262 --> 00:06:27,428
Dude, dude, you should get
two positive pregnancy tests
147
00:06:27,514 --> 00:06:29,013
- for her to find...
- Yeah.
148
00:06:29,049 --> 00:06:32,433
...and then she'll think
you're having twins.
149
00:06:35,222 --> 00:06:37,305
Oh, dear God.
150
00:06:42,395 --> 00:06:44,028
Okay.
151
00:06:46,066 --> 00:06:48,533
Come on, Shannon.
152
00:06:57,577 --> 00:06:59,210
Oh, God, no.
153
00:07:02,082 --> 00:07:05,416
Please don't be a plus.
Please don't be a plus.
154
00:07:05,502 --> 00:07:08,553
Please don't be a plus.
155
00:07:15,721 --> 00:07:16,756
Hey, sweetie.
156
00:07:16,841 --> 00:07:18,841
Ben, thank you so much for coming.
157
00:07:18,927 --> 00:07:21,594
Nick is teaching,
and I didn't know who else to call.
158
00:07:21,679 --> 00:07:24,180
Well, it better be important.
I had to get another instructor
159
00:07:24,265 --> 00:07:26,682
to cover my SoulCycle class for this.
160
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,185
Do you have any idea how
upset people are gonna be
161
00:07:29,254 --> 00:07:32,455
when they walk in and see Michelle?
162
00:07:33,451 --> 00:07:34,724
What's wrong with Michelle?
163
00:07:34,793 --> 00:07:36,359
Everything!
164
00:07:37,495 --> 00:07:38,995
So what's going on?
165
00:07:40,484 --> 00:07:41,864
My sister is pregnant.
166
00:07:42,874 --> 00:07:44,083
What?
167
00:07:44,169 --> 00:07:46,452
Shannon is pregnant.
168
00:07:46,538 --> 00:07:49,839
Girl, I am shocked.
169
00:07:49,874 --> 00:07:53,126
No, I'm not. No, it's actually
an incredibly easy buy.
170
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:54,544
Wait, when did she tell you?
171
00:07:54,629 --> 00:07:56,379
She didn't.
I was snooping in her room...
172
00:07:56,464 --> 00:07:59,077
even though I made a deal
with her that I wouldn't...
173
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,967
and I found the pregnancy
test in one of her drawers,
174
00:08:01,052 --> 00:08:02,635
and now I don't know what to do.
175
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,887
You know, this whole thing reminds me
176
00:08:04,939 --> 00:08:07,056
of when my parents found out I was gay.
177
00:08:08,309 --> 00:08:10,109
Mom was hanging clothes in my closet
178
00:08:10,195 --> 00:08:14,564
and found a DVD of
Hung Jury: 12 Man-gry Men.
179
00:08:14,616 --> 00:08:16,732
And then they told you that they knew?
180
00:08:16,818 --> 00:08:19,203
Are you kidding?
My parents were amazing.
181
00:08:19,238 --> 00:08:21,286
They didn't say a thing.
They just went out of their way
182
00:08:21,321 --> 00:08:23,289
to let me know that they were
there for me, no matter what.
183
00:08:23,374 --> 00:08:24,457
No judgment.
184
00:08:24,542 --> 00:08:26,742
So you're saying that's what I should do
185
00:08:26,795 --> 00:08:28,911
so that Shannon will tell
me about the pregnancy?
186
00:08:28,963 --> 00:08:33,082
Actually, I was just telling
a story about myself.
187
00:08:33,134 --> 00:08:36,803
All right, so I am going to
make sure that Shannon knows
188
00:08:36,888 --> 00:08:39,755
that I'm there for her,
and then wait for her to come to me.
189
00:08:39,808 --> 00:08:41,557
Exactly, and before you know it,
190
00:08:41,593 --> 00:08:43,843
she'll be pulling the pregnancy
test out of that drawer, and...
191
00:08:43,928 --> 00:08:45,645
- Oh, God.
- What?
192
00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:47,763
After I found it,
193
00:08:47,816 --> 00:08:49,649
I was walking around
my apartment in a daze,
194
00:08:49,734 --> 00:08:52,268
and I think I may have left it
on the kitchen counter,
195
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:55,321
so I need to go home right
now before she comes home
196
00:08:55,406 --> 00:08:57,440
- and finds it.
- Oh. Okay.
