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00:00:00,371 --> 00:00:02,404
Previously
on Another Period...
2
00:00:02,406 --> 00:00:04,173
Hamish learned
Chair was having an affair
3
00:00:04,175 --> 00:00:06,241
with the commodore
and decided to blackmail her.
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00:00:06,243 --> 00:00:07,676
Lillian slept with Hamish,
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00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:09,311
hoping she would get
some attention,
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00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,346
but when all of
the Bellacourt family's secrets
7
00:00:11,348 --> 00:00:14,116
appeared in the newspaper
and a reporter wound up dead,
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00:00:14,118 --> 00:00:15,818
Chair framed Hamish
for the murder.
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00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:17,419
Confused?
10
00:00:17,421 --> 00:00:20,569
You won't be
after this episode of Another Period.
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00:00:21,892 --> 00:00:23,625
Sounds like someone's got
12
00:00:23,627 --> 00:00:25,227
a case of the Mondays.
13
00:00:25,229 --> 00:00:26,761
Oh, buddy,
do you really want to spend
14
00:00:26,763 --> 00:00:28,263
what could be
your last moments
15
00:00:28,265 --> 00:00:29,998
just pacing around in worry?
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,100
You got to enjoy
the little things,
17
00:00:32,102 --> 00:00:33,902
like sunlight
18
00:00:33,904 --> 00:00:37,105
or sitting on the very bucket
you're pooping in.
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00:00:37,107 --> 00:00:38,673
Hamish!
20
00:00:38,675 --> 00:00:40,342
You've got a visitor.
21
00:00:41,812 --> 00:00:45,046
Now, keep it
to deep kissing only.
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00:00:45,048 --> 00:00:46,948
We're not lovers!
23
00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:48,683
He's my brother.
24
00:00:50,654 --> 00:00:54,222
Deep kissing only.
25
00:00:56,326 --> 00:00:57,959
What's the matter with you?
26
00:00:57,961 --> 00:00:59,828
You cannot tell anybody
that we're brothers.
27
00:00:59,830 --> 00:01:02,697
I don't care about keeping
your little secrets anymore.
28
00:01:02,699 --> 00:01:05,033
I die at sunset.
29
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,341
I'm scared too.
30
00:01:13,343 --> 00:01:16,778
Remember when we were younger,
we used to play that game?
31
00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:20,348
Lighting Daddy's warehouse
on fire for insurance money?
32
00:01:20,350 --> 00:01:22,350
No, not Jewish Lightning,
dummy.
33
00:01:22,352 --> 00:01:23,385
The other game,
34
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,453
the vaginal description game.
35
00:01:25,455 --> 00:01:26,688
Oh.
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00:01:26,690 --> 00:01:28,123
He never made it
past first grade,
37
00:01:28,125 --> 00:01:30,158
but, my God, there was
no one better
38
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,993
at guessing what
a woman's crinkle looked like
39
00:01:31,995 --> 00:01:33,495
than old Hamish.
40
00:01:33,497 --> 00:01:35,130
Oh, that sounds like
a hell of a time.
41
00:01:35,132 --> 00:01:37,899
Do one now.
Do Mary Todd Lincoln.
42
00:01:37,901 --> 00:01:40,068
Oh, I don't want to.
Not in the mood.
43
00:01:40,070 --> 00:01:41,736
Lost your touch, eh?
44
00:01:41,738 --> 00:01:44,706
Yeah, right.
45
00:01:44,708 --> 00:01:46,875
Powerful first impression.
46
00:01:46,877 --> 00:01:48,476
Old man frowny face.
47
00:01:48,478 --> 00:01:50,679
Smells of freedom,
which...
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00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:51,913
smells like onions.
49
00:01:51,915 --> 00:01:54,049
That is exactly right.
I know.
50
00:01:54,051 --> 00:01:55,817
I paid for a glimpse
at the state fair.
51
00:01:55,819 --> 00:01:58,620
I have a gift.
Had a gift.
52
00:02:00,357 --> 00:02:01,990
Hold tight, Hamish.
53
00:02:01,992 --> 00:02:04,859
I'm going to get you freed.
54
00:02:04,861 --> 00:02:06,394
Guard?
55
00:02:06,396 --> 00:02:08,029
While you're at it,
is there any chance
56
00:02:08,031 --> 00:02:09,664
of you getting me freed too?
57
00:02:09,666 --> 00:02:10,999
We'll see.
58
00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:12,834
He-- he said it
like a yes.
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00:02:12,836 --> 00:02:14,269
It was a no.
60
00:02:14,271 --> 00:02:16,605
I mean, you just got
a bad attitude.
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00:02:16,607 --> 00:02:18,873
No, I know him.
He's a terrible person.
