Original subtitles

[Upbeat theme music]

Arriving at the junction of harewood Avenue

and the high street, our walk takes us left,

into the high street itself.

Morning.

Interesting features to note are

a fine mock tudor frontage to the video shop,

a striking orange fascia to the job centre,

and 15p off frozen peas at the mini mart.

While stocks last.

[Carole] Morning, Mrs. Bidmead.

What's all this then?

It's a face in the crowd competition.

It's to encourage people to use the centre.

Oh I see, another one of brittas' daft ideas, is it?

Mr. Brittas does not have daft ideas.

Mr. Brittas always has good ideas.

He's an ideas man.

Oh yes?

Like his archery classes for the elderly.

That was not Mr. Brittas' fault.

That arrow could've gone anywhere.

And I happen to know that he paid for the funeral

out of his own pocket.

So this fella wins a years free admission

to all our facilities.

And a magnificent prize it is, too.

A man would kill for a prize like that.

I'm sorry, I'm not having it.

He's not using my sauna for free.

Can I have a pen please Carole?

Will one of Ben's felt tips do?

Or crayons?

Or magic markers?

Indelible, water-washable, they come in three colours,

blue, black and red.

This will be fine.

No one asked me about this.

Mrs. Bidmead, have you taken leave of your senses?

After a further 642.75 metres,

we pass the inglenook home for the elderly,

so tragically destroyed by a stray flaming arrow.

[Studio audience laughs]

The building is now being restored to its former glory.

-Excuse me please, young man. -[Tapping]

I've got to come through, I'm afraid.

You're in the way.

We must have accurate measurements.

This, then, is frenchman's hill.

[Studio audience laughs]

Famous for its French men, I suppose.

Oh my god.

[Studio audience laughs]

-[Crashing] -[Baby cries]

So, as we near the end of walk number 38

from the precinct to the gyratory system,

one is reminded of mahatma Gandhi's famous words.

Oi!

Aren't you the pillock who runs the leisure centre?

[Studio audience laughs]

I should leave that if I were you, Colin.

You're only making it worse.

You saw it, Carole.

That was a piece of pure, premeditated vandalism.

[Children babble]

Oh, stop it Ben!

Now kiss and make up.

Come along, darling, big hugs.

That's right, breathe deeply,

breathe deeply, good boy.

What a caring mother you are, if I may say so, Carole.

Oh, thank you, Colin.

I'm giving Ben chicken pox at the moment.

-[Studio audience laughs] -I'm sorry?

Well Ben's never had it.

The twins have but Ben hasn't and it's very important

that he gets it out of the way while he's still a child.

So I've invited his little friend Sophie around

as she's absolutely covered in spots and highly contagious.

So, with a bit of luck,

he might come down with a really serious infection.

[Studio audience laughs]

I am lost in admiration for you, Carole.

Thank you, Colin.

Navinder says she does it twice a day.

Meditation is supposed to relieve stress and solve problems.

I don't see how sitting around with your eyes closed

can solve your problems.

It's a load of old nonsense.

Shh.

It's alright, she can't hear me.

Yes she can.

Well I'm gonna join a meditation class this morning.

It could help reduce my anxiety levels.

But you're down to do table tennis.

Gosh I feel better for that.

Relaxed, calm, filled with a deep sense of inner peace.

What am I down for this morning, Gavin?

Uh, martial arts.

-Great. -[Slap]

[Studio audience laughs]

Interesting walk, Mr. Brittas?

Incident packed, Colin.

Though not interesting per se.

Certainly not as interesting as walk number 27.

Ah, yes, the roundabouts of whitbury,

their verges and their bollards.

[Studio audience laughs]

Fascinating stuff.

A heady brew for any Walker.

Give me a hand with this, will you?

Certainly, Mr. Brittas.

I've done two more walks myself, Mr. Brittas.

For your research.

Good man, debrief in my office, 10 minutes.

Will call, Mr. Brittas.

I've also rigged up the face in the crowd display.

But I'm afraid I have to report that Mrs. Bidmead

has defaced the poster.

Dear oh dear oh dear.

Shall I call the police?

Not yet, Colin.

I'd better look into the matter first.

If it should come to court, Mr. Brittas,

Carole here was a witness to the whole event.

Is this true, Carole?

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

In fact it was Carole who lent her the pen.