197
00:08:57,525 --> 00:09:00,026
So glad we didn't just
do this over the phone.
198
00:09:00,111 --> 00:09:01,444
I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you.
199
00:09:01,496 --> 00:09:02,662
- Bye. Mwah.
- Love you.
200
00:09:24,802 --> 00:09:27,053
Oh, my God.
201
00:09:34,718 --> 00:09:35,711
Yeah.
202
00:09:40,902 --> 00:09:41,901
Hey, son.
203
00:09:41,986 --> 00:09:43,486
What you doing here?
204
00:09:43,538 --> 00:09:46,322
I, uh, I have some big news.
205
00:09:46,374 --> 00:09:47,657
You're finally gonna shave that beard
206
00:09:47,709 --> 00:09:49,709
that makes you look like
that genie from Aladdin?
207
00:09:49,794 --> 00:09:51,711
Oh, Walt.
208
00:09:51,796 --> 00:09:53,462
What's going on, honey?
209
00:09:53,498 --> 00:09:56,249
Guys... Clem's pregnant.
210
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:59,385
Yes!
211
00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:00,620
Yes, yes!
212
00:10:00,805 --> 00:10:02,638
Yes, yes!
213
00:10:03,305 --> 00:10:05,808
I'm gonna be a grandma!
214
00:10:05,843 --> 00:10:07,393
I'm happy for you, too, son.
215
00:10:07,478 --> 00:10:10,763
I'm just showing it in a
less absolutely insane way.
216
00:10:10,848 --> 00:10:13,182
So, come on, sit, sit, come on, sit.
217
00:10:13,234 --> 00:10:15,818
So, how did Clem tell you?
218
00:10:15,853 --> 00:10:17,570
That's the thing; she hasn't.
219
00:10:17,655 --> 00:10:19,522
She left the pregnancy
test on the kitchen counter
220
00:10:19,574 --> 00:10:22,358
for me to find because I-I
think she's afraid to tell me.
221
00:10:22,410 --> 00:10:24,860
Why would she be afraid to tell you
that she's gonna have a b...
222
00:10:24,913 --> 00:10:27,830
Baby!
223
00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:32,585
I actually think she was
trying to tell me yesterday
224
00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:35,121
by bringing up us having kids,
225
00:10:35,206 --> 00:10:38,708
but she stopped because
I made her feel like I wasn't ready,
226
00:10:38,793 --> 00:10:41,344
- because I'm not.
- Shut your mouth!
227
00:10:43,631 --> 00:10:49,385
I mean, let's discuss
why is it that you feel this way.
228
00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:52,188
I don't know. You know?
229
00:10:52,223 --> 00:10:53,556
The plan was to wait a few years.
230
00:10:53,641 --> 00:10:54,774
And this is all happening so fast.
231
00:10:54,859 --> 00:10:57,360
I mean, I just signed up
for a softball league.
232
00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:59,612
Am I gonna be able to do that?
233
00:10:59,697 --> 00:11:01,781
Trust me, when it comes to having kids,
234
00:11:01,866 --> 00:11:03,783
no one is ever truly ready.
235
00:11:03,868 --> 00:11:05,785
And then your baby is born,
236
00:11:05,870 --> 00:11:08,454
and you see that perfect little face,
237
00:11:08,539 --> 00:11:10,623
and it just fills your heart with joy.
238
00:11:10,708 --> 00:11:13,075
And that feeling never goes away.
239
00:11:13,161 --> 00:11:14,877
And then they grow up.
240
00:11:16,547 --> 00:11:19,081
And cover that face with a weird beard.
241
00:11:20,752 --> 00:11:24,804
Sweetheart,
you are ready to have this baby.
242
00:11:25,505 --> 00:11:26,305
You really think so?
243
00:11:26,391 --> 00:11:27,590
Are you kidding?
244
00:11:27,642 --> 00:11:29,675
You are gonna be a fantastic father.
245
00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:32,561
Absolutely.
246
00:11:32,597 --> 00:11:34,897
You know what, maybe I can do this.
247
00:11:35,949 --> 00:11:37,600
I do have a lot of knowledge to pass on.
248
00:11:37,652 --> 00:11:40,152
Plus, it'd be nice
to have a little wingman.
249
00:11:41,773 --> 00:11:43,439
'Cause I'm starting to get
a lot of weird looks
250
00:11:43,524 --> 00:11:45,775
when I go to Pixar movies alone.