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00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:21,276
♪ I want the money,I want the fame ♪
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00:02:21,278 --> 00:02:23,712
♪ I want the whole world
to know my name ♪
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00:02:23,714 --> 00:02:26,081
♪ this is mine,
I got to get it ♪
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00:02:26,083 --> 00:02:28,550
♪ I got to get it,
got, got to get it ♪
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00:02:28,552 --> 00:02:30,051
♪ Another Period ♪
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Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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00:02:35,792 --> 00:02:37,192
Ah!
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00:02:37,194 --> 00:02:38,960
Beatrice,
what are you doing?
70
00:02:38,962 --> 00:02:41,563
Well, I can't go to trial
without doing cocaine.
71
00:02:41,565 --> 00:02:43,632
Well, why are you shooting it
into your eyeballs?
72
00:02:43,634 --> 00:02:45,600
'Cause it'll get
to my brain faster.
73
00:02:45,602 --> 00:02:48,703
Flobelle, do my hair
into maize rows.
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00:02:48,705 --> 00:02:50,739
I, uh, don't do hair, my lady.
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00:02:50,741 --> 00:02:54,109
Oh, I guess I'll never stop
being surprised around here.
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00:02:54,111 --> 00:02:56,077
Miss Lillian, I do hair.
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00:02:56,079 --> 00:02:58,546
Do you think I'd trust
some pussy fanner
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00:02:58,548 --> 00:03:00,548
to touch my head
on a day like today?
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00:03:00,550 --> 00:03:03,218
Get back down there
and fan my pussy!
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00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:05,587
I want it bone dry
for the trial.
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00:03:06,923 --> 00:03:08,757
Technically, Hamish is
the one being tried,
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00:03:08,759 --> 00:03:10,258
but I've been called to testify
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00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:12,260
due to the fact
that I'm his former lover.
84
00:03:12,262 --> 00:03:14,562
And also I'm beautiful,
charismatic,
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00:03:14,564 --> 00:03:15,764
sexually intoxicating--
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00:03:15,766 --> 00:03:17,465
I just want to see
someone die--
87
00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:20,969
from hanging or firing squad
or dynamite or...
88
00:03:20,971 --> 00:03:21,970
even old age.
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00:03:21,972 --> 00:03:23,438
Yes.
90
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:24,639
Well, who doesn't?
91
00:03:24,641 --> 00:03:25,974
But let's not try
to shift focus
92
00:03:25,976 --> 00:03:28,276
off of the person
who matters here-- me.
93
00:03:28,278 --> 00:03:29,577
Oh, give me the P.
94
00:03:29,579 --> 00:03:31,746
But I wanted to wear
Mr. Plume.
95
00:03:31,748 --> 00:03:33,648
Beatrice, I can't have you
upstaging me.
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00:03:33,650 --> 00:03:35,016
If you want more attention,
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00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:36,885
you should start sleeping
with more murderers.
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00:03:36,887 --> 00:03:37,986
Fine.
99
00:03:37,988 --> 00:03:40,622
Oh, great.
Cripple mom is here.
100
00:03:41,758 --> 00:03:42,991
Lillian, why are you dressed
101
00:03:42,993 --> 00:03:45,694
like a Prussian whore
on payday?
102
00:03:45,696 --> 00:03:48,096
Lillian's wearing Mr. P
because she's the star witness
103
00:03:48,098 --> 00:03:49,297
and I'm not.
104
00:03:49,299 --> 00:03:51,299
Just as I coached you,
Beatrice.
105
00:03:51,301 --> 00:03:53,001
Well, I don't have
to coach anyone
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00:03:53,003 --> 00:03:55,170
to convince myself
I'm important.
107
00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:57,272
It is my testimony
that will determine
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00:03:57,274 --> 00:03:59,140
whether Hamish lives or--
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00:03:59,142 --> 00:04:00,442
Dies!
110
00:04:00,444 --> 00:04:01,676
Dies.
111
00:04:01,678 --> 00:04:03,244
Or dies.
112
00:04:04,781 --> 00:04:07,215
See you in court, Chair.
113
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,386
Oh.
Ah!
114
00:04:11,388 --> 00:04:12,987
Help her with her drugs.
115
00:04:23,066 --> 00:04:25,033
Don't you see?
116
00:04:25,035 --> 00:04:26,167
Hamish is innocent.
117
00:04:26,169 --> 00:04:27,736
I killed that reporter,
118
00:04:27,738 --> 00:04:29,804
and now Hamish stands
to be executed
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00:04:29,806 --> 00:04:33,675
for what I did,
for my sin.
120
00:04:33,677 --> 00:04:36,177
Guide me, o willow.
121
00:04:36,179 --> 00:04:38,012
Yes.
122
00:04:38,014 --> 00:04:39,814
Yes, of course.
You're right.
123
00:04:39,816 --> 00:04:42,150
O willow, I must confess.