-Really, Carole? -[Studio audience laughs]

Well I suppose-

so you are in fact an accessory to this alleged

act of vandalism?

Well, I suppose-

I would be careful what you say, Carole.

I shall of course be holding a full internal inquiry,

but I'd strongly advise you not to say anything at all

'til you've spoken to your legal representative.

-[Tapping] -Yes, of course Mr. Brittas.

I tell you, I'm dead on my feet.

I've walked miles and miles and miles.

He won't let me use the car anymore.

Why not?

Oh, it's Gordon's walking for health programme,

it's killing me.

He had this stupid idea,

he put it to the European commission,

it's now a euro directive.

He's got to find 50 interesting walks in whitbury.

The only interesting walk in whitbury

is the walk out of whitbury.

[Sighs] I can't take much more.

Do you want to try some of the green ones?

-No, thanks. -[Studio audience laughs]

Have you thought of joining in the meditation week?

They've got a swami coming in.

No. I tried it once years ago.

Didn't do anything for me.

-Pills are more reliable. -[Pills rattle]

[Studio audience laughs]

Has the swami arrived yet?

Carole?

We haven't had any deliveries this morning.

No, the swami.

He's the hindu meditation teacher.

Why is he called a swami?

It means master, Gavin.

He's from the east.

When he comes, Tim,

would you take him to the dance studio?

I've got jiu jitsu.

Carole, what's the matter?

You seem a bit upset.

I don't think I can say anything

without my lawyer present.

What?

I'm being investigated.

Investigated about what?

Morning, love.

Um, welcome to whitbury new town leisure centre,

how may she help you?

[Studio audience laughs]

Harry Johnson, I'm here to run meditation classes.

Oh, great, Tim whistler.

I'm really looking forward to them.

I'll show you the room.

Hey hey hey, I thought you said he was from the east?

He is, scarborough.

[Studio audience laughs]

Hello.

It's me.

Is this you?

Yes, it's me!

Who do I see about the prize?

[Studio audience laughs]

Got them old maps you wanted.

Excellent!

And Brussels phoned to see how you're getting on

with your walks for health.

Apparently, they're getting a very good response

from leisure centres throughout Europe.

Good.

There's mad buggers wandering all over the place.

[Studio audience laughs]

And the Germans have already marched through Poland.

Yes, alright Julie.

That's the commentary for walk number 38.

More?

I'm gonna induce myself, banging away on that keyboard

all day every day.

Uh, Julie.

What?

Send a copy to the liaison officer

for the ramblers association.

I'm keeping them au fait with developments.

Yeah, yeah.

Right, Colin, your two walks please.

Great, Mr. Brittas.

The first one has something for nature lovers

as well as those of a scientific bend,

as we perambulate from the sewage works to the abattoir.

[Studio audience laughs]

Hmm, might have limited appeal, Colin.

What about the second one?

Ah, now that one is very different.

That one runs from the abattoir to the sewage works.

[Studio audience laughs]

Gives you an entirely different perspective.

And you've taken down some notes, have you?

Full, detailed notes, Mr. Brittas.

Unfortunately, this bit here

might be a little bit difficult to read,

you see, as I was jotting down my notes in the offal room,

[studio audience laughs]

I happened to step on a piece of stray bovine liver,

which is a lot slippier than you might think,

and found myself inexorably propelled

into a vat of steaming entrails.

[Studio audience laughs]

Hence the slight discoloration round there.

Colin, I'll read what I can

and give you an answer by Thursday.

Whatever you think, Mr. Brittas.

You see, what we're concentrating on now, Colin,

is historical walks.

Whitbury through the ages, whitbury in bygone days,

with a whitbury.

See this map here?

This is whitbury before the leisure centre was even built.

Look, just fields, orch...

And what's this?

A public right of way?

Colin, we have a problem.

[Studio audience laughs]

So, if St. Mark's is over there,

and the railway line is over there,

that means that public right of way

must come around there then through reception-

[bell dings]

What is it, Carole?

Speak up.

Well I know you said I wasn't to say anything

'til I'd spoken to my legal representative, Mr. Brittas.

That was only with regards of matters

pertaining to my inquiry vis a vis the poster.

This is to do with the poster, Mr. Brittas.

Right, better keep stum, get a lawyer.

-[Studio audience laughs] -But it's him.

