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1
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Subs by SincBoss
2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,355
Film by Irena Skoric
3
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,274
Cast
4
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,758
Director of photography
5
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:12,992
Editor
6
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:18,479
Original Music by
7
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Screenwriter and director
8
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Anything there?
9
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,195
Can you see anything?
10
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,074
A snowstorm.
11
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,749
In the film?
- On the bloody screen!
12
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,396
Fucking analogue.
13
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,238
Why's it so bent?
14
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,118
A swan.
- What bloody swan!
15
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:37,916
A black one. Fucking sits on the
antenna, heavier than a turkey.
16
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:39,918
From Zagorje?
- Zagorje?
17
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,355
The turkey.
18
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,716
Why don't you take it down?
- What?
19
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,070
The swan. With an airgun.
20
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,516
Because it's protected.
21
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,116
It's got a bullet-proof vest?
22
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,876
It's protected by law, dummy.
It's from the zoo.
23
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:56,953
So why isn't it there, then?
24
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,236
What the fuck
it's doing on your roof?
25
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,717
I'll freeze my pussy off.
Because of the porno.
26
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,435
First of all - it isn't a porno.
27
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:19,795
Then what?
28
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,274
It's erotic.
29
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,318
What's the difference?
30
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,033
In penetration.
31
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:29,832
Is that something political,
that 'penetratior?
32
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,079
It was on the News.
33
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,433
Fuck your High School diploma.
34
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,356
And what does this belong to?
35
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,798
To pneumonia.
36
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,395
I don't fucking believe it!
37
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,636
Don't fucking believe it!
38
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,069
Believe what?
39
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,477
The cold's made them harder
than when I'm horny!
40
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,360
That discovery's
won'th a Nobel Prize!
41
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:22,190
That's why they rub ice on the
boobs in porn flicks.
42
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:23,839
What about the guys?
43
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,714
Who the fuck looks
at the guy's boobs?!
44
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,197
I mean if they rub it
with ice to stiffen it up.
45
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,155
Where're you going?
46
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:40,919
To jump off the roof.
47
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,357
Wanna check if
the picture's better first?
48
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,836
Only you and those Partisans
on the third floor...
49
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:50,950
What?
50
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:54,078
Have analogue. Why...
51
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,358
'Cause I'm not giving
200 kunas for digital!
52
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,995
Fuck the corporate capitalists!
53
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,913
Stop shouting, they'll hear you.
That's a Telecom antenna there!
54
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,878
It's not a fucking
listening device.
55
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,474
What do you know?
56
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:12,635
You haven't a clue about this
antenna, let alone that big one.
57
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,676
Can't you copy it
somewhere else?
58
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:25,830
Like where?
59
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,195
In the Archives.
60
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,719
The archives?!
61
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,674
The Croatian Archives.
62
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,832
Or get it from Internet.
63
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,633
I downloaded Emmanuelle 3,
64
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,030
and it fucking cost me
as if I'd had her live.
65
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,077
And VHS on eBay?
66
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:47,795
75 $ and then 7 days to the end
of the auction, plus customs.
67
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,309
By the end it costs
you up to a grand!
68
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,913
How come so much?!
69
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,588
If you copy it direct on VHS.
70
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,714
Copied on VHS from DVD or
something, it's not won'th a toss.
71
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,798
That's why I've got to copy it
this evening. Get it?
72
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,234
No.
73
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,515
Only we get it.
74
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:05,874
Who's 'we'?
75
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,110
Us from WEMBFTC.
76
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,111
What the fuck's that?
77
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,637
The World Emmanuelle
Boys First Time Club.
78
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,118
A secret brotherhood of boys
who had their first wank
79
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,635
with Emmanuelle on VHS.
80
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,796
You're total idiots.
81
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,313
What about Torrent?
82
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:29,792
I don't want fucking Torrent and
fucking DIVX. I want it on VHS.
83
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,118
DVDs last only 5 years, but VHS
cassettes last at least 30.
84
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,233
But will your player still be
working in 30 years?
85
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,589
Sure.
86
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,548
If you're thinking
of turning me on that way...
87
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:55,750
No, I'm not.
88
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,752
Then why are you doing it?
89
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,190
To see which way
the wind's blowing.
90
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,630
The wind's got nothing
to do with the signal.
91
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,308
It has with pissing.
I don't want to piss on my legs.
92
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,476
What?!
Why don't you go to the loo?
93
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,473
Do you want to show me?
- Go down into the flat.
94
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:11,709
I won't make it.
95
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,230
What if the roof leaks?
96
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,834
Why would it leak?
97
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,835
'Cause it's fucking thin!
Socialist construction!
98
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,390
At least your neighbours
won't bother you!
99
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,511
It's not going to leak on them!
100
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,837
So it's okay if it leaks on me?
Fucking turn-on!
101
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:33,591
Lying on my couch and it drips
from the ceiling into my eye!
102
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,910
You've got no imagination!
No bloody imagination!
103
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,079
Analogue asshole.
104
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,948
What?!
- You heard what I said.
105
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,870
I think someone's looking
at me from that roof.
106
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,272
With binoculars.
107
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,558
It's the guy from the zoo.
108
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,718
He's not looking at you but the
swars probably gone off again.
109
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,592
I'm not so sure.
110
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,198
You know what he's doing now?
111
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,349
What?
112
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,430
He's gone behind the chimney
to have a wank.
113
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,669
When you're ready,
can you hold the antenna?
114
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,234
Yes, I can.
115
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,716
And I can stick it up your ass.
Maybe we'll get a signal.
116
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,114
Why are you so fucking rude?
117
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,510
Because that guy gets a hard on
for me from a kilometre away,
118
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,353
and you don't from
just two metres.
119
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:37,233
Gloria, you don't get it.
I now have a greater purpose.
120
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,398
Us guys are a species
that sometimes have a mission.