124
00:04:42,152 --> 00:04:43,752
Yes, they will kill me,
125
00:04:43,754 --> 00:04:46,187
but I must be willing
to face that.
126
00:04:46,189 --> 00:04:48,356
And this, this being
my last day,
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00:04:48,358 --> 00:04:50,725
I shall live
as I never have before.
128
00:04:50,727 --> 00:04:53,595
Anyhoo, enough about me.
How are you?
129
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:56,431
How are Fern and the kids?
130
00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:58,733
One more photo, ladies.
131
00:04:58,735 --> 00:05:00,168
One more.
132
00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:02,003
Oh, my.
133
00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:05,039
If it isn't Brussels Sheridan
from "The Looky-Loo."
134
00:05:05,041 --> 00:05:06,841
Look, a woman smoking in public.
135
00:05:06,843 --> 00:05:09,177
Real taboo stuff happening here.
136
00:05:09,179 --> 00:05:12,847
Is that supposed to be some
kind of political statement?
137
00:05:12,849 --> 00:05:14,916
Yes, you might want to write
a little article about it.
138
00:05:14,918 --> 00:05:16,851
And since you've asked,
as survivor
139
00:05:16,853 --> 00:05:19,287
of a sexual encounter
with a poor person, I--
140
00:05:19,289 --> 00:05:20,722
If this trial continues,
141
00:05:20,724 --> 00:05:23,291
I will bathe myself
in the blood of 12 pigs.
142
00:05:23,293 --> 00:05:26,428
And I will eat those 12 pigs,
143
00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:28,897
rub their guts on my body,
144
00:05:28,899 --> 00:05:31,232
and set myself on fire
145
00:05:31,234 --> 00:05:34,602
if Hamish is not freed
by sundown
146
00:05:34,604 --> 00:05:36,905
to be my star lover.
147
00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:39,307
I was in the middle
of a speech, gals.
148
00:05:39,309 --> 00:05:42,076
I realize you're all having
a psychic love affair--
149
00:05:42,078 --> 00:05:43,378
Girls, over here.
Over here.
150
00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:44,579
What about me?
151
00:05:44,581 --> 00:05:46,080
Get out of the photo!
152
00:05:46,082 --> 00:05:47,649
They're my backup dancers.
153
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:50,285
There are so many
desperate things happening here,
154
00:05:50,287 --> 00:05:52,754
it's hard to decide
which is the worst.
155
00:05:52,756 --> 00:05:54,789
Oh!
Oh.
156
00:05:59,429 --> 00:06:02,597
Judge Henson,
it's very... embarrassing
157
00:06:02,599 --> 00:06:05,733
that my employee is on trial
for murder,
158
00:06:05,735 --> 00:06:08,002
so the quicker this goes away,
the better.
159
00:06:08,004 --> 00:06:13,174
I have another idea
how justice can prevail.
160
00:06:14,845 --> 00:06:16,978
According to Rhode Island
state law,
161
00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:19,481
should no judge be present
and qualified to try a case,
162
00:06:19,483 --> 00:06:21,749
any sworn federal officer
may step in
163
00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:24,152
and act as judge.
164
00:06:24,154 --> 00:06:25,253
Ah!
165
00:06:25,255 --> 00:06:27,455
Oh, Papa, I love my new dress.
166
00:06:27,457 --> 00:06:30,091
Son, remember
what we discussed.
167
00:06:30,093 --> 00:06:31,259
Mm-hmm.
168
00:06:31,261 --> 00:06:32,727
Well, with all due respect,
Father,
169
00:06:32,729 --> 00:06:34,429
I am the selected official,
170
00:06:34,431 --> 00:06:38,099
and I will do
whatever you say.
171
00:06:38,101 --> 00:06:40,969
Which is to declare a...
172
00:06:40,971 --> 00:06:42,136
Dogfight.
173
00:06:42,138 --> 00:06:44,672
- No, mistrial.
- Yes, mistrial!
174
00:06:44,674 --> 00:06:47,642
Ooh, I love the feeling
of this law hammer.
175
00:06:47,644 --> 00:06:48,676
What's it called?
176
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,479
Who cares?
I'm king of the lawyers.
177
00:06:51,481 --> 00:06:53,715
Bye, Father.
178
00:06:59,956 --> 00:07:02,490
Well, if it isn't
my betrayer.
179
00:07:02,492 --> 00:07:04,192
What do you want?
180
00:07:04,194 --> 00:07:07,762
I'm just here to do to you
what you did to me.
181
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,466
Oh.
182
00:07:11,468 --> 00:07:12,901
I'm gonna tell them about
183
00:07:12,903 --> 00:07:15,570
all the bad things
you did to me
184
00:07:15,572 --> 00:07:19,741
and what a sad, sad girl
that made me.