251
00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:50,863
- Oh, it's Clem.
- Oh.
252
00:11:50,948 --> 00:11:52,698
- She wants to talk.
- Mm-hmm.
253
00:11:52,784 --> 00:11:54,617
You know what,
I'm gonna go home and let her know
254
00:11:54,702 --> 00:11:56,285
that she has nothing to worry about.
255
00:11:56,337 --> 00:11:57,837
I am ready to be a father.
256
00:11:57,922 --> 00:11:58,921
Mm.
257
00:11:58,956 --> 00:12:00,122
Thanks, guys.
258
00:12:00,174 --> 00:12:01,207
- Yeah.
- Ooh.
259
00:12:01,292 --> 00:12:02,758
And I'm ready, too.
260
00:12:02,794 --> 00:12:05,511
I've got a whole closet
full of baby clothes,
261
00:12:05,596 --> 00:12:07,680
folded and ready to go.
262
00:12:08,643 --> 00:12:10,299
Mom, you already bought baby clothes?
263
00:12:10,385 --> 00:12:13,135
And pacifiers and a diaper
genie and a high chair.
264
00:12:13,187 --> 00:12:15,354
That is not true, Walt.
265
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,859
Actually, the high chair is still
in my Buy Buy Baby cart.
266
00:12:19,944 --> 00:12:24,980
But with one click,
your baby can be sitting high!
267
00:12:25,033 --> 00:12:27,316
- Mwah.
- All right.
268
00:12:30,055 --> 00:12:34,653
No judgment. No judgment.
269
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:35,937
Hey, Clem.
270
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:38,189
There's my favorite sister!
271
00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:41,860
Okay.
272
00:12:41,945 --> 00:12:43,111
Come in. Sit down.
273
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:46,448
Put your feet up. Do you want a snack?
I can get you a snack.
274
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,283
Why are you being so nice to me?
275
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,836
Because I care about you.
276
00:12:51,922 --> 00:12:55,790
And I support you no matter what.
277
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:58,176
Thanks, Clem. That's real sweet.
278
00:12:58,261 --> 00:13:01,963
You know what's sweet?
Fresh-baked cookies.
279
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,351
Nah, my stomach's blecch.
280
00:13:06,436 --> 00:13:07,469
Really?
281
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:08,687
Must have been something I ate.
282
00:13:08,772 --> 00:13:11,856
Or maybe it was something else.
283
00:13:11,942 --> 00:13:14,476
Like what?
What else could it possibly be?
284
00:13:15,659 --> 00:13:17,862
I don't know. Maybe you're...
285
00:13:17,948 --> 00:13:20,315
Maybe I'm what? What am I, Clem?
286
00:13:20,964 --> 00:13:22,367
It doesn't matter.
287
00:13:22,452 --> 00:13:25,620
But whatever it is, you can tell me.
288
00:13:25,656 --> 00:13:27,822
Oh, God. Oh, no.
289
00:13:28,798 --> 00:13:30,158
No, I'm gonna puke!
290
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,127
Shannon? Shannon?
291
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:38,166
Hey, Shannon, are you okay in there?
292
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,417
Oh, I'm fine.
293
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,589
Just give me a minute.
294
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:49,978
- Oh.
- Hey, babe.
295
00:13:50,013 --> 00:13:52,564
Good, you're home. We need to talk.
296
00:13:52,649 --> 00:13:54,015
I know what you want to talk about.
297
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,016
You do?
298
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,518
I found the pregnancy test,
299
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:58,737
and-and sure, like, this might
be happening a little early...
300
00:13:58,822 --> 00:14:01,740
A little? This is a disaster.
301
00:14:01,825 --> 00:14:03,858
And that's what I thought at first,
too, but now...
302
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,610
now I'm really, really happy.
303
00:14:05,696 --> 00:14:07,362
How could you be happy?
304
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:10,331
We don't even know who the father is.
305
00:14:13,203 --> 00:14:16,004
We don't know who the father is?
306
00:14:17,541 --> 00:14:20,008
Yeah. I mean, it could be Kyle.
307
00:14:20,043 --> 00:14:22,711
How could it be Kyle?!
308
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:25,597
I don't know, Nick. It could be anyone.
309
00:14:25,682 --> 00:14:27,716
Excuse me?
310
00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:29,884
Why are you so surprised?