121
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,592
And there are two types of
chicks, those who understand
122
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,478
the male mission
and those who don't.
123
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:46,510
Got it.
124
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,238
Maybe that voyeur's
had a heart attack.
125
00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,874
You know, I have to
tell you something.
126
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:10,913
I lied.
127
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,879
The picture
downstairs is perfect.
128
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,474
Stop it. You said it
was just a tryout.
129
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,517
I need to fix my make-up.
130
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,239
Has anyone told you
how irritating you are?
131
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:19,353
And without a digital camera?!
132
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,192
You're a lousy actor.
133
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,670
So how are you
going to photoshop it?
134
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,069
I'm not.
135
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,232
Don't shit me.
136
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,670
You've got beautiful eyes.
137
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,710
You've got a good lens.
138
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,310
You've got good legs.
139
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,956
Eh, you know what?
- What?
140
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,430
I've just remembered something.
141
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,517
You have a memory?
142
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,279
In Film History,
we learned that actors
143
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:27,155
were lit with as many lights
as possible.
144
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:31,115
Since when do actors
learn about film history?!
145
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,117
Bette Davis, hellooo?
146
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:37,518
Oh, so you've heard about films
from before the digital era?
147
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,792
More lights, baby!
More lights!
148
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,236
This is for an exhibition.
149
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,952
And where's the fan?
150
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,317
This is fucking art.
151
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,753
Fuck the fan, for fuck's sake.
152
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,993
Hey, unbutton your blouse.
153
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,354
No nudity.
154
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,189
And you used to say:
Anything for Art.
155
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,073
Okay then, I can do it in a bra.
156
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,471
You won't be naked.
157
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,310
You mean, I can get dressed?
158
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,273
No, you'll have some sellotape.
159
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,272
What, black sellotape?
160
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,313
That's it... Black crosses.
161
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,792
Are you sniffing again?
162
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,795
Sod off. I haven't got
the money for that.
163
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,318
I know, the soaps
have fucked you over.
164
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,837
So says the queen of soaps.
165
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,515
Just one more
and I'll be a movie star.
166
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:54,993
So... the crosses?
167
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,674
Huh?!
168
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,390
Havert you heard of Vogue?
169
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,031
Course I have.
170
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,594
Wait...
171
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,437
Come here.
172
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,118
So, what do you say?
173
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,711
If this dumb bitch
can do it, so can I...
174
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,117
That's good one.
175
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,230
Yes.
176
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,079
That's great.
177
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:52,919
Yes.
178
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:59,514
Can you lie down so I get you
from another angle?
179
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,551
Hang on, move off!
180
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,479
You're texting on set?!
181
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,510
You've ruined my hair!
182
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,071
I've got more black
tape if you need it.
183
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,992
I've got to go!
- What?!
184
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,110
Gotta go!
185
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,710
I'll take you with a Polaroid
to punish you.
186
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:45,352
I said I didn't want analogue.
187
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,356
What's so urgent that you can't
tell me over the phone?
188
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,034
I'm up to my neck in shit.
189
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,397
I love your new flat.
Minimalism.
190
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,559
It's not mine. I'm renting it,
until the bitch leaves my flat.
191
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,313
Josip?
192
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:23,629
What Josip?!
193
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,797
The troll from the gas board.
194
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,269
You introduced
him to me as your bitch.
195
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,790
He's no longer my bitch,
but someone else's.
196
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,833
He'll never read my meter again.
197
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,952
They can send
someone else for all I care.
198
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,479
You've got a dog?
199
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:44,151
Are you crazy?!
I faint at 'Lassie Come Home'.
200
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,791
So who's the bitch, then?
201
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:55,036
Katica Bergen. An interior desi-
gner. She's designing my flat.
202
00:22:56,280 --> 00:23:00,114
The bitch treats me like
she's paying me and not me her.
203
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,591
So what's so urgent?
204
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,559
The deadline's in half an hour.
205
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,159
For what?
206
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:13,998
For my career.
207
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:15,955
Pixie!
208
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,674
So what?!
It was my first title role!
209
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,111
What title role? You were
Pixie in 'Dixie's home'.
210
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,914
So bloody what! Is a streetcar
211
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,833
the lead in
'A Streetcar Named Desire'?!
212
00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:33,557
What about the casting
for that Macedonian relish?
213
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,395
You mixed it up.
I got hooked on that relish
214
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,238
when I was visiting Skopje.
215
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,595
But this was for Samobor relish.
216
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,752
I was on the short list until
I threw up over the director.
217
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,076
At the end of the ad, I had to
put a spoonful of that shit
218
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,838
into my gob.
219
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,399
And that ad for beer?
220
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,193
No beer gut - no points.
221
00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:57,554
Milk?
222
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:01,555
Lost it to
a balding family-type.
223
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:03,239
Cat food?
224
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,158
I'm allergic to hairs.
225
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:06,589
Mobile phones?
226
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,229
They go for cool kids.
227
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,593
Sorry, I can't lend you
any money.
228
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:19,038
The bitch skinned me alive
and I'm in the red.
229
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,190
I've flunked all the ads,
230
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:31,876
so if I can't get a part
as befits a qualified actor,
231
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:36,479
I'll have to do
what's beneath my dignity.
232
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:41,638
As my granddad would say:
'Beggars can't be choosers.'
233
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,632
And that is...?
234
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,874
Theatre. Casting in the theatre.
235
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,079
I get you.
236
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,471
You really have
gone to the dogs.
237
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,196
The director is gay.
238
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:08,909
And?
239
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:13,199
Well... Maybe I'll have a
chance... If I hit on him.
240
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:14,668
But you're not gay.
241
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,949
And I'm no Pixie,
242
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,713
but I won second prize
243
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,269
at the regional competition
at Koprivnica!
244
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,356
It's not the same.
245
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,999
Being gay isn't a role.
You don't act it!
246
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,878
You live it,
for fuck's sake!