185
00:07:20,777 --> 00:07:22,577
And while I'm doing that,
186
00:07:22,579 --> 00:07:26,014
I want you think about
all the reasons
187
00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:28,883
why you shouldn't have
blackmailed me.
188
00:07:28,885 --> 00:07:30,985
Oh, well, at least I'll die
189
00:07:30,987 --> 00:07:32,921
being cranked by the best
in the biz.
190
00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:36,724
Oh, ain't nothing crippled
about that hand, is there?
191
00:07:36,726 --> 00:07:38,860
Oh.
192
00:07:38,862 --> 00:07:40,395
Enjoy your blue balls.
193
00:07:40,397 --> 00:07:41,629
No, no, no, no.
194
00:07:41,631 --> 00:07:43,398
I hear they compliment
a broken neck.
195
00:07:44,668 --> 00:07:46,100
No! Get back here!
196
00:07:46,102 --> 00:07:48,336
Oh, come on!
Oh, come on!
197
00:07:48,338 --> 00:07:49,437
I need a release!
198
00:07:49,439 --> 00:07:51,573
Oh, God, please,
199
00:07:51,575 --> 00:07:53,541
if you can just
grant me anything,
200
00:07:53,543 --> 00:07:55,677
help release me!
201
00:07:55,679 --> 00:07:59,147
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
202
00:08:01,017 --> 00:08:03,651
Wow. Thanks, God.
203
00:08:16,173 --> 00:08:17,639
All rise.
204
00:08:20,177 --> 00:08:23,011
Now sit down...
if you're a sexual deviant.
205
00:08:23,013 --> 00:08:26,248
Oh!
Twain.
206
00:08:28,252 --> 00:08:31,119
♪ damn, what I got to say
to get a piece of that? ♪
207
00:08:31,121 --> 00:08:33,789
♪ damn, what I got to say
to get a piece of that? ♪
208
00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:36,158
♪ damn, what I got to say
to get a piece of that? ♪
209
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,861
♪ damn, what I got to say
to get a piece of that? ♪
210
00:08:38,863 --> 00:08:40,028
♪ na-na, na-na ♪
211
00:08:40,030 --> 00:08:41,530
Excuse me, sir.
212
00:08:41,532 --> 00:08:43,365
Charleton Wimbledon
representing the state.
213
00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:45,701
Objection!
Relevance?
214
00:08:45,703 --> 00:08:49,605
You're simply repeating
legal terms you've heard before.
215
00:08:49,607 --> 00:08:50,973
Is that correct?
216
00:08:50,975 --> 00:08:52,307
Overruled!
217
00:08:52,309 --> 00:08:53,742
Yeah, that's what
it sounded like.
218
00:08:53,744 --> 00:08:56,778
Mark Twain here.
219
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:59,081
America's premier storyteller
220
00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:01,717
stepping up to the bar
for the defense.
221
00:09:01,719 --> 00:09:05,721
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury--
222
00:09:05,723 --> 00:09:07,656
Sorry.
My mistake.
223
00:09:07,658 --> 00:09:10,626
Women aren't allowed to serve
on juries.
224
00:09:11,729 --> 00:09:16,098
My client may be a bad man.
225
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:20,035
Hell, he may have even killed
Scoops LePue!
226
00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:24,406
The state rests.
227
00:09:24,408 --> 00:09:26,108
Uh, you're not--
you're not the state.
228
00:09:26,110 --> 00:09:27,776
I'm the state.
229
00:09:27,778 --> 00:09:29,678
And you don't rest
until the end of the trial.
230
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:30,812
Wanna bet?
231
00:09:30,814 --> 00:09:32,414
It's very disappointing.
232
00:09:32,416 --> 00:09:34,082
- Not a great lawyer.
- No.
233
00:09:34,084 --> 00:09:35,450
No.
234
00:09:35,452 --> 00:09:37,185
It does me no great honor
to tell you
235
00:09:37,187 --> 00:09:41,089
I indulged myself
for the first and last time.
236
00:09:41,091 --> 00:09:44,593
One, uh, rahvay-olay.
237
00:09:44,595 --> 00:09:45,861
Ravioli?
238
00:09:45,863 --> 00:09:47,462
- Huh?
- Ravioli.
239
00:09:47,464 --> 00:09:50,332
Yes, uh, medium rare, please.
240
00:09:50,334 --> 00:09:51,800
Prego.
241
00:09:51,802 --> 00:09:52,935
Thank you.
242
00:09:52,937 --> 00:09:54,703
I'm eating in a restaurant.
243
00:09:56,740 --> 00:09:59,141
Your Honor,
I think it may be time
244
00:09:59,143 --> 00:10:00,809
for me to call my first witness.
245
00:10:02,546 --> 00:10:05,314
'Twas a cold October morning.