[Mr. Brittas clears his throat]

Hello there.

You're Carole's solicitor, are you?

No, I'm a plumber.

Uh, Carole, I don't think this man is qualified

to represent you.

No, no, is this you?

It's me.

[Studio audience laughs]

Sorry?

The photograph there.

That's me.

I'm the face in the crowd.

[Mr. Brittas clears his throat]

[Studio audience laughs]

Got any proof of that?

What do you mean proof?

That's me with my family.

I've only got your word for that.

I'll need some sort of corroboration.

[Studio audience laughs]

Well use your eyes, it's bloody obvious.

Don't adopt that tone with me, thank you very much.

An extremely valuable prize is on offer

and I need to know I've got the right person

and frankly you've done your claim no good at all

by coming in here and posing as her lawyer.

[Studio audience laughs]

Come on, Colin, we've got a path to follow.

No, I'd much rather be a chef.

Ooh, stressful.

Oh, I panic a lot.

Well, my problem is, you see I've got,

I've got anoraknaphobia.

Ah, you're frightened of spiders?

No, I'm frightened of men in anoraks.

-[Studio audience laughs] -Don't be daft.

You can't be frightened of men in anoraks.

Oh, well I am.

I used to have these nightmares when I was little.

The child psychiatrist said it was to do with death.

The grim reaper, the hooded figure, anoraks.

I just panic.

Well, meditation could certainly help with that.

It can give you a sense of inner peace.

You could look on it as a kind of stress manageme...

Ma, mah, moon maiden!

[Studio audience laughs]

And then it goes over this way, through this door,

and it then it goes straight on through this wall.

Ooh, Colin, it's gonna have to come down.

But behind this wall is the ladies' toilet.

It can't be helped, Colin.

This is a public footpath right of way

and it's my legal obligation to make sure

the public have unfettered access to it.

For a start, I'm sure the ramblers association

will want to exercise their rights.

Ramble through the ladies'?

Indeed, Colin.

And you know what they're like.

A militant bunch.

As soon as they find out about it,

they'll be through here like a dose of salt.

Ah, but how are they gonna find out?

I'm gonna have to tell them, Colin.

[Studio audience laughs]

Moon maiden, you're the only woman I ever really wanted.

I spent years looking for you.

I'd given up hope.

Oh, come on.

It was just a one night stand.

Oh really, that night was magical.

I was devastated when you'd left in the morning

without saying a word.

I didn't know where you'd gone.

Grimsby, I think.

I had a holiday job at the canning factory.

You do remember that night, don't you?

Oh, yes.

Most of it.

I expect.

What do you remember?

Well, we met at a party, didn't we?

No, I took you to the party.

We met at a folk club.

Did we?

And the bonfire on the beach.

Oh yes, and there was lots of singing and dancing.

Yeah, yeah.

We clicked straight away, didn't we?

Well not straight away, I mean,

we waited 'til after the party.

[Studio audience laughs]

I see what you mean.

And you remember on the beach,

everyone waving lighters in the air

and giving us their blessing?

Yeah, they did that sort of thing in those days.

Was that when that old hippy friend of yours

pretended to marry us?

The reverend Jackson, yeah.

[Laughs] Reverend Jackson, why did you call him that?

'Cause that's what he was.

[Studio audience laughs]

Still is.

Actually, he's the bishop of maidstone now.

-[Studio audience laughs] -You mean it was real?

Well of course.

You're my wife, moon maiden.

[Studio audience laughs]

But I can't be.

I mean, what about Gordon?

And the children?

I, I've got a ring.

I've been to marriage guidance.

Not with me.

No.

What was your name, by the way?

[Scoffs] Harry.

Harry Johnson?

Pleased to meet you, Harry.

I'm Helen brittas.

No, I suppose I'm Helen Johnson-brittas.

So you're saying there's a public footpath

running through here

and anyone can walk along it?

Precisely.

Without paying to come in, Mr. Brittas?

Ah, now we're at the nub of it.

Any member of the public

wishing to use leisure centre facilities

must pay in the usual way.

Any member of the public

wishing to use the public right of way

does not need to pay in any way.

But any member of the public using the public right of way

and then straying into leisure centre facilities

would then have to pay in the usual way.

Which is why Colin is down there at this precise moment,

marking out the route clearly.

It runs through reception, through the staff restroom-

through the staff restroom?