247
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,315
So when Shakespeare says
that all the world's a stage
248
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:31,792
and we are all players,
you reckon that's bullshit?
249
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,035
What are you trying to say?
250
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:37,399
I'm trying to say I want you to
teach me how to be gay.
251
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:38,749
How to be gay?
252
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,632
That's it. You've got
half an hour.
253
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,592
Half an hour?!
254
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,918
The shortest book on that
runs to 433 pages!
255
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,038
But I'm not looking for
a doctorate!
256
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,715
Just give me
one or two tricks I can try...
257
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,871
...clothes, make-up, design...
258
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,674
so he sees we have
the same DNA.
259
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:09,508
Okay.
260
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,194
Number 1. Elle decor?
261
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,392
I know that, they've got
the best chicks there.
262
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,915
Not chicks. Furniture.
263
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,471
The best furniture.
264
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,195
I get it.
265
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,354
You see that armchair there...
266
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:35,879
It's Fucci.
267
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,635
Old Jozo on the third
floor's got one like that.
268
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,194
I doubt it.
269
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,315
Mention Alexander
McQueen in passing.
270
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,239
Say you're still in
shock after his death.
271
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,994
Ask him if he'd like to go to a
vintage shop with you afterwards
272
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,155
What's a vintage shop?
273
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:03,477
It's like a second hand shop
but with good stuff.
274
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,433
Like a 1990
Vintage Diesel jacket.
275
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,750
Oh, I know, there's
one near the theatre.
276
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:24,159
Wear a tight tee-shirt
to show off your torso.
277
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,078
Or a fitted shirt.
278
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,359
White or pink?
279
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:30,950
White.
280
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,152
Great, I've got an American
Apparel with a V neck
281
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:37,432
from when Pixie
appeared in Garesnica.
282
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:40,199
Come here.
283
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:47,988
Vitra...
284
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,869
It's on show at the Pompidou
Centre. 300 euros.
285
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,029
What?
286
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,157
Can you remember that?
287
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:02,675
Don't tell me that these 2 bits
of wire with coloured balls...
288
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,997
Should I think about a career
designing clothes hangers?
289
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,428
Give me a break.
290
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,713
See what I'm taking to him,
to sweeten him up.
291
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,757
You're thinking of giving him
a box of chocolates?
292
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:22,439
What's wrong with chocolates?
293
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:26,315
I don't get you. Are you after
a nurse or a director?
294
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,511
...or an old bag
at the land registry?
295
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,119
It's all I can afford.
296
00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:33,750
You just need some Ralon
to complete the sorry picture.
297
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,468
My dad's still on Ralon.
298
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:44,915
Walk.
299
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,038
You're walking like a fag.
300
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:57,633
Isn't that the point?
301
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,559
No. Gays don't walk like fags.
302
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:02,908
Then how?
303
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:11,593
You're walking normally.
304
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:13,870
I'm walking like a gay.
305
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,515
I don't see the difference.
306
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:21,237
Think of a chick
in front of a caf�...
307
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:25,149
How about Renata? The one
with boobs like an oil platform.
308
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,153
You're walking by,
you know she's looking,
309
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,153
and you pretend
you don't see her...
310
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,514
Are you sick?
311
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,552
I'm concentrating!
312
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:43,758
I'm an ACTOR.
313
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,069
Is it OK? Huh? Is it OK?
314
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:54,833
Yes, but...
315
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:59,671
Shall I, when I go on stage,
shove it from left to right...
316
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:02,195
Phooey. That's gross. Phooey.
317
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:04,471
OK. I'm listening.
318
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:11,391
The walk's really good.
But now, do the same...
319
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,397
but without Renata
and her platform.
320
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,438
What do you mean?
321
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,234
Lmagine that
the director is Renata.
322
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,000
Him, Renata?!
But he's like a lizard
323
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:24,752
from the Galapagos Islands!
324
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,639
Then forget the walk. He'll know
you're walking for a platform
325
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,159
and not the Galapagos.
326
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,273
How the fuck will
he know what's in my mind?
327
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,678
We gays just know it.
328
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:39,359
'You gays'.
329
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,758
Are you supermen?
330
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,038
Should the rest
of us feel inferior?
331
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:47,952
Yes, you should.
332
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,395
For example,
in Plato's Feast...
333
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,035
Don't try bloody
Plato's Feast on me.
334
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,800
I got top marks in that
from Professor Vratovic!
335
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,117
OK. Walk how you like and
think about whoever you like.
336
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:00,912
Cool it, man.
337
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,915
I'll think of the Galapagos,
and I'll walk like
338
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,196
I'm thinking of Renata.
339
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,714
I'm an ACTOR.
340
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:11,359
It's my MISSION.
341
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,397
And what if, as if by accident,
342
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,154
I remove a lock of hair
from his face?
343
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,519
He's got hair?
344
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:27,034
No.
345
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,392
What's that perfume?
346
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,470
You're asking... him? Or me?
347
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:44,397
Got you, didn't I? You don't
know if it's acting or for real.
348
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,191
That's Stanislavski, man!
349
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,192
Total immersion!
350
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:54,315
FYI, the prompter's dog
went berserk at Pixie!
351
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,154
He really thought
I was a German shepherd!
352
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:58,515
Nina Ricci...
353
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,756
Is she the skirt
from the canteen?
354
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,077
The perfume...
You asked about the perfume.
355
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:07,553
And this...?
356
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,236
Do I need to ask...?
357
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,237
Is my beard rough?
358
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,319
A little.
359
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,598
But I like it.
360
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:29,149
I've got Plato's Feast
on my bedside table.
361
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:30,874
Me too.
362
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:32,873
Which edition?
363
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:34,752
Nolit, Belgrade.
364
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,355
Nolit, Belgrade. 63'.
365
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:46,993
You know what...
366
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,873
What?
367
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:53,313
I think you'll get the part.
You're totally convincing.