246
00:10:05,316 --> 00:10:07,182
The pumpkins were ripe then
247
00:10:07,184 --> 00:10:10,185
and pregnant with possibility,
248
00:10:10,187 --> 00:10:11,620
like my pregnant friend Carla.
249
00:10:11,622 --> 00:10:13,155
Poor Carla.
250
00:10:13,157 --> 00:10:16,625
Autumn had sprinkled itself
throughout the land.
251
00:10:16,627 --> 00:10:18,327
It's really not her turn
to speak.
252
00:10:18,329 --> 00:10:21,563
Order! It is not your turn
to speak, Lillian.
253
00:10:21,565 --> 00:10:22,998
Thank you.
254
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,399
The state calls--
255
00:10:24,401 --> 00:10:25,701
Oh.
256
00:10:25,703 --> 00:10:27,402
Lillian Bellacourt.
257
00:10:31,175 --> 00:10:34,409
Now, you've said that you
and the defendant were lovers.
258
00:10:34,411 --> 00:10:36,378
Can a woman
who has laid with a man
259
00:10:36,380 --> 00:10:37,980
who has trouble
getting an erection
260
00:10:37,982 --> 00:10:39,848
truly be called
that man's lover?
261
00:10:39,850 --> 00:10:42,818
That's not really what we're
here to determine tod--
262
00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:44,052
I am the victim here.
263
00:10:44,054 --> 00:10:46,021
- Traitor!
- Curse you!
264
00:10:46,023 --> 00:10:51,093
You may have had his body,
but we will have his soul!
265
00:10:51,095 --> 00:10:52,861
Your jealousy
doesn't bother me.
266
00:10:52,863 --> 00:10:54,529
I own what you crave!
267
00:10:54,531 --> 00:10:56,231
Oh, fuck you!
268
00:10:56,233 --> 00:10:57,766
- You're okay with all that?
- Order!
269
00:10:57,768 --> 00:10:59,334
They're not really with me.
270
00:10:59,336 --> 00:11:00,469
- Bitch!
- Order!
271
00:11:00,471 --> 00:11:02,471
That bitch!
272
00:11:02,473 --> 00:11:06,408
If it please the court,
I have to go number one.
273
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:08,610
Beatrice, would you take over
for me, please?
274
00:11:08,612 --> 00:11:10,012
- Take over?
- Me?
275
00:11:10,014 --> 00:11:11,113
- Yes.
- Oh!
276
00:11:11,115 --> 00:11:12,681
You can't just have someone--
277
00:11:12,683 --> 00:11:14,182
I've never done anything
like this before.
278
00:11:14,184 --> 00:11:15,951
That's not--
that's a problem.
279
00:11:15,953 --> 00:11:17,586
You can't just have anybody
come up and be the judge.
280
00:11:17,588 --> 00:11:18,787
- What are you doing?
- Here I go!
281
00:11:18,789 --> 00:11:20,922
I don't know.
282
00:11:20,924 --> 00:11:22,224
Execute him.
283
00:11:22,226 --> 00:11:24,426
No!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
284
00:11:24,428 --> 00:11:25,994
We're not there.
We need to have a trial.
285
00:11:25,996 --> 00:11:27,229
Well, sorry.
I'm not perfect.
286
00:11:27,231 --> 00:11:28,530
This is my first time.
287
00:11:28,532 --> 00:11:29,865
This is not even
your first time,
288
00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:31,199
because you're not a judge.
289
00:11:31,201 --> 00:11:32,968
You're really hurting
my feelings.
290
00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:34,803
I'm sorry. I don't mean
to hurt your feelings.
291
00:11:34,805 --> 00:11:35,871
You're forgiven.
292
00:11:35,873 --> 00:11:37,706
Lillian, you may continue.
293
00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:40,075
I don't know
what I was talking about.
294
00:11:41,945 --> 00:11:43,912
Uno raviolo.
295
00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:45,180
Ah, thank you.
296
00:11:48,085 --> 00:11:49,751
Yes, please.
297
00:11:55,492 --> 00:11:57,325
More.
298
00:11:59,296 --> 00:12:01,063
Yes.
299
00:12:01,065 --> 00:12:04,266
Yes. Yes.
300
00:12:04,268 --> 00:12:06,234
Yes.
301
00:12:06,236 --> 00:12:09,271
Yes. Yes.
302
00:12:09,273 --> 00:12:11,073
While I understand your point,
303
00:12:11,075 --> 00:12:14,142
I feel like murder should
maybe be malum prohibitum
304
00:12:14,144 --> 00:12:15,911
instead of malum se.
305
00:12:15,913 --> 00:12:19,081
I don't think it's internally
naturally an evil thing.