311
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,553
Because I assumed that
I was the only person
312
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,438
you were having sex with!
313
00:14:34,188 --> 00:14:36,274
What?
314
00:14:36,359 --> 00:14:37,467
No.
315
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,897
I mean yes.
316
00:14:43,894 --> 00:14:44,866
Yes.
317
00:14:44,901 --> 00:14:46,868
No, sweetie.
318
00:14:46,903 --> 00:14:48,987
Sweetie, I'm not pregnant.
319
00:14:49,072 --> 00:14:50,622
Shannon is pregnant.
320
00:14:51,463 --> 00:14:52,874
So, wait, you're not pregnant?
321
00:14:54,244 --> 00:14:56,911
Damn.
322
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:59,914
Wait, Shannon's pregnant? Damn!
323
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,834
Yeah, but she doesn't know that I know.
324
00:15:02,919 --> 00:15:05,086
Oh, yes, I do.
325
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:09,007
'Cause you snooped, you narc.
326
00:15:09,092 --> 00:15:12,260
Who cares that I snooped?
You're pregnant.
327
00:15:15,309 --> 00:15:17,565
Oh, my God, you're not pregnant.
328
00:15:17,601 --> 00:15:19,901
No!
329
00:15:19,936 --> 00:15:23,688
That test was a fake to prove
you were snooping.
330
00:15:25,075 --> 00:15:26,491
Damn it, Shannon,
331
00:15:26,576 --> 00:15:29,110
I am so angry and so relieved,
332
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:33,581
and so mad and so happy
all at the same time!
333
00:15:33,617 --> 00:15:36,618
I'm texting Kyle,
because according to our deal,
334
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:38,419
I get to have him sleep over.
335
00:15:39,194 --> 00:15:40,922
The eggplant emoji?
336
00:15:40,957 --> 00:15:43,374
That's right.
337
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:45,960
I have no idea what that means,
young lady,
338
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:48,379
but that little punk
is not sleeping over,
339
00:15:48,465 --> 00:15:50,715
as gorgeous as he is.
340
00:15:50,801 --> 00:15:53,718
Yeah, I'm sorry, but we had a deal.
341
00:15:53,804 --> 00:15:55,470
And once you send the eggplant emoji,
342
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,722
there's, like, no turning back.
343
00:15:58,429 --> 00:16:00,608
Yeah, well, screw the deal.
344
00:16:00,644 --> 00:16:02,110
This is our house.
345
00:16:02,145 --> 00:16:03,728
And, yes,
you can leave whenever you want,
346
00:16:03,814 --> 00:16:05,613
but as long as you're
here under this roof,
347
00:16:05,649 --> 00:16:06,948
what we say goes.
348
00:16:09,619 --> 00:16:11,035
Hypocrites.
349
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:17,826
Babe, I just, I have one question.
350
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:21,045
Yes, the eggplant is a penis.
351
00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:28,503
Well, then that means I've been
flirting with my vegan coworker Steven.
352
00:16:36,885 --> 00:16:37,846
Shannon?
353
00:16:42,819 --> 00:16:45,603
Can you take your headphones
off so that you can hear me?
354
00:16:45,689 --> 00:16:49,440
Sorry, I can't hear you.
I'm wearing headphones.
355
00:16:49,526 --> 00:16:50,859
Shannon.
356
00:16:53,029 --> 00:16:54,412
What?
357
00:16:54,497 --> 00:16:56,781
I'm sorry that I broke the deal. Okay?
358
00:16:56,867 --> 00:16:59,701
But I never should have
made it in the first place.
359
00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:01,169
I'm new to this whole parenting thing,
360
00:17:01,204 --> 00:17:02,837
and I don't really know what I'm doing.
361
00:17:02,873 --> 00:17:05,757
But all I know is that
I'm responsible for you.
362
00:17:05,842 --> 00:17:07,542
Yeah, and it's driving me crazy.
363
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,460
Maybe I should just
move back in with Dad,
364
00:17:09,546 --> 00:17:11,713
and go back to my old school,
where the pregnant girls are nice
365
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:14,299
and share their pee.
366
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,018
You just want to go back to Dad's
367
00:17:17,053 --> 00:17:18,887
because he lets you
do whatever you want.
368
00:17:18,939 --> 00:17:21,222
Hey, now you're catching on.
369
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,858
Well, that's not me.