368
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:54,908
You know what...
369
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,434
What?
370
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,069
I've already got the part.
371
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,079
Fuck...
372
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,235
It took the director
two minutes to see it.
373
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,755
And it's taken you two years...
374
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,109
Sorry.
375
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:05,549
Hey.
376
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,029
Hey.
377
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,238
Hey, Hana.
378
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:23,635
Hey.
379
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:28,429
Marko.
380
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:30,555
What?
381
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,678
I'm Marko.
382
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,472
Yes, yes, I know.
383
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,759
We've never been
officially introduced.
384
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,873
Marko. Marko from the office.
385
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,560
Oh, sorry, yes.
386
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:03,309
Hana.
387
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,954
Are you looking for
anything special?
388
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:36,039
Not really.
389
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:39,318
A birthday present.
390
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:43,478
For your boyfriend?
391
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,712
For a friend.
392
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,195
Then you're in the right place.
393
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,513
I recommend the 80s.
There's a revival.
394
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:52,189
Huh?
395
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,119
I'm not so sure.
396
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,630
She's a ballet dancer.
397
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,189
Then...
398
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:02,269
...not.
399
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,638
Is this better?
400
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,551
You're often here, ha?
401
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:16,438
A- ha. Every week.
402
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,952
This was in that film,
wasrt it?
403
00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:26,037
In the sex scene?
404
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:28,669
A- ha.
405
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:32,910
I really fancy that actor.
406
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,157
You know,
you look a bit like him.
407
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,156
And you're like Nicole.
408
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:20,430
Red hair, blue eyes.
But much better.
409
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:34,952
I read the other day that
she always wears garters.
410
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,634
Even when she goes shopping.
411
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,711
Really? You're joking.
412
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:58,434
Marko?
413
00:39:58,720 --> 00:39:59,675
Yes?
414
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,589
I have to tell you something...
415
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:50,791
Hey. I've got to pick up my kid
from his Japanese lesson.
416
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:52,792
Here are the keys.
Look after the shop, will you?
417
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,479
Okay, no problem.
418
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:59,835
And don't let those kids in. Last
time thay nicked half the stuff.
419
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:00,995
Allright.
420
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:02,315
Bye.
421
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,151
Say something in Czech.
422
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:26,549
Ahoj.
423
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:36,116
Say something else.
424
00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:39,312
Knedlicke.
425
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,073
Put some music on.
426
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:43,111
Say something else.
427
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:47,032
I don't know anything else.
Don't ladder my stocking.
428
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,393
What do you mean - you don't
know anything. Arert you Czech?
429
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:51,993
Nope, Hungarian.
430
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:56,435
They told me at work that your
mother and grandmother are Czech
431
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:57,999
Nope, Hungarian.
432
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:00,714
A- ha, Hungarian.
433
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:04,996
So what's wrong with that?
434
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,232
I want a Czech.
435
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:10,628
What now?
436
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:12,275
Nothing.
437
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:16,197
How nothing? Are you crazy?!
Take your pants off!
438
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:19,039
I can't. It's gone down.
439
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,914
What about a United Europe?
440
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:27,075
Huh?
441
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,035
Countries of the
European Union...
442
00:42:32,720 --> 00:42:37,635
...we're all the same,
no borders, and such stuff.
443
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,199
What now?
444
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:49,514
That's it. That's the record.
445
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:02,754
Kerel Gott.
446
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,313
The Czech superstar.
447
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:20,072
Let's put some yellow
stars on the map!
448
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:24,432
To Europe!
449
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,118
To the Czech Republic!
450
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:30,918
To Hungary!
451
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,875
To a United Europe!
452
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:53,719
Time out!
453
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:04,070
The guy's a better present
than a vibrator.
454
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,270
But he leaves in the morning
455
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:10,079
and then it's just
the two of us again?
456
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:16,194
That's it. Think of him like
a talking vibrator.
457
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:52,917
This isn't what we agreed.
458
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,872
The element of surprise.
459
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:56,957
I'm not an SM fan.
460
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,271
You don't have to be.
461
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:01,352
This shit rubs.
462
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:03,279
What is it?
463
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:05,078
Pete likes it sweet?
464
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:07,430
I'm not Pete. I'm Kazimir.
465
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:10,069
So what do you
rhyme with, Kazimir?
466
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,669
Just take the fucking cuffs off!
467
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:14,552
You'll get extra.
468
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,032
It's my birthday. It's on me.
469
00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:21,195
I don't want money.
470
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:22,469
What, then?
471
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:24,113
Just pussy.
472
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:27,829
How much did you take from her?
473
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:29,359
I don't get you.
474
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:32,556
How much did she pay you?
475
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:34,115
Nothing.
476
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:35,674
What?
477
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,638
Me, pay a sucker for it?!
478
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:39,029
What did you say?!
479
00:47:39,240 --> 00:47:43,119
I said you're for free!
A free vibrator on the market!
480
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,198
Hey, that hurts. You're crazy!
481
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,190
He really tastes cheap.
482
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:51,910
Don't even think about it!
483
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,310
So why did you agree to it?
484
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,270
I like screwing babes.
485
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:09,112
How did you know I was a babe?
486
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,197
I showed him your photos.
487
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:12,389
From facebook?
488
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:14,158
From the excursion.
489
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:15,554
Polaroids?!
490
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,912
I'm crazy about Polaroids!
491
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,913
And the one with
the black plastic is legendary.
492
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:25,311
You've got no idea. It's rubber.
Ordinary rubber for a tractor.
493
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:28,949
I don't get you women,
what you put in yourself.
494
00:48:31,720 --> 00:48:33,153
You'll get it now!
495
00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:37,757
Don't even think about it!
You're crazy!
496
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,195
Lada, wasrt it
in the top drawer?
497
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,709
It hardly fitted in,
only diagonally!
498
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:44,478
You're really crazy.