Hey, that's cool.

Through the ladies' toilets.

They're the ladies' toilets.

Now that is what you call an inconvenience.

Nice one, Tim, yo!

What's got into you?

Inner peace.

What if someone wants to spend a penny?

Ah, then they have to spend �1.80,

the normal admission fee.

No, I mean what if you're in there

and people start walking through?

Ah, now that is why I'm introducing a system

of stewarding along the route

so that, in addition to your normal jobs,

you'll all be marshals or stewards

for your own particular area.

[Knocking]

Is this the silly internal inquiry

you've been talking about?

No, it is not, Mrs. Bidmead.

Regrettably, I've had to put that on hold

'cause another matter has superseded it,

but I will be resuming it in due course.

You know you're a very sad man.

[Studio audience laughs]

Well I'm not very happy with you, Mrs. Bidmead.

Well what have you called me up here for then?

I'm not going over old ground.

Gavin will fill you in later.

Now that really would be a first, yo!

[Studio audience laughs]

Are you on drugs?

No, I've been meditating.

[Studio audience laughs]

Look, there you are.

It's me.

Satisfied now?

How dare you burst into my office in a semi-naked state.

Who do you think you are?

Is this you?

It's me, I'm him.

Can I be something?

I'm sorry, you bear no resemblance at all

to the man in the photograph.

For a start he's been swimming, he's got wet hair.

[Studio audience laughs]

Well would it help if I wet myself?

[Studio audience laughs]

Gavin, escort this man from the premises please.

He's an obvious imposter.

Do this sort of thing for a living, do you?

What sort of thing?

I suppose you're one of those professional look-a-likes.

Well frankly you're no good at it.

You're supposed to look like someone famous.

Gavin, Chuck him out.

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

I'll be back.

Who as, Princess Diana?

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

[Jackhammer smashes up ground]

Colin?

Colin!

Cup of tea for you?

A cup of tea would be most welcome.

I've been here since 4am.

I'm clearing the path of all obstructions.

I hope I didn't disturb you at all.

No, not at all.

I've been up most of the night with Ben.

Actually, I'm rather pleased.

He's got the chickenpox.

Oh, good.

He's covered in spots.

He's more spot than Ben at the moment.

Ah but from now on, Carole, he'll be immune.

He's building up his antibodies.

It's something I try to do myself.

What is?

Antibody building.

I try to give myself a disease on a regular basis

so that I can build up an immunity to it.

As I always say, a disease a day keeps the doctor away.

[Studio audience laughs]

You're giving Ben a fine start in life.

Thank you.

As a matter of fact, I've got something for him.

That's very kind.

-Here we are. -Oh?

[Cardboard rustles]

Foot and mouth disease, swine fever, Anthrax.

Sorry?

I've had them all myself, Carole,

and if you'd like Ben to have them,

I'd be only too pleased to give him a dose.

-[Studio audience laughs] -No, no no, thank you.

It's very kind, but no thank you.

As you wish.

But if you are thinking of vaccinations in the future,

remember I can lay my hand on most diseases.

[Studio audience laughs]

Meditation really sets me up for the day.

Fills me with get up and go.

Well it hasn't filled Tim with get up and go, has it?

It's filled him with sit down and stop.

[Studio audience laughs]

Tim, can you help please?

Oh, no thanks, I'm fine.

I'm preparing for the class.

I'm emptying my head.

Well that won't take long, will it.

Look, just get off your butt and help Linda.

Calm down, Gavin.

What you need is some stress management.

Yeah well if I wasn't management

I wouldn't get the stress, would I?

Oh, hello.

Is this where they're doing the meditation class?

Yes.

[Tim] Are you going to join us?

Well yes, I thought I might give it a try.

You know him, don't you, the teacher?

Yes we have met, under different circumstances.

You'll find he's very good, very thorough.

Gets down to the nitty gritty.

Yeah.

-[Studio audience laughs] -What was it he called you?

Oh, I don't know.

Moon maiden, yes that was it.

Why did he call you that?

Well, years ago at a wedding,

somebody said moon maiden

and apparently I did.

[Studio audience laughs]

I have spoken to the ramblers association

and they will be exercising their right to walk the path

during the course of the afternoon.

I had no choice.

I realise your position as borough engineer means that

you've got to approve all alterations to the centre,

but I was faced with a legal obligation.