306
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:22,584
Sometimes murder is justified,
and maybe in Hamish's case,
307
00:12:22,586 --> 00:12:23,752
even though we know...
308
00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:26,121
- Beatrice?
- Oh, yes.
309
00:12:26,123 --> 00:12:28,657
What were all those
fancy words?
310
00:12:28,659 --> 00:12:29,825
What?
311
00:12:29,827 --> 00:12:32,094
Execute him.
Bye.
312
00:12:32,096 --> 00:12:33,628
No, that was--
that was interesting.
313
00:12:33,630 --> 00:12:35,464
That was good.
What she was saying was helpful.
314
00:12:35,466 --> 00:12:36,798
Order, order, order.
315
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,633
Okay, everyone, I have
a little announcement.
316
00:12:38,635 --> 00:12:39,935
It was only number one,
317
00:12:39,937 --> 00:12:41,603
but I did it sitting down
just in case.
318
00:12:41,605 --> 00:12:45,807
Anyway, I am back from my break.
319
00:12:45,809 --> 00:12:47,509
Oh, just in time
for another break.
320
00:12:47,511 --> 00:12:49,444
If anyone needs me,
I will be in my chamber,
321
00:12:49,446 --> 00:12:51,613
playing a solo game
of Duck, Duck, Goose.
322
00:13:03,961 --> 00:13:05,026
Aye, missy!
323
00:13:05,028 --> 00:13:06,294
What are you doing up there?
324
00:13:06,296 --> 00:13:08,530
Who, me? Nothing.
325
00:13:08,532 --> 00:13:10,365
Darling, this ain't
a maypole
326
00:13:10,367 --> 00:13:12,134
for you to be dancing around.
327
00:13:12,136 --> 00:13:14,536
This is a death machine.
328
00:13:14,538 --> 00:13:16,538
I just like it
when people go poof
329
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:18,640
and then they aren't there
anymore.
330
00:13:18,642 --> 00:13:20,008
Oh.
331
00:13:20,010 --> 00:13:22,210
Well, you'd make
a good police officer,
332
00:13:22,212 --> 00:13:23,245
wouldn't you?
333
00:13:24,414 --> 00:13:26,548
You want to try it on
for size?
334
00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:27,883
Mm-hmm.
335
00:13:27,885 --> 00:13:30,886
Okay, well, you take
the wonton criminal,
336
00:13:30,888 --> 00:13:33,522
and you put him up here
like so.
337
00:13:33,524 --> 00:13:38,493
And then you take the noose,
and you slip it over his head,
338
00:13:38,495 --> 00:13:42,164
making sure to make it
nice and tight.
339
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:45,534
And then you hang him until
his eyes pop out of his head
340
00:13:45,536 --> 00:13:48,670
like cherry tomatoes
in a day-old salad.
341
00:13:48,672 --> 00:13:50,105
Tighter.
342
00:13:50,107 --> 00:13:53,742
You know, it gets lonely
down at the precinct.
343
00:13:53,744 --> 00:13:55,477
Tighter.
344
00:13:55,479 --> 00:13:59,014
All right, even this
is even weird for me.
345
00:14:01,451 --> 00:14:03,351
- You okay?
- Uh-uh.
346
00:14:03,353 --> 00:14:05,086
- Kelly, what are you doing?
- Oy!
347
00:14:05,088 --> 00:14:09,791
You know you're not supposed
to have women out here...
348
00:14:09,793 --> 00:14:11,426
without me.
349
00:14:12,462 --> 00:14:13,461
Yeah, that's right.
350
00:14:13,463 --> 00:14:15,096
Right, bring her in.
351
00:14:15,098 --> 00:14:17,632
Ah, here you go,
you wee sunflower, you.
352
00:14:17,634 --> 00:14:21,269
Yeah, give her
a nice kiss there.
353
00:14:21,271 --> 00:14:23,138
Kelly, she's dead!
354
00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:24,573
She's dead!
Bring her back!
355
00:14:24,575 --> 00:14:25,740
- Bring her back.
- Oh, no.
356
00:14:25,742 --> 00:14:27,075
- My goodness!
- Oh, boy.
357
00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:29,110
Oh, I can't do this!
Oh, my God! Okay!
358
00:14:29,112 --> 00:14:30,178
We--
359
00:14:32,097 --> 00:14:34,730
I didn't know what to do.
360
00:14:34,732 --> 00:14:36,265
He came out Scoop's office
with murder in his eyes.
361
00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:39,234
He held a knife up
to my pregnant belly
362
00:14:39,236 --> 00:14:41,837
and said, "Woman,
if you tell a soul,
363
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:45,307
I will cut your unborn baby
out of you
364
00:14:45,309 --> 00:14:47,876
and hang it
from the clock tower!"
365
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,579
You monster.
366
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:53,482
- He loves abortion.
- No!