370
00:17:23,894 --> 00:17:25,193
And while you're here,
371
00:17:25,228 --> 00:17:27,028
you don't get to do whatever you want.
372
00:17:27,063 --> 00:17:28,980
Because I'm watching out
for you, Shannon,
373
00:17:29,065 --> 00:17:31,733
which is something that Dad
never did for either of us.
374
00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:34,202
Yeah, well, maybe that's what I want.
375
00:17:34,237 --> 00:17:36,204
Maybe it is.
376
00:17:36,239 --> 00:17:38,373
But just know that...
377
00:17:38,408 --> 00:17:40,325
Dad wasn't good at saying this to us,
378
00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:43,077
but... I love you.
379
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,879
I do.
380
00:17:44,915 --> 00:17:46,714
A lot.
381
00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:50,585
So just think about that
before you decide to go.
382
00:18:03,329 --> 00:18:05,316
So, how'd it go?
383
00:18:05,402 --> 00:18:06,768
Terrible.
384
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,570
I think she's gonna go back to my Dad's.
385
00:18:09,606 --> 00:18:10,939
Sorry, babe.
386
00:18:10,991 --> 00:18:12,824
Yeah, me, too.
387
00:18:12,909 --> 00:18:15,860
But, hey, you should be happy
that we're not having a kid
388
00:18:15,946 --> 00:18:18,529
because I completely suck at this.
389
00:18:19,616 --> 00:18:20,865
How dare you?!
390
00:18:20,951 --> 00:18:22,116
What? What did I do?
391
00:18:22,168 --> 00:18:24,752
You just had to pull out
the big guns, didn't you?
392
00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:27,288
Telling me you love me.
393
00:18:28,604 --> 00:18:30,508
You're sick, you know that?
394
00:18:30,593 --> 00:18:32,176
Sick!
395
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,796
So you're staying?
396
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,464
Like I have a choice now.
397
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:39,050
"I love you." Who says these things?!
398
00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:41,135
I do.
399
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,104
I do, too.
400
00:18:44,314 --> 00:18:45,390
Okay, whatever.
401
00:19:01,992 --> 00:19:04,709
Wait, am I good at this?
402
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,328
Am I, like, really good at this?
403
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,330
Girl, you are fantastic!
404
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,504
Hey, I'm here to see Shannon.
405
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,089
Sorry, man, not happening.
406
00:19:18,174 --> 00:19:20,008
Bro, I don't think you understand, okay?
407
00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:22,010
She sent me the eggplant emoji.
408
00:19:22,062 --> 00:19:24,512
It's basically the Bat-Signal.
409
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,097
If you don't leave right now,
410
00:19:26,182 --> 00:19:28,149
I'm gonna send you the
cut-up cucumber emoji.
411
00:19:28,184 --> 00:19:30,151
Buh-bye.
412
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:37,408
That was awesome.
413
00:19:37,494 --> 00:19:39,527
I cannot wait to make a baby with you.
414
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:40,745
Mm.
415
00:19:40,830 --> 00:19:43,247
But not for, like,
five to seven years, right?
416
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:44,532
- Minimum.
- Mm.
417
00:19:49,258 --> 00:19:50,707
Okay, so let me get this straight.
418
00:19:50,792 --> 00:19:53,653
You're telling me that
no one is pregnant.
419
00:19:53,688 --> 00:19:56,148
Nope. Just Kimmie from my homeroom.
420
00:19:57,677 --> 00:20:00,221
But no one in this room is,
if that's what you're asking.
421
00:20:00,893 --> 00:20:03,792
So, sweetheart,
gonna bring out that apple pie?
422
00:20:03,825 --> 00:20:05,361
Oh, that is why we are here.
423
00:20:05,393 --> 00:20:06,961
It's my favorite thing that she makes.
424
00:20:06,996 --> 00:20:09,632
Oh, really? No pie for you.
425
00:20:11,499 --> 00:20:12,834
But I was looking forward to that.
426
00:20:12,867 --> 00:20:14,937
Oh, did you get your hopes
up for something,
427
00:20:14,969 --> 00:20:17,472
just to have them cruelly dashed?
428
00:20:17,506 --> 00:20:19,240
Cause I did!
429
00:20:20,412 --> 00:20:21,209
Excuse me.
430
00:20:22,611 --> 00:20:25,078
- Mom, are you serious?
- I'm serious!
431
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,818
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30715
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