499
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:53,831
We chase each other...
500
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,515
...like horses on a carousel
501
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:59,114
and we'll never catch
each other up.
502
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:00,548
Is she okay?
503
00:49:00,720 --> 00:49:02,915
Stella's a poet.
504
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:07,998
She has a poet's lips.
505
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:11,590
The lvan Goran
Kovacic 99' award.
506
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:13,912
Best young poet.
507
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:18,113
Poetess.
508
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:27,157
Shouldrt someone
light a cigarette?
509
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:52,918
Can I have a smoke?
510
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,716
How about uncuffing me?
511
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:05,871
Okay. But first, admit it.
512
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:07,433
What?
513
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,190
That you're not Kazimir.
514
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:12,710
What, then?
515
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:14,799
A vibrator.
516
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,113
What's the catch?!
517
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:19,639
About that.
518
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:21,998
I don't get it.
519
00:51:23,240 --> 00:51:25,959
You don't have to.
Just admit it.
520
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:27,759
OK. I'm a vibrator.
521
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:30,156
Can you say it like you mean it?
522
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:31,554
I'm a vibrator.
523
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:33,273
Did he mean it?
524
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:35,238
No, he didn't.
525
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:42,077
I'm a vibrator. Now can you...
526
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,558
We're not finished.
527
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:46,955
What else do I have to say?
528
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:49,956
I'm a...
529
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,275
...little vibrator.
530
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,476
What do you mean?!
531
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:00,999
No, you've got to say
you're a little vibrator!
532
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:02,235
But it's not true!
533
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:03,634
You say it yourself?!
534
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:05,239
I don't.
535
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,434
So, the cuffs stay?
536
00:52:09,720 --> 00:52:12,075
Okay, I'm a little vibrator.
537
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:14,997
Can you be more convincing?
538
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:17,430
How can I be more convincing
when it's not true!
539
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:19,119
Who says it's not true?!
540
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:20,275
All the girls!
541
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:23,114
The girls lie to the guys when
they say they have big ones!
542
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:24,952
Didrt you know?
543
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:27,110
Have you got a triangle?
A ruler?
544
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:30,719
How about calipers?
545
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:32,319
What do you want the ruler for?
546
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,471
To prove it to you.
Mathematically.
547
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:36,870
We know what
the average is, don't we?
548
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:39,720
Are you from the fucking
Bureau of Statistics?
549
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:43,915
OK, I'm a little vibrator.
550
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:56,159
So small that they
don't make them like that.
551
00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:01,954
So small that they
don't make them like that!
552
00:53:03,720 --> 00:53:06,553
Apart from for key rings.
553
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:10,756
Apart from for key rings.
554
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:22,755
I'm hungry. Anything to eat?
555
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:25,030
This isn't a bed and breakfast!
556
00:53:25,240 --> 00:53:28,949
We need to charge his batteries.
I'll rustle something up...
557
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:31,072
I'm going to have a shower.
558
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:54,955
You were just faking it?
559
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:57,114
Huh?
560
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,198
Those screams.
You were faking it?
561
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:09,196
Were you faking it or not?
562
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:13,629
Don't you know me?
- It was the same as with me.
563
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:16,877
It's better with you.
564
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:19,391
You're comparing us?!
565
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:21,352
Oh, come on, please...
566
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,352
You never scream with me.
567
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,558
As if that's what it's about.
568
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,031
So what's it about, then?
569
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:34,552
The real thing?
570
00:54:36,240 --> 00:54:39,232
You want to have the real thing?
571
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:41,277
Stela, calm down.
572
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,870
You screwed him?
573
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,550
Yes, just now.
574
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:53,114
I don't mean that!
You screwed him before?
575
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:46,711
You're obsessed with guys.
576
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:48,558
What are you on about?
577
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,638
Look at what you've got
framed on the wall.
578
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:54,035
That's the only thing
my old man gave me
579
00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:56,435
before he left
to get cigarettes.
580
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,512
Yeah, the nearest shop
was in Munich.
581
00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:01,756
But it was still a present.
582
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,678
A present?
583
00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:06,713
They were handing them out free.
584
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:10,037
The bastard didn't
spend a penny for it.
585
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:19,715
To recap...
586
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:23,513
...you like guys more than me,
587
00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:26,558
and you even have
one framed on the wall.
588
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:30,071
But it's Zagi the Squirrel.
589
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:32,558
Zagi's a male squirrel!
590
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:35,320
Arert all squirrels female?!
591
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:47,993
Where is he?
592
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:57,676
Stela, where is he?
593
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:02,238
Maybe his battery's gone flat.
594
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:09,199
These are yummy sandwiches!
595
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:12,476
All the more for us.
596
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:26,355
Hey, if you put an ice-cream
cone against your ear,
597
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:29,592
you can hear
the ice-cream factory!
598
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:03,389
What now?
599
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:05,353
Wait, wait!
600
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,795
No stopping til the job's done.
601
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:11,595
No, I'm serious, wait!
I've got a cramp.
602
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:13,438
So what?
You keep on getting cramps.
603
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:16,996
No, I mean it. I've got
a cramp in my leg! Ow!
604
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:28,113
I've heard a lot,
but never one like this.
605
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:31,989
How can you get a cramp
from shagging? Jesus...
606
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:36,191
It's like I've been
stabbed with a knife.
607
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:38,869
Have you got some sort
of childhood trauma?
608
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:40,678
Oh, fuck off.
609
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:33,318
Turn the light on.
610
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:50,189
You could walk
round the room a bit.
611
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:52,556
And I could sing a bit as well.
612
01:00:52,760 --> 01:00:55,274
Go on, so I can see you better.
613
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:59,069
To see you better...
614
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:03,032
You're obsessed with sex.
615
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:05,670
A- ha, it bothers you?
616
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:08,868
No.
617
01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:18,950
Where are you off to now?
618
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:23,749
Where are you off to now?