What else could I do?

I will treat that suggestion with the contempt it deserves.

[Phone slams down]

I'm doing this tape of yours, walk number 38.

Good.

Now d'you want me to type it all out?

Yes please.

Including,

"oi, are you the pillock who runs the leisure centre?"

[Studio audience laughs]

Pardon?

And how d'you spell urgh?

Julie, what are you talking about?

You know the bit where he thumps you.

Julie, use your common sense.

Confine yourself to my descriptive passages, please.

Right.

Oh, by the way, there's a pervert running amok

in the ladies' toilets.

[Studio audience laughs]

Now come on, Ben, pink's a lovely colour.

It suits you.

Oh, don't argue with mummy.

Just put on the calamine lotion.

[Cupboard door slams]

[Studio audience laughs]

Oh, Mr. Brittas.

Not now, Carole, I've had a perv alert.

Oi.

[Studio audience laughs]

[Water splashes]

Now that is just plain pathetic.

[Studio audience laughs]

I want the prize.

And I want it now.

[Drilling and screeching]

Colin!

-[Screaming] -[Studio audience laughs]

Colin!

[Yelling and crying]

Colin!

I'm on top of it now, Mr. Brittas.

I'm getting on famously with this little beauty.

[Gasping]

Can you hear that, Mr. Brittas?

Colin, I've just had a report

there's a pervert in the ladies'.

I'll get him out for you, Mr. Brittas.

No, Colin, they think you're the pervert.

[Knocking]

It's alright, madam, there's nothing to be alarmed about.

My deputy manager was merely sawing his way

through the toilets.

You see, I'm afraid that you are at this precise moment

on a public right of way.

But you can come out now, it's quite safe.

[Dripping]

I'm telling ya.

I want it. Now.

-[Screaming] -[Studio audience laughs]

He has blown it up out of all proportion.

Yes, he does that.

He is so petty, small-minded, child...

I'm sorry, I shouldn't talk about your husband like that.

Oh, it's okay.

He's not my husband.

Well of course he is my husband.

We are married, but not legally.

What do you mean?

There's someone else. My first...

No, my first first husband.

I'd forgotten all about him.

It turns out I'm a bigamist.

I've met the man I was married to before I was married

to the man I was married to before I was married

to Gordon.

Sorry, you've lost me.

Yeah, I've lost me too, but it has its good side.

It means I'm probably not married to Gordon.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I don't know what I'm gonna do. What would you do?

Do you mean, would I leave Gordon?

Yeah.

And go off with someone else?

A man I had forgotten all about?

A man who is in fact a complete stranger?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd leave Gordon.

[Studio audience laughs]

I hope that lady'll be alright.

The paramedic was exaggerating.

People recover from catatonic states all the time.

Now put that arrow down there, please,

to signify the path goes into the restroom.

Drop that, Ben.

That's a silly place to put a thermometer.

[Studio audience laughs]

Right, Carole, if that phoney lawyer comes back,

fraudulently claiming the prize,

I wanna know about it.

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

Mr. Brittas, I know your inquiry is on hold,

but you see, it wasn't my pen.

It was Ben's pen.

Whoa, trying to lay the blame on a child, Carole.

It won't wash, you know.

It will, Mr. Brittas, it's water-washable.

It's gone.

-Where's the poster gone? -I don't know, Mr. Brittas.

I haven't seen anything.

I've been here taking Ben's temperature.

Right, Carole, a tannoy announcement please.

Any member of staff who knows anything

about the disappearance of the poster

is to report to me immediately.

I'm prepared to Grant a two hour amnesty

and within that period I expect Mrs. Bidmead to own up.

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

[Hammering]

[Over loudspeaker] Hello. Any member of staff who knows

anything about the disappearance of the poster

is to report to Mr. Brittas immediately.

He is prepared to Grant two hours amnesty

-to anyone who owns up. -[Smashing glass]

[Fizzing]

Harry.

Harry, Harry.

Harry, Harry Harry.

[Studio audience laughs]

Harry, Harry Harry.

[All] [Chanting] Harry, Harry Harry.

Harry, Harry Harry.

Harry, Harry Harry.

[Fizzing]

Change agenda.

Arms wide open, head back.

Little bit lower.

Steph, you're okay.

[Studio audience laughs]

That's it, that's it!