367
00:14:53,484 --> 00:14:55,751
He's always aborting this
and aborting that.
368
00:14:55,753 --> 00:14:58,954
Anyway, I told him
to leave me alone
369
00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:00,089
and I would never tell a soul.
370
00:15:00,091 --> 00:15:02,658
But that poor man.
371
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:07,262
That poor Scoops LePue.
372
00:15:07,264 --> 00:15:10,432
Your Honor, I know
this is unorthodox,
373
00:15:10,434 --> 00:15:14,636
but I would like the opportunity
to testify against my client.
374
00:15:14,638 --> 00:15:16,405
What?
375
00:15:16,407 --> 00:15:19,274
You've cost me
my entire savings,
376
00:15:19,276 --> 00:15:21,844
but you were worth it, ravioli.
377
00:15:21,846 --> 00:15:24,813
What wonderful surprises await
every bite
378
00:15:24,815 --> 00:15:27,282
of your mystery innards.
379
00:15:27,284 --> 00:15:28,784
Mmm!
380
00:15:28,786 --> 00:15:29,885
Waiter!
381
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,820
More Chianti.
382
00:15:31,822 --> 00:15:33,288
Will there be
anything else?
383
00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:34,857
We are about to close.
384
00:15:34,859 --> 00:15:37,025
How long have I been here?
385
00:15:37,027 --> 00:15:39,795
Signore, you have been
slicing that ravioli
386
00:15:39,797 --> 00:15:40,963
for almost three hours.
387
00:15:40,965 --> 00:15:42,397
Oh, my goodness.
The trial.
388
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:45,134
Thank you, Giuseppe.
Arrivederci.
389
00:15:45,136 --> 00:15:46,568
Arrivederci.
Grazie.
390
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:49,304
Mr. Peepers, go!
Italia is behind you.
391
00:15:49,306 --> 00:15:51,440
Mr. Crassus, would you say
392
00:15:51,442 --> 00:15:54,276
that you're an angry person?
393
00:15:54,278 --> 00:15:56,211
No, I would say
394
00:15:56,213 --> 00:16:00,249
that I'm a very calm
and happy man.
395
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:04,686
What if I were to call you
a filthy, stupid, bearded idiot?
396
00:16:04,688 --> 00:16:06,388
You take that back,
you pile of shit!
397
00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:08,590
I'll kill you while
your whole family watches,
398
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:09,758
and then I'll kill them!
399
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,260
I've killed men for less!
400
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,028
Murder's my favorite!
401
00:16:13,030 --> 00:16:15,164
Oh! Oh!
402
00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:16,665
Damn it!
403
00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,834
I have no further questions.
404
00:16:18,836 --> 00:16:20,502
It's a joke.
405
00:16:20,504 --> 00:16:22,905
Well, I'm ready to render
my "guilty" verdict.
406
00:16:24,508 --> 00:16:26,575
Hamish is innocent!
407
00:16:26,577 --> 00:16:28,744
He has an alibi!
He can prove it!
408
00:16:30,014 --> 00:16:31,446
He's just protecting the woman
409
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:32,848
he's been having an affair with.
410
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:34,950
- Is it you?
- I don't know.
411
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:37,052
- Her!
- What?
412
00:16:37,054 --> 00:16:40,556
Martha, the--
the pig butcher's wife?
413
00:16:40,558 --> 00:16:41,890
I don't know that woman.
414
00:16:41,892 --> 00:16:44,860
Enough of this
martyrdom, son!
415
00:16:44,862 --> 00:16:46,929
Your life is on the line!
416
00:16:46,931 --> 00:16:50,465
Just before the trial,
he was telling me
417
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,434
what her...
418
00:16:52,436 --> 00:16:54,503
feminine parts looked like.
419
00:16:54,505 --> 00:16:56,305
Isn't that right?
420
00:16:57,575 --> 00:16:59,441
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
421
00:16:59,443 --> 00:17:01,410
Jeez, I, uh-- yes.
422
00:17:01,412 --> 00:17:03,912
I didn't want to say anything,
but...
423
00:17:03,914 --> 00:17:06,181
we are having an affair.
424
00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:07,883
That's not true.
425
00:17:07,885 --> 00:17:09,985
I know just what
her scrunchy looks like.
426
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:14,890
It's dark, and--
and puffy, yes.
427
00:17:14,892 --> 00:17:16,291
- Puffy?
- Very puffy.
428
00:17:16,293 --> 00:17:19,428
And-- and thinly lipped,
429
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,697
like-- like carpaccio.
430
00:17:21,699 --> 00:17:23,599
Yeah, yeah.
431
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:28,637
It kind of resembles
the coastline of New Hampshire.
432
00:17:28,639 --> 00:17:30,439
Well, is that true?