619
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:26,150
I'm calling Information.
620
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:32,795
It's ringing.
621
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:34,155
Oh, really?
622
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:40,712
Hello, Information? What should
we do about a leg cramp?
623
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:47,152
You don't give such information.
Thank you. Goodbye.
624
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:51,677
They say to call an ambulance.
625
01:01:51,880 --> 01:01:52,756
Yes?
626
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:54,951
Shall we call an ambulance?
627
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:57,117
No. It's gone.
628
01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:00,196
What do you want to do?
629
01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:02,231
I want to play cards.
630
01:02:02,440 --> 01:02:04,032
You want to play cards...
631
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:05,468
Yes.
632
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:08,480
Do you want to sing in the mike?
633
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:12,876
No, I want to play
cards on the table.
634
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:16,072
Then we'll play
cards on the table.
635
01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:13,111
Move over. I'm hot.
636
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:27,992
Can I ask you something?
637
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:29,389
A- ha.
638
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:36,790
Why do you guys always look like
you've been digging after sex?
639
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:40,749
It's easy for you.
You just lie down...
640
01:03:41,240 --> 01:03:44,391
...put your feet up
in the air and enjoy youself...
641
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:50,072
and I've got to work like a dog.
It's not easy to satisfy you.
642
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:04,989
Have a smoke. You haven't
had one for a long time.
643
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:07,077
I bloody deserve it.
644
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:11,518
What's the time?
645
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:14,631
Lt'll be about midday.
646
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,158
Oh, fuck!
647
01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:18,469
What?
648
01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:22,398
I'm so stupid. Such an idiot!
649
01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:23,555
What is it?
650
01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:26,115
I promised him. Fuck it.
651
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:30,590
I promised my boyfriend
to see him today.
652
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:34,030
I'm such an idiot!
653
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:37,311
You haven't broken up with him?
654
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:40,671
Don't act the fool.
I've told you everything.
655
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:46,079
He doesn't know. He
doesn't care. Got a problem?
656
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:48,429
Maybe I care.
657
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:54,750
Oh, sweetie, come off it...
658
01:04:59,120 --> 01:05:02,829
I hate it when I have to
rush like this... fuck it.
659
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:14,795
Oh, stay a little bit longer.
660
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:17,429
Sweetie, you know I can't.
661
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:24,435
He rang me, for fuck's sake.
662
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:27,951
If you're hungry,
there's a McDonald's salad
663
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:30,554
in the fridge from yesterday.
664
01:05:30,640 --> 01:05:32,073
Alright? Come on.
665
01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:38,908
Leave the keys of the flat
downstairs in my letterbox.
666
01:05:39,120 --> 01:05:40,838
Come on...
what's the matter?
667
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:41,950
Nothing.
668
01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:45,232
Cut the dramatics, please, okay?
669
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:50,112
Hi, sweetie...
I'm on my way.
670
01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:53,435
Bye, bye.
671
01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:05,830
'Scuse me...
672
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:07,673
Jesus, you scared me.
673
01:07:07,920 --> 01:07:09,478
Sorry, didn't mean to.
674
01:07:09,680 --> 01:07:11,750
I broke its cap off.
675
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:15,750
And a boletus without a cap
is like a pecker without a head.
676
01:07:15,960 --> 01:07:17,632
A 'pecker'? What's that?!
677
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:20,798
It's a kind of picker.
Picker, pecker. Get it?
678
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:22,956
You Croats complicate stuff.
679
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:24,070
You Serbian?
680
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:25,549
Yes.
681
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:27,995
So what're you
doing in the wood?
682
01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:30,833
The war's been
over for twenty years.
683
01:07:30,920 --> 01:07:32,797
Nobody'll do anything to you.
684
01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:37,352
You wouldn't believe it but
Serbs are holidaying here.
685
01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:40,717
And no-one shoves
their cars into the sea.
686
01:07:40,920 --> 01:07:42,035
What's your name?
687
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:43,434
Bella.
688
01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:45,995
And what would you do
if it doesn't suit you?
689
01:07:46,200 --> 01:07:47,076
Why?
690
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:50,989
Your name's Bella
and what if you're no looker.
691
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:54,916
So you're into mushrooms?
692
01:07:55,120 --> 01:07:58,715
Not me, but my boyfriend's
a mushroom freak.
693
01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:02,278
Imagine, this is
my first trip to Zagreb.
694
01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:05,592
I spend the whole night rattling
about in a sleeping car,
695
01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:09,310
and he gets me off the train
and straight into the woods.
696
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:14,640
And I thought I'm in for some
romance, breakfast on the lawn,
697
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:19,271
but instead I'm greeted by his
pals from their mushroom club.
698
01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:20,509
What's the name?
699
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:21,789
My boyfriend's?
700
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:23,638
The mushroom club's.
701
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:24,750
Pickers.
702
01:08:24,960 --> 01:08:27,155
Not pickers - peckers!
703
01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:34,513
As if you'll teach me whether
they're pickers or peckers!
704
01:08:35,040 --> 01:08:37,600
We call them 'dongs'.
705
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:39,796
What the fuck's a 'dong'?
706
01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:42,318
So? What's your mars name?
707
01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:43,430
Jole.
708
01:08:43,680 --> 01:08:46,035
Just 'Jole', or something else?
709
01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:49,198
I call him Jole.
His name's Joza.
710
01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:51,631
Joza. And what else?
711
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:53,159
Joza Kobescak.
712
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,672
Fuck me!
713
01:08:56,160 --> 01:08:58,594
Fuck me!
714
01:08:59,160 --> 01:09:03,119
Or fucking fuck me,
as you Serbs would say!
715
01:09:03,880 --> 01:09:06,348
The biggest loser
among the pickers
716
01:09:06,520 --> 01:09:08,556
gets the best
Serbian broad!
717
01:09:08,760 --> 01:09:10,637
I'm going to kill myself!