So Mrs. Bidmead didn't take it?

Not as far as I know, Mr. Brittas, no.

Right, everybody, positions.

I might have known it's you.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

So now you've added theft

to your list of criminal activities, have you?

That poster is leisure centre property.

It's also central to an inquiry that I'm currently...

You've really done it now.

How can I continue my inquiry

now that you've destroyed the vital evidence?

You are guilty of perverting the course of justice.

So I have no alternative but to ban you

from this leisure centre for the rest of your natural life.

Mr. Brittas, I've hit a bit of a snag.

Unfortunately, Gavin, I can't close it off.

It's a public right of way.

But there's foot and mouth disease in there

and swine fever.

And Anthrax.

Anthrax is lethal!

No, no, Gavin.

It's not that bad.

I was a bit chesty with it for the first week or two,

and of course the malignant pustules were a bit irritating,

especially the one right on the end of my-

yes, thank you, Colin.

[Studio audience laughs]

So you're telling me that in there at the moment

these serums are inert?

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

Inert-ish.

-[Studio audience laughs] -Oh my god!

Right, Carole, no more admissions from now on, please.

But what about the ramblers, Mr. Brittas?

Initiate emergency procedure 34b.

Ah, the verruca code.

Precisely.

[All] [Chanting] Harry, Harry.

[Harry] I think you have to come away with me.

Don't you see, we were meant for each other.

Look, I just don't know, Harry.

But, but if I were to come with you,

it would just be for a trial period,

say 3, 4, maybe 5 years.

[Studio audience laughs]

Oh, moon maiden.

Not now, Harry, not now.

Welcome to the whitbury new town leisure centre,

European walk for health.

Now, anyone ever had foot and mouth disease?

Swine fever?

Anthrax?

Alright, form an orderly queue in that direction please.

Carole, spray 'em.

[Studio audience laughs]

Right, Gavin, get ready to take them through the dip please.

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

[Mr. Brittas] Colin, over to you.

Good afternoon, lovely day for a walk.

[Studio audience laughs]

Don't worry about me, I'm immune.

Mr. Brittas?

Julie.

What does rescinded mean?

Rescinded it means repealed, revoked, cancelled.

Oh, right.

Well the chief planning officer's been on

and he says that's what's happened

to your public right of way.

It was repealed, cancelled and thingy'd

when the leisure centre was built.

A-ha, right.

He also said you were cretinous,

but it's alright, I know what that means.

[Studio audience laughs]

Mr. Brittas, you know what the implications are.

Indeed I do, Gavin.

It means all those people are here without having paid.

Get rid of them.

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

We're gonna have to tell him, you know.

-What, Gordon? -[Chanting of 'Harry']

Do we have to?

Yes.

He won't like it.

Trust me.

Think nothing, think everything.

Think darkness, think light.

Yo.

[Walking boots stomp]

Oh god no, it's the hooded figure.

It's death, he's come for me.

I'm panicking, I'm panicking!

I'm panicking!

[Mr. Brittas] Out you go, please.

-[Helen] Uh, Gordon? -In a moment, my darling.

I'm just getting rid of these trespassers.

Out you go, please.

Out you go.

Out you go, there.

Right, Gavin, we are now in a position to close the centre

on the grounds that it is, in fact, a plague zone.

-Right, Mr. Brittas. -Right.

Gordon, could you come here a minute, please?

Yes, my angel.

I don't know quite how to put this to you-

oi, pillock.

I've had enough.

You are banned for life.

Gavin, I thought we'd thrown him out.

You can't ban me.

I'm on a public right of way.

Na-ha-ha-ha-ha, that is where you are wrong, squire.

Gavin, eject him forthwith.

I'm panicking, I'm panicking, I'm panicking!

I've seen him, the grim reaper!

-We're all gonna die! -[Object whizzes through air]

[Studio audience laughs]

-[Bang] -Oh, no!

I think you've killed him!

My husband!

What?

My husband!

What?

[Studio audience laughs]

So, it's finally come to this.

In a desperate attempt to claim the prize,

you've killed the real winner.

Any more for the sheep dip?

Colin, call the police.

With pleasure, Mr. Brittas.

We're finally going to arrest Mrs. Bidmead, are we?

[Studio audience laughs]

[Upbeat theme plays]

[Studio audience applauds and cheers]

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