433
00:17:30,441 --> 00:17:32,407
Is that what your vagina
looks like?
434
00:17:32,409 --> 00:17:34,810
Well, I don't know
what my vagina looks like.
435
00:17:34,812 --> 00:17:36,411
I've never seen it.
436
00:17:36,413 --> 00:17:37,579
Oh!
437
00:17:37,581 --> 00:17:39,414
I've seen a pig's vagina.
438
00:17:39,416 --> 00:17:41,483
That's because we butcher pigs.
439
00:17:41,485 --> 00:17:45,254
And I've seen a dog's vagina
before...
440
00:17:45,256 --> 00:17:47,689
Just on the street.
441
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:50,392
Well, there's only one way
to solve this mystery.
442
00:17:50,394 --> 00:17:51,660
Show us.
443
00:17:51,662 --> 00:17:53,028
I'll show mine.
444
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,429
It's tight
and smells of chutney.
445
00:17:54,431 --> 00:17:55,931
Lillian, have some dignity.
446
00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:57,599
This is a court of law.
447
00:17:58,669 --> 00:17:59,968
Ma'am, please stand up
448
00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:02,070
and show everyone your vagina.
449
00:18:04,808 --> 00:18:07,776
If it pleases the court.
450
00:18:07,778 --> 00:18:09,645
That remains to be seen.
451
00:18:27,531 --> 00:18:31,667
I give you the coastline
of New Hampshire!
452
00:18:34,004 --> 00:18:35,837
New Hampshire!
453
00:18:35,839 --> 00:18:38,707
Seems our problem
has been solved.
454
00:18:38,709 --> 00:18:40,742
What?
No! No, no, no.
455
00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,244
You can't decide a trial
456
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,146
based on the shape
of a woman's vagina.
457
00:18:44,148 --> 00:18:45,380
That's not an alibi.
458
00:18:45,382 --> 00:18:47,182
What is the matter
with you people?
459
00:18:47,184 --> 00:18:48,684
The man is guilty!
460
00:18:48,686 --> 00:18:51,186
This man is innocent!
461
00:18:51,188 --> 00:18:53,588
I killed Scoops LePue.
462
00:18:57,728 --> 00:18:59,795
I killed Scoops LePue!
463
00:18:59,797 --> 00:19:01,430
No, no, I mean it.
I really did.
464
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:02,731
I-- I killed him.
465
00:19:02,733 --> 00:19:04,666
I killed Scoops LePue.
466
00:19:04,668 --> 00:19:06,101
Order!
467
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,170
And then I got his blood
on my face.
468
00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:09,438
I killed Scoops LePue.
469
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,740
- I killed Scoops LePue!
- Order!
470
00:19:11,742 --> 00:19:13,842
I killed Poops LeScue!
471
00:19:13,844 --> 00:19:15,477
I would have killed
Scoops LePue.
472
00:19:15,479 --> 00:19:17,079
I was happy when he died.
473
00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:21,216
I killed Scoops LePue.
474
00:19:21,218 --> 00:19:23,752
What?
475
00:19:23,754 --> 00:19:25,887
Oh, you did?
476
00:19:25,889 --> 00:19:27,055
Yeah, that works for me.
477
00:19:27,057 --> 00:19:28,156
Yeah, me too.
478
00:19:28,158 --> 00:19:29,725
I guess I didn't kill him.
479
00:19:29,727 --> 00:19:31,393
- Off we go. Come on.
- Okay, here we go.
480
00:19:31,395 --> 00:19:33,061
No, I just got caught up
in the moment.
481
00:19:33,063 --> 00:19:34,730
I thought this was a thing
we were all doing.
482
00:19:34,732 --> 00:19:36,331
Sorry, you're coming
with us.
483
00:19:38,202 --> 00:19:40,135
I'm free!
Ha ha!
484
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,904
I'm free!
485
00:19:42,906 --> 00:19:45,095
_
486
00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:47,617
Well, today was
a complete waste.
487
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,286
Everyone ended up in the paper
except me.
488
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:50,754
"Hamish Crassus Not Guilty."
489
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,622
"Blonde Becomes the First Woman
to Hold Gavel."
490
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:54,991
"Vagina Shaped
Just Like New Hampshire."
491
00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:58,428
I mean, who the hell knows what
New Hampshire's shaped like?
492
00:20:14,112 --> 00:20:15,411
No!
493
00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:34,130
Will you eat with us?
494
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,200
No, thanks.
495
00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:39,402
I have somewhere to be.
496
00:20:47,699 --> 00:20:49,753
Welcome home, Hamish.
497
00:20:49,754 --> 00:20:52,009
- Welcome home.
- Thank you.
498
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:53,853
Did I tell you guys
that I learnt to read?
499
00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:58,979
I did, I did.
I learnt.
500
00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:00,100
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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