718
01:09:11,360 --> 01:09:15,831
Look over there,
that's a fly agaric.
719
01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:18,190
Bring it over so
I can eat it and die!
720
01:09:18,280 --> 01:09:21,477
If Joza Kobescak's
screwing you, I have to die!
721
01:09:21,680 --> 01:09:23,193
Where did he pull you?
722
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:26,631
In Belgrade. At a mushroom
congress. I was a hostess.
723
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:28,159
Who paid for his trip?
724
01:09:28,360 --> 01:09:30,510
The Croatian
Mushroom Association.
725
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:32,916
That ass-licking crony!
726
01:09:33,480 --> 01:09:36,677
Us 'Boletes' are 30 years older
and the Association
727
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:39,633
won't even pay
our electricity bill!
728
01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:43,756
Can you help me?
729
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:47,510
Me, help his broad!
That's treason, man!
730
01:09:47,720 --> 01:09:50,996
If you could just tell me where
the parking area is.
731
01:09:51,200 --> 01:09:53,475
I went to pee,
but I got a bit lost.
732
01:09:53,680 --> 01:09:55,636
Havert you got a mobile phone?
733
01:09:55,880 --> 01:09:59,111
Yes, but I don't know how to
explain where I am.
734
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:01,151
A wood's a wood.
735
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:01,672
O.K.
736
01:10:01,760 --> 01:10:03,113
Do you want his number?
737
01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:05,834
I've got Joza Kobescak's number.
738
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:09,031
What did you do to him?
739
01:10:09,240 --> 01:10:10,355
To who?
740
01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:14,997
Joza. What did you do that
he wants to kill you?
741
01:10:16,520 --> 01:10:17,714
Whaaat?!
742
01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:22,719
Bella, Bellissima...
743
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:26,117
...your Joza...
744
01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:29,233
...wants to kill you!
745
01:10:30,080 --> 01:10:31,991
You understand Serbian?
746
01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:34,794
Are you mad?!
What's up with you?!
747
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:38,993
So how many Pickers
are in the wood?
748
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:42,837
Well, ummm...
749
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:47,358
Fifteen.
750
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:49,631
And how many
of them are girls?
751
01:10:49,840 --> 01:10:51,159
None. Apart from me.
752
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:53,191
And this seems normal to you?!
753
01:10:53,400 --> 01:10:54,833
What's the problem?
754
01:10:55,040 --> 01:11:00,478
At this time of year, the wood
is deadly for women.
755
01:11:00,720 --> 01:11:02,597
Because of wild animals?
756
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:08,391
Ticks. You know what a tick is?
What do you Serbs call ticks?
757
01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:12,156
We call them ticks
for fuck's sake.
758
01:11:12,320 --> 01:11:13,548
What else would we call them?
759
01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:16,194
Eucelibia trebix.
That's its scientific name.
760
01:11:16,400 --> 01:11:19,073
It kills in seven days.
761
01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:20,599
It boils your brain...
762
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:23,837
...your eyes fall out,
it eats up your lungs...
763
01:11:24,080 --> 01:11:26,992
...and you get delirious
and scream from pain!
764
01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:29,555
Nothing helps you.
Not even an induced coma!
765
01:11:29,800 --> 01:11:31,756
Why the hell should I care?
766
01:11:31,960 --> 01:11:34,554
The tick is fatal
only for women.
767
01:11:35,080 --> 01:11:37,674
It sucks on guys too,
but it isn't dangerous.
768
01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:40,075
It doesn't give guys poison
or viruses.
769
01:11:40,320 --> 01:11:42,788
It gets a bit red and stings,
but that's it.
770
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:45,514
Surely I'm not
that unlucky to get it?
771
01:11:45,720 --> 01:11:49,872
I don't want to be indiscreet,
but when did you last pee?
772
01:11:50,080 --> 01:11:51,559
Half-an-hour ago.
773
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:55,036
That's great, because
the first hour is critical.
774
01:11:55,320 --> 01:11:59,154
If you get it off in the
first hour, you'll be fine.
775
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:01,758
Where did you pee?
776
01:12:02,120 --> 01:12:04,554
In the bloody wood, where else?
777
01:12:04,760 --> 01:12:05,670
And how?
778
01:12:05,880 --> 01:12:08,792
What do you mean 'how'?
There's only one way.
779
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:10,228
...Standing?
780
01:12:10,480 --> 01:12:14,439
We Serbian women piss crouching.
781
01:12:14,600 --> 01:12:17,160
Do Croatian women
piss standing up?
782
01:12:17,320 --> 01:12:18,992
They do if they're
picking mushrooms,
783
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:21,196
because they know
the risk of crouching.
784
01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:23,430
It gives the tick open access.
785
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:25,909
It just strolls up
to its destination.
786
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:27,513
And that is?
787
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,955
I'll give you three guesses.
788
01:12:31,920 --> 01:12:33,069
C'mon...
789
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:36,676
You mean it sticks to...
790
01:12:37,920 --> 01:12:41,879
Yup. 98 percent
are found on the pussy.
791
01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:46,632
I hope you're fully shaved.
792
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:49,319
What do you mean?
793
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:55,717
At the nudist beach last year
thay called me 'Winnie'.
794
01:12:55,920 --> 01:12:57,353
The bear?
795
01:12:57,560 --> 01:12:58,959
I don't shave at all.
796
01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:00,110
And why?
797
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:02,151
Because of Joza. He likes it.
798
01:13:02,360 --> 01:13:06,478
Not just Joza. Ticks, too.
They love a bush, you see.
799
01:13:06,880 --> 01:13:11,271
It's warm. It feels safe,
because it's difficult to see.
800
01:13:11,480 --> 01:13:13,152
So what should I do?
801
01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:18,036
Get Joza to throw himself into
the jungle, machete and all.
802
01:13:20,160 --> 01:13:21,991
That's not funny at all.
803
01:13:22,200 --> 01:13:24,316
Turn round, and don't peek.
804
01:13:43,880 --> 01:13:45,871
I can't concentrate.
805
01:14:03,600 --> 01:14:04,919
Fuck it!
806
01:14:05,120 --> 01:14:06,712
What? Have you found one?
807
01:14:06,920 --> 01:14:11,436
I can't see. It's too thick. Call
Jole and tell him where I am.
808
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:15,116
Okay, but what if it's too late?
It might take him
809
01:14:15,440 --> 01:14:17,670
more than
half-an-hour to get here.
810
01:14:17,880 --> 01:14:21,111
OK, OK... Come on, then...
What did you say your name was?
811
01:14:21,320 --> 01:14:22,355
I didn't.
812
01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:25,349
What's your name,
for fuck's sake?!
813
01:14:25,640 --> 01:14:27,312
Franjo.
814
01:14:27,920 --> 01:14:28,989
Not 'Franjo'?!
815
01:14:29,240 --> 01:14:34,109
What's wrong with Franjo?
Don't worry, I'm not that Franjo.
816
01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:36,392
I'm Franjo Cupac.
817
01:14:36,560 --> 01:14:38,630
Well, Franjo, time
to get down to work!
818
01:14:38,840 --> 01:14:42,435
Me, dig in Joza's pussy?!
Out of the question!
819
01:14:42,640 --> 01:14:45,791
Franjo, don't screw around.
Get to work!
820
01:14:46,400 --> 01:14:51,155
But if you tell Joza,
821
01:14:51,360 --> 01:14:55,353
I'll come to Belgrade
with the whole mushroom club!
822
01:14:55,440 --> 01:14:58,557
Franjo, you're full of shit!
Shut up and work!
823
01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:07,150
If you're near-sighted, why
don't you wear glasses?!
824
01:15:07,400 --> 01:15:09,118
Well, it's dense!
825
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:14,789
What's so funny?! Tell me so
we can both have a laugh.
826
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:17,275
You're tickling me.
827
01:15:18,840 --> 01:15:21,912
Come on, find it,
before it's too late!
828
01:15:22,160 --> 01:15:23,752
So there you are,
you little fuck!
829
01:15:23,960 --> 01:15:24,756
Have you found it?!
830
01:15:25,040 --> 01:15:25,916
Yes.
831
01:15:26,120 --> 01:15:29,271
Pull it out!
I've got tweezers in my bag!
832
01:15:29,480 --> 01:15:31,391
Bella, we have a problem.
833
01:15:31,600 --> 01:15:34,831
You see,
if I force it, I mean...
834
01:15:35,120 --> 01:15:37,554
...if I pull it off,
its head stays,
835
01:15:37,720 --> 01:15:40,359
which sprays poison
under the skin. Get it?
836
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:42,357
So what shall we do?
837
01:15:46,480 --> 01:15:47,629
This!
838
01:15:51,160 --> 01:15:55,756
Franjo Cupac will sacrifice
himself and take the tick.
839
01:15:57,000 --> 01:16:04,236
Because that's us Croats. Gene-
rousity and sacrifice. Get it?
840
01:16:04,960 --> 01:16:08,316
Got it. Do you think it will
really move onto you?
841
01:16:08,520 --> 01:16:11,876
Yes. But we need to give it time
At least ten minutes.
842
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:14,719
Okay. So what
are you waiting for?
843
01:16:22,080 --> 01:16:23,877
Push harder.
844
01:16:26,440 --> 01:16:28,954
Don't just shake about.
845
01:16:30,600 --> 01:16:33,273
Give it a chance, a little time.
846
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:40,994
Jole.
847
01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:48,198
I'm here.
848
01:16:49,480 --> 01:16:55,919
Yes, I'm a little out of breath.
Fresh air... Flowers...
849
01:16:56,400 --> 01:17:02,839
Boletes, big boletus...
I mean puffballs...
850
01:17:03,440 --> 01:17:06,671
Bye, I'm coming... coooming...
851
01:17:09,760 --> 01:17:15,392
Listen, Franjo, don't move until
10 min is out or I'll cut it off
852
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:21,436
You couldn't hold it! You loser!
853
01:17:21,640 --> 01:17:23,392
Why are you shouting?!
Everything's fine.
854
01:17:23,640 --> 01:17:24,959
Did it move onto you?
855
01:17:25,160 --> 01:17:26,070
Yes.
856
01:17:26,280 --> 01:17:27,030
Liar!
857
01:17:27,280 --> 01:17:30,829
I felt it prick me!
And it's a bit red.
858
01:17:31,040 --> 01:17:32,075
Swear.
859
01:17:32,360 --> 01:17:33,270
Cross my heart.
860
01:17:33,480 --> 01:17:34,708
Swear harder.
861
01:17:35,040 --> 01:17:36,996
Cross my heart
as Tito's Pioneer.
862
01:17:37,200 --> 01:17:40,556
'Tito's Pioneer'?!
What kind of crap is that?
863
01:17:40,760 --> 01:17:46,073
That's how we would swear the
truth. For real. As Pioneers.
864
01:17:57,000 --> 01:17:58,956
Eh, Joza, it's Franjo...
865
01:17:59,480 --> 01:18:02,950
No, fuck you and your club!
866
01:18:03,560 --> 01:18:06,711
You won't be taking your balls
for a walk through Belgrade
867
01:18:06,920 --> 01:18:08,956
at the taxpayer's expense.
868
01:18:09,800 --> 01:18:13,509
I've found your woman.
Bella. Come and get her.
869
01:18:15,720 --> 01:18:20,840
That's right. Hill 9, next to
Rabbit Shit... Bye.
870
01:18:30,480 --> 01:18:31,959
Bye.
871
01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:40,030
And you know what?
872
01:18:41,040 --> 01:18:44,953
There are no ticks in the wood
now. It's not their season.
59956
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